User:Kippy/BigUglyTemplateopedia

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The People's Republic of China is a pivotal support mechanism for the retail industry worldwide, although some believe they may have their own agenda.

China is populated by perhaps the most resourceful hardworking people on Earth, yet despite some of the strictest social engineering known to man, the Chinese still hog all the best quality crab legs in the buffet rather than waiting in an orderly line. Chinese moms force their babies to play violin until their fingers bleed; the dumb ones learn viola instead. Also, they put a fuck-ton of MSG in their food, which is actually pretty tasty.

Everything was invented in China, including gunpowder, paper, the compass, opium, pandas, panda-huffing devices, avian flu, SARS, bat recipes, COVID-19, USA's debt, Amazon Prime and CCTV; you name it, they invented it before anyone else. They also invented rhino horn aphrodisiac powder, Confucianism (a severely autistic, highly regimented version of Filial Piety), kidney harvesting and the Wu Tang Clan. While they didn't invent babies, they do mass produce them deep inside the VaChina. Bada bing! The male babies are then sent to work producing industrial glycine, and the female ones are sent to the streaming mines to post pirated clips of TV shows, except the captions are wrong and the video gets horizontally flipped every 2.7 seconds. (Full article...)

Did you know...

*... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that not all πr². There are also many π that r rounded?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?

In the news

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Goodbye, pennies...

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas CowboysThe Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing "Mamdani the Commie"

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISSJune LockhartNick MangoldJamaicaToronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna GodchauxDiane LaddDick CheneyMark Butt-fumble's TV career • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The penny

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpCoral reefsNYC's capitalistic economy • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing horribly to the Miami DolphinsWeedStranger Things

On this day...

An Icelandic swan dresses up as Bjork to celebrate Bjorksmas

November 17: International Celebrate Things That Happened On This Day In The Past Day; Bjorksmas (Iceland).

  • 1796 - Napoleonic Wars: Battle of Arcole - French forces defeat the Austrians in Italy. Despite the victory, French forces surrender 15 minute later, citing "force of habit".
  • 1863 - Siege of Knoxville begins: Confederate forces place Johnny Knoxville under siege; Steve-O manages to escape in a daring skateboard stunt.
  • 1871 - The NRA is granted a charter by the state of New York, they celebrate by accidentally shooting people.
  • 1970 - Douglas Engelbart receives the patent for the first computer mouse. The revolutionary invention will allow men to search for porn with only one hand.
  • 2003 - Arnold Schwarzenegger is inaugurated Governor of California, announces that he intends to cut the state's deficit, improve education, and find a woman named "Sarah Connor".

Featured picture

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Movie poster for the epic film, Grue vs. Grue.

Image credit: Sliferjam
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Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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