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Obamapedia has over 23,000 hope-filled, future-looking, change-centric entries, overseen by Obama's radiant smile and relentlessly positive outlook. There have been over 11,600,000 page views and over 172,000 page edits, including 4 reversions of Bush-era edits, 1,400 edits that did virtually nothing at all, 26,280 edits that caved into the Republicans and 42,800 more edit showcasing Democratic Party spinelessness and disarray...and then Obama speaks and you're suddenly in love all over again. *Swoon*
Daily Obama quote:
"A moonbeam in every pot and a unicorn in every garage."
Please read our rules here, and how we differ from the not hopeful enough Happypedia here.
The People's Republic of China is a pivotal support mechanism for the retail industry worldwide, although some believe they may have their own agenda.
China is populated by perhaps the most resourceful hardworking people on Earth, yet despite some of the strictest social engineering known to man, the Chinese still hog all the best quality crab legs in the buffet rather than waiting in an orderly line. Chinese moms force their babies to play violin until their fingers bleed; the dumb ones learn viola instead. Also, they put a fuck-ton of MSG in their food, which is actually pretty tasty.
Everything was invented in China, including gunpowder, paper, the compass, opium, pandas, panda-huffing devices, avian flu, SARS, bat recipes, COVID-19, USA's debt, Amazon Prime and CCTV; you name it, they invented it before anyone else. They also invented rhino horn aphrodisiac powder, Confucianism (a severely autistic, highly regimented version of Filial Piety), kidney harvesting and the Wu Tang Clan. While they didn't invent babies, they do mass produce them deep inside the VaChina. Bada bing! The male babies are then sent to work producing industrial glycine, and the female ones are sent to the streaming mines to post pirated clips of TV shows, except the captions are wrong and the video gets horizontally flipped every 2.7 seconds. (Full article...)
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In the news
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On this day...
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November 16: Feast of Saint Bukkake (Japan)
- 1776 - American Revolutionary War: Hessian mercenaries capture Fort Washington from the Patriots. Startled revolutionaries say, "what the fuck is a Hessian"?
- 1960 - Clark Gable passes away. Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
- 2001 - Elmo (pictured) goes on a killing spree, attacking and consuming 23 children attending a Sesame Street convention.
- 2005 - The annual banquet the Feast of Saint Bukkake was cut short after the star of the feast declared "I'm full"!
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.
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