Today's featured article
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Edward Christopher "Ed" [insert singular 3rd person subjective pronoun]eran (born 17 February 1991 - died NEVER) is a Canadian-British singer-songwriter, actor, owner of a bar in London, and Rupert Grint lookalike. He is also known as "Teddy" on Instagram. Additionally, he is considered to be the "one true god" of his home country, and even the entire world. Asides from that, he's known to the public as the "Ginger Jesus". Ed is arguably a fad of the year 2017 and also a British nationalist. Even though his career was meant to fade away at the end of the 2010s, he manages to still make music to this day, much to everyone's annoyances. He is known to have a lot of chart hits, especially in the UK, including "The B Team", "Untitled (Take Me Into Your Loving Arms)", "Nothing Happens After Two" and most infamously, "I'm Back & I'm Desperate". However, they are most likely plagiarized, but he still gets away with it. His private life isn't very well known, thanks to having no surveillance cameras in his home and the fact that the address to it is changed every day. Despite having a male given name, Ed somehow manages to have female pronouns as part of his surname, so, logically, he would've instantly became a "she" right away. Oh fuck, how do we go by them again?
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- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
- ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
- ... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
- ... that in the Mesozoic Era, toasters ruled the earth?
- ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores?
- ... the muffin man?
- ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
- ... that Calvin and Hobbes was an action-packed buddy comedy series that ran from 1542-1549, featuring philosophers John Calvin and Thomas Hobbes as themselves?
- ... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)
- ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass?
- ... that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
- ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
- ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now?
- ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
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