Hello, Soviet912, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.
If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!
Turb0-Sunrise(Yell at me) 15:43, 17 September 2025 (UTC)
Hello, Soviet912, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.
If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!
Turb0-Sunrise(Yell at me) 15:43, 17 September 2025 (UTC)
Hello, Soviet912, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Unfortunately, we've noticed that your contributions - not to put too fine a point on it - have been crap. Basically, we think you're a spammer/vandal/10-year-old. But don't despair! We have ways to make you talk.. ahem. I mean, there are ways to get you out of this mess.
If you read anything at all, make it the above four links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these:
Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue
Good luck and I'm sorry you got off to such a bad start. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
If you need help or think this template has been placed unfairly, please ask me or an admin on their talk page, rather than going bat-fuck-insane. Alternatively you can ask at the Dump, or add the following: {{help}} to this page along with a message and someone will come along and help you if they can. Again, welcome!
Turb0-Sunrise(Yell at me) 15:43, 17 September 2025 (UTC)
Why did you add βOh dearβ 3 times? Soviet912 (talk) 15:44, 17 September 2025 (UTC)
I honestly have no idea. I swear i did it only once. Turb0-Sunrise(Yell at me) 15:45, 17 September 2025 (UTC)
Hello Soviet, and thank you for your contribs, however, i have noticed that you are replying to topics the wrong way.
To reply to a post, make sure you add a : before the text of the reply, that way you're actually replying and not just adding text.
And to reply to replies, just add another : depending on how many : the reply has.
For example, reply with :Example ~~~~ to posts instead of Example ~~~~. And to reply to other replies, reply with ::Example ~~~~ to :Example ~~~~, reply :::Example ~~~~ to ::Example ~~~~, and so on.
A new forum topic, Ask Turb0, has opened up. The forum allows people like you to ask Turb0-Sunrise questions about anything. that's right, anything. The top 5 questions each week get on the USP. Like, we need questions. Please.
Gerg's Shitroom author Gergdown and I are considering a merger. Does this really matter? No. Will anything change? No. And the merger actually happened. Will the world implode? Find out next on Uncyclopedia: The Soap Opera!
Within the past month or so, several new users have popped up. Soviet, Teh Epik Duck, DestructiveCriticism, and LavaLampDrinker, just to name a few. Is this the Uncyclopedia comeback we've been waiting for for the past 12 years or so? Or is it false hope? Only time will tell.
Biopic
Soviet, one of the newest users on the site, has been a prime contributer to the ASBOxAAT series, notably helping black out the whole canvas in the small version of ASBOPAAT, and creating a large Canada leaf that Fish better not turn purple! in the big version.
What are some of the best hiking trails on the Presidential Range? -OPOSSUM β [nil {{{u1}}}]
In short, Jewell Trail, Tuckerman Ravine Trail, and the Crawford Path.
Which is more versatile, big sticks or pool noodles? -OPOSSUM again β [nil {{{u2}}}]
Big sticks, as they can be used for all things pool noodles can be used for, save cannons.
U got a big stick? ( Ν‘Β° ΝΚ Ν‘Β°) -OPOSSUM yet again β [nil {{{u3}}}]
Perchance.
why do you guys in new england call shit different things, why do you call water coolers "bubblers", why do you guys call "cold" as 31*F and not -1*C, ect. -Gergdown surprisingly β [nil {{{u4}}}]
I don't know about the bubbler thing, but we do call remote controls "clickers" up here. And -1*c is basically the same as 31*f, so it's about the same.
How many hours of sleep do you get? -Soviet β [nil {{{u5}}}]
I get your userpage was deliberately empty so that your user link would stay red, but it's better to have a userpage if you're going to be editing articles and participating in this wiki. If you want a link to your userpage to be red, you can always edit your signature so that the link stays red. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 13:00, 20 October 2025 (UTC)
The 2025 Atlantic hurricane season's newest fuck-buddy, TropicalPanther Storm Melissa, has formed, and is expected to hit just about anywhere from Costa Rica to Florida. Give it to Florida! HIT MIAMI! Or just do nothing and give some Caribbeans a bath whether they like it or not.
TropicalPanther's newest childish obsession, the furry/musician[citation needed] Yonkagor, is getting out of hand. Panther's escapades include attempting to turn LPTEW into a forum about it, among other things. What Panther doesn't realize, is that even though I've never even heard of it, I can already tell that it sucks.
