User:OPOSSUM/Opossumopedia
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This article has been chosen by us just me.
OPOSSUM is the divine spirit-lord of all things. [1]You’d better drop on the ground like you’re dead now (like a possum!) NOW!!! Or in a short time thou shalt perish! You are nothing but my slave now!! Do as I say, dipshit!! BWAHAHAHA!!
See also:
Did you know?
★that OPOSSUM wants to quit Uncyclopedia, but he might as well be addicted?
★that this “encyclopedia” will likely only ever have just the main page?
★that OPOSSUM's homework was once eaten by his dog? No, seriously. I have a picture of the shreds, and maybe I could upload it later.
★that OPOSSUM's Uncyclopedia account is probably older than yours, despite the fact that he only created his account on November 1, 2021?
★that this “encyclopedia” will likely only ever have just the main page?
★that OPOSSUM's homework was once eaten by his dog? No, seriously. I have a picture of the shreds, and maybe I could upload it later.
★that OPOSSUM's Uncyclopedia account is probably older than yours, despite the fact that he only created his account on November 1, 2021?
News [etc]
OPOSSUM uses his fingers to pull shit out of his asshole in Whittier, Alaska
- OPOSSUM returns to Ventura… and possibly Uncyclopedia?"
- Pasmorade can't make a good news article (jk)
- Only OPOSSUM can
- actually OPOSSUM can’t either
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Uncyclopedia is dead
On this day
October 3: National Day of Retrofitting Your Hamster with a Metal Ass (Japan)
- -1195 AD - The King of Persia launches a surprise attack on Rome with their new and improved rugs. Cesar Chavez's army crushes the attacks with a combined Pirate and Ninja fleet.
- 1423 - First recorded joke of a man making a pun on the word 'come'.
- 1915 - Steel prices skyrocket due to the large number of pet hamsters owned in Japan.
- 1952 - Due to shortages of metal after World War II, hamsters are forced to wear discarded cutlery.
- 1978 - Aluminium asses are proved to give greater power to weight ratio for the hamster.
- 1982 - Discovered that uranium hamster ass was "probably not a very good idea".
- 2004 - PETA activists blockade McDonalds fast-food outlets to protest against the cruel, barbaric process of retrofitting hamsters with metal asses.
- 2015 - Apple creates iLife, therefore having a lifespan of 6 months before something newer and better than you is released.
Picture for today
manaqi iliʔi kʰapa OPOSSUMOPEDIA
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- ↑ Recent findings have shown that Opossum is not the prime deity of Chowgism; he is merely a preacher. The real god of all moccasins and New World marsupials is CHOWG.