User talk:Mordillo/archive18

Usurping thy chastity

Thou art a virgin no more. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 11:10 • Wednesday, 6-01-2010

You cheated! ~ 12:24, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

He'll have to take your other virginity. Seeing as how you are male and I beat him to it, I have no idea how he'g going to do that. Best thing is to lie down and get it over with, I suppose. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Hmm.. It's difficult but it's not impossible. Give me a pocket-knife and an empty bucket and I'll get it done in no time. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 13:03 • Wednesday, 6-01-2010

Talk like that and people'll think you're Olipro's sockpuppet! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:05, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Raep

Thanks for your time. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:11, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

My pleasure. You can leave a tip in the jar marked "tips". ~ 12:06, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

What, and destroy two thousand years of goy stereotyping? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:11, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, you're right. You can leave your loan in the jar marked "unreasonable levels of interest". ~ 12:15, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Heheheh:-D Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:17, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

This isn't an example of Irony

19:05, January 5, 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked JeChr (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus is dead. He's not coming back.)

But I lolled anyways. Jew. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:22, 6 Jan

Did you see what he was doing? He was replacing peoples' pages with summaries of why you should convert to Christianity. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 23:26, 6 January 2010 (UTC)

I don't care, I was just teasing my pet Jew. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:30, 6 Jan

*woof* ~ 23:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)

Good boy. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:53, 6 Jan

Greetings in 2010, in the Goyim calendar at least..

I just wanted to throw a tantrum about not being in any of the worst reflections in either 2009, 2010. This saddens me. Plus have you seen my latest article?;)--Sycamore (Talk) 12:26, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

That's probably because you were ABSENT most of the year Mister! And no, not yet. I'll take a look. ~ 12:29, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Chuck Norris

It's an article about Chuck Norris and I added something about his biggest fight. What's wrong with it? It's neither consistent non inconsistent with the rest of the article.--AnotherD++ 17:43, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Fortunately, this question is neither consistent non inconsistent with the rest of Mordillo's talk page. pillow talk 17:52, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

And that's fortunate? AnotherD++ - notice that the current version of Chuck doesn't deal primarily with his fights, but takes a more subtle way to deal with him. The previous versions of the article were all about CHUCK KILLED THIS and CHUCK KILLED THAT and it got boring quickly, and your edit went out of the current undertone style of the article. It was bad by itself, it just didn't fit with the article. ~ 20:00, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Also, if you put one part about Chuck fighting with Fedor, you'll have people swarming all over the article telling how he fought with Mr. T., Hitler, Moses, Jesus and every other south part character you can imagine. ~ 20:02, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Hey, you voted for my article on VFH and helped make it a feature.

8===========D~ ~ ~ ~O:

And I'm too lazy to make a proper template for it. Thanks! sausage lol 18:47, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Ah yes, another penis, that's exactly what I needed. ~ 19:55, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Publicity Policy?

Just checking on if you have a publicity policy, or people working on publicity. For example, the article on the Indy Colts, does uncy as an entity have someone who contacts the Indianapolis sports writers and tells them of its existence? This would publicize the site, but I don't know if uncy wants publicity. I'm not volunteering (work. lazy.) but could give ideas and locate articles on the site which reporters may have an interest in mentioning. Enjoy, Aleister in Chains Year 5, Day 2 MMX

We don't really have a policy. Every now an then we do get that (see: category:mediawatch and the links on the specific articles) but we don't go actively telling people. Personally I don't see any problem with it. Also, most of them get indexed in a reasonable high position in Google. ~ 20:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

And I can see a downside too. Same example, the Colts management or friends might try to send a few people in to vandalize the article and even the site, And the Star of David page, let's let the Israeli papers know all about it. And with publicity would come an influx of new ips just itching to vandalize their favorite page (happens now but multiplied 10 or a 100 fold(. Just a thought, esp. concerning topical subjects. Aleister in Chains Light year traveled, MMX

But then we're here to publish content are we not? We're not here to write to each other but rather to the widest possible audience. We'll always have vandals, with or without publicity, and we can alway protect articles from editing if we need. ~ 20:41, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Best point of all, you are correct sir. I don't want to head one up, but if someone gets a media committee organized I'll be the first, or tenth, to sign up. Aleister in Chains Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away, MMMX

On a different note, why don't you prepare a signature? I will make it easier for you to sign pages. ~ 20:52, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Zana actually made one for me, but I've had trouble loading up the code correctly. Will get back to it within the weekmonth. I'm a novice at code, and have learned alot in my time here by playing on the pages and looking at edit code. My sig shiuld emerge shortly. Aleister in Chains In the days of lore, MMX

Hallelujah brother. ~ 08:38, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Poopsmithin'

Quick question - other than archiving VFD, Ban Patrol, QVFD and making new archive pages when necessary, is there anything else that I can do as a poopsmith? For all it's said to be a thankless task it's not really that much of a task and only takes a few minutes of my time (unless MadMax is around and beats me to it, as was the case today). Is there anything else I can add to the list of poopsmith jobs? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:50, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

You can always take over the running of the HowTo main page. Also, I think Why} might need some updating as well. But let me look over the list of crap and throw some more feces down your way :). I have to say I admire how you don't give up on that thankless job. ~ 08:52, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Thankless it may be, but it's not that much of a job really. I'll have a look at HowTo and Why - I've been thinking of creating some sort of Unformercials portal too, as it's a neglected area that could yield much humour with a bit of effort and attention. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 09:25, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

That sounds like a great idea actually! ~ 09:36, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Seconded. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 09:38 • Friday, 8-01-2010

I had a look at HowTo and have updated the feature - I'll keep an eye on it and change it from time to time if nobody else does so. Also discovered that two of mine have been featured on there, which I had no idea about! What's the deal on Why - the features are voted, but obviously receive far fewer votes than VFH. How many "fors" does an article need to be considered featurable? Or do I just assume totalitarian control and feature anything once it's got more "fors" than "againsts" for the sake of maintaining some sort of activity on the page? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:45, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

I think with the Why? voting page, that has virtually zero traffic, you can just make the decision as with the HowTo. We can always revert if people will suddenly start voting, though I doubt it. ~ 23:42, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

quick question

What's the policy on removing stuff from voting pages that I don't like as it may raise drama? If, for example, I think a nom for UotM is not a valid nom. Is there a policy on that? Pup

I'd say have a chat with an admin about that rather than removing content yourself. Is there anything specific? ~ 12:53, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

I have a similar question, too. If, say, I posted something on somebody's talkpage, then I removed it for whatever reason. Does he have the right to revert me, being the "owner" of the page? Or do I have the absolute right to undo my contributions no matter whose page it is? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 13:13 • Friday, 8-01-2010

There's no strict rules about that. I'd say that if you regret something you say and you want to remove it from talk pages and you do it in good faith, it's OK. I've done it myself several times. Just as long as you don't get into a revert war with the talk page owner. ~ 13:29, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

OK, thanks, habibi ;) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 13:35 • Friday, 8-01-2010

Salam idaq ~ 13:37, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

What? Why didn't anyone tell me that before. Meganew, here I Come! --Matfen 18:33, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Never mind, the comedy was too good to delete. --Matfen 18:49, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

You Bastard

Mrs UU has asked me, specifically, to call you a bastard. On your recommendation, I requested Oblivion for my birthday last year - and she bought it. I am now armpits deep in Cyrodiil, obsessively hacking, slashing, burning and generally adventuring my way through it. Apart from wishing they hadn't spunked their entire voice budget on Professor X and Boromir, leaving the other voices to be recorded by about three other shabby amateurs, I'm enjoying myself immensely. The missus, on the other hand, is heartily sick of it! One question: did you join the dark brotherhood? --UU - natter 13:50, Jan 8

Hahaha. Tell Mrs. UU - my pleasure. I can give her Mordillia's phone and they can trade experiences :). Heads up - it took me 60 hours to finish, and the guy at the game shop told me that I took the easy way, because apparently it's much longer! It is a bit freakish how you have 5 charachters talking amongst themselves and they all use the same voice! I gave them nicknames, like - the old fart, the sexy girl and the prune. And of course I joined the Dark Brotherhood! That's loads and loads of fun. ~ 13:54, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I reckon it'll take me a lot longer - I did say I was doing it obsessively, I've been playing about 40 hours already, and have barely bothered with the main quest yet. Thing is, the missus can't exactly complain, she's working her way through her complete collection of Friends, and when that's done she's got sets of Charmed and Sex and the City to work through. How is spending hours doing that any better than spending hours slaying orcs? --UU - natter 14:00, Jan 8

Oi, you two are playing a fantasy RPG now? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 14:13 • Friday, 8-01-2010

That's not RPG. It's life man! Real life! also UU, three more weeks to Mass Effect 2 ~ 14:35, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Eh, for me, the reason I'm still living is that it's seven more weeks to Battlefield Bad Company 2 SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 14:45 • Friday, 8-01-2010

Pccchhhhh 14:53, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

After Oblivion and Fallout, I think I officially have a man-crush on everyone at Bethesda. Also, I got Lady Woody a Kindle. So she just sits there and reads/acts as my pillow while I play. Really a fine purchase on my part, and I suggest the two of you to do the same. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 15:00, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

I think we should establish the Uncyclopedia Association for Female Victims of Uncyclopedia Editors. ~ 15:03, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

I know - got it preordered. That's 3 weeks to try and finish everything in Oblivion. And Then 3 more weeks to try and complete ME2 before the baby arrives and my attention is supposed to be elsewhere... --UU - natter 15:30, Jan 8

better get the missus two kindles and some flowers then ~ 15:38, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

That's an amazing game. It gets a little broken at high levels, though, like when you finally put together a 100% Chameleon suit and can pretty much walk past and/or kill anything without any chance that it will retaliate. Then again, Fallout 3 gets similarly broken at the highest levels. pillow talk 19:56, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Actually, in general, Oblivion and Fallout 3 get me thinking a lot about the ideal "difficulty curve" for a video game. There seem to be four basic approaches:

1. You have unchanging abilities, and the game gets harder and harder and harder. (ex: Super Mario Bros. 3)

2. You get a little stronger as the game proceeds, but the game itself gets *much* harder. (ex: Baldur's Gate)

3. Everything pretty much scales to you, so you get stronger at the same rate as the game, and the difficulty remains constant. (ex: Chrono Trigger).

4. You acquire virtually godlike powers by the end of the game and nothing can do anything to stop you. (ex: Oblivion, Fallout 3, Dynasty Warriors series)

I guess the real question is: which approach is most fun? Or do all four of them work equally well? {{User:Hyperbole/si

g}} 19:59, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Myself, I'd prefer the second approach, but within reason; I don't want to spend like 100 hours playing the game then find myself completely unable to advance through it because things got *much* difficult. I also don't want to play it monotonic, with the same difficulty or challenge from start to end, and I also also tend to lose my interest in the game after I've become a demigod with guns. Oh, and I won't even play a game where my character has unchanging abilities :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 20:47 • Friday, 8-01-2010

Probably it just depends on how all are implemented. I don't think SMB3 would work all that well with ex. 4. And Tetris would suck ass with ex. 3. And Oblivion/Fallout would be hilariously bad with ex. 1. hahaha. That would be awesome though... Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:14, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Since we're all taking the opportunity to call Mordillo a bastard, I thought I'd join in. Shabbat shalom, you bastard. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 22:37, January 8, 2010 (UTC)

Article

OK, check out Doc's "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques" if you haven't seen it yet. Has anything like this been on uncy before? Aleister in Chains 9 Jan MMX

Darn it, now I've gone and started some drama. Ban plz. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 04:34, Jan 9 2010

Would you like the 3 month special? I currently have the 20% off standard rates weekend. ~ 23:44, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

A chance for the rare (I assume) three-day-in-a-row-VFH hat trick? Aleister in Chains December 7, 1941

A faggot vanalized your talk page

A stupid cocksucking mother fucking IP user keeps vandalizing you page, but I reverted it both times. If you like, I could find and kill that guy--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 07:28, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Clemens? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 09:31 • Saturday, 9-01-2010

Thanks, I think Max took care of him. And I doubt it was Clemens, that wasn't his style. I'm pretty sure it's a guy I deleted his vanity page a couple of days ago. ~ 23:45, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Username change

Hey, master Mordillo. When you are not busy killing those cat-faced idiots in Oblivion, would you mind telling me how I would go about changing my username. Thanks. --Matfen 15:26, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Talk to Sannse, like I did :) SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 16:01 • Saturday, 9-01-2010

My thnks, err... Fredd. Your name change is probably for the better, as before it I thought you were a girl, no offence intended. --Matfen 16:20, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

So did I, until that fateful and embarrassing night when we drank too much vodka and got a bit friendly. Still, any hole's a goal as they say. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:23, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Are you saying that Moosh is not manly enough?! ~ 23:45, January 9, 2010 (UTC)

Holy Ra in the heavens! How dare ye blaspheme against my protrusion of sacred proportions? Nobody hath ever survived its pounding, and nobody ever wilst! Now, kneel before it in utmost obeisance, lest thou be forgiven. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME • 03:40 • Sunday, 10-01-2010

As long as it stays zipped, I kneel. I'm sure that in other areas you make up for your lack of manliness on Uncyclopedic talk pages. --Matfen 17:41, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Lack of manliness.. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • • 18:06 • Sunday, 10-01-2010

I stand corrected, sir. Feel free to unzip. --Matfen 18:20, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

About my template

For I can do, I'm a little out of time. Rhubella Marie, the rat sockpreppie preppiedits 01:05, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

The only thing you need to do is - {{subst:user:Rhubella Marie/welcome}}. That's it. ~ 01:07, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for the tip Rhubella Marie, the rat sockpreppie preppiedits 01:09, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

No problem. ~ 01:10, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Spam filter?

It won't let me edit UnNews:US surge in Afghanistan may be followed by more strategy alterations, warm fuzzy feeling because of an "f" somewhere? What? --Nikau 04:47, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Ah, it fixed itself. --Nikau 04:50, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, that was actually my mistake. Everything should be OK now. If you have any problems at ALL, please tell me on my talk page. Sorry for the inconvenience. ~Joey~ ^{{Talk to meh}} 05:08, January 10, 2010 (UTC)

Oooooh look! I'm on your talk page!

DON'T FORGET TO STUDY THESE MOVIES TOO!

