User talk:Dr. Skullthumper/Archive 7

Talk Archives

Chapter Eleven The end times

Chapter Ten In which our hero builds bots • Another n00b enters the stage • Contests, hourly • The fine art of spamfiltering • Little orphan images • A lost connection • An alternative is presented • Trolling, How To • A conspiracy of signatures • Machines in the hands of idiots • Mistaken for a n00b, by a n00b • Guts, hating thereof • Button difficulties • An April 1st prank • "That time I got banned by an admin during my sojourn on another admin's talk page" • A miscount • Just punishment for the use of antiquated browsers • A fool's lament • The one-second window • Power, abuse of • A cry for HALP • The sunglasses ritual • People to ignore • A premonition • Eæster • Intensive care • Defrosting • Suspenders, sexiness of • Three thousand • The magician • A stuck-up conversation about elitism • A muddled vote • A whiny conversation about whining • Suddenly, parties • The party is stopped • The party resumes • A monumental mistake • Twelve proxies, no waiting • A Discworld discussion, brief • Protection en masse • Portals, thinking with • The broken box • Trolls trolling trolls trolling etc. • The un-return • A broken system

Chapter Nine Hourly writing contest • A mercy kill and a mercy move • The misinterpreted pinky • The final destruction of UnSkype • Community service and convenience stores • Gobshite • The Records of Amadeus Skullthumper • The legacy of Fnoodle lives on

Chapter Eight Dicks, lack thereof • Administrators Anonymous • In search of a missing user • Echoes of old • An unheard request • Survival • Mistaken for colonization • Putting the stamp on drama • Another apology, and romantic foreshadowing • The screams of Twitter

The Unarchived The plot behind UnSkype • The Great Talkpage Merge • The Undoing

Chapter Six No, of course it wasn't the end, you dipwads • FU SPANG • Frogs in hell • The doctor messes up again • Psychological thrillers • Yellow banners • Dollar signs, placement thereof • Hovercars and bribes • Penis! • Fnoodle returns • e|m|c goes missing • Flaming bags of feces • L • Turnips • The doctor messes with amphibians • A surprise feature, and inspiration • The doctor plots • "I'm not an admin" • "I am an admin" • Congratulations and sympathy • The plot thickens • Charitwo gives the finger • Ethine • A romp through Yahoo! Answers • Whining • Titanium Trousers and other defense • Encyclopedia Parodia • TKF and Skullthumper battle it out in a round of the world's worst acting • The final straw

Chapter Five In which our hero's talk page virginity is taken • Partially pregnant • The weaknesses of ninjas • Uncyclopedia At-A-Glance • A drug dealer on the doctor's talk page • Clever and innovative • Furbies, burning of • Nosy • XHTML fairies • A new sig is born and shot down • The doctor pisses off the entire site • The Great American Novel • "You've got the wrong doctor" • Zombiebaron makes a point • Creating a creature • Our hero is welcomed, again • "teh" and "the" • A survivor from the ICU • Enzo Aquarius can't spell • Fnoodle is never wrong • Starting the presses • The UnSignpost, issue #1 • Keen! • The ways of Wikia • Spang likes pi • Too Long; Didn't Read: The Movie • Jars of dirt, possession thereof • The return of Kip the Dip • Identity theft • The entire site pisses off the doctor • Advice from the most unlikely of sources • Better things to do • The End?

Chapter Four In which our hero sticks his finger in an electrical socket • Fat Americans • Zombiebaron, Jr. • Slightly drunk • Season's Greetings, part II • Running through the halls of Uncyclopedia • Mordillo is angered • A cryptic message • Knighthood • Finnius joins in the fray • If you give a doctor a cookie • A last-ditch attempt at passing first semester classes • A heart in the wrong place • Asses on fire • Slightly off • Rivalry • The doctor drifts away • Lent • The massive return • Greetings from Texas • The evolution of hole punching and other stupid ideas • Invasion of the robots • Signatures once again • And again • My Mother the Car • The doctor sets a trend • Promotion

Chapter Three In which our hero runs a red light • Skateboarding • Mysterious maths of VFH • Time travel • A very brief discussion on being an administrator • The laziness of admins • Captain Random • The tragedy of Nerd42 • A suspicious noob • Signatures, part sixteen and a half • Ljlego returns • An apology • Fighting vandalism without admins • Dead baby jokes, originality thereof • Cajek bursts in unexpectedly • The Epic Saga of Francis Winkler • The other doctor • "Jesus didn't have a talkpage" • How to become an administrator in one easy step • Homosexuality • More of the Epic Saga of Francis Winkler • Season's Greetings, part I • Dr. Skullthumper is no asshat • Banned!

Chapter Two In which our hero discusses Terry Pratchett • Communism strikes • An accidental revert • Thanked for peeing • A grateful gobshite • Sorts of things you shan't do to children • The matter of signatures returns • Penis removal • Crime and Cajek • Span tags • Robots and javascript • A literary debate concluded with a ban • A user questions the communications system • The wondrous lands of QVFD • The metaphorical wall • Psychic powers, crystal balls, and the Firefox debate • Welcomed into UnNews • The sixty-eighth reason why Wikia sucks • Signatures return for an encore • Olipro • A whore • A noob • A template that, while not top-quality, is better than Ljlego's • Mysterious disappearance • A discussion on the word "previously" • Confused for an administrator • A noob whore • Under construction • Mozart will be Bach

---

Toodles.

Wow, Olipro of all people is making you quit? I thought you a bigger man, "Skullthumper" -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 05:29, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

What I find hard to believe is that you are willing to give up on a years work on a humour website over a joke. Irony, or what? Are you Nintendorulez in disguise? ;) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

This is Olipro we're talking about, right? (from the alternate audio track on the DVD of Unforgiven)

"I'm Olipro and I've buggered women and children. I've buggered everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to bugger you, Little Bill, for what you done to Ned."

Don't ask me how I discovered this hidden track. It's a shame that I plan to carry to my grave. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:19, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

awww! aw, awwwwwww! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:05, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

I wouldn't like to think I made you leave over the fact you fancy another Uncyc user who you never met, but equally, if you take me that seriously you probably need to take some time out to mature "like a piece of stilton" -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:14, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Or perhaps, you need to realize when to stop. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 16:26 Aug 22, 2008

It's done, I've stopped, see the VD. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 16:47, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 21st, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Contains Neither News Nor Paper.

