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Today's featured article (new every day) TEL AVIV, my love, TEL AVIV! Look around at the many attractive homosexual guys, friendly waving at you and fantasizing about sodomizing your black ass at night. And God bless TEL AVIV. Tel Aviv is the self-proclaimed "the city that never sleeps" of Israel, and the United Nations-proclaimed capital of Israel. Just like the state of Palestine, which doesn't really want to be a state, the residents of Tel Aviv don't really want to be the capital city. They just know that if they ever become the capital city, they would be required to host the parliament. Since they hate politics, the residents of Tel Aviv (and the Palestinian people) prefer to be just a regular city that hosts the Eurovision now and then. That way, the Palestinians won't have to manufacture their own electricity or work places, and come to work in Tel Aviv like always. But then the 9/11 of Israel happened, and no Palestinians are allowed in Israel anymore. They just shut down a big fancy restaurant for hiring illegal Palestinians yesterday. So now all the world is declaring that Palestine is a state, but they would never give them any electricity or work places. They still need Israel for that. And Jerusalem will continue to host the parliament of Israel and the Republican crusades. (Full article...) Recently featured: My Brawl with Jason Voorhees on Halloween 1983 Video essay Charlie Kirk Cyberbullying Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"? ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more? ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"? ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more? ... that the phrase "¡Ay Chihuahua!" can be used to mean both "no, I don't have any bathtub cheese" and "yes, I have a great deal of bathtub cheese"?	In the news Not moi baybee! Dingo eats a woman's baby (Pictured) Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government continues to shit itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Angela Rayner defects to Reform UK Hollow Knight: Silksong gets released; Steam crashes for the second time this year Some mega pop star and her football player boyfriend get engaged. Yaaay. NFL teams replace female cheerleaders with gay dudes Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C. • World Series (now featuring endless innings!) • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince Recent deaths: Trump's pet sloth • Robert Redford • U.S. Federal Government • Jane Goodall • The Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart Upcoming deaths: DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career• Coral reefs • Capitalism in NYC • MLB fans' sleep schedules • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa On this day... November 2: All Soul Food Day 30 AD - Jesus Christ gives his first public performance, with supporting act Judas Iscariot and his Break-dancing Bethlehemites. 1407 - Your mom was born. 1687 - Exactly the same events happen on this day as they will on July 2nd, 1991 1765 - James Brown eats his soul, hence All Soul Food Day is declared. Satan supposedly interested. 1990 - German President Michael Schumacher is eaten by a bear, and lives to tell the tale. 1991 - Exactly the same events occur that happened on July 2nd 1687.
Today's featured picture Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice. Image credit: Mhaille View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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