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UnBooks:Harry Potter Summarized in Less Than a Minute
- Article feature date: 19 January 2026
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{{FA|date=19 January 2026|revision=6526551}}(Only add this after this page has saved) - This section can safely be removed on 23 January 2026
19 January 2026
You've read the title. I know what you want, dear reader. I bet you were TikToking down the rabbithole when your mother blew a hole through your door with a C4, and asked you to read seven long-ass books that nobody has the time for in this decade! (That TikToking doesn't do itself right?) And then you said something, like "First of all, what the hell mom, blowing a hole through my door. Also mom, seriously, I don't have time for this... gawd... get off my back. I have two hours of TikToking to do and then a Mario Kart Wii session... on my Wii!" Your mother smacks you over the head with forty-three door-stopping Harry Potter books, and a constant supply of shitty, smelly novels! And when you tried to complain, your mother unbelievably said, "What the hell did you just say to me, Billy? I'll have you know that I'm shart, and you're sooo fucking dump." You stare at your mother in disbelief. No modern parent tells their kids what to do, let alone telling them to read outside when it's -30°F! You'd freeze your dick off! Well get ready Billy, because if even the thought of reading Harry Potter in less than a minute has already blown your brain to Mars, then reading this page would've surely blown your brain to Jupiter. (Full article...)
Microwave oven
- Article feature date: 22 January 2026
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{{FA|date=22 January 2026|revision=6527439}}(Only add this after this page has saved) - This section can safely be removed on 26 January 2026
22 January 2026
The microwave oven is a rectangular box, usually white in color, which is used to heat up random objects such as tin foil, doll heads, frogs, and other small creatures. Microwave ovens are found in kitchens all over the world, and have been featured in thousands of online videos made by middle school aged teens. Microwaves have also been recognized as the head chef of many establishments, such as Olive Garden. Often called a nuclear oven as opposed to a conventional oven, this infernal device could only be conceived by the cruelest minds in the DEEPEST PITS OF HELL, most undoubtedly conceived by such abhorrid demon philosophers as Heinrich Himmler, Jack the Ripper, and Al Gore, in a fashion that Lucifer's own damned, radiating evilness served as a rudimentary template of unholy culinary design, the microwave is an ingenious yet simple device used to burn food around the edges, turn bacon into rubber, make biscuits into hockey pucks, burn water, create civil unrest in African countries, stale a newly opened can of Guinness, cancel your favorite TV sitcom, interrupt your wireless internet connection, excommunicate the Pope, and explode hamsters by zapping them with rays of concentrated evil. Rays of concentrated evil cause atoms to become angry, thus raising their temperatures. When turned on, a microwave oven goes bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzyyyyyyyzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! (Full article...)