User talk:Dr. Skullthumper/Archive 6
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Chapter Eleven |
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Chapter Ten |
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Chapter Nine |
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Chapter Eight |
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The Unarchived |
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Chapter Seven |
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Chapter Six |
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Chapter Five |
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Chapter Four |
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Chapter Three |
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Chapter Two |
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Chapter One |
Talky space!
Raep!
I raep your talkyspace!
Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 19:19, 25 May 2008 (UTC)
- Not cool. The man's left us, for god's sake. Way to throw it in his face like he were just any ol' asshat.
- Skullthumper is no asshat
- He's my best friend.
- I love him. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 01:13 May 26
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!
I'd been looking forward to putting that template on that article for years!! Why must you ruin everything so! ;_; • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:48, 26 May 2008q
- Because you're Spang. Also, q. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:49 May 26, 2008
Dude, I heard Dr. Skullthumper left
Is that true? - Don Leddy the Crunch 
(Nyah, see, nyah!) 03:01, May 26
- Yes. He's gone. Gone, gone, gone. Forever. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:18 May 26, 2008
- Aww man, he was cool. I heard he was no asshat. And a friend of SysRq's is a friend of mine. - Don Leddy the Crunch
(Nyah, see, nyah!) 03:26, May 26
- Aww man, he was cool. I heard he was no asshat. And a friend of SysRq's is a friend of mine. - Don Leddy the Crunch
- I miss you, Cajek. ~Minitrue Sir SysRq! Talk! Sex! =/ GUN • WotM • RotM • AotM • VFH • SK • PEEING • HP • BFF @ 15:25 May 26
Even though you're leaving us forever and totally not becoming less active for an undetermined amount of time...
Can we still keep Fnoodle? Unsolicited conversation Extravagant beauty PEEING 03:04, 27 May 2008 (UTC)
- Speaking of Fnoodle, did you know that he changed "teh" to "the" in one of my articles? Just thought I'd mention it. - Don Leddy the Crunch (Nyah, see, nyah!) 03:44, May 27
- Fnoodle mentioned something about "killing all humans." Is that bad? • <3:47, 27 May 2008>
UnSignpost: May 29nd, 2008
Word to your mother.
May 29th, 2008 • Issue 5
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Uncyclopedia Second Most Active Wikia Site  According to local Wikia staffmember Sannse, Uncyclopedia is the second most active site, next to Halopedia. "Yep. People are more interested in Halos than Uncys. I've never really bothered to look at either site, so I'm not sure why one is more active than another, but I'm sure it's because Halopedia is superior." Reporters on-site have looked into the rumors. Apparently, Halopedia is in fact not about halos, but instead is an entire wiki... devoted to a video game. "Oh lord, this is embarrassing," said Master Chief, the main character of said video games. "I thought I could keep this under wraps for a while longer, but you people in the press are like fucking vultures. WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE?!" Apparently Halopedia's nearest competitor, Uncyclopedia, is some kind of "humor wiki" meant to induce laughter. "Uncyclopedia's laughter is nothing compared with ours," said Evilpedia's founder, User:Dr. Doom, "Our laughter will ring all throughout Wikia, and then: THE WORLD!". Other statistics include the nerdiest wiki and Furwiki, the most disturbing wiki. Uncyclopedia is neither the largest wiki (Wookiepedia), nor the most active (Halopedia), but it does come very close to first in both categories. Who wants to be first place anyway? Nobody wants to win all the time! Like Unsignpost's father used to say: "You learn more from losing than winning!" and really, that's all that matters! ...AAAAHHHHHH!!!!! BASTAAAARRRDDSSS!!! Following Fourth Issue, UnSignpost Does Lame Clip Show  After having not seen his boss for a few days, Cajek, or as his friends call him, "Cuntjek", and his team of writers have been forced to rely on past issues and a clip show in article form. "Don't look at us that way!" said that one guy we were talking about. "A few days ago, when Skull was around, I was only editor of the fetish section, now I'm in charge of the whole thing. Jeez, I hope Skull is okay..." The lame clip show was said to be almost entirely from the first issue, when the Unsignpost was "cool", and before the fetish section took over the whole paper. According to reports to this newsroom, the clip show article included the "weekbox of the week" from issue 1 that instructed Cajek and Skull to slather humor juice on an anonymous reader, and the "Goatse Challenging Gap" from issue 2. "Oh shit, what else we got?" Carjack screamed across the newsroom. As of this issue, the huge portrait of Dr. Skullthumper has been prayed to for nigh two weeks since his mysterious disappearance. Fnoodle, who usually serves coffee to the writers (albeit very angrily), has gone on a quest to find his former master. So far, no word of Skullthumper's whereabouts have reached the press.
Letters to the Editor I am a female student from University of Nigeria, Lagos. I am suitable yrs old. I'd like any person who can be caring, loving and home oriented. I will love to have a long-term relationship with you and to know more about you. I would like to build up a solid foundation with you in time coming if you can be able to help me in this transaction. Well, my father died earlier two months ago and left my mother I and my junior brother behind. He was a king, which our town citizens titled him before his death. I was a Princess to him and I and my brother are the only people who can take Care of his wealth now because my mother is not literate enough to know all my father's wealth behind. He left up to USD $27,350,000.00 dollars (TWENTY SEVEN MILLION, THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND US DOLLAR) with a security company, and I don't know how and what I will do to invest this money somewhere in abroad, so that my father's kindred will not take over what belongs to my father and our family, which they were planning to do without my present because I am a female as stated by our culture in the town. That is why I felt happy when I saw your contact which I strongly believe that by the grace of God, you will help me secure and invest this money. I thereby need your help in bringing the box contaning the money out from the security company, based on your reply I will furnish you with more details on how we can proceed. I am ready to pay 10% of the total amount to you if you help us in securing this money and another 10% interest of Annual Income to you, for handling this business for us, which you will strongly have absolute control over. If you can handle this project sincerely and also willing to assist me in lifting this fund, kindly reach me and I will let you know the next step to take towards actualizing this transaction as quickly as possible. Please, note that this transaction is 110% risk free. I look forward hearing from you soonest. Yours sincerest, Miss Lady Princess Irreverent
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 02:56, 29 May 2008 (UTC)
- Do you notice anything different about the deliverybot I used? hahahaha but seriously come back now. • <1:44, 01 Jun 2008>
UnSignpost: June 5th, 2008
Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.
June 5th, 2008 • Issue 6
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Sixth Issue Relies on Guest Writers For the sixth issue of Unsignpost, guest writers from outside the fold have been chosen to write a bunch of stupid crap. Among them are the illiterate administrator Zombiebaron and reformed drug mule ThePaleOne. The community's outcries were heard soon afterwards, probably. Jack Phoenix, a respected Wikia staff member, said of one of the articles "Nobody cares about Cajek trolling Wookiepedia anymore. In fact, I'm kind of ashamed of Uncyclopedia for doing something like this. It's like I'm at a well-written version of ED." The Unsignpost staff, full of miscreants and malcontents, hung its collective head in shame and went to the corner for a sit down. Qua, who wanted to be in this issue of Unsignpost to whore his userpage, issued a statement at the press conference located at his Mayan temple: "Why didn't they do an injoke article on the fifth issue? Am I the only one who cares? Where have the lols gone, my friends? Where have the lols gone?" In response, the Unsignpost sent a secret "Fifth Issue Of Unsignpost" article directly to Qua, where it will be housed until his death. The Unsignpost writers, who have had a cut in pay since the leaving of Dr. Skullthumper, are now relying on the work of random people found on IRC for their inspiration. We now present to you an article in the Unsignpost by somebody else about a guy who works at the Unsignpost... /me headdesk [note: "me" refers to the entire Unsignpost staff]
It has been reported on #uncyclopedia that Cajek, our resident editor, has been banned from the "Star Wars Wiki", Wookieepedia. There has been an outrage in the star wars community, as they find Cajek to be a charming and respectable fellow [ed note: Cajek did NOT write this!]. Even us here at the the UnSignPost believe so, ( but don't tell Cajek that! ) [ed note: I SAW THAT! YOU'RE OFF THE CASE!] I spoke to one Cajek fan, Darth Vader, to see what kind of impact this has had on the community. "It really is tragic to see him get banned," said a distraught Vader, with tears dripping from his helmet, "I just don't understand it! How can there be no Cajek?! We've seen his greatest and sometimes his somewhat lameness. But we will be EPIC FAIL without him" Vader's emotionally wrecked state shows the devastation caused by the Wookieepedia senate's unruly vote. I just hope Palpatine wasn't behind this, I voted for him too! I sat down with another fan, Jar Jar Binks, to discuss this radical move. "Mesa think its outrageous! Mesa no like Wookieepedia afta this! This beein worse than <insert name here>'s bombad faggotry!" And indeed it is. Personally, I denounce the Leftist Bias of Wookieepedia and their slander against Cajek. What did he ever do to them right? Personally, I hope Something really bad happens to those immature, pubescent, oxycotin sniffing children. In other news, 52% of Uncyclopedia agrees that Cajek should be set on fire on Sunday's Luau against 45% for drowned in his own discharge. 3% were undecided.