Notable[Of course not!] user Gergdown has been nommed for adminship by yours truly. It's not going so well. Somehow, it sits at 0, and get this: Gerg hasn't even voted for himself yet.
"Erm, actually, if you check everybody's noms on VFS, nobody actually has voted for themselves yet π€ also give me half an year and then nom me again π€ π€ π€" β Gergdown
The epidemic of spooky signs is almost over, hopefully. It all started when I made up a new "spookysig" featuring purple and orange as opposed to my normal eye-burning pink, Hatsune Miku blue, and neon brown. Turb0-SunSpookrise, Esquire joined in the fun when he made up his own spooky signature. A newcomer, Teh Epik Duck, also made a spooky signature, rebranding himself as Teh Spooky Duck and putting an additional color in there, green. Who will be the next to become spooky? ALL-CAPS MARSUPIAL? Oneshot Bird, perhaps? Maybe even Daniel Pinus the 3rd? Anything goes when it's spooky sig season!
Local hozer and resident dumbass Gergdown has finally done something useful for Onwards to Boston, uploading probably one of the best songs ever, "Dirty Water" by The Standells. You can listen right over there on the right.
After stealing various stuff from Gerg, Turb0-Sunrise's user and talk pages actually kick ass now. Seriously. Go look at them. The talk page header is particularly nice. Gerg's headers are neat too. Check those out.
Apparently, many users are not who they think they are. According to Gerg, Alula and DaniPine3 are the same person, Opossum is ASSGORE DREEMURR, Big MOCCASIN Billy is the Friend Inside Me, Knife Guy is THE ROARING KNIGHT, and I'm Toby Fox. Ask him about it.
what do you plan on doing for the rest of your uncyclopedian career? -Gergdown β [nil {{{u1}}}]
Your mom!
if i were to turn you into a bigfin squid would you become Turb0-Squidrise? -number dude β [nil {{{u2}}}]
bluug blorp blub.
the vancouverite sojourn paradox: since vancouverite sojourn has music, templates, and images, and has more pages than efo, is it technically mitk 2.5? -gerg β [nil {{{u3}}}]
βYeah peepee poopoo bitch, you're a person who got divorced by Tony fucking Montana.β -Gergdown
If you are over 18 and a smoking hot firefighter, you could also piss on me. -Shabidoo
I think I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to move your user page to something else without leaving a redirect, no? I think I can help since I have rollback (don't ask how that's related). --DameFishonskatesCUN 19:06, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
@Fish on skates: Yeah that's what I'm trying to do but every time I move my userpage it always leaves a redirect. Also, your help would be appreciated. SovieΡβ 20:45, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
@Fish on skates: @OPOSSUM: Can you guys please stop? I get Soviet wants to have their userpage link red on purpose but I'm pretty sure that goes against the signature guidelines. Soviet, if you really want to have your userpage fully deleted, you should first ask us admins if it's a good idea or not. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 21:25, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
You could also make it a fake redlink. --DameFishonskatesCUN 21:27, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
@Soviet: Just want to let you know, if you want the link to your userpage to look red in recent changes and page histories and stuff for you while having a userpage, you could add the following code to your common.css page (without the code tags, obviously):
.mw-userlink[title="User:Soviet"] {color:#ba0000}
Hope this helps. Maybe. 21:30, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
@Alula: Alright I will do that. Thanks. SovieΡβ 21:45, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
@Alula: Aw man, it doesn't work on mobile. SovieΡβ 23:58, 10 November 2025 (UTC)
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!! TropicalPanther, probably the luckiest user on the site[1] had been banned. This came after repeatedly creating a sucky UnNews. Originally allowed talkpage access, Panther then threatened to SUE Uncyclopedia. First off, for what? Second off, with what lawyer?
Along with several random user's pages,[2] some dick of an IP decided to go on a vandal spree.
It was about 10:30 PM ETC. Me, Gerg, Zorua, and OPOSSUM were the only ones awake. Suddenly, racoons vandalism. Some IP "blanking" pages with a clever bit of wikitext. Then it escalated. Quickly. Full-on blankings, calling us cunts, and a whole shit-ton of other stuff. Fun times.
Do you know what a kilometer is? β [nil {{{u2}}}]
no
Face reveal when? β [nil {{{u3}}}]
no
What country are you from? β [nil {{{u4}}}]
What do you think
You like 3d modeling? -Soviet β [nil {{{u5}}}]
Ya like jazz?
