Chip Whistler
| Chip Whistler | |
|---|---|
| Big Trumpist Greens character | |
 Chip Whistler holding a petition to destroy the Green family's house... while staring deeply into your soul… | |
| First appearance | "Chipocalypse Now"[1] |
| In-universe information | |
| Alias | Norm Alguy |
| Species | Politiciani americanus |
| Gender | Male |
| Occupation | CEO, Politician |
| Nationality | American |
“I will destroy Cricket Green's Family!”
– Chip Whistler and Donald Trump
Chip Crisp Dorito Chippendale Trump Whistler is the main antagonist of the Disney Channel animated propaganda series Big Trumpist Greens. He is an American political wannabe who is the CEO of the company Wholesome Foods. He is known for attempting to destroy the Greens house and is also a member of BTS.[2] Chip Whistler is 20 years old. He is a man boy. He was born on: What's [the current year] - 20? Grab a calculator or do it in your head, Unless you're stupid!
Early life[edit | edit source]
In the boring old city of Big City,[3] Chip was born destined for mediocrity. In every episode it is proven again and again that his teeth are as fragile as his political integrity, hence why he breaks his front teeth every episode and why his name is Chip. In fact, his teeth are so fragile that 10 minutes after he came out of the womb, he closed his own jaw and his fragile front tooth got chipped.
He went to the highly prestigious Harvard University for one year at age 18, staying there for a lame three months before he dropped out because he wanted to go to Big City University. After he dropped out from Harvard University, the FBI raided his vacant dorm room. Despite it being vacant, Chip Whistler forgot to pick up some of his items at his dorm in Harvard after he dropped out. FBI agents discovered that Chip Whistler wrote a very interesting letter on a piece of paper ripped out of one of his notebooks, the letter was placed inside of his desk drawer. The letter stated: "I'M GOING TO BIG FUCKING CITY UNIVERSITY BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HARVARD IS FOR WEINERS!!!!!!!!!! [sic]" And was quickly expelled from Harvard. Chip Whistler's literary skills show he was clearly destined for greatness and special needs classes.[4]
He later moved to Washington, D.C. to become a politician, so he moved to The White House, where he currently lives. Later, he became the presidential candidate for US president for the 2028 United States presidential election. Rumors spread across the Internet that he had a sexual relationship with Donald Trump but was later debunked as false.
Politics[edit | edit source]
Chip later became a US politician at age 19, 4 months after he graduated from Big City University. He is a far-right Radical Republican who is a Trumpist.[5] He was accepted to be a member of the US Congress. He later asked the US Air Force to bomb the Green family's house to get his revenge after they broke his front teeth more than 4,500 times in his life. He later gained attention of girls on the internet who simp him, and the FBI discovered a Tumblr page dedicated to him, made by a lesbian or a gay person. The Tumblr page was immediately taken down by the U.S. government and FBI. Chip Whistler has also confessed to having stolen Labubu dolls from other people, such as Rihanna, and even Madonna. He was believed to be the assassin of Charlie Kirk for one brief millisecond, until the assassin was identified as Tyler Robinson. He also funded $75M to help build Alligator Alcatraz, a prison for illegal aliens from Mexico.[6] And worst of all, he was caught holding a candy bowl that said on a sticky note attached to the bowl, "please take one" in front of little kids.
Chip Whistler's missile launch to North Korea[edit | edit source]
“God fucking damn it Chip Whistler! You destroyed our statue of our glorious founder Kim Il-sung kissing Joseph Stalin! Go to hell you motherfucking faggot asshole! Fuck you bitch!”
Chip used his unmatched decision-making abilities (a coin with two heads) to make the decision to launch a missile to North Korea. He called heads for launching and tails for doing nothing, flipped his coin with two heads and said it was up to divine intervention to decide what he should do. The missile hit a statue of Kim Il-sung kissing Joseph Stalin, what a gay statue right. The statue is known as "Commie Gays United". Kim Jong-un threatened Chip Whistler that he was going to send 2 nuclear bombs to the USA, with one landing in Big City and the other one landing in Washington, D.C.. Thankfully, none of the nukes were detonated in the US. As a response, six seven North Korean missiles were launched to strike at Washington, D.C., however, the missiles refused to even get off the ground due to poor manufacturing. Kim Jong-Un was so pissed off by this that he sent every aerospace engineer to meet God. The missiles were actually manufactured by slave workers in a sweatshop near Pyongyang, with the workers getting payed ₩0.00. Eventually, spy drones were sent to the United States but quickly ran out of battery halfway there, because the battery length of the spy drones was approximately 40 minutes,[7] causing them to fall and sink into the Pacific Ocean. 2 spy drones were shot down by the US Coast Guard, 1 spy drone was shot down by the Good Korean Coast Guard, and 1 other spy drone was shot down by the Japanese Coast Guard. Footage of Kim Jong-un throwing a childish temper tantrum in his mansion known as The Kumsusan Palace of the Sun went viral, Chip Whistler and Donald Trump laughed at the footage. Chip Whistler also sent a memo to Kim Jong-un saying he was going to recapture the USS Pueblo which was captured by North Korea in 1968. Chip Whistler's memo to Kim Jong-un stated:
“Oh hey commie bastard! I'm gonna claim back what belongs to America, I know what it is... THE USS PUEBLO YOU STOLE IN 1968!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
– Chip Whistler
Chip Whistler's country[edit | edit source]
Great American Anti-socialist Anti-Green-family Republic of Chipland | |||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| |||||
| Motto: Eat my ass Greens, Chipland is number one! | |||||
| Anthem: Chipland, Fuck Yeah! | |||||
| Capital | Chip Whistler’s front porch | ||||
| Demonym | Chiplandian | ||||
| Official language(s) | English | ||||
| Government | Far-right presidential republic under a dictatorship | ||||
| ‑ | Chip Whistler | ||||
| ‑ Vice | Wholesome Greg | ||||
| Currency | Credit cards | ||||
| Population | A few insignificant people | ||||
| Major exports | McDonald's, pizza, guns, credit card fraud, and missiles | ||||
| Calling code | Long live Chipland! Death to the commie bastards! | ||||
Before Chip Whistler moved to The White House, he started a country named Chipland. Chipland's territory was his house and his lawn. Chipland invaded his neighbor's lawn, claiming it as his land. His neighbor surrendered his lawn and house to Chipland. He also claimed the Green Family's house as his land, but the claim was unrecognized by the United States. His country was a very tiny country. Chipland was not recognized by any country nor did the United Nations recognize it. The US Army quickly invaded Chipland. The country only existed for 6 days. When the US Army invaded Chipland, Chip Whistler surrendered his country, Chipland to the United States. US troops swatted his house and looted $15M from his credit card. Chip Whistler later apologized in a public speech about his country Chipland invading US territory. Approximately at the 20th minute of his speech, the Green Family threw tomatoes at Chip Whistler, causing his tooth to chip and causing him to have a meltdown in public. This caused him to be embarrassingly humiliated on live TV being broadcasted to the entire nation.
