User talk:Simsilikesims/Archive4
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- Archive1 - exploring Uncyc as a n00b, and joining Imperial Colonization.
- Archive2 - whereas my wording on the content warning was unexpectedly adopted, and so on.
- Archive3 - where most of my talking after the split was done on IRC.
All right, praise songs
I never have in mind anything specific when I start on an absurd idea, naturally. We can just as well do the article on other stuff but praise songs - I mean any song at all, if you feel easier mocking something else. I wouldn't attack Christianity either - not because I couldn't but because it's useless. What if you look up something we can take apart in an absurd way and we meet on IRC some day? I find IRC collaboration quickest and the most fruitful. If you have nothing against it. Maybe a few songs? A review by people who have no idea what they are talking about? -- Style 
Guide 20:19, 22 May 2013 (UTC)
- The problem with IRC right now, is that it is SPAM month on IRC, which means basically nothing gets done on there: I could spam the lyrics to a praise song there, but it would be interspersed with derpyy's ramblings, plus spam from Zombiebaron and RAHB, probably. I already picked the praise song that has the weirdest lyrics I could think of, though there's another one "Nothing But the Blood" which could sound quite bloodthirsty I suppose if someone had no idea what Christianity was about, and walked in with no clue, having never been exposed to Bible teachings. I do want to focus on the more recent songs, rather than old hymns that are more widely known. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:52, 22 May 2013 (UTC)
- Spam month won't bother us if we send private messages. Also I've been there quite a bit lately - they're not spamming all the time. Also, you can /ignore spammers while it lasts. When do you want to meet? This time of the day is generally good for me but today I'll soon be going. Tomorrow is fine, satruday and sunday I'll be away, next week any day will probably be OK. -- Style
Guide 06:11, 23 May 2013 (UTC)
- Just got back from visiting a festival this weekend. Sunday I'll be away much of the day, otherwise the rest of the time I'm basically open. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:46, 26 May 2013 (UTC)
- Righto. This time of the day maybe tomorrow? Style Guide 06:41, 28 May 2013 (UTC)
- Sure. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:43, 28 May 2013 (UTC)
- Well, I tried to go on IRC, but it was too close to my bedtime and nobody was there when I went on to keep me awake until you went on IRC. Maybe earlier? Right now is about 7:30am my time. About 3pm or 7pm my time would be better, if that is possible for you. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 14:30, 29 May 2013 (UTC)
- Sure. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 22:43, 28 May 2013 (UTC)
- Righto. This time of the day maybe tomorrow? Style
- Just got back from visiting a festival this weekend. Sunday I'll be away much of the day, otherwise the rest of the time I'm basically open. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:46, 26 May 2013 (UTC)
- Spam month won't bother us if we send private messages. Also I've been there quite a bit lately - they're not spamming all the time. Also, you can /ignore spammers while it lasts. When do you want to meet? This time of the day is generally good for me but today I'll soon be going. Tomorrow is fine, satruday and sunday I'll be away, next week any day will probably be OK. -- Style
Praise that blood dudette
It's OK the way it is if you like to keep it light. I would have gone for something a bit heavier for better contrast - the way we discussed. For instance, where you describe the song in the intro, rather than mentioning blood just yet you could go something like:
"The ceremony, whatever it meant to these people, was magnificent. First I could not understand why the attending people made such a big fuss over these Jesus and God persons - but while the songs were being sung, some of their jubilant mood was communicated to me. Clearly this was some kind of mass suggestion, and it is really hard to avoid going along with that even when one tries. I didn't try since it all seemed so harmless. And then - when I was already immersed in the overall good feeling of the ceremony - the unthinkable happened. They started singing a song that made my skin crawl. I felt my heart skip a beat or two, and my eyesight seemed to be growing dimmer. My hands grew clammy with cold sweat... in short, it was one of the worst moments of my life. I asked my friend to help me out of the place. Luckily she was conscious enough to see I was really having a crisis despite my trying to look calm. She had to support me on our way out.
