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Today's featured article (new every day)

Biffy Clyro (1).jpg

Biffy Clyro is a Scottish rock band from Scotland. As well as being Scottish, nobody outside of the rainy isles has heard of them. The band is composed of one Scottish guy, and two other Scottish guys who are for some reason twins, even though they look nothing alike. During concerts, the trio are joined by musicians Mike Vennart and Dick "99% of Gamblers Quit Before They Win it Big" Ingram. Currently signed to 14th Floor Records, they have released at least six albums. Following the first three, their maybe-existent fan base grew to slightly larger numbers. As for who they actually are, I'm still not sure. I'm pretty sure they're a band, however. As well as being from Scotland, they are apparently very popular in the UK, which is not a place I've visited. As for their music... I'm not sure that exists either. (Full article...)

Did you know...

MrWinklerIsGay.gif
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Einsteinporn.jpg
  • ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
  • ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
  • ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
MrWinklerIsGay.gif
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
Einsteinporn.jpg
  • ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
  • ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
  • ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
  • ... that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ... that on 17 June 2007, Britain was mercilessly hit by an attack of 'falling water'?
  • ... that cow tipping is a term that describes the custom of giving bovines an additional sum of money in exchange for their milk, meat, or other services?
  • ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
MrWinklerIsGay.gif
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
  • ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
  • ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
  • ... that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
  • ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?

In the news

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On this day...

At least you know what you're getting into.

March 12: Indecent Exposure Day

Today's featured picture

Jesus on Raptor
Some modifications have been made to the newest translation of the Holy Bible. In this scene (often called "Palm Sunday"), Jesus is now riding a raptor. While this was partially made to help make Jesus more accessible to Today's children, the decision was also made because certain Christians didn't want people to be able to say that Jesus was "riding someone's ass" that day. Both scientists and fundamental Christians question the historical accuracy of this account. From the New Cooler Edition: "And Christ touched the Velociraptor, and the Velociraptor was tamed." Luke 13:37 (NCE)

Image credit: Tshell
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Recent Articles


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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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