Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
We gotta problem here boys, and it ain't goin' away by prayin' about it, I can tellz ya dat. Ya all know what I'm talkin' about. Festivus: Dat holiday celebrated on December 23rd dat dat polite Jew boy Seinfeld came up with. It's got me peein' my pants, and I'll tell you why.
For a long time we've had dis thing, dis Christmas, all to ourselves. Biggest moneymaker since da mugs came up with mortal sin. Sure, sure, we had to wrestle Christmas away from da pagans, Jews, and dose other witches. Then some of da other boys, youse Lutherans and Pressbeterians and dem, dey started piggybacking on da meal ticket. Cock-a-roaches.
But even so, Christmas was still pretty much ours, all de way from St. Peta takin' the reigns to Santa Claus providin' backup. But I dares ya to take a nun, a shovel, and a flashlight, and go underneath the Vatican and order her to start diggin'. Know what yu'd find? St. Peta and Claus spinin' in dere graves, right next to Jesus and Holy Mudda Mary in deres doin' backflips. All because of a goddamn TV show! (Full article...)
You can vote for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose.
What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!
What be worrying the Land Lubbers
Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...
From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains:
Recent press ganged crew
Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
For Pirate related chat, see This instructional pirated video.