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Joe Biden
- Article feature date: 8 March 2023
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08 March 2023
Joe "Biatch" Biden is a demented politician currently unaware that he is serving as the 46th President of the United States (his precursor, Donald Trump, on the other hand, was very aware that he was serving, but did not know exactly what it meant to serve as a president, leading to a nice peaceful protest), making him the most powerful man in the world. Before that, he served as Vice President under Barack Obama, wherein he did stuff and accomplished things, such as getting arrested 3 times in 1 week. His wife and children, prior to the 2008 Presidential Election, had frequently mistaken Biden for various pieces of household furniture and would often bring him to the local antique shop and have him appraised. This would later prove particularly embarrassing during an unfortunate appearance on the PBS program Antiques Roadshow. (Full article...)
UnNews:New Florida bill would abolish all pronouns
- Article feature date: 14 March 2023
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14 March 2023
TALLAHASSEE, FL: The governor of Florida Governor Ron DeSantis announced on February 24th, 2023, that Governor Ron DeSantis publicly supports a new bill, currently weaving the new bill's way through the Florida State Legislature, that would ban the usage and the mere mention of all pronouns from the State of Florida. The Republican bill, provisionally entitled "An Act to Ban the Usage and the Mere Mention of All Pronouns from the State of Florida" (FHB 9999), would apply to all State of Florida government documents, legal documents, businesses, public school classrooms, public school libraries, public libraries, the public at large, news-media articles and Wikipedia articles that in any way have anything to do with the State of Florida, and all spellcheck software produced and/or operated in the State of Florida.
At a news conference held during the afternoon of February 24th, 2023, Governor Ron DeSantis said "Governor Ron DeSantis personally believes that pronouns have become far more trouble than pronouns are worth. (Full article...)