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Obscurantism, or the intercontextuality of embodied narratives, is a device liberally used in philosophy and in most forms of Japanese-queer-giraffe epistemologies. Such investigations including the deeper inspection of how The Golden Girls pioneered the dichotomy of aborting penguin fetuses before a traditionalist view of gestation periods. Obscurantism is the driving engine behind on how straight white men ruin everything by their lack of intercontextuality and alienation of ripe unwashed gym bags that emanate a man stink so strong no one can make sense out of anything, which is why so few dare engage its profundity or survive the process.(Full article...)

Did you know...

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  • ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
  • ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
  • ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
  • ...that you just lost the Game?
  • ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ...that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
  • ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?

In the news

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Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, and DeltaruneRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill SobuleRuth BuzziLeBron James' playoff run • Night CourtLopez vs LopezJayson Tatum's Achilles and Boston Celtics' repeat hopes • George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1

Upcoming deaths: DEIGoogle's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen

On this day...

"Get thee behind me Bacon!"

May 25: National Pork Products Day (Israel)

  • 2403 BC - Moses opens first Piggly Wiggly with the goal of "Bringin' Chitterlings to all my Peeps!"
  • 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia.
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain.
  • 1936 - Hitler starts the Funky Panzer dance craze, which takes Europe by storm.
  • 1942 - Seventh-Day Adventists announces that the end of the world postponed once again due to rain.
  • 2003 - Governments across the globe disband to give public servants much needed break.
  • 2015 - Lin-Manuel Miranda tries beatboxing his way out of buying a Snickers bar at a Los Angeles 7-11, when questioned by police, Miranda claimed he was "young, scrappy and hungry."
  • 1643 - In a bold attempt to improve workplace morale, the entire crew of a Dutch merchant ship simultaneously starts speaking only in pirate slang for the day, leading to widespread confusion and several minor navigational errors.
  • 2025 - You don't notice an annoying itch hidden behind your subconscious until this sentence reminds you of it.

Today's featured picture

Individually wrapped M&M's (from OCD)
NEW! Individual wrappings prevent Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

Image credit: MoneySign
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Recent Articles

More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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