User talk:Zombiebaron/archive24
 | This page is an archive. The contents have been moved from another page for reference purposes only, and should be preserved in their current form. Discussion or voting on this page is not current. Any additions you make will probably not be read. The current version of this page can be found at User talk:Zombiebaron. |
Brilliance
Right here. As Sargent Cosgrove would say, "Heh......that's funny....heh heh...." How is your crazy undead self doing nowadays? It's been quite a while. -RAHB 08:00, 20 August 2009 (UTC)
- Glad you liked that. I don't think many people visit that page, but I'm glad that it's a hilariously accurate one liner that provides lots of help. I've been alright. I'm about to start school again in September, so I'll be inactive for awhile. I will still try to make an effort to drop by once in awhile, because this place needs more idiots like me around to keep rocking the boat (or at least that's what I tell myself). How about you? -- The Zombiebaron 21:05, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
Bet you don't remember this...
The future!--<<
>> 01:36, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- Bah, I can't remember the last time I forgot something. And I for sure didn't forget that. As I remember, you said you would help me, but then left. Also, it's almost no longer "the future", but if you wanna keep working on it, I'm game. -- The Zombiebaron 01:50, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- I didn't so much "leave" as "continue to be the lazy-ass bum I've always been."--<<
>> 01:58, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- Also, looking at it, um... there really isn't anywhere to go with that joke, is there?--<<>> 02:00, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- I think the idea was to make a futeristic version of Uncyclopedia in some manner. But yeah, I'm not really sure what we'd do. It sounds hard. Let's just quit while we're ahead. -- The Zombiebaron 02:16, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- Yay! I'll get us ice cream. /me sits on fat ass and does nothing.--<<>> 02:21, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- We have accomplished so very much this day. -- The Zombiebaron 02:22, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- Yay! I'll get us ice cream. /me sits on fat ass and does nothing.--<<
- I think the idea was to make a futeristic version of Uncyclopedia in some manner. But yeah, I'm not really sure what we'd do. It sounds hard. Let's just quit while we're ahead. -- The Zombiebaron 02:16, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
- Also, looking at it, um... there really isn't anywhere to go with that joke, is there?--<<
- I didn't so much "leave" as "continue to be the lazy-ass bum I've always been."--<<
Hey ZB
Great to see you around the place again! MadMax 16:09, 26 July 2009 (UTC)
- Thatnks MadMax, glad to see you around too! -- The Zombiebaron 04:23, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
User:The Woodburninator and I have been working on a new template, {{reqaward}}, for UN:REQ and was wondering if you could take a look at it when you have some time. I nominated it at Votes for Awards but I don't really have a "stand out" image yet (one of the requirements I believe). I'd appreciate any help you can give. Thanks. MadMax 21:10, 27 July 2009 (UTC)
- It looks good. As an admin you don't really have to submit anything you do to voting, and the Votes for Awards page isn't really very high up on anybody radar (it's almost never edited, and I'm pretty sure most users have never heard of it), so you can probably just go straight ahead and do whatever you feel needs to be done to make the award "official". You're right about the picture not being the greatest award picture ever, but I really can't think of anything better myself at the moment. -- The Zombiebaron 00:42, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
Thanks again. MadMax 01:51, 30 July 2009 (UTC)
Thank you your baron-ness
  Thank you ...
... for supporting my recently featured picture. A baby potato shall be mercilessly sacrificed in your honour. - Sonje |
--Dame 
17:48, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- No problem. -- The Zombiebaron 18:49, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- Also, welcome back. I hope you stay, I'm a big fan of your work. --Dame 18:56, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- Thank you. Hopefully there will be more of it in the future. And from what I've seen of your work, your complatement means a great deal. -- The Zombiebaron 19:02, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- Also, welcome back. I hope you stay, I'm a big fan of your work. --Dame
'Ello Mr. Baron
Good to see you're still amongst the living, or as much as a zombie can be at any rate. Are we to believe the extended sabbatical is over - after all, there's not a lot of us Jewish types around the ol' wiki these days - or will you be vanishing again? :-) Rabbi Techno 
kvetch 
Contribs 
FOXES 15:29, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- The future's uncertain and the end is always near. Nice too see you too Rabbi. -- The Zombiebaron 15:35, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
It's You
However brief, or otherwise, this visit may be, it does me good to see you around. Just thought I'd mention it. --UU - natter 
23:12, Jun 12
- Does this mean admins are still only being paid in good vibes? Because I figure if wikia changed the URL, they might as well start sending me my paycheques too. But seriously, where's my money? -- The Zombiebaron 23:06, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
Welcome back, Mr. Baron.
Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
- Right back atcha. -- The Zombiebaron 15:19, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
Very cool.
Is everybody in? The ceremony is about to begin. --T. (talk) 15:41, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- And thanks for the WotM vote. No one is more surprised than me that I still have the marbles to string coherent sentences together. So hey... I've been back here since late April, and hoping to keep sticking around. Are you back, or just passing through?? --T. (talk) 18:16, 14 June 2009 (UTC)
- No problem man, you should know that you've always been one of my favorite writers on the site. At this point, I'm probably just passing through, as I'll deffinitely be returning to my permenant vacation status in September. -- The Zombiebaron 23:57, 25 June 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost! June 18/19th!
Now with 20% more ninjas!
