From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
This User has been awarded the Real Nigga Seal of Approval
Shit I created
Awards I have accepted
Events
Today
February 22: International Day of Spam
- 1996 - Need money quick? Need money now? Get a Payday Loan today! It's not like you have a choice you poor piece of shit haha.
- 1998 - Got bills you need to pay? Some student loans looming overhead? Donate some plasma to literal blood-sucking capitalists.
- 1999 - There are hot singles in your area! I don't think you can do anything with that information, I just wanted to tell you.
- 2001 - Retro fans! Buy a complete box set of every movie and television series released during the 1980s, only $25,999.99! comes in fourteen trucks.
- 2005 - Buy the last 49,367 Blu-ray discs of Peter Jackson's opus King Kong, I don't know use it as tinsel it's starting to leak chemicals.
- 2011 - Look like your best self, buy our signature collection of foundation and concealer, made from the ground up bones of the long extinct sea cow.

Recent Changes
Just dropping by to say we've got a vandal on the loose
Keeps blanking Scofield's article.
a few seconds ago • Like • Comment
At least I have chicken...
2 minutes ago • Like • Comment
Of course I've had it in the ear before.
5 minutes ago • Like • Comment
Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron. Zombiebaron, Zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron zombiebaron? Zombiebaron!
8 minutes ago • Like • Comment
Guys. I ate some bacon today. And the worst part is that I enjoyed it. What have I become?
about an hour ago • Like • Comment
Needs more work.
Against.2 hours ago • Like • Comment
Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
- ... that Richard Nixon was well-known for his honesty and often referred to as Honest Dick?
- ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
- ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)

- ... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
- ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
- ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?

- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
- ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
- ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around?
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
- ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?"
- ... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?
- ... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
- ... that [Wiki|wiki formatting]] is perfect]? It never malfunctions'!
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
- ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
- ... that I'm secretly looking for Nazi Gold right now? (Pictured)
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
- ... that you should invest in chicken stock?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
- ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
|
|
Exodus 32:
- 15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.
- 16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.
Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
|
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains
41,055 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many
languages, including
Klingon!: