User:Mak G Nigga

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Mak_G_Nigga

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"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!"

Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (Pictured; this article is not sponsored by A.I.)
The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS!
US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters
So.. about that Super Bowl..
- Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
- Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day
Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

Recent deaths: Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson • ~~YouTube~~ • Tom Noonan • McSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z) • Melania Trump's big movie star career • Team Canada hockey, twice, AND their curling team

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about

Today

Other Days

February 22: International Day of Spam

1996 - Need money quick? Need money now? Get a Payday Loan today! It's not like you have a choice you poor piece of shit haha.
1998 - Got bills you need to pay? Some student loans looming overhead? Donate some plasma to literal blood-sucking capitalists.
1999 - There are hot singles in your area! I don't think you can do anything with that information, I just wanted to tell you.
2001 - Retro fans! Buy a complete box set of every movie and television series released during the 1980s, only $25,999.99! comes in fourteen trucks.
2005 - Buy the last 49,367 Blu-ray discs of Peter Jackson's opus King Kong, I don't know use it as tinsel it's starting to leak chemicals.
2011 - Look like your best self, buy our signature collection of foundation and concealer, made from the ground up bones of the long extinct sea cow.

Archive

... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured)

... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured)

... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?

... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)

... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
... that you should accept Jesus Christ as your personal savior, today!
... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color?
... that there is no other word for thesaurus?
... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?

... that your daughter wants to be just like her mommy? (Pictured)

... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
... that Uranus is a gas giant?

... that the Silver Surfer has a very large family? (Pictured)

... that Uranus is a gas giant?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"

... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?

... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?

... that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (Pictured)

... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
... that you should invest in chicken stock?
... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?

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More recent articles • Most wanted pages • Requested rewrites • Add to stubs • Lonely pages • Pee Review • Try writing about... • Stuck articles needing a push • Great ideas

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Uncyclopedia's patron, Oscar Wilde, dropping the truth on you bitches.

Exodus 32:

15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.

16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron.
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