User:OPOSSUM/Opossumopedia
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OPOSSUM is the divine spirit-lord of all things. [1]You’d better drop on the ground like you’re dead now (like a possum!) NOW!!! Or in a short time thou shalt perish! You are nothing but my slave now!! Do as I say, dipshit!! BWAHAHAHA!!
See also:
Did you know?
★that OPOSSUM wants to quit Uncyclopedia, but he might as well be addicted?
★that OPOSSUM's homework was once eaten by his dog? No, seriously. I have a picture of the shreds, and maybe I could upload it later.
★that Ventura cannot into Northern California?
★that I fucked your mom last night?
★that OPOSSUM's homework was once eaten by his dog? No, seriously. I have a picture of the shreds, and maybe I could upload it later.
★that Ventura cannot into Northern California?
★that I fucked your mom last night?
News [etc]
OPOSSUM uses his fingers to pull shit out of his asshole in Whittier, Alaska
- OPOSSUM returns to Ventura… and possibly Uncyclopedia?"
- Pasmorade can't make a good news article (jk)
- Only OPOSSUM can
- actually OPOSSUM can’t either
- ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
- Uncyclopedia is dead
On this day
- 1229 - Pope Gregory IX deletes thirty-one days from the Gregorian calendar, during a Florentine siege of Rome that had prevented toiletries from entering the city.
- 1841 - Oscar Wilde imprisoned for practicing heterosexuality in England without a Royal permit, a capital offense.
- 1941 - Germany and Italy celebrate for the first and last time "Let's Go To War With Russia Day." Italians and Germans regret this decision by 1945.
- 1941 - Mao Zedong suggests to rename "Chinese demographic boom" to "Yelow bang". Due to unpopularity of this idea among his generals, all of them were executed.
- 1953 - Trans-dimensional squirrels attempt a coup on the Kremlin but are driven back after the Soviets break wind in unison, creating a tear in the fabric of the universe into which the invaders are obliterated, nuts and all.
- 1983 - A passenger airlines goes Boom over the South China Sea. Only the pilots and hostesses survive after they are seen moments before the explosion floating in a rubber dingy thousands of miles below. Thank you for flying AirChina.
- 2005 - Face of Oscar Wilde is seen in a frozen pizza
- 2009 - All forms of international combat are banned by the UN. From this point on, international disputes are decided by caged death matches between the leaders of conflicting nations.
- 2009 - Annual 'Try Communism Day' is celebrated by the people of Lancashire
- 2010 - Lancashire appoints Ted Dansen as Director of the Communist Party
- 2011 - President Ted Stevens brutally beats Hu Jintao to death in a cage match, completing his domination and conquest of every country on Earth. Ban of weaponry two years earlier regarded as "a mistake" by most UN officials not already killed by Ted Stevens.
- 2012 - The Uncyclopedia website announced that it was the 11th November.
Picture for today
manaqi iliʔi kʰapa OPOSSUMOPEDIA
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- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
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- ↑ Recent findings have shown that Opossum is not the prime deity of Chowgism; he is merely a preacher. The real god of all moccasins and New World marsupials is CHOWG.