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The Tour de France is a mythical cycling race which takes place in a gorgeous, endearing, and alcoholic-filled nation called France. It is one of the biggest sporting events in the world, rivalling the Superbowl and the Timbuktu Camelshoe throwing contest. It is said to be the supreme test of human endurance and grit, and the most gruelling cycling event in the world, despite the fact that the Vuelta a Espana and the Tour of Grabashloyshka are just as hard.
The first Tour was held in 342 BC and was raced on horse carriages. It was named the Tour de Gaul and was won by a youth named Asterix, who was heavily suspected of underhand magic. His personal druid Michelix Ferrarix had a sulphurous reputation on the matters of performance enhancing potions and bad haircuts. After a horse strike and the inevitable elephant stint, the race was finally run on actual bicycles in 1903 and won by French plumber Maurice Garin. Garin was distinctive for being a very hard man on his bike, not striking and looking as pale as death on all his photographs. (Full article...)
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- ... that the man on the left is admiring the bare torso of the man on the right in a purely non-sexual manner? (Pictured)
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Gina Lollobrigida 1927 – 2023
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A great disturbance was recorded in the historical community today when what appeared to be a preliminary version of the Michelangelan Fresco that decorates the Sistine Chapel was found spraypainted on a remote alleyway in Rome. Notable historians whatsisname and thatguy said it was due to Michelangelo's intense desire to be accepted into the Renaissance art movement, which they say "required a fair amount of street cred."
Image credit: Zombiebaron View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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