From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
| 2day's self-gloating
|
|
It's been 25 years since your grandmother died and I remembered how you cried like a little pussy as she wasted away into an emaciated pile of death. She'd bring us lemonade with a smile hiding her loneliness (being a widow and all from your grandfather's freak unexpected death). I think I deserved her love more than you but, you know, she was your grandma. I think she loved me more than she loved you, but I never said that because that would be an asshole move, and I love you brah, would never be a dick to you.
We were young and awesome (especially me) with no idea about the hardships that would come with adult life. That is why I found it kind of hilarious to see her helpless in her hospital bed gagging on a tube. The irony is that she lived a selfless life and yet the universe didn't care. She spent her last days are with a tube down her throat unable to breathe. Of course I didn't laugh out loud (even though it was super funny), because that would have been terribly insensitive and I am a deeply caring awesome guy, especially when you are concerned. So I waited 10 years until I thought you'd be receptive to the hysterical comedic nature of that scene watching Grandma rot away in pain. Wasn't it a classic hoot? (Full article...)
|
| 2day...
|
|
January 5: Guillotine Day (France)
- 1789 - Joseph-Ignace Guillotin first proposes the idea of a simple cutting mechanism by which the heads of monarchist scum are efficiently detached.
- 1793 - Maximilien Robespierre, to speed up the long lines of people awaiting execution, designs a new guillotine based on Leonardo da Vinci's primitive helicopter designs.
- 1794 - Robespierre's severed head goes on to become the next Prime Minister of Belgium.
- 1977 - The last person to be execution by guillotine, Hamida Djandoubi, sells commemorative postcards to pay for his defense trial.
- 1996 - Georgia State Rep. Doug Teper is reelected on his promise to rename the guillotine the freedom slicer.
- 2003 - British scientists invent a hybrid lethal injection/guillotine device, by which the blade of a guillotine is replaced by a row of hypodermic needles.
|
|
| Word of 2day
|
procrastination
Use it among your friends.
Gloating is power.
|
|
Around the world
|
|
|
| DidUKnow...
|
*... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
|
Uncyclopedia Languages
|
| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,146 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Cctoide/AppealReskin!:
|
Uncyclopedia is made possible through contributions from readers like you.
All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
