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Hello, Purplexed, and thanks for joining Uncyclopedia! Before editing further, please take a gander at our Beginner's Guide. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, check out the following pages:
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If you need help, feel free to ask me on my talk page, post on our community forum, join our Discord, or message an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, our Adopt-a-Noob program can bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! BAD MOTHERFUCKERGET FUCKED! 22:35, 16 January 2026 (UTC)
Don't reply to another user on the against section, instead reply in the comments section. Soviet☭(Ask for free votes) 20:52, 22 January 2026 (UTC)
Also, only one return is needed to separate sections and you didn't capitalise China or Russia. Soviet☭(Ask for free votes) 20:53, 22 January 2026 (UTC)
My bad, thanks for telling me, still a relatively new writer and editor. PurplexedINSULT ME!!!
Holy shit. They actually did it. ColonelKurtz got banned by Alula for "repeated creation of garbage pages, spamming discussions with gibberish/irrelevant messages, generally just being a dick, etc." Following a brief change of the blocking time to 2 hours by DaniPine3, Turb0-Sunrise put that one template on his page, with Soviet moving the old contents to a new page. People started taking his subpages in a process known as "article-trenching".
Aside from that, one of his last acts was voting against on my article on VFH. Soo... you could say it's mixed reactions from ol' Turb0.
For whatever reason, newcomer OrdinaryJoe1234 has been nominated a ton of articles like ChatGPT and Rickrolling. Despite being warned by Shabidoo, he has still continued nominating articles. Because of this, he has earned the nickname "The 2011th Fenris" from Fish on skates just now.
After the purging of the AI articles helped by Gergdown's revolution thingy, people want to do something about AI images. However, everyone has a different opinion. MrX, OPOSSUM, and Noopnurf want to leave the AI images alone, but Gergdown, Turb0-Sunrise, DaniPine3, MK, and I would like to do something. After a lengthy off-topic conversation on the user talk page of recently banned ColonelKurtz, a forum was created with the title of The Noopstein Files.
15:22 Alula blocked ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (ugh)
20:31, 13 February 2026 DaniPine3 changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of 2 hours (account creation disabled) (hold on, why infinite? the guy hasn't done anything really bad now)
20:33, 13 February 2026 Alula changed block settings for ColonelKurtz with an expiration time of infinite (account creation disabled) (dani don't bother, this is for his general behavior)
Because this only happens once in a whenever, we here at the USP would like to welcome Deemoxagoard aboard. Fuck. Shit. You STUPID DUMBASSARY USER! How do you not know the proper way to speak the English language, Turb0? As we all know, the correct way of spelling aboard is aboard!!! Obviously not agoard!!! In fact, since you said that, not only have you offended me, but the entire history of the Anglo-Saxon language chain, Turb0.
Anyways, welcome Deemox. There's cake here somewhere. Depending on if Bill ate it all. Fuck you, Bill.
A story that was built, a retrospective on the wildly popular ASBOxAAT series, listed February 22nd, 2026 as the date that L10nM4st3r would make a page called "A story built one advertisement at a time". After some pushing by Fish on skates and Gergdown, the page was made 5 days later. L10n, the geek he is, actually found a way to redirect the main page (yes, THAT main page) to editing the article. MrX and even I found that to be a bit too far, so after some mild craziness, the main page is back to how it is, and MrX may or may not be able to edit it. Don't mind the site notice.
Deemox, the noob that was covered here a few months(?) ago, has now become an extended confirmed user. He has now written around six articles, all of which are very good and you should read them. none of them will crash your computer I promise[citation needed]. they are all very high quality.
what is your opinion about the fact that I am in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
no you're not. i checked.
Does it ever hail in Boston? Because believe it or not, it does in Ventura (Wait, never mind, that was graupel, or maybe sleet.) — OPOSSUM
the last time it did was maybe, 4 years ago?
Does the sun ever set on the Bostonian Empire? — alula
no
Did you know that you're really bad at checking if someone is in your floorboards? — Gammakid999
yes
What do did you do with your life before you joined Uncyclopedia? — Soviet
fuck if i remember
What will you do with your life now that you've joined uncyclopedia? — Gammakid999
fuck if i know
From The Logs
02:35, 20 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker, administrator and flood (the dutch will not be happy about this)
01:51, 21 February 2026 Alula changed group membership for DaniPine3 from abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, flood, rollbacker and administrator to abuse filter helper, autopatroller, extended confirmed user, rollbacker and administrator (dani why did you ask for flood when you very clearly weren't gonna use it for something spammy)
22:30, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Fish on skates with an expiration time of 14 hours, 18 minutes and 31 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
22:31, 1 March 2026 Alula blocked Soviet with an expiration time of 32 minutes and 2 seconds (account creation disabled) (the cabal (LPTEW) wishes it)
00:19, 2 March 2026 Alula unblocked Fish on skates (right, this block is 14 hours long...)
The Only Newspaper That Is Not Controlled By The Cabal Who Are You What Are You Doi- AAAAHHHHH
March 18th, 2026 • Issue #246 • It's a bird, it's a plane, IT'S SUPERM- oh. It's just the UnSignpost. Go home, everybody.Current issue • Archives • Press Room
BREAKING NEWS! A new project is sweeping the realmstate closet we broadcast out of! That's right, The UnHistory book is a thing! Right now we're still in the "pinging every signle old person we can think of" stage (see biopic below), but it's gonna be pretty cool. At least, that's what I think. After all, as Shakespeare once said, "Quoting people is fun!"
It has been... a while... but the goofiness has hit the towers of Uncyclopedia and like three other social media sites. Double-whammy as it was created September 11th. This is DEFINITELY not Gerg assploding after six months of soft labour! Will it BREAK YOUR RAISIN-SIZED BRAIN? Fuck, you didn't even HAVE a brain before you wanna play this shitty mod!
Honestly I'm not even gonna DARE add any more context. For those anti-youngings (oldlings) reading this, interacting with the Priest Goofball mod is as dangerous as having an erection in Chernobyl.
MK is making some cool new sigs! Ones that jump, ones that spin, ones that hit you with a car, ones that gamble, and ones that do other shit! Some have sound, even! In addition to this, MK has been making other cool CSS creations, and even made my sig!
Biopic
Codeine, your anti-drug, is still around apparently. You never know who might be lurking in the shadows. You never know who's gonna poke out of the shadows and then go right back in again because the shadows are decidedly comfy, or come back from a monthly month-long hiatus for a soda and some minor edits, or explore the old corridors and see if they still smell like they used to.
Have you ever had a dream that, that you, um, you had, your, you— you could, you'll do, you— you wants, you, you could do so, you— you'll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything? — AtomicAnon
yuppers
From The Logs
01:08, 10 March 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Turb0-Sunrise with an expiration time of 1 minute and 40 seconds (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (for edit conflicting me in Forum:Last person to edit wins >:[)
00:16, 16 March 2026 Alula blocked DaniPine3 with an expiration time of 00:44, 20 June 3023 (account creation disabled) (The cabal wishes it)
00:20, 16 March 2026 DaniPine3 blocked Alula with an expiration time of 2 weeks (account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) (two can play this game... >:])
00:23, 16 March 2026 Alula unblocked Alula (this is uncyclopedia. there are no games to be played here. except the priest goofball mod)
00:29, 16 March 2026 DaniPine3 unblocked DaniPine3 (goofball mod tomorrow)
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