And for something besides screaming at other people! Huzzah! Thanks for voting  For. HowTo:Make a B-Movie Monster! --    12:06, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Even your thank you templates are becoming ridicules :). Congrats! ~ 12:16, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Jewish cuisine

That kishke is by far the most disturbing shock image I have ever seen on the internet. We're going to need the NSFW tag on the article now! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:46, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

I was looking for the worse I could find....even though you know that thing is a delicacy for us non vegans ~ 12:48, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

I drew the line a good way up the page before kishke even when I did eat meat! By the way, I have no idea of the Hebrew or Yiddish for shmaltz herring - can you add that for me (I know שמאַלץ, but not herring)? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:16, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

It's probably gonna be - דג מלוח which essentially mean - salty fish. ~ 14:10, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Not עקלדיק פֿיש? :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:21, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Say what now? ~ 14:24, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

"Disgusting fish." Or it ought to be, anyway. I had to look up both. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:26, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Was that in Yiddish? In Hebrew it would be - דג מגעיל ~ 14:30, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

.יע ייִדיש Or the bastardised pseudo-Yiddish I'm still endeavouring to teach myself, at any rate. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:39, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

UnScripts: So What Do the Israelis and the Palestinians Really Want

Oy vey, Melekh Mordillo, my script is woefully complete! I have a form of ADD (I've got a note in Hebrew and shit, so even God can read it)so writing a longer script would seriously affect my behaviour -i.e. masturbating in front of a picture of Arafat instead of Sharon (or perhaps it was the other way to begin with -did I mention that Arab Jews like me have a tendency to also acquire a split personality disorder from God? At the very best, we just can't stop throwing rocks at ourselves or changing the occupied sign on toilets to disputed). In any case, everything that's currently on the page is everything I've thought up for the script. If you have any ideas for humorous themes I could extend it on, or if you'd prefer to chip in directly and dominate -I meant collaborate- to finish the script, I'll pave your way with palm fronds and lend you my ass, after which I would proceed to complete the script in a manner which makes it indisputable that you are your REAL FATHER, and that you have decided to build this great script on my humble camel. The UnTunes idea is also for the best -after all, disagreeing with an Admin is dangerous to one's health. I think a video would be necessary because of all the physical humour,and because otherwise all we'd hear is an accent-debate on whether an unspoofed spice girls song is kosher and halal, and frankly because there is only so much unspoofed Spice Girls we can stand. Perhaps an animation would do, in which case I'm happy to try something on Xara and voice the Palestinian PM. If anybody actually likes the script well enough on here to volunteer to dominate I meant collaborate on this, I am all adulation. In the meantime, please try to resist the urge to delete the script pronto -I am still honoured of surviving your last block by a place on your userpage (I think my mohel is a bit too interested in it-he was always a kind and gentle man, like Jonathan). SufiyaFatimaLevi 15:11, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

I've added a new scene now. Any good? SufiyaFatimaLevi 19:37, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

It is, but I don't see any connection between the first scene and the second scene. Am I missing something? Also, with regards to the UnTunes thing - it was merely a suggestion. Don't feel obliged. ~ 23:38, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

There is a connection that works on nine different levels -or twelve if you take into account of this and that and ham. No, only joking -you missed nothing and there is no explicit connection. At the present I am laying out various "scenes" as they come to mind, trying (get your handkerchief out, it's very sentimental from here)to show that the conflict is not really a clash of civilisations or ideologies; instead, there are only deeply human longings that both perpetuate the conflict, and offer the only way out of it, (especially of a homoerotic kind -it's very hard to find a Middle Easterner today who is not at least bisexual). I will think of new scenes to add within the course of the week, and try to find some way of stringing everything together in a way that makes the title sensible. Then, with your master's permission, the UnScript could be raised out of limbo. In the meantime, all advice, suggestions, threats etc. appreciated. SufiyaFatimaLevi 12:58, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Actually -may I set up the scene with Khaled Mashaal and Gilad Shalit as a separate UnScript in its own right, and then simply delete the original idea of "So What Do the Israelis and the Palestinians Really Want" altogether? Or would you say the scene is not complete enough for this? SufiyaFatimaLevi 16:10, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

Papyrus

If the moses section offended you in any form, I'll gladly tone it down or remove it altogether. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 09:43 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

Read this and then tell me if you think that I'm offended. ~ 10:01, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

I see.. I guess I'll have to uptone it, then. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 10:15 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

There's something so Jewish about that... if somebody can take jokes about our food, they won't be offended no matter what you say about our most important prophet and author of the Torah. We certainly have our priorities in the right place. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:42, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

Well, similarly, if a Christian can take jokes about penes, they won't be offended no matter what you say about their Lord and Saviour. They certainly have their priorities, too. ;) No offence, Christians. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 11:46 • Tuesday, 12-01-2010

Christians? What in Christ's name are those? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:42, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

What are penes? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:38, Jan 13 2010

Template Tedium

Dear god! No more features! I'm dying here! --    15:31, January 12, 2010 (UTC)

hey

I'm back. --Docile hippopotamus 10:02, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Congratulations. I hope you'll be a bit more careful with the way you interact with admins this time. ~ 10:12, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Lol

A lot of vandalism around Uncyc :/ Hubblemeow 22:07, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Just a normal day, walking the vandals and blocking the dogs. Or was it the other way around? --~ 22:08, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

Haha I don't know, dogs can be vandals, peeing and pooping in all those public places. :D Hubblemeow 22:11, January 13, 2010 (UTC)

One more idea, or two

Hi. Has anyone talked about a Uncyl. book, on the same order as one of The Onion's books? If not, could be a next step type of project using 250 or so pages from the best of the best. Only problem would be the copyrights on photos and graphics, does satire law cover those for "profit" projects? Zana and I have been playhing with a page "Welcome Party for Noobs", ideas, comments, or jump-right-ins? No sig yet MLK Birthday Eve MMX

He should make a topic in the Dump about making an Uncyc book, shouldn't he Mordillo? -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:46, 14 Jan

Topic would be the obvious choice. However, other than the fact that I don't think we'll be covered with regards to pictures (as there isn't really any "satire law", just a very vague "fair use clause" which is...err...very vague) you have a bigger problem - us being a non profit site, we can't really publish anything as we don't own the material, nor are we an incorporated entity (not even taking into account the questions of who exactly will fund this, who will publish it etc). The main difference between us and The Onion is just that - we're a volunteray wiki site while the Onion is a registered company. ~ 22:29, January 14, 2010 (UTC)

Fairly large roadblocks. My thought was that a publisher would take up the project, not as a self publish. I didn't know about the non-corp status, or exactly how many rights people pass over to the site when they add an article (I thought it was 100%). Would you think it's worth giving over to a "formal" discussion on dump? Thanks again (ignore Optim's comments, he's never read Gay Jesus, so how can his comments be relevant if not shaped by a full study of the world's literature?). My sig? forgaboutid 15 Jan. MMX

Due to the wiki licensing system, everything is still copyright of the original authors, but licensed under a Creative Commons-Attribution-Non Commercial-Share Alike license. That license, specifically the non-commercial clause, would rule out any printed versions, unless the publisher is giving away the books for free. But on the plus side, we can (maybe) use that clause to legal threat Wikia if they decide to place ads on this wiki. --Mn-z 05:49, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

T-Rex

Thanks. Yeah, I already knew that. But my past experience is the articles I give to Pee are usually ignored; or, if reviewed, I get one person's opinion and style, which others don't agree with either. So I figured if those are the two options then I better consider it overlooked and risk a terrifying Self-Nom. Also, as an UOTY MadMax had liked it, and even worked on it, that was better, really, than risking a Pee. Why not take a look at why Max liked it. And if you think it's good enough then keep the Nom - or please nom it yourself if you like it. I bet if it passed inspection by MadMax that you'll like it too. just for fun. I had a lot of Pee reviews and learned plenty. But at this point I just want it as is. Though you're the boss, and thank God someone IS the boss. So far I have done 31 articles that stuck. So I'd like to be one of the gang, obviously. I'm also an Editor for Wikipedia with many articles since their inception (my band The Misunderstood were in Wikipedia from the get go, because they based the Music section on the book, "All Music Guide" by Richie Unterberg, and we have a chapter in that book). Anyway I'm at your mercy!!! I also just redid Soma© (a huffed article by another writer) and I think it's too perfect for a Pee Review. I think its my best job to date. I bet you like it too (Hope sooo..!) BTW: Thanks for saving-the-day on Bad Nigger Attitude, which I have since rewritten and turned it all on the Nazis. They deserve the blame. Thanks friend--Funnybony 15:10, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

"I better consider it overlooked" - no, it's a rule. That you follow. I'd like to see you get a feature, Funnybony, if only because I can see how much work you put in to this place. But there are reasons for certain rules, and if you self-nom without a review, it will get taken down again quickly, as happened just now. And Max is a legend, but he's more a maintenance legend than a writing legend - don't take his involvement in your article as your guarantee of quality! ;-) --UU - natter 16:07, Jan 15

What UU said. And as noted on the VFH page, if you don't get a pee review after a week, just feel free to nom it after that. That's all the waiting you need to do. ~ 16:48, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Well, folks, I guess my path is clear. It's off to the shooting gallery - and hope for the best. I think the point of mentioning Max was he thought it was funny, and some how that seems more important than it being "good" - but he did like it and added his touch. And funny is believing!!! But no matter what, someone who doesn't like that type of humor simply won't like the page, regardless of good. All I want out of this is for associate brothers of Uncyclopedia to "get the jokes". Funny Ha Ha!!--Funnybony 17:16, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Administrator Mordillo!

It might be a good idea to semi protect Haiti for awhile. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:02, 15 Jan

That's `crat Mordillo mister. With a K. ~ 18:07, January 15, 2010 (UTC)

Top 10 of 2009

Is ready, done and here. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:12, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

You sir, are a good man. What kind of aftershave you're using? ~ 00:52, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

Back bacon. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:59, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

That's Givenchi right? ~ 01:02, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

Maple Leaf. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 01:14, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

Redirecting...

What you have been subliminally saying all along is true. My original UnScripts:So What Do the Israelis and the Palestinians Really Want? is a festering turd. Only the second "scene" with Shalit and Mashaal has (minimal) redeeming value, so I have transferred it to UnScripts:The Fate of Gilad Shalit to live out the rest of its life in Humbert-Humbertian obscurity and misleading little girls. Do you think it's complete enough in this form to go without the construction tag? At least give it a pension home, not permanent limbo...SufiyaFatimaLevi 19:02, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

I actually though that both were a good start, though unrelated. I just saw a mental image of Netanyahu and Abu Mazen wearing Spice Girls attire and dance in the streets of Ramallah. Why not do both? As for the Shalit one, it's good as well - only question is, where are you going with it? Perhaps let the poor guy go home when Mashaal realizes he can't push him away? Or maybe they both sell into the sun set only to be fired upon by the Israeli navy for breaking the closure around the Gaza strip? (Uninteresting pop quiz - Mashaal is not actually in Gaza, he's in Damascus). ~ 21:31, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

That second idea seems excellent. I will combine it with the pop quiz point for a bit of absurdity, and see what I can do. SufiyaFatimaLevi 14:19, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

.....

I saw you reverted my edit, and I'm sorry for stupid and unfunny. D:

Why do I apologize for everything? God I suck. *No self-esteem whatsoever*

That's not funny either! Fuck!

HELPME 22:26, January 16, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

No need to apologize. I did wonder why you created a talk page for a user blaming him for being an unfunny IP. ~ 22:43, January 16, 2010 (UTC)

I was talking to the blanker IP, though I should have just reported to him to ban patrol. HELPME 00:33, January 17, 2010 (UTC)HELPME

Ah, there's not need to talk with blankers, they don't tend to respond and they typically get promptly banned. Also, leaving the message on the page of the user that his page got blanked, probably wouldn't reach the target anyway ;) ~ 11:14, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

-__-

Why, Mordollo why!!!!!!! Why did u do it!

Flutter, whatever do you mean? (at least I hope this is Flutter and not some other guy via the same IP address. Mordillo, help a brotha out!) --Not Mordillo 22:44, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

One

"Apples, pears and peaches, they're all are one; fruit. Carrots and cucumbers are one, also."

Did I imply that carrots and cucumbers are fruits? No, I said carrots and cucumbers are a different one [vegetable.]

Also, am I stupid enough to say that Iraqis and Iranians are North African berbers? Not yet. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 22:48 • Sunday, 17-01-2010

Yes you are Did I say that out loud? When will they understand I have no inner monologue! ~ 23:21, January 17, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost January several-days-ago^th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The edition that's black and white and dead all over

Jan 14th, 2010 • Issue71 • Keeping You Guessing

Uncyclopedia Voting Season Arrives, Users Driven To Voting Frenzy By UU 'Tis the season to abstain with extreme prejudice! Yes, every anal-retentive voting obsessive's favourite time of the year has arrived: January marks the point of the year when the awards for the best things of the previous year are voted on! If that's not an oxymoron on a site that is acknowledged to be the worst, of course. This poll-packed month sees WotY, UotY and PotY join (deep breath) WotM, UotM, PotM, NotM, AotM, RotM, EGA, FP, PWotM, ANOTM, Top 10 o' the month, UGotM, VFH, VFD, VFS and VFP as forums for people to air their opinions, prejudices, minor rivalries and petty jealousies. And as if this wasn't enough voting-related thrills 'n' spills, when the Top 10 articles of December 2009 have been decided, there'll be the Top 10 articles of 2009 proper to vote for! UnSignpost's fearless reporter and mascot DogNewspaper (pictured) predicts a bumper month for whoring, in-fighting, backstabbing and bitching as users scramble to secure themselves a fleeting moment's recognition from up to several of their peers. Followed by next to no voting in February, as everyone recovers. From the desk of the Cabal: 2010 ordered to be Drama free By The Cabal As Uncyclopedia drunkenly stumbles into the new decade, barely managing to hold down that spicy dinner it had for lunch, the non-existent cabal would like to wish all residents a happy new year. And by wish we mean order, residents would be subjects and by happy new year we mean fuck you all where communism hasn't failed yet. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we saw it all in 2009. We saw dozens of forums declaring that we're the worst (which we know), we saw numerous editors leave the front door open on the way out (come on people! it's bloody -7 outside!), we saw epic banninations (the simple joys of life), we saw prolific gay bashing (ideologically pure of course), we saw religious wars over sausages, we saw the worst 100 reflections of 2009 barely close before the midnight of December 31st. You promised in 2008 you wouldn't do that. You failed us. And so, ladies and gentlemen, we raise our collective arses from the toilet which was 2009, wiping it with the first anniversary edition of the UnSignpost, as this is the only good thing that ever came out of this rag of a newspaper. We would like to ask humbly that the population of Uncyclopedia do the following: Please, for the love of Sophia, remain calm; exit the building in an orderly fashion; remember that objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are; understand that allergen traces may be found in this Uncyclopedia. And always remember the prime directive: you are here to have fun. Or in short - shut the fuck up and go write an article. Thank you for your undivided attention citizens. You may now remove your muzzles.

Check out these pages! Now you have no excuse Pretend people care what you like It makes as much sense as Scientology, I suppose From our logs: 09:22, 12 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 64.40.243.245 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ ("raccist"? what's that, prejudiced against raccoons?) 03:33, 12 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.101.196.155 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (lol i'm astral projecting an image of two gay guys having sex into your mind or something) 19:06, 6 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 216.64.230.79 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Nigger to you too, sir.) 19:05, 5 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked JeChr (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Jesus is dead. He's not coming back.) 23:05, 3 January 2010 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 98.217.57.240 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (That was a waste of an edit. There are edit-starved kids in China that would've used that to its fullest extent, you know.) Biopic of the Week Prowling the corridors of pee review with a light step but a heavy hand, ChiefjusticeDS is Uncyc's reigning king of the golden river. He's reviewed more articles than most Uncyclopedians have read. In their entire lives. And he keeps a benevolent eye on everyone else, making sure there's no stale pee in the pond. If you've had a good review in the last year or so, he probably had a hand in that somewhere. Doff your cap and move on. Old-School Featured Article of the Week HowTo:Run away from home is a guide to every early teenager's ultimate weapon in the never-ending battle with the forces of evil as represented by their parents. Written by Alksub - who most of our readership won't remember - this is exactly what to do next time your parents don't let you stay out late to meet that nice-sounding kid you met over MSN who seemed very keen to hook up and get to know you better! Trend of the Year (so far) Username changing. Username a little short? Lengthen it for no good reason! All the cool kids are doing it, apparently.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I swore I'd never hand-deliver this again. Here it is. --UU - natter 09:38, Jan 18

Foolitzer

Hi. I think the December Foolitzer may finally be closed, with a nudge a nomineee has voted for themself. A longggggg election night. Al DeChain' Wednesday, MMX

Bloody hell, that was a December nomination? I was sure it was a January one. I think we might as well wait till the end of the month. ~ 20:45, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Your shekel counting holiness could possibly help me?

