Babel:1337

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James Dean Sexiest Man Dead.png

HOLLYWOOD -- People Magazine has revealed the Sexiest Man Dead for 2019... Hollywood icon James Dean. Born February 8, 1931, in Marion Indiana, James Byron Dean became a teen rebel in two Hollywood classics -- East of Eden and Rebel Without a Cause -- before dying in a car crash September 30, 1955, at the age of 24. He released one last movie, the posthumous Giant.

Now, nearly 65 years later, Dean is ready for his comeback. He has been announced to star in a 2020 movie about the Vietnam War. "Back in my day, it was impossible for a dead guy to get any work," Dean says. "Now with the futuristic computer whosits and whatsits and gizmos, I can play my old, unzombied self for all eternity. On the flip side, I can forgo computers and do horror movies. I'm talking with Greg Nicotero about guest starring on The Walking Dead." (Full news...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

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Extension:DynamicPageList (DPL), version 3.3.3: Warning: No results.

DID Y0U KN0W...

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  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?
  • ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
  • ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
  • ... that water is bad for your health because fish have sex in it?
  • ... that 90% of all video game high scores are set by one guy called "AAA"?

IN 7H3 N3W5

Hannity scrambles to interview Levi Parnas
Hannity to Maddow: Nope, not listening. La la la la la.

0N 7HI5 D4Y...

Adolf Hitler doing something naughty. Probably.

January 16: Anniversary of the Bowel Movement (Djibouti)

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Darwin and St. Michael
St. Michael the Archangel attempts to slay Charles Darwin to prevent him from revealing Michael's horrible secret. Darwin, belonging to the fitter of the species, survived.

Image credit: Isra1337
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

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Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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Potatohead aqua.png Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the front page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
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