User:Roozie/Main Page Black

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We all want to be happy. Nothing is more miserable than feeling miserable - your friends don't want to be around you, it's harder to get a date, and blues music is really annoying. Worse than all this, though, it feels bad to feel sad.

Fortunately, there are some very simple tools that can help you be happy. True, when you're happy your friends probably still don't want to be around you, you'll probably still have trouble getting a date, and you still don't have a genre of music to listen to, but at least you can be happy about it all!

Positive Psychology experts have completed various studies related to personal happiness. They tend to be extremely boring studies, and not anywhere as near as much fun as the negative psychology experts' studies, but those aren't as significant in what we're doing here at the moment. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

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  • ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ...that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
  • ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
  • ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
  • ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
  • ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
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In the news

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Artistic impression of the new tanks.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VIEurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael‑Hamas conflict • ICE rounding up illegal immigrantsTaylor Swift's very unlucky, no good year • Eagles fans rioting and eating horseshit in celebration, again

Recent deaths: Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedomDavid LynchBob UeckerDame Joan Plowright • The Kansas City Chiefs Dynasty and Patrick Mahomes's legacy • A One Direction reunion

Upcoming deaths: PhiladelphiaTravis Kelce's sham relationship with Taylor Swift and his career • TikTok, for real this timeBashar al‑AssadDiddy's freedomJay‑Z's career and freedomLuigi MangioneKate MiddletonYour New Year's resolutionsLos AngelesLaura PalmerDEI, for better or for worse

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On this day...

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An exhibit of internet spam before the invention of adblockers

February 22: International Day of Spam

  • 1996 - Need money quick? Need money now? Get a Payday Loan today! It's not like you have a choice you poor piece of shit haha.
  • 1998 - Got bills you need to pay? Some student loans looming overhead? Donate some plasma to literal blood-sucking capitalists.
  • 1999 - There are hot singles in your area! I don't think you can do anything with that information, I just wanted to tell you.
  • 2001 - Retro fans! Buy a complete box set of every movie and television series released during the 1980s, only $25,999.99! comes in fourteen trucks.
  • 2005 - Buy the last 49,367 Blu-ray discs of Peter Jackson's opus King Kong, I don't know use it as tinsel it's starting to leak chemicals.
  • 2011 - Look like your best self, buy our signature collection of foundation and concealer, made from the ground up bones of the long extinct sea cow.
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Today's featured picture

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Uncyclopedia's patron, Oscar Wilde, dropping the truth on you bitches.
Exodus 32:
15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written.
16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables.

Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron.
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Recent Articles

|- | More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas |- |} {| width="100%" class="MainPageBG" style="margin-top: .5em; padding: .5em; border:1px solid #c9c9c9; background-color:#FFFFF2; vertical-align:top;" | !

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting! |} 

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