I still grow a bit weak at the knees whenever I remember that horrible song, but for your sake (I warn you not to go near those "church" places) I will reconstruct some it for you, along with a few notes."
You see that if you decide to go this way, the analysis and the rest of the intro will also need to be changed to fit this part. The choice is yours: I got a laugh out of your version as well. This would be more ambitious, however. I would like you to try just to see what happens. How about do both ways and keep whichever turns out better? The piece above could use still more descriptions of physical ill-feeling: that can be sporked from some medical site I'm sure. If you take it to the brink of total despair before letting the reader in on what actually happened, the joke will be bigger.
Also, the Mongol angle was there just to help us think. No reason to let the reader in on it.
-- Style Guide 04:13, 30 May 2013 (UTC)
- I don't know if I could do any more ambitious than I did, I can't think how I would do the analysis if I gave it all away in the intro - I think its better to have her passing out being a surprise to the reader, or mostly a surprise. I like the idea showing that Jesus and God are mostly a foreign concept to the person whose point of view the article describes, and the idea of mass suggestion, but again I wouldn't know what to do with the analysis if I took it in this direction. I'll see what I can incorporate into the intro without giving it away that she passed out cold during the song. (Fortunately, this wasn't apparently a Pentecostal church of a certain tradition, or they probably would've thought she was smitten by the Spirit.)-- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:52, 30 May 2013 (UTC)
Week-old news two weeks late: The UnSignpost!
Woop Woop! it's the sound of the Police UnSignpost!
June 6th, 2013 • Issue 198 • Back and better than ever still pretty adequate.
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News Roundup At The OK Corral
Here we are, we are not dead. Ignore the fact that the staff is entirely changed from last time. We did not murder them. And we definitely didn't murder Sir Peasewhizz. Because that would be just terrible. What we did do, however, is listed below:
And there you have it. That is literally everything that happened on Uncyclopedia since the last UnSignpost. It may have seemed like not much information, but really we just used a sort of wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey device to cram a hell of a lot of data into a very short space of time. This is part of the UnSignpost's new technological advances that will make us a constant competitor in the world of wiki-news in the future. Please, tell your friends. Please. Seriously, please. Also, Wikia still sucks (just in general). But please don't murder them. That would be just terrible.
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-RAHB 04:38, 11 June 2013 (UTC)
I know this is a bad time...
But, I am serious. Denza252 is hacked. Check the autoblocks, different IPs. DungeonMaster494 is not me. I will tell you, I only append 4 combos of numbers to my usernames, and ONLY, these four: 242,252,510, and occasionally, 525. Please tell SPIKE this, and get rid of the real imposter. My IP can be confirmed by Frosty, to be 98.232.108.7, or 146.129.242.84 (my school IP), signing as "The Indian Otaku" when I joined. I also just found out that another sockpuppet has been created by the hacked, DungeonDwemer510 or something, that is also fake. I may not be the best for social things and norms, but I would certianly wait a 2 hour ban from SPIKE, instead of using another account. Please read this fast, and if you can, get on IRC now. --The Slayer of Zaramoth DungeonSiegeAddict510 23:44, 13 June 2013 (UTC)
- You are unbanned for now pending a checkuser on the other wiki. I got RAHB's plea on your behalf, and I know he has experience with these matters, and even SPIKE had second thoughts given the actions of the other sockpuppets. I plan to leave the Denza252 account permabanned - if a second person who is not you wants to edit Uncyclopedia, they can do it but not under your name. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 04:44, 14 June 2013 (UTC)
UnSignpost is back
The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.
July 7th, 2013 • Issue 199 • Still fashionably late.
