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Jesus has always been a touchy subject. Not many people want to talk about our Lord and Savior. Some even go so far as to consider it awkward when Jesus is brought up in polite conversation. Due to this inclination to believe that Jesus kills a conversation, many people don't get to know how truly amazing the man who died for our sins really is.

Sure, we all know that Jesus was white, had long flowing hair, a perfectly trimmed beard, and a Californian complexion. That much is obvious from any photograph or painting of Jesus. But what about the smaller details about Jesus that people just ignore nowadays? Maybe if people weren't so quick to slam the door in the face of a religious scholar they would know more facts about Jesus. For instance... (Full article...)

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... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)

... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
... that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell?
... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?

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Ukraine wins Eurovision Mark Ruffalo professes love of war (Pictured) "Weird Al" Yankovic's 15th album: All you DIDN'T want to know Nick News: Will Smith banned from Oscars MTG tells cops she does not understand jokes "Weird Al" Yankovic gives the Russian Invasion a serious treatment Fans to SNL: Give n00b more screen time Hollywood has changed its name Albert Pujols returns to St. Louis Cleveland Browns bring in "manly man" Finland is canceling its embarrassing history with Russia Boney M and Dschinghis Khan rewrite Russia-themed hits Covid-positive Earl kills Queen in NBC reboot UnNews remembers Mark Lanegan and some more important stuff Dog bites alien Putin's mum issues apology from afterlife This popular article is restricted due to low creator history Spotify makes another huge mistake The fork is about to invade the spoon Rams bar Bengals from playing in Super Bowl Boney M removes Neil Young cover from Spotify Hundreds of Patients are Stuck in Oregon Hospital Beds Bob Saget writes ultimate dirty joke, dies from shock Weezer makes Death angry Rivers gets promoted by President Biden UnNews' Exclusive Interview with God: Part 3 Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA · COVID-19 Recent deaths: Sam Smith (No, not the singer. Some old basketball player nobody's ever heard of.) Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin UNN3W5 – R4DI0 FR33 1UNC\|-\|
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May 25: National Pork Products Day (Israel) 2403 BC - Moses opens first Piggly Wiggly with the goal of "Bringin' Chitterlings to all my Peeps!" 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia. 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain. 1936 - Hitler starts the Funky Panzer dance craze, which takes Europe by storm. 1942 - Seventh-Day Adventists announces that the end of the world postponed once again due to rain. 2003 - Governments across the globe disband to give public servants much needed break. 2015 - Lin-Manuel Miranda tries beatboxing his way out of buying a Snickers bar at a Los Angeles 7-11, when questioned by police, Miranda claimed he was "young, scrappy and hungry." 2022 - You don't notice an annoying itch hidden behind your subconscious until this sentence reminds you of it. \/I3W 70M0RR0W – M0R3 4NNI\/3R54RI35...

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Although Whoop-Ass is a commonly available weapon (with 12 oz versions legally available to the public) if ever war should break out, the US has 55 gallon drums at their disposal. A single barrel could wipe out the entirety of Cuba. Distributed by Chuck Norris on a regular basis.

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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