June 18th, 2009 • Issue 52 • Thinly sliced news, between two slices of humor, with lettuce and hollandaise sauce
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Votes for Sandwiches Officially Opens  This week, Votes for Sandwiches was established by Uncyclopedia Internetist and Lead Executive of Sandwiches, Spang. Previously some sort of secret cabal hazing page, lead cabalists have thrown the doors of VFS open to reveal thinly sliced meats on a variety of breads. Or they would have, if the cabal existed, which it doesn't. Official Cabal Spokesman Mordillo exclusively explained the new feature best: "The cabal, as part of its never-ending efforts to assert its all-consuming control over the citizenry, has now introduced voting for sandwiches. Each editor will be required to eat the elected sandwiches for the entire following month. Members of the cabal will closely observe voter's decisions to make sure that no vile sandwiches, such as BAKED BEANS ON TOAST WITH MELTED CHEESE, will be chosen. That's just vile. Editors will not be allowed to protest over the "democratically" "chosen" "sandwich". We're not Iran." Reactions to the new voting page were mixed. Some users were excited for the opportunity to express their fondness towards various lunches, provided that those lunches are a sandwich. "I'm glad that sandwiches, a comedy staple due to their low-priced nature and assembly so simple that even a writer can construct one, are finally getting their due on Uncyclopedia," said resident criminology term Modusoperandi. Others were not so supportive of the move, and point to recent disturbing trends since the introduction of VFS, the most disturbing being the raiding of the fridge in the Uncyclopedia break room and the subsequent theft of all sandwiches. Well, maybe not all sandwiches, but one specifically marked "gerry's. do not eat." So far no group has claimed responsibility for this act of sandwich-related terrorism. I will find you, you little punk! And when I do, you're making me another sandwich! Comebacks! Only $19.95! Call Now! 
Following a month and a half hiatus, resident VFD overlord and prince of pants MrN9000 is alleged to have returned to the wiki. According to reliable sources, MrN was spotted responding to his talk page and maintaining QVFD, among various other tasks. What other things he may do remains to be seen. We do know, however, that he has been welcomed warmly by the community, with Mordillo giving him the brand new nickname "fucker" and various users bestowing an award of reliability on him. BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE! Call Now And Get 2 for the Price Of 1! 
Following in MrN's robotically symmetrical footsteps was noted keyboard component SysRq. After many weeks of inactivity, Sys has returned to once again putter the Imperial Colonization ship around Uncyclopedia Harbor. He has described his goals as "re-assimilate as best I can" and "Go to hell, Dex". We would like to welcome both of these users back to the loving Uncyclopedia family, and urge them to GET BACK TO WORK!! Things Brewing In IRC People are yelling at each other, stalking each other, and randomly talking to one another. What I am talking about is, of course, IRC, the highly controversial melting pot of Uncyclopedia, where users of all stands, races, and levels of activity can talk about unimportant issues. It has recently come to our attention that ruthless battles were being fought on the fields of IRC. Our correspondent decided to check things out for himself. He was confronted with gay dinosaurs, Star Wars references and general dickery. Though this one time visit cannot render a clear view of the complex nature of IRC, it might give us a glimpse into the mind of the common IRCer. The dark, mysterious character of IRC remains. |
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You'd think I'd learn that this isn't fun to do... Oh well. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:43, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever
Telling You Stuff You Already Knew, But With Different Words!
June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!
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"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User  In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week
 This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it. |
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I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky
(talk) (stalk)
GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:57, 12 June 2009 (UTC)
Article Deletion Request, if that's fine?
Hello, sir.
I don't mean to bother you, but would you help me out? I've been thinking about restarting this whole article from scratch, but I don't know when I'll get to it or if I ever will, so I figure till then, best not to let it stink up the place. So, if it's not too much to ask, I'd like to have it deleted for the time being.
It was rushed and I wasn't too happy with it afterwards. I'm hoping I'll be able to do a better job next time. Thank you very much in advance if you remove it. - Hanyouman 06:11, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
- Sure. No problem whatsoever. -- The Zombiebaron 23:09, 13 June 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost June 4th, 2009
The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!
June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!
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Todd not Lionised by all?
 Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings  As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism. |
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Delievered by Saberwolf116 02:01, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost! 1st Anniversary Special!!!
Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.
April 30th, 2009 • Issue 45 • The periodical that - Jesus Christ it's a lion get in the car!
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UnSignpost Editors Too Busy Working on Anniversary UnSignpost to Bother with This Week's Issue Since next week marks the incredible one-year anniversary of the storied UnSignpost, the editors are focusing all of their efforts on that issue and thus leaving this issue out in the cold. Rest assured that next week's 46th issue, marking the 46 weeks in the year on the Uncyclopedia calendar, will be "a bumper special issue" according to co-chief-editor Under user. The promise of a special bonus issue brings to mind several of the UnSignpost's more notable issues, such as the All-Kitten Issue and the Seventeenth Issue Spectacular. Reactions to the milestone were mixed in the community. "I feel the signpost has in many ways brought a little too much cabal propaganda to the site for my liking," said noted good-looking tree Sycamore. Were there a cabal, cabal authorities would currently be on the way to Sycamore's house to arrest him. Lucky for him there is no cabal. By the way, if you really thought this was the first anniversary issue, you suck. |
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Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:37, 30 April 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost April 9th, 2009
The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!
April 9th, 2009 • Issue 42• We Give the In-jokes Recycling Center 90% of Their Business!