August 21^st, 2008 • Issue Sixteen • The periodical without any junk in its trunk

And the award for Sluttiest User goes to... By Gerrycheevers ...Mhaille! With over fifteen thousand links to his userpage strewn willy-nilly about Uncyclopedia, Mhaille takes home the Slutty for the sixth consecutive time. Everyone's favorite moustachioed chappie overtook Codeine in early 2007 and never looked back. When asked about this momentous achievement, Mhaille was still in shock from the victory. "I'd like to give thanks to my mother and my father, for first taking me into the family business. Without their years of experience and their guidance I would not have become the Slut I am today," he said. "It is for them that I hope to make it a seventh title!" Coming in at second on the list was the legendary Benson. Despite having only twenty edits in the past year, Benson has managed to rack up over twelve thousand links to his userpage. He still enjoys a several thousand link lead over slut number three, Thekillerfroggy. When asked how Benson managed to not only maintain his lead, but actually increase it, TKF said, "A wizard did it." In-depth investigation by this reporter revealed that Froggy's signature may have something to do with it, as random selection feature will occasionally cause TKF's sig to spam dozens of links to Benson's userpage, mostly in Dr. Skullthumper's userspace. UnSignpost gets new paper-boy by An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays Uncyclopedia's semi-official newspaper, enjoyed by literally several readers each week, has hired a brand new paper boy. This individual has been delivering the UnSignpost for the past two weeks. This cost cutting measure was announced after the guy with the keys to the delivery robots disappeared, taking the keys, several thousand dollars in cash, and a stapler with him. Unconfirmed rumours made up by me suggest that he intends to staple the money to the keys before turning the stapler on himself. The paper boy, who calls himself Gerrycheevers, says that it is a tough job, but he is glad to be able to contribute something. "It's a tough job," he told UnSignpost reporters "but I am glad to be able to contribute something." The young paper boy is saving up his pocket money to buy a new frisbee. The mammoth task has taken its toll on young Mr. Cheevers, leaving him with severe wrist pain and an acute hatred of humanity. "It totally messed up my wrists. I was out of action for days!" he said. Most Uncyclopedians are said to be happy with the new service, saying that they prefer the more personal touch that comes with human delivery. "Those damn robots trampled my garden, broke down my door and killed my dog with their death-rays" said one unfortunate Uncyclopedian. In a related story, Gerrycheevers has been 'throttled' from such activites as moving pages and making mass edits. His repetitive edits have apparently pissed off at least one admin, and Gerry is now limited to one edit per four hours. He has used these edits carefully, and has managed to find a new paperbot. This week, the UnSignpost will be delivered by MantiBot. Subscribers can only hope the new delivery system works out, or the UnSignpost may be doomed.

Check out these pages! Testify! Taking the community down a peg Stop the madness! Think of the children! Etc.! From our logs: 16:52, 17 August 2008 Zombiebaron (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.212.136.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You are now officially really hated on Uncyclopedia. Congratulations.) 21:30, 16 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.220.124.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month, 2 days, 3 hours, 4 minutes, 5 seconds ‎ (Blanking a featured article? No mercy.) 06:19, 16 August 2008 Spang (Talk | contribs) blocked 121.72.7.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Go and write some bad poetry or something) 10:51, 20 August 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked Nmeallin (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (We regret to inform you that Chuck Norris does not approve of page blanking.) Biopic of the Week RAHB ~ One of the most (if not the most) decorated Uncyclopedians ever, RAHB is one of those guys who seems to be everywhere. Whether it's writing awesome stuff, taking care of crap, or banging out narrations, you can always count on this guy to be lurking somewhere in the bowels of Uncyclopedia, toiling away at his next project. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Being grateful this week could result in improved relationships. Being grating this week could result in cheese fragments that will melt easily over nachos. see more horoscopes VFD Survivor of the week "One man touches the other/it's incest cus were all brothers/you may say its wrong/well its the touch eachother song" Pithy VFH Comment of the Week Meh. I liked the conversation bit, but the rest is pretty bland. Skull tells me he wrote it for a girl or something. And he admits himself that it isn't very good. Well, I wouldn't feature it anyways. Oh yeah, and everything you write is shit, Skull. Everything! Shit, shit, shit! Now start writing something funny, you SHITTY WRITER! Shit shit shit! SHIT!!! - RAHB (Unfomercials:Inspirigun)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

— MantiBot Owner 12:12, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Uh

Please don't leave on account of one person. It's so easy to just ignore that person. A lot of people on here are dicks, but for every one of those people, there's 2 people who aren't dicks. And that makes, like 38 people at least who aren't dicks...and...um...kinda forgot what I was sayin'. Oh yeah. Dicks. Anyway, like...don't go. Or whatever. Heck no techno | chitchat | stuff.. 19:36, 22 August 2008 (UTC)

Anyway...

I brought a picture of some sausages. Hope you like them.

MrN 19:59, Aug 22

Hey, look at this!

Isn't he so cute?

Look at the adorable puppy. He wants you to come back. His eyes cry for your return. How can you possibly say no to him?

Observe his lonely gaze. Surely, it is a gaze of sadness that can only be remedied by the return of the one who has possession of him; the one whose talk page currently hosts his image and likeness.

Despite the loss, he still maintains an ever so slight smile in hope that one may finally return to properly care for him. He needs a doctor to make sure that he is healthy and can become a full, adult dog. He needs someone of power to maintain a watchful eye over him. He may also be some sort of allegory for this site, but let's ignore that, and carefully see him, sitting there, waiting for you.

How could you deny him of that? --Mr. Monkey Pant-hoot here. 15:21, 23 August 2008 (UTC)

Now look at this!

GO EAT SHIT FUCKERS.

Doesn't that make you feel all warm inside? -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Darling

Skully, it's all over now, the whole thread is gone, your request for me to stop victimising you is granted, and even better; nobody is paying any more attention to you and the original "joke" that upset you... suffice to say that your grievance has essentially been destroyed.

Your Move. -- Prof. Olipro KUN (W)Anchor Op Bur. (Harass) 23:19, 23 August 2008 (UTC)

UnSignpost: August 28th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!

