John is in his bed and the alarm clock goes off.
RADIO ANNOUNCER 1
It's Grouuuuuuuundhog Day!
RADIO ANNOUNCER 2
That's right. Welcome to another sunny day in beautiful Pittsburgh. Today we're gonna find out if our winter will last another few weeks or not.
John is confused and doesn't really know where he is. The door opens and his son Mark enters.
Happy Groundhog Day Dad!
Dad? Who are you? I don't have a son. (Full article...)
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What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!
July 31: Feast of St. Leslie Nielsen (Uncyclopedia)
- 781 – The oldest redorced eruption of noted volcano Mt. Fuji occurs, raining the Japanese countryside with scorched lenses and bits of charred film.
- 1498 – Christopher Columbus, on his third voyage to the Western Hemisphere, still refuses to ask for directions to India.
- 1588 – The Spanish Armada is spotted off of England; very few were expecting said Inquisition.
- 1919 – Germany's Weimar Constitution and Other Fables is penned.
- 1921 – The International Astronomical and Astrological Society dubs Gemini (pictured) to be the most revered of all constellations.
- 1947 – Jingo Grand Championship: India headbutts the UK negating its win of 1858. Mahatma Gandhi is named player of the year and becomes the first to claim "I'm going to Disney World".
- 1951 – V.S. Pritchett publishes Mr. Beluncle, which quickly became a minor classic among English readers, yet was not well supported by American critics who responded with silly faces and much brow-furrowing.
- 1992 – Harry Potter is born.
- 3491 – Third Robot invasion of U.S. capital Grand Forks, North Dakota is repelled by soldiers under the leadership of president George Bush XXVI.
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