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Cabalists Decide Cabal Membership At Adequate Amount, Deny Existence of Cabal Uncyclopedia administrators this week decried the lack of need for new recruits, as they are wholly confident in their ability to secretly control the wiki from behind a moth-eaten curtain. On the voting page, which this reporter will probably be banned for pointing out to the common folk, the current cabal members expressed their desire to see more normal non-admins, or 'normies', be involved with the recent changes page. However, the option for another member being inducted into the cabal was declined, as things like the ban patrol and the Cajek Alert System seem to be running just fine, thank you very much. Cabalists were adamant about their opinions. RAHB had the following to say: "I cannot confirm the non-existence of the non-existent cabal, being that it does not exist, and I'm no Harry Potter-reading fantasy boy. I can however confirm the existence of puppies. THEY'RE ADORABLE!" The non-existence of the cabal was further emphasized by Mordillo who declined comment when approached as he was leaving the Secret Cabal Headquarters & Tiki Lounge. Experts were skeptical of the existence of the cabal, but point out that nothing should be ruled out. "Woof," said UnSignpost political correspondent DogNewspaper (pictured), citing the low level of vandalism and general dickery since the recent opping of Under user and MrN9000, who have become known to Uncyclopedians as "The Redcoats". Co-Creator of UnSignpost Introduces New Creation Dr. Skullthumper, co-founder of the very newspaper you are reading right now, has unrolled his newest creation, the NetBar. UnSignpost editors were too busy and ridden with jealousy to investigate the nature of this new invention, but our technology correspondant DogNewspaper (pictured) was willing to speculate on the new gadget. "Bark bark," he proclaimed, elaborating that this new thing is most likely some sort of candy bar or online tavern. This is not the first time the good doctor has abandoned the UnSignpost to work on other equally trivial projects. Fnoodle, disguised as a harmless spellcheck wiki-bot, is actually a perfect one-eight replica of Skull. This entity has nearly 20,000 edits, mostly vandalisms of pages in Thekillerfroggy's userspace. However, Fnoodle has sat abandoned in the doctor's sandbox since last October, since all of said doctor's time recently has been poured into his new project, the NetBar. Uncyclopedians had mixed reactions today. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user had this to say: "What the fuck is a NetBar?" A gathering in the Uncyclopedia break room formed, with users misguidedly attempting to ward off squirrels with the NetBar. When reached for comment, Dr. Skullthumper said, "What's an UnSignpost?" |
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Hand-delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 22:28, 9 April 2009 (UTC)
Thank you
Zombie, First, I want to thank you for your vote for me on Uncyclopedia:Potatochopper of the Year You really are the better person and you should have won. But, since you didn't I'll just be the one that people will point at and say "she won, but he really should have...". Oh, also, I really wish you would come back. Its not like it used to be without you. Hugs, Dame 
GUN PotY WotM 2xPotM 17xVFH VFP Poo PMS •YAP• 00:21, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
- Awww, thanks Prettiest. I really doesn't bother me at all that you won Potatochopper of the Year this year, and I'm sure I'll have at least a few more shots at it. And don't worry, I will return. Look to my coming, at first light, on the fifth day. At dawn, look to the East. -- The Zombiebaron 02:35, 12 February 2009 (UTC)
Zombiepedia
Just wanted to let you know that somebody stole your idea. -Sockpuppet of an unregistered user 21:30, 1 February 2009 (UTC)
Hi Zombiebaron
Nice to see you around these parts. —Sir SysRq (talk) 21:15, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
- Nice to see you seeing me around these parts. And by "parts', I mean my talkpage. -- The Zombiebaron 21:20, 2 January 2009 (UTC)
Here's Your Christmas Tree
----Pleb- Sawblade5 [coolest link ever] ( yell | FAQ | I did this ) 08:32, 25 December 2008 (UTC)
Happy Holidays from all of us at SysRq Waste Disposal and Grinder Co.
Merry Christmas
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Bonner would like to wish you
a Merry Christgame |
Happy Hanukkah
if you're not Jewish, party anyway
Happy Hanukkah from Rabbi Techno
NOW START DRINKING
Just a random passerby
I was wondering how long you are going to be off - VFP could do with your love as could we all. I would try and butter you up a bit more, but I'm pretty lousy at that. Anyhoo I'll be off. /me slides ice cream and flowers under Zombiebarons door...--Sycamore (Talk) 16:46, 9 December 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: 3-ish November 2008
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
November 3rd-ish, 2008 • Twenty-Third Issue • Better than things that aren't as good!
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Address Change: Return To Sender? If you are one of those people, here's a brief summary of the incident:
If you aren't one of those people, here's an even briefer summary:
More on this ongoing situation as we get it. Probably. Glorious return to form for MrN! Fellow poopsmith and genial man-about-town UU said of the momentous occasion: "you what? MrN? Oh yeah, him. Good bloke. Knows his underwear". Then he scratched his nose reflectively and wandered off. MrN himself was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press/we couldn't be bothered to interview him (delete as you think applicable), but the UnSignpost fondly imagines he would have smiled enigmatically, raised an eyebrow quizzically, nodded appreciatively, and said "PANTS!" predictably. The pants themselves were also unavailable for comment. |
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Shoved through the letterbox for the one and only time by UU - natter 11:34, Nov 6
In case you sneak back while I'm not looking
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For the glory of her majesty is this week's Colonization. Your Uncyclopedia needs you!! You asked for it and now For the glory of her majesty is to be transformed by our band of rewriting brothers. It is your duty as an Uncyclopedian to join the invading army, go forth and spread the funny word. Good luck, my friend. |
-- 15Mickey20 (talk to Mickey) 16:44, 13 October 2008 (UTC)
UnSignpost: October 10th 2008
The Newspaper the Whole Family Must Enjoy!
October 9th, 2008 • Twenty-First Issue • Bursting with Crunchy Goodness!