From The Logs
09:47, 18 November 2025 DaniPine3 blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 5 seconds (autoblock disabled) (requested by Turb0-Sunrise: i'm a prick who edit conflicts people for no good reason)
10:04, 16 November 2025 Alula blocked TropicalPanther with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (don't say i didn't warn you)
00:14, 19 November 2025 Alula changed block settings for TropicalPanther with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (making legal threaths and stuff)
Eh, it's been mostly quiet over the past week or so. LPTEW got archived, I made some new sigs, the Yankees still suck, and everybody's having a gay fun old time.
Rounded to the nearest millennium, how old are you? β Fish on skates
0
From The Logs
09:47, 18 November 2025 DaniPine3 blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 5 seconds (autoblock disabled) (requested by Turb0-Sunrise: i'm a prick who edit conflicts people for no good reason)
10:04, 16 November 2025 Alula blocked TropicalPanther with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (don't say i didn't warn you)
00:14, 19 November 2025 Alula changed block settings for TropicalPanther with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (making legal threaths and stuff)
You've told me to not upload a completely different photo, but I don't have an option to replace the file.
Unless I mistook the page, I am seeing a "You cannot overwrite this file." notice.
β Preceding unsigned comment added by Ziv (talk β’ contribs)
@Ziv: it might be becaue you've not been around on the wiki enough for the system to consider you a confirmed user. However any admin (like me) can change that real quick. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 19:13, 27 November 2025 (UTC)
@DaniPine3: That would be great, could I please get autoconfirmed? - User:ziv (talk)
@Ziv: k. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 19:38, 27 November 2025 (UTC)
@Ziv: Done πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 19:59, 27 November 2025 (UTC)
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
December 3, 2025 β’ Issue #232 β’ The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHHCurrent issue β’ Archives β’ Press Room
The UnSignpost wants writers, just like YOU! Please message Head ShitslingerTM Turb0-Sunrise here. You get a pair of gloves so your hands don't smell, as well as a chance to get looked at funny by your peers. Offer stands until Christmas, so hurry your ass up and get in here!
Man, where is all the action lately? It's so quiet around here. We have 180 "active" editors, but nothing's happening. I guess a MITK page got vandalized. Gerg updated the Shitroom design, but other than that, nothing really.
RealDonaldTrump, resident President and one of our template experts, managed to break a very important template. After making an edit to Template:Big, something happened. Hundreds of pages only displaying numbers where there once was big text. After a message to Alula, it was fixed and now everything is fine again.[citation needed]
We've switched to a new numerical system for identifying issues. It should work better for me, and also cuts down on bytes when messaging, albeit only by a few.
Well sometimes it was an account that didn't get ported, so something like this happened. Turb0-Sunrise de la Merry Christmas 20:39, 3 December 2025 (UTC)
since all the accounts did get ported to the .com version of Uncyclopedia, you can actually see what that user did back in 2010. you can see it through this link. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 20:42, 3 December 2025 (UTC)
Wowzicle, you joined the GS Delivery! Here's some shit:[edit source]
If you don't know, we do daily issues. We put each issue in this tiny box right 'ere:
After so long... yes, I copied this from the previous issue. I really am a LaziBum too, huh.
After my fever got worse, and after I pushed myself TO THE LIMIT! Every Zana template has been busted. I've added this part to the essay Uncyclopedia:How Zana Dark ruined the site, stating this:
βOn the 6th of December, 2025, two users by the names of DaniPine3 and Gergdown brought the end to every single Zana template. After Gerg made a list of every Zana template, both users worked together to bust each and every template. Since the template remover script was broken, they had to bust every template by hand. (Most of the time, the templates that were busted just had to go through either optimization or a renaming.) At 16:37 UTC, the final template that had to be busted (Template:Cassette) was fixed and optimized by Gerg, bringing the end of Zana's reign on this website. Some tiny work still has to be done, but the seemingly impossible task of fixing every Zana template was completed.β
β That essay
Welp, I have to go to bed now. This fever is really ruining my day.
