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Today's featured article (new every day) Edward Christopher "Ed" [insert singular 3rd person subjective pronoun]eran (born 17 February 1991 - died NEVER) is a Canadian-British singer-songwriter, actor, owner of a bar in London, and Rupert Grint lookalike. He is also known as "Teddy" on Instagram. Additionally, he is considered to be the "one true god" of his home country, and even the entire world. Asides from that, he's known to the public as the "Ginger Jesus". Ed is arguably a fad of the year 2017 and also a British nationalist. Even though his career was meant to fade away at the end of the 2010s, he manages to still make music to this day, much to everyone's annoyances. He is known to have a lot of chart hits, especially in the UK, including "The B Team", "Untitled (Take Me Into Your Loving Arms)", "Nothing Happens After Two" and most infamously, "I'm Back & I'm Desperate". However, they are most likely plagiarized, but he still gets away with it. His private life isn't very well known, thanks to having no surveillance cameras in his home and the fact that the address to it is changed every day. Despite having a male given name, Ed somehow manages to have female pronouns as part of his surname, so, logically, he would've instantly became a "she" right away. Oh fuck, how do we go by them again? (Full article...) Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured) ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle? ... that you just lost the Game? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured) ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured) ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle? ... that you just lost the Game? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that Gypsies are stealing your carrots right now? (Pictured) ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell? ... that the admins will never approve your DYK submission nor will they read these suggestions? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that my mom's name is also Martha? ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured) ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that you should invest in chicken stock? ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis? ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle? ... that you just lost the Game? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?	In the news 1977-2026 So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • Seattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day Recent deaths: Kianna Underwood • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again On this day... February 17: Sheeranist New Year (United Kingdom) 1991 - Famed British musician Ed Sheeran is born. Brits rejoice that their Messiah is finally with them. 1996 - Gary Kasparov loses a game of chess to a computer, like that's never happened to anyone before. 2008 - USA bombs some country after the military finds a few extra bombs hiding in an old pair of pants. 2017 - Denmark is officially recognized as a mistake and erased from history. 2026 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.
Today's featured picture Popular Al Jazeera reality series "Jihad My Ride" features, among other Muslim celebrities, Mahmoud "I-Wanna-Jihad" Ahmadinejad taking normal automobiles and making them "The Bomb". Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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