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The PLS results
The thirteenth edition of the PLS was held a while ago (in May). If you would like to know the result, we (me) decided to make life easier for you and give you the result of the contest, so you don't have to go all the way to the PLS page (one click). Just to remind you, all in all there were 4 categories and, therefore, there were supposed to be 4 people who got the first place and other 4 who got the second. However, this was not exactly what happened, as there are 6 writers who And so, here are the results! We (everyone) congratulate Zombiebaron for writing the Best PLS article "The Uncyclopedia's Owner Manual" and IFYMB! for his second best article "UnScripts:The Treaty of Minaj-Black" (these two articles got featured after)! We also congratulate the winners of all the other categories: RedHot ("My Dinner"; the best noob article), TheMillionRabbit ("Hold Your Wii For A Wee contest; the second best noob article) and Tmchale ("Searching for Topological Degeneracy in the Hubbard Model with Quantum Monte Carlo"; the secon second best noob article), Zana Dark ("Disturbed"; the best rewrite), Tmchale again ("Ludwig Wittgenstein"; the second best rewrite) and IFYMB! again again ("Opposite Day"; the second second best rewrite), Zombiebaron again ("The Last Unicorn in Vinnitsa"; the best potatochop) and finally Dexter111344 ("Ghost in the Trench"; the second best potatochop)! Thanks to all the participators and judges! The Uncyclopedia App
There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held. The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares). The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it). Anton (talk) 12:51, 6 July 2013 (UTC)
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Enjoy! IFYMB! Talk to me baby! 10:19 7 July 2013
The UnSignpost: a brilliant new format but less news
In a genius financial maneuver called "eat only Ramen for nine months", Uncyclopedia administrator Isarra has paid for Uncyclopedia's servers until September with what little student loan money she had left.
The remaining three months of 2013 were paid for with money raised from donations, merchandise sales, and advertising on the Uncyclomedia Shop. It cost $277.80 of the site's whopping $307.51, leaving the rest of the admins with barely enough money for their Ferrari gas tanks and an Uncyclopedia Android app.
However, this makes it obvious that the site is not yet financially self-sustaining and that other methods of generating revenue and/or more exposure to Uncyclopedia are needed if the site will do better in 2014. Ideas proposed on IRC include advertising, finding a generous sugar daddy, playing the lottery, and selling synthetic marijuana. Also worth considering is that even though raising awareness of the site through word of mouth and Operation Infamous is embarrassing and socially isolating, it will attract more people who will (hopefully) put money in our cup. And clicking on the ads in our e-store helps a bit too.
Count to a million fiasco
On July 29th, 2013; the infamous Count to a million thread which is popular for it's time wasting appeal was locked by Frosty in what could be said as "an action of gay gay gay proportions." Several Just three users took to the streets to protest this decision, angry that their only source of time wasting has been taken by one gay snowman; of course, they didn't protest or anything so nothing notable happened.
When we asked Frosty about this, he responded "This is to make sure people edit in the mainspace like they're supposed to, for so long very few edits have taken place in mainspace and it seems like the most popular thing here is that blasted thread. I feel like I've made the perfect choice." However, TheHappySpaceman and co-partner in crime Kırby think otherwise; claiming that "This is just so Frosty can get the "gayest person in the world" award; we've made attempts to make the thread viable by contributing comics and other stuff and to mock all of our attempts, that's gay indeed. Even gayer than Mr. Winkler's F."
Everybody else is oddly not disturbed by this recent conundrum; knowing full well that the thread will be open in a week. "It's nice that we have a motivation to edit mainspace, I was getting tired posting numbers in an attempt to reach a million. Hey, maybe I'll make a featured article in a week." said a random Uncyclopedian. Okay, so it's not much of a fiasco as we portrayed it to be but two people are pissed off and that at least has to make it a mini-fiasco right? As of writing, TheHappySpaceman and Matthlock are currently planning to write a mainspace article, presumably with lots of gay jokes.
UnDroid
For eons, an Uncyclopedia Android app was only a pipe dream. Maybe like two weeks ago. Thankfully, it's now a reality. The app, developed by some guy you've never heard of named Jude Pereira, can be found here. It's free in exchange for money and referring your friends to download the app. The app also has many exciting features such as AutoTypo 1.0, which shrinks the keypad and allows you
to create typos faster than ever before, and Zoom 0.8, an innovative feature allowing you to make large things small and small things large. It's truly revolutionary technology, and it's completely free. So download it, use it, and be somebody.