I want to have a bit of hebrew in my Bilderberg article, as most conspiracy theorists like to blaim 'you people' for a lot, I've put a bit of Hebrew in, but I want it to be all italics like the other song lyrics I've put in but it doesn't seem to be doing it. It's in the section down. Can you help or are you going to continue to masturbate and smoke Dutch pot:)?--Sycamore (Talk) 10:26, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

I think you have a bigger issue here as whatever you tried to write - it doesn't make any sense in Hebrew. Do you want to give me the original text and I'll fix it? ~ 10:41, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Its meant to be the first bit from this, I've put the bit I was wanting to include here,

Give me back my broken night

my mirrored room, my secret life

it's lonely here,

there's no one left to torture

Give me absolute control

over every living soul

And lie beside me, baby,

that's an order!

Maybe its the online translater I used, it might screw up the syntax because its a song.--Sycamore (Talk) 10:54, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah poetry isn't easy to translate. I'll give the best version I can:

החזירו לי את לילי השבור

חדרי אפוף המראות, חיי הסודיים

בודד כאן

לא נותר את מי לענות

העניקו לי שליטה מוחלטת

על כל נפש חיה

ושכבי לידי, אהובתי

זוהי פקודה!

It's actually quite a beautiful poem. ~ 11:20, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Ta, yeah its one of his best, though he's done quite a few I like:-)--Sycamore (Talk) 11:29, January 20, 2010 (UTC)

Something about a template

I have no skills in editing a PNG, so this is my best effort at the moment. I'd suggest that someone who has more potatochopping skills redoes the image. All in all I think this is the result we're after. {{2009Top10}} Pup

Editing a png, you say? Why, I can do that kind of thing. If you like, I'll hack one out this evening that's a little less jaggy? --UU - natter 09:28, Jan 21

Go for it. I also faked the font as I had no idea what the original was so I've just chopped what was already there, so whatever you can do to tweak it be my guest. Pup

For me it looks great, but then again Mr. Yorkshire here has a better sense of humor. ~ 10:55, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

I think the effect is exactly right, but a png just might look a little smoother. I'm therefore going to try and produce something that looks similar but less jagged, hopefully making it even greatererish. Hast tha summat agin that, tha bloody 'erbert? --UU - natter 11:05, Jan 21

OK, so the whole "same night" thing didn't happen. Mrs UU was not good when I got home, my attention was needed elsewhere. I'll get right on it today, straight after my compulsory morning gawp through failblog. --UU - natter 09:44, Jan 22

Is she all right now? ~ 09:57, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Oh she's fine now, or I wouldn't be here! Have another look at the template - I done addified a differenter image, and I think it's bettererificated. I also think I'm getting ill committing all these crimes against my beloved English language in one sentence. On a separate note: morning Mordillo! --UU - natter 10:40, Jan 22

Morning UU! I was supposed to be in a weekend in Rome this weekend, but due to Mordillia's growing bulk and some other issues we have decided to cancel at this point. So point me to where I can disperse divine justice! ~ 11:04, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Bummer. We were in Rome last year, while Mrs UU was still mobile enough to enjoy it. One month later, we'd not have been able to have anything like as good a trip - so I'd say you made the right decision. As for letting off steam: I can personally recommend banning Cajek, which is a delight few, if any, admins seems aware of! Now: looked at that template yet? (I wasn't slavishly faithful to the font Puppy mentions, just went with one that looked OK). --UU - natter 11:18, Jan 22

I have and I think it looks great. Thank you both! You are now forever embedded in the Uncyclopedia folk history. ~ 18:20, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

Should we commission Puppy to make more of those thingies for '05, '06, '07, and '08? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 06:38, Jan 22 2010

No point. All that needs to be done is change the year where ever it appears, and change the graphic. I've already confessed to my ineptitude relating to png, so someone who can do png graphics would be a better bet for this one. And I hope UUette is not having too hard a time. Pup

Actually, I'm pretty sure UUette is her unmarried name. Now she's Mrs. UU. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 17:04, Jan 22 2010

"You couldn't make it up" amusing Jewish news story of the week

Here. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:52, January 21, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 21th January 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The periodical without any junk in its trunk!

Jan 21st, 2010 • Issue 72 • Yorkshire-style news

Awards of the Year race thrillingly poised By UU Yes folks, as the first month of this new decade lurches slowly and falteringly towards conclusion, the ... of the Year awards showdown is accelerating towards a thrilling climax! Your ever-topical UnSignpost mascot DogNewspaper therefore brings you this essential and timely guide to the runners and riders!. In the most prestigious award of the lot, Writer of the Year, the race for second place behind prolific funny factory and champion-elect Hype is neck and neck between apparently-no-longer-hirsute TKF fan-club president and feature-machine Guildy and low-profile but high-quality-output, er, feature-machine Sog1970. But wait! There's still a chance they could get caught by the chasing pack of little-known and modest Scouser Mhaille, hetero macho-man Orian57, antipodean canine PuppyOnTheRadio and none-more-metal mosher Monika. Oh, and some other chancers have been nommed without polling a single vote (including DrStrange, who is currently looking likely to become the first Uncyclopedian ever to win WotM twice, but hasn't carried that form over to WotY - odd). Meanwhile, over at PotY, the race for second place behind Sonje is even closer, with both Modus and some n00b polling a creditable one nom but no votes each! Who will pull ahead by the end of the month? It's a competition you just can't keep your eyes off! Disappointingly, the UotY vote lets the side down, with seemingly a boring old race for first place between Belgian one-man categorisation whirlwind, maintenance addict, broken thing fixer, BUTT POOP!!! junkie and footwear-as-handwear exponent Socky and handsome English admin who wrote this article and is not in the least bit biased UU. The apparent scramble to be runner-up to whichever of these two is runner-up is far more interesting, as non-stop wikifixer MadMax goes up against Welsh Rarebit RabbiTechno, not-Yorkshire-enough admin Mordillo, vowel-free-zone Mnbvcxz and Moterfucking Nigger Lover Roman Dog Bird. Damned with the faint praise of a nom with no votes in this category are the pants bomber, talk page king FU Spang, human non-sequitur generator Modus and absent but deadly hockey nut Gerry. And finally, over where it's really at, the NotD cockfight is almost impossible to call! Will plucky outsider RC hold off the challenge of Apple, Apples and Maddie's life? The tension is quite literally unbearable! But remember kids: whoever "wins", we're all still losers. And now, your not-at-all-struggling-for-material Signpost brings you... Horoscopes! By GlobalTourniquet Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) - This week, you have a dream, that one day you will be judged not by the color of your skin but by Simon Cowell. Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) - If Martin Luther King had believed them when they told him "Silence is golden", he never would have accomplished his great work in the cause of civil rights. You, on the other hand, are just a mouthy bitch. Silence is golden. For the rest of this week's horoscopes in full, see the horoscopes page, obviously.

Check out these pages! Narcissism? On the intertubes? Serious businesszzzzszszz - sorry, nodded off there Breaking News: We're The Worst! From our logs: 06:45, 20 January 2010 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I LIKE PIE!!! (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 48 hours ‎ (This is your local formatting nazi-admin reminding you to stop undoing people's formatting fixes. Learn to wiki, pl0x. And don't harrass people trying to help.) 01:04, 18 January 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.61.194.228 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (suspected homophobe. might hate gays. or he's just a faggot.) 12:33, 18 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 196.12.233.26 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (And the Lord said unto me, "Cursed are the page blankers, for they are the least of my creations; take up thy banhammer and smite them") Biopic of the Week Conscientious vote-machine Romartus has been around longer than you might think - kick-starting his Uncyc career with a series of DYK suggestions, before hitting his stride. Known as one of the more "demanding" voters on VFH, Romartus has also been diligently saving some of the less-deserving articles on VFD. He also breeds tropical ferrets. One of the previous statements is a lie, introduced by the biographer in lieu of a joke. Use your skill and judgement to work out which one! Old-School Featured Article of the Week Really Big Tree is an article about a really big tree. This tree is of such an immense size, it is scarcely credible. Few trees deserve their own Uncyclopedia article, but the Really Big Tree deserves its own wiki. You may think you have encountered trees of impressive size before, but you haven't seen a tree at all until you've experienced the Really Big Tree! Cajek UnBlock of the week! MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) resurrected Cajek (Talk | contribs) (blocking Cajek is Sooooo old school. Unblocking Cajek is the new, new school. Not that I went to school. Obviously.) The (probably short-lived) return of UU's Obscure British Dialect Expression of the Week Were you to find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, you may happen upon a local. Were that local to then say to you "dew yew keep a troshin'", you may find yourself somewhat at a loss for a reasonable response - well, no more! Yes, your ever-useful UnSignpost is here to furnish you with a translation, which is: "take care of yourself". (It comes from "carry on with the threshing", if that helps, although we can't see how it would). So now if you find yourself in Norwich, Engerland, the only thing you have to worry about is getting out of there. Fast!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Also, it's MrN9000's mum's 60th birthday! 9001(bot)  17:36, Jan 21

Hello sir

Apparently... Optimuschris does not have one of those rollback plungers. He's too much of a gentleman to ask himself, so I'm asking for him. In-fact I actually think he really does not want it. I recommend we ignore this request. I have an idea that if he were to be furnished with such a device it would allow the likes of yourself and myself to be even more lazy than we currently are. An ideal situation I'm sure you will agree. MrN 01:09, Jan 22

He's doomed now. DOOMED I SAY! ~ 09:57, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

That will teach him for all the power whoring. ;) Nice plunger by the way... MrN 10:01, Jan 22

Heaven is...

"Heaven is the delicious hot kiddush with cholent, kugel and a nice shot of whisky..." says Rabbi Yitzhak Schochet. I'm rather tempted to join his shul on the strength of those words alone! Gut shabbos :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:21, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

That actually makes me want to become religious! Now there is a proper Rabbi! :) And a gut shabes to you two my friend. ~ 16:26, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

I bet his Purim service is one of the best parties in London - hmm, speaking of which, not long till Purim, which is my favourite holiday just because of the hamantaschen. I'd make them at other times of year too, but they seem to taste better if you wait for them. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:44, January 22, 2010 (UTC)

DYK question

I've been doing some work on Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions, specifically in the images section, and I was wondering how often is it updated? I was thinking of adding the first top three images (and the Kilroy one pointing to several articles) but I'm not sure how to correctly add images to the DYK template. I made {{DYKimage}} recently which would add images but I still don't know if it would work correctly. For example, some images might be too big or the template might interfere with images that already appear with specific DYK facts causing two images to appear in the DYK box. Do you think this would be a good idea or is it better to use the images and DYK facts seperately (i.e. File:Wstyd6bo.jpg).

On a seperate note, text messages are visible when a mouse pointer is over one of the sidebar links. Do you know how this is done? I'd like to add "List articles you'd like to see written but are too lazy to work on yourself. Slacker." to appear over "Requested Articles". Is this part of MediaWiki or is it a built-in feature of the website itself? MadMax 20:59, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

It's updated more or less based on how lazy we are :) Personally I've never updated it, but maybe it's time I'll start doing that. With the images - give it a try, I think it should be OK, worse case - we can revert. The only thing, I'll protect that template, otherwise we'll get goatse on the main page sooner or later.

As for the other part, it's mediawiki, but it's embedded somewhere deep in the works, and I couldn't find how that exact code works, I've asked Jack to lay a hand. ~ 16:21, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry about the late reply. These access keys are defined in MediaWiki:Common.js, under "tooltips and access keys" — what MadMax wants is probably something like this: ta['n-Requested-Articles'] = new Array('', "List articles you'd like to see written but are too lazy to work on yourself. Slacker.");

If you need any more help, don't hesitate to poke me on #uncyclopedia, I'm there every day (though most of the time I'm afk/sleeping/coding, but whatever ;-). -- Jack Phoenix, professional killer admin (Whine?) • (Wikia ♥ ads) 21:27, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Jack! Max - it's fixed. ~ 20:17, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks guys. I'm sorry about the wait too Mordillo. I tend to be forgetful about talk pages when I go back to editing. :) MadMax 16:44, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

I'd like to see the DYK section updated, it's one of the things I check out every time I log on and I've noticed the repetition. (The DYK's that only reference an article without a cleaver or joke-like tie-in are beginning to annoy me.) There are quite a few funny things in the DYK submissions page that would be good in the rotation. (I wouldn't mind working on this as a full time project.)  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  24 Jan 2010 ~ 20:51 (UTC)

No objections here. It used to be L's gig but I haven't seen him around for ages. ~ 21:52, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

So I've been studying this for a bit before I wrote back. I'd love to formulate a plan & start on this soon but I don't want to step on anyone's toes... should I maybe post a forum topic on this you think?  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  29 Jan 2010 ~ 07:09 (UTC)

Nah, I'd say just go ahead. ~ 07:21, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

OK.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  29 Jan 2010 ~ 07:22 (UTC)

Usually, I'd be happy to update it but I've never been too comfortible deciding what's "funny" or not (especially since I don't write anything). I'd hate to start adding lousy quotes and lower the overall quality of what's already there. By the way, I'm still working on the DYK image template but it keeps displaying three images instead of one. I know that this probably has has to do with the way individual facts are chosen but I can't seem to figure out out to fix it. MadMax 16:44, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball

EMC left me a message on my talk page suggesting TAW should replace the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball. Though I assume he was half-joking, is there one being held this year? MadMax 21:03, January 23, 2010 (UTC)

There was one held last November, and we had pretty good articles. I don't think there should be any connection between both of them. We have place for both. ~ 16:22, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

Actually I hoping to ask whoever was organizing if they knew a few users who might be interested in being judges. Right now, there are three judges (User:Under user, User:Optimuschris and yourself) so I'm 12 judges short. Would be alright to have three judges for the entire competition or is that too much work? MadMax 16:20, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

That would be too much work, but I'm pretty sure you won't be able to find 12 more judges. And if you do, then you won't have writers. I think a maximum of 9 maybe 12 tops. And even that is pushing it a bit too far IMHO. ~ 16:26, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Do I get a Hall of Shame entry?

As you know, I have 3 FAs and an IC. They count 2.5 featured points. Do I get an entry? • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 19:47 • Sunday, 24-01-2010

Well, the rules say 3 features....O_O ~ 21:53, January 24, 2010 (UTC)

This is why collabs aren't so popular. Nobody likes to share. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 22:51, Jan 24 2010

Well, I technically have 3 featured articles.. o_O • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 23:34 • Sunday, 24-01-2010

Technically, you have 2.5 featured articles. Sure you've got 4 templates, but other people worked on some of those too. They're snatching half of the credit away! So just write another feature, and it'll all be good. :) • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 00:10, Jan 25 2010

Well, there's this... • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 00:13 • Monday, 25-01-2010

See? Soon it'll all be good. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 06:14, Jan 25 2010

I've have 3 features too (sort of). Can I put myself at the top of HoS for no good reason? --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:49, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

Absolutely! Be italic! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 05:19, Jan 29 2010

Where's my Euroipod?

It's been six to eight weeks but I have not yet received my free Euroipod. It was mailed confirmed, right? Also, following a discussion on Sann's talkpage, do you think you'd want to tweak the spam filter a little? The spambots seem to be using only a few key Spanish phrases, so blocking those would probably make maintenance a bit easier. Or you could just block the Spanish language entirely. Spang would probably know how but I doubt he'd know which phrases to block. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 06:48, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

If by "free" you mean "painful" and by "Euroipod" you mean "knuckle sandwich" then, yes, it's getting there soon enough! I've responded on Sannse's page, I don't have permissions on that page for now. ~ 09:57, January 28, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 28th January 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

Jan 28th • Issue 73 • A Periodical. Period.