Alright. So. This is going to be cool. Because. You see. Therefore. Once upon a time. There was this really big house. Inside the house was a monster. Oh. This is a newspaper. Well, in that case, the monster was operating a grow op. Right. And the monster was named Skullthumper (because this is his fault, really, when you deconstruct it down to the last proton). Yeah!!!! But. Going onwards and upwards. The cops busted the grow op. It was fucking huge, man. THIS IS NEWS. IN THE UNSIGNPOST.
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:14, 5 June 2008 (UTC)
Pic
Yeah, so you're not about so much. Don't care. Still want your pic in this. (Use this in case you didn't already know). --SirU.U.Esq. VFH | GUN | Natter | Uh oh | Pee 13:31, Jun 9
UnSignpost: June 12th, 2008
The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things
June 12th, 2008 • Issue 7
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Cajek banned - New, shittier writer assigned to this stupid job
Recently Cajek, an Uncyclopedia user who has been labelled as a mystical creature, was been given a one month ban by the council of Wikia. Users who feared that UnSignpost would not be written or delivered. But Qua, who is currently in a state of shock, said that "Cajek was a good guy, I didn't expect him to get banned for a month. He was about to help me, I don't know what he was going to help me with but he was going to help me with something.". Many Uncyclopedians that are known have a hold a grudge against Cajek celebrated his recent ban saying "While he might be back in only a month, we should take the time to celebrate and rejoice a Cajek-free environment."
 It has been reported that Flumpa, Uncyclopedia's very own pimply faced ginger-nut has left Uncyclopedia forever, due to irreconcilable differences. He cites the banning of users, fights between the two, the treatment of IP's as "real people" and the lack of cookies in mommas cookie jar. One of our reporters spoke to Flumpa as he was packing his wagon to leave Uncyclopedia "I like the holding hands and the fairy floss but Sophia has icky wiki germs and I just couldn't get past that. However I hear this new EDwina down the street is available, she may play in mud but I hear she has yummy yummy cookies." 127.0.0.1, leader of the "IPs are Real People, Too" Foundation had said that "Flumpa makes some great points on IP treatment, such as telling them that behind that string of random numbers lies an actual person; A person with heart. A person with brain. A person with spleen." When asked whether he would share his hard earned money on a badge from the Keep-the-IP's-out-of-Bannation-Foundation, this reporter simply told them to bugger off and get their own alcohol addiction gawdammit! We do, however, wish Flumpa the best of luck as he travels across the wiki-street with his trademarked brand of Off-topic forums to meet this EDwina fellow.
We at the UnSignpost would like to remind all Uncyclopedian editors that June is Internet safety month. Through the efforts of Uncyclopedia and other sites across the Internet, we can help protect innocent children and frail grandmothers from seeing offensive content CONDOMS Uhm, we're sorry about that. The editor that wrote that previous sentence has been fired, in accordance with the rules of Internet safety month. UnSignpost would like to remind all editors to use extra padding in tables, because we don't want the little kiddies touching the sharp edges and getting hurt. As per Internet safety month, all uploaded porn will be closely monitored to see if the models are engaging in safe fucking. I mean sex. SEX! I meant SEX! We apologize for the previous two editors. They have been shot, out in the hallway, in the most safe method possible, we assure you. We even laid out cushions for them to fall on. Anyway, Websense and other Internet blocking sites will up its sensors to block over 99.99% of the Internet. What will remain is available is the Wikipedia article "Frog", weather.com, and anything unblocked in China. We at UnSignpost wish you a happy Internet safety month, and hope that you stay safe. Remember to always use a firewall. Websense has blocked this column for the following reason: This column contains "humor".
Difficult times lie ahead for schoolbound Uncyclopedians. A series of semi-challenging tests lie in the near future for many, and everyone's workload seems to be growing. Unfortunately for Uncyclopedians, finals are nearly here. However, luckily for Uncyclopedia, finals are almost here! This means that, as procrastination rates skyrocket, Uncyclopedia activity grows proportionally. Haven't been studying for your math final? Those fancy words mean that Uncyclopedia usage is going up, just as teachers pull out their hair worrying about keeping their kids' averages above the department bottom line so they can keep their jobs. However, here at UnSignpost and Uncyclopedia, we pride ourselves on allowing for multi-tasking. So, here is a series of brief study guides that are pretty much all you need: Science: For this final, you will be asked questions about science. However, simply remember a few facts, and your science final will be a breeze. These include remembering that ontogeny does not recapitulate phylogeny, pyruvate and phosphofruktokinase function as glycolytic enzymes, and the kidneys are located three ribs up from the malnuric sphincter. Math: Just prove to your teacher that 1=2, and any answer you give is automatically right. English: ENGLISH, MOFO, DO YOU SPEAK IT? History: To pass this, just try to remember a few important dates: 622BC, 394BC, 211BC, 5BC, 11AD, 24AD, 300AD, 906AD, 1102AD, 1619AD, 1791AD, 1963AD, and 2012AD. Tech. Ed.: Basically, you take a saw and cut shit up. Fucking A. Music class: Try not to fail and blow any notes. You'd sure look like a real tool, then, huh. Art: Just explain to your teacher how deep and misunderstood you are, and paint your feelings. Take a few pictures with a black and white camera setting and write a few "dark" poems, and if your teacher knows how often you cry then you'll have an easy A. Foreign language: THIS IS AMERICA, SPEAK AMERICAN! Gym: If you're really planning on studying for this final, then only God can help you now.
 An article by Zombiebaron has caused a huge feud between the all-powerful admins that could ban me again. Thekillerfroggy has charged that the "Nonsense Watermelon Catastrophe" was not newsworthy enough, while Zombiebaron charges that the article is newsworthy, and therefore should not be deleted. In the fight, many people have cried "drama" and run for their lives. "Oh, this is deliiiicious!" said resident fucktard Drama. We spoke to Drama in his white linoleum mansion. He stopped seductively petting his gay snow leopard long enough to talk to us. "I loooove drama. I want their drama dripping all over my linoleum castle. I want their orgasmic screams of anger to rattle the walls! What do you think, Puffles?" "Oohh, puurrrrr" said Puffles. Some of the more regular users have claimed that the drama will bring unwanted side effects. RAHB has recently said to one of our reporters: "Remember, when there's drama, Ljlego touches himself." [Ed note: he said that on IRC, I swear. to. god. ban: banbanban.] Zombiebaron, an administrator who just happens to be a spectre of the unwept dead, spoke at his crypt this Tuesday dressed in his ceremonial black and red robes: "Hhhgggrrrr, I do not like speaking to the public: They give me a rash. As far as how random uncyclopedia is, we have two admins who are a balloon and a frog, so my article is perfect. The drama will not be settled until I taste the frog's flesh. Suffffeeeerrrrrr..." The Killer Froggy issued a statement soon after, with his frog army in the background: "ribbit? RIBBIT! ribbit. ribbit ribbit ribbit!" Both administrators have promised to ban the poor, misunderstood writer of this article if their statements were printed, but that's the risk we take to bring you the news. That's just how cool we are. Drama is the real winner here. As of this printing, he is planning to buy his gay snow leopard a fluffy red cape with the profits. And remember: every time there's drama, Ljlego touches himself. I'm not fucking kidding. He's all like, "oh yeah, oh, oh yeah I love you drama" and they're both in the love coven, snugglin' n' shit. I have pictures, guys! I swear it's totally ins AS OF THIS PARAGRAPH, CAJEK HAS BEEN BANNED INDEFINITELY. |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 17:04, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
Your story + unsignpost
great story, here are my... thoughts, if you're interested? here. I haven't gone to the press room yet, to see what's so "hilarious" but I will. Tell me what you think of my interpretation of your story. • <6:52, 14 Jun 2008>
- Dude, your interpretation is amazing, and you've only read two of the seven parts. I'm beyond interested to see what you do with the other five parts. If you can figure out how Hell works, and the symbolism behind the Frogs, why, I'll give you a cookie. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 14:49 Jun 14, 2008
- HELL IS OTHER WRITERS! :O
- HELL IS A DANTE'S INFERNO METAPHOR! :O
- HELL IS DR. SKULLTHUMPER AND HIS NERDY WRITER FRIENDS! :O
- yay! cookie time! :D • <16:30, 14 Jun 2008>
Nern
The next time you remove a tag I placed, please consult with me first. Thanks. ~
07:48, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
• <14:37, 16 Jun 2008>
See, most people don't care who removes what tag or when, trusting other editors' judgment, or because they're too lazy to check. I'll have to add you to my mental list of "People Who Care". – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:50 Jun 16, 2008
Psychological thrillers, FTW?