Biopic
In this Biopic we examine the trials and tribulations of Fakehater who, with a few uploads under his belt (however that works), is taking audio requests in the Village Dump. He says he enjoys proofreading, doing audio, and based on his userpage, The Goonies. He is also into older women but, like most UnNews reporters, he has little to offer any dignified, diabetic septuagenarian. Embarrassingly, his IRC nickname is "arsenic_x", which we're pretty sure is what created the Powerpuff Girls.
• 20:53, July 19, 2013 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Lemonpie (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Infinite (just fuck off pls)
• 17:13, July 19, 2013 Frosty (Talk | contribs) blocked Bizzeebeever (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of -3600 seconds (how many dicks could a dick sucker suck if a dick sucker could suck dick?)
• 11:41, July 1, 2013 Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) blocked Lyrithya (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 31 millennia, 6 centuries, 8 decades, 8 years, 269 days, 17 hours, 37 minutes and 3 seconds (Better number of nines)
Top VFH Competitors
• UnNews:Army launches new recruiting ad campaign (8/0.5)
• UnScripts:Your Guide to Notable Literature: Abridged (6.5/0)
• Constantine II (5.5/0)
VFH Highlight Of The Week
Katy Perry hit generator (10/0)
From The Forums
• Remember a time when Uncyclopedia didn't suck
• Hey! This looks like an important thing!
• I can't hear you!
• The day the music was born again and accepted Christ
UnSignpost News
You are probably noticing that the UnSignpost looks a little bit different. That's because it is. If you don't like it then that's just, like, your opinion and stuff man.
IRC Quote
[13:35] <DogTheColourful> I WILL FUCK YOUR HOUSE AND BURN YOUR MOTHER DOWN
Anton (talk) 13:24, 8 August 2013 (UTC)
Oh...
Was it your birthday yesterday? Happy late birthday then! Anton (talk) 11:46, 13 August 2013 (UTC)
Plz vote yes
I'll stop taking pictures of you while you sleep. Forum:Forest Fire Week 3.14: Reloaded-- 20:06, 14 August 2013 (UTC)
- Nice try, I don't have any cameras in my bedroom. My webcam is in my living room. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 16:29, 15 August 2013 (UTC)
Hello.
Check your emails. Newman66 Visit my table here! Contributions 00:21, 8 October 2013 (UTC)
Ban on the old site
Could you please take a look at the current ban SPIKE has dumped on Aleister over on the old wiki? I'm not sure what in the ruddy Hell is going on, but it doesn't seem right for him to ban an established user for two weeks for "ban evasion" after an argument over timestamps. Thanks. ~ BB ~ (T) 
~ Sun, Nov 17 '13 16:51 (UTC)
- Thanks BB. I left a note for Romartus here as well which covers what may have happened. The sig thing, sure, two days, that's fine, I haven't read the sig rules since they were changed in 2011, long after I used sigs the way I do, and nobody ever said anything was wrong with them. But now h says I've evaded the ban and laid me low for two weeks, which he either made up out of whole cloth or the maple syrup thing, or something. And if something good can come out of this, can BB get his permaban lifted, that doesn't even make sense to permaban a good user. Thanks. Aleister 16:53 17/11/13
- Thanks, Al, but I don't really care about a ban on a site I don't edit anymore. @Sims: please do look in on Aleister's ban, though. Cheers. Hope this is cleared up. ~ BB ~ (T)
~ Sun, Nov 17 '13 17:02 (UTC)
- I was gone throughout Sunday, but it looks like Romartus has taken care of this. There was an IP impersonating Aleister who posted on Spike's talk page and then removed that same post a few minutes later that caused the whole ban evasion problem (details can be found in the page history). Bizzeebeever, if you ever want to become a contributing member on the other site, just let me know. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 10:19, 18 November 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'll wander over later and have a look at that page history. I just wanted to make sure that I could post my Abu Gharib reunion unnews before the pics were censored. And I'll get that date thing cleared up, the policy was put into effect long after I had last seen the sig page. Later, and thanks again, Aleister 12:58 18/11/13
