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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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DID Y0U KN0W...
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- ... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?
- ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets?
- ... that Bruce Lee could juggle two balls with his penis?
- ... that you just lost the Game?
- ... that the square root of 69 is 8 something?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?
- ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)


- ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
- ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
- ... that the Welsh language was created when someone fell asleep on a keyboard?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that I'd rather be a hammer than a nail?
- ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that AMC's hit series Breaking Bad Wind (Pictured) featured the actors' real farts?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
- ... that suicide is an answer to every problem, just not a very good one?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
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IN 7H3 N3W5
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0N 7HI5 D4Y...
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February 22: International Day of Spam
- 1996 - Need money quick? Need money now? Get a Payday Loan today! It's not like you have a choice you poor piece of shit haha.
- 1998 - Got bills you need to pay? Some student loans looming overhead? Donate some plasma to literal blood-sucking capitalists.
- 1999 - There are hot singles in your area! I don't think you can do anything with that information, I just wanted to tell you.
- 2001 - Retro fans! Buy a complete box set of every movie and television series released during the 1980s, only $25,999.99! comes in fourteen trucks.
- 2005 - Buy the last 49,367 Blu-ray discs of Peter Jackson's opus King Kong, I don't know use it as tinsel it's starting to leak chemicals.
- 2011 - Look like your best self, buy our signature collection of foundation and concealer, made from the ground up bones of the long extinct sea cow.
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