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Today's Featured Article The famous Ring Bearer Frodo Baggins of the Shire, is a hobbit who saved Middle Earth. The heroic hobbit never set out to be a hero, or to save anything. But he was talked into it and having a good heart, he agreed with Gandalf's philosophy and being a wizard, Frodo couldn't bring himself to get into a battle of wits with someone much older and much more dramatic. The urgent warnings of doom, dark lords, and horrid creatures consuming all the pumpkin patches, cabbage and tomato gardens and strawberries and cream was enough to send Frodo into unnecessary hysteria. So effective was Gandalf's eccentric performance that Frodo agreed to leave the Shire, embark on a quest to an Elf Lord's secret meeting and then opting to go all the way to Mordor without having a single clue as to where the hell it was. But Frodo became renowned, known as a hard-nosed business hobbit, hell bent on revenge. (Full article...) Recently featured: Frodo Baggins I love you brah Holmium HowTo:Commit Tax Fraud by Giving Away Your Chocolate Factory Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass? ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass? ... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave? ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?	In the news Great start to the year! Trump given yet another Nobel Peace Prize for ending war he started 3 hours ago (Pictured) Kansas City Chiefs impulsively fire Missouri as home state, moving to actual Kansas after missing playoffs UnNews wishes to all users a merry December Holiday Dick Van Dyke is 100, bitches! ICE spotted stealing everyone's ice cream in America North Sentinelese discover fire, accidentally burn down entire island Elon Musk: "Cancel Netflix! I don't care if Max wakes up." 6 or 7 buildings burn in Hong Kong Labour approval hits record low during Starmer premiership, PM resorts to "getting down with the youth" The New York Yankees now fucking suck Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Rich New Yorkers fleeing Mamdanistan • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Baltimore Ravens fans shitting themselves after both their teams choked big-time • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Venezuelans unsure whether to freak out or celebrate Recent deaths: Doug Dimmadome • Zed's dead, baby (He was also the bad guy in The Mask) • Animal Farm • Kansas City Chiefs', Dallas Cowboys', Detroit Lions', Indianapolis Colts', Buccaneers' and Ravens' seasons • Rob Reiner • Bowen Yang's tenure on SNL • Patrick Mahomes' and his backup's ACLs • Brigitte Bardot • Carl Yastrzmski • 2025 • The MetroCard • Stranger Things • Kali • Vecna • The Upside Down • New York Rangers' fans livers and kidneys Not dead: Eleven Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • The Pittsburgh Steelers' fucking up once again • Weed • 67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • The Sabres actually being good? • Ravens' kicker • Dancin' Maduro • The Kansas City "Chiefs" On this day... January 10: It's Saturday Day 49 BC - Julius Caesar crosses the Rubicon, he tries to turn back but the ferry is out of service on Fridays. 1776 - Thomas Paine publishes the pamphlet Common Sense, arguing that anyone who disagrees with American Independence should be institutionalized. 1810 - Napoleon Bonaparte and Empress Joséphine separate, she takes Prussia and half of France in the divorce. 1920 - World War I officially ends after Germany signs an affidavit promising "not to do this sort of thing" ever again. 1977 - Pac-Man is admitted to rehab due to a debilitating white pellet addiction. 1979 - Disco dies of a cocaine overdose, grunge soon to follow. 2015 - A funeral in Maine ends in tragedy as body is accidentally lowered into an open sewer.
Today's featured picture Exodus 32: 15 And Wilde turned, and went down from the mount, and the two tables of the testimony were in his hand: the tables were written on both their sides; on the one side and on the other were they written. 16 And the tables were the work of God, and the writing was the writing of God, graven upon the tables. Image credit: Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron. View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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