I liked very much the praise of my story! And your interpretation of the themes was right on! Uh, when I started writing this, I had no idea where it would go. I just want to do a character study. The events in the story are foils for the themes and the characters. I like stories that do that. Thanks for reading, Skull!!! • <21:09, 16 Jun 2008>
- I left a comment on your newest work, and posted the latest 3 chapters of mine, btw • <2:30, 17 Jun 2008>
rm'vd </stalking> • <4:37, 17 Jun 2008>
- Removed, I need to delete that – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:15 Jun 17, 2008
Are you still updating your blog, DrS? • <2:14, 19 Jun 2008>
UnSignpost: June 19th, 2008
Word to your mother.
June 19whenever-th, 2008 • Issue 8
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UnSignpost abandoned by creators!
Uncyclopedia's popular newspaper/tacky tabloid rag (delete according to preference) the UnSignpost - already floundering following the loss of founding editor Dr. Skullthumper - has been dealt another, possibly fatal blow, with the news that popular feature-machine and international diplomat Cajek has not been arsed to edit the latest issue. When thursday June 19th dawned without the by-now-traditional UnSignpost dropping onto their talkpages, Unycylopedians everywhere could be heard bravely dealing with the incident by pretending they hadn't noticed. We asked prominent Uncyc contributors for their reactions to the journalistic crisis facing their favourite wiki-based news delivery system. "SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON.... SCREAM FOR ME BOSTON!" said Don Leddy, obviously coping badly with the news. Sensing a possible catastrophe, DJ Irreverent bravely leaped into the breach and created a forum topic that galvanised the community, while UU declared himself too busy to help, then promptly wrote about half of the paper. While still suffering from writer's block, which explains the total lack of lulz and inspiration thus far. It's probably about time to link to nobody cares and close this story now, isn't it? Industrial mogul joins Uncyclopedia, promises great wealth to all.
Donald Trump, the man, the legend, the Tower, the hairstyle, has taken time out of his busy international schedule to create a forum topic promising affluence beyond the dreams of avarice to all on Uncyclopedia! Despite the impeccable credentials displayed on his userpage, so far only Qua and SysRq managed to take advantage of the popular billionaire's altruism before he was ruthlessly banned by noted anti-capitalist Codeine. UnSignpost was particularly impressed with Codeine's ability to resist the temptation to use "you're fired" as a block reason, as we are sure it would have been all but overwhelming. It is to be hoped that, on his return from bannination, Mr Trump will use his undoubted wealth and business connections to help Uncyc beat the ever-encroaching threat of Wikia's advertising plans. N00b ties knot
Popular recent NotM winner Cheapinitreal has further embarrassed the Uncyclopedia community by becoming all respectable and getting married. Confessing to his transgression, Cheap added "all and all, it was a right fine week". The UnSignpost would like to write something really funny here, then wish Cheap all the best, but this issue is being rushed out as it's, like, way late, so we just don't have time. UnSignpost resorts to blatant filler
In a move heralded as "an exciting development in journalism" by guest editor UU, the UnSignpost today employed blatant flannel to fill an annoying white gap at the bottom of the page. It is believed that this is the first such instance of using blatant rubbish to fill a newspaper page in journalistic history. "I'm proud to be at the vanguard of such a groundbreaking technique" said UU, before going off to scour Cajek's ideas page in a desperate hunt for inspiration. "Is this long enough yet?" he added, before concluding "not quite, another few words or so should do the trick". |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 01:12, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: June 26nd, 2008
The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes
June 26th, 2008 • Issue 9
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Uncyclopedia running out of Interesting Stuff. UnSignpost in Jeopardy!
Recently. Uncyclopedia, in its maternal state. Is running out of interesting stuff as most users keep filling her with the same old stuff day after day. Most if not almost all of the staff at the UnSignpost panicked as this meant that their newspaper, which faced the threat of disabondement yesterday. Could be folded by the Uncyclopedia Penis Man returns!
 At exactly 12:29 AM Monday morning, some local idiot decided that it would be a great day to stir up drama and piss people off with some long forgotten shit. And with that, Penis Man made his way back to our great Uncyclopedia with the intent of vandalizing Boomer's userpage. Soon after, the Town drunk Eugene Kay decided to follow suit by uploading the same image by the name of Zombiepenis. Why he decided to make such an apparent strike at the admin who has beat him so much is currently unknown. We at UnSignpost give them both a 25000000:1 chance of being banned. Local Uncyclopedian starts up Devil-Worship Wiki
 In a recent devil-related press conference. Cartoon Diablo, the younger and sillier version of Diablo. Has started up The Devil's Wiki, a wiki dedicated to worship of Satanism and The Devil itself. In a recent interview, Cartoon Diablo has said personally that "The wiki's going to contain a lot about the devil, no seriously. There's going to be articles about the caverns of hell, the kind of foods the devil eats and also various artworks done by the Devil himself. And if your asking if it's going to be great. Well... Yeah!, It's going to be satantastic!". Immediately after this was posted on the UnSignpost, 2 people have joined the satanic wiki. The 2 people are described to be a Himilianian Yettie and an Male Amish Human. Both of them have pledged their allegiance to the devil in return for absolute power. In today's weather report, make sure to bring an umbrella as Hell may be raining over within the next few days. Uncyclopedia's Reign of the Newbs Begins
Interestingly enough, lots of new noobs (and old noobs) are getting featured articles these days. Somehow, the cult of the newbs has awoken, and Uncyc has felt its presence link to Double Entendre. Oh... did I say that out loud? "I don't trust the young 'uns," said Farmer O'Dell at his grain silo, "They write funny articles, yeah, but what do they contribute to the community?" Actually, writers like Hyperbole, Cheapinitreal, and The Woodburninator have stepped up, and are already commanders. Except that last one, who is close enough. Big time contributors like YesTimeToEdit, Qua, and Orian57 are cleaning up this pig sty. Older members of uncyc have become less active, and are paving the way for these rising stars to shine. Uh, speaking as myself? I've never been more proud of Uncyclopedia than I have in the last month or so. Keep it up, guys! |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:30, 27 June 2008 (UTC)
WHEN I DO THIS
YOU GET A YELLOW BANNER --CharitwoTalk 01:03, 1 July 2008 (UTC)
THE DOLLAR SIGN GOES BEFORE THE NUMBER
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''''''++#++#+'#++'''+'.............``...``..`,+''''+',';'',:::,,.............:'''''';;;';;;;.,:.,,.;:,,;;;;';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;'';;;;;;:;;;;;;;;:;;;;;;;;;;;;';#++'+;;#+;:;''''';;;''''''''';';;';';;,;;;,::;;'';'';;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;';;;
I'm wondering if this would persuade you
• <6:25, 07 Jul 2008>
- ...to? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 06:53 Jul 07, 2008
- Did it persuade you, as YTTE said, to "get back together"? BE CAREFUL: It is a ghost. (to see the connection, press the "random page" button on the left side of your "screen") • <13:35, 07 Jul 2008>
- So, how's the UnSignpost doing in my inactivity? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:25 Jul 07, 2008
- Not very consistent. I haven't checked the press room or anything. I haven't worked on it, but I think THEDUDEMAN is the writer for the 10th issue. I did four or five issues nearly all by myself, maybe you could do a couple dozen issues? • <20:53, 07 Jul 2008>
- So, how's the UnSignpost doing in my inactivity? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:25 Jul 07, 2008
Someone's vandalizing your userpage
People are vandalizing your userpage. I reverted them to the earlier version. --Penis · Talk · Contributions 10:24, 8 July 2008 (UTC)
- I appreciate your concern, but RAHB, Starnestommy, Mordillo and I are all buddies. We pull pranks on each other sometimes on Uncyclopedia, and this is just one of them. We were just messing around. Thanks anyway though! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 10:26 Jul 08, 2008
UnSignpost: Jewlie 3rd/10th, 2008
The Newspaper that won't leave you the same way they did!