August 28^th, 2008 • SEVENTEENTH ISSUE SPECTACULAR • Word to your mother

Porn Wars End in Sticky Truce By Regret Tenenbaum At exactly 10:28 pm (UTC), Sir Led Balloon did the honors of emblazoning a golden '1000' in the count to a million project, a true milestone on the journey to seven-digit greatness. Another user celebrated by gracing the page with an unprecedented one-thousand-and-one pixel high "1001", which was quickly taken down. The user was, needless to say, embarrassed, yet happy that the uncouth horde of devoted Uncyclopedians had finally reached the number 1000, as such a milestone had not been reached since the number 100 and the end of the Porn Wars. On that note, the Porn Wars ended earlier this week with a tentative truce between Commander Jailbait and General Pervert. The war began the week before, when Regret posted a pin-up girl to balance Orian's photo of a scantily-clad male, claiming he was "bringing balance back to the universe." Regret also stated he would "fight to the death"... or at least until Leddy stepped in, this time to call a "three-pornstuffs rule", which eventually ended the erotic feud. Meth, a constant editor on the forum, said "'twas a fortunate day for all under 18." Still, even with peace returning to the forum, not all is well in the land of counting. On the subject of reaching 1000, one dissenting user said: "Perhaps we should seriously consider stopping there. I mean that would be 1/1000 of the goal! Imagine doing this whole thing, 1000 times. That would mean 3000 archives, give or take." To which another user responded, "unfortunately for you, Nobody cares." Nevertheless, as long as there are users with nothing better to do, the Forum will always trudge on, giving Uncyclopedians something with which to kill thirty seconds, and also giving UnSignpost reporters something to write about. Lack of cure for testicular cancer kills 100 Uncyc members By Methamphetamine Uncycloversity members are still failing to find a cure for our previously mentioned testicular cancer, and to date, 100 people have died of said cancer. When nobody died, some user said it was a rumor made by some other user to piss us all off, right before clutching his balls in pain and dropping dead. Within an hour, about 16 more people died a cancer-related death. A live update shows that 105 users are now dead. You could be next! Don't panic, that'll make you die faster. Regret Tenenbaum, the user who originally warned of the disease, had this to say: "I TOLD YOU SO!" to which he added "Na-nanana-nanana!" The death toll is expected to reach into the thousands, with no end in sight. A memorial was set up earlier today to remember the dead, with one number added for every fallen Uncyclopedian. With fear and panic filling the hearts of users everywhere, there is one question that is on everyone's mind: "WHY GOD, WHY?!" Another live update show that 200 people have now died, and out of those, 10 people killed themselves in anxiety. Remember to always feel your testicles with your fingers. That's right. It helps prevent the cancer from reproducing.

Check out these pages! VOTE VOTE VOT Everyone tell Cajek what they've been up to Who is the man behind Uncyc's curtain? The truth about wikia's staff! From our logs: 05:22, 20 August 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 12.219.249.248 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 days, 14 hours, 15 minutes, 93 seconds ‎ (Blanking Africa does not make it go away.) 20:45, 24 August 2008 Olipro (Talk | contribs) blocked Norwich (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (and you're an annoying cuntfluff) 09:39, 26 August 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked 93.190.63.2 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (o hai, no blank plz. kthxbai.) 00:41, 27 August 2008 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) huffed My balls (content was: 'Sweaty and hot.') Biopic of the Week TheLedBalloon - Feature machine and Star Wars aficionado, Uncyc's resident hockey expert has come a long way from his humble beginnings. Seeming to appear on talk pages where there is conflict brewing as if there was some giant balloon signal silhoutted against the clouds, Led's recent oppage ensures that he has the tools to keep Uncyc as most excellent as possible. Old-school featured article of the week Five-time World RiskTM Champion Napoleon Bonaparte was a man of great stature. He enjoyed many military victories, revolutionizing armed combat. He rose to the rank of Emperor, and came closer than any diabolical supervillian has (before or since) to conquering the world. Unfortunately, nobody took him seriously because he was short. This Week's Horoscopes NOW UPDATED FOR WEEK OF 8/25/08 Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - Think long and hard before misdirection-linking to the Uncyclopedia article on Penis, as it could result in stiff competition between you and other members of your unit. see more horoscopes

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

–—Hv (talk) 30/08 19:58

WTH

Why won't you let the Runescape page be created? Ldude893 09:41, 1 September 2008 (UTC)

Because nobody seems able to create a page there that doesn't suck. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 17:54, Sep 1

A runescape page would be funny as heck... you should unblock it. -- Someone too lazy to sign up

Get an account and write it in your userspace to prove to me that it would be "funny as heck," as you say. Otherwise, no. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 02:57 Sep 02, 2008

There is no reason why you should block it. Ldude893 04:40, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Yes there is. Pretty much every blocked page here is blocked for one reason: people keep on creating crap versions of it. We don't arbitrarily decide to block pages to piss people off. Well, not that often. So create the article in your userspace here and prove that you are finally bestowing on us a funny article to fill that page, and the admins will then unblock the page and shift it in there. Simple. Good luck! --UU - natter 07:12, Sep 3

Give me access to the older versions so I can see why it's locked Ldude893 11:27, 4 September 2008 (UTC)

I'd love to restore all 2,053 deleted edits just for you. Absolutely love to. Except my DSL is broken, and I'm stuck on dialup, which I'll have to be off of in a few minutes. So, no. Suffice to say all of the old revisions failed HTBFANJS. Read that, then write. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:55 Sep 04, 2008

........

........

Well? Ldude893 01:35, 8 September 2008 (UTC)

Well what? Did you write a funny version yet? If not, get to it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:55 Sep 08, 2008

........

........

WELL?!?   Le Cejak • <2:18, 08 Sep 2008>

You never give a chance for articles to live, do you.Ldude893 11:26, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

What part of "Do it in your userspace" is so hard to understand? Listen, let me explain why it got deleted. Uncyclopedia has a whole bunch of titles that are protected for one reason or another. This system of protected titles was first CVP - where the titles were created with a redirect to the CVP page and protected - then DPP - where the titles were included in a cascading protected page. The newest method involves protecting those titles directly. When I was first admin'd, I took on the large task of getting all of the CVP pages and DPP pages protected directly. If you look at the history of the article Runescape, you'll notice it is indeed one of these CVP'd pages. Therefore, it should not exist, and the page should be protected. I deleted the article because of this. I didn't see that you added anything beyond what you had in your userspace, but if you need it back to work on I'll be more than happy to restore it to your userspace. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:06 Sep 13, 2008

Slipknot?????

WHy is the page on Slipknot locked? I had some seriously funny ideas cooked up in my head.

Slipknot?????

Why is the Slipknot page locked? My Russian/Australian compatriots and I have some very funny ideas going... – Preceding unsigned comment added by Teh doctor (talk • contribs)

See that bit above this? The one titled WTH? Read it, replacing the word "Runescape" with "Slipknot". Voila! --UU - natter 07:05, Sep 4

Write an article in your userspace, then. Also, what Under user said. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:57 Sep 04, 2008

User:Teh doctor/Slipknot. There! Done! happy? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Teh doctor (talk • contribs)

Mainspaced. Also, sign your friggin' posts. If you want some advice on how to make it betterer, check out UN:PR, but you've actually made a page that's not QVFD or VFD fodder on Slipknot! Congratulations sir! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 16:56 Sep 14, 2008

UnSignpost: September 4th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

All your readers are belong to us

September 4th, 2008 • Eighteenth Issue • STOP!! SIGNPOST TIME!!

