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Today's Featured Article WASHINGTON DC, USA -- As part of his transition to the White House, newly elected president Barack Obama has had a number of difficult decisions to make. One of the decisions Obama has faced is the type of furniture to buy for his new home. In past administrations, the selection of presidential furniture has not received much media scrutiny, probably because it's a rather trivial thing to write a news report about. But Obama's choices of furniture have been closely reported on since his November election to the Presidency. Obama took several weeks to decide on what type of cabinet to buy for a small dining room off the oval office. He considered several choices, including a mahogany display cabinet, perfect for displaying small figurines and dolls, and a kitchen cabinet that would have stored spices magnificently. In the end, he decided on the same cabinet in which Bill Clinton stored the disembodied brains of his political opponents during HIS presidency. (Full article...) Recently featured: This page does NOT exist Bubbles the Clown Nevermind Trump vs. Biden Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you? ...that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you? ...that Uncyclopedia regularly kills its editors mid-sent ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?	In the news Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom... and Hunter (Pictured) President-elect turkey pardons himself Trump gets away with January 6th Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix boxing match Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon! Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... only for him to pull out Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA Obama smears poop on daycare Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs" Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance" Recent deaths: The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet • Democrat party • Tony Todd • The Chicago Bears' and Cincinnati Bengals' seasons • Boxing • The American criminal justice system Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Alabama football's championship chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay • Joe Biden • Donald Trump On this day... AAAAAAAA A: AAAAAAAAA! AAA AAAA - AAA AAAAAAA AAAAA AA AAAAAAA AA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA AAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA AAA AAAA - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA. AAA AAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA AAA AAA. AAAA - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAA A AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAA, A AAAAAAA AAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAA - AA. A AAAAAA AAA AAA; AAAA AAAAAA AAAAAA A AAAA AAAAAA. AAAA - AAAA AAAAAAA AAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAA.
Today's featured picture Popular Al Jazeera reality series "Jihad My Ride" features, among other Muslim celebrities, Mahmoud "I-Wanna-Jihad" Ahmadinejad taking normal automobiles and making them "The Bomb". Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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