User:Modusoperandi/Babel:Obama

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The content-free encyclopedia that anyone can hope to change
39,687 articles that look with hope to the future of change

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Welcome to Obamapedia

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Obamapedia has over 23,000 hope-filled, future-looking, change-centric entries, overseen by Obama's radiant smile and relentlessly positive outlook. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 4 reversions of Bush-era edits, 1,400 edits that did virtually nothing at all, 26,280 edits that caved into the Republicans and 42,800 more edit showcasing Democratic Party spinelessness and disarray...and then Obama speaks and you're suddenly in love all over again. *Swoon*

Daily Obama quote:

"A moonbeam in every pot and a unicorn in every garage."

Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the not hopeful enough Happypedia here.

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War is a term used to describe what happens when two opposing forces want either the same thing or contradicting things, thus leading to tons of shit blowing up. War is also one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, along with Elmer Layden, Jim Crowley, and Harry Stuhldreher (or maybe that's something else). Anyway, many people consider war to be evil and unnecessary, yet when the pros and cons are analyzed this claim falls flat.

First of all, as more and more soldiers go off to fight whoever the enemy might be for the moment, they leave their jobs behind – and that means more jobs for you! Let's say that the salesman in the cubicle next to you with the $2,000 monthly salary leaves work to go fight the Arabs in Afghanistan. Suddenly, you're sitting in that cubicle making $2,000 a month! Not to mention that the war industry will provide you with employment if you get fired. Or, if you want to be righteous, you could go fight in the war yourself. (Most armies offer a pretty damn good dental plan.) (Full article...)

In the news

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Eh?

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and DeltaruneEurovisionRussian InvasionIsrael-Palestine conflictDOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft MovieTrump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers

Recent deaths: Kurt from Good BurgerGeorge Foreman23andMeBruce GloverRichard ChamberlainRoger Daltrey's eyes and earsVal KilmerYoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401KJay North • The 1-game "playoff runs" of the mid-tier NBA teams • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis

Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi MangioneKate MiddletonLaura PalmerDEIGawr GuraGoogle's ad monopoly

On this day...

I'm not fat, I'm just big boned!

April 25: National Obesity Appreciation Day (United States)

  • 900 - A horde of plus-sized Vikings raid the east coast of Britain and set up a new IKEA, selling meatballs and lingonberry sauce to all.
  • 1847 - The last survivors of the Donner Party are out of the wilderness. Shortly thereafter, the first McDonners restaurant opens. First item on the menu: McRib.
  • 1859 - Ground is broken for the Suez Canal. Israelis and Egyptians immediately begin fighting over who owns the hole.
  • 1915 - Australians invade Turkey, but couldn't get past the smell of street kebab.
  • 2016 - The International Federation of Dentists cancel all appointments for the month of August until Americans learn to floss.
  • 2050 - Scientists finally discover the exact biological mechanism behind "sympathy weight gain," leading to widespread marital bliss and the invention of self-expanding wedding rings.
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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