User:FookYooChineseFood
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Introduction[edit | edit source]
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And on the eighth day, there was Barack Hussein Obama II (born August 4, 1961, in the paradise of Hawaii, because he is so heavenly he could only be born in paradise) is a wonderful, loving angel sent by God Himself to bless the United States of America with his magnificent presence and unsurpassable greatness. He received the Nobel Peace Prize because of his magnificent greatness, even before he has done the magnificent things to earn the prize, because the Nobel committee knew just by his soaring speeches and his undeniably wonderful ideology of making us all the property of the government, that he would rise to a greatness never before seen in the history of this or any other planet. While most people think that he is the child of Barack Hussein Obama Sr. and Ann Dunham, he is actually an Immaculate and Divine conception, delivered to Ms. Dunham in a virgin birth. As President, our valiant ultra-saint is intent of helping the oppressed common people receive their fair share of American wealth, and on taking back from the filthy evil rich (that is, the conservatives who have enough money to resist his angelic greatness) all of their filthy lucre and redistributing it to the oppressed poor people (that is, the poor people who voted for him and need to do so again). Ohhh, for the day when these pesky elections are no longer needed, and our beautiful cherub of wondrous light can be president for life, or even eternity! Our beloved wondrous King -- oops, President -- has made us so much more secure by using the weapons that the filthy horrible evil stupid disgusting neocon George W. Bush used to oppress terrorists, to protect us, with lovely little drones in our skies. He has appointed wonderful czars to protect us and help us out, and the evil republicans can't do anything about what they do because the czars answer only to Barack's worshipful greatness! When the evil Republicans in Congress stand in the way, Barack just gives them his holy rope-a-dope and takes matters in his own lovely hands! And, to stop the evil Tea Party from abusing the First Amendment and daring to criticize his almighty wonderful self, he is putting a kill switch on the Internet! How wonderful! Now we only have to listen to the good and approved news from the neutral places, such as MSNBC! He is so, so wonderful! |
Barack Hussein Obama II (born August 4, 1961, in Kenya, Indonesia or some other foreign country) is the child of Satan and The Wicked Witch of the West. He is an evil megalomaniac, intent on taking over the United States of America, enslaving its citizens, and torturing all conservatives to death. A hater of liberty, he is an avid follower in the philosophies of Hitler, Mao-Tse Tung, Karl Marx, Stalin and Charles Nelson Reilly. The socialists of this world, seeing an opening to destroy America and eliminate it as the last best hope for freedom, gave Obama the Nobel Peace Price for nothing. He hadn't done crap and he was given this prize in the hope that he would ruin America, and that is his sole mission in life. As president, the foreigner Obama has moved to ruin the productive in society, and to bribe the less fortunate into voting for him by stripping the wealth of the productive. He has moved decisively to eliminate personal freedoms, and has even ordered hits on unarmed American citizens. He has flooded our skies with unmanned drones to spy on and randomly kill dissenters. He has appointed people to unaccountable high offices without a thought of obeying that annoying Constitution. He is having his henchmen install a kill switch on the Internet to gag the dissent from any voice, so that all they have to listen to is his Big Lie. |
Biography[edit | edit source]
Early Life[edit | edit source]
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As a young boy, little Barack would merrily walk on the Pacific Ocean, talking to each little dolphin and fish in its own language, and telling them how he and only he could make their lives better. One day, when he was turning some water into wine for his parents' dinner, little Barack said that he was going to become a community organizer, then a state senator, then a U.S. Senator, and then he would beat an old grumpy white man and become president. His family marveled at him, and thought he was a little bit -- different. And different he was. Little Barack early on rejected the filthy mess that is the Constitution, knowing that because some of its writers owned slaves, the whole document was stupid and worthless. Little Barack quickly came to see that only he knew what was good for the country, and looked to hang out with people who had the same ideas. He found out those people who knew that Karl Marx was the true prophet of good, and who realized that anyone who was rich could only be evil -- unless they supported him. |
Obama began his life in Kenya, with his father, who taught him how to torture, kill and eat puppies. He began his indoctrination into hating America at a young age. We know that there is a Hawaiian birth certificate for him, and furthermore that there was a birth announcement in a Honolulu newspaper, but we don't care, because we are determined to believe that Obama is not eligible to become president. Obama's parents, heathens both, divorced in 1963, teaching the child to hate the traditional family. Obama also learned that America was evil, from his father who attended Harvard, a bastion of America-hatred and anti-American sentiments. His mother found some Indonesian guy named Soetero to marry and Obama became Barry Soetero, technically his real name to this day. But, in order to politically leverage muslims, he reverted to the name of Barack Obama. His mother died in 1995, and Obama and his half sister burned her corpse and engaged in pollution and littering by scattering her ashes on a Hawaiian beach. So if you roll around in the sand and feel weird, you are probably covered in Obama's mother. |
Community Organizer[edit | edit source]
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Our beloved wonderful messiah |
Obama went as a foreign student to Occidental College, and has managed to keep his grades secret, because he was taking English as a second language courses. He also took courses in art in order to be able to forge a convincing birth certificate. He then went to Harvard Law School and learned to hate America and all for which it stands. He also learned that the government should be the substitute for God in the lives of all people, and that only people who believe like him were smart enough to run everybody else's lives. After sacrificing two of his composite girlfriends to satan, Obama made an evil pact to take over the country and achieve what Hitlet, Mao and the others could not, total subjugation. |
College[edit | edit source]
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Our majestic hero began his higher studies at Occidental College in Los Angeles. During our blessed Barack's time in L.A., the earthquakes stopped. The Earth began to cool, the oceans began to recede, and Barack was the ultimate expression of cool! After two years of blessing California with his angelic greatness, Barack moved on to New York and finished his college at Columbia. Even though the filthy traitor George W. Bush hired John Gotti to stop our wonderful Barack's ascendency to |
Obama started to study at Occidental College as a foreign student. He has managed to hide his true studies from the people, because he studied Art to learn how to convincingly forge a birth certificate And English as a second language. Obama was a specialist in studying the methods of election fraud and dictatorship in preparation to fulfill his end of a contract he negotiated with satan to destroy this country from within and subjugate its people to an eternity of despair and torment. Obama then went on to Harvard Law to study advanced America-hatred. He was so adept at his studied that he was appointed the editor of the Harvard Law review. He has argued extensively that the Constitution is garbage and that people like him are better than everyone else and ought to rule America. |
College[edit | edit source]
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Our majestic hero began his higher studies at Occidental College in Los Angeles. During our blessed Barack's time in L.A., the earthquakes stopped. The Earth began to cool, the oceans began to recede, and Barack was the ultimate expression of cool! After two years of blessing California with his angelic greatness, Barack moved on to New York and finished his college at Columbia. Even though the filthy traitor George W. Bush hired John Gotti to stop our wonderful Barack's ascendency to |
Obama started to study at Occidental College as a foreign student. He has managed to hide his true studies from the people, because he studied Art to learn how to convincingly forge a birth certificate And English as a second language. Obama then went on to Harvard Law to study advanced America-hatred. He was so adept at his studied that he was appointed the editor of the Harvard Law review. He has argued extensively that the Constitution is garbage and that people like him are better than everyone else and ought to rule America. |