July 10th, 2008 • Tenth Issue Spectacular!
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Uncyclopedia running out of interesting stuff, UnSignpost starts up shitty telethon!  Look at you, sitting there all high and mighty with your Chuck Norris facts and Oscar Wilde quotes, well during this season of laziness and sitting round jacking off, please donate the gift of humor (or humour, we bend that way to no matter how much we are chased out of church) to a poor Uncyclopedian run newspaper near you. Take this poor little article for example; Canadian Tire Money or Canny as no-one calls him, just 8 minutes old and he is already roaming the streets. Illiterate and doing incoherency, long lines of lists and e before i (especially after c), it is only a matter of time before he turns to gay jokes to fund his addictions. Please help this little article achieve its potential as an Injoke by donating the gift of laughter, stupidity... or even just simple bad taste. Successes
There's more you can do... Call you're nearest admin and start a discussion about just how much humor you can donate (read: swearing and shock-porn), or start the 2717231278th forum topic concerning how we all must strive to remove the scourge of shitty articles. In the immortally misattributed words of our founding fathers, stillwaters and Chronarion "Fuck were we high" er... or words of respected member TheLedBalloon "Also, in the ass or the mouth?" oh dear... or even words of Please help Save Cats from Degrading Captions- wait... - Save the Porn onto my Hard-drive- uh... I remember! Save UnSignpost from falling into a pit of lame memes and boring articles, here is a parting word from a little one in need of YOUR help. Ry4N IS TEh GH3Y n00b whO SUX b4lls!!1 ~ Ryan kella Makes you think don't it? We will be taking your calls now. Or now. Not now. Ok, now. Modusoperandi OP'ed!?
This past month of June, the Uncyclopedia community got its first chance at VFS since February, and one new op was decided upon. While there were many great and very capable candidates, one in particular got the most attention and the most votes. Modusoperandi. This long time Uncyclopedian has been to VFS almost every time it gets opened as far as we can trace, and always misses it in the final round by a slim number of votes. However, this month turned out to be a winner for him, so congratulations Modus. MO likes to spend his time writing things and 'chopping some images, but also finds time to goof off in the forums, and relieve the everyday pressure of his fellow colleagues with his off topic sense of humor, which he rarely hides. Modus has a total of 19.5 featured articles as well as 10 featured images. We at UnSignpost congratulate Modus on his winnings, and are willing to put $10 on him becoming the next STM. UnSignpost Takes A Wikibreak
Yeah, the UnSignpost, the newspaper that Uncyclopedia would totally fall apart without, took a wikibreak last week. They seem to be fashionable, so we thought we'd find out what they were all about. They seem to involve time spent not hunched over a keyboard in a darkened room. The UnSignpost reminds you that such activities are hazardous to your health, and should be avoided at all costs. (Note: this is absolutely true - in no way did the UnSignpost just miss a week because no-one could be bothered to edit it, or anything) |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:25, 12 July 2008 (UTC)
Fnoodle
And you said he died in a freak boating accident. Ohh you fibber you. MrN 
00:42, Jul 15
PLS
Hey Skull, I'm really sorry about this, but I won't be able to judge the best noob category for the PLS. As much as I'd really really love to judge, the judging period is taking place during right about the time I'll be getting kicked out and trying to keep from being homeless. I'm not 100% certain of that schedule at this point, but seeing as there's a high likelihood something will be up, I don't want to say I'll be here if I won't. Thank you for your time, and tell Fnoodle I said hi. -RAHB 06:30, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
- Good luck, man. I really really hope things work out for you. I'll take care of the PLS stuff tomorrow, no worries. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 06:34 Jul 15, 2008
Judge not...
...since its Poo lit again, may I please be a judge a again? Dame 
GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 15:53, 15 July 2008 (UTC)
- We're full right now, but I'll be sure to contact you if we're in need of a backup. I've been getting names from this forum, and I figured I'd let them have a chance first. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:21 Jul 15, 2008
I'm stupid. Where do I judge? -- Kip the Egg 
Talk Works 17:12, Jul. 15, 2008
- Yes you are. It's in the mysterious memo my servant sent you. I have only this to say: Find the link... find the link... find the link... find the link... find the link... buy me a cheeseburger... – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:21 Jul 15, 2008
L
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL?!
PLSSSSSSsSSszSZsSSsSsSSsSSSSZzSSZ
I can judge, no probs there --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 
23:41, 18 July 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: July 17th, 2008
The Newspaper That DOESN'T Think It's Better Than You!
July 17th, 2008 • Eleventh Issue • Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
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It's The Poo Lit. Surprised?
Uncyclopedia's twice annual writing competition, the Poo Lit Surprise starts this week. In typical Uncyclopedia style, it seems to have come as a surprise to many, not least EMC, who was supposed to be running it, but who has disappeared without trace. Horrified by what was happening to their beloved and prestigious competition, the Uncyclopedia community rushed into action as soon as it noticed (a day or so late), and promptly agreed someone needed to do something. This was followed by some of the community running around in small circles, flapping their hands wildly and panicking a bit, before cuddly authority figure Zombiebaron decisively stepped in and selflessly told Dr. Skullthumper to sort it out and get the fuck on with it. At the time of going to press, both Skullthumper and Zombiebaron may have been available for comment for all we know, but we couldn't be bothered to ask them. VFS: The Race Hots Up For The Second Month Running
In an unprecedented turn of events, and due to namby-pamby unclear rules that have since been firmed up and given a healthy gay colour makeover, Uncyclopedia is voting for further candidates to be admitted to the non-existent cabal. The race is turning out to be quite a close one between several of the frontrunners, so the ever-impartial UnSignpost (founded by Cajek and Dr. Skullthumper) brings you pen pics of the current favourites.
Who will win? All may be reported in future editions of the UnSignpost. If we remember. And if we can be bothered. |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 06:00, 20 July 2008 (UTC)
robot
hey doc, i just noticed that Fnoodle fixed typos in my UnNews article that has intentional typos. is there a way to prevent your robot buddy from seeing this page? -- 14:42, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
- Hahahahaha... Oh god, here we go again. XD Check out skull's archives, Gerry... - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
(Tick Tock) (Contribs) 18:32, Jul 23
UnSignpost: July 24th, 2008
Word to your mother.
July 24th, 2008 • Twelfth Issue • Now On Time?