- Simsie, you're cool and everything, and thanks for asking, but I won't be returning to the old site. It has run its course for me. While this one is paradoxically "less active", that means there're fewer entitled, humorless IPs destroying pages for fun, and the contributors here are all people I enjoy working with. That includes RAHB, Aleister, Shabidoo, and even Zombiebaron. I am free to contribute here without worrying about being embroiled in a five-thousand-word discussion over a page's "unencyclopedic" nature, or how it "cracks wise with the nav tools", or how it is "unsuitable for new readers", or whether a "shoop" is better because it is cropped 0.5 mm to the left, or how my "sig" doesn't contain a sufficient timestamp, or whether or not a picture of naked boobs is "intended for sexual arousal" or is "integral to the humor of its containing article" (who the hell made the rule it can't it be both?). Sweating small things sucks the fun out of writing dick-jokes; as Woody Woodburninator says, "Rules < Funny".
- In short, if this server exploded tomorrow in a shower of sparks, I would still feel no compelling reason to return to that site. But thanks for asking. :D ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Nov 18 '13 18:05 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'll wander over later and have a look at that page history. I just wanted to make sure that I could post my Abu Gharib reunion unnews before the pics were censored. And I'll get that date thing cleared up, the policy was put into effect long after I had last seen the sig page. Later, and thanks again, Aleister 12:58 18/11/13
- I was gone throughout Sunday, but it looks like Romartus has taken care of this. There was an IP impersonating Aleister who posted on Spike's talk page and then removed that same post a few minutes later that caused the whole ban evasion problem (details can be found in the page history). Bizzeebeever, if you ever want to become a contributing member on the other site, just let me know. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 10:19, 18 November 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks, Al, but I don't really care about a ban on a site I don't edit anymore. @Sims: please do look in on Aleister's ban, though. Cheers. Hope this is cleared up. ~ BB ~ (T)
Unban from Wikia?
I know it hasn't been a year yet, but I'm doing much better than that turbulent time when I got banned from everywhere. I'm much more stable now than before, so could I please be unbanned? -- 10:45, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- We just went through some drama only yesterday at wikia, which resulted in vandalism, and things haven't calmed down completely yet. Also, Spike still thinks you were only on the site to attract attention rather than write quality material, and since you haven't shown any interest in editing the mirror, where there is nobody to get attention from, I find myself slightly suspicious as well. I miss seeing you on there though. I still say you and Spike should probably not be on the same site. You aren't the first he hasn't gotten along with, and you won't be the last. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:18, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
- I agree completely with the last two sentences. They probably apply to a lot of users. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 21:35, 2 January 2014 (UTC)
Mirror Uncyc
I left you a message there but you don't seem to be around so I'm letting you know here. Please take a look if you have time. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 05:28, 4 January 2014 (UTC)
- I can't remember why I signed up there, by the way - found myself editing and thought I should have an account, I guess. I've also been thinking off and on about helping you keep it clean. You know how. Certainly not intending to harass anyone...?! – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 05:38, 4 January 2014 (UTC)
