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Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. Poo Lit Surprise Logo.png
Somebody touch me.
Portrait-of-Homeless-Man-IMG 3825.jpg

Hey kid! Come on over here. I wanna tell you a story.

No, don't you keep walking. Get over here. Your mommy's gonna be a while in there, I can tell. I saw what she had for lunch.

Don't worry, you can trust me. I got a nice honest face, don't I?

Oh, I just want to tell you about what I sacrificed for your freedom.

You see, son, I come from harder times. Back in the day, Uncle Sam could send you where ever he wanted whenever he wanted. And that's what he done to me. I went to go fight for my country without complaint. Lost both my legs over in 'Nam. Then they spit me right out on the streets right out of the hospital and I had no money. I didn't get no medals. I didn't get no "thank you." I didn't get SHIT. (Full article...)

Did you know...

*... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?

In the news

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Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, and DeltaruneRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Ruth BuzziLeBron James' playoff run • Night CourtLopez vs LopezJayson Tatum's Achilles and Boston Celtics' repeat hopes • George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1Rick Derringer

Upcoming deaths: DEIGoogle's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen

On this day...

Mmmm, pornflakes.

May 31: "Stop the Devil's Handshakes with a Bowlful of Cornflakes" Day

Featured picture

Zoloft Seppuku
Though Zoloft has been very successful in its ad for fighting depression on American television, it's had difficulty adapting its campaign for Japan.

Image credit: RadicalX
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Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Oh my god! There are no more days left! It's today or miss the boat to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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