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“Every portrait that is painted with feeling is a portrait of the artist, not of the sitter.”

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... that Big Bird was the guest of honor on a special Thanksgiving episode of Sesame Street? (Pictured)

... that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?

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I'm gonna' hit that shit all day long, son!

September 7: Electric Bong Day (Poland), Invade Stuff Just for the Hell of It Day (Germany.....and Britain and America and Spain and Japan)

10,000 B.C. - Armed with sticks, rocks, and clods of dirt, first primitive Germanic people invade France. 15 minutes later, the white flag is invented.
355 - Claudius Silvanus, Roman usurper dies. No more usurping from that guy.
1911 - The first bean bag chair goes on display in Paris. Rioting ensues.
1914 - Germany invades Austria, Belgium, France, Serbia, Armenia, Norway, Zaire, South Dakota.
1940 - The Blitz: the German Luftwaffe begins to rain bombs down on London. The Blitz is followed by the Blintz, in which the Luftwaffe rains pastries down on London, including the deadly Luftwaffle.
1945 - Winston Churchill takes his first holiday after victory in Europe, Snow boarding in Palestine.
1960 - Strange spikes in household electricity use are observed throughout California.
1980 - Mr. Spears invades Mrs. Spears' pants; finds more than he expected.
1992 - Princess Anne is released back into the wild in Africa from captivity.
1996 - Tupac is assassinated by that punkass, Biggie Fats. Country music fans rejoice.
2001 - Luxembourg floated on the New York Stock Exchange. Germany attempts a hostile takeover.
2003 - Parents send their children to invade Micheal Jacksons bed, later Sue. And Jane also.
2015 - US invades it's own borders claiming the existence of weapons of mass destruction.