- I just spent a couple hours delivering a lengthy response to the drama on the mirror site. ARGH. If you want to help me clean stuff up around there, you are welcome to, as long as it doesn't deteriorate into more catfighting. I don't want to hear on the mirror site about who got banned where (other than sites that I'm an admin of) and why, and who is creating more socks. You did the right thing in posting to my page rather than engaging in an endless revert war, and I banned Boobnoob for one day at the mirror for adding back the Alicia keys vanity in the one instance you mentioned. It sounds like she has a tendency to take things a little too personally. About your being banned by Wikia VSTF: Sorry to hear about that, its not anything I would have any control over, and it sounds like you did violate Wikia TOS by actually adding a link to a non-wikia forked site in the wrong place. As to talking about forked sites, that is mainly bad manners, and was banned by Spike when we were trying to retain some users back at the Wikia site, rather than concede all new users over to en.uncyclopedia.co. It has been suggested before that problem users that aren't a good fit for our site be redirected to the fork, but that might be a problem for both en.uncyclopedia.co and for us, since it could violate the spirit, if not the letter, of Wikia's TOS. Chaoarren and Denza are two examples of users that would have been tempting to redirect to the fork, to give a couple examples. But they found their way here on their own. There are still a couple more users that if Spike drives away, I hope find their way here instead. One of them likes to write low quality articles in his userspace. Lots of low quality articles. He could use some coaching, rather than Spike's brand of warning/advice, and steep learning curve requirement. He is only still on uncyclowikia because his articles have stayed in his userspace. Another one may have been the victim of a pack of trolls mimicking actions that set off the first ban, during the ban. He may decide to stay, or he may have been discouraged by the extreme lengthening of the ban for ban evasion (which I reduced somewhat). He shows quite a bit of promise. I do hope none of the trolls were from en.uncyclopedia.co, but given some of the hate posts that have been going on lately, I just don't know. Nobody knows who was really responsible. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 10:31, 4 January 2014 (UTC)
I have not been back on Uncyclowikia ever since my ip address got permabanned. Came here only to be greeted by an angry Denza and got block'd for a week for thinking I could start a flamewar since I saw in the block log nobody had been banned for cyberbullying. The worst moment here is when I went on a bad article creation spree which resulted in a months block. Also I once moved SPIKE's talk page for no reason. Chaoarren Chaohead (talk) 16:15, 4 January 2014 (UTC)
- Good idea not to go back, creating poor quality articles after being warned generally means you ignored an admin's warning, which is a bannable offense. Flamewars are generally not a good idea anywhere, they only cause more hurt feelings. And moving Spike's talk page - if you knew Spike, you should have known that was not a good idea. Perhaps you just meant it as a practical joke, but he doesn't take kindly to that sort of thing. If you did that to me on the mirror site (where there also is no Spike, but I am admin there), I would first move it back, then move YOUR talk page. Leaving a redirect behind. On the other hand, on any site moving lots of pages to new titles is a typical vandal technique, and grounds for a ban. Generally, Spike doesn't like it when users seem to be contributing only low-quality content or seem to be there only to get attention. Part of the problem with that is, those who contribute low quality content do so usually because they don't know a better way, or else because they don't want to put in the effort. I like to assume the former, but some might assume the latter, especially after advice has been given. Moving pages is a sure-fire way to get attention, as is posting frivolous forum topics. You may not have tried every attention-getting technique, but trying to get attention before you have become accepted as a regular contributor is not a good idea on Uncyclowikia. Aleister only gets away with it there because he is such a productive writer, but if he pushes it too far, he is likely to find himself Spike-banned too. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 09:25, 6 January 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks Simsie. I'm sorry for dumping all that stuff on you, I just wanted to make clear that the problem wasn't me and wasn't specific to the mirror. I have decided to leave wackypedia alone, don't worry. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 22:30, 4 January 2014 (UTC)
Quick thing...
