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Today's Featured Article Albert Arnold "Al" Gore, Jr. (allegedly born March 31, 1948) is purported to be a prominent liberal spokesperson for and inventor of global warming and environmentalism. He is portrayed by the liberal media as an author, a businessperson, former journalist, inventor of the algorithm, and recipient of a scientific prize. According to Wikipedia, Gore has served as United States Vice President, Senator, and Representative, and has also served as a military journalist during the Vietnam War. However, despite efforts by the liberal media to prove otherwise, there is no completely irrefutable evidence that Al Gore exists. (Full article...) Recently featured: Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured) ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you? ... that I am inside your walls? ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting? ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear? ... that Albert Einstein's likeness has been used to sell pornography? (Pictured) ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise? ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio? ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up? ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it? ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle? ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured) ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you? ... that I am inside your walls? ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting? ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear? ... that Albert Einstein's likeness has been used to sell pornography? (Pictured) ... that your opinion does count, but the admins think otherwise? ... that over 30 million Chinese peasants died in the Great Leap Forwards due to inadequate long-jump scores? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio? ... taht wrods and snetnces are raedalbe eevn wehn tehy are toatlly fckued up? ... that I let the dogs out, and you can't do a goddamn thing about it? ... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle? ... that playing Dungeons & Dragons has caused many teenagers to loose their grip on reality? (Pictured) ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth? ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins? ... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip? ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you? ... that I am inside your walls? ... that Jackson Pollock is the Jackson Pollock of painting? ... that when a grizzly bear becomes excited sexually it is known as a jizzly bear?	In the news Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei, et. al, Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Upcoming deaths: Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad On this day... March 5: Jump to the Beat of the Party Line Day (Turkey) 1914 - Preparations for the wildest party known to mankind are well on their way 1947 - The wildest party known to mankind begins today, death tolls are still rising. 1991 - Emperor George Bush, Sr. takes over all of the Americas, except Hawaii. 1999 - The party almost stops over fear of the Y2K Bug. Then someone gets a fly swatter. Party continues. 2006 - Party nearly ends due to sudden Bird Flu epidemic. Ends with Bird Flu being deported to Britain and the death of Big Bird. Party Continues. 2008 - Aliens invade the Eastern Seaboard, destroying the cities of New York and Washington, D.C., party suspended until Will Smith blows up their mothership. 2148 - End of the World, the Turks party in Heaven, with Allah, Buddha and Jesus.
Today's featured picture Hello Kitty getting her groove on. Image credit: IMBJR View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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