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Count to a million This week Uncyclopedians continued on their quixotic attempt to "count to a million." Started by Uncyclopedia Wiki-master and Chamber of Commerce Secretary Spang in early March of this year, the project seeks to eventually reach the number one million (1,000,000) through the ancient art of counting. Any person who is capable of taking a number, adding one to it, and expressing the result has been invited to join the massive undertaking, which has seen dozens of contributors come and go. As is always the case here at Uncyc, the project has spawned controversy, criticism, and a spin-off starring Tony Shalhoub as Olipro. The forum is an unprecedented pool of knowledge. As each number is reached, it is discussed in-depth by several Uncyclopedians. Insights such as "114 That's my age + 100 lololol" and "616 fucks fucking fucker's shitty crap" are a testament to the intellecually stimulating conversation that occurs each day. Oftentimes, relevant images are posted; the variety of these pictures can be seen by looking here, here, here, and here. However, not everyone is so optimistic about the project. Some have expressed concern that the entire thing has some kind of sinister purpose. When asked for a comment on the harmless-appearing but diabolically-undertoned project, TheLedBalloon said, "although the project appears harmless, there are definitely diabolical undertones." Another anonymous user stated, "that forum is most surely not pants." Spang himself has expressed his desire to leave behind a legacy, but he has also left open the possibility that "the entire thing is just an urban myth, and doesn't really exist." Regardless of its true meaning or intentions, Uncyclopedians continue to trudge on in their epic quest, reaching 0.075% of their goal this Monday. Editors come and go, the pace quickens and slackens, but someone is always there to figure out the next number in the sequence. At its current rate, the project will reach one million on August 19th, 2526. Until that glorious day, Uncyclopedians can only dream... Cheevers Fires Back! After some light-hearted slights in last week's issue, Gerry Cheevers - Uncyclopedia's resident headcase and #2 hockey authority - has taken exception with the editors of this fine periodical. An ugly scene erupted in the USP press room after Gerry barged in, demanding some sort of justice. Luckily, some quick thinking by our tea-boy and current stand-in editor caused Mr. Cheevers to be distracted by a shiny object long enough to avoid any damage to our delicate newspapering equipment. After it was pointed out that he had in fact come and gone from Uncyclopedia like some sort of cow that grazes on witty satire and coherent parody, Gerry calmed down enough give a brief interview and let some of our junior reporters scratch him behind the ears. When asked about the reasons for his return, Gerry cited many things. Prominent among them were a desire to have humor play a larger role in his life once again, the thrill of writing articles, the subsequent crushing defeat after said articles have been hacked to pieces mercilessly, and his heterosexual man-crush on Mhaille. The one-time WotM nominee fell on hard times in mid-March, and went on sabbatical when his computer decided that it was not long for this world and took its own life. After that, Gerry resorted to breaking into libraries after-hours to cast VFH votes on city-owned, porn-riddled, abysmally slow dial-up computers. Luckily he landed a job in late May and has spent a majority of his time at said job slacking off and editing Uncyclopedia. Mr. Cheevers looks forward to getting back to what he is known for: mediocre writing, scathing Pee Reviews, and keeping Manforman locked up in the Uncyc dungeons. Several prominent Uncyclopedians share his optimism for a permanent return, including noted reviewing robot MrN9000, who stated that he was "willing to bet everything Cajek owns to that effect," and heavy zeppelin Don Leddy, who expressed his delight at seeing Gerry, exclaiming "gimme back my twenty dollars!" |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 16:37, 24 July 2008 (UTC)
PLS plox
The "Best Illustrated" section is completely hopeless (more than entirely my fault) all the articles are still under construction. What should be done? 1 week extension? Scrap the whole section? Cheese? --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:01, 27 July 2008 (UTC)
- Ahh, yes... You mean that PLS thing? That thing which closes tomorrow, and we don't know how we are going to be judging it? Looks like there is no option but to abandon the whole thing and just post me the cash. MrN
12:07, Jul 27
You put the frogs up?
So... should I put Snow up, then? • <18:15, 28 Jul 2008>
- I have no idea. There's no harm in it, right? Also, Roads, the story that comes after Frogs, has begun. Thought you ought to know. I don't know how good or bad it is, but damn, it's fun to write. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 18:58 Jul 28, 2008
- And it has pasta! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:22, Jul 28
- I just read UnBooks:The Frogs, and I must say, you can write. What are you still doing around Uncyclopedia? Get published! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 21:34, Jul 28
- I've been writing on my own blog lately (check the link in my sig & the "Stories" tab on my blog). If you liked The Frogs at all, take a gander at Roads, the next story. It's seven parts, with a new part posted every two days. Thanks muchly for the compliment! I'm trying, trust me! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:04 Jul 28, 2008
- I just read UnBooks:The Frogs, and I must say, you can write. What are you still doing around Uncyclopedia? Get published! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 21:34, Jul 28
- And it has pasta! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon
Poo Lit Surprise
Hey! I was just wondering if you can still enter my article into the n00b category in Poo Lit Surprise. It said on the rules that you can still submit until the 29th. Currently, it is 7:35 on the 28th for me, and I'd really like to still get my entry in. I apologize for any inconvenience this might cause. --mrmonkey72 00:36, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
- Dreadfully sorry, sah, but the rules say, "...all times are to be measured by UTC, and all phases of the contest end at midnight on the specified day..." Meaning that, yes, the time for submission has passed. Sorry :(. Better luck next PLS :) – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:38 Jul 29, 2008
- Aw, but it said late entries could be submitted under certain conditions... ah well. Damn, though, only a half hour off. --mrmonkey72 00:40, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
PooLit entry still unlocked
Hi I left talk for Zombiebaron that my PLS entry User:LordWolf/What is a moot point was still unlocked, but he could be asleep - could you lock it please? It seems like an unfair advantage that I can still edit while others can't LordWolf 13:52, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
- Sorry, but I'm not an admin. (mentally adds another tick mark) – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:21 Jul 29, 2008
Retort!
Yeah sorry I had to leave our debate on IRC but now I have a comeback! What originally set Uncyc apart from www.lolololjokes.com was that we were a parody of Wikipedia or encyclopedic things in general. That is what makes us different, if it becomes another Broad Humo(u)r Website without that original purpose we risk losing that individuality (ED doesn't count BTW). Of course you could argue that we need to expand into new areas to find new writers and keep "original" as we may have taken on board most the users that are attracted by the original idea. We might need to do that, but we will also risk alienating experienced users (Shandon as seen today). --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent 12:07, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
- Yeah, the thing about encyclopedic tone? It gets old. I won't deny that that is how Uncyclopedia started, but if we're going to keep ourselves from being bored to death, we need to expand. Or rather, we did expand. In addition to articles, we have UnTunes, UnBooks, UnNews... luckily, there's lots of stuff in Wikimedia to parody. UnBooks is a parody of WikiSource. UnNews is a parody of WikiNews. UnTunes, while not a wiki parody, is a parody of iTunes and music today.
- As you can see, we've kept parodying all the way through. But, that doesn't mean encyclopedia articles aren't welcome, as they're still around today. Shandon's problem is that he expects people to be more knowledgeable than they are sometimes, and he doesn't understand that if you are going to write, you have to write to the audience, not complain about the audience's lack of knowledge. If your humor isn't accessible, well, you have no one to blame but yourself. You could blame society, of course, but that doesn't make your writing any funnier.
- In the course of branching out and expanding, we've never forgotten our encyclopedic (or unencyclopedic) roots. There's nothing for the old users to be turned away from - if they want encyclopedic articles, write them. You can't force people that are writing UnTunes to turn to article writing just because you think there should be more encyclopedia articles. Let people write what they want to, so long as it's parody, because that's the heart of the site.
- The other complaint I hear often is that if you try anything new, it won't pass VFH. Well, I haven't seen anyone actually try who's complained about this. Try something new. Take risks. What's the worst that could happen? You don't get a featured article? Man, if that's the only reason you're on the site - you're on the wrong site.
- Uncyclopedia is not "moving" in any direction, it's "growing". – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 16:32 Jul 30, 2008
I knew it
I knew you would be the first skull themed admin to ban me (btw, congratulations!!) • <1:44, 01 Aug 2008>
- Thanks! This is awesome! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 16:27 Aug 01, 2008
Congrats.
Gratz on the oppage. sir
sysrq @ 02:22 Aug 1
- Yeah congrats Fou-Lu 11:23, 1 August 2008 (UTC)
Tough luck.
Sucks on the oppage. Now you'll soon find out how it feels to be me. Real shame, dude.--
TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 
18:13, 1 August 2008 (UTC)
hey doc
firstly, congrats on being adminified. lastly, it's not that big of a deal, but the signpost didn't go out yesterday, and i can't find the dudeman. do you think you could persuade fnoodle to do some paper delivering? if not then no worries. 00:39, 2 August 2008 (UTC)
- Shit. Uh... maybe. Probably not. Fnoodle's been wacky ever since the last time I really used him (not counting the PLS templates getting sent out)... – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 04:31 Aug 02, 2008
- I'm still alive, and even responded to the message before you sent this one. I'm just lazy. Besides its not like this is the first time we've been late with the paper. This is UnSignpost we're talking about. Not the New York Times. Lieutenant THEDUDEMAN Dude ... Totally UOTM KUN GotA F@H 08:13, 2 August 2008 (UTC)
Nope, wasn't a joke vandalism
I really did vandalize your page with the intention of destroying you. Somehow you recovered: I must rethink my strategy. • <20:19, 02 Aug 2008>
Thanks for the Compliment
I thought it would be more polite if i responded on your talkpage, so thanks for the compliment. Unless it was an insult, in which case you'll make me cry. There's more on the way.--Altair 22:28, 2 August 2008 (UTC)
- More on the way? I'm positively tingling with excitement. What will you upload next? Zombies? Playing cards? News station logos? Porn? Goatse? Oh, the things you'll upload, the Google image searches you'll make, the hours spent trying to photoshop images that people will merely glance at as they read your articles. Think of all the wasted server space ahead of you! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:32 Aug 02, 2008
Think about it.
