Babel:1337

HOLLYWOOD -- People Magazine has revealed the Sexiest Man Dead for 2019... Hollywood icon James Dean. Born February 8, 1931, in Marion Indiana, James Byron Dean became a teen rebel in two Hollywood classics -- East of Eden and Rebel Without a Cause -- before dying in a car crash September 30, 1955, at the age of 24. He released one last movie, the posthumous Giant. Now, nearly 65 years later, Dean is ready for his comeback. He has been announced to star in a 2020 movie about the Vietnam War. "Back in my day, it was impossible for a dead guy to get any work," Dean says. "Now with the futuristic computer whosits and whatsits and gizmos, I can play my old, unzombied self for all eternity. On the flip side, I can forgo computers and do horror movies. I'm talking with Greg Nicotero about guest starring on The Walking Dead." (Full news...) Recently featured: UnNews:James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead Climate change UnBooks:Letters from the end Eritrea Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.3: Warning: No results. Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.3: Warning: No results. DID Y0U KN0W... ... that the history of Great Britain (Pictured) is greater than Frosties? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it? ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?

IN 7H3 N3W5 Hannity to Maddow: Nope, not listening. La la la la la. Hannity scrambles to intervew Levi Parnas (Pictured) Pansexual announces she is Liberal Democrat Black Panther director on Gilliam's Brazil: "WTF?!" Trump tweets: "impeach the pres" Trump impeached, Christmas cancelled Epstein didn't kill himself, says Kotter Democrats blame 50m for voting wrong way in 2016 Eddie Van Halen: Who's Billie Eilish? Dragnet reboot, Black Friday, debuts Friday James Dean named Sexiest Man Dead UnNews will now only write about sports Comcast moves TCM to sports package 0N 7HI5 D4Y... January 16: Anniversary of the Bowel Movement (Djibouti) 9 AD - Something happened to some guy somewhere out there in the world. 1264 - For the first time in human history, a man is born twice. 1920 - The League of Nations not sure what to do with that Hitler fellow, decides to just let it be, he'll fizzle out in a week. 1930 - Mickey Mouse loses his license to Steamboat Willie after being caught transporting eleven illegal immigrants up the Timeless River. Walt Disney distraught. 1942 - Odds are that Hitler (Pictured) did something morally objectionable on this date. 1987 - Something performed by guys with poofy hair and makeup on was the number one song in America. 1983 - The day white people started to like Martin Luther King Jr.

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St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived. Image credit: Isra1337 View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary Statement of faith Baka the Master Builder Baboon John Cena Africa (Toto song) UnReviews:Terminator 6 Fall Out Boy (5 billionth rewrite) Chevy Chase Christmas Jingle All the Way of the Gun (rewrite) Staind Halloween (2018 film) Patti Smith Ali Khamenei Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (retitled rewrite) Art's True Meanings Fear Factory Faith No More How Do You Solve A Problem Like Thomas Becket Bookshelf Tad Queens of the Stone Age The Larry Sanders Show M0R3 R3C3N7 4R7IC135 | M057 W4N73D P4G35 | R3QU3573D R3WRI735 | 4DD 70 57UB5 | 10N31Y P4G35 | P33 R3\/I3W | 7RY WRI7ING 4B0U7... | 57UCK 4R7IC135 N33DING 4 PU5|-| | GR347 ID345

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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