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Death of The Author is an essay written originally by Literary Critic, professional mime, Philosopher and frenchman Roland Barthes. In it Barthes stated his view that creating texts is detrimental to health, as every author has, at some point in history, died.

In his autobiography "The Life of Roland Barthes, Great Literary Critic, Philosopher and Lover", Barthes writes that the idea for this text came to his mind while he was reading Twilight, and wishing a horrible death on Stephanie Meyer. He describes this moment as "one of those moments that made me feel as the unique great philosophiser of language things that I am."

He refined his theory while reading The Da Vinci Code, when he was only able to reclaim the will to live by realising that Dan Brown would eventually cease to do so. He observed: "while this theory does seem to carry grave implications for authors such as myself, it does at least make the reading of singularly poor fiction slightly more bearable". (Full article...)

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DID Y0U KN0W...

... that Vladimir Putin's warm and paternal gaze can cure cancer?

... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?
... that nobody can describe what a simile is like?
... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity?
... that doody played a very important role in the development of quantum physics?
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?

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IN 7H3 N3W5
Putin assassinated by Carrie Mathison Tina Turner dies at 83 (Pictured) Sweden wins Eurovision, Loreen becomes first artist to win twice since Johnny Logan Uncyclopedia writers on strike Israel's democracy is saved by new superheroine Proposed Florida bill aims to solve the pronoun problem once and for all California lays plans to automatically issue auto registrations for all voters U.S. Air Force party-poops China's Lunar New Year "celebration" Showtime announces Dexter: Bad Blood Late delivery: Demi Lovato and a hurricane team up to fix a supercomputer by turning it off and then back on Viggo Mortensen joins Next James Bond The movie Casablanca is 80 years old. Here's Looking At You, Kid! President pardons Türkiye Pennsylvania: Should I vote for Mike Doyle or Mike Doyle? People in Los Angeles have another thing to make their lives more miserable Ongoing: Writers Guild of America strike · Russian Invasion · Eurovision · Alected Recent deaths: Rolf Harris · Tina Turner · Iron Sheik · Pat Robertson Upcoming deaths: Twitter · Hollywoo · Steve Harrington · Norman Lear UNN3W5 – R4DI0 FR33 1UNC\|-\|
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June 8: Your Friends are Totally Trying to Kill You Day 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory. 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee. (Pictured) 1798 - North Dakota moves from the south of South Dakota to the north of South Dakota, to better fit its name. 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union after being called a pussy by South Carolina. 1949 - Author George Orwell writes his seminal classic, Nineteen Eighty-Four, thirty-five years two early. 1977 - Kanye West drops a generation-defining EP minutes after being born. 2017 - You read this entry, but you wished you hadn't bothered. \/I3W 70M0RR0W – M0R3 4NNI\/3R54RI35...

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Whack-A-Mao: the national pastime of Taiwan.

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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