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Rebecca Black is a living Dadaist masterpiece. Jointly authored by the almost hard-working semi-geniuses at ARK Music Factory, and by Black's proud parents who paid $4000 so she could make a video, Black's cultural satire in pop music featuring the innocence and gullibility of a 13-year-old girl has proven an unnatural success. Black now represents the Los Angeles Dadaist movement, which acts in direct competition with its New York counterpart which is highlighted by the Fountain by Marcel Duchamp and the Late Show with David Letterman. Her "popularization by viral video" of the song Friday starting in mid-March, 2011, marks a rebirth of dadaism and a watershed in human culture. (Full article...)

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... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured)

... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists?
... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!
... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?

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The president of Brazil Olympic Games begin with Lady Gaga at opening ceremony Cocaine sharks now in Brazil Michael Bay working on Skibidi Toilet movie Joe Biden drops out of the presidential election in social media statement Houston now controlled by gangs after Hurricane Beryl Presidential candidate and former president Donald Trump gets shot at rally, rushed offstage Stephen Root warns character actors of impending doom: "You're not safe either, Malcolm McDowell" U.S. President Joe Biden falls asleep on-stage during televised debate with Trump Canadian NHL team once again blows chance to win Stanley Cup. In other news, water is wet. The Kremlin: Vladimir Putin "totally didn't participate in a Pride parade, nothing to see here." Ongoing: Russian Invasion • Drake-Kendrick Lamar feud • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election • Olympic Games Recent deaths: Ruth Westheimer • Richard Simmons • Joe Engel • Shannen Doherty • Lou Dobbs • Bob Newhart Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Market demand for Tesla cars • Drake's sanity • Noam Chomsky • The Sims 5 • Larry • His brother Darryl • His other brother Darryl UNN3W5 – R4DI0 FR33 1UNC\|-\|
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July 27: StarCraft Day (Korea), Nerdery Day (Internetopia) 7 BC – First computer created, using a yard of string, a goat, and three partially eaten kidney beans. 6 BC – The first computer nerd (pictured) fixes a goat/bean compatibility issue on a local goatherd's new computer. 3 BC – A computer nerd/farmer has sex with his goat causing string problems and generating large amounts of upchucked kidney beans, thus creating the first computer virus. 0 BC – A child runs through a field and trips over a string where a vast network of stringed goats are being held. The chain reaction sets off an epidemic of bean-upchucking and goat-kicking that doesn't end until the goats are re-neutered and restringed. 500 – A woman proposes the use of thin strips of silicon to faciliate the use of micro-circuitry, halving computer sizes and doubling their speed. The woman is stoned to death then given a medal after being credited with the discovery of the breast implant. Male suicide rates halved. 666 – Steve Jobs trades his soul to Satan for StarCraft, the first game capable of running on goats tied together with string. He goes on to invent Blizzard. 1000 – The Y1K Bug destroys computers, causing the human race to be enslaved by toasters. Later someone pulls the plug on the toasters and the humans are freed. 1866 – Cyrus Field successfully completes the Atlantic Cable, thus allowing for the largest single transfer of internet porn in history. 1914 – British troops invade the streets of Dublin and demand free wifi. 1979 – Actor Penis Van Lesbian changes his name to the more acceptable Dick Van Dyke. 2003 – English tribute band Two Humps is formed in Nottinghamfordshire-upon-Kent, Surrey, England. 2007 – The finincially ailing Area 51 is forced to open its doors to the public in order to avoid bankruptcy. 2010 – StarCraft II is released to the public. Koreans everywhere rejoice. 2011 – Blizzard denies allegations that a third installment, StarCraft III, is under development. Koreans everywhere grieve. 2036 – StarCraft III is officially confirmed by Blizzard. Koreans everywhere rejoice. 2057 – The Japanese discover how to manufacture immortality out of panties and meth, and subsequently sell it from vending machines. Koreans steal the formula and take over the world. 2135 – StarCraft III is released. Walmart regains control of the world because Koreans are too busy playing it. \/I3W 70M0RR0W – M0R3 4NNI\/3R54RI35...

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Artist representation of the famous Charge of the Chainsaw Brigade, a pivotal moment on the road to victory which demonstrated the wisdom of bringing Canadian lumberjacks into the war.

Image credit: Asahatter
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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