From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
|
Vigilance shall be visited upon this vermin-filled vestige forthwith!
Victims without value, vacant of vitality, shall vanish.
Volunteer for vindication!
|
Forest Fire Week!Uncyclopedia is currently under Martial Law. Cleanup is in progress for the week of
November 16th to
23rd.Administrators are under orders to delete any pages out after curfew or without passports. Editors beware!
This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
|
"What Would Jesus Do?" is the most popularly over-asked question in the history of man, just edging out, Baby, if you've never tried anal sex, how do you know you won't like it? It is also the most asked question in the history of women, just ahead of Do you think this makes my ass look fat?
The question is commonly associated with dedicated followers of Christianity, but falsely so; true believers never ask that question as they know exactly what the Jesus would do. The simple query inspired the WWJD movement and spawned a multi-million dollar a year industry producing such wholesome family oriented items as charitable bracelets [1], lighters, belly-cut t-shirts [2], the finest of bumper stickers printed only in the smallest existing illegible fonts on Earth, and beer koozies.
The capitalistic monster spawned by those four little words has grown into that which has lead some to believe modern Jesus just wants to bank some loot, buy some bling, and bang some bitches. This may well be true as he declined any interview for this article. (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
*... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
- ... that compromise is a great diplomatic tool? Although on an international level, a nuclear arsenal is even better?
- ... that 5/3 people cannot do fractions?
|
|
In the news
|
|
|
On this day...
|
July 11: International Pull My Finger Day; Fake Fart Appreciation Day (Rural Alabama, Georgia)
 - 1307 – Walter Tell, offspring of the famed archery enthusiast William Tell, pioneered the art of Interpretive Death by creatively expiring after suffering a major crossbow incident.
- 1796 – The United States takes possession of Detroit from Great Britain under the terms of the Jay Treaty. Great Britain immediately regrets this transaction when the Detroit Red Wings win the Stanley Cup in 1798.
- 1804 – Secretary of the Treasury Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded in a duel with United States Vice President Aaron Burr in the last major political duel before the Political Dueling Edict of 1822 was imposed by the new generation of sissy-boy lawmakers.
- 1859 – A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens is published. Oscar Wilde immediately parodies many of Dickens' concepts in his novel the Picture of Dorain Gray.
- 1864 – The American Civil War does not live up to its name as a Civil War, as pleasantries are barely exchanged before the Battle of Fort Stevens.
- 1925 – Famous monster Oscar the Grouch (pictured) is born in the slums of Sesame Street. He does not earn the added moniker of "Grouch" until he resorts to selling candy to children after bedtime following a long string of hardships.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Uncyclopedia's sista projects
|
| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
|
Uncyclopedia Languages
|
| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,291 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Kippy/BigUglyTemplateopedia!:
|
Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
