User:Martinultima

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Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page

The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit

Main Page
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King Diamond (Latin: Epicus-Metalus) is a Grammy-nominated Danish time-traveller, lead singer of two of the best bands of all time, avid spelunker, wears his trousers too tight, stole Gene Simmons' face (not his makeup look, but his actual face), cheese connoisseur, world poker champion, actual king of Denmark, founder of black metal who never actually made any, globetrotting paranormal investigator, expert in poser extermination, practitioner of black magic, member of the Scooby Gang and jeweler. But he is a king, and he is rich enough to afford even the most valuable diamonds. He is also a master alchemist, and is able to tranform any material he wants into the blackest of metals. (Full article...)

Did you know...

  • ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
  • ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
  • ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?

In the news

Luigi arrested for CEO killing.png
"He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!"

Ongoing: Eurovision Song ContestRussian InvasionIsrael-Hamas conflictUnited States presidential election aftermathNBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump Dance" • Bill Belichick going insane
Recent deaths: Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO)Democrat partyDiddy's careerThe Eras TourAlabama football's championship bidThe white guy from The Mod Squad
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir PutinBashar al-AssadDiddy's freedomBenjamin NetanyahuJay-Z's career and freedomKate MiddletonAaron Rodgers' career

On this day...

Oh yeah?! You goin' down!... to the Juicing Room.

December 20: "Oh yeah?! You goin' down!" Day (New Jersey), Blueberry Harvest Season officially ends (you missed it)

Today's featured picture

GI Jew: The Movie
GI Jew: The Movie is a 2006 remake of the classic Torah! Torah! Torah! of 1967 fame. The remake underwent many names before GI Jew was chosen, including Hebrews with Hutzpah and Israel is Real.

Image credit: RadicalX
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images


Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Martinultima’s Scratchboard
In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales:

Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.”

~ Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007

Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready:
Franklinstein-signing-detail.jpg

And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready...
My Latest Articles
Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH
Jolt Cola PEE -
Complete Bibliography
8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!)
Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein
7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite)
Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
7/3/2007 Norelcopee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...)
Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review
6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
1/18/2007 Jolt Cola
1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page
6/3/2006 Deep Note
3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version)
1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
11/30/2005 Celine Dionide
11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers
Articles Images WTF?