User:Roozie/Main Page Black
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{| style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;" |style="width:56%; color:#000"| {| style="width:280px; border:solid 0px; background:none;" |style="width:280px; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"| Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 37,647 articles in English |} |style="width:11%; font-size:95%; color:#000;"| *Politics *Games *Music |style="width:11%; font-size:95%;"| *Science *History *Art |style="width:11%; font-size:95%; color:#000;"| *Television *Film *Theatre |style="width:11%; font-size:95%;"| *Society *People *All Portals |} {|style="width:100%; background:none; margin:-.8em 0 -.7em 0;" |style="font-size:95%; padding:10px 0; margin:0px; text-align:left; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"| Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations |style="font-size:95%; padding:10px 0; margin:0px; text-align: right; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"| Categories · Featured content · A–Z index |} {| style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px" |width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cef2e0; background-color:#f2fff9; vertical-align:top;"| {| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;" | You have to be ready for everything. What if, say, you were just hanging at the basketball court at the local park, playing a casual pick-up game with a few of your best friends? Suddenly, you hear the roar of a crowd as you are suddenly approached by an enormous interloper. Could the crowd be screaming for you? No, they are, in fact, awed by the presence of Shaquille O'Neal, who in turn challenges you to a game of one-on-one. If you possessed the hops of Aaron Carter, besting Shaq would be small potatoes, but since you are not A.C., you must be prepared with a thorough strategy to beat Shaq real bad and make him cry. This time, it's for real. It is a modestly known fact that Shaquille O'Neal is a sensitive, malleable soul, so it is best to start your game with a damaging psych-out to his fragile mind. Typical trash talk will not suffice here; your words must be as caustic as acid to splinter the fabric of his melonesque head and unwind his tenuous confidence sweater. The following list of verbal bullets have been used with success against the hall-of-fame athlete: (Full article...) Recently featured: Did you know...|- |
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Writer and Noob of the Month|- | Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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