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The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team.
The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured)
- ... that the "special ingredient" for Wendy's chili is a closely guarded secret? (Pictured)
- ... that telling someone you masturbated to their Facebook picture is frowned upon in society?
- ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die?
- ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
- ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
- ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
- ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
- ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman?
  - ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that 'wax-on, wax-off' doesn't help teach kids karate, but just gets your cars waxed, free of charge?
- ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores?
- ... that there was more then one model for the Mona Lisa? (Pictured)
- ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993?
- ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?
- ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?
- ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
- ... that communist jokes are only funny if everyone gets them?
 - ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
- ... that prune juice is the world's brownest juice, eventually?
- ... that the only cure for the hiccups is an orgasm?
- ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers?
- ... that if you fold your arms and try to touch your feet you look like a complete fucking fool?
- ... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
- ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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Writer and Uncyclopedian of the Month, and Noob of the Moment
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!
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