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{| style="width:100%; background:#fcfcfc; margin-top:1.2em; border:1px solid #ccc;" |style="width:56%; color:#000"| {| style="width:280px; border:solid 0px; background:none;" |style="width:280px; text-align:center; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"| Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 41,057 articles in English |} |style="width:11%; font-size:95%; color:#000;"| *Politics *Games *Music |style="width:11%; font-size:95%;"| *Science *History *Art |style="width:11%; font-size:95%; color:#000;"| *Television *Film *Theatre |style="width:11%; font-size:95%;"| *Society *People *All Portals |} {|style="width:100%; background:none; margin:-.8em 0 -.7em 0;" |style="font-size:95%; padding:10px 0; margin:0px; text-align:left; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"| Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations |style="font-size:95%; padding:10px 0; margin:0px; text-align: right; white-space:nowrap; color:#000;"| Categories · Featured content · A–Z index |} {| style="border-spacing:8px;margin:0px -8px" |width="55%" class="MainPageBG" style="border:1px solid #cef2e0; background-color:#f2fff9; vertical-align:top;"| {| width="100%" cellpadding="2" cellspacing="5" style="vertical-align:top; background-color:#f2fff9;" | Tesco, officially the Federal Union of Autonomous Shopping Republics, is a large country that has grown in size since its origin in 1917. It is the largest thing in the world by some considerable distance. It was founded largely on Marxist shopping principles, somewhat of a contradiction you might say, but they sure as hell have found a way! While inside, please refrain from buying Nando’s new Mouth-Roasting-Japan-Hiroshima-Bomb-Devil’s-Blood-Extra-Spicy sauce. Tesco recruits its staff by loitering outside school gates, waiting for school dropouts. It has a strict policy of not employing anybody with 5 GCSEs or more. If you send them 10 or more CVs they send you a polite letter to tell you to stop sending fucking CVs. So if you're looking for an exciting, well paid and mentally stimulating career that allows you to express your creativity, get lots of fresh air, make lifelong mates and meet lots of interesting people, then working for Tesco is not for you. (Full article...) Recently featured: Did you know...|- |
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Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh Steelers • Giants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick Mangold • Jamaica • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya Nakadai • Sally Kirkland • The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's and Ravens Flock's livers and kidneys after falling to 6-7 • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard On this day...|- | December 9: Belisarius' Hairdo Day (Turkey)
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Writer and Noob of the Month|- | Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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