Could you please delete http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:DungeonSiegeAddict510/Random_IRC_Quotes_for_Me_to_use asap? There's been a security breach... -- 05:16, 23 January 2014 (UTC)
- Done. --
RomArtus*Imperator ITRA (Orate) ® 09:05, 24 January 2014 (UTC)
- Nope, it isn't. I can still see it? Zzz
14:02, 24 January, 2014 (UTC)
- I have no idea about that but it looks perfectly deleted to me. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 14:34, 24 Jan 2014
- Yeah, it's alright now. There was a temporary bug that displayed the page even when it was deleted. Nothing to worry about anymore! Zzz 14:40, 24 January, 2014 (UTC)
- Unfortunately, I took a screenshot of the page and am selling to the highest bidder. mwahahahahahahahah! --Leverage (talk) 17:19, 24 January 2014 (UTC)
- I'll bid 1 UncycloCoin... which at the current rate is .0045984357943 LinuxCoins, of which one is equal to .83479387987 GNUcoins, of which one is equal to .00000000000000000000000001 Dogecoins. In other words, I'm bidding five trillion times the amount that Uncyclopedia has. Top that. -- 08:18, 25 January 2014 (UTC)
- Unfortunately, I took a screenshot of the page and am selling to the highest bidder. mwahahahahahahahah! --Leverage (talk) 17:19, 24 January 2014 (UTC)
- Yeah, it's alright now. There was a temporary bug that displayed the page even when it was deleted. Nothing to worry about anymore! Zzz
- I have no idea about that but it looks perfectly deleted to me. – Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 14:34, 24 Jan 2014
- Nope, it isn't. I can still see it? Zzz
UnSignpost: yet another new format but still less news
By Llwy-ar-lawr
So it seems nothing much goes on these days that's really newsworthy. Sure things happen, new users stop by, edit a while then leave, people write things, but...nothing really notable, you know. But we won't write an entire article about how nothing's happening and how depressing that is because, well, it's depressing, you know? So we're going to tell you about one thing the author - in her extreme vanity - thinks is worthy of reporting and make it seem like that's important and trick you into caring, when you'd really much rather be playing video games or (gasp) writing an article.
This forum resulted in our acquiring a new admin, Llwy-ar-lawr, who is still all over the place just like she was before but now shows up in different places and is making this slow website go a little faster to hide how slow it is (we hope). There are rumours that she sleeps sometimes, but they have yet to be verified. She also happens to be writing this text right now, which is a terrible conflict of interest so we can't say any more on the matter; this means we will distract you with more pointless drivel about nothing. Now back to our regularly scheduled commercials, which we've forgotten to serve you. We bet you were really missing them because they're so yummy and informative. And yellow. That comes from the pee, which is high in nice nutrients like phosgene phosphorus...we think. Probably. We're telling it to you as a fact, though, because we're never wrong.------------
Retro Week happens
By Anton199
Uncyclopedians, rejoice! A great victory over the forces of liberalism has been won!
We, the Conservative users of Uncyclopedia, have decided that we don't have enough featured in-jokes, clowns, Really Big Trees, user and disambiguation pages, as if we haven’t pulled enough boners (and templates), we are putting all our past glories on our main page, once again, one by one, ten days a week.
Dear readers, only a few days late, the UnSignpost declares the Retro Week open! Applauds!
Originally Shabidoo's very controversial idea, the Retro Week has grown to become the time when all the Uncyclopedia administrators take an official rest from their site work, unless they are also the UnSignpost editors. You don't believe us? Check the recent changes!
So the 2014 Retro Week opened with a really big tree. A very big one. But it is pretty much everything original about it. It pursued with Slender Lorises, that are able to live in wet and dry forests, next - with Template:Boner, which we are not going to use in this UnSignpost, no matter how many times you ask us. Then came the turn of Hardwick Fundelbuggy's Userpage, featured not because it was funny, but because its author had written a lot of funny stuff (following this logic we can feature sandboxes and user contributions). Finally, we saw the Fire Hydrant spreading its waters around Uncyclopedia and slowing down - if not destroying - the servers.
Amongst other pros of the Retro Week are the facts that it gives users a good excuse for not voting on VFH for a while, because nobody does this anyway and that it is keeping our main page busy, while we are making an UnSignpost for you.
Thank Sophia, it happens only once a year!
Biopic
We haven't managed to get hold of anyone long enough to get sufficient information out of them for a biopic. They always managed to ooze away just in time. Must be that slime that's got into the works.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week This is not an article (12/2)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News This is the first UnSignpost issue since August 2013. If that's not news I don't know what is, so stop complaining.