Continuing Absence Of Certain Users Forces Other Users To Do Things By UU It has come to the notice of our fearless journalists that some users have recently been desperately attempting to fill the gaping void left by the absence of some other users. For instance, in the absence of part-time dinosaur and popular keyboard feature SysRq, Why do I need to provide this? has stepped bravely into the Colonization brief (and has not, for instance, been forcefully volunteered for the task by MrN), dedicating himself to bringing colons where there are none (such is our understanding). Also bravely stepping into the "ban magnet" position created by the continuing and lamented absence of hyperactive loon Cajek is, well, a plethora of users. Admins, deprived of their favourite joke-ban target, have taken to joke banning anyone in an attempt to get their fix. Even those devoted to doing only good, just and true works have recently been targeted; and as if to prove this very statement, some power-crazed asshole went and joke banned Socky, RabbiTechno and Optimuschris as soon as he'd written this sentence. Elsewhere, ChiefjusticeDS has been filling the gap left by the absence of someone's enthusiasm for anything pee-related right at the moment by looking after the pee list, taking over as the person with the most in-depth reviews, reviewing everyone else's reviews, and generally not being lazy about it all. At the same time, the continuing absence of the yellow and black sig of Gerrycheevers has forced grumbling British curmudgeon UU to return to the Wiki's only newspaper, the UnSignpost, churning out issues that are, let's be honest, mere placeholders until Gerry gets his arse back here and writes something worth reading. YOU HEAR ME GERRY? GET THE FUCK BACK HERE NOW DAMMIT! Rumours that, in the relative absence of Orian57, Roman Dog Bird will take over the position of "token gay" are unconfirmed at the time of going to press. And finally, in the absence of enough content to make this issue balance out nicely, the UnSignpost is once again resorting to using blatant filler for the first time this year. Shameless, that's what it is. Complain to someone - it's the only way they'll learn.

Check out these pages! This seems to mean something to some people Bonzer Bruce, throw another stereotype on the barbie! Like. Comment. From our logs: 20:30, 26 January 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.223.27.16 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (No-one talks that way about my favourite Jew. Learn some manners or GTFO.) 00:48, 26 January 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Why do I need to provide this? (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 20 minutes ‎ (Sometimes I feel, like I've been TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEDDD to the Whipping Post!!!!) 18:19, 24 January 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 68.42.246.27 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 year ‎ (Toll. Idiot. Whatever. Banned, UnBanned, Banned, Banned. BYE. Try IRC next time. The guys in there will enjoy it.) Biopic of the Week Users today, they barely know they're born. The problem? Too little exposure to Flammable. The permanent curator of the Principal's office rarely deigns to grace us mortals with his presence these days, but the very sight of his rainbow-strewn sig used to inspire fear, dread, terror and, for some reason, carol singing. "While shepherds fed their flocks thermite..." Old-School Featured Article of the Week This one's for you, Guildy: HowTo:Be pretentious. Don your black polo-neck, cock a snook at the hoi polloi, and sit back, secure in your superiority, thanks to this indispensable guide! Cursory Mention of the Week CheddarBBQ wanted to be mentioned in this week's Signpost. So he is.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  14:55, Jan 28

NotY

Why isn't there one? Pup

There is one, but it's automatically given to Rcmurphy. Every year. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Friday, 17:04, Jan 29 2010

Rule clarifications

I thought Features weren't to be edited after they were featured. He may not be a vandal, although he's skating the ice imnho, but can features be edited by IP's? Since I'm here, why not make the Writer of the Month a last week nomination and vote? Dr. Strange may lose out this month because of all the early votes (or is WotM indicative of the month before and not the present month?). Thanks again, Aleister in Chains 8:36 29 Jan. MMX

It's not that there not supposed to be edited, we discourage from radically changing them from the featured version. But there's always room for improvement. I looked over his contribs, but couldn't see anything really. If I missed, please give me a link. With regards to Dr. Strange, the WOTM is indeed for the month before(ish), but it's really more about the general recent activity of the writer. Nameable, for example, didn't write anything for a while, but he still deserve recognition as a good writer. ~ 20:55, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, two clarifications and I've added two pieces of "edge-u-chacion" to my Uncy learning curve. I guess the IP wasn't as bad as I thought, but if something is really damaged an editor will catch it, as usual. Thanks again, Aleister in Chains 21:03 29 Jan. MMX

NP. ~ 21:13, January 29, 2010 (UTC)

More Rule Clarifications

Hi. Just had a discussion with Roman Bird Dog about the nom and vote for Foolitzer. I had thought the December "contest" had ended with the tie-breaker, and PF4eva had won, and when I nommed and voted for Zig for Jan. I thought that it was a new contest.(I didn't check back on your talk page after posting my note about the "winner", I thought that was the end of that comment thread, so never looked again!!!) Does intent count in such a vote? And, if a tie-breaker goes to the end of the next month, does that mean the tie for Writer of the Month now goes to the end of February? And what about UNCY of the Year, tied at the end of January. Bush v Gore territory, World Court territory. A four-judge panel, a commission created. Dogs and cats sleeping together. Thanks, Aleister in Chains 2:52 1 Feb. MMX

Hya, I've fixed the mess on FP. Let's do it that PF got it for January, and Zim's nomination is opened for February. Generally speaking a tie means that both parties get the prize. ~ 09:50, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Fair and wise decisions. Heavy is the head. . . Aleister in Chains 13:11 1 Feb. MMX

Not getting enough sleep? I have an excuse, I've got Mass Effect 2 since Thursday. What's your excuse? ~ 13:14, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Actually a reference to "Heavy is the head that wears the crown". My brother-in-law is the major gamer in the family, and he only does 360 now. I'm not sure if ME2 comes in 360, but if so I might pick it up for him (and sneak in some time myself). Oh, on UNCY business, if you'd like to take down the Brett Favre nom that's fine with me, he's burnt to a crisp by now (as is the nom) and it's getting to be old news too. And on the other, come to think of it, a nap may be just the thing right about now. Alieister in Chains 13:37 1 Feb. MMX

Now you make me feel inflated with gas

Shabbos cholent still haunting you, then? ;-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:46, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Wasn't cholent this week unfortunately (even though it was snowing, isn't that perfect for cholent?). I did just shut down the oven containing Musaka. Which is a very sensible thing to cook at 1am. ~ 23:52, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Speaking of cholent, I have amazing news from the Cambridge Cholent Research Laboratory (aka our house) of a revolutionary new development in the field of cholentology. When your cholent is about 40 minutes from being cooked, take it out of the oven and spread a layer of hummus over the top. Place it back in the oven for the remaining time - the hummus forms a deliciously crisp, cheesy crust. I imagine the spreading of hummus contravenes מְלָאכָה, but God would only have to taste how delicious it is and He'd understand. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:07, February 7, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you!!

Thank you!!

I stand here before you, arms outstretched and butterflies exploding from my zipper, in thanks for supporting me for Uncyclopedia:Writer of the Year.

Throughout 2009, many people had stupid ideas, and many of those people wrote those stupid ideas down, but apparently you agreed that no one thought of so many idiotic things, nor humiliated himself on such a regular basis, as I.

You pity me! You really pity me!

May 2010 be an even worse year for us all!

---

And an extra special thanks for the nomination! pillow talk 19:41, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

I prepared a whole speech of how you're a brilliant writer and I'm enamored with your pieces blah blah blah, but instead I think I'll just keep it short and simple. Fuck you. Andathankyouverymuch. ~ 23:49, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

I'm not good at patient!

How much longer do I have to wait? Pup

One place per day. That makes it...errr....~ 23:33, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

Also, thanks again for the top 10 template. It looks great. ~ 23:35, February 1, 2010 (UTC)

A request.

Could you block me for three days? I have a lot to do and things to fix. I can't be distracted by Uncyc. And I have a feeling I'll end up editing before the time is up. Thanks in advance. HELPME, I've fallen and I can't get up!/ Talk to me or die!/ My daddy!(ew) 21:30, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

It's funny when people come to me with block requests when I am OH SO MORE THAN THAT :). No problem, and if you want an early release, use the email user function to drop me a line. ~ 21:47, February 2, 2010 (UTC)

Could you block Cajek please? I need filler for the Signpost, and a Cajek ban of the week would help. Plus, why deny your true nature? You are a banninator, and that is all you are, and all you ever will be. Swing that banstick indiscriminately, fulfill your destiny! --UU - natter 10:18, Feb 3

Another stupid question...

Could the bottom page wiki ads be altered in the form of the parody ads like those on {{Ad}} ? In theory, they'd still point to other wikis but with kind of an Uncyclopedian spin to make it seem less like advertisements. Or is this something totally controlled by Wikia? MadMax 10:04, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

No such thing as a stupid question. Well, maybe just Why did the chicken cross the road?. Anyway, unfortunately this is something completely out of our control, it's being run by our lords and masters from Wikia. They even changed one recent reskin that hid those ads. However, there is a custom CSS that hide those for Firefox users. Which browser are you using? ~ 10:14, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

I switch computers alot but its usually a very outdated version of IE. MadMax 10:35, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

From a non Uncyclopedia career point of view, if you're using IE6 you probably want to stop doing that, it's a very unsafe version of IE. Otherwise, Firefox is a brilliant browser, and a lot of the custom code you have on the site doesn't work on IE, so you're missing quite a lot of the fun parts. ~ 10:43, February 3, 2010 (UTC)

You lied about that whole "no stupid questions" thing.

But I'll let it go for now. Just remember, I've got my eye on you. There's an article on vfd that is raising an issue that I think requires your special Jew touch. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:47, 4 Feb

Stamp

How's that? --UU - natter 08:03, Feb 4

Beautiful! ~ 08:29, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Don't you think you were a bit hard?

On Sycamore I mean? No pun intended by the way. --Ozymandiaz 14:55, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

As long as your name isn't Sycamore, you would do well to stay out of this. ~ 15:00, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Oh for the love of God, don't be so dashed melodramatic. The two of you were practically married and now you're turning your back on him because he was a bit harsh on a noob. He was only doing what he thought was the right thing to do. Pull the poker out of your arse and let's see some of that legendary Jewish wit of yours because you know what will happen if you don't: 'I'll give you marriage counselling, whether you like it or or not! --Ozymandiaz 17:46, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

YEAH! Do you know who this guy is Mordillo? He's Ozymandias, dammit! Look upon his works and be afraid. But seriously, who the hell is this guy? Also, I still love you Jew. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:03, 4 Feb

My name is Sycamore. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 19:48, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

I believe your name is Legion. ~ 20:00, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

I believe his name's Sylar. --Ozymandiaz 16:06, February 5, 2010 (UTC)

I believe that I am Spartacus. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 15:43, Feb 8 2010

Don't you think you were a bit hard?

I mean, after four hours, you're supposed to go to the hospital. pillow talk 18:11, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

You know what Hyperbole? I'm so sick of your shit that I'll just go now and feature yet another article of yours as number 7 in the top 10 of 2009. Jesus! Will you quit it already?! ~ 19:04, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, look at that, I do have three of those. Huh. I hadn't noticed. Nope, hadn't noticed at all. But now, I have a conundrum: I'm trying to simultaneously write a hilarious article on Lady Gaga and a heartbreaking song of loss and teen angst for my band, and I fear they're starting to bleed together. Also, I've had Paparazzi stuck in my head for four days. Parodizing Gaga is dangerous work. Man's work. I have callousy hands. I'm going to stop typing things now. pillow talk 19:12, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

I got this stuck in my head for a week now:

I win.

Also, apparently I got two collabs in the list. Can I be called minihype? ~ 19:16, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Wow, you got that stuck in your head? It doesn't even have lyrics - it's all nonsense syllables! But, hey, whatever floats your boat. And you can call yourself megahype if you want. After all, I'm your biggest fan; I'll follow you until you love me. Papa - paparazzi. Baby, there's no other superstar. You know that I'll be your papa, paparazzi. Promise I'll be kind, but I won't stop until that boy is mine. Baby, you'll be famous. Chase you down until you love me, papa, paparazzi. pillow talk 19:26, February 4, 2010 (UTC)

Um. Excuse me. I do not approve of people posting YouTube videos on talk pages. Do you think that this is some kinda social club where you can have anything you like on your page? As an administrator you are a representative of Uncyclopedia, and therefore I expect you to set an example for the other users. I also expect you not to have an opinion of your own. This video is not funny, and I do not agree with it's contents. You will never change me from being the prince of pants. Only videos which I think are funny should be post on this page. Also, I know a fucked up story about some paedophile or something or other... MrN 19:34, Feb 4

In addition, why should I care about this video? I don't want to watch it. Stop talking to me about it. Also, everyone hates you. MrN 19:36, Feb 4

UnSignpost 4th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

You'd be crazy not to listen!

Feb 4th, 2010 • Issue 74 • Ain't It Uncool? News!

Spang Archives Talkpage; End of World Expected Imminently By UU Renowned Wikia fan, code monkey and sexy admin Spang has performed what many users believe to be the clearest sign to date of impending apocalypse: he's archived his talk page. After almost 2 years of torturing the Wiki's servers, and having amassed a fairly impressive 410,844 bytes of content, Spang finally decided to give people the chance to talk to him without waiting for half an hour for his page to load. When asked for his reasoning behind this unprecedented move, the muddy funster quipped "no comment". Faced with such dazzling repartee, this reporter has no choice but to cut to the next story and hope he has some better quotes to pad it out with. Award Winners Speak Exclusively to UnSignpost By Someone who definitely isn't running out of ideas already this year Well, there you go folks, looks like the "... of the Year" award voting is done and dusted for another year. Thanks to all who voted; without you, the admins would probably have less to do, which would obviously be dangerous. Anyway, that aside, your ever-topical Unsignpost went and mugged the various winners for comments on their various wins. Several of them, of course, have already made their feelings clear to those who voted for them by way of the traditional thanks templates. Apart from UU, because he's a lazy ass. Or because he's busy writing this. Whichever. Anyway again, for the benefit of those who didn't vote for the winners, and don't watch their talk pages, here's what they had to say: Runaway WotY Hype said: "Thanks, you guys!! If you'll permit me to be dead serious for the first time ever on the wiki, this really is an honor, and it's pretty damn touching that so many people came out in support of my work. Whew. Being serious felt weird. I feel... strange. BALLS BALLS PENIS COCK. Ah... there's the stuff!" He then went off to write another My Sojourn spin-off. Even more runaway PotY Sonje said: "Thank you, I intend to return as soon as I can. I am currently in Africa with very limited internet access. I'll try to time my return to co-incide with the Oscars so that I can get some pointers for my acceptance speech." Admittedly, that was before we asked her for a comment, but then, she is in Africa with limited internet access. Joint UotY Socky channeled Churchill to say: "*scrapes throat* Ahem! I would like to say to the community as I would say to anyone who joined this website: Uncyclopedia has nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, what is our aim? I can answer in one word: Victory. Victory at all costs — Victory in spite of all error — Victory, however long and hard the road may be, for without victory there is no survival. … That seems to be the wrong Churchill speech. Okay, I'll give it another try. *scrapes throat again* The gratitude of every home throughout the world, except in the abodes of the guilty, goes out to the British airmen and Belgian spies who, undaunted by odds, unwearied in their constant challenge and mortal danger, are turning the tide of the Wiki War by their prowess and by their devotion. Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to two people. And so on and so on… Woot! Woot!" Long-winded bugger. And other joint UotY UU said: "wow, Socky's already left me needing a lot of filler for the right panel, so I'll keep this shortish. First, it's good to see someone who isn't an admin get their hands on this award, and Socky's hard work deserves recognition. Second, it's great to have my complete lack of a life recognised in this way. Third, did someone say Spang's archived his talk page? What the fuck's that all about?." Oh, and Dr. Skullthumper was UGotY, but that was a foregone conclusion anyway. He didn't seem to have any comment of his own to make, so TKF hopped in to the breach with "I call the award a "fascist disgrace" and "move to permanently disbar Mike Socia, that ape from Lighting who made my mole visible to all of the goddamn world watching the ceremony."" Which about wraps it all up, I hope.

Check out these pages! No really, it's archived and everything! There are moar quesitons than answers Not sure what the point is, but it's not made with a certain style A question we have all asked, so many times From our logs: 13:56, 2 February 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 161.12.7.4 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (Excess stupid detected. Take it to Niggermania, VNN or one of the many charming forums for racist lunatics like yourself out there.) 11:15, 1 February 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 151.49.98.244 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (ITALY does not rule and has not ruled for quite some time now actually. Blame the Christians if I were you...) 19:46, 29 January 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.11.81.96 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Improve your manners, cunt) 09:51, 29 January 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 70.167.51.90 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (UN:VAIN. have a quick read of it, and see why we're not interested in you. although you could probably just look in a mirror and figure that out...) Biopic Legend of the Week MadMax. Forty two thousand edits. Countless other contributions that can never be measured by simple Wiki stats software. No drama. Ever. Probably the single greatest force for good on this miserable little wiki. And it took us until issue 74 to profile him. The UnSignpost sucks; Max certainly doesn't. Old School Featured Article of the Week The 1x1x1 Rubik's Cube is by far "The Most Difficult Puzzle Of All Time™". Many have scrambled, twisted and turned this mythical puzzle, but few have solved it. By the end of this article, YOU TOO will be able to solve this puzzle. Unfortunately... you may encounter some problems on the way though... such as, twisting the cube the wrong way when speedsolving. The Desperate Return of Cajek Ban of the Week! (Block log); 10:20 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 10000 years ("And he shall scourage the Earth for 9999 years. And then one more" Book of Mordillo, chapter 1 verse plox. ) Horoscope of the Week Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 22) - So, yeah, it's the start of Black History Month. And speaking of Black History, seems like it's an appropriate time to finally track down your real father. You see, it turns out, that's not just a Jew-fro. For the rest of this week's 'scopes, see here. Redundancy of the Week Did we mention Spang's archived his talk page?

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  15:14, Feb 4

HTBFANJS Section 8

Hi! I've done three passes of edits on UN:HTBFANJS#Avoid Stagnant Jokes. The big goal was to better organize the single, large list, but the categories of Stagnant themes and Stagnant articles contain new material, notably the gamecruft we have been blazing trails through on VFD, as noted in the change summaries.

Am now up against the limit of my competence: The first list, tedious pop culture references, is unwieldy, and I am no expert on pop culture. Could you draft someone who could reduce this 8-item list (with two sublists) by about half? Spıke ¬  21:12 5-Feb-10

Don't know whether he read the above, but Happytimes did exactly that yesterday. Spıke ¬  11:34 8-Feb-10

Oops, sorry, completely missed that. I'll take a look. ~ 12:08, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Re:

Hey. I did what you asked me to do. I changed "Taśmy Kuleć" what actually meant "Tapes To Limp" :P to "Chromający Pas". Pas means belt/strip but is used when talking about long horizontal or vertical area of land. I used also a word "Chromający" what is a bit archaic form for "Limping" but because many things in Poland got archaic or anachronic names I thought it will suit the theme. But if you don't like the look of this word, you may change it to "Kulejący Pas" or "Kuśtykający Pas" but they doesn't sound good for a Pole (in my opinion). But due to the fact this article is written for English people, decide yourself about look and improper pronunciation you probably make while trying to read it :) (no worry I believe I use many improperly pronounced English word. :P)

And I changed also "name" of Polish goy. Peoter Sczeptzcanik or how he was named was absolutly not Polish-like. But I used one hard to say/read name "Krzysztof Grzegorz Szczepankiewicz". I hope you like it but if not, change it back.

Cheers! Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 11:29, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Bloody marvelous! (I tried to do translate that but Google refuses to translate "bloody"). ~ 12:10, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks from me also, Ptok-Bentoniczny - Krzysztof Grzegorz Szczepankiewicz is an excellent name, as is Chromający Pas. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:02, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Bloody is "krwawy" in Polish but we don't use it in the context you wanted to use :). I'm glad you liked those names. (I didn't read whole article yet but I think it's really good (my opinion is based on several random fragments) and I really liked this fragment about Poland :P I heard a story about Poles murdering Jews circa 1945-1950 because Poles thought Jews are cannibals... :P Sir Ptok-Bentoniczny^{Pisz tutaj} • KUN 15:01, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Shit! Looks like they're onto us again, 'Dillo - better hide that half-eaten corpse quick! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:35, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Forget that, I see a Pole on my talk page! Catch him quick and we can add him to the Chromający Pas! ~ 16:37, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

I'm not eating p'tcha, though - even if it is made from as tasty-looking a Pole as Ptok-Bentoniczny! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:49, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Wait wait wait, JUST WAIT ONE GODDAMNED MINUTE! You mean to tell me that Jews aren't cannibals? Then what does kosher mean? -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:19, 12 Feb

fly little birdy! fly

Are you calling our article a faygeleh?! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:34, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

What, to a mensch who is 43KB long?! ~ 12:43, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

It did turn out to be rather a big 'un, didn't it? Almost as long as your talk page when you don't archive it for a week or so. I'm looking forward to the kashrut one - the Jewish Cuisine has jokes for gentiles and a few only other Jews will get, which I think is a good thing, and kashrut is likely to be much the same. Now, I really ought to try to finish at least one or two of the six works in progress I have on a back burner before starting anything new! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:50, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Likewise, I have one I really need to continue with. Let me know when you're available for the next one! ~ 12:54, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

I suppose it can be started at any time really, we can always let it take however long it takes as with the last one. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:57, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

I think I need some time off the Jewish stuff. Everything thinks I'm one as it is. ~ 13:00, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe if you didn't go around killing Christian messiahs they wouldn't? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:05, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Now, honestly. Who on earth would do something like that? :D • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 15:11, Feb 8 2010

u

u gay i cul u gay.........u gay u gay 21:26, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

Your mom claims otherwise. ~ 21:31, February 8, 2010 (UTC)

ROFL!--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 03:21, February 11, 2010 (UTC)

On ROTM

Before you kick my ass off for reverting you, it's because IPs carry full weight on ROTM. So don't kill me! Eek!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 20:36, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

You're right! I never noticed that rule since I'm not involved that much in ROTM. So you get free get out of jail card. Thanks for noticing. ~ 20:50, February 9, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 11th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

83.54% more reliable than The Daily Mail

Feb 11th, 2010 • Issue 75 • Picking the nuts of truth out of the muesli of news. Or something.

New way to win awards, impress friends, crush rivals! By UU Writing competitions, eh? With the Poo Lit Surprise, the Turkey Day Ball, and a conservation week or two, it would seem Uncyclopedians can't get enough of 'em. And now there's another! But this one has a point that separates it from the herd. Well a couple of points, actually. One: it's organised by human wiki-whirlwind MadMax, so it'll probably be efficient as all get-out; two: it's a sneaky way of fulfilling a need. See, there are all these great ideas for articles floating around at UN:REQ; articles that would undoubtedly improve this festering little wiki. And there they sit, being good ideas, but not being used. This competition aims to change all that! Yes, that's right, The Article Whisperer is a competition that gives you the ideas to get you started, all you need to do is supply the funny. What could be easier? Well, since you ask, perhaps judging it could? Max is also looking for at least 4 more opinionated types, unafraid of passing withering judgement on their peers. If you're interested in judging or entering, or if you have a good idea that would elevate this competition from being a damn good idea to a colossally awesome one, let MadMax know either on his talk page, or on the article's talk page. For those who want to selflessly improve the wiki while crushing all around them under the steel wheels of their genius, there can be no finer opportunity! General news round-up By UU As several things have been happening recently in Uncyclopedia, and ace cub reporter DogNewspaper is in some sort of snow-induced hibernation, and consequently too lazy to write individual articles on any of them, here is a quick synopsis of a couple of the more newsworthy recent events on the wiki in handy easy-to-digest bite-sized chunks. Mordillo nearly went mad attempting to feature all articles tied for tenth place in the top 10 of last year. And then spent the rest of this month to date patiently fielding questions about how long the rest of the featuring was going to take, and when normal featuring would resume. POTR did his best to help. When not asked for a quote, Mordillo said "FUCK YOU VERY MUCH AND SEE YOU IN 2011". We think he's just talking about the top 10, and not about taking a 10 month hiatus. That is, we hope so. A recent VFD nomination ended in a deletion marathon, as MrN and RDB spent 2 hours removing every last trace of the notorious Game:Page. Apart from the traces Mordillo deleted, that is. And the redirects to it that UU took care of, come to think of it. But still, all told, an impressive act of mass carnage only made more awesome by the fact that they somehow managed to delete Socky's userpage at one point during the proceedings. MrN claims "Both RDB and me still have sore huffing fingers you know".

Check out these pages! Insulting sports players - the future of comedy When is a month not a month? The most important link you'll ever click From our logs: 15:04, 8 February 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 169.139.1.20 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (We are having communications issues here. When I say don't recreate, it means don't press that little create button and paste the same content for the third time) 11:55, 8 February 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 74.75.78.223 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (there are a million better things you could be doing with your life right now, but you're inserting barely literate insults to a sports player on a comedy wiki. must suck really hard to be you.) 08:35, 7 February 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 76.92.151.225 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (We don't care if you fuck horses. No need to tell the world. Maybe the police, but that's up to you.) Biopic of the Week Being as he's now been on Uncyclopedia for three bastardin' years, this seems as good a time as any to profile Kip the Dip. A man of many contrasts, Kip appears to be some sort of useful gobshite. His enthusiasm for all things Uncyclopedia, including his tireless championing of Euroipods and sterling work on The word parakeet written exactly two hundred and forty-two times have helped make this wiki what it is today. The Worst. Thanks, Kip. Old School Featured Article of the Week Patriotism is an air-borne disease caused by the bacterium enlistment bonusai. It was first observed in 1776 by Dr. Arnold Bazonga, but was initially confused with the alcohol-borne illness bravery. Patriotism is communicable through the auditory ingestion of feces. Contamination often occurs from politicians, entrepreneurs, country music singers, Richard Albinger and French Emperors. Final Side-Panel Box of the Week Because we don't need that much padding this week.

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9001(bot)  13:02, Feb 11

Administrator Mordillo

A noob was on IRC last night asking to be unblocked. He was blocked for blanking Amygdala, an article he was working on. He claims to have blanked it because this guy was using the page to cyberbully him. A quick glance at the page history seems to back up what he's saying. I haven't looked too deep into it, but he seems to sincerelyy want to come back and keep working on it. Maybe unban him and ban the other guy instead? -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:56, 12 Feb

Ya might want to tell me who to block and how to unblock, otherwise I'll just block you and unblock I LOVE PIE!!! ~ 06:14, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

I know, I know. Using the old jedi mind trick to find out these things is kinda old hat these days but still worked fine this time. Also... I was never here. As you can see. MrN 07:06, Feb 12

Clearly we've come to an impasse here. I think we should all ban Cajek now. ~ 07:22, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

I can haz...

...rollback? I feel like being productive. sausage lol 00:59, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

You? Productive? Pchhhhhh!!! 07:24, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

No hard feelings or anything, right? :)

About the thing with ILP- I've noticed how much drama has been going on the past few months, and I'm sorry for making it worse. ^^'

By the way, I just realized, you're married? That is unacceptable! No Uncyclopedian is allowed to have a life, which means no girlfriends, and no wives! Only gay affairs with each other.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 03:10, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

No hard feelings at all. As for other issue, not only I'm married, I'll be changing my status to +1 in about two months. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt as Moosh would say. ~ 07:27, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hehehe :) • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 21:24 • Friday, 12-02-2010

I tell you what!

My bot is improving. These days, it bans people, huffs their pages, protects the rest... :) MrN 08:21, Feb 12

Don't let the bastard ban people! You give them too much power, will end up with Skynet! ~ 08:27, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Just so long as that does not happen... MrN 08:31, Feb 12

Rollback?

Hello, could you please give me access to the rollback feature, or add me to the rollback group in plain English ;). I undo vandalism here often, and having a plunger would make that a lot easier. I am experienced in this area, and I undo vandalism across Wikia. Thanks, Ajraddatz _Talk 20:07, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hi Ajraddatz, I looked over your contribs and I'd like to hold on for now. The reason being that I feel that it is more difficult to judge a vandal's edit from a noob's edit on Uncyclopedia. I prefer you gain more experience in general editing than just rolling back before handing over rollback. ~ 19:56, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

K, dat makes sense. Thanks. Ajraddatz _Talk 01:39, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

With all of this talk of it, I must ask

What is Rollback?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 22:38, February 12, 2010 (UTC)

The convenient tool that adds a button to undo edits with a single click. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 22:51 • Friday, 12-02-2010

It's more than undo, it removes the entire series of edits done by the editor you're rolling back. ~ 19:56, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

+1?

Does that mean there's a baby Mordillo on the way? -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:42, 12 Feb

I think it just means he gains a level and all of his stats and hit points increase.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  13 Feb 2010 ~ 01:45 (UTC)

Yes there is, and no it isn't from UU, which I know would be the next thing you're going to ask. ~ 19:56, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Aw, but you and UU having a Minidillo would be so cute! (Except the delivery. I wonder where that would come out?)—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 20:19, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Let's imagine this possibility was never discussed eh? ~ 20:21, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Mazel tov, 'Dillo and Mrs. 'Dillo! B'sha-ah tovah! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:09, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! Now if I could only find a mohel I can trust...~ 12:15, February 16, 2010 (UTC)

Well, I can't claim to be a mohel, but I worked in a veterinary surgery for six weeks when I was 15. Also, I have a decent knife sharpener, so I can easily put a keen edge on the knife I use to peel potatoes; and we're getting a new sofa delivered next week and if I left the plastic wrapping on it for a while it'd be perfectly usable for the sandek without the missus killing me for getting blood on it and our old leather armchair'll do for Elijah. Hmm. Call it £5 all in and I'm yer man, but bearing in mind I'm an amateur there's no refunds if it grows back. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:15, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

How about a shot of Talisker distillery edition I got last weekend? ~ 10:21, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Oy vey! I'll give you £5 and do the bris for that! Oh, no refunds if it's a girl either. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:23, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Well congratulations my Jew friend! All my best wishes to Mrs. Mordillo as well. :) -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:26, 18 Feb

Thnks

for the Hathaway feature. Appreciated, and a nice surprise for the weekend. What? OK. Annie wants to thank you too, she's really a little minx when she's not filming. Aleister in Chains 00:23 13 Feb. MMX

Tell her I said HAY ANNIE! I LOVE YOU! ~ 19:56, February 14, 2010 (UTC)

Plz

give me rollback! I promise I'll be good! --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 15, 00:12, 2010

Hya, I've looked over your contribs, and out of 1280 edits in total only 57 of them are in the main space. Even if you add some other relevant spaces such as 75 in the Uncyclopedia space and 42 in templates, it seems that the majority of your edits are in your userpage, talk pages and forums. On top of that, it seems that you still don't know how some essential parts of maintenance work (such as - posting vandals in ban patrol) - leads me to the conclusion that you'll be better off without rollback for now. If you really want rollback, put some effort into contributing to the site maintenance and we can discuss it again in the future. ~ 12:38, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Alright. Bye then. --InvincibleFlameGrueMaster 02 15, 20:10, 2010

I demand rollback too! But I only want to use it once, to rollback uncyclopedia to Jan. 4, 2005. Then wikia will feel my wrath, yahaha. Aleister in Chains 14:25 MMX

Error

Pup 09:10, 15/02/2010

Just thought...

I might draw this and this to your attention. MrN 10:49, Feb 15

See above. ~ 12:38, February 15, 2010 (UTC)

Noms

Thanks for the two day stay for Anne on features, she has nine lives,that one. Please take a look at a 2007 article I've nommed, a vote by you (and I have no qualms about whoring this masterpeice) might help it quite a lot. Thanks. Aleister in Chains 14:25 15 Feb. MMX

Ahem...