Uncyclopedia copies Conservapedia By Gerrycheevers Recently, on the fact-based no-spin-zone wiki known as Conservapedia, there has been debate raging over whether to ban all atheists from contributing. Apparently conservapedians believe atheists (those who deny the existence of the creator) to be at the very least a hinderance, and at the very most a hideous group of venom-spitting demon-eyed savages who feed on the blood of children. If this motion garners enough support it may become a 'Conservapedia Commandment', along with 'no girls allowed' and 'slow down, this is a neighborhood.' Mild amusement and complete apathy were rampant among Uncyclopedians yesterday. Some poked fun at the silly conservatives for proposing such a Nazi-esque measure. Others took up the reigns in a new thread: should atheists (of Cthulhu) be barred from Uncyclopedia? It seems support for this action is widespread, and soon 'Cthulhu tests' will be administered to random users at random times. Failure of such tests will result in soul consumption. User Heerenveen had this to say: "I believe that it shouldn't matter whether you are an avid worshipper of Cthulhu, just someone who pretends to like Cthulhu to fit in with your mates, or indeed a foaming-at-the-crotch atheist (of Cthulhu), you should be infinibanned from Uncyc regardless. Unless, of course, you are Cajek," to which Orian57 added, "Richard Dawkins is so sexy." As is the norm here on Uncyclopedia, the controversy was immediately parodied, and then the parody of the controversy was summarily parodied. It has yet to be seen whether the parody of the parody will in fact be parodied. Movie Trailer Announcer Guy Dead at 68 By Gerrycheevers IN A WORLD where JUSTICE is a distant memory...where HOPE seems desperately out of reach...where THROATY BARITONES are hard to come by... ...ONE MAN performed voice-overs for OVER NINETY FOUR THOUSAND FILMS. His DEEPLY SONOROUS VOICE could turn even the most BORING movie into AN ALL-OUT THRILLER... ...Most famously known for THAT GEICO COMMERCIAL HE DID, that man's NAME was DON LAFONTAINE. Critics hailed him as 'THAT MOVIE TRAILER ANNOUNCER GUY' and 'THE DUDE WITH THE CRAZY VOICE'... ...On Monday, LaFontaine PASSED AWAY suddenly when a FIERY EXPLOSION in a SHRAPNEL FACTORY caused the TURBO-CHARGED SPORTSCAR in which he was being pursued by MONGOL HORDES to CAREEN OVER A CLIFF. He was 68...

Check out these pages! Another user says goodbye CENSORED Unflinchingly rigid vanity guidlines to take effect immediately From our logs: 07:32, 29 August 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.174.41 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Blanking is uncreative, feeble-minded, and scientifically proven to be evidence of underdeveloped genitalia.) 20:57, 31 August 2008 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 81.109.95.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Go masturbate somewhere else.) 03:32, 2 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.59.31.226 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Exemplary douchehattery.) Biopic of the Week 15Mickey20, Uncyc's resident tennis analyst, has won virtually every writing award and competition in existence on the entire site. His PLS and Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball entries were both later featured, and his WotM award stems from the rest of his totally awesome articles. Mickey Mantle is pictured a the right for no reason at all. Old-school Featured Article of the Week Hammers are extremely useful tools, most usually used for whacking stuff. Employed by Norse Gods, Italian plumbers, and 90s rap artists, the hammer can also be used to gouge out eyes and perform other tasks. Reading up on this article will result in increased knowledge of the hammer life cycle and sexual abuse of hammers, but may also cause severe cranial damage. This Week's Horoscopes Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - When you assume, you typically make an ass out of Ume. And you know how sensitive that guy is. see more horoscopes

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

―― Sir Heerenveen, KUN [UotM RotM VFH FFS SK CM NS OME™] (talk), 5/09 16:36

WTF?

WTF isn't Cajek blocked? ~ 22:32, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Hmm, good question. I must be slacking on my admin duties again. Which is a bit paradoxical, considering one of the admin's duties is to slack off. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:49 Sep 13, 2008

...

...

...

WELL?! ~ 22:51, 13 September 2008 (UTC)

Please stop deleting my Silver The Hedgehog page!

I am not done yet, and i have some kewl idea's for it! – Preceding unsigned comment added by DarkMatter (talk • contribs)

Hi there! If a page is in construction, it's a good idea to add {{construction}} to it to show the rest of us that you're not done yet. Also, it's less annoying if you use the Preview button. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:40 Sep 14, 2008

umm.. okay... thanx. – Preceding unsigned comment added by DarkMatter (talk • contribs)

Welcome. Also, please sign your posts with four tildes, like so: ~~~~ so other people can see who's talking. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 21:47 Sep 14, 2008

Thanx again, sorry to bother you, i'm new here.

DarkMatter

Not a problem, dude. (P.S. the four tildes - ~~~~ - automatically transform into your username, a link to your userpage, and the time you posted. So you'd write Message ~~~~.) – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 22:45 Sep 14, 2008

Again.... thank you.... do you like the page so far? DarkMatter 15:16, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

I see you've got the sig thing working. Have you read HTBFANJS? It's one of the most helpful guides here. Rather, it's the only helpful guide here. Your article sounds like it's turning into one long complaint. Which isn't exactly funny, unless you're parodying someone complaining, knowwhatImean? Video game characters are notoriously difficult to write a good article on. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:21 Sep 15, 2008

Ah... it isn't a complaint, as i am a fan of Silver, but, there is one really funny thing i know of and have told my friend.... he cracked up! DarkMatter 15:42, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

You are a star!

Thanks for letting me use you... Stop Squirming and Hold Still. Dame GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 14:15, 15 September 2008 (UTC)

Hmm, how best to convey my reaction? Oh yes, probably: XD – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 14:20 Sep 15, 2008

Your credentials have been updated with a revision of the page; please review and see if they are to your liking. -Tritefantastic 05:38, 13 October 2008 (UTC)

Plz to move discussion to my current userpage. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 05:39 Oct 13, 2008

I was way too lazy to put a header, or sign my post, thus revealing that I'm probably an asshole

Could someone help tidy up my articles? Im not really sure of the format they need to be in to avoid deletion

also why is there deletion here thats the worst thing about wikipedia thanks

First off, sign your posts. Secondly, sit down with a cup of tea and give HTBFANJS a read. Some handy templates you ought to know: {{construction}} signals to other people that you're not done working on an article. Thirdly, sign your posts: I hate it when people don't bother to learn the first thing about a wiki, like, signing your posts. Fourth, if we didn't delete things, the site would be filled with unfunny bullshit. Well, more than it already is. And we don't want someone visiting the site to think we're a bunch of 12-year-olds spamming "lol metallica sux" or something similar on a website. We delete crap because it's crap. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:15 Sep 15, 2008

I'd like to add one other thing: Protip: If you don't want your articles deleted, work on them in your userspace, or even keep a copy in your userspace. No admin will delete something in your userspace unless you specifically request it. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:19 Sep 15, 2008

OH MY GOD!!!

