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UnBooks:My frozen breath above the stars
- Article feature date: 16 April 2025
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16 April 2025
She was one hundred sixteen years old and different from other girls. She wasn't notably pretty and was socially awkward. She was the only alien in her school, which didn't help her feelings of exclusion. But the tolerant people of her town for the most part saw past her glowing blue skin.
Despite this all, she was in with the popular girls. Guys were cordial with her but nothing more. Drunken jocks at parties often dared each other to score with the alien chick. "Fifty bucks for the bro who scores some Pluto pussy" they said. They always failed. At parties she was so socially awkward that any guy coming near her would set off blue LED like lights in her cheeks. It is a biological trait Plutonian females have. It instantly freaks out any guy who gets near her. (Full article...)
Terraforming
- Article feature date: 19 April 2025
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19 April 2025
Terraforming is the hypothetical process by which a planetary body's properties are modified to allow for the building of Costco Wholesale retail stores there. The process was first proposed by astronomer Carl Sagan, who wanted to build a Costco on Venus, as his local Costco was far too crowded, especially on the weekends, making it unsafe to drive in the parking lot. It's generally agreed that humanity has neither the technology nor the societal will to sustain such a gargantuanly expensive venture. Still, this hasn't stopped engineers and scientists from speculating how best to build a Costco on other planets. (Full article...)
Rachel Zegler
- Article feature date: 23 April 2025
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23 April 2025
Rachel Jobe Chengler, (Ray-chel Jo-🐝 惩-ler) known unprofessionally as Rachel Zegler), is a Columbian-American daughter of a dedicated Friends fan, and the worst casting in the history of film, twice. She is known mostly for her award-winning performance in Steven Spielberg's Westo Sido Storyo, which is West Side Story but with a slightly more Puerto Rican cast, and actual wooden actors instead of Natalie Wood. (Full article...)
Sarah Palin
- Article feature date: 21 April 2025
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21 April 2025
Sarah Michael Palin (/ˈpeɪlᵻn/ yoo-BET-cha; born February 11, 1964) is a celebrity spokesmodel of unparalleled political achievement. No other mediocre ex-governor and failed vice-presidential candidate has achieved such notoriety and influence. Because of her ability to do virtually nothing as the governor of America's least influential state, she was selected as the 2008 Republican Party nominee for the office of Vice President of the United States. As the author of a ghostwritten book and over eighty thousand insightful tweets she is regarded by conservative Republicans as an intellectual colossus.
Palin is such an experienced and well qualified politician that she has been compared to Winston Churchill, Cicero and Charles DeGaulle. Palin's spokesmen have complained about the comparison claiming it is unneighborly to put her in the same league with fictional myths. (Full article...)