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King Diamond (Latin: Epicus-Metalus) is a Grammy-nominated Danish time-traveller, lead singer of two of the best bands of all time, avid spelunker, wears his trousers too tight, stole Gene Simmons' face (not his makeup look, but his actual face), cheese connoisseur, world poker champion, actual king of Denmark, founder of black metal who never actually made any, globetrotting paranormal investigator, expert in poser extermination, practitioner of black magic, member of the Scooby Gang and jeweler. But he is a king, and he is rich enough to afford even the most valuable diamonds. He is also a master alchemist, and is able to tranform any material he wants into the blackest of metals. (Full article...)
Did you know...
- ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
- ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
- ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
- ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
- ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
- ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit?
- ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
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In the news
"He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!"
On this day...
December 20: "Oh yeah?! You goin' down!" Day (New Jersey), Blueberry Harvest Season officially ends (you missed it)
- 4,000,000 BC - Trash talking is invented by caveman. First insult is samallhuuuuell1!!(I'm a kick the shit out of yo potatoes!!)
- 1800 - Evidence comes to light that The Battle of Gillygillyossenfefferkatzenellenbogen-by-the-sea actually took place just outside Gillygillyossenfefferkatzenellenbogen-by-the-sea.
- 1803 - Napoleon annexes St.Louisiana, taking it over from the America. He defends it by making a pact with the unpredictable Llama Jesus, now proven to be very much alive and roaming the swamp around Florida.
- 1860 - South Carolina secedes from the United States, marking the official end of the Blueberry Harvest Festival (and also leading to the American Civil War).
- 1931 - Terrell Owens, Godzilla, Crazy Frog, Vanilla Ice, Millard Fillmore, and Vin Diesel form The Legion of Doom, and celebrate by stealing a nigga's bike.
- 1977 - Kitten Huffing deemed a breach of Human Rights.
- 1982 - American-Welsh War of 1982 begins in Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch.
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Today's featured picture
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Recent Articles
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Writer and Noob of the Month
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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Complete Bibliography
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8/3/2007
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Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
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7/22/2007
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Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
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7/21/2007
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UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!) Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
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7/4/2007
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Benjamin Franklinstein
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7/4/2007
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Jolt Cola (rewrite) Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
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7/3/2007
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Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...) Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
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6/26/2007
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The Human Element – waiting for pee review
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6/19/2007
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Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
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2/15/2007
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Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
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2/10/2007
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National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
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2/9/2007
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UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
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2/5/2007
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Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
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2/5/2007
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Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
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1/18/2007
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Jolt Cola
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1/16/2007
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UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
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6/3/2006
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Minimalist talk page
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6/3/2006
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Deep Note
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3/4/2006
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Geocities (really crappy original version)
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1/9/2006
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I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
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11/30/2005
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Celine Dionide
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11/20/2005
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Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
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11/3/2005
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UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers
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Articles
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Images
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WTF?
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Update
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