User:THEDUDEMAN/Babel:Hanukkah

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Mario Kart is a CIA-assisted conspiracy project driving simulator franchise developed by the power-hungry Japanese corporation-from-hell known as Nintendo. It has went on to become one of the company's best-selling franchises since its beginning in God-knows-when. Various characters from Nintendo's Super Mario franchise are placed into a massive friendship-destroying hellhole to drive go-carts and annihilate each other with various weapons of mass destruction. While its well-known origins as a coordinated attempt by the paranoid American Central Intelligence Agency to sever bonds between youth in order to reduce the possibilities of juvenile uprisings around the U.S.A. (and the rest of the world) still have influence over the development of modern Mario Kart games, the main driving force nowadays is Nintendo's endless lust and greed. (Full article...) Recently featured: Presidential Wrestling Classic HowTo:Eat an orange UnNews:A dingo ate my baby Morning Archive · Vote for featured articles · Featured today, a long long time ago United States v. Cthulhu, featured on 10 November 2024: Featured version Did you know... *... That Hanukkah is the festivle of lights, and has been celebrated by kids for the same reason for several thousand years? *... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool? *... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank? *... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool? *... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank? *... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool? *... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?	In the news Free bus passes and shawarma for everyone! Until the money runs out.. United Kingdom sends Royal Airforce “specialists” to Belgium to fight Russian drones “invading” airports A new candidate enters the upcoming 2028 presidential race US government shitdown inundates over 1000 flights with shit Democrats finally cave and end the shitdown New York City goes full Commie, elects Zohran Mamdani as mayor (Pictured) Los Angeles Dodgers win World Series with lucky bullshit, become the Kansas City Chiefs of baseball Dingo eats a woman's baby Interview: A Brief Chat About Uncyclopedia with Uncyclopedian and Lucky star. Indy police: former NFL quarterback Mark Sanchez literally butt-fumbles in real life Trump receives COVID vaccine despite supporters making their entire personalities being against it for years The US government shits itself Starmer unveils new digital ID cards to help further monitor citizens' pornography intake BoJo and Co. politely ask Nigel Farage to stop lifting children Omaha man's order of salmon sliders indistinguishable from salmon burgers Charlie Kirk gets l+ratio'd during a speech in Utah Sheeranism officially legalised in Yankeeland Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Republicans and rich people fleeing NYC Recent deaths: Charlie Kirk • Robert Redford • Jane Goodall • Diane Keaton • Gaza War • Drew Struzan • Windows 10 • D'Angelo • YouTube player's old design • A guitarist and a security guard from KISS • June Lockhart • Nick Mangold • Jamaica, at the hands of Hurricane Melissa • Toronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna Godchaux • Diane Ladd • Dick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career • Coral reefs • The economy of Capitalism in NYC • Bills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing to the Miami Dolphins On this day... November 11: First World War Appreciation Day (Commonwealth States) 1911 - After four bloody years of battle, the first World War finally comes to an end on November 11, 1911, at twelve minutes past eleven o'clock. FDR took too long in signing the papers and spoiled the symmetry. 1914 - Archduke Franz Ferdinand is assassinated in Bosnia. His final words were: "I know I won't be leaving here (with you)." While people are still wondering what the hell he meant, War is declared against France. 1914 12:15pm - France surrenders. 1918, 13:51pm - France claims its total surrender was a tactical ploy to draw the enemy onto their battlefield of choice. 1918, 13:52pm - Whole world laughs at France for being undeniable pussies.
Featured picture The Klan's Halloween cross burnings are fun for the whole family! Image credit: Zombiebaron View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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