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Jesus has always been a touchy subject. Not many people want to talk about our Lord and Savior. Some even go so far as to consider it awkward when Jesus is brought up in polite conversation. Due to this inclination to believe that Jesus kills a conversation, many people don't get to know how truly amazing the man who died for our sins really is.
Sure, we all know that Jesus was white, had long flowing hair, a perfectly trimmed beard, and a Californian complexion. That much is obvious from any photograph or painting of Jesus. But what about the smaller details about Jesus that people just ignore nowadays? Maybe if people weren't so quick to slam the door in the face of a religious scholar they would know more facts about Jesus. For instance... (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that Vincent Price is laughing at you from the grave? (Pictured)
- ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
- ... that you actually didn't know?
- ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
- ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
 - ... that a drummer is someone who hangs out with musicians?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that torture is better to give than to receive?
- ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack?
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that Drake the type of dingbat to believe everything he reads on Uncyclopedia?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
 - ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that the largest collection of human bullshit is located in the United States Congress?
- ... that the police are at your door?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ... that you actually didn't know?
- ... that the lawman/outlaw Wild Bill Hickok had one of the most celebrated mustaches in the Wild West?
- ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured)
- ... that you actually didn't know?
- ... that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that you can fry a potato but not a potatoe, according to the Potato-tomato theorem?
- ... that dihydrogen monoxide can kill you, specially if you breathe it?
- ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
- ... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
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In the news
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On this day...
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Today's featured picture
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When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century.
Image credit: Sunsneezer
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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