Today's Featured Article
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Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them.
Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
 - ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... that nobody asked?
- ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
 - ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that paper beats rock, but guns beat everything?
- ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... that nobody asked?
- ... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
- ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
- ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
- ... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
- ... that the road to hell is identical to the stairs to heaven, but with elevator music and traffic?
- ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 26: Fast Food Day (U.S.)
- 1845 - Fast food, then called fasting from food, is invented in Ireland: millions starve due to new trend.
- 1940 - First McDonald's restaurant opens in San Bernardino, California, life expectancy drops to levels unseen since the Civil War.
- 1965 - Fox in Socks, the first depiction of a modern-day rap battle, is published by Dr. Seuss.
- 1994 - After complaints from vegans, McDonald's switches from beef fat to vegetable oil for their fries, vegans celebrate, give money to company that kills millions of cows.
- 1997 - Someone orders an iced coffee from Starbucks, destroys the economies of three South American countries.
- 2011 - McDonald's attempts to make Happy Meals healthier, billions of apple slices rot inside their teeny plastic bags.
- 2016 - New FCC regulations on misleading advertising forces Carl's Jr. to release new 30 second ad of a fat man crying, alone.
- 2018 - Wendy's delivers epic clapback against dumb bitch on twitter with sesame seed allergy.
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