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| 2day's self-gloating
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Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris.
Recently a debate aired on ABC's Nightline pitting popular theists, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, against two reviled atheists from the "Rational" Response Squad, which is also reviled. This testifies to the growing number (30 million people) of fools who profess there is no God. Add to that what I believe is possibly three times that number of functional atheists, those who believe in a God but don't show it (as True Christians® do, by voting Republican, wearing little American flag pins and putting Jesus fish on the tailgates of their pickup trucks), and patriotic Americans in America are facing a new religious horizon in which atheism is becoming a formidable foe.
Shockingly, although the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered that forty-five percent of the population would support an atheist for President. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of our Christian nation is alive and well. Secularization, if you are not aware, will signal the end of America as we know it. For example, soon the secular government, blinded by their lack of common Christian decency, will (as they did with public schools) banish the Bible from the White House, before banning it in church and eventually outlawing it in your very own home! Will real Americans continue to stand for this outrage? I pray to the Lord, no. (Full article...)
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| 2day...
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March 21: Vernal Equinox... Probably
- 5 AD - The first recorded instance of the question "What Would Jesus Do?" occurs when his mother asks what he wants for breakfast.
- 1890 - Oscar Wilde pens his novel The Picture of Dorian Gray in the vicinity of one of his favorite sources of inspiration, a kitchen sink.
- 1919 - The Treaty of Versailles is dictated to several secretaries, ending World War I. One of them is a German spy and covertly adds a clause mandating a sequel.
- 1931 - The electric guitar is introduced, resulting in the genre of Rock 'n Roll being born and enjoying its peak during the Great Depression.
- 1943 - In the last recorded mounted cavalry charge, soldiers on horseback from Austria-Hungary charge a battalion of Russian tanks and succeed in destroying 80% of them using only their broadswords and ceremonial poofy hats.
- 1993 - The first video is uploaded on the internet: a skin flute performance.
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| Word of 2day
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passenger
Use it among your friends.
Gloating is power.
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Around the world
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| DidUKnow...
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- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
- ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?
- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?
- ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
- ... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
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