YTTE's page history disappeared when you hacked it up!!!! It's not gone forever is it?!?! IS IT!?!? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:37, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

Yes No Penis. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:42 Sep 16, 2008

T_T -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:43, 16 September 2008 (UTC)

Don't you know? Penis = Yes. I guess. Sire それは驚くばかりの性交である!! -4- (23:44 09-16-2008)

YAYAYAY YOU WIN MESSAGE

KOPY & PASTE YOUR MESSAGE TO ME FROM 9 MONTHS AGO TO DIS PAGE!

YOU WIN?

YES!

SINCERE,

THE CONGRATULATION FOUNDATION

UnSignpost: September 11th, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.

September 11^th, 2008 • Nineteenth Issue • All your readers are belong to us

Uncyclopedia celebrates 9/11 By Cajek 8 years ago, America was attacked or something. Uncyclopedians, who are true patriots, celebrated the eighth anniversary in true American fashion: by doing mostly nothing of interest to anyone but themselves. The UnSignpost devoted nine-hundred-eleven minutes of silence to the event Thursday by not even bothering to send itself out. "The Unsignpost was there nine years ago during those super not-kewl terrorist attacks," said chief writer Gerrycheevers. "I wasn't part of the staff then, so I promise that, in the 911th issue, we will devote a whole article to the events of that frabjuous day." In the 911th year of publication, the Unsignpost promises to dedicate the whole issue to 9/11 and those rascally terrorists. "We've already got 911 stories lined up for publication!" said staff photographer Larry. "It's too bad we have to wait so long to get them to the public, but that's what happens when you honor a holiday like this the way you're SUPPOSED to." Uncyclopedia's main page was 11/9-themed for the occasion. When Mordillo and Spang were alerted that nothing interesting happened on November ninth, 2001, Larry, Mordillo's public relations officer, claimed that "it [didn't] matter: One date is the same as the next. Why don't you Unsignpost people shut the hell up? Oh, and uh, I won't be able to come in Monday: it's my sister's wedding." Other wikis in cyberspace exist, and therefore did things relating to 9/11. Conservapedia, a conservative parody of Uncyclopedia, celebrated by drawing figures of Mohammed on their private nuclear stockpile. Legopedia celebrated by informing the public of Lego's new action series: 9/11: the Suckiest Thing Ever. Jengapedia honored the fallen by sponsoring a 911 minute championship Jenga competition. Liberalpedia, on the other hand, did nothing of any consequence. >:( FUCK YOU LIBERALS!! FUCK YOUUUU!!!! The Unsignpost would like to print a retraction of it's 47th issue from September 11th, 2001, wherein the terrorist attacks were called "super-kewl" and the terrorists themselves hailed as heroes. Those responsible have been sacked. Conservation Week Returns! By Gerrycheevers Conservation Week, also known as 'Rewrite-a-thon' or 'De-crap-ification', is upon our community once again. Twice a year, Uncyclopedians band together to clean out the weeds and squirrel corpses from promising trees found in the rewrite category, among other places. Due to the retirement of co-founder Jocke Pirat and quasi-inactiveness of co-founder THE, another user has stepped in with promises to annoy every user until they rewrite at least one article. That user shall remain anonymous. Opening day for this well-liked, popular, and intriguing event is Monday the 15th. The winner of the competition will receive the Greasy Mechanic Award for having rewritten the most articles in the two-week competition. Past winners include THE and Jocke Pirat. Be sure to participate early so as to avoid annoying requests to "rewrite an article, you lazy git!" The event has thrown into sharp relief the lack of Uncyclopedia events, or the excess of Uncyclopedia events, depending on who you ask. Ideas like Forest Fire Week and Everyone Edit A Ton Of Articles Week have not received much support, but may be enacted in the future to keep ADD-riddled Uncyclopedians something to do for five minutes. RC takes home NotM By Gerrycheevers After years of fruitless nominations, Rcmurphy has finally won n00b of the Month. The announcement came last week, when none of the three candidates fufilled the requirements necessary for winning the n00by. It seemed the two new users had both failed to write an article, and So So did not meet the main n00bishness requirement. Since there was no clear winner, the award went to Rc by Rule 4.1, Clause 3 of the NotM eligibility guidelines. As far as the NotM badge itself, it was initally placed on So So's userpage. After relenquishing the honor to Rcmurphy, So So proceeded to foul the badge and offer it to the user who wanted it the most. After the planned Panel of Penis Monkeys from Outer Space cancelled, a phone-in contest was held, in which Colin "All your base" Heaney dominated the competiton. He took home the badge and now proudly displays the feces-ridden merit on his userpage. In a related story, Rcmurphy is up for NotM yet again. However, he is facing stiff competition from W.T. Door, a U.S. Navy seamen who spends his time swabbing decks, battoning down hatches, and writing cool stuff.

Check out these pages! More fanmail from celebrities Responding response VF...R? From our logs: 22:25, 5 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 90.130.4.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Disliking the Matrix.) 06:19, 9 September 2008 Manticore (Talk | contribs) blocked 71.240.72.222 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Oh, please. My grandmother could take down the US Military if she so desired.) 11:07, 11 September 2008 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 125.27.19.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (The cabal cartel deems you unworthy for further edits.) Biopic of the Week Adored by his hordes of fans, Cajek can usually be found in the 'ban room'. Uncyc's fifth-most featured author, one can argue that he has revolutionized the wiki with his unique writing style. His regulation of Pee Review and founding of this very periodical are among the many ways he has somehow managed to contribute to the site between his bans. Old-school Featured Article of the Week Perhaps the most feared out of any of the creatures that walk the Earth, the Gazebo is as lethal as it is deadly. Known for their excellent camouflage and for being extremely protective of their young (pictured), humans can only hope to never encounter one of these legendary beasts in their lifetime. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - There is travel in your future followed by a lack of travel, followed by very slow travel. Things you'll be sitting in include sports car, hospital bed and electric wheelchair controlled by a blow tube. see more horoscopes Retraction of the Week Last issue we claimed that people from Eurasia are "subhuman scum". We would like to make a hasty retreat from this. Those responsible have been promoted and reassigned, against all the wishes of God and man. I'M LOOKING AT YOU, GERRY!! Re-retraction of the Week Last week we retracted our claim that "all mammals, including humans, should be killed and stockpiled for the coming nuclear winter." We would like to retract that retraction for reasons that can't be given in full in this issue. EDITOR'S NOTE: Look for a full explanation in about four issues VFD Survivor of the Week Movie Of Lady Whose Ankle Is Showing is pornography film set for release in the summer of 2009. Not since Keira Knightley In A White Corset And Kate Beckinsale In A Black One has producer/director Robot Thomas Edison so brilliantly captured handicap fetishes or William Shatner's Jewishness. Starring Paris Hilton as Dickin Mymouth, Rosie O'Donnell as Your Mother, and William Hung as Tingle the Magical Flying Aardvark of Justice, this is one film that is sure to captivate audiences worldwide. Sabbatical of the Week Under user has gone to some hemisphere other than his own, possibly the bottom one. We here at the UnSignpost wish him a trip free of kangaroo attacks, drop bear maulings, swarms of dozens and dozens of scorpions, and the various other pleasentries from down under.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

