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Reformed Orthodox Rabbi William "Bill" Clinton (born August 19, 1946) is an American politician, former childcare worker, former amateur saxophonist, and swingin' bachelor. As the 42nd President of the United States, and the horniest man to hold that position since JFK, he led America through the economic golden age of the '90s.
Clinton is famous for being the first president to institute the Opposite Presidential Term, in which everything he said during his second term is the exact opposite of what he said in his first term. In his first term, he was a Liberal, but in his second term, he was a Neocon; that was his way of bringing about change.
Clinton's term in office was marred by economic and political reform. The most serious was some bitch named Hillary, who kept insisting she was his wife and had actually slept with him. This was widely ignored by everyone until it was revealed that Bill had been secretly cheating on the First Lady with Hillary, in a perverse affair that culminated in a media frenzy. (Full article...)
Featured today, a long long time ago
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Did you know...
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| *... That Hanukkah is the festivle of lights, and has been celebrated by kids for the same reason for several thousand years?
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- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... the muffin man?
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- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
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- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... the muffin man?
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- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
|
- ... that the Kingfisher does not dine exclusively on kings, but also hunts queens, emperors, princes, dukes, viceroys and any other high-ranking members of the nobility?
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... the muffin man?
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- ... that this is why we can't have nice things?
- ... that the amount of cats in the area is directly proportionate to the distance from the Hot Dog factory?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
- ... that your boss is behind you watching you waste time?
- ...Funkytown was a Scientology commune in the 60s?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
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In the news
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Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd.
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On this day...
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