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Welcome to Crayzeeopedia, the content-free encyclopedia that only Some crazy guy should edit. 41,135 articles in English

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Today's featured article Have you, dear reader, found yourself chained to an aging confectionery monstrosity, its pipes wheezing, its vats bubbling ominously, its accountants sobbing quietly in the walls? Has a government man (always beige! always damp!) slid a letter under your door explaining that thirty percent of your life’s work now belongs to them? Thirty percent! That’s not a tax, that’s getting bent over and done up your rear! *tips hat, snaps cane against the floor* Fear not. Willy Wonker is here. And I assure you, I have handled this exact situation with the grace of a ballerina and the ethics of a feral raccoon. (Full article...) Recently featured: HowTo:Commit Tax Fraud by Giving Away Your Chocolate Factory Antipasta The Finals Fuck Around and Find Out Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... that Some crazy guy is still trying to figure this out? that Bacon Bacon Bacon? that I love you? that I actually hate you? that Uncyclopedia is not funny, but is really Bacon Bacon Bacon Bacon? that too many unfunny Bacon gags can Bacon Bacon Bacon cause SEHS?	In the news Don't ask what any of this has to do with Christmas. UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday (Pictured) Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Russian ship shines annoying red laser pointer at British planes Ron DeSantis passes Florida bill allowing seniors to hunt zoomers for their skin and organs Russian economy on life support after barely growing in 3rd quarter The UK to ban the resale of tickets Bill passed in Pennsylvania to legalise flying cars because why the fuck not? Trump kills the penny after realizing spending four cents on a one cent coin doesn’t "make cents" Russian AI powered humanoid robot faceplants on stage in front of crowd Syrian National Museum gets robbed of six to seven Roman statues Cloudy windy Hurricane Melissa hits da Jamaica, mon! BOMBOCLAAT! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Indianapolis Colts dragging an old man out of retirement • Ravens fans hiding in a corner after yet another choke Recent deaths: The penny • Udo Kier • Jimmy Cliff • Warner Bros. • Sheen Estevez • Chet Ubetcha • Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs' season • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Dallas Cowboys' season • Patrick Mahomes' backup's ACL Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song Contest • DEI • Iran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBC • Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Indianapolis Colts' and Baltimore Ravens' seasons • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard • Dick van Dyke, eventually • 2025 On this day... December 26 Give Some crazy guy awards Day/Shameless Vanity Day: Goggles will be useless at the malls, for they do nothing. 1799 - Woody Guthrie was seen at the mall with his guitar. 1812 - Famed time traveller Woody Harrelson goes back in time to bring the idea of the mall to the past. 1940 - Joseph Stalin is caught with a woody at the mall. Later that evening, twelve million peasants are killed. 1955 - Carmen Miranda dies; shares of United Fruit decline 20% in heavy trading. 1965 - JFK gets assaninated again, grassy knoll charged. 1979 - First recorded instance of mass-woodying by all the men attending the opening of Britain's first shopping mall. 1980 - Woody Allen appears mysteriously at Detroit strip mall, is disappointed to find that the Big Boy doesn't offer kosher meals; he then proceeds to the Asian section of the food court. 1998 - Woody from Toy Story is said to be at the mall. 2000 - woody woodpecker seen at mall 2000 - Academy Award winning actor Sir Alec Guiness dies at the age of 86. Or at least, it is assumed he died, since all that is found is an empty robe and a lightsaber. 2006 - Cape Breton invades Uncyclopedia.
Today's featured picture You know what they say, "You can't shit a shitter". But M.C. Escher will be damned if he didn't try! Image credit: KneeChee27 View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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