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Actual Hilarious Conservative Article about the "Dangers of Bicycles and the Chinese"[edit]

One of the easiest and most dangerous things in the world is not to pay attention.? One day you fail to notice that your hair is getting a little shaggy.? Because of that, people you’d otherwise not give the time of day to start approaching you and asking you directions since you look “kinda like them”.? Bit by bit and day by day your hair gets longer and dirtier and you stop bathing twice a day until your morals become just as filthy and foul as your external appearance and smell.?

And why?

Because you didn’t pay attention.

I’m here to tell you that’s what happening now right here in America.? We been trying and trying to warn y’all but you just won’t listen because you’re not paying attention.

For the past coupla weeks, we pointed out two of the most dangerous threats to the United States - Murderous Chinks and bicycles.? We presented no-nonsense facts and truth and still y’all just refused to take a bath or cut your hair.

I only pray that God and this video is gonna take the scales away from your eyes.

While driving to witness?last?Friday,?I had to go through Harvard Sq. and the most horrible sight appeared like a demon in front of me - thousands of bicycles taking up every square inch of the road where the cars belong! Fortunately, God blessed me with a video phone and I’m able to give y’all a sample of what life’s gonna be like if we don’t deal with the Chinese real soon!

Pay attention!!