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From today's featured article

Fishing Nuclear Bomb.png

SAVANNAH, Georgia -- Some local fishermen reeled in what they called "the catch of a lifetime" Tuesday when they pulled aboard an MK15 Nuclear Fish that was accidentally dropped by a B-47 bomber back in 1948. The men were aboard the Kraken Hunter VIII when one of their lines hooked on "something big," nearly snapping the corresponding fishing rod.

"I started reelin' her in, but she was a fighter," one of the sailors told UnNews. The bomb had been resting peacefully on the bottom for 70 years and was not in a good mood. "It just went back and forth, tugging harder on that line than anything I'd seen before."

"I thought we had caught the Megashark!" said another.(Full article...)

In the news

The Dark Knight: Ten years later
A genius at work.

Did you know

Cabbage.PNG
  • ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured)
  • ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun?
  • ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
  • ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
  • ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
  • ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
  • ... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
  • ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?

On this day

Always a concern on National Hysteria Day.

July 22: Oh, my God! It's National Hysteria Day, and you HAVEN'T MADE ANY PLANS!

  • 0 – Scientist decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor "falls" of the world and is never seen again.
  • 1066 – King Harold inaugerates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
  • 1855 – An brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
  • 1929 – Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
  • 1966Australian Prime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
  • 1986 – Copious amounts of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
  • 1990 – Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two people are killed by the virus itself.
  • 2006TOTAL FUCKING HYSTERIA!!!

Today's featured picture

Laketiticaca1.jpg
Bolivian signpost featuring the latest language symbolism to aid foreign visitors.

Image credit: Mhaille

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