Babel:Gv
Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to Pirateopedia (formally HMS Uncyclopedia), the duty-free encyclopedia that pirates can edit Arghh! Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 38,238 ships since we set sail in January 2005. Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank. Buried Treasure:
Most Succesful Pirates | LLoyds List's | Other Ships... |
Marvinitus Martin Raymond Francisco Xiahou Sergei Magnus Barnabus Mahatma Felipe Gregorios Heinrich Jozef Habiboo Yertlebert Adelbert Chandler Stanislaus Bartholomew Constantine Maximillian Rutherford Cornelius Escobar Doritos Sanchez Agamemnon Hecatoncheires Horst Johannes Salvatore Jamal Muhammad Achmed Siegfried Giuseppe Abraham Roger Van Buren, better known simply as Marvin Van Buren, or even simplier as Marvin, and to the really lazy as just "Marv" was born the eleventh illegitimate bastard child to Martin Van Buren and his mate, Canadian physicist Raymond Von Funkenstein, who was notoriously better known as "The Face-Eating Baby Rapist." Needless to say, Raymond lacked any close friends. Marvin was the only child to survive the insatiable hunger of his father who ate the rest of his siblings (Raymond stood idly by, making cocoa as this happened.) Many consider him to be very lucky to survive his dad's wippings appetite but Marvin considers himself unlucky, claiming "If I had been raped when I was a few weeks old, I would have never slipped on that dick when I was 27, because that was really embarassing." While Marvin's claims are technically valid, they've also been called "extremely stupid," "selfish" and "tasty." When Marvin was old enough to crawl, he ran away from his crazy father into the woods where he was adopted by a creature resembling a cross between Bambi and a can of halved tomatoes. He was brought up to think, look, and act like the Bambi/tomato can hybrid but soon enough he murdered the creature because, as Marvin says "it was tryin to fuck with who I was!" He then made his way into Canada where he spent the rest of his unbelievably long life. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can vote for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose. More of the best Pirates from the good ship Pirateopedia What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!October 20: Run out of ideas for Uncyclopedia anniversaries day
|
What be worrying the Land Lubbers
"The tastiest fries you'll ever taste! Also they're actually McDonalds fries"
Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • NFL season • World Series
Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains: | |||||||
Recent press ganged crew
| ||||||||
Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the MonthHoly cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
|
All donations go toward the continuation of Uncyclopedia and its community of volunteer editors. If Uncyclopedia has ever made you laugh then we invite you to donate and help us pay for our expensive server(s). You can make all donations using your PayPal account or debit/credit card here. You can also support your local Uncyclopedia by purchasing merchandise from our merchandise store where 15% of all sales goes toward Uncyclopedia. If you cannot donate but still want to help Uncyclopedia monetarily, you can click some of the ads in our e-store to help us keep the rest of the site ad free.
For Pirate related chat, see This instructional pirated video.
Protected by the Law of the Sea, and an elite crew of Ghost Piratess.