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Welcome to User:Martinultima’s Page

The conveniently cheap userpage that nobody in their right minds should edit

Main Page
Ivory Billed Woodpecker.jpg

Thursday night, the news broke that National Enquirer publisher and former Donald Trump ally David Pecker (hee-hee) was planning to blackmail Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos with pictures of the retail giant's own pecker. That's right, a guy named Pecker wants to expose Jeff Bezos's John Dingell for the whole world to see. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago


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Did you know...

In the news

David Pecker picked a pic of Bezos's pecker
Butts and peckers? Is this the Evening News with Beavis & Butthead?

On this day...

Pictured: Your taste in music/television/everything.

February 20: Hot Garbage Day

Today's featured picture

Tom Wants You! (history, logs)

Featured picture candidate
Tom Wants You!

Why wouldn't you join? Tom Cruise is a member! Don't you trust Tom?

Image credit: LinkTGF
Archive - Discuss this image

Score: 12
For Votes: 25
  1. self nom and for --LinkTGF 23:35, 18 April 2006 (UTC)
  2. Weak for if only because I enjoy mocking him. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 23:48, 18 April 2006 (UTC)
  3. Strongly For!!!!!. That fool Tom Cruise couldn't be mocked enough!--Frinko 00:31, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  4. For. God, I hate Tom Cruise... HOMESTAR ME!!! TURTLE ME!!! t o m p k i n s  blah. ﺞوﻦ וףה ՃՄ ண்ஸ ފއހ วอฏม +տ trade websites 00:33, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  5. For... is he pointing at God?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 00:43, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
    • thank god someone got that, I thought no one would notice lol --LinkTGF 00:46, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  6. For I got it Link, and I like it. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:06, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  7. OT IV Tom=Batshit Insane --Roger The BUM MUN ⌥⌘⎋ F@H Complaints H4x0R M3! Euroipods! Norwegian Kanaaääaäaalääaaaäaaää Attack! 03:22, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  8. Against - Change Tom Cruise to Uncle Sam, switch the pointing finger to his other hand and have it pointing at us, substitute Communism for Scientology and add five more exclaimation points and I may change my vote. But probably not. --Imrealized 04:45, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
    • err... no... maybe since you voted against the image you just described you should change your vote to neutral ;) --LinkTGF 05:05, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
      • Wow... I did, didn't I? Shit, I thought I was someone else for a second. In light of this development, mark me down as FOR (it really is well done Link, especially the inclusion of Scientology's own Rosy Cross) --Imrealized 05:56, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  9. For --Da, Y?YY?YYY?:-:CUN3 NotM BLK |_LG7+::: 08:07, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  10. For. I want THIS PICTURE for featuring. Spang talk 09:19, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  11. For. --Conniption 09:43, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  12. For. Good work. --Hindleyite 18:02, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  13. For. Funny.--Rataube 20:46, 19 April 2006 (UTC)
  14. For Dame PPsigPPlips.gifGUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 01:53, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
  15. for but the 'for scientology' font kinda bugs me. it dosn't seem to fit... --neko 16:44, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
    • I used IMPACT font for all the text in that image :) --LinkTGF 16:57, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
  16. Jawohl, Mein Fuhrer! Get rid of those blasted Thetans the humane way! Swordmaster 16:50, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
  17. forThat boy needs help--Lieutenant Nappy_The_Quarryman MUN UND BET ELV VAN SPEL SEXY WH NS GR HMRFRA CM 23:17, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
  18. Kaizer the Bjorn
  19. Marco Raimey
  20. toratoritore
  21. LightDisciple
  22. Martinultima
  23. ForestAngel
  24. Feureau
  25. Nice enough. Sir SockySexy girls.jpg Mermaid with dolphin.jpg Tired Marilyn Monroe.jpg (talk) (stalk)Magnemite.gif Icons-flag-be.png GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotYPotM WotM 00:16, 30 August 2009 (UTC)
Against Votes: 13
  1. Against. --~ sin($) tan() 23:53, 18 April 2006 (UTC)
  2. Against. Why? Because I'm awkward. And besides, the picture of Tom is too small on the poster. And it looks too unrealistic. ~ Ghelæ talkcontribs 11:20, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
  3. Against. No celebrity jokes, please. Not for the front page, at least. - Sikon 12:01, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
  4. Against I don't know, it's a good image but Scientology is a twice-dead horse at the moment. —rc (t) 22:27, 20 April 2006 (UTC)
  5. LeoFed
  6. 02barryc
  7. George VI
  8. Ianweller
  9. anon32
  10. DaMenace
  11. Dawg
  12. §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ
  13. Standard issue. 1234 ~ 16px-Pointy.png 06:05, 13 May 2011

Featuredrc (t) 04:24, 21 April 2006 (UTC)

Recent Articles

More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Martinultima’s Scratchboard
In the same vein as Slate Industry in Wales:

Postage stamps of Ireland are the postage stamps issued by the postal authority of the independent Irish state.”

~ Captain Obvious on Wikipedia's featured article on August 14, 2007

Get Franklinstein here VFP-ready:

And get Franklinstein here VFH-ready...
My Latest Articles
Benjamin Franklinstein PEE VFH
Jolt Cola PEE -
Complete Bibliography
8/3/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein – Norelco, you betrayed me! Time for plan B...
7/22/2007 Norelco (obviously this is a personal favorite now)
7/21/2007 UnNews:J.K. Rowling reveals title for Harry Potter 8! (been waiting to post this since 2005!)
Not my best, but apparently VFH'd anyway. Kudos to User:Sonic80 for being my one supporter here. Note that that bit about Homer Simpson (and, well, that other thing) was not my idea, but oh well. Oh, and screw you, Michael Gerber.
7/4/2007 Benjamin Franklinstein
7/4/2007 Jolt Cola (rewrite)
Includes Image:Benjamin Franklinstein.jpg
7/3/2007 Norelcopee review, resubmit (philosophy + shaving? bad combination...)
Also comes with Image:Mona Lisa Razor.jpg and Image:Occam's Razor in Action.jpg, yours free with paid order!
6/26/2007 The Human Element – waiting for pee review
6/19/2007 Image:American idols got talent.png. I hate that show.
2/15/2007 Geocities (I think this is where I put in {{:Me}})
2/10/2007 National Federation of the Blond (started, but needs a lot more blond jokes)
2/9/2007 UnNews:National Federation of the Blond: "Dye your hair, you're in danger!"
2/5/2007 Image:Thyspace.png (for Thyspace)
2/5/2007 Captain Omnipotent (section: Weaknesses + pic)
1/18/2007 Jolt Cola
1/16/2007 UnNews:Scientist experimenting on coffee arrested for blowing up universe
6/3/2006 Minimalist talk page
6/3/2006 Deep Note
3/4/2006 Geocities (really crappy original version)
1/9/2006 I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle (added line: ships and planes...with chips on plates)
11/30/2005 Celine Dionide
11/20/2005 Image:Palpatines guide to facial care.jpg
11/3/2005 UnPoetia:Norbert Percy Tangleknickers
Articles Images WTF?