— MantiBot Owner 10:52, 17 September 2008 (UTC)

Woah Woah Woah

I've obviously missed a lot of shit while I was gone (and I'm still technically gone until Monday), but I didn't expect many pleasant surprises when I returned. Glad to see you're back around here. Also, how's that other "thing" coming along? You know. The thing. Sorry I haven't been around for it too, this whole internet thing struck me pretty unexpectedly, I was never able to really alert anybody. -RAHB 01:15, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

The thing is going really, really well. Three-quarters of the team is ready to go. We've had loads of technical and non-technical difficulties that we've just resolved, so your return (on Mondayish, anyway) is what is known as Perfect Fucking Timing.

Oh, and Ethine and I are engaged. And, I found my sense of humor again. The bugger seems to be running off when I get into, I don't know, depressive periods. Yes, that's right: I've been an uptight fucker because I was on my periods. Considering this has been going on and off since April, I've decided to do something about it. I'm either going to see a professional or beat myself over the head with a mallet. I think I'll flip a coin.

Also: GLAD TO SEE YOU BACK!! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 04:10 Sep 20, 2008

Strangely fitting you'd be the first to make an Ethine joke out of the two of us =) Give my best to the others, and hopefully everything will be back in full swing by Monday or Tuesday. Also, let Sys know I'll be getting a ribbon mic by the end of October. That should make him salivate a little bit. Heh. And I got a funny little image of the south park Dr. Skullthumper laying with his hands crossed on a psychiatrist's couch when you mentioned a professional. Hope that all works out well. Ask Ethine what she'd like for a wedding present. I know I can probably get away with getting you a hammer or something. -RAHB 05:40, 20 September 2008 (UTC)

Thanks

I know nuffin' about that "programmy language" thingy, except what I stole from other pages. I'd give you a cookie, but "C" is for cookie. This leads to the stunningly obvious conclusion that cookies are for me. I'm sorry, but the math is quite clear on that. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 21:09, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

You're welcome. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 23:31 Sep 21, 2008

I'd try to learn about it, but me haves enough trubl wiff english. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 23:37, 21 September 2008 (UTC)

Hey

I don't want to sound noob-ish and that (obviously, I am), but do you know how to create a custom sig? if so, create a custom sig for me (random names appear in my name, replacing "insert name here" lol). Mr. Insert Name Here 19:03, 23 September 2008 (UTC)

I'm not sure how often I'll be around to actually do the whole custom-sig bit, but here's the important bit you need to know. First, create a subpage. Then, go out and get a turkey sub. Next, ship the turkey sub via e-mail over to me; I'm hungry. After that, you'll want to put your custom sig in said subpage, go to your preferences and tick "Raw signature," then put {{nosubst|User:Mr. Insert Name Here/sig}} in the box right above that. Hope this helps! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 04:37 Sep 30, 2008

Or, if you want a sig that works, put {{SUBST:nosubst|User:Mr. Insert Name Here/sig}} in the nickname box. - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:44, Sep 30

Or totally that. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:50 Oct 02, 2008

Bonsoir

Bonsoir Moiseur SkullThumper. Jem' appelle Cecil. Je suis Canadienne! Je suis de Quebec. Comment 'appelle vous?--98.183.186.31 22:57, 28 September 2008 (UTC)

so i herd ur sad

diagram --> :(

I tell you what I tell all my patients who are also my doctors: Thetans! They're in ur soul, causin' all ur problemz! Simply kneel and renounce your beliefs for Tom Cruise and his science fiction book, and ye shalt be saved for the one-time-only low-low price of only $250,000 while supplies last! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 19:53, Sep 30

Pilates, man. That's where it's at. -RAHB 19:59, 30 September 2008 (UTC)

Thetan pilates? - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 20:15, Sep 30

I BLAME SOCIETY. Mostly because I've heard society is lazy and fat, so they're not likely to get up off the couch to defend themselves. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:52 Oct 02, 2008

Nazi Categorizer/UnScripts:The Symposium

Good stuff - it has a quite a lot of subpages, I think they're templates which you use on the main article, I'm guessing you know what your about, but on the surface these could be classified as article subpages - I can do this, but I wanted to check if there might be some reason not to:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 15:58, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, sure, knock yourself out. Label 'em however you like, they're just shortcuts for mass formatting in lieu of CSS. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 06:20 Oct 04, 2008

UnSignpost: October 3rd, 2008

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Whose Mom Said It Was Cool!

October 2^nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!

Uncyclopedia's Name Changed By Cajek According to Wikia staff member Sannse, Uncyclopedia's advertising revenue is below expectations and must rename itself to appeal to the younger generation. "I think the problem is that 'Uncyclopedia' has lost its edge," Sannse said to a crowd of squirrels and kittens gathered around the Uncyclo-stables last Saturday, "...all of which is contained in its name." Older users, like Mordillo, the jew who secretly controls "Uncyc," and TheLedBalloon, who is an inanimate balloon, strongly petition for the name to stay the same. The Unsignpost couldn't be bothered to actually read the forum that Sannse created, but we're assuming that everyone's against changing the name to "Asparagus.org" or something. The name change will reflect the personalities and interests of every single contributor. "Yeah, Asparagus.org is gonna have to do until we figure out what would be a good name," Sannse yelled at a local gathering of squirrels in Uncyclopedia's break room. Many users have complained about the change, but not AsparagusSignPost, which has run into a little trouble with the law recently, and doesn't want to go back to jail by disobeying "the man" or causing "drama". Because, as we ALL know, some head writers have been banned a whole bunch of times for being "different". So to Asparagus.org we say: "Keep the funnies coming, unless someone is forecasting your doom again..." Uncyclopedia's Doom Forecasted By Gerrycheevers For the first time in over two weeks, the flaming death of this silly wiki has been predicted in some form. Last time it was that stain that looked puzzlingly like Jimbo Wales, the time before it was that bird that flew overhead. You know the one I mean. This time around, undead user Necropaxx has pointed out several recent disturbing trends that seem to mean only one thing: Uncyc is about to suffer its death throes. It seems this time that the demise of the wiki will also utterly destroy the souls of every one of the dozens of users who contribute here regularly. Tidings such as this have frightened new users such as September NotM Multiliteralist, who had his to say: "Oh no." Several of the signs that Uncyclopedia is doomed are unarguably true: VFP is stagnant due to the lack of Zombiebaron activity. The Pee Review queue is backed up worse than a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo. Modusoperandi seems to be malfunctioning, as he has dispensed with his usual biting wit in favor of just plain biting. It appears, in at least a few users' eyes, that Uncyc has "jumped the kitten". Lack of News Wreaks Havoc on UnSignpost By Regret Tenenbaum In an unprecedented press conference earlier this week, UnSignpost editor-in-chief Mr. Gerry Cheevers (the user, not the hockey player) admitted that "This week's issue is actually still a blank template", further stating "I've been swamped at work, and today developed cold-like symptoms." However, some experts disagree on the cause of an UnSignpost devoid of news. "There is an obvious explanation for the lack of gratifying news stories in the USP this week," said Mr. News Guy, the world-renowned news reporter, kitten enthusiast, and unicycle-fetish expert. "There is just no news to report on," he continued, to which the reporter we borrowed from UnNews responded "And what's causing this lack of news?" "That's just it! There's no news to report on!" "So... you're saying is, the reason there's no news is because there's no news?" "Exactly! And it's just a matter of time until some attention whore writes a stupid and redundant story on the fact that there's no news!" This story is dedicated to the memory of Mr. News Guy, whose body was recovered from the Los Angeles river the next day.

Check out these pages! Feature Kitten Huffing (Again)! Sarah Palin hates kittens Our kitten overlord returns, bearing a gift From our logs: 7:41, 20 September 2008 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Just got back. Haven't banned Cajek in a month. Gotta get my fix. CLICK. Aaaaaah yeeeeeahhh. That's gooood shit.) 19:36, 21 September 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked Reggie4 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 days ‎ (You have 2 cows. Both of them are banned.) 12:16, 23 September 2008 Cajek (Talk | contribs) blocked a kitten (Talk | contibs) with an expiry time of 4 hours (it's lonely in the ban room, i want a friend) 19:01, 24 September 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 207.236.90.177 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I tire of your actions. Begone, ye pointlessness, from yon wiki.) 06:59, 1 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.106.6.52 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Pro Cat-in-the-hat vandalism? I think the internet just hit a new low.) Biopic of the Week DJ Irreverent: HAS A LIL' KITTEN!!! Old School Featured Article of the Week Kitten Huffing is the newest form of street activity that is corrupting the youth of the nation. Your nation, that is. By ingesting kittens nasally, one can enjoy a euphoric 'high' of sorts, complete with snazzy colors and loss of motor skills. A prepped kitten awaiting huffing is pictured. Kitten huffing has spawned many parodies and non-existant memes, but the act of snorting live kittens is no joke. This Week's Horoscopes GUARANTEED TO BE ACCURATE Cancer (June 22 - July 22) - Enjoy the time you spend with your kitten this week because...um...just in case... see more horoscopes People with Kittens this week This guy. Sabbatical of the Week Zombiebaron has taken an extended leave to ease his undead mind and change out his forest-green blood. He may or may not be traveling to some of the most luxurious and tropical destinations that Canada has to offer. He may or may not still ban you while he is away. His sabbatical may or may not be kitten-related. Stay tuned to the UnSignpost for the latest developments on ZB's location.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:17, 3 October 2008 (UTC)

Happy Birthday!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SKULLY!!!!!!Love,  

+17.5 points for brightening my night/early morning. Please drive up to the next window to collect your prize. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 06:32 Oct 04, 2008

It's your birthday? OMGWTF happy birthday. Try not to accidentally thump someone's knee or something, you senile old doctor! --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 14:14, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

They are going to let you vote now? Bloody hell. MrN 15:06, Oct 4

Scary, I know... – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 18:59 Oct 04, 2008

Happy birthday, apparently. I'd send you some golden memories but prices are going through the roof with the crash and all. -- T​K​F​​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​UU​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​U​CK 21:52, 4 October 2008 (UTC)

Meh. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:12 Oct 06, 2008

Oh yeah. Birthday and all. I missed it because I was moving in that day. Shame, I would have given you head and everything. -RAHB 05:50, 6 October 2008 (UTC)

Pfui. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:12 Oct 06, 2008

I remembered your b-day, but I was too much of a dick to say anything. Yeah: go vote, buy porn, and sign up for the army now, you 18-year-old!! QUIT MOCKING ME WITH YOUR YOUTH!   Le Cejak • <5:55 Oct 06, 2008>

Cajek!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG IT'S CAJEK! OMG! CAJEEEEEEEK! Thanks for the happy birthday wish! I am honored by your very presence! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:12 Oct 06, 2008

Thanks for the vote

Thanks for the vote on France Now let's go strike again!

Thanks there:) — Sir Sycamore (talk) 13:48, 8 October 2008 (UTC)

Polar Express

I saw your vote on that Grandad's Stories thing. I'd like to jump in and say that children being picked up by an alcoholic, drug-abusing black man in a conductors' outfit without pants on Christmas eve isn't funny: it's just children being picked up by an alcoholic, drug-abusing black man in a conductors' outfit without pants on Christmas eve! I'd like to say that the article I wrote was Unchristian, intolerant, and pro-child abuse, and that Cajek is not fit to run this country! He's- /me brings Dr. Skullthumper closer He's the anti-Christ! I'M SERIOUS! DON'T VOTE FOR HIS STUPID SHIT! ...oh my god, he's coming! /me sits up straight and pretends like nothing is going on Oh, and thank you for liking my article! :D   Le Cejak • <1:07 Oct 09, 2008>

OMG IT'S CAJEK – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 01:10 Oct 09, 2008 AND FOR THE MOMENT HE'S UNBANNED!!!

YAY! ...I MEAN BOO!   Le Cejak • <1:15 Oct 09, 2008>

Why Other Uncyclopedias do not hide?

What wrong with Template:languages?--Hant (Talk) - For your safety, China Free! - 03:57, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Fixed! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 04:04 Oct 10, 2008

Medjugorje

Hi,

Why did you deleted Međugorje article?

