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Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png
Somebody touch me.
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White people (also delicately called Crackas, Caucasians, Europoids and Honkies) are pasty, melanin-deficient humans who have been sprinkled throughout the planet to exploit its resources and boss around everyone of more humble colors. White people are allegedly smart (in ways that don't really matter) and complain about stupid stuff, even though they have it better than every other race. Despite having more privilege than can fit in a human body, they don't believe this is the case and in fact, feel entitled to even more and want to you know this all the time. In fact, whites love to hear themselves talk so much that they assemble entire collections of their own words (known as books) which are mostly about them.

Whites discriminate against everyone else. Non-whites, by comparison, don't discriminate against whites, because they don't have majority power, so it isn't discrimination even if they do. This means that even if a Chinese person said the most outrageous sounding racist thing against a cracker, it wouldn't be racist (see logic in previous sentence). If you don't get it, then you're racist. (Full article...)

Did you know...

*... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
  • ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?

In the news

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The face of HATE!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and DeltaruneEurovisionRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • Everyone ditching some Disney live-action remake for A Minecraft MovieTrump and Xi's tariff games • Americans scrambling last-minute to pay their taxes

Recent deaths: Meghan Markle's Netflix show • Kurt from Good BurgerGeorge Foreman23andMeBruce GloverRichard ChamberlainRoger Daltrey's eyes and earsVal KilmerYoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401KJay North • The playoff bids of all New York State NHL teams

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEIColumbus Blue Jackets' playoff chances

On this day...

Why didn't you get on the door Jack what are you a dumbass

April 15: Sinking of James Cameron's The Titanic Day

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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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