Think about what we talked about. =]
Also, hope you liked my music. Ciao. sirsysrq @ 22:59 Aug 2
- Think about? Dude, I'm trying to find a headset right now. I mean c'mon, this is how Adams got his start, isn't it? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:18 Aug 02, 2008
Hey, you... Yes, you.
................... .. ... /´ /)
.................... ..,../¯ ..//
.................... ..../... ./ /
.................... ..,/¯ ..//
.................... ./... ./ /
............./´¯/' ...'/´¯`•¸
........../'/.../... ./... ..../¨¯\
........('(...´(... ....... ,~/'...')
.........\.......... ..... ..\/..../
.............\.... ..... . _.•´
............\....... ..... ..(
..............\..... ..... ...\
What!?
Aside from repeating the above I'd also like to know why? And how long "a ghey" lasts... TKF blocked me too, do i suck that badly? SK Sir Orian57Talk 
RotM 19:49 3 August 2008
- "a ghey" lasts as long as you want it to. But no, there was no reason at all. Any expiry time that begins with "a " is invalid. Like the goggles - it does nothing. (Ironically, the Googles do everything.) – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:51 Aug 03, 2008
- I see, well TKF blocked me for five actual minutes! :( Wich severly damaged my self-esteem... Also, could you get Fnoodle to deliver last weeks UnSignpost? It's just there was talk on U.U's talk page that The Dudeman isn't around or something. Just thought I'd bring that up as no one else seems to have... Also, I'm loving The Frogs at the minute, about half way through, brilliant! SK Sir Orian57Talk
RotM 19:56 3 August 2008
- Well, TKF is a butt. And I mean that in the most loving way, TKF <3
- You likes The Frogs? Awesome. It's actually from my blog, where the next story in the series can be found too also. And fucking hell, Fnoodle is not operational at the moment. Get my other bot to do it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:59 Aug 03, 2008
- Yeah I've been intending to read your blog I just keep forgetting. I has one too well I have two but I've been working on this one more, kinda "proper" fiction, little stuck at the minute but oh well... And yeah. I'm going to go back to being a power ranger now. SK Sir Orian57Talk RotM 20:13 3 August 2008
- Yeah I've been intending to read your blog I just keep forgetting. I has one too well I have two but I've been working on this one more, kinda "proper" fiction, little stuck at the minute but oh well... And yeah. I'm going to go back to being a power ranger now. SK Sir Orian57Talk
- I see, well TKF blocked me for five actual minutes! :( Wich severly damaged my self-esteem... Also, could you get Fnoodle to deliver last weeks UnSignpost? It's just there was talk on U.U's talk page that The Dudeman isn't around or something. Just thought I'd bring that up as no one else seems to have... Also, I'm loving The Frogs at the minute, about half way through, brilliant! SK Sir Orian57Talk
UnSignpost: July 31st, 2008
Sucking Journalism's Fat Wang. Badly.
July 31st, 2008 • Lucky Thirteenth Issue • Now with 20% more ninjas!
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The biggest little whorehouse on the internet Oftentimes, Uncyclopedians choose to create something on their userpages, safe from the prying eyes and hungry 'delete' buttons of admins. These entities can range from the ridiculously complex to the awesomely cartoonish. The newest user creation on this silly wiki is that of a charming gentle-bot by the name of MrN9000. At 'The Whorehouse', writers can bathe in the attention they so desperately seek. A sort of hands-on Pee Review, the Whorehouse encourages other users to edit, trim, improve, rub up against, and generally increase the quality of the articles of others. Authors suffering from mental blocks (or physical blocks) can turn to this dimly lit establishment for inspiration. While considered a 'smashing' idea by some, the brothel has drawn its share of criticism. It may have even caused a site-wide questioning of the rules of VFH, guidelines of Pee Review, and the vailidity of the Committee That Selects Zombiebaron's Daily Banstick. The main concern seems to be articles getting 'mucked up' by having too many contributors. Opponents to this opinion have pointed out that this is a wiki, and, in theory, an infinite number of contributors contributing to an infinite number of articles for an infinite amount of time were eventually destined to create the Whorehouse, anyway. Some users, such as Ljlego, have taken advantage of the open space to hold some sort of charity-scamming orgy. Whatever the destiny of the Whorehouse, it is sure to catch every Uncyclopedian's attention for at the least five minutes immediately following the reading of this article.
Virus exposes user vulnerability to death Yes, it's true. Death is inevitable for all users who have logged in recently. Apparently, a rouge admin created a computer virus so potent you actually contract testicular cancer. Real cancer. Like, In real life. Seriously. And how does one contract the virus? Users are warned that that the simple act of logging in to Uncyclopedia will cause one to contract the fatal disease. "Yes, I know cancer isn't a disease nor a virus" said one doctor "but still, it sucks. I mean - it's cancer - IN YOUR BALLS. Come on." So how exactly does on know when they have cancer? Symptoms may include one or more of the following:
Make sure to constantly check your testicles by feeling them for irregularities with your fingers. ... That's right. ... Just feel 'em up ... nice ... Ahem! Uh... Simple vigilance is a big help. The best time to check is after a hot shower, when the scrotum is looser. And what of the female users? No, not even the three of them are safe. It has been proven that even female users can contract testicular cancer. How, you ask? Well, by a miracle of God, the female will grow testicles, that will then become "cancerfied" (or "cancer-ific", if you prefer.) The only users who are safe from this horrible plague are IP addresses, as they lack testes and the ability to grow any. Remember kids, no matter how much Dr. Health, Esq. tells you cancer is great, don't believe him. Oh? ... What's that? ... I said something about dying? ... Oh. ... Well, if one of your testicles was three times bigger than the other and your semen was filled with blood, would you not kill yourself? That's right... |
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| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||||||
THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 07:45, 5 August 2008 (UTC)
Whoa, this is weird, you redirecting me to logout
Skullthumper, I need your wikifu: Look at User:Cajek/Userpage. Is there a picture of poopy there near the bottom or am I blind again? • <2:35, 06 Aug 2008>
- I don't see it, but I'm guessing you're using IE. You see the poopy because IE fails. Miserably. You can correct this (sort of) by placing the following around your little scrolling awards box:
<span style="position:absolute;"> ...blah blah awards 'n' shit... </span>
- After that, get a real browser. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:38 Aug 06, 2008
- No way am I going to logout for you, and I bet the rest of that stuff was fake too! You are teh wurst! Thank you for teh wiki • <3:41, 06 Aug 2008>
Userpage
Stop beating on little kids. I actually *like* them. Love, (Yes, RAHB, that was for your benefit - and the fact that I sign everything with that. Asshat.)
press
hey skull, just wondering if you had any comment for the unsignpost as far as becoming an admin and your plans from this point onward. 19:45, 6 August 2008 (UTC)
- Well, I've been an admin for six days now. So far, I've killed CVP, CRP, and DPP, edited the sitenotice with two different messages, almost broken the site, and infinibanned Cajek. I'd say it's off to a decent start.
- My actual opping was quite a surprise. I think this is the first 3-person VFS we've had in quite a while, if I'm not mistaken. Thankfully, no one's caught onto that, and I haven't been deopped yet.
- In the meantime, I plan to make myself look useful by huffing articles, banning fails, and doing general maintenance work. And more importantly not fucking up the site. Too much. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:57 Aug 07, 2008
signpost
hey doc, me again (again). the dudebot is down and out for a while, any chance fnoodle is fixed and geared up for some paper-deliverin'? if not then don't worry about it, i might try some hand-delivery if i'm bored today. 15:54, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
- nevermind, i got bored faster than i thought. only took me about half an hour. at least my edit count and my slut list rank will go up! 16:49, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: August 7th, 2008
We're delivering it to your door anyways!
August 7th, 2008 • Fourteenth Issue • Just like Grandma used to make!
