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Mark Rothko (September 25, 1903 – February 25, 1970) was a Latvian born, American artist who became famous for his color field, abstract expressionist paintings. Since he personally rejected those labels to describe his work and even bristled at the word “abstract”, it’s fair to throw in pretentious avante-garde nutjob as well.
The first achievement of anyone who wishes to become an artist is to break your parent’s hearts by becoming “the special child” who ignores the economic realities of life and forgoes a lucrative or realistic career for the sake of hanging out with other people just like him or herself. Rothko accomplished this pre-requisite during the American Great Depression of the 1930’s and left his mother crying “why why why” many years before the phrase would be popularized by Nancy Kerrigan. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that you wash your ass not your pussy (Pictured) in the Bidet?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?"
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
- ... that Pope Francis (Pictured) played football for Argentina?
- ... that there is one imposter among us?
- ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
- ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
- ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
- ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
 - ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?
- ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside?
- ... that creating an account comes with a 50% higher chance of leaving of Uncycloland alive?
- ... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed.
 - ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
- ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
- ... that a Pie Chart is the most delicious way of visually conveying information?
- ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers?
- ... that midget cockpunching terrorists are a threat to the US and her allies?
- ... that to the untrained ear, John Aglethorpe's Ode to the Monotony of Life may simply sound like one continuous, monotonous tone, but the song is actually composed mostly of alterations between the A sharp and B flat notes tied together?
- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
- ... that I think you know what's happening today?
- ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
- ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval?
- ... that the concept of Hell dates back to ancient Egyptians' fear of sand burning your feet?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 6: Roadkill Appreciation Day (North America & Australia)
- 3500 BC - In the first recorded instance of roadkill, Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses IV hits a small cat with his chariot. Shameful.
- 1869 - The first historical instance of so-called "cannibal roadkill" occurs when a horse-drawn buggy strikes a horse pulling a second buggy.
- 1934 - Hitler runs over a small ferret in his Volkswagen, precipitating his later invasion of Poland.
- 1962 - Julia Childs releases a groundbreaking roadkill culinary masterpiece titled Treadmarks and Tarragon.
- 1969 - President Nixon continues the Road Kill bombing over Vietnam.
- 1990 - Road Kill is officially the new Mystery Meat in school lunches.
- 1995 - Steve Ballmer runs over my dog after yelling at the top of his lungs "I'm going to fucking bury that dog. I've done it before and I will do it again. I'm going to Fucking Kill that dog."
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Today's featured picture
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One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's "Valley of the Dolls."
In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared:
- That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged,
- Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range,
- Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel,
- I dare not but apease her wealth with meal.
- But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test;
- What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest.
This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI!
Image credit: Prettiestpretty
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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