Former Uncyclopedian user Romartus has recently came back! After he left this website to join The Spoon[note 1], he has taken very long breaks from this website. The last time he edited (until now) was on April 30th, 2025, when he added a message to Leverage's talk page. But right now, on this day, this very boring day (besides the fact that my piss was orange today)[note 2], he has edited Uncyclopedia:How Zana Dark ruined the site's talk page! Due to Romartus being a long-time veteran of the website, he has had quite the experience with Zana Dark. By the way, unrelated topic, but instead of calling someone "fallen into the Dark One's grasp"[note 3], say that they fell into the Dark Side. But that's not important here or there; so here's what Romartus said:
βInteresting article about Zana Dark. Seems she saved up her worst after officially leaving the Spoon in September 2015 to come here as part of a revenge mission. Strange person.β
β Romartus
After DaniPine3 responded to his initial message, Romartus replied by saying this:
βHello Dani Pine. Zana was an interesting writer but had serious issues with the admins of the day. Was always getting banned. Since the Fork has scrubbed her talk pages (or made it difficult to find them), a full list of her dramas are still on the Spoon. I have added a comment as it was about a user from the pre-schism days. :)β
β Romartus
Wow, she really was a dick before she even stepped foot onto this website.
The Tiny Events
NOTHING.
Nothing ever happens, bro.
So, I've devised a plan for any day that has practically no major events happening. I'll just quickly run down all the minor things that have happened today. This should keep the same integrity of what this newspaper was made for, while saving me time, and figuring out what to write when some random user shat their pants at 3 AM.
I just realized that I forgot to add an "Ask Gerg" section here.
I tell the world that I have gained the Black Death. (Well, actually, since I'm Albertan, it's actually impossible to get it here.)
My piss was brown today.
I promised to finish Vancouverite Sojourn: The Room in Back "soon".
After two months and eleven days, the end of Gerg's Shitroom is near.Gergdown has now just posted onto Turb0-Sunrise's talk page about a renaming of Gerg's Shitroom to The Daily News. The proposal states that the new newspaper will have anyone able to edit it, while keeping its daily factor. Details about where the new project is headed is scarceβnot even a new page has made since. But who knows! Maybe this will overtake the UnSignpost. Probably not.
Fish on Skates becomes a lead writer on the UnSignpost
Two writers?? On the UnSignpost?? Impossible!
Occurring after a recent hiring event in which Turb0-Sunrise asked people to help him write the UnSignposts, user Fish on skates has taken the role of becoming a lead writer as well as Turb0. She has recently written the newest issue, writing three new stories in the issue. You can really see the difference in their writing styles. Go to the previous issue, and see the newest one. Oh well. Will this revive the UnSignpost? Although they have, like, ten users subscribed?
Oh Phew, It Turns Out Panther Isn't Back
Panther, apparently
I goofed up!
Turmoil was kickstarted on a Thursday afternoon after a user created a vanity article in the Philippines about YonKaGor. YonKaGor! Like Panther's obsession! And now since Panther recently got banned, it was not out of the ordinary that Panther may've come back with a sock-puppet. The user's name was FebruaryHas30Days. They were blocked by DaniPine3 since he initially thought that TropicalPanther came back. However, Alula did a bit more fact-checking (checking where the user came from), and figured out they were from the Philippines, and not South Korea, where Panther lives. Well, they aren't back. That's all you need to know.
Fuck Around and Find Out gets featured
"One more for my score", Turb0 says (probably)
Fuck Around and Find Out has been featured! That's all.
Repeating the trend from October with the spooky signatures, Fish on skates has made her own Christmas-themed signature that looks suspiciously like DaniPine3's uhh... year-round signature. And, also repeating the trend, Turb0-Sunrise has come out with a "Christmas" signature of his own, suspiciously shortly after Fish showed hers off. OPOSSUM has also jumped on the bandwagon with a popup sig featuring, among other things, the disclosure of a relationship with Krampus and the accusation of presumed-dead user Squaw Dee being Santa's ninth reindeer.
Resident no-lifer and hockey lover Gergdown has been nominated for UOTM after RealDonaldTrump's smashing success last month. The outcome looks good so far, but you never know what can change in a month. Will Gerg be the last UOTM of 2025? Will a new contender rise to the challenge? Will the author stop talking like the back cover of a book? You'll just have to wait and see.
If pigs flew and I ran for admin, what would you vote? β Fish on skates
You can vote for multiple people, you know that?
