User:Zombiebaron/2010

Congratulations to former Uncyclopedian Blind "Zombiebaron" McTell on being named the host of "How Gay Are You, Sir," showing Tuesday nights at midnight on HGTV.

The Poo Lit Surprise winners have been announced! Thanks to everyone who participated.

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Today's featured article White History Month, (also known as Caucasian History Month), is an annual observance for remembrance of important people and events in the history of the Caucasian diaspora. It is celebrated annually in the United States every September. Before the United States was established, Caucasians were a minority race outnumbered by Africans, Asians and even Indians; they were often negated to ghettos and inner slums in their native hometowns of Europe and the United Kingdom. The treatment of them were staggering, many of them were forced to panhandle for money because they could not find work from their black employers, many of them were also beaten up in a show of superiority from the police force of which few Caucasians were admitted. It was not until the beginning of the American revolution that the caucasians would see a massive rise in population, thus bringing them closer to their peers. With the establishment of the United States, the Caucasians made a place for their own; however, there was a huge problem in that African masters would often venture into the United States looking for Caucasian slaves. While enslaved, they were forced to do menial labor such as harvest crops and clean up the bathrooms of said Africans and whenever said Caucasian would get out of control, they'd be whipped or much worse, killed in front of their peers. (Full article...) Recently featured: UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid HowTo:Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic Biffy Clyro Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws? ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that the Qu'ran was originally taken from a page in the Thomas the Tank Engine activity and coloring book? (Pictured) ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that Earth is the best planet in the world? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS? ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050? ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws? ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that the Qu'ran was originally taken from a page in the Thomas the Tank Engine activity and coloring book? (Pictured) ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that Earth is the best planet in the world? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS? ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050? ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws? ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you? ... that the Qu'ran was originally taken from a page in the Thomas the Tank Engine activity and coloring book? (Pictured) ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that Earth is the best planet in the world? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that en passant is actually French for "inventing new rules as you go along?" ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS? ... that the Uncyclopedia Discord link contains a virus called which infects your computer with the Uncyclopedia Discord? ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050? ... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay? ... that the only way the bible could have more holes is if it were written on Jesus's skin? ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory? ... that torture is better to give than to receive? ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word? ... that sovereign citizens have all the rights of U.S citizens, without having to follow any of the laws? ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"? ... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?	In the news World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths: Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • *DMV* - the TV show, not the actual DMV. It ended on a cliffhanger: Everyone was still waiting for their number to be called. • Mr. Strickland Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora On this day... March 28: Turkey—the Country, not the Bird—Day 1453 - Constantinople wants to reinvent itself, changes name to Istanbul, but honestly everyone preferred Byzantium. 1784 - Benjamin Franklin proposes that the humble turkey be the national bird of the United States, since it's got a big juicy ass. 1871 - French revolutionaries form the Paris Commune, nascent leadership quickly devolves into squabbling over the finer points of Marx's Critique of the Gotha Program before getting skewered by French troops. 1979 - A nuclear meltdown in Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania actually mutates the population of Pittsburgh closer to normal. 1990 - George W. Bush gives the late Jesse Owens the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Bush now says he has black friend. 2018 - The traitor Gülen (Pictured) sits on his remote and changes the channel seconds before the climax to his favorite soap; God is with us brothers.
Today's featured picture Uncyclopedia Health Service - We couldn't save it, but I'll be damned if we couldn't package it up nicely and send it to you in a box. Image credit: Seeker View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You now only have 3, god dammit, 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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