User:THEDUDEMAN/Babel:Hanukkah

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Analog horror (Horrori internetus analogus) is an invasive species that have infested the realms of the interwebs, especially in the deserted landscape known as YouTube. Some traits that these species share include horrible visual effects, some dumb storyline of someone recording a video then dying for no reason, stretched out faces, and absurd amounts of static. It is an incredibly dangerous species and it is highly advised to not walk near it, as immediate contact with it can lead to severe health issues such as boredom and, in the worst of cases, cringe. (Full article...) Recently featured: Boston Analog horror Admiral Ackbar Everyone is Hitler Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... That Hanukkah is the festivle of lights, and has been celebrated by kids for the same reason for several thousand years? *...that Ram Ranch really rocks? *... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? *...that Ram Ranch really rocks? *... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time? *...that Ram Ranch really rocks? *... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?	In the news "It's for the children's own good!" Uncylopedia introduces AI Age Guesser™, petition nears 100,000 signatures Trump fires Zakk Wylde Trump sends condolences to "Ozzie Nelson," "Paul Hogan," "Luigi Mangione" Epstein list predictions Starmer bans pornography nationwide (Pictured) Starmer to ban VPNs nationwide Ozzy Osbourne remembers Uncyclopedia Obama to Democrats: "toughen up, you fucking pussies!" Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Lawyer is unable to remember what the trial is about, defendant is convicted of burglary Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Superman and Super Dog's movie doing surprisingly well • Israel/Iran and Russia/Ukraine "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) Recent deaths: Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Bill Cosby's TV son • Bryan Kohberger's freedom • Ozzy Osbourne • Chuck Mangione • Hulk Hogan • Resident Alien • Down syndrome • Tom Lehrer • The system • FUBAR Upcoming deaths: DEI • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game • MAGA • Joe Biden's credibility • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Bryan Kohberger, at the hands of his fellow inmates On this day... August 14: Brutal dictator appreciation day (Saudi Arabia & Jacksonville, FL) Long time ago - Emperor takes over the galaxy in Star Wars (TM) 1844 - Toast is invented 1855 - Following the war of a thousand toasters, the recipe for toast is lost for over 5000 years. 1856 - Toast is rediscovered. 1857 - Toast is forgotten. 1880 - Cologne Cathedral in Cologne, Germany, is completed. It smells great! 1923 - Start of the Dotcom Era. 1987 - A young explorer named Wally is reported missing. 2001 - George W. Bush is "elected" by his daddys friends to be president of the United States. 2005 - Ego is discovered to be, in fact, a dirty word. 2006 - Horizontal Line is discovered in your pants. 2007 - Vertical line is discovered in the inside of your pants. 2007 - Hitler is finally mentioned in Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day. Took long enough. 2008 - The first "sort of" black dictator introduced into the history of the US. People take to the streets with high hopes of a kinder, gentler dictator. 2009 - Nut and penis implants are invented 2010 - Nut and penis implants found to cause cancer. Some 1.3 million white gangstas are affected. 2012 - Dick Cheney dies because his cold blackened void of a heart fails. The world is finally safe. 3012- 1000th "Screw Dick Cheney" Day cancelled by Undead Bush
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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