From The Logs
23:56, 3 December 2025 DaniPine3 (talk | contribs) blocked Fish on skates (talk | contribs) with an expiration time of 3 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled, email disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (Turb0 told me to (for making a fatal grammatical mistake))
THE JUMBO WHALE RISES! Then falls to smash you.[edit source]
MEGA SMASHA!
You've been squished by a jimbo whale!
Please take this very seriously: DaniPine3 wants to let you know that you did something jimbo silly, which may or may not include creating Wikipedia oops sorry, wrong person. Your reasoning for being smashed by a whale is: breaking Template:Vote table and, with it, several vfh nominations πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 01:11, 13 December 2025 (UTC).
Sorry, just tried to make it clearer since Nacky, a user here since 2006 was confused. Sovietβ(Ask for free votes) 01:19, 13 December 2025 (UTC)
no, it's okay, don't worry. just letting you know that if you try to hide a text with <!---, then you should NOT end it in the same way, with ---!>, as it will not work and will just hide everything past that. You actually have to end it with ---!>, without the exclamation mark. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 01:25, 13 December 2025 (UTC)
Well, I didn't mean to be confused. I don't really do much of anything here except come up with articles. And pics and gifs. I was in the Moo Mafia back in the day, but nowadays I just get confused more often. Nacky (talk) 04:14, 13 December 2025 (UTC)
You've been squished by a jimbo whale!
Please take this very seriously: Turb0-Sunrise wants to let you know that you did something jimbo silly, which may or may not include creating Wikipedia oops sorry, wrong person. Your reasoning for being smashed by a whale is: putting a whole WORD on ASBOLAAT.
I'm sorry, sometimes I just don't read the page title and assume ASBOLAAT is ASBOWAAT. Sovietβ(Ask for free votes) 02:27, 14 December 2025 (UTC)
Just when we least expected it, Walbro has come back and created two new articles with ridiculously long titles mentioning Donald Trump and MrX. Turb0-Sunrise listed both for QVFD and told all on LPTEW, saying that he "FUCKIN' PREDICTED IT". Worst 100 Reflections on 2025 was updated accordingly.
Remember the first issue I wrote, when I said, "Looks like Taylor Swift got engaged to the whole team"? Well there may need to be a breakup song soon. Interception, boom, they're out of the playoffs. Suck it, walrus.
Recently, 6-7 on Uncyclopedia has been getting out of hand. It first started with 6-7 UnNews articles then the 6-7 article and finally the Forum to ban 6-7. The banning of 6-7 was decided by a vote with three 6-7 opposers arguing that there was way too much 6-7 and three people for 6-7. Thus 6-7 stayed.
On A story built one word at a time, relative newcomer and drug dealer Gammakid999 mentioned me, yes ME in their edit summaries, asking why I got blocked and where the UnSignpost was. This makes two times that I have been mentioned by name in ASBOWAAT. And yes, I did get blocked again. I requested it just like Gerg did when he took an uncyclobreak.
Biopic
Let me tell you a story. A story about a town down on the river, where there's a bunch of Dirty Water. You see, this area is home to the species known as Turb0s. This species is also commonly found in ASBOSAAT. It is a yellow sphere with hairy legs, huge penises, and a big blue cap. GO SOX! FUCK THE YANKEES! YANKEES SUCK!
18:22, 13 December 2025 DaniPine3 (talk | contribs) protected 6-7 (meme) [Edit=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) [Move=Allow only autoconfirmed users] (indefinite) (preventing potential vandalism from 6 to 7 years old kids)
"Vandalism. This vandalism only exists to increase the number of people who have vandalized this page. If I do get banned, then there will be a ratio of 6:3. If I don't get banned, there will be a ratio of 6:2. I'm Gerg, and I vandalized Turb0's user page. Not because of any spite, but because I wanted to increase the number of people who have vandalized this page (6). In fact, thank you Turb0 for editing my article (Edit farm). Well, I'm not Gerg. I have body swapped with a 10 year old. I don't know where I am, but I hate it here. I'm 10, and I miss my mommy. I love the parts of movies that contain feet. That's right, I'm 10 and I'm horny for feet. I ejaculate, and I'm 10! Sadly, in this body, I feel like I'm about to puke it after I said that, meaning that this person that I've swapped with needs to improve their horniness positivity. Oh well. How long can I extend this manifesto? Oh well. Ass. Ass. Ass. Boobies. Aw dang, it's getting late, mate! Oh well. Is Turb0 even awake? Who knows! Can he even revert this? Who knows!