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Uncyclopedia Forum set to consume the Internet Top scientists at the Uncycloversity this week predicted that a Village Dump topic, started in June by prominent Uncylopedian and alchemist Spang, will one day consume the entire internet. According to the university's top expert, Dr. Skullthumper, Ph.D.: "This is one of those things that could go on forever. I mean, at least counting to a million has a definite ending. With this, there is no end, since everyone wants to be the last person to edit." Wikia staff member and Uncyclopedian Sannse predicts that the forum topic will take up all of Wikia's hardware by late 2009 and will then begin to "consume all around it, like I did that time I tried marijuana." She went on to add, "nothing will be safe – not even Wikipedia," before blessing herself and staring reverently at a statue of Jimmy Wales. Others, however, are more optimistic. According to Modusoperandi, "eventually someone will invent some sort of robot or hobgoblin to automatically edit the topic, and then it will have to be locked. Either that, or someone will figure out that there is no prize, rendering the whole thing pointless. And then I shall be the winner!" Spang was unavailable for comment because, according to his spokesperson, "he is busy in his cave dreaming up more crazy schemes to destroy the internet." Admins everywhere! If you're a wiki-troll, cyberbullying vandal or extremely crappy article, you'd better start watching your behind. Three new deputies were voted in by the Uncyclopedia Sheriff's Department: Dr. Skullthumper, RAHB, and Roman Dog Bird. The trio were bestowed this great honor last Friday by Codeine. This brings the total amount of active authority figures who could wallop you over the head with a banhammer to 29. The reason for the unusally high number of new sysops is that a clear consensus could not be reached, and also that all three of these individuals are "awesome". The new admins were extremely pleased and greatly honored by their new title. None of them wasted any time in executing their first sysop move (RAHB and Dr. Skullthumper banned Cajek; Roman Dog Bird deleted one hundred articles, then banned Cajek). The prescence of these new neighborhood patrollers was evident immediately, with QVFD being renamed "Skull and RAHB's House of Huffing", and placing {{VFD}} in an article now automatically classifying it as "Roman Dog Bird's bitch". The reactions from the new sysops were similar, with all three pledging to delete bad articles, ban unworthy knuckleheads, continue plans for world domination, and "try not to muck up the site too much". RAHB has set himself lofty goals, including "keeping it cool" and some wiki-related nonsense that this reporter didn't understand. Roman Dog Bird wished the readers of the Signpost to know that he said "something", and went on to add that he will continue to "clean crap up...only now with more power." Dr. Skullthumper is thankful that no one has caught on to the trio of new ops and expresses his optimism as far as not being immediately de-opped, but also listed several early accomplishments as well as future goals. With these three brave new souls now patrolling the corridors of this silly wiki, it is truly a dark time for terrible articles, merciless vandals, and Cajek. |
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| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | ||||||
Painstakingly hand-delivered by: 16:49, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
PLS categories
I started putting the PLS entries from past competitions in some categories. Then I realised that it was long and dull work. Would it be possible to get Fnoodle to do it? I don't know what that entails, so if it's too much work, let me know and I'll go back to doing it myself. Thanks. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 18:58, 12 August 2008 (UTC)
PLS Winners
I've taken the liberty of calculating the scores (see at the bottom). You may want to update the rest of the page and then commence PLS wrap-up (protect the winners page, put the winners page on PLS, change the Main Page template, notify sannse, start a Dump about who's going to run the next one, et cetera, et cetera). -- The Zombiebaron 15:12, 13 August 2008 (UTC)
- And I've taken the liberty of correcting ZB's maths on the best rewrite section - I think he missed Mickey getting 2 first place votes, not just one. Much as it pains me, I was deservedly beaten by a bloody good rewrite... --UU - natter
15:27, Aug 13 - othx. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 00:48 Aug 14, 2008
Whining!
Why the Hell did you delete that!!! I was working on I knew it was copied and pasted but I changed it. Its not like i had just took something from uncyclpedia and said it was mine. I bassically changed the whole thing. Please reply back to me. --Halsoft 05:50, 14 August 2008 (UTC)Halsoft
- Copied, pasted, and changed doesn't make it original. To begin with, you left too much of the formatting in. I saw lots of "[edit]" things that shouldn't be there, for example. Secondly, would a teacher accept something that you copied, pasted, and changed a bit? No. Neither would we. Originality, or GTFO, please.
- If you think your article has any promise, I can restore it to your userspace and you can work on it there. But starting out as a copy/paste is almost certainly not the way to write something. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 05:58 Aug 14, 2008
Response: Thank you for responding to me so quickly! I am glad that you could give me an honest anser and not some BS. I will no longer copy and paste!!!
Me again!! I was wondering if you would look at Link legend of Zelda and tell me your opinion of it!!! --Halsoft 04:24, 17 August 2008 (UTC)Halsoft
- Hey, it looks like you've been working hard on your articles. If you want an in-depth opinion of them, take a look here. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:55 Aug 17, 2008
Thank thee for feeding thy ego
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Prettiestpretty thanks thee for finding her image of |
Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 17:56, 15 August 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: August 14th, 2008
The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!
August 14th, 2008 • Fifteenth Issue • May contain traces of humor
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Uncyclopedia kidnapped!  In a shocking development, a brazen individual absconded with Uncyclopedia just over a week ago. Users were shocked when their attempts to access the site between 18:33 and 20:07 UTC on August 4th resulted in a sinister message being displayed, promising the swift return of the wiki should the kidnapper's demands be met. Panic ensued, with several Uncyclopedians wandering off to places unknown, never to return. Once the site was restored and the intertubes reconnected, the identity of the culprit was obvious: Orian57 had made the last edit before the ninety-minute gap, with the ominous and puzzling edit summary of "I AM STEALING UNCYCLOPEDIA!!!" The site itself seemed to be mostly fine after its harrowing ordeal, with the exception of VFP, which turned all of Zombiebaron's against votes into ten for votes during the first few hours back. This reporter caught up to Orian57, and had the opportunity to talk with him at some length about the reasons for the abduction. After consulting with his lawyer, Orian agreed to comment on the situation. On why he stole the wiki, he said, "my motivation for this cyber-terrorism wasn't something trite like 'because I could' or 'it wasn't me'. No. It was because nobody was paying me any attention!" It seems that Orian, in a desperate bid for attention, locked the Uncyclopedia server in a basement, and attempted to edit it so that all content referred to him. Perhaps his subconcious got the better of him, or perhaps the spirit of Sophia came to Uncyclopedia's rescue. In any case, Orian claims he heard a female voice speaking to him, which convinced him to return the server and allow "uncyclopedians around the world to stop masturbating and return to peeling potatoes or whatever they do." Some sort of competition finishes
So as you may have noticed, recently a contest of titanic proportions has been gripping the world like no other event. Palms have been sweaty, nails have been chewed, bribes, threats, and allegations of stimulant abuse have been rife. But now, the latest incarnation of the Poo Lit Surprise has drawn to a close, and so our attention can drift to that bunch of steroid-enhanced nutters at the Olympics. Finally, the questions on everyone's lips have been answered. Providing they were related to the Poo Lit Surprise, and who was going to win. Other questions, unfortunately, remain unanswered. However, if you do want to know who won, and haven't found out already, you can find out here. We could just tell you here, but where's the fun in that? We should, however, point out that if you haven't seen all of the articles yet, there are some real crackers amongst them, and not just the winners either - which probably reflects well on the Uncyclopedia Community as a whole, although it may just hint that everyone saved their best articles for this one small period of time and now has nothing else to offer for another 6 months. We'll see, but in the meantime, have a look at all the entries - there should be chuckles on offer whatever your sense of humo(u)r! |
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| UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox | |||||||
Join the UnOrder Today!
| Join the Holy UnOrder of Uncylopedia today! |
   
|
| At the UnOrder, you can give yourself all of those rankings you |
ever wanted! GUN (#1UN), KUN (♂UN), DUN (♀UN), and CUN (CUN )!
|
| Awards include: |
| Weiner of the Month (UWotM), B00b of the Month (BotM), and |
| Recyclopedian of the Month (RCotM)! |
| So, join the UnOrder today, and become a member of |
| the least known group on Uncyclopedia! |
YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!
Work your linking magic on Why?:So Serious pretty please? TLB did a fine job so far, but it'd be awesome if it was Skullthumper good, too. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 01:45, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
- ANSWER YOU SKULLSHMUCK >:| --
TKFU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 
22:58, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
Hey Me Again
Hey Me again --Halsoft 07:24, 17 August 2008 (UTC) wanted your imput on Everyting Zelda page.