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Uncyclopedia Stock Plummets  Uncyclopedia stockholders are in a state of panic after shares of Uncyclomedia fell over 60% this week amid fears of a writing recession. "I just can't gamble on a rebound," said one investor as he carefully climbed out onto his window ledge overlooking Wall Street, perhaps seeking some fresh air. "With the current economic and comedic climate, and rumors of the destruction of the website, it looks like Uncyc Incorporated is about to fold." Other investors are slightly more optimistic. We ran into a smartly dressed woman in the Uncyc break room and were intrigued as to why a female would ever have enough confidence in the wiki to invest the large sum of one dollar bills she was counting. It turned out that she was a stripper, but we did eventually find someone who still had faith in the company. "There's so much more to the Uncyclopedia Empire than just the humor wiki," said confident money-man Chet Hardluck. "There's the kitten factory, the escort service, the games & sports division...and don't forget the world's largest boron-smelting plant!" When it was pointed out that these claims are in fact bollocks (except for the boron plant), Hardluck joined the queue of businessmen waiting their turn to get some frsh air on the suddenly popular ledge. The fate of the Uncyclopedia corporation remained unclear at press time. Some say that if Uncyc stock plummets through enough negative numbers, the stock will reset itself at zero, resulting in huge negative negative profits for those who bought the stock whilst it was negative. Uncyclopedia announces invasion of YouTube The first upload began a series of incursions onto YouTube by all types of Uncyclopedians. Some made sense, such as article narrations and UnTunes. Some were questionable, such as the gangsta rap video by the usually timid Sycamore. But nearly 99% of all material in the 'Uncyclopedia' category is patent nonsense, such as a visualization of AAAAAAA!, faceoffs between George Bush & Kanye West and Steve Ballmer & various other injokes, and a 'don't blink contest' featuring Gert5 staring into a camera for nine hours. |
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— Sir Sycamore (talk) 18:44, 10 October 2008 (UTC)
Radek Stepanek
Yeh, er, you huffed this page I made. This is probably a long shot, but do you know if i could fimd a copy of my handywork. I'm not trying to set it up again, but i'm a bit of a nerd and i'd like to see it again.– Preceding unsigned comment added by Asabovesobellow (talk • contribs)
UnSignpost: October 3rd, 2008
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH
October 2nd, 2008 • ALL-KITTEN ISSUE • Your #1 source for Cajek ban jokes!
According to Wikia staff member Sannse, Uncyclopedia's advertising revenue is below expectations and must rename itself to appeal to the younger generation. "I think the problem is that 'Uncyclopedia' has lost its edge," Sannse said to a crowd of squirrels and kittens gathered around the Uncyclo-stables last Saturday, "...all of which is contained in its name." Older users, like Mordillo, the jew who secretly controls "Uncyc," and TheLedBalloon, who is an inanimate balloon, strongly petition for the name to stay the same. The Unsignpost couldn't be bothered to actually read the forum that Sannse created, but we're assuming that everyone's against changing the name to "Asparagus.org" or something. The name change will reflect the personalities and interests of every single contributor. "Yeah, Asparagus.org is gonna have to do until we figure out what would be a good name," Sannse yelled at a local gathering of squirrels in Uncyclopedia's break room. Many users have complained about the change, but not AsparagusSignPost, which has run into a little trouble with the law recently, and doesn't want to go back to jail by disobeying "the man" or causing "drama". Because, as we ALL know, some head writers have been banned a whole bunch of times for being "different". So to Asparagus.org we say: "Keep the funnies coming, unless someone is forecasting your doom again..."
 For the first time in over two weeks, the flaming death of this silly wiki has been predicted in some form. Last time it was that stain that looked puzzlingly like Jimbo Wales, the time before it was that bird that flew overhead. You know the one I mean. This time around, undead user Necropaxx has pointed out several recent disturbing trends that seem to mean only one thing: Uncyc is about to suffer its death throes. It seems this time that the demise of the wiki will also utterly destroy the souls of every one of the dozens of users who contribute here regularly. Tidings such as this have frightened new users such as September NotM Multiliteralist, who had his to say: "Oh no." Several of the signs that Uncyclopedia is doomed are unarguably true: VFP is stagnant due to the lack of Zombiebaron activity. The Pee Review queue is backed up worse than a public toilet after Cinco de Mayo. Modusoperandi seems to be malfunctioning, as he has dispensed with his usual biting wit in favor of just plain biting. It appears, in at least a few users' eyes, that Uncyc has "jumped the kitten". Lack of News Wreaks Havoc on UnSignpost In an unprecedented press conference earlier this week, UnSignpost editor-in-chief Mr. Gerry Cheevers (the user, not the hockey player) admitted that "This week's issue is actually still a blank template", further stating "I've been swamped at work, and today developed cold-like symptoms." However, some experts disagree on the cause of an UnSignpost devoid of news. "There is an obvious explanation for the lack of gratifying news stories in the USP this week," said Mr. News Guy, the world-renowned news reporter, kitten enthusiast, and unicycle-fetish expert. "There is just no news to report on," he continued, to which the reporter we borrowed from UnNews responded "And what's causing this lack of news?" "That's just it! There's no news to report on!" "So... you're saying is, the reason there's no news is because there's no news?" "Exactly! And it's just a matter of time until some attention whore writes a stupid and redundant story on the fact that there's no news!" This story is dedicated to the memory of Mr. News Guy, whose body was recovered from the Los Angeles river the next day. |
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-- REGRETTENENBAUMIS DEAD TALK! 23:33, 3 October 2008 (UTC)
Shalom
Just popping by to say happy rosh hashannah. RabbiTechno 19:10, 1 October 2008 (UTC)
Unsignpost! June 25th or 30th
Now With 0 Trans Fat!
June 25th, 2009 • Issue 53 • The newspaper that steals other newspapers' lunch money
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Users Campaign to Delete Vast Portions of Uncyclopedia  Several users have recently begun campaigns to rid Uncyclopedia of some of its oldest, cruftiest, stalest content, or so they would have you believe. We at the UnSignpost aren't here to report anything other than the facts, including but not limited to: opinions, speculation, and pictures of cats with funny captions. First on the chopping block was the Timeline series. This group of articles apparently chronicles the made-up version of history as recorded by people who aren't very funny. Dr. Skullthumper has taken the lead in the crusade against this unholy document, and reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users supported the good doctor, while others appreciated his sentiment but enjoyed the crisp, fresh smell of proper procedure much better. Noted deletionist Gwax made an appearance in order to streamline the effort to remove all of the unfunniness from the timeline, and he has been joined by several other users seeking to improve rather than delete the entire project. Next in line for the guillotine was Uncyclopedia's longest-running and only soap opera, The Young and the Uncyclopedians. At the head of this movement is prominent murderous amphibian Thekillerfroggy, who made such bold claims as "Vanity, sir!" and "Words words words!" As this project is not merely a page but an entire slew of pages, it was rejected by the Uncyclopedia Deletion Tribunal, but further actions may be in the works. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!" Usefulness of IP Contributions Called Into Question...Again The question of whether or not we should allow IPs to edit our precious humor wiki has been raised yet again, this time by plucky Der Unwehr founder Guildensternenstein. UnSignpost reporters were baffled by the concept of what an IP was, until it was explained that it is some sort of automatic vandalism robot designed to troll websites, post vanity, and ensure all articles make the proper amount of references to Chuck Norris. The debate raged fiercely, with many users falling on either side of the so-called "IP line". One camp decided that the contributions from these entities did more harm than good to the community and its collection of humor. The opposing faction took up the opposite view: that IP editors were harmless and at worst an annoyance. Modusoperandi, the lead counsel for the IP defense team, made several compelling arguments, most notably the case that IPs are adorable and thus harmless. In the end, it was decided that IP editing is something we must live with, mostly because Conservapedia doesn't allow it, and we don't want to be any more like them than we already are. When reached for comment about the situation, Uncyclopedia founder Chronarion responded, "AAAAAAAA!!!!" |
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We're not late you're just high! Orian57 Talk 
14:29 30 June 2009
UnSignpost: July 2nd, 2009
We're delivering it to your door anyways!
July 2nd, 2009 • Issue 54 • The newspaper with the name that's an anagram of "stop using n"
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The Young and The Uncyclopedians Cancelled After enjoying a long-running career and several writer changes, Uncyclopedia's fabled soap opera The Young and the Uncyclopedians was cancelled this week. And by "cancelled" we mean totally owned by Thekillerfroggy. It seems TKF finally had enough, and spent nearly an hour systematically deleting the entire series, which previously contained over 60% of all content in the UnScripts namespace. The newly freed electrons, no longer required for TYATU, can now be used for other Uncyclopedia-related tasks, such as boron smelting, and they may even be used to form a sort of crude bot that can edit The count to a million project automatically. Not content with merely obliterating the entire series, Thekillerfroggy apparently became bored halfway through his holy crusade, and decided to get creative in the deletion summaries. As can be seen in a memorial erected by what is presumed to be a jilted fan of the show, TKF nostalgized and ranted, remembered and forgot, loved and lost, all while expressing his inner thoughts through the medium of deletion summaries. An example can be seen at the very end of his effort, where Thekillerfroggy writes: "Sigh./Well here's the home stretch/It's been real/We've had some good times/some bad times/But in the end/All we are is dust in the wind/So goodnight, sweet prince/Farewell TYATU/Fin." Reactions on the wiki were, as usual, mixed. Some users held a candlelight vigil in userspace, where some of the episodes have been resurrected in a zombie-like form. Entertainment editor DogNewspaper (pictured) wagged his tail, perhaps expressing hope that one day a new soap opera, sitcom, or crime investigation show featuring Uncyclopedia editors would once again grace this site. We can only dream... Main Page Suffers Spasms of Dickery  If you logged onto the Main Page sometime on July 2nd between 2:00 and 3:00 GMT (and if you can't figure out what time that is where you live, then don't expect us to provide it for you, we're not a bloody watch!), you may have noticed some subtle changes. Instead of the usual Wikipedia-like format, with carefully organized features, news stories, anniversaries, and vital information, you may or may not have found...something else. You may or may not have found an intruiging offer to reffer freinds to take some sort of mp3-player related actions. You may or may not have found some sort of story with a vague theme of respecting one's elders, and everything about those elders, and we do mean everything. You may or may not have found some sort of strange mix of the two that left you with conflicting feelings. These feelings may or may not have included, but not been limited to: fear, anger, jealousy, confusion, fear again, and a vague sensation of falling. The admins responsible for this will not be named here, due to their next probable course of action in the case in which we did mention them, which would most likely be something along the lines of turning every UnSignpost issue into a Euroipod, whatever that is. The only thing we can report on is that the shenanigans ended just over an hour after they began, with the Main Page being restored to its previous false information-rich state. However, this episode shows us that it will never be safe from the hijinks of that group of admins, who, again, will not be named. |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 19:54, 3 July 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 9th July 2009
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
July 9th, 2009 • Issue 55• Help! I'm trapped in a newspaper printer!
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Survivor returns to Uncyclopedia after almost two years
In late 2007, a man by the name of Leoispotter had the idea to bring his favorite reality show to Uncyclopedia. Thus, the first season of UnSurvivor was created. After five thrilling rounds of voting, Mr. Briggs Inc. managed to win against the other finalist, Thekillerfroggy, by a mere two votes. Flash forward almost two years. Kingkitty, a competitor in the first UnSurvivor, decides it's time for another go-around, and season 2 is born. In an exclusive interview with Mr. Kitty, he had this to say: "Well, I was bored ("and crazy", says one passing by civilian) and I thought: 'perhaps the community could do something fun, and stop with all this writing bullshit.'" When later asked what he thought about this current season, he said, "It's showing to be bigger and better than last season, with more betrayals, more violence, more whining, and more betrayals. Lots of betrayals. Mostly of me." Currently, UnSurvivor Season 2 is in its final round of voting, where the voted-off members of the game get to vote on the finalist they want to win. The finalists this season are: after last seasons defeat, Thekillerfroggy, and newcomers to the show, THEDUDEMAN and An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays. Voting is set to take place over 72 hours instead of the usual 24, and the winner will be announced sometime Friday July 10th. After this, according to Mr. Kitty, there "probably" will be a season 3, and it will be bigger and better than anything ever before.
Uncyclopedians pay crass tasteless tribute to Michael Jackson  Michael Jackson, the legendary King of Pop, touched many lives, and the news of his untimely demise has left a deep void in the lives of his millions of fans and victims. Fans all over Uncyclopedia, stricken by grief, flocked by the dozens to mourn their departed hero in the only way they knew how: through the medium of humour. They ranged from perfunctory to crude to mediocre, but each expressed a deeply profound sadness that the weird plastic rapist was no more. (Yeah, "weird plastic rapist". That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Tributes continue to pour in despite the fact that it is no longer funny or clever. With the stage set for a long, protracted battle over his kids and estate, Uncyclopedia expects that unfunny people will continue to get mileage out of this story for many weeks to come. Uncyclopedia admins plan to send a selection of the best "tributes" to the Jackson family, along with the number of a company that recycles plastics. (That's what you wanted to hear, isn't it? Ha ha ha.) Editors emerge from woodwork, contribute to UnSignpost This week, when UnSignpost Active Editor Gerrycheevers brought up the Uncyclopedia page containing the currently in-progress UnSignpost, he suffered a minor heart attack upon finding that two stories had already been added to the paper. It seems both An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays and THEDUDEMAN, both newly given the title "Consulting Editor", took exception to being named "Consulting Editor" and took it upon themselves to blanket the UnSignpost with awesomeness. Unsignpost Payroll Manager DogNewspaper (pictured) bared his teeth at this development, indicating his frustration at having to re-issue new timecards to both editors. Gerrycheevers is expected to make a full recovery; flowers can be sent to the Uncyclopedia Infirmary and Shooting Range. |
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UnSignpost: July 16nd, 2009
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
July 16th, 2009 • Issue 56 • This is a Pathetic Joke
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User Return Causes Widespread Panic  This week noted user An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays returned to the wiki, and immediately rendered that return "triumphant". However, other users are beginning to feel the effects of the presence of this primate whose quantum mechanical properties dictate that he be only during certain periods of the week. This incident left onlookers shocked, and worrying if something similar could happen to them. Not since the return of a scantily-clad Olipro has this website seen such a display of sheer terror mixed with complete confusion (and in the case of Olipro, a bit of curious arousal mixed in). The aforementioned incident involved one user who had AATOEOT embedded in his dreams. Most curiously, this episode seems to have happened on a Friday night, a time period when an An Ape that Only Exists on Thursdays should decidedly not exist. Nearly a week has passed without further disruptions, although that may be partially due to Ape's ban after being kicked off of the Uncyclopedia island during a rousing game of Uncyclopedia Survivor. Regardless of the reasons behind the strange occurrences, users should be sure to keep an eye out for strange occurrences on and off the wiki...particularly on Thursdays. Flood of Crap Nearly Overflows VFD For the last few days, an explosion of nominations has inundated Uncyclopedia's waste removal system, Votes for Deletion. After a period of low activity, where there would typically be just a few to several nominations, things picked up last week. In the last few days, the situation has accelerated into what is being called by experts a "shit-ton" of undesirable content festering in the dark, unvisited corners of the wiki. Said undesirable content is currently being read, discussed, and dealt with accordingly, as is the usual procedure at the highly efficient VFD. Circumstances have escalated to the point of rattling a few relaxed admins. One such incident involved a user getting the customary one-day ban for increasing the active nomination count past twenty, when the user in question had, in fact, only increased the number of active noms to twenty. Owing to the normal tendency of the article count of VFD to stay in the low single digits lately, the lapse is certainly forgiveable, and was quickly corrected. Afterwards the two parties exchanged pleasantries and shared a S'Mores which was roasted over the open bonfire of newly deleted articles. Former poopsmith MrN9000 commented on the situation, saying, "Well you know I fancy the standards at VFD have improved significantly in recent times. Not so long ago it would often just be a quick "Short and Shit" vote from UU, and the latest stub was on for a huffing. These days we are spending more time voting on closer votes and are deleting much better articles than we used to! Something VFD is really proud of." In a final display of VFD patriotism, MrN added, "CHECK THE PAGE HISTORY BEFORE NOMINATING YOU BUGGERS!" Orian57 On Fire  Noted rainbow-colored user Orian57 has recently enjoyed a remarkable string of success (pictured on right). He has scored an unprecedented natural hat trick of features, with UnBooks:Daddy, There's a Zombie in the Garden, LazyTown, and UnScripts:Trapped at Sea reaching the front page on consecutive days. Not since the time of such legends as Savethemooses and The Thinker have such lofty VFH records been broken. Although in the case of STM, there were probably mitigating factors involved, like wooden articles rather than aluminum, or something. Or aluminium, that strange substance only found in England by mining thousands of millions of other strange occurences, such as referring to the trunk of a car as a "boot". This god-like spasm of awesomeness is fresh on the heels of Orian's Writer of the Month win in June of this year. Since the beginning of that month, he has seen six of his works grace the front page, and he shows no signs of slowing down. When reached for comment, he explained, "Well I suppose it's down to being fantastic. And unemployed. But mostly being fantastic." The UnSignpost would like to congratulate Orian on his recent spat of win, and express hopes he will continue the pattern well into the future. |
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THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 22:22, 16 July 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost: July 23rd, 2009
The Newspaper That Openly Admits Its Liberal And Conservative Biases!
