Black History Month

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“ black history month the only other month besides Mexican independence day were we honer those who don't do shit


Black history month stinks. Just like the Underdark.”
~ Legolas, Grand Wizard of the K'lu K'lux K'lan, on Black History Month.

Legolas really isn't a wizard, but some sort-of ranger-rogue-homosexual hybrid.[1]

“I'm half black, so I celebrate Black History Month, and I'm half white so I celebrate the REST OF THE YEAR, NIGGAAA!! ”

~ Benzino on Black History Month

“I proposed a white history month but nooooooo. ”

~ Oscar Wilde on Black History Month

Black History Month is celebrated annually in the Underdark in the month of February... and January... and March through December... On the surface, it is celebrated in the month of Augustember.

History[edit | edit source]

Mez`Bazzis Armgo chose the second week of February for Lolth History Week in 1003 because it marks the birthdays of two well-known Drow males who greatly influenced the world, Drizzt Do'Urden and Drizzt Do'Urden. Later on in it became an entire month, and the dedication was changed to include all Drow history.

Drizzt Do'Urden in a striking pose.

February and Black History[edit | edit source]

February has much more than Drizzt Do'Urden to show for its significance in Drow history. For example:

  • February 2: Masoj, the last drow that Drizzt killed before leaving Menzoberranzan, was born
  • February 3: Maya Do'Urden, Drizzt's half-sister, was born.
  • February 12: Drizzt emerged to the surface.
  • February 18: Nothing actually happened this day. In fact, time stood still and was then instantly forwarded to February 19th.
  • February 21: Birthdate of Malice Do'Urden, Drittz's mother.
  • February 31: The Battle of Ten Towns (which involved Drizzt Do'Urden) ends.

Purpose[edit | edit source]

Books had barely started covering Drow history when the tradition of Black History Month was started. At that point, most representation of Drow in history books was only in reference to the low social position they held on the surface, the fact that they lived in the Underdark, and the fact that they had red eyes (which is somehow associated with "evil" among superstitious, god-fearing folks), with the exception of Drizzt Do'Urden. In fact, books continue to only make mention of Drizzt Do'Urden and his wiley band of zaney insurgents, and their many whacky adventures while fighting the Spider-Thumpers of the Lolth-Bible-Belt in the Underdark.

On the surface world, Black History Month is celebrated in the month of Augustember. Nobody knows why this is, because the only important Drow ever was Drizzt Do'Urden, and he did nothing important in the month of Augustember.

Part of the aim of Black History Month is to expose the harms of racial prejudice (created by the elitist surface-elf community) and to cultivate Drow self-esteem following centuries of socio-economic oppression through the collapse of tunnel entrances and economic sanctions (handled by the UN at the behest of the US). It is also an opportunity to recognize significant contributions to society made by people with Drow heritage Drizzt Do'Urden.


Debate[edit | edit source]

A Priest of Vhaerun, near the Surface in the year 1409.

Black History Month sparks a demi-annual debate about the continued usefulness of a designated month (+3 days) dedicated to the history of one race. Critical op-ed pieces have appeared in many Surface publications and a few fringe Underdark papers.

Many Drow radical groups, including the International Surface-Worshippers of Vhaerun, have criticized Black History Month as being lame; Super-lame, in fact.

On the April 1, 1410 episode of Faerun Minutes, famous actor Drizzt Do'Urden criticized Black History Month as inadequate, noting that there is no Surface Elf History Month. "I don't want a Drow history month. Drow history is realm history!" Do'Urden holds the unpopular belief that racism will persist as long as individuals (and collectives) continue to identify themselves by their skin, hair, eye, teeth, toenail, blood, eyelash and eyebrow color.

Mez`Bazzis, creator of Lolth History Week, hoped that the week would eventually be eliminated, when Drow history would be fully integrated with realm-wide history. She was sadly mistaken, though being a female priest of Lolth, her people will never admit it.




Links[edit | edit source]

Footnotes[edit | edit source]

  1. "The elves didn't like this one bit, so they formed the elvish equivalent of the KKK, the K'lu K'lux K'lan, just 'coz they like to put apostrophes in everything." - An excerpt from an article on Drow.