User:Camred/Guitar Tabs

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This peice of info. is too serious so it was segregated Guitar Tabs were invented around 300 years ago and was completely shunned from the musical society unti l about 10 to 15 years ago now many musicians belive that it is the only way to play guitar. Their is no way to learn Music Theory for tableture because tableture doesn't use notes. Check our friends at wikipedia [1]

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A common Guitar tab player as you can notice he, no sorry she; no wait maybe its an it but it doesn't really matter because whatever it is looks very very sad. But hey at least its a step up from Guitar hero well, I won't say that.

Overview

Guitar tabs were the first and for a while the only way to play guitar, but recently people (while high on pot) decided to "take a trip to the past" and well, now their trying to get Back to the Future

The Truth

Along with help from jehovah's witness I've been trying to stop the problems of today. The truth as you see is that Guitar Tabeliture has no value for your not learning music your learning sounds so you should just eat a pancake.

How do you know if you suck you may ask?

If your most difficult song you know how to play is Mary had a little lamb, YOU SUCK. If your mother is the only person alive who you can pay to listen to you, YOU SUCK. If your favorite thing to do in life is play guitar and you can't play anything worth a shit, YOU SUCK AT GUITAR AND LIFE. Finally if you are one of the many people who really just looove to play and think that you are really really good but never, ever try to find out if you are, YOU SUCK. Chuck Norris rests his case.

Its Effect on Society

Our information suggests that people who play only tabs are 90% more likely to suck at guitar. 87% more likely to never have or ever will get layed, and... 112%(12 doing it more than once) actually listening to and enjoying crappy music such as Nirvana, Jack Johnson, and of course Jonas Brothers but, as it had been warned by the CHE(comitte of head explosion)their heads all exploded within 6 hours because that music isn't supposed to be enjoyed.

Rehab

Though if you do learn tabelature and never had learned music you are illterate and really quite dumb. You also are illiterate. Their are many sites on the internet that offer rehab for guitar tablature addiction, porn obsession, and masterbational Frankinstein obsession MFO

Musical Theory of Tabelature

$Moo+Beee|boo|bop|bop|bee|baa|bam*(number|of|beers)/remaining|brain|cells=howpopulartococaineaddicts$ If you plan to appeal to any other audience you must be Huffing Kittens, or more possibly just plain stupid.

For Theory of Musical Tablature 
See, Musical Theory of Tabelatue

Common people who only read tablature

There are many people currently who enjoy tabelature. You have your emos who all have no skill at all and rather cut themselves then anything else. Your homosexuals who really use it as a primative form of a courtship, and finally the hippies who after constructing their strings solely out of pot proceed to try to bum off money, play music about being high, be high, and secretly offer themselves to the homosexuals for a little bit of money.

The Problem with the guitartablisists

Along with little skill with guitar, little skill in life, and little skill when raping small children, those people who only play guitar tabs are obsessed with World Of Warcraft and other games played by the SC (socially Challeged) or nerds.

How to stop this problem

You don't have to try to stop this problem for if you are smarter than your average bear you their won't be a problem. Really their are many things that you can do but mostly you can just use your brain. Or you can have intelligence greater than a Yak who just had a stroke, either way you need to remember that you enjoy killing small animals. Also you can just use your brain.

The Conclusion

Theirfore I concur that you are retarded for even condering reading why guitar tabs are horrible because you should already know it. Honestly, if you need help you should start laying off the small chidren,try to not eat too much cabbage(because cabbage is babbage) and stay away from the Bipolar bears trust me they will destroy you...