Please revert this." β Gerg
Notes
I think the paperbot forgot that she had to send deez out. Deez, as in deez nuts all over your face! Hah! Dick jokes are the pinnacle of comedy. By the way, don't ask what I did with Gerg's Shitroom... π gergdownπ(talk) π 00:09, 20 December 2025 (UTC)
Greetings. Since I don't have a phone (yet), I must do this.
Get wTools. You can do it by going into your common js file at put mw.loader.load('//meta.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?title=User:L10nM4st3r/wToolCore.js&action=raw&ctype=text/javascript'); in. Actually, nvm, you already did this. Skip this.
Replace the entire forum with AAAAAAAAAAAAA! and have your edit summary be AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! This activates the "replaced" and "AAAAAAAAA!" tags.
Blank the entire forum. This is a part of the next steps.
On December 16 or 17, I asked DaniPine3 to block me until the 19th because reasons. However, I had not accounted for who would deliver the UnSignpost, figuring Turb0-Sunrise would do it. Little did I know, Turb0 had taken his name off the paperbots list, leaving me as the sole UnSignpost deliverer. This was appropriately reacted to by several editors. And might I remind you that when you sign up for UnSignpost home delivery by putting the template on your talk page, you agree not to sue?
I've been here only a few months, but these few have been amazing. Lots of laughs, 5 featured articles, YANKEES SUCK, and so much more.
Through hundreds of rollbacks, so much has changed since July. New users, A fewoldones coming back, and a whole lot of moccasins. As the sun sets on another year, do remember that I'm under the mistletoe right now. :3
Lovingly yours,[nuh uh]
Greetings comrade! Here's your daily issue of the daily news. I've fixed the code (cough cough nuked it) to make sure that the title works again, so that {{Title}} template doesn't have to be added to your talk page.
Yep! The first issue of The Daily News is out now! If it wasn't, you wouldn't be reading it. Duh. After being started on September 30th by a singular user, this simple shitpost quickly grew to be in competition with the UnSignpost, then to be merged with the UnSignpost, to finally being a direct subpage of the UnSignpost with a renaming and a complete revamp of everything.
Will this new busines – er, I mean passion project be successful? Or will a second blockbuster hit the Uncyclopedian servers? Learn more in the Future!
This is what the game looks like. Lots of fucking everywhere.
Would Oooga booga: A New Way Home be the name of the sequel? By Gergdown
That's right! To end of the season, user OPOSSUM has released the game UnGames:OBS 9000BC. Well, it's actually called the OOGA BOOGA SIMULATOR 9000 B.C., but OBS is a nicer acronym, and it also has the same acronym as the video recording software. The game has you put yourself in the shoes of a tribesman named Hooga-Chaka who must defend his tribe from an attacking tribe. The setting takes place in a now-sunken part of the Bering Strait. As of now, only OPOSSUM is allowed to edit it, according to the rules. Will this be as grand as Escape from Ojai? Probably not. That's what he said, actually.
Gergdown has requested a block for a few days so he can focus on his Deltarune mod. He made a deal that if he doesn't finish the beta in time, he'll have to sing several songs (including The Intense Voice of Hatsune Miku) and change his name back to Theultimategergdown. This block was taken advantage of by Turb0-Sunrise and I when we mildly vandalized the Chanada leaf in an image built one pixel at a time, which Gerg responded to on his talk page. This resulted in an agreement between Gerg, Turb0, and me that if the Chanada leaf only has two purple pixels, the Bostonian national anthem Dirty Water will be added to the list of songs.
Userpages for VFD
By Fish again
Soviet has nominated their userpage for VFD in an effort to finally have it deleted for some reason. Some people want it gone, and some people might want it to stay. Both sides make pretty good points--no technical issues seem to occur, but there could be a rule against it.
Then Turb0-Sunrise turned it into something completely different by nominating his own userpage for VFD.
After several years, DeletedUser0001 has finally been deleted. It all started when DeletedUser0001 requested account vanishing on Zombiebaron's talk page. Zombiebaron complied with the request and renamed DeletedUser0001. For whatever reason, Zombiebaron didn't delete his user page or talk page leaving DeletedUser0001 ironically not deleted. It wasn't until several years later when I found out DeletedUser0001's user page wasn't deleted. I informed Alula about this and DeletedUser0001's user page was finally deleted.