July 23rd, 2009 • Issue 57 • The Newspaper That Won't Tell Everyone That You Wet the Bed! Oops...
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Uncyclopedia Users Form Fantasy Football League  This week, several Uncyclopedians banded together under the leadership of one Guildensternenstein to form some sort of "Fantasy Football" organization. What exactly this entails is unclear, but it appears that the football- and soccer-related fantasies of the participating members will be carried out in the semi-private confines of the forums. Reactions were mixed to this development, with some users expressing emotions ranging from apathy to indifference. Others voiced concern about children, decency, and lewd public conduct. "My little boy came home today saying something about going to another boy's house to perform football fantasies!" said one outraged and confused mother. Regardless of the small amount of negative feedback, participants are eager to begin fantasizing about their favorite football players, such as David Beckham. Bradaphraser had this to say: "The Fantasy Football League is a chance for Uncyclopedians to get away from the hustle and bustle of everyday Uncyclopedia work and actually have some fun for a change. While I usually am busy with the administrating task of sitting on my lazy ass and doing nothing, this gives users a chance to see me in a more relaxed state." "I fully expect that this venture will be just as successful as my recent run for the Presidency," continued Brad, "which I lost to Bradford Lyttle of the Pacifist party by a mere 110 votes. I fully expect to win one or possibly even two games in this upcoming season, assuming of course that a draft is eventually held." Said draft is scheduled to begin immediately, and assuming only a small portion of footballers flee to Canada to evade this draft, the Uncyclopedia Fantasy Football League will be ready to hold its first game by opening day. Village Dump Suffers From Rash of Inactivity  In a startling development, activity on Uncyclopedia's main gathering place, the Village Dump, has all but ceased. With The UnIdiot registering the sole comment in the last three full days, the normal flow of important, relevant conversation in the Forums appears to have dried up. While an excess of users can usually be found loitering aimlessly in the halls of the Dump, it appeared all but deserted as of press time. Several theories have been raised, ranging from the intriguingly possible (July weather causes Uncyclopedians to go outside) to the exceedingly headache-inducing (Uncyclopedians are being abducted by giant space cabbages). However, one of the more interesting theories comes from our lead scientist and nature correspondant, DogNewspaper (unavailable for picture). He claims that while the Village Dump itself along with associated forums such as the Ministry of Love and the Help forum has seen a decline in activity, the so-called Benson's House of Pancakes has seen a shocking upswing in activity. In the same time frame that only a single edit was made in the Village Dump, sixteen different topics were edited in Benson's Breakfast Domicile. DogNewspaper, that earlier mentioned nature correspondant, calls this a migration. "Woof," he claimed, elaborating that many users were unable to adapt to conditions found in the normal Village Dump, and were forced to relocate to the more hospitable Benson-related location. It is here, in the BHOP, that users are free to create topics concerning their own birthdays, the anniversaries of their birth, and memorials commemorating the day they were born. Whether the mass exodus is complete or not has yet to be seen. |
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This edition is on time, and anyone who tells you differently is lying! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 05:01, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost: July 30th, 2009
The Newspaper With No Ambitions, Goals, Hopes or Dreams!
July 30th, 2009• Issue 58• Now Delivered Trendily Late!
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Uncyclopedia Users Alter Time Itself  This week: an update. As previously reported in an earlier news story, one month ago several well-known contributors went on a campaign to try and delete time itself. It is said they were trying to bring about an end to unfunniness throughout history, with the slight side effect of non-existence. But just as it looked as if their plan would come to fruition, cooler heads prevailed and stopped everything in its tracks. Since then, the plan has changed. Instead of deleting all that ever was, the users have decided it would be much more prudent to just change all of history to their liking. Several users have been seen spending their free time on User:Gwax/Timeline rebuild, in some cases changing events one year at a time, and in others trying to change entire millennia. How they are able to do this, no one is sure, though rumors of a DeLorean DMC-12 have been circulating. The outcomes of the project have, thus far, been very good Remarks from the community on the process have been nothing but positive. "In order to walk the road of peace, we need to climb the mountain of conflict," notable scholar TKF exclusively commented. We have our entire staff working around the clock to figure out what this means as we speak. Town drunk Dexter111344 was also heard mumbling about the subject. He blamed wizards for the whole thing, before stumbling away, probably to make more links to A wizard did it. Regardless, whether its wizards or time machines, the editing of the past continues as we speak, and will continue until all of history has been changed. Or until we get bored and move onto something else. Uncyclopedia Editors Conflicted Over Story Topic Owing to the large amount of things happening in the last week, and also to the fact that this issue is unforgivably late, the editors of the UnSignpost were unable to settle on a single topic for the second story of this week's edition. The editors were also unable to agree on either two topics for a rare three-story issue or how many UnSignpost editors it takes to screw in a lightbulb (the UnSignpost staff has been left to ponder this question in the dark). As a decision could not be reached, it was decided after much deliberation and petty arguing that all of the candidate stories be mentioned rapid-fire in a single story, so as to confuse and irritate the reader and cause him to be required to navigate back to this issue to click on all of the links. These stories are as follows: Zombiebaron returns and petitions to end voting. His effort is parodied, rebutted, and parodied again. A link to Requested Articles is placed on the sidebar and MadMax commences handing out badges to requested article creators. Zombiebaron returns again to demand reskins, which we understand means he needs to replace all of his undead flesh with "fresh flesh". Cajek returns, but not really. VFH maxes out at 23 nominations at press time, including some discussion-inducing selections. More events certainly occured, but we can't be arsed to list everything for you. |
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It's on time, you were just high and didn't realize when it got here! THEDUDEBOT Armed and Ready Say The Word 03:31, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost! August 6th, 2009!! WE BE LATE, Y'ALL!!!
The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.
