User:Martinultima

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Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page

The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit

VFH/VFP/RD
Pee Review

At the end of the 2010 spring season, NBC canceled longtime staple Law & Order, a program that had run on the network for twenty consecutive seasons and been instrumental in wresting away viewers in the critical 65-and-older demographic from competing network CBS and the upstart Bingo Channel. The storied program has since become the most syndicated show in the history of television, often airing a cumulative seven hours between TNT, AMC and Bravo on any given weekday, not to mention providing the basis for Sam Waterston’s lucrative insurance commercial career. The show’s current heir-apparent is Law & Order: Los Angeles, a show that uses the exact same premise as Dick Wolf’s original brainchild, albeit with a different cast and setting. This incarnation of the show, however, was not the only Law & Order spinoff that NBC considered. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

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Did you know...

... I burning your dog? (Pictured)

... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling?
... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
... that I'm better than this person in particular?
... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?

... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?

... that the White House is really off-white?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?

... I burning your dog? (Pictured)

... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling?
... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
... that I'm better than this person in particular?
... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?

... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?

... that the White House is really off-white?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?

... I burning your dog? (Pictured)

... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling?
... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
... that I'm better than this person in particular?
... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?

... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?

... that the White House is really off-white?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
... that a camel's boobies are on its back?
... that Phonics (pronounced Pa-hon-iks.) is one of the deadliest and most addictive drugs on the streets? It is said to get children "hooked" in four weeks or your money back.
... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
... that the dolphin is the only animal other than man that laughs at its own farts?

... I burning your dog? (Pictured)

... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
... that NASA will one day send sharks to space?
... that everytime we touch, I get this feeling?
... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
... that I'm better than this person in particular?
... that 69% percent of statistics contain sexual innuendo?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news

1977-2026

So.. about that Super Bowl..
- Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows
- GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson!
Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight
Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April
Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland
Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez
Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy
Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • Seattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day

Recent deaths: Kianna Underwood • ~~Uncyclopedia~~ • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek)

Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again

On this day...

February 16: No Human Rights Day

1792 - Frenchmen reading Thomas Paine's Rights of Man take lessons to heart by beheading people they disagree with.
1859 - In an effort to curb loud noises, the French government passes a law to prevent sounds above 435 hertz from being heard in public.
1861 - American Civil War (Pictured) begins with argument over whether black people should be owned and mistreated or just kicked around and mistreated.
1991 - Yakov Smirnoff celebrates the dissolution of the Soviet Union by jumping off a cliff.
1950 - First time Nineteen Eighty-Four is used in a poorly conceived political metaphor.
1989 - Fisher Price wins contract to supply China with toy tanks to run over protesters.
2000 - Dick Cheney has sex with a horse, and centaurs are born.
2006 - The Republican Party legalizes the hunting of humans, to control overpopulation.
2010 - The War on Terror is re-named the War on people looking at you funny.

View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's featured picture

Cliff Williams of popular music combo AC/DC seen here practising his scales on his custom bass guitar. This bass couldn't produce any tunas, or even any tunes.

Image credit: Col.swordman
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Recent Articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Martinultima’s Scratchboard
In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales: “Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.” – Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007 Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready: And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready...
Add New Post	Edit Posts

My Latest Articles

Benjamin Franklinstein	PEE	VFH
Jolt Cola	PEE	-

Update Table

Complete Bibliography

8/3/2007	Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
7/22/2007	Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
7/21/2007	UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!) Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
7/4/2007	Benjamin Franklinstein
7/4/2007	Jolt Cola (rewrite) Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
7/3/2007	Norelco – pee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...) Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
6/26/2007	The Human Element – waiting for pee review
6/19/2007	Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
2/15/2007	Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
2/10/2007	National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
2/9/2007	UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
2/5/2007	Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
2/5/2007	Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
1/18/2007	Jolt Cola
1/16/2007	UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
6/3/2006	Minimalist talk page
6/3/2006	Deep Note
3/4/2006	Geocities (really crappy original version)
1/9/2006	I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
11/30/2005	Celine Dionide
11/20/2005	Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
11/3/2005	UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers