User:MrN9000/TalkArchives11

Why didn't you tell me?

You never told me that you shagged goats. Why did you keep this from me? —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:34, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

We used a condom, so I don't think it really counted as actual sex. MrN 02:35, Feb 14

Eh, you're right. Plus, according to my source, it's just something of a hobby for you. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:47, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

That was a vandal. He was making a mess of a loads of articles... I asked him really nicely (twice) to stop... And he did! MrN 02:50, Feb 14

No, I don't believe you. He was just trying to expose the truth. You really are a gay man. You really do shag goats. Jeez, I thought we were friends. You should have known that I would have been there for you. And if you did, you would have been wrong. Because I do not support your goat shagging lifestyle. Because I am a goat. —Sir SysRq (talk) 03:00, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

A male goat? MrN 03:01, Feb 14

O_O /me calls the apropriate authorities ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 05:41 14 February 2009

Tell me, in this situation, who are the appropriate authorities? —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:29, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

The goat protectionists. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:30 14 February 2009

They are in on it... MrN 18:31, Feb 14

/me is spitting in your face THIS IS OUT OF YOUR JURISDICTION! —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:32, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

MrN looks nervously right.

Orian looks nervously left.

Oh noes! Won't somebody please think of the goats! In a non-sexual situation. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:34 14 February 2009

I WANT MY FAMILY BACK! —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:36, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

You've lost me now, sissy... ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:38 14 February 2009

I SAID STAND DOWN, SERGEANT! —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:40, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh, Ok. I wasn't aware I was in the police force but if you insist I'll resign. Sorry. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:41 14 February 2009

I DON'T CARE WHAT THE JUDGE SAYS, WE'VE GOTTA GET INTO THAT APARTMENT! NOW STEP ASIDE! —Sir SysRq (talk) 18:51, 14 February 2009 (UTC)

It's so unfair. Why didn't you tell me as well that you shagged goats?--A. SHePerD 04:07, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

Hello. This sort of clean talk page is now defiled. Goodbye

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 10:24 15 February 2009

Yeah, we're on to you and your partial talk page archiving. I'll still take an inexperienced talk page over a slutty one any day. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:30, 15 February 2009 (UTC)

Bot champing at the bit?

Give him this, wind him up, and let him go go gogogogo! --UU - natter 09:21, Feb 19

Thanks UU, I just got "wake me up before you gogo" stuck in my head. ~ 09:22, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Yeah? I got "The Drug" by Warrior Soul inside mine, largely thanks to the "here we go go go" refrain before the chorus. Definitely a superior song, in my none-too-humble opinion. --UU - natter 09:27, Feb 19

Don't know that one, lemme listen to it. ~ 09:31, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

Welll, there are lots of guitars in it, and for me, guitars > no guitars. I wouldn't trouble yourself though - no-one but me ever likes the kind of music I like. Except Iron Maiden, there are a few people on here who seem to like them. --UU - natter 09:35, Feb 19

Will be tonight. Hea, the paper is going well at the moment... We actually have articles backing up! Whatever next... MrN 10:53, Feb 19

I had a very long heavy metal period in high school, all the way up to Kreator O_O, and I still have everything Bruce Dickenson ever published. Add some Motorhead and we got ourselves a nice show. ~ 11:07, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

And because of the last one, I'm now listening to Ozzy's version of Hellraiser. ~ 11:08, 19 February 2009 (UTC)

I haven't really gone through phases like that - I've tended to expand my horizons while sticking with stuff I liked when younger. Which is why Skid Row and Iron Maiden nestle comfortably next to Ella Fitzgerald and The Last Poets and suchlike. Also, did you notice MrN try to make a comment in our conversation on his own talkpage just now? Madness, I call it. --UU - natter 12:32, Feb 19

UnSignpost 19th February2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because if the rumors don't spread at the salon, we must spread them in the news.

February 19, 2009 • Issue 35 • Sifting the flour of news into the soufflé of your talk page

Uncyclopedia shuns ads in favor of product placement By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedia admins today announced that there would most definitely never be advertisements placed in the hallowed halls of yon humor wiki. However, it seems in order to rake in the cash that would have resulted from these ads, similar to raking in the flavor from KFC's new Turkey-Flavored ChickenTM, we will instead be treated to subtle product placement in every facet of Uncyclopedia. The driving force behind this decision is undoubtedly greed. The driving force behind the new Ford ExplorerTM is Jack Bauer. Catch 24 this Sunday on FOX! Jack Bauer drives a Ford! When asked for Uncyclopedia's official political stance on the matter, sysop TheLedBalloon said, "You can't fool me Jimmy Carter! I voted for Gerald Ford in the last election and I'm DAMN PROUD OF IT! You can't intimidate me with your 'pretending to be the newspaper reporter but actually being Jimmy Carter in disguise who will then detain me for several months of waterboarding hell' routine--fool me once, shame on you; fool my twice, shame on me...", which only added more fuel to the fire of speculation surrounding this occurence. For the best value fuel, visit Egan's SunocoTM. The mood in the Uncyclopedia break room was sombre today. Several users expressed their concern about not having ads placed on the wiki. "What? No ads? But how will we make money?" asked Sockpuppet of an unregistered user. It seems the secret of product placement has been kept under wraps by the non-existant Cabal. For the best quality cling-wrap, choose Crestfield Wax PaperTM. When asked for the reason behind the secrecy, TheLedBalloon further elaborated on his earlier statement, saying, "FORD WAS RIGHT TO PARDON NIXON, DAMMIT! So take your goddamn liberal hippy goddamn elitist goddamn tax-raisings somewhere else!" Readers are reminded that Williams BrandTM is the preferred brand of hippy elitist tax-raisings by a 2-to-1 margin. Please stay tuned to the UnSignpost for further updates on the ad situation, the product placement situation, and how really, really terrible all of our articles are going to look with trademark tags mucking up the line spacing. Sonic Fever Hits Uncyclopedia By Joe9320 For the first time in 18 years - in fact, since the first Sonic game came to the USA in 1991 - Sonic Fever has again spread far and wide, and the age of Sonic is back! (Among several users on Uncyclopedia, at least). The first Golden Age of Sonic ran from 1993-1998. By 2001, Sonic was way past his prime, grumbling about how he "used to be a contender" and trying to hock his large collection of gold rings and emeralds for beer money. People no longer cared about Sonic. Then in 2008, a surge in Sonic Mania started again, but this time on the internet! It reached Uncyclopedia in 2009. Uncyclopedia Experts have determined that the mania will be short lived, and be replaced by Mario Fever, and then a resurgence in Pokémon Fever all within the next 3 years. Meanwhile, Twilight mania among teenage girls will continue to outstrip it. Enzo Aquarius declined to comment, for he was too busy for an interview. The UnSignpost imagines he'd probably have said something about Rouge The Bat being "hawt".

Check out these pages! Suffering voting withdrawal? This'll keep you happy for ages! So, do we collaborate... ...Or colonize? Decisions, decisions From our logs: 21:29, 15 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Thebigj2 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (1. blanker. 2. I live 10 minutes from Anna Frank's house, ergo - you're trashing my neighbourhood) 17:55, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Flyingwombatperson (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (If Britain no longer exists, why can I still buy British Breakfast tea? HUH? ANSWER ME THAT, SMART GUY! (also don't blank pages, please)) 13:21, 13 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Gettgett (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Do I know you? No. Do I know your butt ugly friends? No. Do I CARE about you and your friends? NO. Do I think you are all bored and butt ugly. YES. Get the point? Get some good looking friends) Biopic of the Week What do you look for in an amphibian? Long hind legs, a short body, webbed digits (fingers or toes), protruding eyes and the absence of a tail? Or a large banstick, supercool admin powers, awesome writing skills, gratuitous profanity and minor homicidal tendencies? If you chose the first option, you need a regular frog. If you chose the second, you need TKF. (Just don't call him TFK). If you chose the third option, you aren't playing properly. The continuing saga of Cajek block of the week 15:09, Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours (Can you believe I haven't blocked you yet in 2009? Yeah, I know!) 07:40, Thekillerfroggy (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 6 hours (Thou shalt not be Cajek, though I suppose thou must, so I shall cut thou some slack) 17:50, 15 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 11 minutes ‎ ([edit/QuickEdit] Cajek (Talk • Contribs (del) • Editcount • BLOCK (rem-lst-all) • Logs • Groups • Checkuser) -- how Cajek on VFS looks to the sysops) 21:30, 11 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1000 seconds ‎ (Right you two - sod off, the chap had enough!) 21:06, 11 February 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 672 seconds ‎ (Oh that just fuckin' tears it Led. You hear me?! That fucking TEARS it! It's ON!)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  18:07, Feb 19

Now that you're a member of the non-existant cabal

Memorize these links: Uncyclopedia:Ban Patrol Uncyclopedia:QuickVFD Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion Uncyclopedia:Maintenance Special:NewPages Special:BrokenRedirects Special:DoubleRedirects Special:NewImages

and study them every day, 74 times a day. Also, get Spang's auto-delete script, which I'm too lazy to find. And also, penis. -RAHB 11:04, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Hey, congratulations with your sysop'ation. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 11:05, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Penis. MrN 11:06, Feb 21

Oh, yes. Deja-vu. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 12:51, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Oi Sexy

Archiving VFD,QVFD,Ban - Can I archive when I feel like it or is there a system?--Sycamore (Talk) 12:34, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

My normal strategy was to try to edit conflict UU as much as possible. :) You can see from RC if there is someone on the page. If it's an admin I would wait for them to do all the huffs/keeps, and then try to do the archive in one edit. I use 3 Firefox windows. One with the archive page open ready for edit. One with VFD, and one with VFD in edit mode. MrN 12:38, Feb 21

I'll improve slowly at this...;) Also, can I create new archives themsleves at my preference?--Sycamore (Talk) 12:45, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

I think UU and me normally waited until the size warning box came up, I sometimes tried to get it to an even 50 pages per archive... Heck... It's your poop. Consider it at your disposal, don't forget the {{oldvfd}} tags though... MrN 13:07, Feb 21

Hi Mr Admin Man

Hello. How are you? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 12:57 21 February 2009

I know you just want me to ban you. I'm not going to. HA. Also, there are some new buttons here and there, so I'm pushing them to see what happens... As per usual. MrN 13:00, Feb 21

Ok so I've vandalised your page and started a small revert war. You have to ban me now. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 13:10 21 February 2009

/me yawns... MrN 13:13, Feb 21

Let's start a huge revert war! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:14, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Bring it bitch, I have rollback. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 13:15 21 February 2009

Me too. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:16, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Oh right It's just you're really slow to revert just then. I geuss you must have arthritis or something. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 13:17 21 February 2009

Fuck you! Arsehole! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:18, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Well I never... MrN 13:21, Feb 21

HAHAHA! Mordillo banned you! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:38, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

He banned you for longer! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 13:40 21 February 2009

And it felt sooo good! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 13:42, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Yayayayayayayayay!!!

Congrats on the oppage! What are you going to do now? —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:13, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Got a few ideas for things which need to be sorted out, but for a bit I'm just going to take it steady and get the a hang of things. MrN 15:17, Feb 21

You got opped? About damn time! -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:24, 21 Feb

I concur! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:24, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Apparently so. Have not seen UU online yet though... MrN 15:25, Feb 21

I popped in long enough to make you my very first ban - I'm faintly gutted not to have been yours, to be honest. Still, I'll just say strong about fucking time! Very glad to see you with admin powers, hopefully you'll balance out the colossal mistake they've made in giving 'em to me as well! --UU - natter 17:12, Feb 21

Yes, my thoughts for my first ban were in your direction, but having just made me a sysop someone drew my attention... Still, we need to be careful with the Cajek bans. There are not many left now until he reaches 100... MrN 17:17, Feb 21

I can has rollback nao :D -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:26, 21 Feb

? I thought you had it! I think Mordillo might be able to help with that. MrN 15:30, Feb 21

Dude, I don't even completely understand what rollback means! -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:32, 21 Feb

it makes reverting vandalism faster, but you have to know how to use it... Basically we only use it when it's obvious vandalism, and try to leave a reason (using undo) when it's not. MrN 15:36, Feb 21

Not got much to add here – what all those said ↑↑. Congrats on the long overdue opping, and long may the vandals be slain from a swipe of your banstick! –—Hv (talk) 21/02 18:27

Thanks. I think... MrN 18:29, Feb 21

Yeah, that was a lame attempt at being funny by me there. I'd go back and think of a better line if I could be arsed. And if I had a time machine, but that's just semantics. –—Hv (talk) 21/02 18:44

There are new buttons everywhere! Must push! MrN 18:47, Feb 21

I'd like two things from you now: rollback and regular joke bans. Can you hook me up? —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:05, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Me thinks you are talking to the wrong person. See what I was saying to Chris above ;) MrN 19:09, Feb 21

I still require regular joke bans, ploz. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:11, 21 February 2009 (UTC)

Welcome.

Welcome MrN9000.

Welcome!

Hello MrN9000, and welcome to Uncyclopedia!

So what's this message all about? Well, I know it looks like this was automatically generated, and well, OK... you caught me. I'm lazy, so I paste it in. But... if you have been sent this it does mean that I have noticed your contributions, and think that you're going to do some good stuff here. So who am I? Oh, just someone putting his nose in where it is probably not wanted...

Anyway, if you have not already, I SERIOUSLY recommend that you read the link below:

• Beginner's Guide

Probably the second most important link for a newcomer is:

• How to be funny and not just stupid - Basically it's a guide to writing humours articles which has been edited and improved over time by the users of this site. It's not an insult, and it's well worth a look.

If you want to find out how we decide which articles to feature on the front page, check out the VFH page. Basically, we vote for them. Anyone can vote. Especially you! You might find VFH a useful page to look over as it gives an idea of the kind of standard which you need to reach if you want to get an article featured.

If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia, try these:

• About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia
• How to get started editing
• Everything you ever wanted to know, but were afraid to ask
• Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
• Our Vanity Policies - stuff we don't care about
• The FAQs - a few commonly asked questions answered for your convenience

If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page (if this message has appeared in the last few minutes, I'm propablly still on-line). A list of administrators can be found here. If you think you are going to be around a while, and would like extra help on a more personal level, you just might be able to convince someone at the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program to take you under their wing. Browse our list of available mentors, and leave one of them a message on their talk page.

I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

Again, welcome!  -- MrN 00:00, Feb 23

Yes. Welcome MrN9000! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:07, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Would you be a dear?

Please just update this to this: Al Gore/Colonization|Al Gore Thanks! —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:39, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

God Dammit!!! Do what with a who where? Can I ban you for asking that? Did you bring any sausages? Um, yea, that thing... MrN 00:47, Feb 23

Are you asking me what I think you're asking me? And I'm still waiting for my ban. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:50, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

It's spectacular. Think I will keep it... MrN 00:53, Feb 23

Well, I'm glad you like it. Dammit, I wanted a joke ban. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:56, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

You should nominate that image. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:57, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

You should nominate that ass of yours. Yeah, back that shit up. —Sir SysRq (talk) 00:58, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I know I have an adorable ass. Now fuck that sissy up. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 01:01, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

What does that mean? That's just stupid, what you said. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:03, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

That's just stupid, what you said. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 01:04, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

If you didn't get me so hot and bothered, I wouldn't put up with you. —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:06, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Look. Don't you two start having sex or something on my talk page. I just had the carpet cleaned. MrN 01:09, Feb 23

Clever. How's that working out for you? —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:17, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

My carpet cleaning business you mean? It's going very well. I'm cleaning up. MrN 01:19, Feb 23

Weren't you a goat shagger? Wasn't SysRq a goat? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 01:20, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

No, I meant being clever. How's being clever working out for you? (also FU edit conflict) —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:21, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Also FU SysRq. Really I mean it! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 01:23, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I think that must have been a dream Sockpuppet... I don't understand what Sys is stalking about. MrN 01:24, Feb 23

Ah well... How do we know we're not living a dream right now? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 01:25, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

How do I know you're not all just my dream? —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:52, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind — driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. That you are a slave. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 03:47, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Frontpage feature

Hey MrN9000, could you feature the next article? Seeing how we're already a day behind... -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:06, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I think I did it right! MrN 00:47, Feb 23

Indeed you have. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:50, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Why?

Did you delete that image? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:32, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:Image use policy. MrN 15:37, Feb 23

Hey socky, did you just question a decision made by someone who is most certainly not a member of the non existent cabal? ~ 15:41, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Maybe? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

It's just a drawing, what's pornographic about that? -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:44, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I draw a line. That image was past it. My reasons are obvious Sockpuppet. If you have a problem with my decision I suggest you contact another admim. Otherwise, why are you here and asking me this? If you know of other images like this, post them on QVFD. MrN 15:50, Feb 23 15:50, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Okay, okay. I accept your decision. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 16:07, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I'm flattered. MrN 16:09, Feb 23

jack phoenix plcokeing people from creating a weegee article

are people familiar with the youtube poop meme weegee.a user jack phoenix is blocking people from creating an article based on himHe says something about recreating \crap.if people want to post crap on here,they should be free to do so.if the article gets huffed,its on them but they should have the freedom. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Jupiterfox (talk • contribs)

It must be Thursday already. MrN 16:45, Feb 23

Couldn't you just put the "Weegee" material in the Mama Luigi article? --Mnb'z 17:15, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Thanks,thats a great ideas.why didnt i think of that??still it would be kickass to a have an entire weegee page posted.

@ Uncyclopedia:VFH/123456789

wut u mean —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:07, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Pants. MrN 19:09, Feb 23

Like, was I not supposed to do that or something? —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:11, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Like, why the heck should you not be doing that? :P I'm using a new set-up here, and I think I got out of date or something. I had not noticed that you had already closed the nom. As I said. Pants. MrN 19:14, Feb 23

Indeed. I still don't regret vandalizing your userpage. You deserved it. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:35, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I think it's pretty hard for someone to vandalise it more now. It's awesome. MrN 19:37, Feb 23

Apparently Mordillo is joining in the fun. On the VFH page, that is. —Sir SysRq (talk) 19:52, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I think the nom is closed now. MrN 19:53, Feb 23

UN:POOP

Hopefully I'm doing alright so far with my new shitmunching role;) With the lounge can the resolved ones be archived - or should all the ones in a month be left until a new month?--Sycamore (Talk) 19:56, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I guess that's really up to you. It's handy to leave a few noms handing around as examples for others to follow, and so that people can see what kinda thing goes on in the room. As per the archiving. Sure! The only tricky thing to keep an eye on is adding the oldvfd templates, but I think you are getting em all. Sometimes when other admins archive (which sometimes happens) they don't remember to add the oldvfd... Kill them if this happens. UN:POOP is your room. You can do with it more or less what you want... I think we might need another smith, as 2 is better than one, but I'm not sure there... MrN 20:04, Feb 23

I think we got the good Rabbi to join in as well. I'll verify that with him. ~ 20:17, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

I have a strong preference for Rabbi, he's a top bloke. I seem to be able to be on top of it at the moment - there's no rush should Rabbi not be up for it straight away. Obviously we can always get down to having more, but I think I'm a pretty good "tool" for the job:)--Sycamore (Talk) 08:28, 24 February 2009 (UTC)

Handling poop? Sounds fun. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 20:25, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Why Block?

I know it's probably not any of my business, and I may not know the whole story but, I was wondering why your blocked IP 76.175.144.193 ? I looked at his/her contributions and olny saw one edit/blank. If you don't feel like responding I don't care, I just thought a banning of 1 year was a little exesive... --I am Justice! aka: Halsoft. 21:47, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

No. Thanks. MrN 22:00, Feb 23

Sometimes a dynamic IP will show up and it could be someone we've dealt with before, just with a new IP. Do not question the system. —Sir SysRq (talk) 22:54, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Do not question the cabal! Also, there is no cabal! -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 22:55, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

Thank you, Socky. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:05, 23 February 2009 (UTC)

'Scuse me your pantsness

I has a journalistic hat on right now as I'm doing a story on the latest oppings for the Signpost. Now, I'm fairly sure of getting a quote from the other guy, but I'd like a nice, juicy quote from you that all of our millions of readers worldwide can gape at in awe. If I don't get one to my satisfaction, I'll make something up and tell them you said it anyway. If I use the word "pants" in it, they'll probably believe me... --UU - natter 18:51, Feb 24

"I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing." MrN 18:55, Feb 24

Quick job, Mr Sysop?

This sounds slightly weird, but User:RAHB needs deleting so that User:RAHB . can be moved back there (bloody move page vandal fucking everything up). Could you use your fancy new powers on that please? –—Hv (talk) 24/02 22:13

Stepping up

So, you're stepping up from edit conflicting to ban conflicting now, are you? Right, there's only one way to deal with your kind:

• (Block log); 14:55 . . Under user (Talk | contribs | block) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (stealing all the bans - leave me some!)

(Thanks for doing the new admin stuff - I'm sooo busy at work right now. They found me!) --UU - natter 14:55, Feb 25

You got caught on Uncyc by the boss? HeHe. MrN 14:58, Feb 25

No, they just gave me enough work to last a month, and told me it has to be done by friday. Erk! --UU - natter 15:00, Feb 25

Hehe. I'm at school and the teacher has caught me several times now. —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:06, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

Well, my! Look how you've grown!

I member back when you were just a lil nooblet! (to me at least) Now you're an admin!!! That just goes to show how far a little bit of effort and a complete lack of maturity can get you in life!

Love your sexy sig. It makes me randy in my handy if you know what I'm sayin' ;)

XOXO ~Formerly Annoying Crap 20:34, 25 February 2009 (UTC)

PS

SHOW ME YOUR TITS!

I must say I admired your tits when we first met, and I can not deny that they have become a part of what I am. ;) Hea, seriously though, good to see ya! I remember you writing some good stuff, and you are an bit of an expert in templates... What have you got planned? MrN 20:37, Feb 25

*HOPEFULLY* I can write something funny today... I'm brainstorming right now. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 15:45, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

Check out Scatomancy when you have a few mins.  ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 20:24, 26 February 2009 (UTC)

I think it's hilarious. Seriously. Properly laughed reading the opening, and a few of the one liners later on. It's going to be a feature I think, whatever happens, but it's a bit sort on content. It needs more fibre. Maybe you have not been eating enough bran? MrN 01:49, Feb 27

Dude, this article has been 2 years in the making... I need a little help at this point - I'm not sure where else to expand... *help?* ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:04, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

It is awesome. As I said. I think the Famous Scatomancers section is not so good. The rest is brilliant, but that section to me does not work so well. Still if you just removed that last section I would vote for it just because the opening paragraph is so good. Still, those voters at VFH might want a bit more length. They might even use the "L" word at ya. You know what I mean... I will look at it some more, not sure if you hate any of my edits or not! rv em if they r bad. MrN 02:13, Feb 27

Please take another look, I moved everything around... ~Formerly Annoying Crap 04:09, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Is that bot still broken?

Latest issue awaits his attention, if not. --UU - natter 10:46, Feb 26

Thanks, and also thanks for spotting the date thingy and making me look marginally less incompetent! --UU - natter 11:27, Feb 26

It's nice to be able to change the paper after you have already started sending it out... MrN 11:29, Feb 26

UnSignpost 26th February 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail

February 26, 2009 • Issue 36 • Picking the poppy seeds of truth from the teeth of the news

Imperial Coloni(s|z)ation For Glorification of Motherwiki By Gerrycheevers Imperial Colonization made yet another triumphant return this week, after several months of languishing, inactivity, and Richard Nixon. Upon a general query from an annoying masked UnSignpost writer, another anonymous user stepped up and took control. That anonymous user is SysRq. Forums were created, ideas were exchanged, and the Cajek search party was sent out again. Only the last one was in vain, as an all-new Colonisation page was rolled out last week. Uncyclopedians wasted no time in signing up and nominating their first target: the utter garbage pile that was Al Gore. Previously containing banal tripe such as Manbearpig references, internet invention claims, lockbox bollocks, and other assorted drivel, the article is now, according to an official Colonization spokesman, "well on its way to not sucking." Future Colonisations have been lined up as well, leading this reporter to believe that this time around, Colonization is here to stay, even moreso that Manforman or the Poison Pee template. It looks as if the article on Jews is next on the Colonisation docket, since all articles relating to that topic are "utter bilge, consumed with hateful pointlessness and also secretly controlled by Jews." British Infiltration of Non-Existent Cabal Continues at VFS by UU Talking of organisations secretly controlled by Jews, the non-existent Uncyclopedia Cabal was expanded ahead of schedule to the tune of two brand new British admins at the weekend. The early opping was due to two factors, firstly, an unprecedented landslide, with two candidates polling so many votes that the final round was rendered an irrelevance, and secondly, new 'crat Mordillo being impatient to use his whizzy new powers to op the new admins before Codeine or Mhaille beat him to it. The most votes were polled by MrN9000, and your USP can't think of a more deserving recipient of a shiny new banstick. He's already thrown himself into his new role with gusto, banning, deleting, featuring and the like with gusto, and proudly declaring "I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing", thus showing he has as much grasp of the role already as any other admin. The numbers were made up by fellow limey Under user, who has been keen to get started using his whizzy new powers, but has been limited to mainly joke bans so far by MrN's astounding competence and annoying habit of doing all the work. UU was unavailable for comment (which is odd, seeing as he's writing this), but his wife had this to say: "you bastards! Do you have any idea what you've done? I'll be lucky to see him for more than about half an hour a week now!" She wasn't joking.

Check out these pages! Is this something to do with us being the worst? I want candy No pain, no gain From our logs new admins bumper special: 05:09, 24 February 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 142.207.115.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blocking you for a day because I feel like it (and also because you blanked California)) 19:44, 21 February 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a slightly torn pair of pants ‎ (Happy adminship, fucker <3) 16:40, 21 February 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a brand new pair of admin pants ‎ (let's see, who to ban first... Cajek? Too obvious. Mordillo? See last comment. MrN? Yeah! Oh, and about damn time you got this - how come they gave it to me too?) 10:58, 21 February 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) resurrected Mordillo (Talk | contribs) ‎ (his first ban is the crat who gave him powers. my sort of chap) 10:54, 21 February 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Rogue Admin) 10:15, 21 February 2009 Modusoperandi (Talk | contribs) blocked 124.184.94.78 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Ne habla gibberish) Biopic of the Week Sockpuppetry is normally frowned on here at Uncyclopedia, with bans routinely handed out to those who transgress. There are no exceptions. The exception, of course, is Sockpuppet of an unregistered user, a sock who seems to have its head sewn on the right way, or at least drawn on with permanent marker in the right way. He makes his presence felt by fighting vandalism wherever it rears its ugly head, and generally making himself helpful around the wiki. A helpful sockpuppet? Got to be one of the signs of an impending apocalypse! Explanation of the week This week, there will be no Cajek ban of the week. This is because Manticore decided to ban him in the hope of making it into your UnSignpost, and we're not gonna give that big ol' whore the satisfaction. You hear me, Manty? YOU'RE NEVER GETTING IN THIS... Oh shit.

Judges Wanted! The next PLS is impending, and the are still judging slots unfilled. Hv is looking for users who are opinionated, who think that those opinions matter, and who want to give the benefit of those opinions to many in the form of passing judgement on articles. Enjoy the temporary sensation of power! Impress your friends! Alienate those whose articles you don't favour! Sign up now! UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  11:22, Feb 26

Hello,

I'm not from Mythbusters, I'm I'm tying to figure out if the myth that "if you spam an admin's page, you will get b7'd. Let's begin. BEGINAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you. Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 02:20, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Have some spam.MrN 02:24, Feb 27

Thanks, but I'm full. I really must get back to work.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Okay, that ought to be enough. Hit me with your best shot! Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 02:35, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Learn how it's done, noob. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:37, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Dude. I will make you archive this talk page next time it needs doing! MrN 02:39, Feb 27

0 RLY? M3H, T3H N00B? Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 02:53, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Also, Mr. 9000 is gay... is another myth I was supposed to bust. Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 02:53, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

Keep up with current events. MrN 03:01, Feb 27

Yo MrN, cheers for featuring my article. But I think you also have to impose a fancy blue template on my user page to remind people that I'm awesome, or something. Also, featured articles are normally protected while they are on the front page I think. Happy admin-stuff-ing, and congratulations on the promotion. IronLung 11:25, 27 February 2009 (UTC)

I think you'll find that articles are protected on featuring unless they are featured by MrN, in which case they are left to fend for themselves! ;-) Also, you can bestow that MrPotatohead template on your own page if you want, no need to wait for an admin to do it... --UU - natter 12:28, Feb 27

Mwahahahaha!

Did you enjoy my vandalism? No? Too bad, because there are two other people still suffering from it. You may/may not want to help them. I am evil. Sir Not A Good Username360 KUN 03:48, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

Can I have a hug? -- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 06:00, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

Can you catch anything from a hug? Cos I'm contagious. MrN 16:15, Feb 28

Hey

Got a minute? -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:09, 28 Feb

Um? If you are talking IRC, I can't get in there at the moment. What's up? MrN 16:11, Feb 28

Erm, yeah IRC. Wanted some privacy. It can wait I guess. -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:12, 28 Feb

It's cool. Not much I can do right now. Your article will do well, I'm sure. ;) MrN 16:26, Feb 28

K, thanks. Normally I wouldn't care, but looking at his contributions... I'm probably just paranoid. :D -OptyC Sucks! CUN16:27, 28 Feb

You wanna maybe have a word with this guy about the three crap pee reviews he's done in the last fifteen minutes? -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:26, 28 Feb

Hea. I could do, but it just looks like he needs to read UN:PRG. As a PEEING member yourself, you are allowed to ask him to read the guidelines. If ya really want me to, I will do this, but it's better if you do it... MrN 22:18, Feb 28

WTF

really why did you delete my article,Guitar Tabs it was funny as shit you deleted cmon it was really fucking funny I worked for a long time on that! Please it was a good contribution to the site I referred it to 7 of my friends they all like it I swear if you dont un-huff it I'm gone.--Camred 23:25, 28 February 2009 (UTC)

Threatening sysops: always a good decision. Your article will probably be restored since you asked so nicely, but may I recommend starting your articles in your userspace next time? —Sir SysRq (talk) 01:36, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

I deleted it because you had not worked on it for 1 week and it looked like you had abandoned it. It needs a lot of work before it's suitable to be in the main space. I have put a copy of the article in your users space here. You can work on it there. Please ask me before you move it back to the main space, and I will look it over. MrN 10:12, Mar 1

Really cmon I mean I wanted it to be in the main space. Really, many articles are just as long and some are even shorter but they are in the main space, I hadn't worked on it in a week because I realized that everytime I did it would be a week before it went into the main space. I thought it was done....--Camred 17:03, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

hay whats with changing my article tag its not fake and i found it [[1]] so cheek around next time before taking stuff off --Fire wolf 17:49, 12 March 2009 (UTC)

sup srry about the .hack//sign pics but you changed them well i was editing so they may be the wrong size agin--Fire wolf 22:19, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

NP. I did think about slapping a maintainable tag on this article actually, but hea... You are still working it it so it's no problem. It does need a deal more work though. The formatting needs attention but also the actual content would benefit from attention. Have you read HTBFANJS yet? Seriously, take a look. It will help you write better. Have fun. MrN 22:24, Mar 13

Question about being "BFI"

Apart from being somewhat infectious. I have no idea what-so-ever about what "Bat-F*** insane" because the tag is so random that I get nothing but "Bat-F***-insanity" out of it. And the BFI page is no help, thats as BFI as the tag and everything else.--Gondana 04:58, 1 March 2009 (UTC)

It means that we have photographs of you having sex with a bat. Worrying eh? MrN 10:13, Mar 1

Bot Work, Animal Image Categories

Template for reference

Spang was suggested the animal images should be in "cat-all" categories in addition to the subcategories. Would your bot be able to add categories to images easily? (Basically, the bot would need to get a list of images out of a category, then add a category to each image on said list.)

Also, I'm sorta hesitant to have the whatnot/presort category being the same as the cat-all category. Do you think categories like, say "Category:Mammal Images (catchall)" would work? (These would be linked to from the template). That way, "Category:Mammal Images" could still function as whatnot/presort without being overwhelmed by already subcategorized images. --Mnb'z 03:57, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Yea, it can get list of articles from "what links here", categories and such. It can do search/replace or append operations. I'm not sure what you are suggesting though. Probably cos it's past my bed time... MrN 04:11, Mar 2

Unfortunately, I have the flu right now, so I'm not that coherent either. see User talk:Mnbvcxz#You know for what I'm talking about. --Mnb'z 17:49, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm starting to catch up... But the bit I don't understand is "Basically, the bot would need to get a list of images out of a category, then add a category to each image on said list.) " Can you tell me a bit more exactly what needs to be done? What categories? Also, if you are interested in running your own bot, research AWB on Wikipedia... That's what I use for MrN9001. If you are confident with computers, it's not that hard to use. MrN 18:00, Mar 2

How do you get it to run on uncyclopedia? --Mnb'z 18:31, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Nevermind, I think I got it figured out, more or less. However, I need authorization to use it. Can Admins give that authorization, or only staff? --Mnb'z 18:46, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

To get AWB to work on Uncyc, you will need to have your name added to a sysop protected page. I forget where that is, I will try and look it up. That does not get you the bot flag though, just the ability to run AWB on Uncyc. To get a bot flag (which hides the edits on recent changes) you would need to create a new account (probably Mnbvcxzl?) and talk to Sannse who can issue that account with the bot flag... You can use AWB using your "main" account if you want to, but you would spam RC. If you get as far as actually getting AWB running, when you try and save a page, I think it gives you an error telling which sysop protected page needs to be edited... MrN 19:24, Mar 2

Found it: Uncyclopedia:AutoWikiBrowser/CheckPage--Mnb'z 19:39, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

I added ya. AWB takes a bit of getting used to. Took me a while. It's got lots of settings which need to be right. As you understand I'm sure, this is something which one needs to be careful with... Without the bot flag you will not be able to run in auto mode, so it's less dangerous as you can check every edit. Generally, I check ever edit except when delivering the paper... Which hopefully you can do this week! MrN 20:57, Mar 2

BTW, can you add my bot, MnbvcxzBot to that list? --Mnb'z 22:47, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Ok, Sannse said I need get "community agreement for a bot" in the village dump. Could you post something there for me, I would do it myself, but it might like look "whoring". --Mnb'z 17:17, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

NM, it looks like Mordillo said something to Sannse on her talk page. --Mnb'z 17:31, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Boobs

Can you tell me why this article is in a userspace? And just who do I have to blow to move up in rank around here? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:38, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Hmm, not sure what's going on there. Looks like an attempt by someone to own our boobs! I will move it back. As per the BJs... Mordillo and Under user recently got married, so they are probably most in need... MrN 19:17, Mar 2

O_O ~ 19:22, 2 March 2009 (UTC)

Need help (How to remove "Contents" section?)

I need to make some touch up to my Rorschach's Journal. Somehow, I am clueless and I need professional 1337 help to remove the "Contents" section off the page. Help pls!--A. SHePerD 11:11, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Insert the code __NOTOC__ anywhere on the page. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 11:16, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks pal! --A. SHePerD 11:24, 3 March 2009 (UTC)

I am a noob.

Hello I am a noob.

Adopt me please. I'm a really bright kid with alot of potential and I need an experienced cool dude like you to train me in the ways of writing silly articles.

I have a large background in comedy so I know what's funny. I watch movies...I watch Monty Python movies and smoke...those are my qualifications.

Thanks.

Hope you adopt me.

Cya. --StonedJeff 03:28, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Hea, I will keep an eye out for ya. MrN 17:26, Mar 4

That's rad thanks.

Pants?

Just out of curiosity, is the cabal planning on implementing the pants template anytime soon. Its been a while since you proposed it, and I haven't heard anything about it. --Mnb'z 05:58, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

I was wondering when you were going to ask me about that... Um... Give me a bit. MrN 17:25, Mar 4

VFD - current types of nominations etc.

I have some "concerns" - would you be able to pop into the IRC:)?--Sycamore (Talk) 16:54, 4 March 2009 (UTC)

Rail No.9

The article Rail No.9 has been expanding, according to the expansion on the Traditional Chinese version (zh-tw:軌角九號). Please give a excuse!

Jacaranda 17:14, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

Hea. I have moved it into your user space for you here. It needs a fair bit more work before it will be ready for the main space. Good luck. MrN 08:11, Mar 6

signpost

hello good sir. might your pet bot be available for distributing this week's propaganda flyers? thanks. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 18:12, 5 March 2009 (UTC)

My bot can, if he's busy. --Mnb'z 07:33, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Go for it! MrN 08:11, Mar 6

Ah, I have got a bit of time now, I will do it. You can get there first next week. ;) Have fun. MrN 13:35, Mar 6

Bot Issue

For some reason, when I log in as my bot, it doesn't show the bot tab: the bot tab disappears when I log on. So basically, I can't run it in auto mode, I can only run it in semiautomatic mode.

I had the same trouble earlier today, but it started working somehow. I tried re-installing, playing with the settings, et cetera, but nothing worked. Has that ever happened with your bot? I think it might be "thinking" its in a semi-auto mode only, since I used it in semi-auto mode last night on my user account. --Mnb'z 06:43, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Its back now, and I believe I figured out my problem. I think the bot tab is auto disabled if the bot is less than a week old, or if it has fewer than 100 edits (I read that somewhere, either wikipedia or wikimedia, or maybe wikia). Anyway, since I like to clear my history, it probably "lost track" of the edits, and thought it was a "new" bot.

For future reference, one needs to log and log back in after 100 (or so) semi-auto edits, or once the "bot timer" in the lower left hand corner reappears. --Mnb'z 07:30, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Hea. The disappearing bot tab is something I have not seen. I know you need to be a user who has the bot flag to get it. That means you will not have it with Mnbvcxz, but MnbvcxzBot should have it all the time. If you have figured out how to deliver the sign post (using append) then go ahead an deliver it! MrN 08:05, Mar 6

UnSignpost 5th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Th-the m-m-most con-confident new-Newspaper in a wh-while

March 5, 2009 • Issue 37 • The News, Smelted to 93% Purity!

New parser causes havoc by requiring Uncyclopedians to get things right by UU The latest Mediawiki update imposed on Uncyclopedia by its despotic overlords, Wikia, has had a catastrophic effect. The new parser, described by UnSignpost technical expert Gerrycheevers as "little gnomes in your browser that run between HTML tags to produce the proper effect in between" has thrown the formatting of quite literally some Uncyclopedia pages completely out of kilter. Resident tame Wikia staffer Sannse tried to explain: "bad HTML is the most likely cause of errors. But there are some other changes that might cause errors. For example, the way that some complex parser tags work has changed. The best thing to do is to look for HTML problems first (not forgetting that the errors are often in templates used on the page). Then, if you can't find it, hassle anyone you know who knows HTML and wikimarkup better than you (nah, not going to link some poor guy). Then, if you can't find it, hassle me to find help (Uberfuzzy is on standby to assist where needed). Again I'd suggest that the template author should be the person who knows how to make it work!" Most Uncyclopedians had already gone cross-eyed by this point, but she gamely continued: "Don't forget that you can use Special:ParserDiffTest as a help in finding exactly what's different on a page. A lot of the changes don't mean anything. For example, on this page the only differences are to class and section titles. But this one shows problems with center and div tags (the last two green sections on the div)". Your USP offers the following, less confusing advice: if you open any kind of tag in html like <this>, you have to close it again, like </this> before the end of your page. And if you open more then one tag, be sure to close them in the right order <like><this></this></like>. Then shit should not get fucked up. The gnomes were unavailable for comment. February '... of the Month' Awards Hoedown by Gerrycheevers Well, February is over, and that means it's time to look back at the shortest month of the year and make fun of people who won awards during that month, for they have only won 90.32% as much recognition as those who won the award during a robust 31-day month. Let's get started with... DrStrange, our newest Writer of the Month, fresh off his NotM victory in December, is a welcome addition to our close, close family of editors who have never had any physical contact with each other. Since joining, the good doctor has written several featured articles, and is well on his way to another. He has enjoyed perhaps the quickest transition ever from NotM to WotM, but don't expect us to go looking things up to confirm that. February's Uncyclopedian of the Month was our lovable Wikia dictator, Sannse. Donning her staff hat and Wikia mystic power staff, Sannse always manages to be polite and cheery, even when sending vandal IPs to their doom, tacking notices to the corkboard in the Uncyc break room that incite site-wide user rebellion, and crushing the earlier mentioned site-wide user rebellions. Our N00b of the Month was a chap by the name of Guildensternenstein, which we have come to believe is some sort of undead monster from a Shakespeare play. His impressive work in his short time here, along with his other helpful contributions such as dropping by Pee Review and Imperial Colonisation from time to time, should quiet up those doomsayers who say "we don't have any good n00bs anymore" for quite some time.

Check out these pages! Masturbating Monkey Hang on, someone really tried it? {{username}} strikes again again From our logs: 09:02, 5 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.160.35.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (thanks for your thoughtful and insightful additions, and your considerate removing of content, you win a free day off! (don't blank)) 13:36, 3 March 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Mordillo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a torah, two bagels and a large blue yamulke ‎ (Unblocked too early. I suspect a Jewish conspiracy!) 19:28, 2 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked MTTB (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (possibly one day people will start reading messages I leave for them on the talk page. YOU. DO. NOT. REVERT. ME. WITHOUT. TALKING. WITH. ME.) 06:44, 2 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 67.225.120.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And I'm going to rape you if you don't shut up. *takes his first ever swig of Jack Daniels, throws up*) Biopic of the Week Optimuschris ~ "Having been around for a while now, Opty deserves some recognition," said the newest UnSignpost intern, pictured at the right. He went on in his monotonous, metallic voice: "He has a featured article and another in the works. He contributes to bettering the site via Pee Review and Imperial Colonization." We were going to agree with the robot-ish fellow, but when we turned back, he was gone. But there was a refrigerator there we hadn't noticed before... Old-School Featured Article of the Week The Keep Your Finger In The Box Game has been a smash hit among the rainy-day crowd since its introduction to America in 1954. Despite the title of the game, the object is to not take your finger out of the box before your opponent does. The article contains a rich history of the game, as well as a detailed strategy list involving cats, seduction, and urine-filled projectiles. Cajek ban of the week None. Seriously, it hasn't happened. Not banning Cajek is the new banning Cajek. New poopsmith of the week RabbiTechno has taken up his new position as co-processor of shit on the wiki alongside some scrote whose name escapes us briefly - perhaps because he hinted he wanted a story about himself in this edition. The good Rabbi has so far been diligently watching his sidekick do all the donkey work, while conducting the far harder task of making sure it has all been done properly. He exclusively didn't tell the Signpost: "yup, looks good enough to me".

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  13:55, Mar 6

fuckin wasteman

who made you king of cuntville schools bit was jokes why delete it? gett a life serious. – Preceding unsigned comment added by 194.73.190.34 (talk • contribs)

Oh, yes! You are right. How could I have made such a terrible mistake. I will fix it right away! On the other hand... MrN 14:57, Mar 6

I actually made him king of cuntville. Respect your king. —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:12, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Pants

Also, have you seen this? ~ 15:01, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Um, not until you pointed it out! Um? Um? Um? MrN 15:04, Mar 6

You have a fan. Or a stalker. ~ 15:09, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm guessing it's both... MrN 15:11, Mar 6

I'm having sex with two steaks right now. —Sir SysRq (talk) 15:14, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

Make a vote!

Dear MrN9000, someone has made a nomination for my article. Make a vote, a yay or a nay. Every vote counts. --A. SHePerD 03:32, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Make a vote!

Dear MrN9000, someone has made a nomination for my article. Make a vote, a yay or a nay. Every vote counts. --A. SHePerD 03:32, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks Pa

Achtung! Your support for the Nazi party has been documented. Danke shein. That vill be all.

-OptyC Sucks! CUN18:03, 7 Mar

*Wipes tear from eye, sniffs* MrN 18:34, Mar 7

SpongeBop

I wanna move it back. Please help! Fix this mess. I need help. I made a load of shit here! Accont101 19:55, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Yea, um? Could you give me some links? What do you want to be moved to where? MrN 20:00, Mar 7

"SpongeBop SquarePants" needs to be moved back to "SpongePop ShitPants". I though it would be better to move it to the real name, but I misspelled it, and the real one won't move, so I tryed moving back, but I can't. Accont101 20:15, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Done? For future reference, all you really needed to do was get the redirect deleted. If you post it on QVFD with a comment explaining the situation an admin could delete it, and you could move the article back... MrN 20:46, Mar 7

Greetings

I've noticed that Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/10-02-08 is screwing up people's talk pages. (And for some reason, UU protected all the UnSignposts.) If you can do something about it'd be greatly appreciated. (It's probably just some unclosed tag.) -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:07, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

User talk:Rataube is making me nauseous. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:18, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

I don't think it's just that one. It appears to happen all over the place. Bugger. MrN 23:20, Mar 7

The other problematic issues appear to be from June 12th, 2008 and earlier. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:25, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Cool. Dam tags. MrN 23:27, Mar 7

I think adding "</span><span>" in front of the </div>'s at the end should solve the problem. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:28, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

What you can't edit protected pages? What's wrong with you man! Pull yourself together! mumble mumble MrN 23:30, Mar 7

Incidentally, because I fixed the tags, that UnSignpost is now made up out of "9001 bytes". Almost as if MrN9001 is destined to fix this... -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:31, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Can you see any others? MrN 23:39, Mar 7

June 12th, 2008 and June 19th, 2008 seem to be the troublemakers. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:44, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Links: Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/05-43-08 and Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/6-19-08. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:47, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:UnSignpost/05-15-08 is another bad one. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 23:54, 7 March 2009 (UTC)

I was working through User talk:Cajek where this is (I think) a complete list. I think they are all fixed now... MrN 23:57, Mar 7

Yep, everything is great now. I wish you the best, MrN9000. I'm going to bed now. Goodnight. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 00:02, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Considering how helpful you were last night, you definitely deserve this:

Sockpuppet of an unregistered user has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

-Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 11:15, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh thanks! Don't mention last night. It was my pleasure. That thing with the UnSignpost was a bugger also. MrN 14:34, Mar 8

Teletubbies

The article has a see also which is a self redirect. Can you remove it and possibly make this article any better to stop that crazy person (or save any, if there were any) of his edits that were good enough? And thanks for the advice. Accont101 00:49, 8 March 2009 (UTC)

Mmmm cookie

Thanks for the cookie. I have moved the old Talk:Jew page here. Hopefully now the comments will be regarding mainly the new Colonized article so we can get more accurate feedback and collaboration on the Work In Progress. I'd contribute more to the writing of the new article myself, but not being Jewish (I was raised Protestant)I don't feel like I know enough about the topic to be humorous. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:30, 9 March 2009 (UTC)

Not knowing about the subject is no reason not to edit! You must know Jewish people? The last thing we want is for the Jew article to be written just by Jews! Go edit it! MrN 03:33, Mar 9

On Merging

I tried working on merging King Harkinian and King of Hyrule. However, I ran into a problem, the "King Harkinian" was almost a wikipedia article, while the "King of Hyrule" was a "name drop/this guy had gay sex with everybody" type article. Basically, I rewrote the "King Harkinian" article with almost no material for the "King of Hyrule" article. I don't think the "King of Hyrule" article has much of value, but I'm hesitant to call it a "merging" if the new article only takes material from one source. What's the "policy" on that issue? --Mnb'z 03:08, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

I'm not really sure what you are asking me. It probably does not matter if it's called a merge or not in my view. We have/had two similar articles and you appear to have sorted that out. My understanding is that in such a case the poorer of the two articles (obviously the one you did not fix) would be put onto VFD and removed if appropriate. Is that what you were asking? MrN 11:54, Mar 10

Yes, that's what I was asking, more or less. --Mnb'z 14:30, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Purim Greetings and Jeezspliff image

Mad Mike "Moishe" Tyson does it, so you should too!

Yes - it's Purim already, so be like
Mike and eat some ears today!

It's the only time of year when being a Jew is fun!
Chag Purim Sameach from Rabbi Techno

---

(Been giving this to various non-Jewish users, so here ya go).

The Jeezspliff.gif is not original, though you're the second person to ask within the last few weeks. I found it online somewhere or other. Have you got plans for it? :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:03, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, thank you very much! RE the image... Not really. I just thought that it was really good, and would have put it up for VFP if it was your own work. Dam funny image! MrN 11:58, Mar 10

B-b-b-b-but...

I didn't MEAN to mess his page like that (Todd Lyons I believe his name is); however, he leaves a link for asking questions and that is precisely what I did. Clicked the 'Ask a Question' heading; promptly asked a question. No messin' up intended, I just want to know how to get a nice signature like all the cool people! In the meantime all I have is this mostrosity... --Noamshouseparty 21:31, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Which bit of this don't you understand? Anyway... Tell you what, have a word with a friend of mine. She is an expert in sigs, leave a message on her talk page and I'm sure she will be able to sort you out. MrN 21:36, Mar 10

Yeah it is pretty simple. Not sure how I managed to f### that one up. In my defence, I was saying Boo-urns. --noamshouseparty 19:29, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Cool. I think you had a problem with your sig code, so I sorted it for you... Have fun. MrN 19:32, Mar 11

That'll do it. Qagaasakuq [2]. --noamshouseparty 21:32, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

I see you already created a sig subpage, all you need to do is add is "{{subst:nosubst|User:Noamshouseparty}}" in that signature box and mark the little thingy below it. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 21:44, 10 March 2009 (UTC)

Today is a special day!

You nommed it, and so I really made this just for you! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 08:40, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Monkey disease

This is an old one, what happened to it... can you dig it up??? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:45, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Um, the old version was deleted at VFD apparently. I can restore it for you, but only to userspace. You will have to improve it a lot before it can be moved to mainspace. MrN 18:54, Mar 11

I'm new to this restoring thing. Hopefuly that will do for you. Don't you go being naughty and moving it to mainspace without sorting it out though. Or you will be in trouble with the naughty police. MrN 19:01, Mar 11

LOLZ. Thanks, but this was never mine - I was just wondering what happened to it. A noob wrote it, actually - before I started adopting. Thanks again, but can you huff it now?  ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:35, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, you could have found out that by checking the logs! Or specifically the what links here of the page which would have given you a link to the VFD vote. /me slaps Zana. MrN 19:38, Mar 11

OOH! Again, and harder!!! (Turns the other cheek ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 19:53, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Obamanism

Obamanism was deleted a while ago, but there's now an article called Obamunism. I'd like the content of that previously deleted article to improve Obamunism. You don't need to recreate it, just pasting the content in Obamunism is all I ask. I'll try to combine the two articles into one. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 19:49, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

Trousers. MrN 19:57, Mar 11

Pants. Thanks. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 19:59, 11 March 2009 (UTC)

thanks for not deleting my sally acorn article.

hey man thanks for not deleting the sally acorn article I made and putting it on my userpage to its edit it.you say too random to stay on the main page.??how less random do you want it.i dont wanna make something that is completely true.this site is called uncyclopedia.no offense but why make a more truthful article about a character like sally acorn on this site.if people wanna read a true article dont they just go to wikipedia or somethin for that .ill try to make my sally article less random.but i just think it will make it less funny. – Preceding unsigned comment added by Jupiterfox (talk • contribs)

Great question. That's why we have a guide which answers exactly that question. Here it is!. Read it. ;) MrN 16:35, Mar 12

hey mrN9000, I editited the sally acorn article THAT YOU PUT IN MY userpage a little.I included some factual information about her.Check my user page and see if its ready to be put on the mainspace. --Jupiterfox

Hea. Well, you obviously intend to keep working on this so yea... No problem I have moved it back. It's still in need of more work though. Did you read that HTBFANJS thing? I would recommend the following for this article: Read back through and remove some of the content. I'm sure you know which parts are better than others, so be merciless with it. If it's not so good hack it out. Less is often more and such... The formatting also needs attention, and it would benifit from a few more pictures. Also, try to keep it to just 1 or 2 red links per page, as any more than that and it starts to look bad. You might be interested to read Tails the Straight, this is another article from the sonic series which is actually a very good example of an article about a game character. I think your article is still a bit on the random side, but hea... I'm not going to keep poking ya in the ribs about this any more. Nice one. MrN 21:48, Mar 13

Hey.

Douche. I'm only back for today just to revert idiots who changed my comedic gold... Shut up. I noticed this. Since I ain't been active, I ain't sure if ZB is active. Either way, this needs to be restored to the last version by me. I guess some idiot vandalised it and added a maintenance template. Only thing I can think of. Restore it. Since you're on and all. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:11, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Well aren't you the demanding one! Anyone would think I banned you or something... MrN 21:49, Mar 13

To locate templates in new pages

Place this snippet in your JS file:

 document.write('<script type="text/javascript" src="'
 + 'http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Zocky/SearchBox.js' 
 + '&action=raw&ctype=text/javascript&dontcountme=s"></script>');

~ 15:39, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh, thanks but... "Wikipedia does not have a user page with this exact name. Before creating this page, please see Wikipedia:Subpages." Did I miss something? MrN 22:13, Mar 13

Course, we both knew about the combo box at the top of new pages which allows you to view different namespaces. We were obviously just testing... Test passed everyone. Congratulations. MrN 06:32, Mar 14

I'm not sure what that js stuff would do, but Mordillo probably meant http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:Zocky/SearchBox.js (without the ' at the end). -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 08:27, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

signpost

hey MrN, fresh signpost is ready for delivery. only 1.5 days late! can you and your sidekick oblige? thanks! SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 20:56, 13 March 2009 (UTC)

Hurray! Gerry to the rescue! MrN 21:50, Mar 13

UnSignpost 12th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Free Newspaper Only Two People Started Out Editing, But Now They Want Nothing To Do With!

March 10th, 2009 • Issue 38 • Mucking up your talk page, one issue at a time

CONSPIRACY!!! By Gerrycheevers WE ARE DOOMED! Head for the hills, Uncyclopedia users, there's nothing that can save us now! As of this morning, we NO LONGER EXIST!!! Now, if you are reading this, you may be thinking to yourself, "why, that Gerry fellow is quite mad. Since I am reading the UnSignpost now, then both I and Uncyclopedia must still exist." To this i say to you: THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK. Furthermore, it is also WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK THEY THINK YOU THINK. Reactions were mixed today at the wiki. Some theorized that uncyclopedia.wikia.com was, in fact, sinking. In response to this, the women (all 3 of them) and children were loaded onto lifeboats and fired out of the lifeboat-cannon, in hopes that they would land far away enough from the landlocked Uncyc as to find a body of water. Other preparations included the Cajek string quartet playing rousing versions of traditional ship-sinking music. While it might seem rash for an official non-cabal-run periodical to endorse panic, the UnSignpost urges all Uncyclopedia users to abandon all reason and logic in an attempt to save themselves. The best course of action is most likely the one that involves the maximum amount of screaming, arm-flailing, and general insanity. The Uncyclopedia Store is likely to be looted quickly, so be sure to stop by early to maximize you chances at getting the best stuff. Count to a Million: Update By Gerrycheevers Uncyclopedians have continued their brave foray into the dangerous world of numbers, today reaching the long-awaited benchmark of 3,239. The constitutes nearly 1/300th of the total goal, meaning we are 0.32% of the way there! Users were overjoyed, confused, and generally apathetic about the achievement. Since its inception on February 20th, 2008, many different counters, or 'c-ters' as they refer to themselves, have contributed to the project. The content of the countup has varied greatly, from battleships to cartoon characters to road signs, and yet never deviating very far away from pornography. At any rate, it seems Uncyclopedia admin and Chair of the Committee to Investigate and Eliminate Needless Committees Spang's experiment to destroy the internet has not succeeded...yet. The project has advanced at a rate of 8.39 numbers per day, a respectable clip considering the enormous effort involved in adding the next number in the sequence. At this brisk clip, the project will reach completion at 18:45 UT on June 24, 2334. Until that day, Uncyclopedians can only hope, dream, and continue in the increasingly difficult task of adding one to a moderately large number.

Check out these pages! Silliness Pointlessness Eyerapeness From our logs: 23:47, 9 March 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 72.23.110.230 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Blanking 'please don't delete this page'--my favorite part about that idea was how original it was.) 04:39, 10 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked CS SHITTY (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (HOLY SHIT WHERE ARE YOU MONGOLOIDS COMING FROM?!?!?!?!?!!?!) 16:08, 10 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 168.170.199.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ ("He who shall be an idiot shall be striked down with furious anger". Book of Mordillo, chapter one verse 3) 10:52, 11 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.89.227.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (we apologise for taking so long to ban you, but we get there in the end. also, I think you'll find it is you who loves the cock.) Biopic of the Week Guildensternenstein ~ With one of the hardest usernames to spell correctly (and not one that's hard but fun, like some users), Guildie has splashed upon the Uncyc scene with a gusto. Displaying a knack for writing humor (the main prerequisite to be considered "ballin'" by fellow Uncyclopedians), he also takes part in the current trends of Pee Review and Imperial Colonization, making him popular and, thus, cooler than you. Old-School Featured Article of the Week This is it. The big one. The greatest article in Uncyclopedia history...Bears. Yes, these foraging lunatics are masters of cryogenics, and will stop at nothing in their quests for honey, human flesh, and pic-a-nic baskets. Cajek ban of the week 15:14, 6 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 24 seconds ‎ (I am very troubled by the fact you were not banned in a while. Has the community given up on you???)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  21:37, Mar 13

Eeeps!

I was reading through the block log out of some inexplicable reason and a question popped to my mind. "Daddy's been promoted to admin, and I've had no idea. I could have started pushing my limits with an authoritative parent ages ago, but he didn't tell me, so I stayed a good girl and never wasted my Uncyc youth on being a brat. Dang!" Bad, bad, Daddy... ;) -> Late congradumalations!

Love, -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:01, 13 Mar

Hea there young lady. "Congratulations"? Not sure about that one... You know the thing where all the admins complain about how being an admin sux? Well... It does have its down side... Still now I can ban you if you don't put your toys away so it's not all bad. Hope you and yours are well and such... MrN 22:06, Mar 13

Hmmm... I'm almost sure I put the dildo away after using it. Honest.... And as comes to mine... the cat burned himself trying to get to a frying pan with eggs (sunny side up is how I like them!) and stepped on the hot stove, so I call him Mr. Limpy now. As comes to what little I've seen back here at Uncyc recently... Sabba reserved the right to ban me if I cuddle other admins, and what else... oh, I still haven't won a lottery or inherited a rich uncle I never knew I had. Since I don't have any, though I was kinda hoping for some extra cash... :( Oh, and as far as work goes, Friday 13th on duty sucks. However now I've got my very own brand spankin' new bulletproof vest. So I'll be safe even outside my normal dispatch job... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 23:17, 13 Mar

Mr Limpy eh... Now I could just... No. Stop that MrN... Nice to see you around MrN 23:21, Mar 13

I refuse to even consider there being a less than innocent meaning to that nickname. At least he isn't an eunuch yet. That day will come soon enough, too. :D

And it's nice to be around occasionally, even just to spam your talk page and distract you from important sounding duties no-one else supposedly can do. *hugs* And now, I shall have to attempt sleep so I'll be able to wake up for work in the morning without being almost in physical pain from opening my eyes... *yawns* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 23:26, 13 Mar

Concerning My Ban

Well, you have banned me and the ip. 207.157.203.4 (I don't know the IP that was, I'm just guessing what its number, too lazy to check). As a bit of an FYI: Thats a school IP, and it also got banned from wikipedia even though i hade nothing to do with it getting banned. My point here is whoever committed this "sockpuppetry" crime or whatever must have been someone else, because i go onto uncyclopedia at school alot (and am alotta times too lazy to log in), perhaps someone saw me log onto it. You can disbelieve me if you want, you can even ban this IP, which is my home Computer, but at least i got what i said through. I tried voting with both an IP and an account once as a joke, and both votes got removed, so i figured that was a no-no. Anyway, i hope you get what i'm saying. ~ NEZLR

I want to believe you. I really do, but I'm struggling. I actually put rather a lot of time into going through the contributions of both that IP and your account and there did appear to be a rather obvious pattern of edits which did not look good. Tell you what I will do... I will shorten your account ban a bit. In the meantime, please don't edit the site at all. Take some time off from Uncyc. I noticed that you were getting a bit bored with the site anyway. When you return maybe you will have your enthusiasm for editing back. When the ban runs out, please ONLY edit the site using your registered account. MrN 00:30, Mar 14

Aiy Aiy (how the fuck is that spelt).

I think I'll work on a possible contribution to PLS if it isn't too late to enter. Other than that, I'll stay underground. ~ NEZLR

I think you are not getting the message here. Either you stay off completely during your ban, or I will personally ban all of your IPs for a year. Is the message clearer now? ~ 10:14, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, it might be best to wait until your ban expires (within 4 days) per Mordillo's message. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 10:18, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Thank you for the clarification. I believe I was clear enough even without your message. ~ 10:22, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Obviously, yes. But you may have come off a little bit too harsh. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:34, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Socky. Normally I'm a nice chap and all but... STAY THE FUCK OUT OF ADMINS BUSINESS WHEN THEY ARE DEALING WITH BANS. Does that make sense? I do hope so. MrN 15:44, Mar 14

*sniff* -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:48, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome

I feel at home already. Pietru 02:12, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

I hope you enjoy your stay. Do take some time to have a look at some of the links I gave you on your talkpage. Especially HTBFANJS. It's really useful. Have fun. MrN 02:21, Mar 14

LOL did u get blocked? figures. Pietru 02:42, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Me? I'm always getting blocked. Fortunately, as a sysop I can un-block myself. ;) MrN 02:45, Mar 14

I love you...

...but this is too much. Really. It's practically stalking. Plus, you peering in my windows is getting kind of creepy. I'm tempted to buy some curtains. I didn't say "stop"! I'd give you a cookie, but I'm disturbed by the way you suck out the chocolate chips. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:15, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

I know dishing out the FH templates was something which used to be popular a while back, so I thought I would try and start doing it a bit myself. Hopefully you like what I did with the front page. I'm never sure of the best way to handle things when headings and such need to be included. Also, you are running low on washing powder. MrN 03:21, Mar 14

Yeah, RC used to add the FH back in the day. I do it for featured pics, but with the few pages that I've featured, I'm happy enough to not horribly mess it up (kudos on the frontpage thingy. That's perfect. Don't let it go to your head). Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 03:26, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

0_0

Do we have another poopsmith?--Sycamore (Talk) 09:33, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

What are you talking about? You mean me? I wasn't sure when that template should be added. If I messed something up, I apologise in advance. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 10:20, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Its not you Sockpuppet:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:28, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Hmmm. Steps may have to be taken, Mr. Sycamore. Shall we break some legs? /me crunches knuckles threateningly. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:32, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Well - lets not have half assed admins as poopmiths who have to recruit from the userbase to get the job done. It makes us look like pants:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:37, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

I do believe UU and MrN9000 said somewhere that they might still do some poopsmiting now and then. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 10:45, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Poop smiting. I like it. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:49, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

This discussion should have been flushed long ago. MrN 14:35, Mar 14

I second that motion. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 15:42, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Daddy?

Are you about? -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:01, 14 Mar

What's up? I'm in IRC now if that's what you mean. MrN 15:04, Mar 14

Nah, I just had a couple of stupid questions. Do <ref> tags not work in namespace? And what's the alternate code if I don't want to use the quote template? -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:06, 14 Mar

“I'm not sure what you are asking about the ref tags. here is an example of them being used in the mainspace”

– MrN9000 on Ref tags

I think that should explain it

“ But I might be wrong, I mean I'm not really sure what you are asking. All I do is just wander around the wiki, when I see something I like the look of, I make a note of the code it uses ”

– MrN9000 on using {{cquote}}.

"Or maybe even?"
- MrN9000

Perfect, thanks. I had forgotten the footnote table. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:34, 14 Mar

Hmm, I see you asked Modus this also... Anyway.

“There is a difference”

~ fgfffg

“There is a difference”

– fgfffg

You see. It's best to avoid asking two people the same question at the same time. It kinda makes me loose my enthusiasm to reply ya see... MrN 15:40, Mar 14

Aw, I still love you best. Thanks again dude. -OptyC Sucks! CUN15:47, 14 Mar

“Thanks for your bugging help”

~ Dadadudi on Editing

.

For not letting the Scottish Uber Allies get recruited by the UN

Sycamore has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Thanks:)--Sycamore (Talk) 19:19, 14 March 2009 (UTC)

Hack up request

Can you hack up Avril's Butt (Template Family)? I requested an unneeded redirect be deleted, but it appears the article itself was deleted. (I think deleting a re-direct might also delete the target of the re-direct. I believe TKF may have accidentally deleted Boobs that way.) --Mnb'z 05:19, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Na, what happened was that someone did not list the redirect on QVFD properly. List redirects using {{redirect}}, e.g. {{redirect|Stupid page}}. I should probably have spotted it though... Tis fixed now. MrN 10:36, Mar 15

Thanks again

Rejoice, MrN9000! You have been entitled to the
Golden Shower Award

For donating high quality material to the Pee Review.

---

~Formerly Annoying Crap 10:07, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Wow, have not seen one of those for a while! I will add it to my collection... :) MrN 10:41, Mar 15

Wrist Slap

Guilty on the locked VFD page. Thanks for letting me know and not banning this writer for 150 years (otherwise known as a 'Bernie' ).--Romartus 12:38, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

Put it back!

You deleted La Fille Aux Cheveux De Lin (The Girl With the Flaxen Hair). I know it was short but, it was so funny that it prompted me to send a message to its author, begging for them to expand it. The point is, if it makes people laugh, then it has a place on this wiki, regardless of size. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  13:20, 15 March 2009 (UTC)

I restored it. Unfortunately it is too short to survive in mainspace on its own. In 30 days time that expansion tag will expire again and it will be deleted if it's not expanded. You may think articles that short are OK, but unfortunately the consensus in the community is that (other than for in-jokes) it's not. Maybe you might try to change that... Another option is to move it to UnDictionary... MrN 16:55, Mar 15

My PLS Article

I actually meant to delete this, but I'm not sure how. I've already got it on my page, how do I get rid of this 1?--Smokin' Cheddar BBQ: The King of the Triangular Snackfoods 01:20, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

On that article I wrote "This should be in userspace if it's your PLS dude. Move it and list the redirect on QVFD" Do you know what QVFD is? Go to that page and read... If you created the page you can request it to be deleted by typing "author request" after you list it. MrN 08:02, Mar 16

Moot

Help me out nigger, I need some contributions on my article Anon-a-mus 04:57, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I can't help. I would love to, but I'm masturbating furiously over pictures of goats at the moment. MrN 07:59, Mar 16

For that "fans" section of yours

“*grumble* Smartypants.”

~ Sockpuppet of an unregistered user on stating the bloody obvious

I was more please about the Lincoln quote at VFD actually. :-) MrN 19:45, Mar 16

*grumble* Smartypants. You can use whatever you want. Cheers! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:54, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

thanks im a noob

thanks for the advice bro

“It is a common misconception that we Aussies are a friendly bunch. In reality, this is designed to attract tourists, who are then beaten, robbed and fed to the crocodiles or koalas”

~ Australian Tourism Commission

--Durryman 12:54, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

You aren't one of those crazy chaps who goes around trying to convince everyone that Australia really exists are you? :-D MrN 13:00, Mar 17

indeed i am just like how Drop Bear exist ,they originated from a mascot on a bundaberg rum ad on tv now every tourist and there dog belives in them --Durryman 23:54, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for welcoming me

Quite frankly, I have no idea how to use this site. Hell, I'm pretty sure this isn't even the right way to send a message. Anyway, I'm not really sure what you're implying in the message. I've read both of those articles, but I'm unsure whether you were telling me that my article isn't good enough or that you were just giving me some friendly advice. Also, if this is the wrong way to send a message, do go ahead and delete it, but it'd be grand if you sent me a notification (and how the hell to send a proper message). :)

You mean my welcome message I sent you? Oh, that's just a standard kinda thing we send out to new users. As for your article... It's OK (for now) but it will need more work. Sometime soon one of our users will probably put an "ICU" onto it. Which means it needs more content. We are an encyclopedia after all, and generally don't keep things that short. Did you really read BGBU? It says some things in there which you need to know. Especially about using {{WIP}} I'm guessing you must have missed that. Also, please sig your posts on talk pages using ~~~~ Oh, and welcome again! MrN 15:00, Mar 17

Oh so that's why the noob knew to put the WIP tag on :P Daddy, you rascal. -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:51, 17 Mar

Who are you calling a n00b young lady? MrN 15:53, Mar 17

Will you block me if I tell the truth or if I lie, dear Father? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:56, 17 Mar

Thanks for sucking on my goat

It's very happy now and gives gallons of milk. Nigger lover. ~ 14:56, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

I would have thought it made it rather lethargic. Hang on? That was a female goat? I was tricked! MrN 15:00, Mar 17

Thanks for socking on my goatse

I felt the need to put that header there. This makes no sense. Make your time. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 17:43, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Ah, last talk page

Reminds me of the olden days of hand delivering the UnSignpost; what a pain in the arse that was. Anyway, thanks for the vote on Driving in Bucharest, it's really appreciated. –—Hv (talk) 17/03 18:06

I featured it too ya know! Nice article man. MrN 18:07, Mar 17

You only vote twice

I notice that you voted for James Bond on the old vfh page. There's a new one. It's been expecting you. -- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey)  21:03, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Silly me. I followed the {{VFH}} link and did not really pay attention. As usual... MrN 21:20, Mar 17

Correcting spelling errors,

You said:

It's not edible, you don't get anything for it and it's um. It's Yeah. :) Thanks for all the spelling fixes dude. Looks like we need them. MrN 22:29, Mar 17

Primarily it is one or two words consistently misspelled - separate and receive - but there are more.

I've done about six words on English Wikipedia and kept them corrected.

I've also corrected Simple English Wikipedia and even corrected pronunciation of "Tucson" on Bulgarian Wikipedia.

The guys at Turtledove got tired of me correcting spelling there.

EoGuy 23:08, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Well you know if you use Firefox that's got a built in spell checker so you could fix loads of them really quickly. If you do get any complaints from us it might be for either correcting a spelling which was deliberately bad, or because you are making so many edits you are flooding RecentChanges. It does not bother me though. If you wanted to be more helpful, rather than just changing a few words on a page you could use Firefox (which highlights spelling errors) and change loads. That would slow you down a bit (and so spam Recent changes less) and I would give you an even bigger cookie next time. Not that you want these cookies I stress. They taste terrible. MrN 23:17, Mar 17

It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. I don't wish to change browsers but thanks for reminding me.

EoGuy 01:36, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Template?

Under user has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Because I refuse to be that predictable. Just fairly predictable. Thanx for the template though, I'll use it if things get desperate (and I've done one recently and so don't look like a hypocrite!) --UU - natter 14:57, Mar 18

Rewrites

So how would you like me to go about this. HowTo:Pick up chicks. I think you can tell what I'm getting at. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 16:20, 18 March 2009

Yea, I did notice that myself. I was wondering what was going on. Well, the user who created HowTo:Pick up chicks has not been active for a while now, so I would recommend a merge. I think some of what is in HowTo:Pick up chicks is actually pretty good. Especially the pics and captions. Maybe it's possible to work the best of the two articles into one? MrN 16:25, Mar 18

I added what was good from the opening paragraph or so... the pics don't quite fit with the new article. I made sure they are pretty much represented in the article Picking up chicks. The latter half of HowTo:Pick up chicks becomes really more of a list, which in my opinion is just mediochre, but if there's anything else from the original article that you think we should add, please just do so. I am ready to move it to the mainspace as soon as the author gives the ok. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:18, 18 March 2009

Fair enough. If Gert ever comes back we can deal with it then. As you probably know what we should have done here is left a message on the talk page for a week or so saying a rewrite was planned asking for objections, but I guess it's OK in this case... MrN 18:23, Mar 18

Well, you can blame it on the noob. He didn't know, and I din't find it until very recently... I'll keep that in mind for future reference though. ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:32, 18 March 2009

Can you move this for my noob? It says I need help from an 'admin'... User:StonedJeff/HowTo:Pick Up Chicks over HowTo:Pick up chicks? ~Formerly Annoying Crap 07:35, 20 March 2009

You lost me. What do you need an admin for here? Just copy the text. If you mean you want me to delete HowTo:Pick up chicks so you can keep the history of User:StonedJeff/HowTo:Pick Up Chicks then... Well, I can't do that as that would delete the history of HowTo:Pick up chicks. MrN 08:26, Mar 20

You know, the advisory says not to do that. But that was what I was going to do in the first place.... just didn't want to be breaking any 'rules.' ;) ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:05, 21 March 2009

Eh? Advisory? What's that then? MrN 02:08, Mar 21

see here
The page could not be moved: a page of that name already exists, or the name you have chosen is not valid. Please choose another name, or ask an administrator to help you with the move. Please do not manually move the article by copying and pasting it; the page history must be moved along with the article text. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 02:20, 21 March 2009

Oh, right I got ya now... Yea, that's not really what we want to do here me thinks. MrN 02:39, Mar 21

We need more pants!

Not 100% safe for work, btw... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 04:12, 19 Mar

I loled. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 19:39 22 March 2009

Sounds like a good idea when facing something funny... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:47, 22 Mar

UnSignpost 19th March

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

March 19th, 2009 • Issue 39 • Committed to both Bringing You The News and The Happywood Insane Asylum

Forum topic created; Modusoperandi posts witty response By Gerrycheevers At a certain point this week, a relatively green uncyclopedian posed a rather ill-advised question on one of the Forums quaintly known to patrons of this silly wiki as the 'Village Dump'. A few seconds after the aforementioned certain point this week, resident cheek-tonguer Modusoperandi responded by intentionally misinterpreting the meaning of the question, twisting the querist's words, taking advantage of some sort of delicious pun, or otherwise causing mischief in the usually serious, informative Forum. Reactions were, as usual, mixed in the community. Several anonymous users were outraged at the lack of tact and formality displayed by the wily Modus. "Uncyclopedia is serious business," said one pitchfork-wielding mob participant. "We would descend into total anarchy if it weren't for the court system, the press, the boron smelting plant, and the sanctity of our information distribution system." Other users seemed to support the flashing of rapier wit, claiming "if we can't laugh a little, then what's the point? Without humor, we'd end up in hell like all those poor souls who lived before Jesus invented comedy in 23 A.D." Modusoperandi himself declined to comment on the situation, only offering this brief reply to a query seeking a comment: "She told me that she was eighteen. She also told me that she human and was not, in fact, a bonobo. If you have any other questions, please direct them to my law firm; Alan, Whitcomb, Silverstein & Bonobo." It seems the elusive Mr. Operandi is free to continue in his forum havoc-wreaking, as nobody has stepped up to officially denounce his actions. All bonobos involved were unavailable for comment. UnSignpost Editors Under Fire for Bonuses By Gerrycheevers This week the Uncyclopedia community was outraged to learn that the UnSignpost, which recently received a Wikia bailout, will be giving hefty bonuses to the very dunderheads responsible for driving the periodical into the ground in the first place. The extremely active Uncyclopedia Senate has vowed that action will be taken against the editors set to receive the lucrative bonuses. It may be possible that they will be blocked from editing or even exiled to another wiki. Uncyclopedians were, for the most part, outraged. Popular user Mnbvcxz had an unrelated statement quote-mined by an UnSignpost journalist to produce the following comment:"I[...]is[...]finished," a possible indication that he will leave the site in protest of the bonuses. The founders of the newspaper refused comment, as they want nothing to do with it anymore, and true to that mission this reporter was chased off the the grounds of the Cajek mansion by bunnies wearing bee costumes. The current editors were hounded, with Under user having this to say: "I don't think there have been any "comically large" bonuses paid out. There have simply been adequate contractual remunerations allocated to key staff to reward their loyalty and unstinting efforts. Every penny of these almost insignificant amounts is richly deserved. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to buy a large yacht and fill a swimming pool with cash to float it on." Gerrycheevers was absolutely unavailable at press time.

Check out these pages! Windows sucks The ratings system sucks You suck From our logs: 11:00, 15 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked Slicktorine (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 weeks ‎ (Cyberbullying: We just don't care about you or your friends. Sorry. I suggest you ask him for a date. He's probably a really nice guy.) 11:10, 17 March 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.124.60.187 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Here is a sharp pointy thingy up your ass. My finger. Don't worry, I washed it) 11:43, 18 March 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) moved Jon snow to Jon Snow ‎ (capital punishment) 11:39, 19 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked MrN9001 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (insubordination) Biopic of the Week Savethemooses is one of the legends of Uncyc lore. Once the king of the featured article hill, his recent inactivity has allowed him to slip to seventh, despite having twenty-five features, which is more than you ever will. In fact, the only way you will ever come close to experiencing the glory that was STM's being is to go nominate several of his articles on VFH right now. Like, right now. Old-School Featured Article of the Week Pixellated Face Disease is a rare condition in which a person's face, caught on camera, will become blurred, or 'pixellated'. There is no known cure for the disease, and there are several associated conditions, such as Blurred Registration Plateism and Black Strip syndrome, the latter only affecting the eye region. Cajek Ban Joke of the Week In this week's uproariously funny UnSignpost issue, the second story misdirection-links the phrase "blocked from editing" to Cajek's userpage. Retraction of the Week The current editors of the UnSignpost have recently become aware of startling differences between the current Signposts and editions from early in the newspaper's history. We would therefore like to retract the following issues: #1, #3, #6-13, and #16.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MnbvcxzBot 05:21, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Historic meeting

So how was it? Did you miss my presence? I hope you did. Bastards. ~ 09:16, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh,well we did talk about you if that's what you mean. :D The night was a lot of fun. I met some really lovely people. It is true what they say about the tattoo which Olipro has on his penis. MrN 09:26, Mar 20

O_O So who showed up? ~ 09:27, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, the plan was for Olipro and me to meet at Victoria station at 2:40. Obviously he showed up at about 3:30... I was expecting to give it another 10 mins and then hear Rick Astley playing over the tannoy. We met Rabbi Techno and Sannse at the pub who were already drinking well. Codeine showed up a bit later and we went for a rather nice curry. Sannse managed to get internet access in the pub, and we were all chatting in IRC using her login confusing the heck out of everyone. Codeine and myself agreed that a trip to Amsterdam in the near future was a must. It would have been better if it had been on the weekend, as I'm sure that more people would have been able to attend. MrN 09:56, Mar 20

Yep, next time use the bloody email as well. So did the Rabbi wear his rabbinical outfit or was he on his civics? ~ 09:58, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

For some bizarre reason Olipro turned up sporting a tie which scared us all a little bit. If the good Rabbi was dressed in full ceremonial attire I think it was more suited to drinking. Pop into IRC tonight? :-) MrN 10:08, Mar 20

I shall try. But I need to ban the internets first. O_O ~ 10:21, 20 March 2009 (UTC)

Oooooo... Ban me too! I mean make sure to give me the heads up on time for Amsterdam! I'm sure you can't do well enough without a Luvvy. *sulks for not being able to attend last night* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 10:57, 20 Mar

Wat.

I didn't think you were wrong, I just thought you left. UU was just the first admin I saw pop up on RC this morning and I thought I'd ask him what I should do with the image. I certainly wasn't trying to cause drama or step on anybody's toes. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:22, 20 Mar

NO! I AM DEEPLY OFFENDED BY YOUR ACTIONS! penis Lolz. Could a son upset a father? Hmm. That may not be the best example actually... MrN 17:31, Mar 20

So; wanna see some naked pictures of Luvvy? -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:37, 20 Mar

You only have the pictures eh? The video is much better. MrN 17:39, Mar 20

You guys haven't seen half of it :P -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 18:53, 20 Mar

It's true. I have never managed to get all the way through watching it. MrN 18:54, Mar 20

It's quite interesting stuff, but I guess if you didn't live through it, you'll just sit there, staring blankly in horror for two days and bury the DVD... :P -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 19:10, 20 Mar

Time to give you a *kiss*!

I saw what you did with Our Furry Friend. I wish I'd have had a ban-hammer myself. But as thanks. I'll just smooch you! ^_^ -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:06, 21 Mar

But it was originally his article. It isn't like he was vandalising another persons article. Either way, it sucks. I'd delete it without a second look. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:11, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

And the other guy who edited it registered just two hours after Asterius, which tells me they both joined to do a collaboration article. So... Asterius shouldn't be banned? --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:16, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

I fully support having a person like that be blocked for anything from a few hours to a week, so they get time to read guidelines before bumbling about more... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:19, 21 Mar

Dexter: I have no idea what you are talking about? Who is banned? Also... SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! Thanks for the catch dude. MrN 15:21, Mar 21

Well fixed, Daddy. However that's a case of where I wonder if it'd have been appropriate to actually go in and move it to that guy's user space... But I don't know. I'm just a Luvvy... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:24, 21 Mar

It's his article. He can do whatever he wants with it. As Dex says it's a collab. They can sort it out between themselves. MrN 15:26, Mar 21

I think Dexter should be made an admin cause he is such a total badass who never makes mistakes. LONG LIVE CRUSHERBOT! --66.190.160.87 15:30, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Um... LONG LIVE CRUSHERBOT!!! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 15:32, 21 March 2009 (UTC)

Ban

yeah can you have a look at the comment I made back on my page which explains everything? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Asterius (talk • contribs)

Hijacked Page

It seems the page I wrote has been hijacked and parts of it completely deleted. Personal insults and direct cyber bullying and breach of the rules is all I can see, some of the new edits are funny but I would like it if you could please attend to the page. Am i allowed to revert it back to how it was? --Asterius 07:38, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

The page is filled with shit about me, can you please see that the page is returned back to itself permanently? Thanks --Asterius 12:11, 22 March 2009 (UTC)

Yea, those parts which were deleted should have been. I asked you to previously to do that, but you did not. See your talk page. MrN 14:50, Mar 22

On a bit more snooping around, that's pretty fair. --UU - natter 14:54, Mar 22

Cheers. The only reason I was giving Asterius so much slack was because I had previously accidentally banned him. Hopefully we have made our point clear now. Oh also, if Asterius has any sense he will create himself another account under a different name which has nothing to do with From the Pavilion. MrN 15:06, Mar 22

From the what now? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:33 22 March 2009

Since you were so eager with the start of this thing

D'you reckon you could protect the PLS articles tomorrow? I'd ask Mordillo again, but I figured you'd just end up doing it anyway, so yeah. –—Hv (talk) 22/03 19:01

I think I got em all. I did not check each page to make sure there was no vandalism, but I guess the users will let us know if there was... Have you sorted the prizes? MrN 03:22, Mar 23

pee?

howdy MrN, would you be willing to do a pee review for our colonization of jew? SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 14:43, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

I see no Pee Review?!? Anyway, create the review (asking that it be done by a PEEING member) and if no one else jumps in during the next 2 days I will take a look. MrN 15:30, Mar 23

sure. i wanted to hold off on creating the pee so that we don't get the weird goings-on we had last time. anyway, if you get a chance, here it is. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 19:19, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

My Gunness page thing, I wasn't refferring to the drink Guinness. There's a village called Gunnes, so errrm, don't delete it? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Amy's Freakshow (talk • contribs)

Deleted? I have not idea what you are talking about... ;) MrN 16:04, Mar 23

Question...

Why did you keep the World War XII article, when there were more Delete. votes then Keep. votes? Just wondering. --Absolutely Not Benson 16:37, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Hea, asking is no problem. Well, one of the for votes was me, and I was thinking of changing my mind. Aside from that we need a large majority to delete and I could not see it happening. That nom had been there for a good few days and I did not see the point in wasting anymore time on it. If that many people care enough to keep it I see no problem. MrN 16:41, Mar 23

That IP you just banned

I think that was ChedarBBQ unlogged O_O ~ 19:37, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh, I know that... Thanks for pointing it out though... ;-) MrN 19:40, Mar 23

No worries, I just didn't see an outright bannination reason, so I figured you either didn't see that or I missed the whole story. A weekend in Baden-Baden will rot your brain for sure. ~ 19:43, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

We have a history. I will pop into IRC. MrN 19:46, Mar 23

Your mom. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:11, 23 March 2009 (UTC)

I can't argue with that. MrN 21:13, Mar 23

So I heard you're adopting

And I also heard my articles suck beyond belief. I know i've been around a few months, but I genuinely want to contribute my fair share of bullshit to Uncyclopedia, and i'm just not that funny.

TL;DR:Adopt me?=)Saberwolf116 02:54, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Dude you are too old. You are like driving your own car and stuff! I will however allow you to bug me whenever you wish if that's what you require. Not sure how much I can really help. I'm not the most creative. MrN 03:03, Mar 24

Jade Goody

Big brother, duh... I knew that. I think the article is offensive and in poor taste. But whatever. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 17:08, 24 March 2009

I think Jade Goody was offensive and in poor taste so the article is probably perfect. I am very sorry she died. Did she donate any of the money she generated by all the publicity she got to cancer research? Did she ever do anything to help anyone else? How many other people died and no one cared? It's interesting that the article was written almost entirely by a mixture of lots of different IPs actually... MrN 17:59, Mar 24

Well, you kept it, so no harm done in pushing people to improve it. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:04, 24 March 2009

Um, hang on. Now I notice why you are here. When exactly did I call you "stupid"? You said "Not funny at all. And I have never even seen this TV show chick.". So I said "please check Wikipedia next time, she's really famous". So now you say "Big brother, duh... I knew that.". That sequence of statements makes no sense to me whatsoever. Are you trying to start an argument so you can get sexually aroused again? I know your game young lady. I'm on to you. Get yourself some pornography like the rest of us have to. :P MrN 18:20, Mar 24

Now you make me laugh, so either way I win. ;)

Thanks! ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:31, 24 March 2009

What I meant to say was, I didn't know her enough to care that the article was offensive. You should slap a british template across the top. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 18:34, 24 March 2009

Na. Uncyclopedia:VFH/UnNews:Jade Goody's publicist "really sad". Looks like she's well known enough. MrN 19:47, Mar 24

Ick. You really just don't get it. ~Formerly Annoying Crap 05:34, 25 March 2009

Writing good

Hey, is HowTo:Write Good supposed to be protected? I think it is. Right? --Globaltourniquet - (was TPLN) 18:58, 24 March 2009 (UTC)

Ya. MrN 19:45, Mar 24

And about your question...

The answer is sometimes. It'd make it easier for me to bypass my bans, but then when the summertime comes, I won't be able to write. I'd be busy raping-- banning asshats and deleting articles made by people who eat too many cuntymints. --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:34, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

The problem is that sometimes people treat ya like you have to do things. That sucks. Rather like your mom, but I think I mentioned that... I'm thinking about a rewrite for my user page actually to make it look like I'm a new user. Hoping to catch a few tards who might do things which they otherwise would not if they knew they were talking to a sysop... Stealth mode... ;-) MrN 00:39, Mar 25

Thanks!

Neil thanks you for voting! Obviously by Neil I mean 'I' cos you know that people who refer to themselves in the third person like that actually tend to be kinda narcissistic and I'm not - well I mean I wouldn't say I was - so from now on I'll say 'I', I just had to say Neil so you knew that it was me and not somebody else. So I came here to say thanks for advertising my daily torment I hope that now more people will have a greater understanding of why I'm so dysfunctional. Thanks, did I say that?

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 12:36 26 March 2009

Who said that? MrN 15:11, Mar 26

:( you make me sad. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:24 26 March 2009

I love you really. No need to be neurotic about it. :P MrN 15:25, Mar 26

Oh, thanks you. Thank you, thanks you thank you... Sniff, I don't know why I'm crying! I'm happy really! :'D ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 15:28 26 March 2009

Signpost

Right, you don't get a choice about this: your colossal banning spree is the second article in this week's Signpost. What you can control, to a certain extent, is your official response to this. So do you have a quote that I can amusingly use out of context accurately report? --UU - natter 16:38, Mar 26

“What do all these buttons with "Ban" written on them do? I keep pushing them, but nothing appears to happen.”

~ MrN9000

lol. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:43 26 March 2009

I wonder...

If that guy will come back as Fagorian57... Or do you have to be an admin? :S ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:57 26 March 2009

I SENSE CORRUPTIONS

Dear sir,

i am writing from ghana akumbo, how are you hope fine. i am wishing to write about what i think are corruptions in the last two votes of my recent featured article. i quoteted the last two votes below, following this colon:

1.  For.. I was not told to vote here. --Charitwo^Talk23:52, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
2. FOUR Best fucking article I have never read! --- - Ironfist Talk to me23:56, 26 March 2009 (UTC)

i am deeply humbled yet deeply offended by these last two votes. in references to the recent slowdown of potentialy featuarble articles, it seems to me that these are two uncyclopedia userrs that prowl mirc who were told to vote quicly ( in the space of four minutes from the two votes, and then just three minutes for when you passed the article ) for this article so the vote counts were boosted to 11.5 and so the article looked more pluasibly frontpagearable.

don't get me wrong i am happy to see my article featured (as well as your account information thank you my family will see bread once again soon) but i am deeply hurt, plese don't get mad at me, when i see that people skip articles and vote for them and not read what has taken me and my poor family years to produce. i must ask for why this has happpned. my widow was crying today but i told her that you would be visiting her soon in the hospital and she stop crying.

hope to hear from you soonest,

regards ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 00:47, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, what happened was I needed to FA something. It looked to me like your article was probably going to make it, so I whored a link to the VFH page in IRC... Something which often generates more against votes than for actually. In seriousness though... I trust those two guys to have given the article their fair attention. No need to feel like anything is wrong here... It's a well deserved FA. MrN 00:53, Mar 27

Dear sir/madam/thing, (delete where applicable)

I see your point. I thank you for your kind words, as well as your infomation that may benefit the police greatly. Lastly, do not attempt to delude me again. I am Inspector Morse of Oxfordshire police. I don't take kindly to either: 1. scratched La Bella records 2. people trying to delude me.

Regards,

DCI Morse, Oxfordshire Police ---kun "whisper sweet nothings into thine ear..." 08:59, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

how do you become a admin?

I really want to know how to become a admin because i want to become one eventully please respond Sincerely,Nathaniel 03:01, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Don't ask to become an admin is the first step... Then you learn about how the site works and work your ass off doing useful things around the place. Then you forget it all and bribe a bureaucrat. My sincere advice... Forget it. Just use the site and enjoy it. If you have what is required talents you will be noticed in time... MrN 03:06, Mar 27

Much more important question: How can you get your adminship taken away? I want your answer in the form of actions. I'm kind of a visual learner. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 06:19, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

It's happened at Wikipedia. Never happened at Uncyc although a few people have gotten close at times. MrN 11:52, Mar 27

But it should. Any admin who has less than 100 edits in 2008-2009 should be deopped. So sayeth Hyperbole. pillow talk 18:00, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

You are obviously drunk or something. ;) Also, that would not resolve the issue you are trying to resolve. Not the drinking, that's almost certainly the way forward. MrN 18:17, Mar 27

No, it wouldn't fix everything, but it would be a good start. Also: the drinking doesn't begin for... about nine hours and 17 minutes. pillow talk 18:43, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

So let it be written, so let it be done. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:22, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

You might notice that anyone who's tried it doesn't edit here any more. It's because they have all died in freak spontaneous combustion-related accidents. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 18:26, 27 Mar 2009

What the who when? Who was that strange and mysterious visitor??? Hi Spang!!!!! MrN 18:28, Mar 27

Perhaps, OR we let the Uncyclopedia Ninja loose all over his stupid face. The Spontaneous combustion-related accidents were a ruse, A RUSE! Our ninja is all like, Dodge, Dodge, Sword Slice, Jump, Sword slice cutting the guy in half from top to bottom, disappear, re-appear, block bullets with sword, jump behind last admin, decapitate the hell out of him, eat a sandwhich, time-warp away. Fuckin' yeah! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 18:33, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Article idea

Since you said I could bug you anytime I want to, i'd like to start now. I've got this great idea for an article: HowTo:Get in bed with Bill O'Reilly. The problem is, I suck at making articles. What do you think I should do for this? I was thinking of mainly using play-on-words for the punchlines, I.E. "Will he suck your fucking thing" and "A Bold Fresh Piece Of O'Reilly".Saberwolf116 17:57, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Well I first started watching Bill O'Reilly on youtube this year actually. I'm from the UK so I have missed his pleasures up until now. I'm no expert on the man, all I know is that watching him is funny. It's hard to tell if he is serious or not. Often his guests totally wipe the floor with him, and when he does not like it he mutes their mic! WTF. That's a "news" program apparently. Anyway if I were doing something about him it would be under the direction that Bill O'Reilly is actually a liberal agent put there by liberal fanatics to undermine right wing views by making them look ridiculous. As for doing something about "Will he suck your fucking thing" na. I would try to keep clear of that sort of thing. Toilet humour can work (sometimes) but... If you want to attack someone in a meaningful way you have to be more subtle than that. You need to actually mix the truth in. Make it so that the reader can't tell what is truth and what is not. Get them reading something, thinking it's made up when actually it's true... The most important thing about starting a new article is the concept. You have to figure out basically where the article will go before you start. It might change as you work on it, but if you start without any plan you will get stuck. I suggest that whatever you do, keep it closer to the truth to make it more cutting. Maybe you could have the person having sex with him having their voice muted when Bill does not like that they complain about him being crap in bed? Maybe not, but you get the idea. You need to know your subject really well to write like this. If you know Bill really well, then maybe you can manage this... What other things does he do? What is his stereotypical behaviour? Research them and think how you can blend them together, and hopefully an idea for the overall concept will pop out... MrN 18:14, Mar 27

Thanks, for the information, it really helped. Now, show us the girl in your sig's tits. NAO.Saberwolf116 20:59, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Pants

I haven't been on your talk page in forever. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:33, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Some socks to go with those pants. Also, me too. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:37, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Spang even graced me with his arrival earlier. I feel honoured. Anyway, I'm currently whoring on SysRq's page. What are you low lives doing here? Give me your worst you bastards! MrN 23:39, Mar 27

If by "worst" you mean my best, i.e. my wurst: Penis. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 23:47, 27 March 2009 (UTC)

Sir you present a conclusive argument. MrN 23:49, Mar 27

Hey. I notice there isn't a feature today. Isn't this what should be on the front page now? Or is there something I'm missing? --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:09, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Hmm. If only there was someone here who could do that. Less that 10 votes though eh? Not sure about that. Maybe if someone else voted... MrN 00:15, Mar 28

... Fuck. Just round up. 9.5 goes up to 10... FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:18, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost 26th March 09

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

March 26th, 2009 • Issue 40• Spooning the Soggy Vegetables of Truth from the Luke-warm Soup of the News

MrN's banstick stuck in "on" position By UU Popular admin, underwear enthusiast and raconteur MrN9000 has gone on a ban-rampage unprecedented in the recent history of the wiki. Seemingly keen to win his first bastard admin award, the conscientious custodian has already banned more people this month than all the other admins combined. The other admins rallied bravely, with even Spang being seen to ban someone (only his third of the year) as they tried to show they were not now completely surplus to requirements. However, even as this story was typed, MrN banned another 3 vandals, rendering their efforts ultimately futile. Speculation that he is trying to ban more people on an individual basis than Hinoa managed in one go when he banned the whole of Italy cannot be confirmed or denied at the time of going to press. When asked about his phenomenal spree, MrN said "What do all these buttons with "Ban" written on them do? I keep pushing them, but nothing appears to happen". Banning legend Mordillo, when asked for a comment on MrN's ban excesses, said "I believe the man is a menace, and danger to society. I believe he should be castrated, quartered, hanged, torched and his ashes should be scattered over France. I believe he should burn in hell for all eternity. What? Do I feel pity about all those who he banned? Fuck no, I didn't have anyone to ban because of the bastard!" Uncyclopedia now famous By Gerrycheevers In a totally unexpected development, Uncyclopedia has officially earned the worldwide recognition it has longed for since its inception. On the website digg.com, all internet content is sorted and ranked by coolness, similar to the process found in many middle schools. It seems Uncyc's page on spam has reached sufficient 'cool' status as to cause the rest of the site to become invited to the "cool kid's lunch table", along with theonion.com and cracked.com. Reactions were unusually mixed today in the Uncyclopedia break room. When asked what it's like to suddenly be cool, Optimuschris said, "shit, I'll let you know when I find out." Another user, DrStrange, was asked for a comment, and promptly responded "comment duly delivered!" Clearly, popularity has already gone to Uncyclopedians' heads, as such chippy responses are rarely seen. Uncyclopedians have become too cool for school. When asked for comment regarding adding a sentence to the end of this article to extend its length and make this week's UnSignpost look pretty, Gerrycheevers said, "bugger off."

Check out these pages! April fool? 24,000 articles and counting A welcome new feature? From our logs: 14:22, 26 March 2009 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.43.66.7 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying: UN:FAIL another victim of the Gay trap. Yep, this means that you are probably homosexual. Seriously, one day you will realise this yourself.) 01:24, 24 March 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Q.V. (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (FINE!!!!! I'LL SUCK YOUR COCK!!!! GOD, I JUST LOVE THE SEMEN OF A RACIST!!!!!!) 23:28, 20 March 2009 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked Barton sucks (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 3 days ‎ (Whilst Barton does indeed suck, you're barely literate and tragically unfunny. Read HTBFANJS and try again later.) Biopic of the Week Continuing our series of biopics on Uncyc legends, Hardwick Fundlebuggy won Writer of the Month back in 2006, at a time when you were lucky to have an article survive VFD. His awesome writing style resulted in him being named Writer of the Year, of which there are only four so far. It's just unfortunate he had to go to jail... Old-School Featured Article of the Week Snopes is a website dealing with the delicious diversion that is rumor. Whenever you overhear there is a computer virus set to attack, whenever you hear that your favorite horse is actually a zebra, whenever you are told your girlfriend is a lesbian...Snopes will be there to tell you the truth...mostly. Old-School Cajek Ban of the Week 23:10, 5 April 2008 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 67 seconds ‎ (That'll teach YOU to get a false sense of security!)

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9001(bot)  01:41, Mar 28

Your sig.

Show us her tits. NAO!!!!Saberwolf116 04:41, 28 March 2009 (UTC)

Those are my tits. Now you understand why I never need to go outside. MrN 04:43, Mar 28

Douche

Hey, you. I have a huge penis. Hey, I guess you want to thank me for allowing you to read something by me. Unfortunately for you, I am currently having sex with your girlfriend. She says, "Hi <insert name here>!" Did I mention how she loves my cock. By the way, my penis is huge. Good bye, peasant! And I've got a huge cock.

--MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 00:18, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

What? I don't get anything special for featuring it? You lazy bum you. MrN 00:20, Mar 29

You could get a side order of fries, but you'll have to wait a 15 minutes... --MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 18:13, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Michael Jackson

What are you doing? —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:51, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Oh I see. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:53, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

You need to find out who Mr Mannering was... MrN 01:55, Mar 29

Incidentally, there's still an unreviewed pee request. And SysRq actually wanted it done yesterday. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:00, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

I was just talking to him in IRC actually... MrN 02:20, Mar 29

So was I. Weird. —Sir SysRq (talk) 02:28, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

I talked to a tree for a tiny bit. Truly fascinating. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 02:29, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Madagascar

Can you hack up at least one revsion and if not here on, the mirror? Please. 68.220.180.164 02:58, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

That "mirror" site has nothing whatsoever to do with us. As for Madagascar well that page is there, so I have no idea what you are asking. MrN 03:12, Mar 29

Michael Jackson

Thanks for hearing my plea and protecting the article. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 15:41, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

It's hilarious that some people are stupid enough to take it seriously actually... MrN 15:44, Mar 29

that was my opinion from the begining :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 16:00, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Slurry

We're one vote away from a concensus on VFD, could you please vote to delete Slurry and then huff it? =)Saberwolf116 16:47, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Dude. Asking people to do stuff like that? That's not cool. MrN 16:49, Mar 29

You're an asshole too.

Just so we're clear. —Sir SysRq (talk) 23:58, 29 March 2009 (UTC)

Penis. Also I just banned Orian for poor performance on UU's talk page. Just to make sure... MrN 00:00, Mar 30

I preform just fine. It's when I open my mouth that I loose my wages. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 00:01 30 March 2009

I made the template!

Penis! Sockpuppet of an unregistered user could not help but notice that you have been doing some spiffingly good deeds of late. As such, you have been awarded this rather nice boxy type thing by way of penis pornography. Congratulations.

MUAHAHAHA! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:21, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

I will put it on my mantelpiece. Next to my penis. MrN 00:23, Mar 30

And you should put the pic in that gallery on your userpage. Lol. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 00:53, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Well, it's more of an award really. I added it there. You should do more photochops. Looks like you know what you are doing. You are probably only just good at drawing penis though. MrN 00:56, Mar 30

Whatever suits you. And I can draw other things too, like boobs. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 01:00, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Thailand

Hehe, I just want to insist once. If you don't find it's funny at all then it's alright. ^_^

Well, it isn't much that I hate the land or people here (yeah, sad truth, it's here for me). But more of how the land turn out to be lately. *SIGH* I think this land pass the point of no return to deepest part of hell when those Yellow Cult siege national airports and believe me, none of them got arrested after all crimes they have commited. That why I add referrence to Hatur there, it is only reason how such crimes can done unpunish...The rest...well, as I said I think there is no hope in this land anymore.

Whatever, go ahead if you want to remove it. ^_^ As I said, I just want to insist once, just to fufill my shatterred ego. Just to prove I am awaken and disgust by fact that I were once respect...that thing.

Sorry for all sentimental rant, lol. I just want to say that the King in Yellow part isn't totally random, it is just crude since my very soul taint with sadness when think of it. But feel free to remove it if you don't think nothing can be done. As I said, I just want to insist once. Only once more...

Ace Attacker 01:56, 30 March 2009 (UTC)

Awesome. It's great that you came to chat about this. Dude. I AM NOT HERE TO CENSOR YOU. That ain't my style. That's also not the purpose of us sysops here on Uncyclopedia. You can have whatever views or opinions you wish. The purpose of Uncyclopedia (IMO) is to allow people to express themselves creatively in a way which others will find funny. If you did want to say racist things (I'm not saying you do) then that's totally fine so long as it's in-keeping with the article in question. The point is that sometimes when people have very strong views about something they have a tendency to forget that what they write is meant to be funny to others and sometimes go off on a bit of a rant. I was just worried that perhaps that was happening with the Thailand page. I'm not going to revert ya. I personally don't think that the section on [is legal] actually adds any funny to the page myself but if you in all honestly (now that we have had this chat) think it does then that's fine with me.

In my experience if you do wish to make a point about something the message will be far more effective if you are subtle about it. Take for example the Michael Jackson page. This was recently rewritten for Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization. Take a look at that page, and see how it is written now. ;) The obvious thing to do would have been to focus on the paedophile aspect of his character. It would have been easy to make loads of cheep jokes about him, but would that really have been as effective as what we have there now? Think about it... If a Jacko fans read a page full of hate speech and pedo jokes, they would simply switch to another article before finishing it, or maybe even go to another website. As it is now it is far more effective in delivering the message... Because it is subtle. The best articles are those which are actually appealing to both sides of whatever issue is being addressed. Probably the best example of that which I know on Uncyc is Niggers. Now stupid racist people will think it's funny because uses the 'N' word, whereas intelligent black people will see the underlying humour of the page. If ya want to hurt someone... Whisper things quietly in their ear... They will hear it more. ;-) MrN 02:23, Mar 30