Controversies[edit | edit source]
Multiple controversies over Chip Whistler have existed, such as him bombing a house in Big City owned by the Green family. He also built a bootleg version of The Statue of Liberty that was actually a fortress owned by him. The bootleg Statue of Liberty was just a giant statue of himself. He was almost killed after Cricket Green, a kid in the Green family, threw him off the building, but he later grabbed a pistol and pointed it at him, causing Cricket to step back and surrender to him, and he later got back up. The fortress was later demolished when Cricket Green pushed a bomb detonator lever, because the demolition company stacked TNT, dynamite, and bombs in the statue. The statue collapsed, and Chip Whistler was so pissed off after that happened, causing more airstrikes at the Green Family's house. Chip Whistler lost the $20M he spent to build the statue. His credit card app on his phone showed that he had a $20M loss on his credit card, causing his net worth to change from $760M to $740M.
The Green Family[edit | edit source]
The Green family is a family who lives in an old country house surrounded by city buildings. They have a small farm in their backyard. In the Big City Farmers' Market, they sell crops such as potatoes, tomatoes, and carrots, usually for $5.00 each, with a tax of $7.00 each. The reason it is very overpriced is because of the godawful tariffs. They sometimes sell spoiled, rotten crops, and fentanyl. The family members are Cricket Green (age 10), Tilly Green (age 12), Bill Green (age 45), and a grandma (aged 80).[8] The reason they lived in a house surrounded by a city was because the mayor of Big City declared their city's land to be expanded by taking land from the nearby countryside farmland. All of the houses were demolished with their owner's consent.[9] Grandma refused to sell her home, and the mayor was okay with that, causing her house to be surrounded by city buildings. The reason why Chip Whistler hates the Green family is because of a former feud between Chip Whistler and the Green family. Chip Whistler's friend, Wholesome Greg helped raid the Green's house. The Green family used an electricity wire to launch Chip Whistler’s helicopter into the sky. His helicopter crashed in a forest approximately 75 miles away from Big City. Chip Whistler survived by using a parachute he grabbed just as his helicopter was about to crash. His face landed straight at the ground after his parachute failed just 5 meters off the ground, causing his tooth to chip off. People thought he died, but he actually survived. After he landed with his parachute in the forest, he found a nearby road and hitchhiked a ride to a nearby diner where he sung a very bad song titled "Crappy As Can Be".[10]
Norm Alguy[edit | edit source]
After he bombed the Green family's house and was permanently banned from Big City, he went into hiding to avoid being arrested. He went under the fake name "Norm Alguy".[11] He presumably came up with this name when a blind person asked for his name because the blind guy claimed he looked like Chip. Chip being the unintelligent genius he is said to be, "I'm a normal guy. Norm Alguy, yeah that’s my name". Chip Whistler looked the same in his "Norm Alguy" fake name, but he wore glasses and he didn't wear a suit and tie, he wore normal clothes. He lived in a small house in Big City and he had a girlfriend. FBI agents discovered CCTV security camera footage of him taking out the trash, the CCTV footage was captured from an apartment building. The FBI left the case thinking Norm was just an average resident of Big City. He later moved back to The The White House, and revealed that he was Chip Whistler. He was later banned by the mayor of Big City from visiting and living in Big City. He and his girlfriend moved to Chip Whistler's home, The White House. His small house in Big City was later raided by the US Army after Chip Whistler and his girlfriend moved and now permanently lives in The White House.
See also[edit | edit source]
Notes[edit | edit source]
- ↑ The one where he launched air raids on Chicago
- ↑ Known in US politics as BT-SYV (Big Tiger Stares at Your Vagina). Also, he joined BTS shortly after their single release "Sex Girl Hot"
- ↑ Yes, the city is actually called that
- ↑ He is not retarded or autistic, though
- ↑ Not a fucking trumpet
- ↑ Yes, the ones who went border hopping, especially Dora the Explorer and That Guy
- ↑ The spy drones were actually very shitty
- ↑ Her actual name is Alice Delores Green
- ↑ It is not what you think it means
- ↑ The song earned 0.4/5 stars on Billboard Magazine
- ↑ Not to be confused with Normal Guy, NOT Family Guy