--Nena Djeb. 09:25, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

A passing Admin (and sexy Bureaucrat) has restored the article. I would suggest expanding the article and adding more general humour to make it funnier for people who live outside of the village (and not just those that live in the next village along, either!) -- Sir Mhaille  (talk to me)

Blocked Article

Hi, I'm new on Uncyclopedia and I just made an article on RuneScape. The page was blocked from creation (by you) and it said on the CVP page I should ask an admin to move the page if I wanted to create a CVPd article. I created it at RunEscape; could you please move the article (if you think it's ok) to RuneScape? Thanks.--Pig House 16:34, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

Hi, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! CVP'd articles are called CVP because they're constantly recreated as crap articles. As such, it's not a good idea to write a CVP article - that's why they're protected, to stop new users from creating articles based off of common concepts, characters, or games, without understanding how to make such a page funny. Please don't try to circumvent the system with different capitalization. I've moved it to your userspace because you're technically not allowed to write CVP'd articles in mainspace.

If you want to write a CVP'd article, first you should know you're doing pretty much the impossible. An article has to have a good concept, and trying to just write something funny about a common thing just doesn't cut it. If you really think you've got an original, creative, and most importantly, funny concept, give it a start in your userspace and ask for a Pee Review. If you manage to do the impossible and make a good page out of a CVP'd title, then it'll be moved to mainspace.

Personally, though, I'd suggest spending your time working on different articles. For reasons mentioned above, it's hard to make anything funny or worth the effort out of a page with a CVP title; that's why they're protected, because they're deleted so often. At any rate, welcome and happy writing! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:46 Oct 10, 2008

shortpages fix

hey skull, i noticed a while ago that you applied the 'fix' to disambiguation pages to keep them off of the shortpages list. this makes it much easier to peruse shortpages. i'm thinking of doing more with that concept: maybe with subpages (like Cabal/Cabal3), unpoetia (many of which are extremely short), purposely short pages (like The Answer to The Great Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything), and the like. what do you think? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:18, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

That's an awesome idea. If there's any way to compile a list of said pages I'll get Fnoodle to do it. Howzatsound? – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 19:41 Oct 10, 2008

Signpost

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!

October 9^th, 2008 • Twenty-First Issue • Bursting with Crunchy Goodness!

Uncyclopedia Stock Plummets By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia stockholders are in a state of panic after shares of Uncyclomedia fell over 60% this week amid fears of a writing recession. "I just can't gamble on a rebound," said one investor as he carefully climbed out onto his window ledge overlooking Wall Street, perhaps seeking some fresh air. "With the current economic and comedic climate, and rumors of the destruction of the website, it looks like Uncyc Incorporated is about to fold." Other investors are slightly more optimistic. We ran into a smartly dressed woman in the Uncyc break room and were intrigued as to why a female would ever have enough confidence in the wiki to invest the large sum of one dollar bills she was counting. It turned out that she was a stripper, but we did eventually find someone who still had faith in the company. "There's so much more to the Uncyclopedia Empire than just the humor wiki," said confident money-man Chet Hardluck. "There's the kitten factory, the escort service, the games & sports division...and don't forget the world's largest boron-smelting plant!" When it was pointed out that these claims are in fact bollocks (except for the boron plant), Hardluck joined the queue of businessmen waiting their turn to get some frsh air on the suddenly popular ledge. The fate of the Uncyclopedia corporation remained unclear at press time. Some say that if Uncyc stock plummets through enough negative numbers, the stock will reset itself at zero, resulting in huge negative negative profits for those who bought the stock whilst it was negative. Uncyclopedia announces invasion of YouTube This week the first UnTunes was uploaded onto YouTube, the video sharing site so weighed down by copyright infringements that it certainly would not float in the tub. Our staff couldn't be bothered to watch the video, but we assume from the description of the foray that it is some sort of archival recordings of Oscar Wilde being awesome. The first upload began a series of incursions onto YouTube by all types of Uncyclopedians. Some made sense, such as article narrations and UnTunes. Some were questionable, such as the gangsta rap video by the usually timid Sycamore. But nearly 99% of all material in the 'Uncyclopedia' category is patent nonsense, such as a visualization of AAAAAAA!, faceoffs between George Bush & Kanye West and Steve Ballmer & various other injokes, and a 'don't blink contest' featuring Gert5 staring into a camera for nine hours.

Check out these pages! Be nice to n00bs! Poop management A modest proposal From our logs: 17:23, 4 October 2008 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked AdamtheSpud (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Thou shalt not create stupid MySpace vanity; nor shalt thou spam links to it across the site, lest ye be smited) 02:00, 6 October 2008 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked 100100100 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus rang. He hates you for blanking your neighbor's article. Also, he says he caught you mastrubating the other day. They're reserving a spot in the ninth circle of hell for you. Enjoy!) 23:50, 6 October 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.147.9.218 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Excuse me my kind sir, but may I please ask of you what the fuck you're doing?) Biopic of the Week The Thinker is an Uncyclopedia powerhouse. He was last year's bestest writer and is the proud papa of 17 featured articles (and proud co-papa of a further 14). He has won numerous awards for his writing skills, journalistic style, and sexy baritone. His fame and fortune stem from his daily routine of cleansing the body and spirit. Old-School Featured Article of the Week The Swedish Orienteering And Firing A Rat From A Cannon Championships is an annual Swedish tradition dating back to simpler times, when the joy of launching rodents into a lake could light up the face of the young and old alike. However, protests and scandals have recently threatened this once-great occasion, and interest has dwindled to the point where the land of Sweden is once again littered with unlaunched rats.

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— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:26, 10 October 2008 (UTC)

re: Kowaru

Uh, um, Skull? Don't ban him for that! On my behalf, would you consider giving him another chance? I don't know why I'm standing up for him, but I was THERE when he "archived" and, uh... oh my behalf? Please?   Le Cejak • <3:03 Oct 11, 2008>

Yea, just ban Cajek instead. MrN 03:05, Oct 11

Okay, okay: MrN just saved his ass on IRC by pointing out that his mistake was discussed on his talkpage. Still, fucking around with VFD, whether by accident or on purpose, has traditionally warranted a 24-hour ban with little exception, and who am I to mess with tradition? I'm unbanning him now... although BACK IN MY DAY we got banned for WEEKS at a time and we were HAPPY TO HAVE THAT... – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:06 Oct 11, 2008

Yeah! 15 miles in the snow, and et cetera! - P.M., WotM, & GUN, Sir Led Balloon (Tick Tock) (Contribs) 03:09, Oct 11

On 56k modems! – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:12 Oct 11, 2008

I like how nobody noticed I archived right after him. YES! BAN FREE SINCE OCTOBER '08!!   Le Cejak • <3:14 Oct 11, 2008>

Psh. Banning Cajek is so passé. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 03:19 Oct 11, 2008