User:Zombiebaron/2010

Congratulations to former Uncyclopedian Blind "Zombiebaron" McTell on being named the host of "How Gay Are You, Sir," showing Tuesday nights at midnight on HGTV.

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia 2010, The home of creative wiki-based internet humor since 2005. 40,979 articles in English

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Today's featured article Much loved '50s, '60s and '70s entertainer Radio Star was found dead at home in Los Angeles County in 1982, aged 47. Radio Star's career had been waning for several years due to the increasing popularity of his rival, Video, and initial reports on the story suggested suicide was a likely cause. However, in a dramatic turn of events, the police announced they were treating the matter as a murder investigation, and shortly afterwards arrested Video for the crime. Radio Star had shot to popularity in the first half of the 20th century, and was a popular fixture on the wireless back in '52. Young people would lie awake intent at tuning in to him, and nothing stopped him coming through. The future was bright for Radio Star, and nothing seemed to stop his inexorable rise. Aided in his early career by the fact that there was nothing worth watching on TV, he monopolized the airwaves in a fashion not seen before or since (notable efforts by the ubiquitous Oprah Winfrey notwithstanding). In the '60s and '70s, he had to contend with a new rival – TV Star, whose hot new gimmicks included "visibility", "motion", and hippy chicks grooving along to the music. Unfortunately for TV Star though, his gimmicks at this time didn't include "endless playback of popular songs", meaning his exposure was limited, and Radio Star was able to survive this initial onslaught. However, it turned out that TV Star was just a forerunner of the much greater threat around the corner, a threat that was instigated by those fiendish international masterminds: Freddie Mercury and Queen. (Full article...) Recently featured: Bill Clinton Buffalo Bills UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured) ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class? ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell? ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now? ... that guilt tripping junk mail makes up 12% of Africa's GDP? (Pictured) ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads? ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun? ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured) ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class? ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell? ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now? ... that guilt tripping junk mail makes up 12% of Africa's GDP? (Pictured) ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads? ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun? ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured) ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class? ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell? ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now? ... that guilt tripping junk mail makes up 12% of Africa's GDP? (Pictured) ... pole dancing was introduced to Egyptian culture by Cleopatra? ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit? ... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true? ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science? ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches? ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads? ... conjuction verb noun preposition article verb noun? ... that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (Pictured) ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class? ... that not all of Ukraine is Russia, though Russia can't seem to tell? ... that the world will beat a path to your door if you build a better Mousetrap? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now?	In the news Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP On this day... April 4: National No Spamming Day (Iraq) 3141 BC - The world's first great pi was baked. It took $\pi$ years to eat. 1949 - Iceland's blundered declaration of war on the USA leads to the accidental formation of NATO. 1503 - Disneyland Central America opens in the Aztec city of Tenochtitlan. 1975 - You really should have bought shares in Microsoft, which was formed on this day. 1984 - President Ronald Reagan calls for an international ban on something or other, oh hell I can't remember. (Pictured) 2001 - The butterfly effect is proved in an ingenious experiment, causing devastating hurricane damage in China. 2002 - Actor Mickey Rooney begins his process of decomposition.
Today's featured picture The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you. Image credit: Mosquitopsu View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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