User:Braydie/Main page

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit. 37,628 articles in English

Politics Games Computers

People Quaint Coherent

Science History All

Today's featured article (new every day) Yo, Dawg! You wanna pimp a ho!? But you ain’t got no ho 'ta pimp? Simple fool! First thang that a pimp needs is some good sense, and it jus’ ain’t good sense that you can pimp a ho, without no mothafuckin’ ho. So you gotta get recuitin' some bitch ta be yo' ho, and you put that bitch ta wurk. The history of hos ‘n’ pimps is some plain shit, Holmes. The first cave brotha told the first cave bitch, "yo, mama, get yo' mud-flappin' ass outta here. Go'n fuck 'nother cave chump, ho! An' bring back some mothafuckin' bones!" That's when pimpin’ hos was born, man. My bitches be shy, an' they needs a po-lite introduction. That's what pimps is fo'! Now gettin’ a ho be smooth in my hood, coz’ a lotta bitches chillin’ round lookin’ fo' a pimp, so I got me all kinds-a mothafuckin’ hos. That’s why I’s tellin’ ya. That‘s why I’s sweatin’ writin' this here shiit. Cos' I’s the man in my hood. I’s ‘super-pimp’. And cos' this hea jive-ass Uncyclopedia come an’ ask my advice. So, yo! Hea' this'. You can listen-up if you want ‘thang’ on how ta pimp a ho. (Full article...) Recently featured: Pikmin Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men? ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal? ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men? ... that sarcasm is a higher form of wit than the Russian Reversal? ... that women are more likely to have a vagina than men?	In the news Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured) NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced Santa's Elves on strike UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game? Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe) On this day... April 16: 42nd Josef Stalin Appreciation Day (World) 1560 BC - Moses forgets to take his schizophrenia pills and begins to hear voices. He takes off from Ur, resulting in all of modern humanity's problems. 1855 - Abraham and Mary Todd Lincoln enjoy a night of mad passionate love. 1878 - Joseph Stalin (Pictured) is born. Baby Hitler shudders in his Baby Hitler dreams. 1934 - Eleanor Roosevelt uncharacteristically enjoys a hotdog. 1943 - The first "Annual Miss Stalin-Look-Alike" contest is held in the Soviet Union; Joseph Stalin wins unanimously. 1953 - Desi Arnaz slaps Lucille Ball, calling her an "estupit beach" on national television. 1991 - US federal law passed forbidding driving while spreading cream cheese on a bagel. 2006 - The Queen of England decrees that all Australians must wear cork underpants. 2011 - Encyclopedia Dramatica sadly returns within 2 days of its death.
Today's featured picture You want surreal? Try wasting four hours a day waxing your 'stache until it closely resembles your entire Catalonian name. That's surreal. Image credit: Imrealized View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
edit Recent Articles Why is book? Halloween Ends Stranger Things (rw) G.I. Jane G.I. Jane 2 UnTunes:Santa Baby This is not an Article, it's a Sandwich Fairytale UnTunes:Shoes Uncyclopedia:Business (rw) Halloween Kills UnTunes:Perry the Platypus Elon's Musk UnGames:Ultimate Fishing (rw) UnTunes:Rio Herodotus (rw) Brawny Lawnmower-Humvee (rw) Steve Wozniak (rw) Narrative (rw) Bryan Adams High School Alex Trebek Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push
Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects
Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia. UnNews News on crack Uncyclopedia The content-free encyclopedia Undictionary Best left unsaid UnTunes Noisy things UnGames Ways to waste away HowTo Like Ikea without the pictures UnBooks Content-free books Unquotable Useless misquotes Uncycloversity No student loans UnPoetia Dreams deferred UnDebate Debate the irrelevant UnScripts We ruin stage too Why? Because UnReviews Hack frauds UnVoyage Armchair travel Uncyclomedia The Foundation
Uncyclopedia Languages
This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,628 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin! Uncyclopedia  English United Kingdom 37,628 Désencyclopédie  Français France 8936 Hikipedia  Suomi Finland 7300 Nonciclopedia  Italiano Italy 14423 백괴사전  한국어 South Korea 6303 איןציקלופדיה  עברית Israel 2187 Desciclopédia  Português Brazil 50785 アンサイクロペディア  日本語 Japan 19194 Nonsensopedia   Polski Poland 17766 伪基百科  汉语 Commie China 8269 偽基百科  正體中文 Taiwan 6417 Uncyclopedia.de  Deutsch Germany 6330 Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.      Other Uncyclopedias Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400 Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9095 Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2812 Valenciclopèdia Català Andorra 1060 Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 762 Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 456 Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 6054 Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009 Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4563 Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4466 Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3530 Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176 ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3132 Oncyclopedia Nederlands Belgium and Holland 2807 Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2497 Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1888 Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1731 Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1117 اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 976 نانشنامه فارسی Iran 943 Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303 Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279 Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 275 Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267 Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 234 Википедија Македонски Macedonia 175 Neciclopedie Română Romania 167 Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159 Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 105 Celwyddoniadur Cymraeg Wales 103 Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96 Nunyepedia Asturianu Asturias 59 קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 46 Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33 Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 31 Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27 Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 21 Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 19 আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 17 Ndhablek Basa Jawa Java 14 Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14 Goblogpedia Basa Sunda Sunda 11 Scotypedia Scots Scotland 10 ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 8 Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8 Kengencyclopedia Lëtzebuergesch Luxembourg 7 Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7 ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 4 Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 4 Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 4 Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 1 Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.      Article (Main) • Eald Ænglisc (Old English) • Babelfish • Blog • CafeMess (CafePress) • We get signal. (Engrish) • Galactic Basic Standard • Hitlerbear • Lietuvių Jiaunimų kalba • iHumor (Apple) • 1337 (Leet) • Re: PharmaccgRy (Mail Spam) • 조선말 (North Korean) • Newspeak • Nub (N00b) • Wildeizms (Oscar Wilde) • Manx (Pirate) • Middle Egyptian (Hieroglyphic) • Napulitana (Neapolitan) • Trekkies • Simple English • Testament • AAAAAAAAA! (Vagrant) • Vèneto (Venetian) • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese) • White Nationalist (White Supremacist) Complete list • Multilingual coordination • Requests for new languages

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.