Babel:Gv

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Ahoy, me hearty and welcome to Pirateopedia (formally HMS Uncyclopedia), the duty-free encyclopedia that pirates can edit Arghh!


Davey Jones has inspired us to sink and pillage 41,053 ships since we set sail in January 2005.

Before running out your guns, please read the ships charter and the pirates code or you'll be Walking the Plank.
If you scurvy dogs still are still a bit confused then speak to polly(sqwark, Pieces of Eight, Pieces of Eight)

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Gerald Ford stares down the barrel of a Pants Vaporizer.
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Aragorn Arrowroot Elessar the Strider is a hero to all of Middle Earth, the royal king of Gondor by bloodline and the husband of Arwen the Lady of Rivendell, daughter of Elrond the Elf, Lord of Long Robe. Born in the Second Stone Age of Arnor which on everyone else's calendar was the period of time in the Third Age between 2931 to 3000. After that everyone was either looking for ways around the long thousand‑year ages and trying to cull them down to something that would fit on the kitchen wall or a journal even when journals during these times were the size of stone slabs or bricks.

Aragorn was trained to be a ninja and a cook. He was the ultimate firewood gatherer and he hated the Ringwraiths. He was also very skilled in the Elven languages of two different tribes consisting of the warrior elves and that of the regular, normal forest elves that just wanted to bake lembas bread and cookies, and do hobbit activities such as drinking and smoking a lot, making babies and getting drunk again, and eating more food, and making more babies and gathering more kittens, puppies, and ponies. Without the hassle of having to be dragged off to some nasty war, getting all dirty. Aragorn could communicate with both factions of elves but the latter was a bit more nervous whenever he'd bring up subjects like patrolling the woods for wraiths. Having a looksee at what's left of Moria. And going to Mordor to defeat a Dark Lord who lives near an angry and active volcano. Legolas and Gimli were really the only ones down with that sort of thing. (Full article...)

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What were we getting up too in past years, Arghhhh!

"No, seriously. Who is he?"

December 7: Official Who The Hell Is Spartacus Day

Archived doings

What be worrying the Land Lubbers


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Those poor bastards.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard


Pirate Times


Arghh, I'll wagger you didn't know that...

From Uncyclopedia's roughest captains:

  • ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?


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Recent press ganged crew


More Recently press-ganged crew | Most wanted pirates | Requested Keel Haulings | Add to stumps | Marooned with nowt but a pistol and one shot | Help out the land-lubbers

Pirate of the Month and Swabbie of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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