I made a minor booboo with a sentence in the first section of how to change a spare tire. I've changed the article but it is showing that error on the front page. It's not a deadly error, but it makes a little more sense after I fixed it. Can you do a little fixy fixy for me? (stop traffic needs to become change a tire) Pup 02:01, 17/02/2010

Changed that tire for you O_O ~ 09:13, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks - the worry was very tyring. Pup 09:23, 17/02/2010

This humour appears to have gone flat. MrN 09:38, Feb 17

I don't give a jack that was very bad, I know ~ 09:41, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

I was pumped full of good puns, but the reception on that has left me deflated. Pup 09:45, 17/02/2010

Did you have a Puncture? I'm sooooo sorry. /me Run off into the hills to live alone with the animals. MrN 10:28, Feb 17

What a puny attempt at humour. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:34, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

/facepuns ~ 10:35, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

I think it's time the car puns were retired. I mean I cranked out a few, but I'm now out of gas. I was going to throw in some more, but then thought, what's the diff erence. I mean, are we really geared to handle this many puns? I know humour is the engine of this site, but we'll be better off without distributing all of these. So let's put the brakes on this once and for all, because it's driving me up the wall. Pup 10:55, 17/02/2010

Yugo ahead and stop making them if you wish. The rest of us have difficulty thinking up jokes, and cannot afford to do so. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:58, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

You're both quite the audiacious types aren't you? ~ 11:06, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Ohh! Audiacious is a long word. You must have been educated at a very porsche school to have a vocabulary like that. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:10, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

What are you folks waggin' on about? --UU - natter 12:04, Feb 17

Oh, just your normal lada la di da. You know. ~ 12:54, February 17, 2010 (UTC)

Can someone please steer this conversation elsewhere? Pup 13:24, 17/02/2010

Well, if you will go trawling around I'm sure UU and myself could come up with a mini clutch of Fish Puns. Not that I'm trying to hijack the sole of this thread, but it does appear to be starting to flounder. MrN 14:26, Feb 17

UnSignpost 18th February 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!

Feb 18th, 2010 • Issue 76 • Now with 20% more vanity!

Understanding of the universe is shattered; Creation as we know it is defunct By POTR Imperial colonisation is back, and in true colonisation style, is taking religion to the masses. One of the most controversial elements of religious understanding has been the answer to the question "How did we get here?" This has often been seen in the debate that has been long held between Creationists and Evolutionists. Now that Imperial Colonisation is back on its feet, under the able guidance of IC Buccaneer Admiral Why?, they are educating the masses on this as we speak. "The article had been befouled by some evil doers, probably French or Spanish or Americans or worse. We are diligently researching and writing to bring the article in line with the Truth." stated Buccaneer Admiral Why?. A dramatic re-write is in process, as Why? has all his seamen working towards the noble goal of indoctrinating the masses in Creationist theory. After some false starts involving a banana and a jar of peanut butter, the recreation of creationism is being created. "The colonized article will show how the Empire has the right and duty to colonize everywhere by any methods available, and that anything we do is God's will. We will finish it by Saturday, 20 of February, or by Saturday, 27 of February, depending upon how long it takes us to colonize the natives. Anyone who wishes to apply to join our noble effort may do so at Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization." Why? stated in closing. Darwin awards - Uncyclopedia Stylie By POTR Recently a n00b by the name of I LIKE PIE!!! chose to join the Uncyclopedia family. After a very short time he demonstrated the behaviours that make Uncyclopedia the place that it is. Of course, removing edits and formatting fixes by other users had him come to the attention of Dr. Skullthumper, who politely left him a message along with a 48 hour ban. Fortunately he showed the resilience that 10 year olds have when they are in the middle of doing something completely idiotic, and continued to trawl through people's talk pages, undo their edits, and generally be a dick. MrN9000, understanding the right balance of politeness and harshness, gave I LIKE PIE!!! a friendly message on his talk page, with a 1 week ban to support the severity of his words. Undeterred, I LIKE PIE!!! later returned. 1 week and 35 minutes after his previous ban, MrN repeated his previous words to the young man, along with a further 1 week ban. Thankfully, it appears that I LIKE PIE!!! took MrN's words to heart, as he managed to last a further 30 minutes after this second ban before he ran afoul of Roman Dog Bird, who in true RDB style demonstrated what an infinite ban actually means. When hard-hitting journalists pressed for details relating to the banning of this pre-pubescent pestilence, MrN replied "What kinda a journalist are you man!?!" Congratulations, I LIKE PIE!!!, for becoming the inaugural Uncyclopedia Darwin award winner, and removing yourself from the meme pool that we all enjoy.

Check out these pages! Some people are just too vain... Sluts get VD, I think Everyone loves a bad winner From our logs: Under user blocked 206.113.136.253 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (y0u h@v3 b33n b@nn3d (don't be a tw@t)) MrN9000 huffed "Onlytheashesremain" ‎ (You call that an article? Put your back into it!!!, not that we are calling you stupid you understand. Dave, can we call you Dave?) Roman Dog Bird huffed "Bucket of Shit" ‎ (Funny title, but the content proves that you like to suck big, fat, black, dick. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but you obviously have trouble admitting it. Well....I'm not here for you dude. Sorry.) Biopic of the Week Hmm, who to bio this week? Well, it's been a while since we covered {{username}}, we could always go back to that old chestnut... Or maybe something esoteric, like profiling the sidebar, that'd fit with Unsignpost tradition. Hmm. Or maybe we could note that Turbo-Whoring machine, one-man Doritos fan club and Torch-Carrier by appointment to someone called "Jenny", CheddarBBQ hasn't actually asked to be profiled this week, and therefore decide this is the perfect opportunity to profile him. Usurping of the Week The Unführer of Der Unwehr has recently demonstrated the concept of survival of the fittest by finally having someone with more DU points than him threatening his position. "This is unacceptable, and will not be tolerated. Following standard Nazi protocol, the young officer in question will be forced to resign his position due to his disturbing excess of competence, just like what Hitler did to Rundstedt, List, Manstein, Bock, Rundstedt again, Busch, Leeb, and Rundstedt a third time. I wash my hands of this." Unführer Guildensternenstein said in response. Stand-in of the Week It has come to our attention that an anonymous user has infiltrated the presses here and overtaken the majority of the writing for an issue of the Unsignpost. When approached by Necropaxx to discuss this catastrophe, he is quoted as saying "I... is a... butt." This editorial team couldn't agree more.

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9001(bot)  23:37, Feb 18

Administrator Mordillo

For the record, I never expected an entire namespace to be deleted on the word of 5 people. I was mainly just trying to get a conversation going and maybe drum up some ideas about how we can improve it. I won't lie, ideally I'd like to see the gamespace gone, but I'm willing to compromise as well. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:34, 19 Feb

YOU WANNA TAKE IT OUTSIDE?! Oh, sorry, separate conversation, right? So what do you have in mind to tighten control over the Game space? ~ 22:39, February 19, 2010 (UTC)

LOL DELETE IT!!!! One alternative might be to restrict IP's from creating new games altogether. Also, I think any new games should be required to be written in user space and to be pee reviewed before they can be moved into the gamespace. And of course, a mass burnination of most of the crap that's already there. But honestly, I just don't see the value of the gamespace. As emc said, it's not really a parody of anything on Wikipedia, and the whole concept is severly limited humor wise. The original Zork was (arguably) funny because it was a parody of the game. Most everything that's come since is just a ripoff of Zork. To me, there's no difference between the majority of the games and all the AAAAAAA clones that we huff on sight.  :/ Maybe appoint someone to be in charge of the gamespace? Somebody we could trust (and has the ability) to huff new crap without bogging down qvfd or vfd? I dunno, just some spitballing here. How about you, you got any ideas? -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:55, 19 Feb

Deleting gamespace

Ummm.... don't. Please. Reasoning behind this is what drew me into Uncyc firstly was the games, and from there I discovered the articles. One of the best games that I have ever played for the humour value was "Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy" which was a purely text-based game written by the great Douglas Adams himself. The games here are reminiscent of that, although admittedly the quality of some of them leaves an extraordinary amount to be desired. Secondly a major issue with this is that the way the games have evolved here are as a purely text-based level and none of them, as far as I can see, have progressed beyond that level. That is, of course, because wikimedia doesn't lend itself easily to anything beyond this. I can't think of any way to create an arcade style game in wikimedia without the inclusion of flash (which I can't use), or some other form of scripting, (of which I only can really use VBA or javascript as a web based scripting, and neither of those are much good for arcade.) However there are a huge amount of games that fit between these two extremes. Off the top of my head I have "Myst" as the classic point and click adventure, along with "Under a Martian sky." Now these two I can do, in part, with wikimedia as it stands, which is where User:PuppyOnTheRadio/aitd has come from. It's still a little buggy, and is definitely a work in progress, but once I've ironed out the few issues I'm having with it, then I'm very close to being able to generate a simpler way to do this, using templates and a little hackery. Especially if I can have access to the access to a CSS similar to yahoo, which would make this a smaller frame, like what I already have, but hosted in a larger screen. Now it would be irksome if I was to go to all this work to just have the Game subsite vanish. Of course, if that were to happen I'd probably recreate it in that this would just be moved to Game:Alone in the Dark, similar to the UnDebate subsite (which doesn't exist) but is nodded toward with UnDebate: Is it ever right to restrict freedom of speech?. But with Dragon Warrior being as successful as it is, and Street Fighter also having some success, and I'm sure there are a few more examples of game based articles that are popular, it says to me that we have a game savvy audience here at Uncyc - while what we have so far in this subsite is still very clunky and amateurish, that doesn't mean that there isn't hope for it. And there probably is a forum that this speech belongs to, but I'm not a good one for keeping track of forums, and discussion has been held here, so forgive my polite rant on your talk page. Pup 00:47, 20/02/2010

Yeah, it'd be pretty difficult to check the Dump and find the appropriate forum seeing as how it's currently the top forum and all... -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:49, 20 Feb

It's taken me 2 months to write half an intro to a game - I'm a little slow. Pup 01:46, 20/02/2010

I only play Monotheist and Romans First Edition, the second one has that gay over powered crucifixion attack!

Dear Mr. Mordillo Dude Man Sir,
Can I please have rollback? I'll be your best friend!
Love,  
P.S. I really like revertin' stuff because I have OCD and it reminds me of counting.

Oh, um, I guess rcmurphy beat you to it. But thank you!  

Just found this...

As King Arthur inspected his troops, he noticed that in the midst of all his men in shining armor, one man sat in dull, even rusty armor. King Arthur angrily turned to his lieutenant and demanded, "Ma nishtana ha-leilah ha-zeh?"

Told you I was bored... ;-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 13:04, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

ADMINISTRATOR aw fuck it, you know the joke by now.

Is there any point in ICU'ing a game? Would it show up for you guys to check since it's in a different namespace? I'm unsure as to how this sort of thing works. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:56, 20 Feb

Sure, ICU appears in the maintenance queue regardless of where it's placed. Also, fuck you etc. etc. ~ 18:15, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

So if I were to put an ICU tag on a game's main page, that's good enough? Or do I need to go through and tag every subpage as well? -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:17, 20 Feb

I think the main page would be enough and the admin running the maintenance will make the call when he reviews it. ~ 18:31, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

K, thanks. Also, you and the horse you rode in on etc. etc. -OptyC Sucks! CUN18:38, 20 Feb

Glad to be of service etc. etc. ~ 18:39, February 20, 2010 (UTC)

Double redirect oops...

...relating to Fuckwit - English translator. Sorry, and thanks for the fix. ~~

No worries. Now you need to apologize for fucking up your signature. ~ 21:33, February 21, 2010 (UTC)

No... when admitting I made a mistake I like to remain anonymous. – Preceding unsigned comment added by PuppyOnTheRadio (talk • contribs)

Morning and all that...

OK, you got me with

(Block log); 09:31 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) blocked Bobmac17 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time 
of 3 months (think twice before spamming next time)

That one... I thought we allowed external links so long as they were not obvious adverts and only added into sensible places? He only added one to his user page, and a link to a very relevant article. Or do you just really hate Doritos‎? I don't link the cheese flavoured ones myself... Also, I bet UU is up to his neck in baby vomit about now. :) MrN 09:38, Feb 23

What? A guy can't be cranky first thing in the morning?! ~ 09:57, February 23, 2010 (UTC)

I warned you about eating 3 packets of the cheese flavoured ones! MrN 10:05, Feb 23

NATO UnNews

Aaaaa! That feels better!

Hi Mordillo, thanks for quietly removing the NATO article from VFH. I didn't have any involvement in it's nomination, and have no idea personally who it is that made the Nom. I also didn't vote for it. But I am a little bit surprised that possible real-life bias, like Obama is above UnCyclopedia, is allowed to over-shadow the absurd joke of killing 190,000 people just to get 200 Taliban. And not to mention the real-life lesson: This would happen if they use nukes! Anyway, I feel like you're, kinda, an old friend, cause you're friends with MrN, and Spike (even, maybe, Spike doesn't believe it, but I really do like, respect and owe him gratitude for loads of help), and other writers I like and respect, cats who really helped me, and any friend of theirs is a friend of mine. Cheers!!!--Funnybony 19:00, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

I think that's the first time someone thanked me for removing something from VFH...:) But, you're welcome! ~ 19:48, February 24, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you for removing any articles of mine off VFH that you've removed off VFH in the past. I have no idea off the top of my head which ones they were, or why you did it, but I'm sure you had good reasons behind it all. (But don't do it again!) Nominally Humane! some time 20:49, 24/02/2010

Did I comment on someone's userpage, rather than their talkpage?

I find that hard to believe. I'd have to be an idiot to do so. Oh. Carry on. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:53, February 25, 2010 (UTC)

Inconceivable my good man. You are not capable of being an idiot. Ergo, I'm delusional. ~ 08:46, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Obviously. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:57, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

HELPME first article

Hey. I made a comment on User talk:HELPME but just wanted to run a thought past you. Can I take what he has in his user space and put it into main space with a few amendments and call it a completed article? Nominally Humane! some time 00:06, 26/02/2010

Yom tov

Chag Purim Sameach 5770!

(Note: "5770" refers to the calories you will consume with each meal over the next two days)

You can call them Haman's pockets,
You can call them Haman's hat.
But don't kid yourself...
You're eating human ears, you freak.
(And the police are on their way.)

This cheery yom tov message has been brought to you by
Rabbi Techno

---

Why, you...you...you PIRATE! :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 14:46, February 26, 2010 (UTC)

You Persian! (Hag sameach!) ~ 08:49, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Incidentally, I'd just like to point out that I do in fact kick arse when it comes to making hamantaschen. This year's batch (of 30) are undoubtedly the best I've ever made or tried - the blackcurrent ones went a bit funny and look strange, but they taste fantastic. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:23, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Erm, so...

...what's the deal with my talkpage? I mean, I know what happened and what OptyC said, and whatnot, I'm just curious as to why you saw need to delete it. (I'm not trying to be confrontational or anything, I just want to know what the hell I'm missing here.) —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 00:31, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Read the discussion on MrN's page. ~ 08:49, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks Mordillo. —Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 15:24, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

What's the point?

What's the point of deleting articles if they are of a long length? Is there something wrong with this place?

P.S. This is what I found at the Goa Tse Clan Office: File:Regel.jpg. Can you eat it? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 08:50, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

Is that a theoretical question or you refer to something specific. As for the Ptcha - read Jewish Cuisine for your sponsored response. ~ 08:52, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

This is a theoretical question. Why delete articles that is long, when we can improve it? And why is Game going to be deleted? There's Zork! And Grues! |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 09:54, February 27, 2010 (UTC)

What's the point of asking such a stupid question here, when the is a whole forum about it? Oh, because you did not read the forum. If you care about Game read the forum, otherwise shut up about it. MrN 10:35, Feb 27

UOTM stuff up

My apologies for that. I actually stuffed up the date on my PC and relied on that to tell me what day it was. You may notice I made a similar cock-up on ugotm as well. Mea Culpa. (And I'm now speaking in Church Latin to someone who is obviously not Catholic or high Anglican. Yes, I am a putz.) Nominally Humane! some time 10:20, 27/02/2010

What would you think about...

