Babel:Gv

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Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to Pirateopedia (formally HMS Uncyclopedia), the duty-free encyclopedia that pirates can edit Arghh!


Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 40,505 ships since we set sail in January 2005.

Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)

Buried Treasure:

Bilge Rats | Games | Marine Technology | Pirates | Grog | Coherent
Most Succesful Pirates | LLoyds List's | Other Ships...


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Analog horror (Horrori internetus analogus) is an invasive species that have infested the realms of the interwebs, especially in the deserted landscape known as YouTube. Some traits that these species share include horrible visual effects, some dumb storyline of someone recording a video then dying for no reason, stretched out faces, and absurd amounts of static. It is an incredibly dangerous species and it is highly advised to not walk near it, as immediate contact with it can lead to severe health issues such as boredom and, in the worst of cases, cringe. (Full article...)

You can vote for your favorite Pirate to be avoid the handmans noose.

More of the best Pirates from the good ship Pirateopedia


What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!

August 14: Brutal dictator appreciation day (Saudi Arabia & Jacksonville, FL)

  • Long time ago - Emperor takes over the galaxy in Star Wars (TM)
  • 1844 - Toast is invented
  • 1855 - Following the war of a thousand toasters, the recipe for toast is lost for over 5000 years.
  • 1856 - Toast is rediscovered.
  • 1857 - Toast is forgotten.
  • 1880 - Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany, is completed. It smells great!
  • 1923 - Start of the Dotcom Era.
  • 1987 - A young explorer named Wally is reported missing.
  • 2001 - George W. Bush is "elected" by his daddys friends to be president of the United States.
  • 2005 - Ego is discovered to be, in fact, a dirty word.
  • 2006 - Horizontal Line is discovered in your pants.
  • 2007 - Vertical line is discovered in the inside of your pants.
  • 2007 - Hitler is finally mentioned in Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day. Took long enough.
  • 2008 - The first "sort of" black dictator introduced into the history of the US. People take to the streets with high hopes of a kinder, gentler dictator.
  • 2009 - Nut and penis implants are invented
  • 2010 - Nut and penis implants found to cause cancer. Some 1.3 million white gangstas are affected.
  • 2012 - Dick Cheney dies because his cold blackened void of a heart fails. The world is finally safe.
  • 3012- 1000th "Screw Dick Cheney" Day cancelled by Undead Bush


Archived doings

What be worrying the Land Lubbers


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"It's for the children's own good!"

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk)

Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael MadsenBill Cosby's TV sonBryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy OsbourneChuck MangioneHulk HoganResident AlienDown syndromeTom LehrerThe systemFUBAR

Upcoming deaths: DEIPittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid GameMAGAJoe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates


Pirate Times


Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...

From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains:

  • ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?


Read More

Recent press ganged crew


More Recently press-ganged crew | Most wanted pirates | Requested Keel Haulings | Add to stumps | Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot | Help out the land-lubbers

Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

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