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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
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Vigilance shall be visited upon this vermin-filled vestige forthwith!
Victims without value, vacant of vitality, shall vanish.
Volunteer for vindication!
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Forest Fire Week!Uncyclopedia is currently under Martial Law. Cleanup is in progress for the week of
November 16th to
23rd.Administrators are under orders to delete any pages out after curfew or without passports. Editors beware!
This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
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In Pasticle Physics, antipasta is composed of anti-ingredients in the same way that pasta is composed of ingredients. For example, an antiegg and some antiwheat with a bit of antiwater can form an antipasta dough. It is potentially life-threatening to consume antipasta without extreme safety measures and a bit of luck. This is because when an anti-food particle comes into contact with a positive particle (for example a human's tongue) the two particles annihilate each other releasing a tremendous amount of energy (the equivalent of 1,000,000 spurts of explosive diarrhea after bad Mexican food). This means the more antiparmesan you add onto a mountain of antispaghetti, the more likely your body will paint the walls and ceiling before you finish eating it. Whilst an exciting, even an arousing proposal, it is a little too dangerous for most people (even if you have a little chub just thinking about anti-tortelini) and seen as reckless and hedonistic by conservative foodies.With excessive care, one can enjoy anti-rigatoni and most likely keep their stomach intact, their head on their shoulders and not shit out anti-blood. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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| *... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
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In the news
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On this day...
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December 23: Festivus
- 1402 - Frank Constanza invents Festivus, "a holiday for the rest of us."
- 1888 - Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh cuts off part of his left ear, sells it on eBay for three times the list price.
- 1938 - Immigrants from the Old Country bring over the Festivus Pole (Pictured) to America, get rid of the tinsel as it's "too distracting."
- 1954 - The first successful piano transplant is performed, following failed attempts on organs and harpsichords.
- 1970 - Ted Cruz molts for the first time! He eats the scaly residue for sustenance.
- 2000 - Competing holiday Christmas Eve Eve gets laughed off the room by good, correct people.
- 2006 - Your uncle makes a scene during the Airing of Grievances, makes the rest of the day awkward.
- 2007 - You and Your mom duke it out in the Feats of Strength. Your Mom promptly beats your ass.
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
