User:Zombiebaron/2010

Congratulations to former Uncyclopedian Blind "Zombiebaron" McTell on being named the host of "How Gay Are You, Sir," showing Tuesday nights at midnight on HGTV.

The Poo Lit Surprise winners have been announced! Thanks to everyone who participated.

Welcome to Uncyclopedia 2010, The home of creative wiki-based internet humor since 2005. 40,970 articles in English

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Today's featured article Orchids are a special family of temptress flowers that bloom around June, totally unlike conservative flowers with upstanding morals and family values. They have delicate bodies, slim stems, and deep orifices, with small follicles emanating from their lower inner region that open up once every 28 days or so to emit a rather fishy yet surprisingly fragrant scent in order to attract insects, which will invade their insides to help pollinate them. Orchids are considered to be some of the most scrumptious flowers in the plant kingdom, and they are also utterly insatiable. No amount of pollination is enough. Whereas almost all other flowers would be satisfied with one insect pollinator per day, for Orchids, no amount of frequent diverse visitors is enough. They are so good at seduction, bumble bees are known to fight one another to the death in their attempt to mount the stamens of orchids and destroy their tall slender legs in the process. Only the strongest bees with the most cunning, deceptive, and charismatic qualities are able to beat other bees during the frenzied orchid mating season. (Full article...) Recently featured: HowTo:Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic Biffy Clyro Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really. ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?" ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris? ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really. ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?" ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris? ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really. ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?" ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE! ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat? ... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state? ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris? ... that abstinence is only 99.999% effective? ... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox? ... that contrary to popular belief, the emoticon ":3" is a depiction of someone with a scrotum for a mouth? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really. ... that people residing or visiting Canada often ask themselves, "Why am I in Canada?" ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind? ... that Wikipedia features DYKs about mosaic floors that were discovered between 1932 and 1939? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that removing the rubber bands from the claws of a Lobster can result in oh god get it off get it OFF OH GOD MY FACE!	In the news World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn Awards • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? • Chuck Norris doesn't fuckin' die, the hospital survived Chuck Norris • Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller Upcoming deaths: Dancin' Maduro • Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity On this day... March 23: Take Your Fish To Work Day 139 AD - Roman historian Erraticus publishes the fourth version of Life of Trajan, this one portaying Trajan as an emperor and retracting the previous version's claims that Trajan was a talking donkey. 1097 - St. Peter's Basilica was first used outside of the Vatican city during the first Crusades. 1952 - Beloved British children's author Enid Blyton publishes her most famous work, The Three Golliwogs. Please don't google it. 1956 - Pakistan declares itself to be an Islamic Republic, which is like the Old Republic except without the Jedi. 1962 - Dozens of women march on Washington D.C. to politely request feminine rights, their husbands sit at home without their supper. 1974 - The last dirty liberal is sent to serve in the Vietnam War, rendering America a perfect utopia of conservatives for nearly eighteen months.
Today's featured picture Adobe Potatochop is the industry standard software for chip production amongst chip shops the length and breadth of England. Available with a number of plugins, including the most recent 'extra crispy' update, it is, along with Adobe Suppersready one of Adobe's most well known pieces of software. Image credit: Mhaille View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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