Today, Gergdown has won Uncyclopedian of the Month (UOTM) with a score of nine. On December 22nd, a few days before the nominations ended, Gergdown elegantly said,
β
Thou who don'te voteth for me will be declared a TRAITORE to the Greate Gerg Empire! So you bettere voteth for me... OR ELSE THE WARRIOR, GERG, will eateth you whole! So pleaseth, don'teth be eaten.
β
Coincidentally, three users voted for him on the same day. Gergdown was also blocked for three days during the nomination possibly making him the first person to win UOTM while blocked. It should also be noted that Gergdown was the only nomination.
With Turb0-Sunrise's Christmas card, I thought I'd make a personal template of my own. And with a bit of sporked wikitext trickery, Uncyclopedia Wrapped is coming to a talk page near you.
It's been a wild 20th year of Uncyclopedia. Several new people joining, the continued making and purging of ASBOWAATs, tons upon tons of Deltarot (Deltarune brainrot), the return of the UnSignpost, memes abound, YANKEES SUCK!, and The Daily News.
THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!!! Two people who haven't been heard from in a while have started editing Uncyclopedia again. Funnily enough, Page continues to describe herself as an "UnSignpost everythinger", a title which would be more fitting for Turb0 or Fish at this point.
Priest Goofball is the main boss of Deltarune chapter 4. His hobbies include chess, preaching, and being the main boss of Deltarune chapter 4. Did I mention that he's the main boss of Deltarune chapter 4?
18:32, 28 December 2025 DaniPine3 (talkcontribs) changed block settings for Gergdown (talk | contribs) with an expiration time of 15:26, 31 December 2025 (account creation disabled) (asked for it (again))
The Daily News is officially in print... well, not print. You get the point. Put {{The Daily News}} on your talk page to get daily spam in addition to your weekly spam!
Quote(s) of the Week
βEducation is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing that is worth knowing can be taught.β
Following a conversation on the talk page of the Daily News, we have decided to do really short ones on Wednesdays. Enjoy your really short news. Keep in mind that this is because the UnSignpost releases a new issue on Wednesdays.
MK gets nominated for WOTM and the banner begging you to vote for the next FA gets changed. Now it begs you to vote for the top 10 articles of 2025 like Wikipedia begging you donate.
On the topic of the Top 10, Video essay currently has 36 points, the highest of any article so far. Its closest rival is Road Rage, sitting at 35 points.
January 1, 2026 β’ Issue #237 β’ Reading This Is The Mysterious Second Step To Getting Profit From Stealing Childrens' Underwear!Current issue β’ Archives β’ Press Room
After having my the UnSignpost stolen revived by Turb0-Sunrise and Fish on skates, going on monthly month-long hiatuses for 3 years (what do you mean it's been 3 years since I was active???), and forgetting Uncyclopedia's existence despite frequently lurking in its discord server, I have forgotten how to write an UnSignpost. How do I use the template (which I myself modified back in 2022)? What do all these inputs mean? How do I write things? I'm quite sure the UnSignpost wrapper used to be centered! What's even happening in this site these days? AAAAAAAAA!
Anyway, it should be January 2026 for everyone here, right? ... Right? So, first UnSignpost of the year goes to me. I sure do love collecting meaningless achievements and titles!
...gosh, what do I even do here anymore? What am I allowed to put in this signpost, again?
As it is now 2026, the possibility for tomorrow to be the release day of Deltarune Chapter 5 has become existent once more. Despite the halfway mark of their game having been attained, new chapters are not likely to stop the insanity of Deltarune fans. Assuming Chapter 5 is not shadow-dropped and instead has a release date announced, the world will once again have a day where "tomorrow" means "the day after today" instead of "the day a new chapter of Deltarune releases". Once that happens, there will only be up to 2 Deltarune Tomorrows until the world's concept of tomorrow returns to something that doesn't always mean Deltarune.
Biopic
I don't know what a biopic is
From The Logs
*plant noises.ogg*
*animal noises.ogg*
Oh, it meant stuff like Special:Log and stuff. Well, gotta use these sounds I recorded from inside a literal log somehow. We're keeping it in.
Holy. Fucking. FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
With the new year comes the yearly awards. The scramble of the top 10. The xOTY nominations.
Alright, let's get the fuck down to business.