August 6th, 2009 • Issue 59 • Painfully Extracting Nuggets of Truth from the Teeth of the News!
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Uncyclopedia Triples Ad Revenue; Users Line Up For Paychecks  This week, Uncyclopedia's benign evil overlords, Wikia, shuffled the advertising layout on our fine website. Previously, the left sidebar contained just one Wikia spotlight. These spotlights are not advertisements as much as they are a way to whore Wikia and increase its position in some sort of Google rankings, since the links from the banner ads go from Wikia-hosted Uncyclopedia to Google and back to Wikia-hosted wikis on such relevant topics to users who are on a satire wiki as the Burnout Wiki and the Harry Potter wiki. These Google rankings are actually a series of thousands of monkeys at Google headquarters, who move beads around on giant abaci based on search engine hits. Users who click these cleverly disguised and probably illegal "double-switch" ads cause the monkeys to alter the beads in Wikia's favor. However, in recent days this Wikia spotlight was moved to the bottom of each page rather than the sidebar and multiplied by three. A cursory look at any of the wikis linked in these spotlights results in a brutal assault of the senses, as they are all swimming in banner advertisements, sidebar advertisements, advertisements in the content, and links to highly useful Wikia features such as Wikianswers. While the increased number of spotlights on Uncyclopedia has not directly resulted in any cash flow, the increased Google bead rating has indeed caused Wikia stock to jump by six beads (the stock market is also organized using giant abaci, only it is operated by goats rather than monkeys). Wikia has decided to share credit for this jump in value with the users of Uncyclopedia, and all users will be receiving checks for equal amounts next Tuesday. The line forms behind Olipro, wherever he happens to be on Tuesday when the stock market goats arbitrarily decide to stop working for the day. A Hell of a Time at the Village Dump
Recently in the forums, BHOP's activity has arguably skyrocketed. An IP has started a new rhyming craze, and the cheesy, crunchy snack food CheddarBBQ has revived many topics that were getting rather aged, such as Fantasy Football, a Shakira-esque topic, and even his own birthday's topic. Back on BHOP, fruity user Neox's random storytelling and serious user YouKnowWhatTheMusicMeans' serious, dramatic storytelling have made Forum:Who HATES MochiAds? 2's story a complete, random mess. Also, Optimuschris and Modusoperandi have been having one hell of a time discussing the much-anticipated failing of the new G.I. Joe movie. Finally, users have a had a heated battle over whether to ban the Abstain feature on VFH, which is ending up as off-topic and random as an episode of Lost. Are there any cool discussions going on? That's the forum news in your area, now here's Mr. G with the weather, only on |
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Hand delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 21:27, 10 August 2009 (UTC)
UnSignpost 13th August 2009. It's not late. You are!
The Newspaper that just got hijacked by Woody and Ape. Mwhahahaha!
Date August 13th, 2009 • Issue 60 • Taking the News, Making it Better
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UnSignpost Editor Disappears; UnSignpost Suffers Mysterious Drop in Quality August 10, 2009 - a date which will live in infamy. Gerrycheevers, the UnSignpost's handsome, talented, and, often times, only editor announced his leave of absence in order to head west, and make a name for himself. In an UnSignpost Exclusive, Gerry talked at length about his final destination and the exciting journey he expects. "[I'll be heading to] north dakota. [I reckon I'll take the famous Oregon Trail, driving a horse and buggy, herding cattle, planting seeds of injustice wherever I may.]" How long this move out west will take is unknown by all but our best psychics, and since Gerry has them trained to bite anyone who come near, we'll go with Gerry's approximate date of August 21. If all of our readers miss Gerry (and we have a feeling that, one paragraph in, you already do), please drop him a line. Tell him how much he is missed. Tell him that if he ever leaves again, we won't be so forgiving. Just tell him something. We don't want to have to do this without him again. In an unrelated note, the UnSignpost - usually a shining example of grammatical correctness, good spelling, and hilarity - seems to have hit a drop in quality for this week's issue. The reasons for these changes seem to be a mystery to everyone. As far as we can tell, the problems that have arisen are completely arbitrary. The reasons for this change in quality have been the talk of the community this week. Some have suggested the recent meteor shower has caused an influx of gamma radiation into our atmosphere, creating a negative energy all over the Earth, and thus causing our writing abilities to falter. Under User stupidly blamed all of this on the change in editors, saying "Good to see we're keeping the time-honoured Signpost tradition of the revolving door to the editor's office alive and well. Although now Woody's in there, that should probably be a 'revolting' door." Bastard. Uncyclopedian creates Trivia Bot, ruins everything
EMC let loose his bot on the nerds, perverts and middle-aged alcoholics of #uncyclopedia, leading to even less constructive conversation then usual. Instead, the channel is mostly filled with dozens of people shouting random words in the hopes of being awarded meaningless points. Some, however, have pointed out that the only real difference between this and the way things were before is the awarding of points. Not content with destroying one channel, however, EMC subsequently decided to bring his bot to ##turtle,the exciting new channel with the dubious honour of being "the BHOP of IRC" (but with less Bad Shroom), which also served as a staging post for a recent troll invasion of Yahoo! Answers. EMC was unavailable for comment when I was throwing this piece together in five minutes. He is presumed to be sitting in a cave somewhere stroking his large red crayon and laughing dementedly. New Editors Have Trouble Matching up Left and Right Sides In a startling development, the newest editors of the UnSignpost are proving to be quite inept at lining up the left and right sides of Post's template. It seems that our penchant for placing more and more boxes on the right side of the page has defeated the natural aesthetic of the Post's two-even-sides strategy. While this is a problem, it does seem to be fixable. Namely, by adding this headline and story. Is this just an obvious cry for help, that we are unable to do this without Gerry? Probably. But since our hostile takeover has proven quite |
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