Ve Lof Sleepknot
Why the hell is the slipknot page locked? I was hoping to make some funny shit! – Preceding unsigned comment added by Teh doctor (talk • contribs)
- Sadly, lots and lots of people went to that page in the hopes of writing some funny shit, but it turned out to be shit without the funny, and got deleted. This happened so often that the admins decided to cut out the middleman and just protect the deleted page. We have a few pages like this. If you want to make a Slipknot page, do it in your userspace, plz. Then get a pee review and ask an admin to move it into the mainspace once it's good enough. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 13:37 Aug 18, 2008
more musicdropping
hey skull, further issues regarding that VFD thing. it seems that the deleted page in question had nearly a dozen subpages, which were all songdropping (like this one), or even empty (like this one). i guess these get deleted also; should i list them on QVFD or can you take care of it? (i found them using the prefix index). also, there are also other pages relating to the band (such as this); what's the best way to go about dealing with it? 14:22, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
- Driveby: The article got moved to the user's space, so possibly shift the subpages there as well? --UU - natter 14:35, Aug 18
- Userspace. Userspace it ALL! (insane laughter) But seriously. The main article got deleted, so I don't think a VFD is necessary for the other, shorter pages, most of which would be QVFD fodder if they were created in main-mainspace, not sub-mainspace. So yeah... moving them to userspace would be the best of solutions. VFD the other related pages that aren't subpages. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:52 Aug 18, 2008
- I done did the userspace moves of the subpages, since there's a restriction on how many pagemoves you can do at once unless you're a bot or an admin. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 16:02 Aug 18, 2008
You might be needing these...
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You are not pants MrN9000 could not help but notice that you are not pants. As such, you have been awarded the Titanium Trousers by way of recognition. Any suggestion that this is a pants award will be treated accordingly... |
For the balls and such... MrN 22:56, Aug 18
Encyclopedia Parodia
I have a wiki and i seek alliance with uncyclopedia to go to war with encyclopedia dramatica. i need more users and stuff like that. i also need to write help and howto pages. any help will be greatly appreciated! Encyclopedia Parodia! --StreetSurfer 23:09, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
- No. Uncyclopedia has never been at war with Encyclopedia Dramatica, Uncyclopedia has always been at war with Wookiepedia. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 23:11, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
- Why would we "go to war" with a site that sucks balls, exactly? Maybe if it was any kind of competition at all. However, it would break one of our core policies, UN:N. By the way, Uncyclopedia is an encyclopedia of all kinds of humor, which includes parody. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:12 Aug 18, 2008
- Nevermind. But still, does anyone want to help me on that? not th war thing to help me get it off the ground? please? --StreetSurfer 17:45, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
- Well, what exactly is the purpose of an encyclopedia of parody when one already exists? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:47 Aug 19, 2008
- People can help write articles! i dont know. I wanted advice and help from professional people.--StreetSurfer 05:54, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
- My advice/help on starting a wiki: Find a niche and fill it. Uncyclopedia already fills the humor niche quite well, in mostly all forms. Other than that, you might want to talk to people in Wikia who actually know what they're doing for further advice on starting one. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:28 Aug 20, 2008
- People can help write articles! i dont know. I wanted advice and help from professional people.--StreetSurfer 05:54, 20 August 2008 (UTC)
- Well, what exactly is the purpose of an encyclopedia of parody when one already exists? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:47 Aug 19, 2008
Hyperbole's Ban
What the fuck Skullthumper? Hyperbole is a drama queen no better than NXWave, he deserves to stay banned forever. It doesn't matter anyway, since a single day ban was enough to scare the pussy off. I have half a mind to ban you too, little adoptee. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 02:50, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
- Look, to you and me, bans are no big deal. To some users, it's like... the first bad mark on their permanent record. I admit Hyberbole's being a bit overdramatic about it, but it's possible he just doesn't understand that bans mean next to nothing on a site like this. Just because he's overreacting a bit doesn't give you an excuse to drama it up by infinibanning him. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:52 Aug 19, 2008
- Well, this site is for funny people with senses of humor who can take a joke and stand a little bullshit when bullshit makes lemons out of their lemonade. If we're unbanning Hyperbole on your logic, I might as well go ahead an unban Manforman. You know, for an admin, you are one short-sighted motherfucker. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 02:57, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
- How come nobody's thought to block Cajek in the midst of all this??? <03:01, 19 August 2008 (UTC)>
- The problem is, sometimes people don't understand the bullshit is just bullshit and can get their feelings hurt because they don't feel like being bullshitted around with which is now totally a phrase. Hyberbole's not like Manonman or NXGay because he's not causing drama, he just left a blank userpage and went away, no forum topic or nothin'. We seriously hurt him, man, and that wasn't your intention I don't think. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:03 Aug 19, 2008
- Well, this site is for funny people with senses of humor who can take a joke and stand a little bullshit when bullshit makes lemons out of their lemonade. If we're unbanning Hyperbole on your logic, I might as well go ahead an unban Manforman. You know, for an admin, you are one short-sighted motherfucker. --
- 24 articles including 7 features... is this the kind of person we want to be scaring away now? I thought we needed more people who could write articles. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 03:19, 19 Aug 2008
Abstain. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 05:27 Aug 19, 2008
FU SPANG That kid ran off on his own accord after a fucking one day ban, he deserves to be shooed off forever. -- TKFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK 05:30, 19 August 2008 (UTC)
- Oh, ok. I thought it was how good someone's articles are that decides whether someone has a sense of humour or not. Turns out it's all to do with whether they can take a ban without complaining. Established contributors who write good articles but don't like being banned are definitely the kind of people that need infinite bans in that case. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 23:56, 19 Aug 2008
Abstain. 
FU SPANG That kid ran off on his own accord after a fucking one day ban, he deserves to be shooed off forever. --- At the risk of showing up really late to the discussion... let's look at a couple possible outcomes. If Hype storms off because he got banned, he might come back, after he cools off, with a better perspective. Or, if he winds up permabanned, he might try to come back, and can't. Now he hates us more, and we lose another great writer. Alternatively, if he just doesn't come back, then a permaban is completely unnecessary. So...yeah. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:33, Aug 19
- God, you're late. Also, turtles. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 17:36 Aug 19, 2008
- Fuck you. You got me all excited upon seeing that "new messages" banner, and I practically raced to my talkpage to see what my new, shiny message was. Turns out it was just you putting a comma in a comment you already left. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:45 Aug 20, 2008
- 42 BANS AND I'M STILL HERE WITH YOU FUCKERS!!!!! WOOT!! /me pumps fist in air, hoots and hollers • <3:15, 20 Aug 2008>
- I probably don't have a voice here, but meh. I honestly really doubt he's coming back. Why? Because when you look at the way he left Wikipedia (never went back, too, invoked right to vanish and everything), it was for what he felt to be admins bullying him (read some of these diffs). Now, this has (according to him) happened again with the TKF block (and remember, he has prior history with TKF over that review thing). It just wouldn't shock me if he's doing the same thing again (I use too many brackets). Meh, just my two cents. ―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 20/08 09:56
- I spoke'd to him and explained the fact that admins don't actually bully users half the time, it's more an act than anything else, unlike Wikipedia where they're deadly serious. I also explained the Pee Review thing. I also also informed him that TKF is a dick, but I thought that was common knowledge already. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:25 Aug 20, 2008
- The perception of bullying from Admins is debatable I'm sure, and the accusation in some cases is probably a fair assessment. I can probably put together a substatial list of people who feel that I have driven them away from the site, regardless any motive I may have or not. The problem is that we are a community, whether we like that or not, and within any community there will be personality clashes and differing opinions on what is best for the site and how to behave. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that the names we are banning are actually real people, and the work that we are deleting is something that they feel they have put a lot of effort into. Perhaps it would help if all the Admins had a second secret account that they could try editing the site like everyone else has to it would help to keep us humble and hopefully enable us to treat others as we would have them treat us. Just a thought.... -- Sir Mhaille
(talk to me)
- Funny how you say that, after you QDb a legit complaint about an issue I feel strongly about. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 16:32 Aug 20, 2008
- The perception of bullying from Admins is debatable I'm sure, and the accusation in some cases is probably a fair assessment. I can probably put together a substatial list of people who feel that I have driven them away from the site, regardless any motive I may have or not. The problem is that we are a community, whether we like that or not, and within any community there will be personality clashes and differing opinions on what is best for the site and how to behave. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that the names we are banning are actually real people, and the work that we are deleting is something that they feel they have put a lot of effort into. Perhaps it would help if all the Admins had a second secret account that they could try editing the site like everyone else has to it would help to keep us humble and hopefully enable us to treat others as we would have them treat us. Just a thought.... -- Sir Mhaille
hi
You have an ally in me --Chii 04:53, 22 August 2008 (UTC)