First off, I have a UOTM nomination open. I have 7 votes already. side note, you should vote for me. side note over.
Now, I have a UOTY too. But that's not the end of it. don't waste your time here
Some dude Turb0-Sunrise has officially got 10,000 edits as of January 6, 2026. He's only been on here for like 5 months. To put that in perspective, Alula has been around since late 2021 and has around 30,000 edits. You do the math.
ColonelKurtz, who took an involuntary unbreak back in October, has returned. Here's hoping he learned from whatever brought on that involuntary break!
Biopic
This biopic is about biopics. There are many different ways to write them, but I'm trying out writing them in the style of ARandomPage, who half the time treats this section as another story. I'm lazy, etc. On to the fanmail!
After much persistance, you finally got what you wanted: Your userpage got deleted. I hope you're happy. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 09:42, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
It was a decision taken by an admin that has been here much longer than I, so I guess it was permissable after all... btw, while I'm at it, do you think I could ask you to do something with your bot? πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 13:29, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
do you think you could move all the UnNews categorized in Category:Religion to Category:UnNews Religion? that way the main topic category is less clogged. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 13:56, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
Bro, that's fucking awesome. Congratulations! Now I want my userpage deleted. Just kidding... for now! OαΓΆααααHey, that tickles!(vandalize my talk page) 15:07, 11 January 2026 (UTC)
Template:UnMedia is transcluded in a ton of pages, and I'd like to change that. Do you think you could use your bot to removed all instances of where this template is transcluded? Then I'll add it myself on pages that are direcly related to mass media. πππDaniPine3 (talk)πππ 13:11, 13 January 2026 (UTC)
Continuing on the "was here" userbox trend where people make userboxes saying they were here, Gammakid999, MK, and L10nM4st3r have userboxes of their own.
OPOSSUM made a contest for the title of "Moccasin Man" because he's done with moccasins.Soviet's Bot won by putting the most moccasins on OPOSSUM's userpage.
US President RealDonaldTrump made Testing the VFH widget (again) (do not feature!), a page that was meant to test some new feature. Turb0 then voted on its VFH page, with many others including me and several admins voting. Because I think I'm sooo clever, I made a VFH page for the VFH. And because Turbs also thinks he's soooo clever, he made a VFH page for that, and a VFH page for that. Gergdown also contributed somewhat to the joke. Alula later deleted the test page and closed all of the nominations.
Biopic
Cassie, also known as Cassandra, is a bureaucrat I'm pretty sure, and has been around for a long time. Anyway, she's not dead. Pretty sure. She's on the active users template and I hope she stays a while.
19:05, 14 January 2026 Alula (talk | contribs) blocked Turb0-Sunrise (talk | contribs) with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (clearly learnt his lesson from last time. oh wait)
Abuse filter blocked MK with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) β(Blocked by abuse filter. Description of matched rule: Mandatory cancellation)
L10nM4st3r and DaniPine3 blocked each other and unblocked themselves a lot. The entertaining edit summaries were "Not banned enough yet", "blocking me when i did nothing >:[", ">:]", "Finger slipped", "Finger slipped again", and "banged my head on the keyboard". See for yourself.
You, yes YOU, can rank some Uncyclopedian-made songs! Part of the hit albums Make it to Ketchikan and Bust into Boston these noises you hear before you can be ranked for the second time! So what are you waiting for?
Biopic
In the span of some time that I'm too lazy to count, Deemox has gone from a total noob to a slightly less total noob. He's already made an article and in my humble opinion has quite a lot of potential.
Are the allegations true? I'm not going to elaborate, for comedic effect. β Gammakid999
yes and no at the same time
favorite non-ASBOWAAT article that you didn't write β Fish on skates
uhh get back to me on that one
From The Logs
20:20, 19 January 2026 L10nM4st3r blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 10 minutes (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (Not banned enough yet)
20:21, 19 January 2026 DaniPine3 blocked L10nM4st3r with an expiration time of 10 seconds (account creation disabled, cannot edit own talk page) (blocking me when I did nothing >:[)
I might be stupid or I just can't ping you.[edit source]
I think it's because your User page got deleted. Purplexed (talk)
No, I get pinged just fine. I think it's because my user page was created then deleted because when I was a new user I never got pinged. Sovietβ(Ask for free votes) 21:00, 22 January 2026 (UTC)
) above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.
Done
