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Donald Trump vs. Joe Biden, billed as Capitol Punishment, was an undisputed president-elect championship boxing match between Donald Trump and Joe Biden. It took place on Tuesday, November 6, 2020, on the South Lawn of the White House in Washington, D.C. The South Lawn was briefly renamed the "Presidential Lawn" for the fight. It sounds fancier.

The fight is often regarded as the biggest moment in American politics history, and arguably the most publicized sporting event of all time. It's estimated that the total viewership for this fight was 3.7 billion. It was the first time two presidents ever fought each other with their fists and not their words.

The bout was highly anticipated by many people all over the globe, including American citizens that were non-sports fans and also weren't into politics.

Biden won in ten rounds by knockout. Trump dealt with the backlash that came from getting his ass beat. The criticism and insults online caused Trump to deactivate all his accounts on social media temporarily. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured)

... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
... that there is one imposter among us?
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that Barns and Nobles is the most successful medieval farming roleplaying game, played by millions of teenage nerds worldwide?

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In the news
Kim Kardashian gets ready for a facial Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix boxing match Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon! Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... and another sexual assaulter as defense secretary Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA Obama smears poop on daycare Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality (Pictured) UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs" Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance" Recent deaths: Quincy Jones • The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • Democrat party • Tony Todd • The Dallas Cowboys' and New York Jets' seasons • Boxing Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • The Chicago Bears' and Cincinnati Bengals' playoff chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay • Joe Biden • Donald Trump UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
November 20: Sophia Day 10,000 BC - Sophia, the Greek Goddess of Wisdom, invents boobs, which are like an ass, but on the front this time. 500 BC - Greeks invent philosophy, made from the words "philos" meaning love, and "sofia", which means Sophia Loren. 403 - The Hagia Sohpia, known for its majestic curves and giant stonking domes, is completed in Constantinople. 1917 - World War I: Battle of Cambrai: The Allies make surprise attack on the German Trenches, a young Adolf Hitler is caught jerking off to pictures of sheep at the barracks. 1970 - Sophia Loren wins the Academy Award for Best Actress For Life, for a candid home video which was mistakenly submitted to the Academy. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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Hello Kitty getting her groove on.

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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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