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Platinum is an extremely expensive, yet highly ordinary metal. It is essentially one of over ninety silverly metals. Gold and Copper, the colorful ones, are the envy of Platinum to no end. Then why is it so expensive? Because Platinum is literally the most anti-social metal ever. It refuses to react with anything, even Halogens, and almost every single acid known to science can not even stain it. One thing that can react with it is Aqua Regia, meaning royal water. It is arrogantly so named because it can react with the kings of metals Gold and Platinum. Talk about ego! Platinum is commonly used by people in high grade laboratory equipment and in jewelry for people who consider themselves too posh to use common gold jewelry. It can also be found residing in the Earth's crust at a concentration of roughly one part per billion. Platinum is the 78th element of the periodic table, it is derived from the Latin word "Platina" which literally means "Little silver", despite costing roughly 60 times more than silver. (Full article...) Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion, featured on 13 February 2025: Featured version Ed Sheeran, featured on 15 February 2023: Featured version Did you know... *... That Hanukkah is the festivle of lights, and has been celebrated by kids for the same reason for several thousand years? *... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? *... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth? *... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? *... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth? *... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death? *... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?	In the news 1977-2026 So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • Seattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day Recent deaths: Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again On this day... February 15: It Just Got Out Of Hand Day 1203 - Genghis Khan loses his temper after losing a mud wrestling match; invades China. 1655 - Henry Morgan sacks Panama for England, after Spanish children steal novelty codpiece from Oliver Cromwell. 1862 - Ulysses S. Grant attacks Fort Donelson, Tennessee, in retribution for early morning theft of Union toilet paper. 1925 - Adolf Hitler writes his fiction novel Mein Kampf. It is interpreted as non-fiction. 1933 - Attempted assassination of President-elect Franklin Delano Roosevelt after a particularly sweaty handshake during the campaign. 1989 - The Soviet Union leaves Afghanistan, realising that the whole thing just got out of hand. 1997 - Starbucks tries a little too hard to out-do everyone else. 2008 - People don't seem to appreciate your attitude towards my potato chip situation. (Pictured) 2021 - Global warming causes state-wide power outage in Texas; Ted Cruz and family evacuate to Cancún.
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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