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Sexual harassment ("HAIR-iss-mint") is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. It includes a range of behavior from mild transgressions and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity – but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit? Jiggle for me, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.
Eighty percent of men are drawn to your tits, but I'm an ass man and, honest to God, I think Michelangelo sculpted your rear end. Ninety percent of me wants to lie down on that back porch right here, right now. Man, if these walls weren't glass, I'd have to chain myself to the desk. Oh, come on. Don't get so uptight, honey. My bark's a lot worse than my bite. But don't take my word for it. If you catch my drift. (Full article...)
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In the news
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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)
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On this day...
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June 14: Really Long Events Day
- 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
- 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2025, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
- 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
- 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
- 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
- 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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