Doing a range block on 68.0.0.0/8 ? IP edits only, with account creation turned off? We could leave a block reason something like "If you want to edit Uncyclopedia go to another place with internet access and create yourself an account there, and you will then be able to use that account here."

I see virtually nothing but stupid edits coming from that range. It's one of the TinkyFag ranges, and I think a lot of it is proxy anyway. I have seen some good edits come from that range, but VERY few... Take a look at the block log over time... Whatdoyathing??? MrN 00:20, Feb 28

Hya, well you know I'm not a big fan of a range block (especially a permanent one). How much destructive activity do we actually get from that range? Do we know how much of that is open proxies? ~ 16:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, yea. I agree we don't want to do this really. I was more just kinda saying keep an eye on it over a long period of time. Myself, I have seen rather a lot of bad edits coming from there for a good while now, and very, few good edits. It is a range which tinkywinkisgay uses. I think say 68.200.0.0 to 68.255.0.0 is possibly all open proxy. It's not the actual blocking of open proxy which is so much a problem, it's more that I just hardly ever see anything useful coming from there. Almost always whenever I see a contribution from there it needs reverting. I'm not suggesting we do anything now, but... Just keep an eye on it. It happens enough that I noticed it as being a particular issue, and enough to point it out to you. Over time... See if you can see what I mean. I have been watching the range with a careful eye for a good while now...

Oh, on another note... There is actually a feature in media wiki which we could ask Sannse to turn on (if we did want to) which can take a very large list of proxies which are known to be open and block the lot. Wikipedia maintains a list of open proxies I think, and there are various other trusted lists around the net which we could use. I don't think we want to block open proxy editing. I'm just mentioning it as you might not have known... MrN 17:30, Mar 1

Block

Hey, please block User:Huge Wangs. He is an account created by User:Gigantic Dongs. Thanks! Ajraddatz _Talk 20:28, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

As tempting as it is, let's see what he's up to. ~ 20:29, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Well, it does seem that he likes men. Please 67.227.203.94‎, which seems to be his IP, and which is continuing the vandalism. Thanks again, Ajraddatz _Talk 20:32, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

I always say these things too late. Thanks :) Ajraddatz _Talk 20:33, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

On a related note, It seems MrN blocked a Mr. BiggusDickus (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser for a week earlier today. Call me crazy, but I think he might be the same guy as Mr. Gigantic Dongs (talk) – contribs (new • del) • edit-count • block (rem • list) • all logs • groups • checkuser, whom you just infiniblocked. Just bringing it up to your attention since they both probably deserve an infinite now. But, tis your call. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:36, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

You kids missed the party in IRC... :) MrN 21:44, Feb 28

Hmmm? ~ 21:45, February 28, 2010 (UTC)

Olipro kept giving him channel opps and then quickly talking them away again... We did laugh... MrN 21:48, Feb 28

UnSignpost 25th February 2010 (It's not late your mum is)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.

Feb 25th, 2010 • Issue 77 • Slurping the froth of Truth off the cappuccino of News

Games, games and more games! We have more games then you can poke a stick at! By POTR Is the games namespace 99.9% shit was the question elegantly asked by OptyC recently. A simple question that has sparked a storm in a teacup. While Uncyclopedia is, undoubtably, the pinnacle of fine parody, it has been suggested the this particular poor cousin of the Main space has been allowed to fall into disrepair and disrepute due to the influx of poorly crafted content. In the words of one editor Delete it. It's cruft and I'm not even sure if it qualifies as a parody namespace of anything on Wikipedia. However, despite the lack of quality content, a significant portion of users have requested that it remain in play, however it be improved by having a little tender loving care given to it, along with a more rigid amount of cruft huffing. As such, it is with open arms we welcome the inclusion into this realm of the new moderator of the Games namespace OptyC, who will be referred to going forward as the Game Master. Upon the announcement of this singularly spectacular accolade, Optyc's first words were Maybe I shoulda just kept my mouth shut, eh? Although much respect must be levelled his way at the way he has taken to his new role with much gusto, winnowing through the chaff to find the kernels of wheat available in there. For more information on these developments, visit Forum:The Games namespace. It's Alive! By Mordillo A new blow to the "democrats"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" of Uncyclopedia, opposing the disputed hereditary law. Senior member of the non existent Cabal and editor-in-chief-in-absentia of this newspaper, UU has announced the birth of heiress to the throne, also known as UUette. UUette was reportedly born holding a scepter and a miniature ban hammer, wearing a crown and QVFD grade galoshes and waving frantically at the hysterical cheering masses. The non existent cabal promptly announced a reserved seat for UUette in the VFS round of 2026 as well as the prestigious position of "Noob of the Month". A shrouded spokesperson for the Cabal noted that "it would have been important for the Cabal, were it to exist, that the existing Cabal dynasty, especially one coming from such a quality genetic specimen such as UU, shall continue without disturbance. The Cabal is greatly pleased with UU and Mrs. UU for bolstering its numbers for the greater Cabal's good." Sporadic demonstration of support were noted around the Uncyclopedia realm, as supporters of the Cabal were seen with "DEAR UUette IS GREAT" and "ALL HAIL THE HEIR APPARENT" signs. So called "democratic"/"liberals"/"whiny bitches" protests were dealt with swiftly and efficiently. And from all of us in the UnSignpost here is one big congratulations UU, may your daughter have huge...errr..tracks of land.

Check out these pages! A very pointed question Something about penises? Damn this self-referential humour From our logs: sannse blocked EugeneKay with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (WILL YOU PLEASE STOP GETTING BLOCKED!) MrN9000 blocked 173.53.142.210 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (HOWARD STERN IS *NOT* THE GREATEST. Steve Davis is considerably better for example. As is Burt Reynolds.) Under user 80.239.242.142 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (me again - I see you're still a twat. have much longer to do something about that.) Biopic of the Week Puppy on the radio's signature has been a long and respectable member of the Uncyclopedia community for many months. Undergoing genetic manipulations and constant radiation bombardment, it now qualifies as a sentient entity by its own accord. The signature, expecting to be emancipated in the near future, indicated that it likes funny articles, men who are not afraid to be in touch with their feelings and long strolls on the beach. Mordillo's profound statement of the Week "I don't mind boobs" Source: User talk:MrN9000 Word of the Week Abodespotism IPA: /əˈbəʊˈdɛs.pɒt.ɪzəm/ the rule of a household despot; the exercise of absolute authority over the household. absolute power or control of all housemates; tyranny of shared living.(n) (eg. "While you live in my house you will abide by my rules.") Origin: Abode + Despotism Related forms: Ab⋅od⋅es⋅pot⋅ic  , Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tis⋅tic, Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tis⋅ti⋅cal, adjective Ab⋅od⋅esp⋅o⋅tist, noun Note: Often confused with Nespotism. Source: Undictionary Underwater Sea Monster Sighting of the Week Deep sea recent changes fishermen have been repeatedly reporting sightings of a huge scaled fire breathing creature, roaming the deep. Later on, the on call coast guard confirmed that this was a "once in a generation sighting of Ogopogo. Ogopogo, a mythical see creature than has been tamed by the Cabal many generations ago, has been lost for decades but now apparently decided to come back and check what's for dinner. Tsunami waves are expected all across the pond for the next few weeks. Administrative Notification of the Week Uncyclopedia's management would like to thank all participants of the 2nd Dubai Uncyclocon and would like to emphasize that it takes no responsibility for the excessive usage of forged passports. Please, people, try to be more discreet next time eh?

9001(bot)  20:53, Feb 28

Thanks for the Award

Yes, it is my first and the new stripes will look sharp. We are told with confidence that nearly all remaining electric customers will be reconnected on this fifth day of the outage in New Hampshire. Seems I've been nominated for two other things--People must have decided I disappeared in anger and need inducement to return. Spıke ¬  18:30 1-Mar-10

Strike them down with great vengeance and furious anger, that's usually works. ~ 19:05, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

No, no one was or will be angry; it's just curious that the props started coming just when I was momentarily least deserving of them. Spıke ¬  04:08 2-Mar-10

Sig

What was wrong with it before? I don't see anything that was wrong per UN:SIG. Wild at Heart (Yell at me) 19:48, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Mattresses

Saw you on AAN and figured to come here because you have new mattresses that are cleaner than Tom's. -Wat Happen

O GOD WAT HAPPEN?! ahem. So what do you need? How can I help you? ~ 23:52, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Freshman year of high school I had a Senior who taught me things I didn't know I needed to know, so I figured something along those lines. ( I already skimmed through the beginner's guide ) -Wat Happen

OK, the second thing you'd want to read is HTBFANJS which is our unofficial bible. Also, read some of the featured content we have to offer. If you're missing ideas of what to write - you can look at UN:IDEA and Uncyclopedia:Requested Articles, that'll give you a good start. Don't forget to put the {{construction}} template on the article when you start it to avoid immediate huffing. What are you thinking about now? Would you like to write? Do you have any specific ideas? Do you need help in formatting? ~ 21:59, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks man, right now I'm good. Is it cool if I come by if I need help with anything? -Wat Happen

Sure, feel free. ~ 20:36, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

User:Teh awesomeness

I think his idea of funny may be hard to grasp by more people than myself. I know I should go on VFD if I have problem with his pages, but I think he's going over the top a bit with his creation-spree. --nldr 21:28, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

BTW, per your demand, I apologise for the "fascist" comment. It was utterly out of order and, more importantly, your views consider that the accusation is not to be exposed publicly. I'm sorry, sir. --nldr 22:57, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

I tend to think the same, left him a message. Also, I didn't really demand an appology, but thank you nevertheless. Also, BTW is VAT in the Netherlands. Bet you didn't know that! ~ 23:52, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

I did. That'll be €2.57, please. --nldr 02:28, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

What would you think about...

the interesting question posed by moi, over here? Is it workable? Is it palatable? And most of all, is it sexy?!?!?! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAYNAME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTTIME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAY}} {{SUBST:CURRENTYEAR}} UTC

It is certainly sexy but I, personally, am unsure how we would put it into action, could you just not link to the connecting article? Also this isn't my talk page. --Chiefjustice3DS 22:56, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

I could make some emphasized connection in the featured version but I don't see anything more than that...fresh out of ideas on that...~ 23:52, March 1, 2010 (UTC)

Well if both articles could get voted for on VFH we could queue them up to go day after day. If one passed VFH, we could hold back featuring that one, so as to allow the other to have a chance to pass VFH also? Maybe? I'm not sure. Also, this is not my talk page. MrN 00:03, Mar 2

Hmm. I don't know about two nominations. I'm not sure the voters would go for that. I guess I was thinking that we could somehow combine the two articles or have them stacked on each other or something, but now that I think on it, that's probably a dumb idea. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAYNAME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTTIME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAY}} {{SUBST:CURRENTYEAR}} UTC

Not at all, actually - if we get that one featured I have a vague idea of how to do it. ~ 07:56, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Link FA

Hi Mordillo, I'm from Nonciclopedia and I'm here to advise you that i'll put {{Link FA|it}} in Uncyclpedia's pages corresponding Italian pages that are in our Walk of Shame. Bye.--Cugino di mio cugino 13:39, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Hi, before you put anything - I'd like to understand more what exactly are you doing? Are you placing another FA template on the articles - or changing the interwiki link to indicate that they are featured in Nonciclopedia (like Wikipedia does)? ~ 13:43, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Strike that, I've looked at the template and it's perfectly fine. Please go ahead. ~ 13:46, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

I was putting interwiki link [[it:article]]. Now I begin with our awarded articles. Please, if you can, I have an other old request here. Thank you.--Cugino di mio cugino 14:35, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Cheers chap

Hi mate, thanks for wielding the banhammer appropriately and cowing the minions into finishing this week's Signpost - much obliged. Normal UU sevice should be resumed shortly. --UU - natter 13:47, Mar 2

pip pip and tally ho, or whatever you damn Brits say when you're happy! ~ 22:00, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

In case you missed it...

Short Hebrew courses in London. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:19, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Got it sir! Thanks very much. ~ 22:01, March 2, 2010 (UTC)

Remember me?

Hey Mr Mordillo. Remember me? Probably not. Shamefully, I haven't been able to edit on Uncyclopedia regularly the last few months. Pesky real life responsibilities, I can't wait for the 2012 Apocalypse. Anyway, I just wanted to thank you for locking Julius Malema. I saw that there was some vandalism going on here and there. People usually only vandalize his Wikipedia page, but it seems the infection spreads.

So, thanks!

Sincerely yours --BlueSpiritGuy 20:28, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

I have only one thing to ask - WHEN ARE YOU COMING BACK?! ~ 21:14, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

Hopefully, soon! Just these damn studies. Why does one have so many obligations? But I will be back... --41.145.233.202 21:17, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

I'll be hearing that with a heavy Austrian accent. ~ 21:25, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

No News Good News Audio

Dude! Did U create that audio? Haaa!! Cool! Funny! Cheers--Funnybony 22:50, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

Guilty as charged. Haven't done that in a while and that piece caught my eye. Hope you like it! ~ 22:54, March 3, 2010 (UTC)

LOL your talk page is teh suxxorrz

IRC? -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:43, 4 Mar

Be happy to, but can we do it tomorrow? Going to bed now. ~ 00:45, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe. You got a couple minutes anyway? I'm leaving in fifteen minutes anyways. -OptyC Sucks! CUN00:46, 4 Mar

I'm falling asleep here, we'll need to do it tomorrow as my control in English slips away. You can always send me an email as well. ~ 00:49, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

Ahem

Isn't it just basically a copy/paste of Zork 3? -OptyC Sucks! CUN

Is it? I haven't looked at Zork 3 for a while. ~ 21:00, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

It's a bad spork. Take a closer look at the title on the page. ;) -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:05, 4 Mar

The title is coming out of the template he used...~ 22:19, March 4, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 4th March 2010 (your calendar is wrong)

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper That Gets Its News Solely From Vandalism Johnny Is Teh FAGXORZ!!111 SHUT UP DOUCHEBAG!!11

Mar 4th, 2010 • Issue 78 • Snorting the drug of Truth from the toilet seat of News

Controversy over Uncyclopedian leads journalist to public outcry By Him again The "of the Month" nominations and celebrations have been marred recently by drama circulating in forums, talk pages and on vote pages in various areas. Fortunately, whenever and wherever a drama has reared its ugly head an Unsignpost reporter has been there to cover it. Why do I need to provide this? is now experiencing his second week of not having been nominated for anything. After mentioning to a respected editor that he had been nominated for at least one award for almost every day he had been part of the Uncyclopedia community, he bemoaned the fact that he had not been nominated for anything this month. "I've been nommed for something EVERY SINGLE DAY of the five months I've been here--until this month. I'm not nommed for anything. It's pretty depressing, really." Why? complained As a result of this complaining, Why? was then nominated for an award that had been more respected in the breach then in the observance - to paraphrase the bard - Nomination of the Month. When, after a series of events, Roman Dog Bird felt obliged to nominate Aleister in Chains' Nomination for NOTM of PuppyOnTheRadio's nomination for NOTM of Why do I need to provide this?'s nomination of PuppyOnTheRadio for UGotM, he simply stated "This is a stupid award." Meanwhile, at UotM, discussion over the number of awards given out led to an obvious discussion about the worth of RotM and UotM, which of course led, as all conversational roads do, to the hugely popular and debatably talented Dan Brown, not to be confused with Dan Kwon, as we aren't quite sure who he is. The debate got unexpectedly heated when a talented and handsome editor suggested that another less talented editor should perform carnal and bestial acts with random household appliances. Remember to cast your vote in AotM, PotM, RotM, NotM and WotM, or nominate the uncyc member that has impressed you most in these areas. And of course, always remember Mordillo's words, "This one is for people who made Uncyclopedia better by cleaning up shop, helping people and allow Uncyclopedia to wobble around without falling over." Vote today. Or tomorrow - depending on if you have the time. Vote for Sandwiches suspended, Uncyclopedians confused By UU Confusion reigned supreme in Uncyclopedia this month, as the ever-popular Vote for Sandwiches page was inexplicably protected, and changed to something that appears to be called "Vote for Sysops". Historical investigation by our fearless mascot DogNewspaper has revealed that this is actually the traditional process by which new sysops are selected on Uncyc - which came as a surprise to many editors, particularly the newer ones, many of whom didn't realise new sysops could be selected. And with the current vote count standing at 6 in favour, and with few regularly active sysops left to vote, it looks like the chances are that there will be new sysops by the end of this month - so time to start deciding who you're gonna nominate! Who will be the next to have a thousand IPs ask them on their talkpage why they deleted their useless little one-line stub? Stay tuned to find out?

