Babel:1337

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The People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata (PGRU) is a landlocked African nation with no natural resources, no usable farmland, and no means to support human life in any form. Its population relies entirely on Angelina Jolie for its survival. The country is well known for its literary tradition of moody, existential novels about the neocolonial experience, written by authors who all live in New England.

Under the British Empire, Uukumbamabahalarata was known as The Colony of South Peoria. The British were thrown out in 1968 and, unlike most of the African nations, Uukumbamabahalarata went to hell in a hand-basket within six months. Stability in the region was restored when the Kingdom of Swaziland took over, to make room for their king's stable of wives.

Uukumbamabahalarata gained its independence from Swaziland's bloody regime in April of 1989, following six years of protracted paratrooper-on-paratrooper combat. The Republic's first leader, Etsy-Bodega Imbomahuutuu, embezzled billions of dollars of U.N. relief money meant to help the impoverished nation, and wired it to secret accounts in Switzerland. This was an amazing feat, given that Imbomahuutuu was an illiterate weed farmer whose greatest exposure to technology had been a broken Etch-a-Sketch left in his village years earlier by some passing soldiers. (Full article...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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DID Y0U KN0W...

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  • ... that no, doing this does not make your incompetence any less obvious? (Pictured)
  • ... that there's more to the 9/11 attacks than the conspiracy theorists would have you believe? Like, way more?
  • ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
  • ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
  • ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage?
  • ... that dihydrogen monoxide is a substance found in car exhaust, pesticides, acid rain, and your energy drink?
  • ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"?

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What the hell is going on?

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

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September 14: Struggle Day (Australia) / Gřáťúïťõùš Üšę öf Ðîåçřïťíćãľ Mâřkš Ďàý (Everywhere else)

  • 1234 - The Duke of Umlaut invents the umlaut, becomes first Düke of Ümlaüt. He is later slain in a duel with Barón vön Accént Márk.
  • 1814 - Francis Scott Key writes The Star-Spangled Banner. He later retitles it "The Stär Spänglèd Bäññër" to make it more rockin'.
  • 1969 - Björk is björn in a lönely fjörd in Nörth Ïceláãnd.
  • 1970 - The metal band Blue Öyster Cult is förmed.
  • 1971 - It ís qûïťę a nićē day in Paris. Rioting énsueš.
  • 1975 - The metal band Motörhead förms.
  • 1981 - The metal band Ümlåüt forms.
  • 1982 - Styx plăŷş "Mr. Roboto" for the first time. Pëóplè hate it. Al Gore then gets the ideä to enslave the robot populätion in a fjörd in Østlandet.
  • 1983 - The metal bänd Gřåťüïťöüs Díåçřïtíćäľ Mäřk forms.
  • 1985 - Hâägén-Dáãzs introduces their latest flavor: Döúblé Chérrÿ Crémë dé Chöcølãté Súprëmé. Riöting ensues.
  • 1993 - Peter Cook is ässässinäted by space otters during a performance in the Royal Albert Hall.
  • 2003 - In a referendum, Sweden rejects ädopting the Euro, unless it is renämed the Eüro.
  • 2004 - ä přêśćhööl têäćhěř is sůêd før têłľing a fäiry täłê tø hêr ćläss. Ťhé fäther øf ønê øf ťhé kids säid thát bý têłľíňg fäiřy tälêš, šhě wäs ůńdêrmińińg thêir äthêistic møräl välúês óf løgić äńd rêäśøn.
  • 2005 - The metäl band Thîs Rûňńîñg Jøkê ïs Wêäríñg Öút îtš Wëlcømê forms.
  • 2007 - Some guy has a bit of a struggle.
  • 2008 - Ůñçŷçłöpęđįă.ốřg õffīĉįäłłŷ bêċømêş mőŕē ŗêľïåb+ľē ťĥáŋ Ŵįķīpęďǐã.

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Cthulhu's Vacation
"Hey, guys! Where ya goin'? I'm all packed and... aaaww, shit, there goes the bus."

Image credit: Some user
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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