Uncyclopedia:April Fools/2014

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
41,159 articles in English
FrodoGotDaRing.jpg

The famous Ring Bearer Frodo Baggins of the Shire, is a hobbit who saved Middle Earth. The heroic hobbit never set out to be a hero, or to save anything. But he was talked into it and having a good heart, he agreed with Gandalf's philosophy and being a wizard, Frodo couldn't bring himself to get into a battle of wits with someone much older and much more dramatic. The urgent warnings of doom, dark lords, and horrid creatures consuming all the pumpkin patches, cabbage and tomato gardens and strawberries and cream was enough to send Frodo into unnecessary hysteria. So effective was Gandalf's eccentric performance that Frodo agreed to leave the Shire, embark on a quest to an Elf Lord's secret meeting and then opting to go all the way to Mordor without having a single clue as to where the hell it was. But Frodo became renowned, known as a hard-nosed business hobbit, hell bent on revenge. (Full article...)

Did you know...

Pennylamp2.jpg
  • ... that Pennywise the Clown wants to entertain you? (Pictured)
  • ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting?
  • ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up?
  • ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
  • ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
  • ... that the police are at your door?

In the news

President Nicolas Maduro on board the USS Iwo Jima (cropped).png
Great start to the year!

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate

Recent deaths: Doug DimmadomeZed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob ReinerBowen Yang's tenure on SNLPatrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte BardotCarl Yastrzmski2025 • The MetroCardStranger ThingsKaliVecnaThe Upside DownNew York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys

Not dead: Eleven

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once againWeed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs"

On this day...

YUP, THAT'S SATURN

January 10: It's Saturday Day

Today's featured picture

Falstrop's Amazing Kitten Huffing Device
Early Victorian advances in kitten huffing technology were spearheaded by the notorious kit-head Algernon Falstrop.

Image credit: Sannse
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles edit

More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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