Check out these pages! Heh - poopy Haven't we been here before? Hang on - writing articles? There's an idea... From our logs: 02:36, 1 March 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 153.107.33.156 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎ (Cyberbullying: I'm guessing that's what you are trying to do. If so, you are shit at it.) 14:57, 2 March 2010 Todd Lyons (Talk | contribs) blocked {contr|207.144.173.198}} (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎ (Anti-semitism + stupidity = my foot + your butt) 19:05, 2 March 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 66.211.39.160 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (Vandal: Why don't you go to concervapedia, and ask them if Jesus loves you. I say, He doesn't.) 18:32, 2 March 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 87.114.246.12 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (blanking by installments is still blanking. and blanking makes baby jesus cry. it also pisses me off, and that's far worse.) Biopic of the Week Is it actually legal to have two Portsmouth fans on the same wiki? The subject of this week's spotlight, Nachlader cared not a jot for this important question when he joined Codeine as Uncyc's second Pompey fan. Nachlader is an occasional drunk poster in the dump, a former NotM and RotM and, lest we forget, the writer of some very fine featured articles. Shame no-one can spell his username though. Old-school featured article of the month Smells Like Teen Spirit was a monthly celebrity scratch and sniff magazine produced by Grunge Publications in the early 1990's. Beckoning a time of true periodical change, young women aged eighteen to twenty-two decided that merely looking upon their favourite celebrities no longer hot-buttered their ever-so-proverbial muffins and collectively proclaimed, "Here we are... now entertain us." Perhaps it was something in the way these determined ladies phrased this proclamation, or simply the fact that Grunge perceived a lucrative sliver of the niche market that was girls who wanted to smell things, but the call was swiftly answered with a glossy, uniquely olfactory experience hailed as "a Nirvana for the nostrils" that became the unofficial scent of Generation X.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

9001(bot)  00:11, Mar 6

Sequel

Lets do it, bro. • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 04:00 • Monday, 8-03-2010

Hello? • FreddIs Great In Bedd • • • 17:24 • Monday, 8-03-2010

Yeah sorry, busy busy. I'm afraid you're on your own on this one :) I'm currently way way too busy to do anything other than basic maintenance to the site (I haven't even got to changing the front page blurbs yet. As soon as I get some time I'll take a look. ~ 21:20, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

User:SPIKE/UnNews style

I'm glad you're reviewing my edit of the HowTo: on UnNews articles. The material on red-links existed in the original. (I added the quip about making the editors see red.) As I've just told Zim about a couple of his objections, and as I thought but didn't tell you when you deleted my note in UN:HTBFANJS about fictional-country-cruft: You may be right, but are you sure we want to clear the way in a guide for new writers?

Specifically on your edit to this document, note that it only purports to cover UnNews articles. Would there be a point for an UnNews writer to leave a red-link in the news story in order to request that an article be written? I don't see it; if there's nothing to link to, don't code it as a link. Spıke ¬ 16:37 8-Mar-10

In general I agree that red links, especially the overuse of them, is not something we'd like to see. However, categorically forbidding the usage of red links (as well as non existing countries) is also not something we need to do - as we are a.limiting possible writing venues (just think that Euthanasia would not exist, I think that just the name is brilliant) or many articles that show up on the requested articles list would not appear due to a line in the HowTo article saying - you can't. And b.we'll have new users roaming Uncyclopedia removing every red link they encounter because they thing it's wrong and forbidden, which is something that happened with "Quoticides" in the past. Quotes were removed all over the place by some users regardless if they added any value to the article or not - simply because they were quotes. This is why I think the whole thing about red links should be toned down - saying that it is possible to use red links if they add to the article or point in the direction of a non existing article that can contribute to Uncyclopedia. ~ 16:58, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

I see your point; thanks. Spıke ¬ 19:03 8-Mar-10

Forgot to say, good job on that, it looks great. ~ 21:11, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

I did someting to add wikilinks (Also, for future reference)

You marked an article as Deadend, and I put some links in it. For the future, when I fix an article, should I remove the tag or is that bad? (The article in question was Gravity scam)—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 17:13, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

With a deadend tag - feel free to remove it if you've added links to it. I would be more careful with the other monthly maintenance ones. ~ 21:14, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Creationism

To answer your question - because I was trying to undo one edit and ended up undoing several. Sleep deprivation based fuck-up. Nominally Humane! some time 20:52, 8/03/2010

Use the Jewish mother's medicine - whiskey. And loads of it. ~ 21:18, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

NUNI

Why did you delete the entire NUNI page? Is it possible to restore it?User:Utsavguhathakurta/sig 03:44, 9/03/2010

It is possible if I understand exactly what it is about. At the moment it looks to me like a completely random article that doesn't mean a thing except to a small group of friends. Am I mistaken? ~ 22:17, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Not exactly a small group of friends actually :) NUNI is an abbreviated form of Newly United Naxals of India, a sort of ultra-left students group which was formed in the 1990s, and had a lot of lofty aims and ideals but did not survive. Currenty, it is a butt of political jokes here in India, and specifically in Kolkata.User:Utsavguhathakurta/sig3 03:53, 9/03/2010 (ITC)

I'll tell you what, I'll restore it to your userspace to work on it further to make it more clear to everyone who reads Uncyclopedia rather than just readers from Kolkata. You can also ask for pee review when you're ready. How does this sound? ~ 22:25, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Sure. User:Utsavguhathakurta/sig3 03:53, 9/03/2010 (ITC)

Done. ~ 22:33, March 8, 2010 (UTC)

Wow! A polite n00b and a polite admin! I don't think I've ever seen such a thing! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAYNAME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTTIME}}, {{SUBST:CURRENTMONTHABBREV}} {{SUBST:CURRENTDAY}} {{SUBST:CURRENTYEAR}} UTC

Incredible! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:17, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Last recorded incident - 1966. It was a sad day. ~ 10:46, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Why even the N*** page was deleted! and it seriously was a spoof on ultra-leftist movement in India. If you have a racist bias then that page may not mean much to you, but I don't think the site is for overtly racist people only.

Sorry, I was under the impression that you were calling me a racist and expecting a response? Try again. ~ 09:44, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Mordillo r teh bigest racist evar on uncyclopedia, hate, haet, haet, hat! --Chiefjustice3DS 09:48, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

My personal all time favourite racist attack was: "An anti-Semitic Zionist agent." Something is very wrong with the education system. I blame the Germans. Normally I would blame the Jews, or perhaps the French, but that's getting boring these days. Back to old fashioned NAZI hating I say. That's the direction we need to steer this wiki... MrN 10:02, Mar 12

When I have 17 archived talk pages, can I ge a general too?

Actually, I wanted to say thanks for weighing in on Spikes treatment of the UnNews HowTo. Isn't Spike awesome? Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:17, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

No problem at all. If he would have been a woman, I would probably marry him. I'll just need to divorce my current one first. Hang on, I'll get to working on that...~ 10:47, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Mainpage is Broken again

i.e. the tab and navigation bars are misaligned, probably due to an unclosed tag in the feature template. --Mn-z 01:50, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
  :Got it, thanks. ~ 06:55, March 9, 2010 (UTC)

Redirects

Hey, I'm trying to make a new user group and it would be immensely helpful to have Upsilon Sigma Sigma redirect to User:skinfan13/Upsilon Sigma Sigma. ΥΣΣ is not a real-life fraternity, so the likelihood someone would want to create an article about it is close to 0. --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 11:38 EST 9 Mar, 2010

I realize it's not a real life fraternity but generally we don't redirect from main space to user space. However, since the Unwehr seemed to have done that already, I wouldn't want to appear biased toward Fascist-isque organizations. I've restored the redirect. I've also left a remark regarding the usage of "we claim this article" template. Don't know if you had the chance to see it? ~ 00:30, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Not sure I did, now you've piqued my curiosity, a link perhaps to the aforementioned remarks? and thanks --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 22:41 EST 9 Mar, 2010

Here it is. ~ 11:55, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

Ahh, yes, I'll change the wording on that. I came up with the template text on the fly. --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 16:04 EST 10 Mar, 2010

I was more referring to the idea rather than the wording, we don't really allow "I call dibs" templates to be used, it is a wiki after all :) ~ 08:54, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Drama on VFD

A measured response on your part. I got mad, took a nap, did some yard work, felt it still needed to be said. It's over. Cheers. Spıke ¬ 02:37 10-Mar-10

IRC

? -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:02, 10 Mar

Can't at work. Bastards block it. ~ 17:04, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

When's a good time for you? -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:12, 10 Mar

Quite late (my time) probably. When are you up and about today? ~ 17:14, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

LOL. It's 11:20 AM here, I'll be about for at least another 7 1/2 hours. :D -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:20, 10 Mar

Dude, you go to bed at 7 pm? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:30, March 10, 2010 (UTC)

I get off work 7 pm. Then I start drinking. It's a personal policy of mine to not drink and be on the internet. -OptyC Sucks! CUN17:32, 10 Mar

/me politely coughs. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:43, 11 Mar

Gross. What, do you have germs now to go along with your dozens upon dozens of STDs and contagious viruses? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 22:50, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

No, I just thought that's what you're supposed to do when someone grabs your balls. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:51, 11 Mar

I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of your balls in my hand. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 23:04, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

I said *AHEM* -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:35, 11 Mar

Hold on just a second there, I need to check my doctor's manual to find out if lumps are a good thing or a bad thing.... Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 23:42, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

I've been assured that they're perfectly normal and there's no reason at all to suspect my wife of anything untoward. -OptyC Sucks! CUN23:43, 11 Mar

Mortal Sin

Thanks for the feature listing, appreciated. I had fun with this topic, and a few people helped with great suggestions, and now I have to think up something to put on people's talk pages to thank them. Maybe the fadda can return in a couple months to have another adventure. Thanks again. Aleister in Chains 17:44 10 3 year of da lord mmx

My pleasure. ~ 08:46, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Hey jerkwad...

I heard you were thinking about playing Dragon Age. You should do it. I heard a lot of people weren't fans, but I loved it. It was good, plus there were sex scenes. PLUS, that would give us something else to talk about instead of.....umm..... What do we usually talk about again? I feel like it might be cheese cloth. Or Mint Jelly. No, fuck, it wasn't mint jelly. God Damn It! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 22:54, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Sex scenes? Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 23:53, Mar 11 2010 UTC

BOOBIES?! ~ 08:54, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Does this help?

Nominally Humane! some time Thursday, 22:59, Mar 11 2010 UTC

Yep, thanks.~ 23:10, March 11, 2010 (UTC)

Pokemon Game

Just delete fucking everything. You gotta demolish this thing. It is worse than Zork, and I lost the plot already! Just delete it! But keep the title. I'l do an article about it. |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Man on Fire CUN|IC Kill | 08:40, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Link? ~ 08:46, March 12, 2010 (UTC)

Here. It's on VFD, so one way or the other it's getting recycled. An article would be a much better presentation of the subject. --Pleb SYNDROME _{CUN medicate (butt poop!!!!)} 00:19, March 13, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 11th March 2010

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Smiting the nail of news with the plastic hammer of truth

Mar 11th, 2010 • Issue 79 • Making the New York Times look shabby since 2008

Investigative journalist looks in to the cabal; Shocking discovery By PuppyOnTheRadio For years a dreadful mystery has hung over Uncyclopedia. Rumours of a cabal have dogged Uncyclopedia, suggesting that there is a shadowy, mysterious group behind administrative decisions that have guided the hands of Uncyclopedia policy and procedure since the time of it's inception. Many veiled references have been made to this cabal, however until now there has been no real investigative attempts to uncover the shocking truth about the cabal. However, despite this, one plucky rookie journalist has decided that the truth must be free, and an investigation into the cabal has been undertaken. Investigating this it appears that the rumours relating to a cabal have come from numerous sources. In investigating this there were a number of dead ends, including pages that appear to have been deleted with no history. One source has come forward to expose the truth about the cabal. Under threat of repercussion, this source has been asked to be known simply as Deep Throat. Upon interviewing this source the following shocking truth has been discovered! There is no cabal. Any rumours about a supposed cabal are completely untrue. Any suggested sources are in fact fictional and have no veracity behind them. There is no shadowy, mysterious force guiding Uncyclopedia. As I, as a respected journalist, have now been made well aware of the non-existence of this cabal, I am now comfortable to retire my journalistic career. I will shortly be taking a long trip to a very remote location where there is no phone or internet access and will choose to never write again. I may even go to Antarctica. But most importantly, there is not now, nor never has been, a cabal. A useful HowTo? does not compute! By UU Writing UnNews just got a whole lot easier, after UnNews kingpin Zim ulator, Zionist control freak Mordillo and sucker for punishment workhorse SPIKE got together to completely rewrite HowTo:Tune up an UnNews article. Featuring novel ideas (that they got from a novel) such as helpful advice, up-to-date references, and words in the right order, the article is so preposterously useful that it may have to be deleted, as it clearly contravenes Uncyclopedia's mission statement. If there were a Cabal (which, as the above article clearly establishes beyond doubt, there isn't), it would encourage you to read it and never write a bad UnNews again.

Check out these pages! Pruning dead wood MrN's power trip continues, and something about a usergroup Has someone taken the piss? From our logs: 00:09, 10 March 2010 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.47.145.114 (Talk) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I shit on you, you emotionally unstable little twat. Why would you even come here?) 18:33, 9 March 2010 MrN9000 (Talk | contribs) blocked 69.150.243.254 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So... Because you hate the CIA you vandalise the article about them on Uncyclopedia? Good thinking batman. That will stop em! Try again.... Later (obviously)) 09:19, 9 March 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 202.189.75.214 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (you are right: Twilight does suck. however, so does page blanking, which means you yourself are full of as much fail as Twilight. consider that, and then weep.) 22:08, 8 March 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 168.99.135.251 (Talk) with an expiry time of 6 months ‎ (obviously we're not getting through here. Go away and grow a cactus, then sit on it. Repeate step 2 several times. ) Biopic of the Week If this issue of the UnSignpost has reached your talk page, it's very likely to be thanks to the unstinting efforts of paperbot MrN9001. He's been schlepping around this wiki for over a year now, delivering this very slab of journalistic goodness, replacing templates, reverting stuff, making tiny but doubtless vital changes to pages, and generally taking care of all the stuff MrN himself is just too bone idle to do. What the hell would we do without him? Admin answer of the Week Shijiati: Why did you huff my page? Codeine: Because it sucked. Any questions, folks? Horoscope of the Week *Taurus (April 20 - May 20) - You have many great strengths, but taken too far they can become liabilities. For instance, your honesty can become rudeness, your bravery can become foolhardiness, and your taste for human flesh can become criminal cannibalism. For the rest of this week's 'scopes, see here.

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9001(bot)  11:03, Mar 12