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In mid-2005, Satan had started to publicly question and denounce Tyson's recognition as the "Baddest Man on the Planet." When Tyson learned of this via an interview, Tyson grinned at the camera. Soon after this interview, Tyson challenged Satan to a professional boxing match in order to see "who the baddetht man of the planet really ith." Satan accepted and arranged for the fight to happen in Hell.
For Tyson this fight was for all the marbles: lose, and his soul would be damned to Hell; win, and his soul would be taken into the Kingdom of Heaven. (Full article...)
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DID Y0U KN0W...
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- ... that there's only a slight difference between you and me? (Pictured)
- ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ...that Jimmy Mozzarella is pissing in your closet?
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ... that in Baltimore, Maryland, it is a violation of statute to dress up as a clown and to make fun balloon animals to give to children and molest them with?
- ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
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IN 7H3 N3W5
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"It's for the children's own good!"
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0N 7HI5 D4Y...
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August 4: National Sasquatch Awareness Day (Canada)
- 1753 - George Washington tells a lie. Universe-ending consequences ensue.
- 1794 - At the height of the French Revolution, the common contemporary ailment of Separation Issues was first documented. (pictured)
- 1891 - Oscar Wilde's article The Soul of Man Under Socialism is published in the Fortnightly Review. Wilde's scathing commentary on Socialism is followed up the next fortnight by a scathing treatise on women horse-drawn buggy drivers.
- 1914 - Britain declares war on Germany, thus starting World War I. The United States insists on not getting involved in lovers' quarrels.
- 1924 - Under the leadership of the Teletubbies, the Notre Dame Fighting Irish clinch a perfect 11-0 season with a rousing defeat of rival USC.
- 1924 again - Diplomatic relations between Mexico and the Soviet Union are established. The trade of Tequila for Vodka enjoys brief success, but is later overshadowed by the roaring success of the furry hats and sombreros exchange.
- 1986 - Chernobyl, a pleasantly glowing hamlet located on the beatiful Pripyat River, opens for its first tourist season.
- 1998 - Chuck Norris, an accountant from Delaware, first encounters the term 'roundhouse', which bewilders and confuses him.
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WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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