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The Metalheads are an ethno-religious tribe and primitive forerunner of the human race that display heightened levels of aggression, exceptional constitution, narrowmindedness, and a strong affection for loud, violent, evil-sounding, vaguely otherworldly (Brutal) music. They are widely accepted, by most academics, to be the basis for Gods and supernatural deities in all popular religions. While the average Metalhead sees himself as a rock god, the average person sees a woman in bad need of a new wardrobe. However, this dreaded aperture when presented on stage begins to shine like gold in the form of sounds manipulated via surprising mental and physical manual dexterity. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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- ... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)
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In the news
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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)
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On this day...
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July 1: Canada Day in Canada; Canada Awareness Day in Civilized Countries
- 1863 – The Battle of Gettysburg begins. One hundred forty years later, Brooke leaves me, sparking my own personal battle.
- 1867 – The British North America Act takes effect as the Constitution of Canada, creating the Canadian Confederation, and laying down the first widely accepted standard rules of hockey.
- 1890 – Canada and Bermuda are linked by telegraph cable; Canada briefly enjoys participation in the Bermuda Triangle until a lobster severs the connection.
- 1933 – The Canadian Parliament suspends all Chinese immigration; the dreams of countless Chinese youths of playing hockey for a career are sundered.
- 1970 – Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers is honored on Canada Day as the Canadian of the Year.
- 1980 – O Canada officially becomes the national anthem of Canada, replacing Canada Is Pretty Neat, Eh?
- 2020 – The United States invades Canada with the intention of creating the massive new national park "Mooseland". After arriving, however, nothing of any interest was found, and all armed forces were withdrawn from the area.
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,262 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including April Fools/2014!:
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