User:Martinultima

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Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit Talk page Stylesheet VFH/VFP/RD Pee Review Ultima Linux Homepage

Main Page Hello and welcome to our one hour special on the American Man, brought to you by cool, refreshing, Coors Light! In the next hour, you will learn the ins and outs of being a true man according to our sponsor, Coors Light. Silver Bullet! Many of these qualities are (or should be) entirely obvious to any man living in America, sitting on his couch with his dumbass friends, a plate of wings on the coffee table, and a frost-brewed Coors Light in his hand to wash it all down with. However, for those wishing to study the subtle mannerisms of the species, for lesser men hoping to become less of a wimp (or straight), or for annoyed girlfriends/wives who are sick of repressing their rage for their beastly better halves, we present the following crash-course in manhood as our sponsor, ice cold Coors Light, would have us do so. (Full article...) Recently featured: Unfomercials:Coors Light Presents: The American Man Spider-Man Brain rot My Brawl With Santa Claus on Christmas 1978 Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years? ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993? ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years? ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993? ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years? ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993? ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years? In the news 5202-6491 hcnyL divaD Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop Taylor Swift and Hailee Steinfeld set for Celebrity Deathmatch as Bills-Chiefs halftime show Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025) David Lynch dies, weird town to investigate (Pictured) Los Angeles Rams rest starters in playoff game to disastrous results Donald Trump given three Nobel Peace Prizes Donald Trump uses his get out of jail free card California's real estate market is on fire... literally. And in shambles. Steve Guttenberg comes to the rescue... without those goofy sound effects South Korea's president arrested for "accidentally" declaring martial law while ordering pizza, sentenced to play in the Squid Game Trudeau resigns after making a mess for a decade, Canucks rejoice Alcohol gets the Surgeon General's Warning for cancer; sparking "Dry January" chaos Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100 Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Luigi arraigned for gunning down health insurance CEO; pleads not guilty Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • College football championship game • Another Josh Allen/Patrick Mahomes playoff game. Spoiler Alert: refs rig game for Chiefs again Recent deaths: TikTok • A CEO who died peacefully and surrounded by his loving family • Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright Upcoming deaths: The Kansas City Chiefs Refs season • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer On this day... January 21: Drink Until It Stops Hurting Day 30 AD - Supply Side Jesus patents cure for leprosy, sells treatment for thirteen drachmas. 1503 - The first handgun is designed, launches the shooter's hands towards the enemy. 1781 - Benedict Arnold, tired of being called "Eggs Benedict" by George Washington, defects to the British. 1850 - Millard Fillmore installs the White House's first bathtub. 1954 - Leni Riefenstahl writes, directs and stars in propaganda film, "Both Sides Were Bad, M'Kay?" 1991 - First ever "Yo-Mama Joke" is told. Violent bitch-slaps shortly follow. 2017 - Millions of feminist activists and Antifa super soldiers march in the streets, murder innocent shop windows. Today's featured picture Mr. T is a beacon of hope in our cold and dark world. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images edit Recent Articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Martinultima’s Scratchboard In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales: “Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.” ~ Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007 Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready: And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready... Add New Post Edit Posts My Latest Articles Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH Jolt Cola PEE - Update Table Complete Bibliography 8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B... 7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now) 7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!) Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber. 7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein 7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite) Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg 7/3/2007 Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...) Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order! 6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review 6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show. 2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}}) 2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes) 2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!" 2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace) 2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic) 1/18/2007 Jolt Cola 1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe 6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page 6/3/2006 Deep Note 3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version) 1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates) 11/30/2005 Celine Dionide 11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg 11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers Articles Images WTF? Update