Today's featured article
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Good evening crew of the RMS Titanic. My name is Scuttlebutt, Sidney Scuttlebutt. I am the head of the exterior furniture section on this ship. My job is to provide deckchairs for the comfort of all First Class and Second Class passengers. Third Class passengers are not entitled to deckchairs so you will not need to show them how they work.
This may be the Titanic's maiden voyage but I am already a professional at the art of deckchair maintenance as I have worked on the Titanic's sister ship RMS Olympic. I believe a carefully prepared deckchair with the option of a blanket and cushion is essential if travellers want to take in the cold April air of 1912. So I will now demonstrate what we do.
What was that? You want to know more about the lifeboats? We can talk about that tomorrow. Those boats are to rescue people at sea, not the people here as this ship is unsinkable, made of steel that is light enough to float. There is no need to be worried. For those who really want to learn more about lifeboats, I understand Captain Smith will be holding a class tomorrow. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
 - ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that the White House is really off-white?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
 - ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that the White House is really off-white?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that Bill Cosby and Bing Crosby are the same person?
- ... that on average, humans have less than 2 legs?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that the White House is really off-white?
- ... that Jesus loves you, but that's probably not enough to get to heaven?
- ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
- ... that we all smell a little bit like teen spirit, if we go a while without washing?
- ... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
- ... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
- ... that there's a tunnel under Ocean Blvd?
- ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
- ... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
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In the news
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On this day...
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March 14: American π Day
- 27 AD - Greeks fight valiantly against Russell Crowe in a vast gladiatorial event to define π as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its radius.
- 435 AD - Pope Sixtus III denouces π, claiming it to be the work of Satan, as a number which never ends seems too cruel for a loving God to have made.
- 1603 - "American" Apple pie actually invented by the Aztecs, used as aphrodisiac.
- 1707 - The Physics Act of 1707 defines π to be 22/7, which scientists of the era proclaim as close enough.
- 1891 - The pie chart is first invented, sadly, the original prototype has long since been eaten. Future pie charts are now inedible.
- 2004 - The day Krabs fries
- 2005 - The Kansas Board of Education restores pi to its traditional value of three and a bit, stating, "Certain features of the universe are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as mathematics."
- 2020 - A resident of New York City passes away after contracting the π virus.
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