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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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| *... That Hanukkah is the festivle of lights, and has been celebrated by kids for the same reason for several thousand years?
|
- ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
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- ... that I'm better than this person in particular?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
- ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
|
- ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
|
- ... that I'm better than this person in particular?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
- ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
|
- ... that this topless woman is clearly unhappy about her situation? (Pictured)
- ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
- ... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
- ... that Ann Coulter is a highly successful parody of right-wing political rhetoric?
- ... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
- ... that two peanuts were walking down a street and one was a salted?
|
- ... that I'm better than this person in particular?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car?
- ... that Stan Lee originally conceived the X-Men as a group of post-op transgenders?
- ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
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In the news
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On this day...
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