UnNews:Man wins Most Oblivious Human award
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Duncan Ng, a 26-year-old personal trainer from London, has been given the Most Oblivious Human award after failing to notice a baby being blown onto a track next to him, and apparently being unable to register that a rescue was taking place before his eyes.
A freak accident caused the baby's pushchair to be blown some twelve feet from the bottom of the stairwell straight onto the tracks, passing within six feet of Ng, whose back was turned.
More impressively, he maintained his oblivious state even after growing tired of vaguely staring at the Underground Map and turning around to face the scene, watching the heart-stopping rescue with his arms folded.
When UnNews presented Ng with his award yesterday, he was apparently confused as to what it was for, initially replying, "Wow, this is so random."
When we explained it was due to his conduct on the London Underground yesterday, his eyes sparked with comprehension and he said, "Ah yeah, I put together such a good mix tape for my post-session chillax. Thanks for this!"
- Leverage, "Child in buggy blown on to London Tube station tracks" BBC, September 21 2021