From today's featured article
SAVANNAH, Georgia -- Some local fishermen reeled in what they called "the catch of a lifetime" Tuesday when they pulled aboard an MK15 Nuclear Fish that was accidentally dropped by a B-47 bomber back in 1948. The men were aboard the Kraken Hunter VIII when one of their lines hooked on "something big," nearly snapping the corresponding fishing rod.
"I started reelin' her in, but she was a fighter," one of the sailors told UnNews. The bomb had been resting peacefully on the bottom for 70 years and was not in a good mood. "It just went back and forth, tugging harder on that line than anything I'd seen before."
In the news
- Trump would/wouldn't flip changes US history
- The Dark Knight: Ten years later (Pictured)
- Chevy Chase, Maryland to change name to Bill Murray
- Donald Trump farts
- A Saucerful of Secrets is 50 years old! Also Michael Jackson
- Growing belief that flat earthers do not exist
- Rush Limbaugh ties too much brain behind back, goes into cardiac arrest
- Ice cream is racist
- UnNews logo on articles now links to UnNews main page
- Opinion: Trump signs executive order to end border separation that HE started
- Fishermen reel in M15 Nuclear Bomb
- Rapper XXXTentacion shot and killed at 20
- Trump uses Space Force to distract from border separation scandal
- Why your horror nerd friends are unusually excited
- Why your European friends are unusually excited
- Roseanne reboot gets canned after Roseanne can't keep her racism down to a 6.5
- Twitter reinstates news outlet Palmer Report after brief suspension
- Phil Hartman: Twenty years later
- Twitter suspends news outlet Palmer Report for telling the truth
- NBC's next live musical celebrates hippies, drugs, nudity, masturbation, and sodomy
- Actress Meghan Markle marries unemployed welfare prince
- Senate votes to restore net neutrality, House says "hold my beer"
Did you know
- ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
- ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
- ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
- ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
On this day
July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day, and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS!
- 0 – Scientist decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor "falls" of the world and is never seen again.
- 1066 – King Harold inaugerates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
- 1855 – An brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
- 1929 – Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
- 1966 – Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
- 1986 – Copious amounts of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
- 1990 – Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two people are killed by the virus itself.
- 2006 – TOTAL FUCKING HYSTERIA!!!
Be a writer
Unfortunately, anyone can edit Uncyclopedia. Click the Edit tab at the top of most pages (or the  link above sections) to try to add your own brand of funny. If you want to take on other tasks, our introduction will guide you through the basic principles of editing, unless you don't know how to read.
There are many resources to help you along the way:
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines — for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for even more resources
Today's featured picture
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch · 日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español
- More than 1,000 articles: Français · Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 · 正體中文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська
- More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg