Babel:1337

Thursday night, the news broke that National Enquirer publisher and former Donald Trump ally David Pecker (hee-hee) was planning to blackmail Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos with pictures of the retail giant's own pecker. That's right, a guy named Pecker wants to expose Jeff Bezos's John Dingell for the whole world to see. (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:David Pecker picked a pic of Bezos's pecker User:Trar/old userpage Passive–aggressive behavior Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.2: Warning: No results. Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.2: Warning: No results. DID Y0U KN0W... ... I could absolutely kill for something to eat right now? (Pictured) ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy? ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman? ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it? ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off? ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders? ... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?

IN 7H3 N3W5 Butts and peckers? Is this the Evening News with Beavis & Butthead? Sir Mix-A-Lot column: Women with big butts smarter, healthier David Pecker picked a pic of Bezos's pecker (Pictured) Theresa May's plan to solve the Brexit backstop enters a new final phase Israeli megastar Netta releases her second single Weird Al Removes R. Kelly parody from streaming Editorial note: Fakelogo template Sesame Street finally realizes it's on HBO Beto O'Rourke puts finishing touches on 2020 Presidential concession speech Roman Catholic Church canonizes Frosty the Snowman as a divine being Studies show clinical depression at an all-time low Trump news roundup: Plea deals, felonies, and a little girl dies in Border Patrol Santa Claus now "probably about a four" on the Kinsey scale Whirlpool Galaxy files restraining order against Neil deGrasse Tyson Jeff Bezos caught stuffing old fat dude into his trunk Trump releases abhorrent holiday stimulus package George H.W. Bush dies: Best and worst of his life Murphy Brown revival not cancelled, (Dan Quayle joke withheld in light of recent events) 0N 7HI5 D4Y... February 19: Alt + F4 Day 1600 - A volcano explodes in Peru. It's a good first line for a limerick, I guess. 1807 - Aaron Burr, former Vice President and guy who shot Alexander Hamilton, is imprisoned for treason; Burr is released following a quadruple rhyming triplet and an emotionally resonant leitmotif allusion. 1846 - The State Government of Texas is officially established in Austin, its first act: Mexican food sold within the state must include at least 200% recommended cheese intake. 1915 - World War I: The first attack on the Ottomans commences as the Australians attack the shoreline with drop bear reinforcements. 1949 - Ezra Pound decides that poetry is the perfect medium for his antisemitism, mostly because Jew can be rhymed with so many other words. 1954 - The Soviet Union transfers Crimea from Russian land to Ukraine, which will cause absolutely no problems in future.

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Apple pie chart (history, logs) Featured picture candidate The apple pie chart: A winning presentation. Image credit: Okochama Archive - Discuss this image Vote Score: 10 Nomination: For Votes: 19 For. 75% -the evidence speaks for itself --Whywhywhy 16:06, 5 Dec 2005 (UTC) For I like how the crumbs are left behind in the tin. --Mosquitopsu 17:08, 5 Dec 2005 (UTC) For I made this pic for the Delicious charts article, though i didn't nominate it myself. Cheers to who did. I also ate about 25% of it :p --Okochama 21:57, 5 Dec 2005 (UTC) For The picture simply and effectively provides me with a hilarious mental image of a board meeting where a guy who has just stuffed his face with 75% of pie is explaining its deliciousness quotient. --Quilty 01:52, 6 Dec 2005 (UTC) For Hey, it's pretty much great. 'Nuff said. --Oracleoftruth 03:35, 6 Dec 2005 (UTC) For I can't think of anything else to say. --T.W. North For --Isra1337 08:20, 8 Dec 2005 (UTC) Conditional For. Add Apple Pie Chart to the caption. Acid Ammo 03:14, 9 Dec 2005 (UTC) Done and done. And for --Sir Carlos the Mean CUN VFP CS CM CUNT (talk) 03:10, 17 Dec 2005 (UTC) For Yeah. I'm at a loss for words. CX06:19, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC) For --Paulgb 21:44, 16 Dec 2005 (UTC) For. Perfect for those long, financial organization meetings! -JBob 19:46, 17 Dec 2005 (UTC) Bradaphraser Uncyclopedian anon32 LinkTGF Ianweller Marco Raimey Feureau Against Votes: 9 Against Eh, it's sort of plain. --—rc (t) 02:51, 19 Dec 2005 (UTC) Dawg Todd_Lyons Ghelae LeoFed MoneySign §ǚρωξλ£μĦΦφ≈€ƏξßÐÆØΞ Cs1987 Against; I'm not sure why I haven't already voted against this...but yeah, I don't like it and never did. -- Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 16:01, 22 August 2008 (UTC) Comments Featured --—rc (t) 07:15, 19 Dec 2005 (UTC)

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Lincoln Logs Brexit Where Is Everybody? UnTunes:Animal (with actual animals) Avi Toledano Eli Roth Film (remake) African American Worst 100 Reflections on 2018 Ray Charles Bernardo Butterlucci Urban Dictionary Statement of faith Baka the Master Builder Baboon John Cena Africa (Toto song) UnReviews:Terminator 6 Fall Out Boy (5 billionth rewrite) Chevy Chase Christmas Jingle All the Way of the Gun (rewrite) Staind Halloween (2018 film) Patti Smith Ali Khamenei Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (retitled rewrite) Art's True Meanings Fear Factory Faith No More How Do You Solve A Problem Like Thomas Becket Bookshelf Tad Queens of the Stone Age The Larry Sanders Show M0R3 R3C3N7 4R7IC135 | M057 W4N73D P4G35 | R3QU3573D R3WRI735 | 4DD 70 57UB5 | 10N31Y P4G35 | P33 R3\/I3W | 7RY WRI7ING 4B0U7... | 57UCK 4R7IC135 N33DING 4 PU5|-| | GR347 ID345

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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