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Carnies are a nomadic people that originated on the steppes of Central Asia. Long known to the West for their seemingly strange customs and frequent wars with Muscovy’s infant Czarist kingdoms (and, later, the Russian Empire), Carnies have been instrumental in both the shaping of world history and the advancement of games based upon throwing balls into or at something from three to six feet away.
Archeological evidence suggests that Carnies originated on the steppes of Central Asia. Like most nomadic peoples, Carnie society depended heavily upon a tribal- or clan-based system. In the case of Carnies, a clan was known as a Carnival, and a group of many Carnivals in one place was known as a County Fair. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... Jared Leto fucked your bf and he totally enjoyed it?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ...that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography?
- ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
- ...that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent
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In the news
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"He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!"
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On this day...
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Today's featured picture
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One of the seven wonders of the pre-feminist movement, the Colossus of Barbie stands as a silent sentinel, ever-watching, over Toydom's "Valley of the Dolls."
In an ode to its majesty, Percy Bysshe Shelley declared:
- That all the world remains, to seem, unchanged,
- Her triumph o'er the rivers, wrath, and range,
- Of her immortal gaze, fixed cold with steel,
- I dare not but apease her wealth with meal.
- But, yet, Man has not seen her to the test;
- What's more, pity I couldn't bugger her like all the rest.
This is evidence that when the monument was built, people were of the belief that God was indeed a woman. Take that, Benedict XVI!
Image credit: Prettiestpretty
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 38,573 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!
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