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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions.
Somebody touch me.
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Vigilance shall be visited upon this vermin-filled vestige forthwith!
Victims without value, vacant of vitality, shall vanish.
Volunteer for vindication!
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Forest Fire Week!Uncyclopedia is currently under Martial Law. Cleanup is in progress for the week of
November 16th to
23rd.Administrators are under orders to delete any pages out after curfew or without passports. Editors beware!
This page is a piece of crap. The author(s) acknowledge this.
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*ahem*
Lawrencium is the 103rd element of the Periodic Table of Elements, which, if you did not know what the Periodic Table of Elements is, the Periodic Table of Elements is a table full of elements, with Lawrencium being one of the elements in the Periodic Table of Elements. Little people know this fact, but if something ends with "-ium", it's most likely an element. (See Stupidium, Unobtanium, and Unobtainium). This includes Lawrencium, and thus, Lawrencium is an element. Lawrencium has the atomic symbol of Lr (which was formally Lw), and has the atomic number of 103, due to it being the 103rd element of the Periodic Table of Elements. Choquant.[2] It borders Lutetium, Nobelium, and Ytterbium on the Potentially Available Table of Elements. It is the last element in the Actinide series, because god himself couldn't think of any other elements for the Actinides. You know god also suffers from de-motivation and laziness, right? Cut him some slack. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*...that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ...that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ...that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ...that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
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In the news
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Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.
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On this day...
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August 22: Obvious Day (24-hour period to celebrate the recognition of things which are readily apparent)
 - 1492 - First encounter between Native Americans and Europeans. "I think these guys are up to no good," the local shaman remarks after being promptly shot.
- 1717 - Spanish troops land on Sardinia. Having forgotten the can opener, they promptly leave.
- 1939 - The Third Reich and the Nazis continue their march across Europe. This is bad.
- 1940 - As the Germans invade Belgium, a local looks up from his waffles and remarks "This seems somehow familiar."
- 1945 - Nazis defeated. This is good.
- 1948 - Jewish state of Israel founded in the predominantly Arab Middle East. This will later cause problems.
- 1966 - Captain Obvious is born. Doctor proclaims, "It's a boy," because the child has a penis.
- 1973 - Brutal, murderous dictator Augusto Pinochet takes control over Chile. "I bet the CIA is helping this guy," says a random intellectual just before being abducted by a group of soldiers in black helicopters.
- 2012 - People actually acknowledge that the Titanic was in fact not unsinkable.
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Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.
- ↑ Choquant is a very uncommon word only spoken by the people in a specific region which will be revealed if you keep reading this footnote, which won't actually happen because you're a dumbass for reading this text because I won't reveal where the word choquant comes from you stupid, stupid, silly man (or girl, or transgender person), probably because you can just infer where it came from, or, of course, just search it with Google, Firefox, or whatever you use. Pornhub?
- ↑ Choquant is a very uncommon word only spoken by the people in a specific region which will be revealed if you keep reading this footnote, which won't actually happen because you're a dumbass for reading this text because I won't reveal where the word choquant comes from you stupid, stupid, silly man (or girl, or transgender person), probably because you can just infer where it came from, or, of course, just search it with Google, Firefox, or whatever you use. Pornhub?
The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