Chat Quote [22:15] <snerk> I just can't help but think that this is a pattern that is indicative of an anarchist takeover.
– Llwy-ar-lawr (talk • contribs • logs) 04:58, 5 May 2014
It's back! - The UnSignpost
Uncyclopedia is like a moldy pile of kelp right now. Not a lot of fun is happening right now. Or is it? Well probably not, but the UnSignpost is back! You know that newspaper that occasionally makes appearances on your talkpage that you also totally read. More than ever this newspaper will be uninformative, filled with articles that seem to endlessly ramble on about nothing in particular just to serve as filler and most importantly it will be the newspaper written by barely literate drunks.
Of course, you must ask, will this project actually be happening on any regular basis? You bet! Certain people who are extremely vain, as proven by the writing himself into the article will try and deliver you an UnSignpost every single Friday! That is of course, unless he gets devoured by a moldy pile of kelp. Then it might not happen. Other writers may also take part in this wonderful franchise, but let's face it, it's more likely that you read this entire article through to the end, than people actually write for this place anymore.------------
New admin time
By Frosty
Once again we find ourselves in that horrible, horrible mode of electing new administrators for Uncyclopedia. A process that never fails to see at least three users permanently quit the site because of "hurt feelings". But apparently, this time will be different. Although we say that every time, we truly mean it this time. Every drama stirrer will win an all expenses paid trip to RAHB's secret rape dungeon where they will have their anus mercilessly pounded with a stick coated in pieces of broken glass, and to top it off, the glass pieces will have been soaked in the HIV virus before hand.
Serious candidates include Kip the Dip, Mr-ex777 and Leverage; and not so serious candidates include RAHB, vandals from 2008 and DungeonSiegeAddict510 (let's face it, who'd vote for him?). And although newspapers are supposed to be non-bias and non-speculative, if you don't vote for Kip, Mr-ex or Leverage you are a loser. Plain and simple.
Users are all encouraged to vote, because unlike with the presidential election, your vote counts! Further more, not every single candidate is a loser, most of them are, but not all of them. Voting commences on August 1, so get ready for some old fashion in your face comedy tragedy!
Biopic
For the first time in 2014, we actually have a biopic! This week's biopic is Banzaikitten, who, is one of the very few new comers of 2014 to not bugger off within 7 days of signing up. We would like to thank SPIKE for his contribution in bringing Banzaikitten closer to us through his "take no prisoners" banning style on Wikia. If it wasn't for this, Banzaikitten would never have quit Wikia and joined us at the chosen Uncyclopedia. Please take a moment to thank Banzaikitten for being one of the very, very, VERY few users to join in recent times.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week You Are Gay (13/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News If you've read the UnSignpost all the way to this point, you need help. Seriously.
Chat Quote [17:12] You have been disconnected. Attempting to reconnect for you...
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 
09:37, 25 July 2014 (UTC)
Two weeks in a row? A new record! It's the UnSignpost
Predictably (and because let's face it, nothing else is happening on the site), the admin election takes the lead story. For those of you living under a rock and those that are just plain slow, Kip the Dip is leading the race by far (+19) and should win be a few lengths, this is definitely because of how hard his jockey is riding him. Cat the Colourful is trailing at second with +13, followed by Leverage at +8 and Banzaikitten at +6. Other notable mentions include Aleister, Mr-ex777, Lost Labyrinth Mattsnow and DungeonSiegeAddict510 who have all succeeded in avoiding the highly embarrassing score of getting +1 or less. Feel free to message the losers with negative scores and point and laugh a lot hahaha.
It shuld be no surprise that the page has been mercilessly trolled with other complete joke nominations including The Chief of AIDS and The Zombie of AIDS.
If you haven't been to the forum yet to cast your vote, do it today! Uncyclopedia admin elections: Twice the drama, half the fat!------------
VFH smells
By Frosty
This story is nothing short of a PSA, circle-jerking with traces of vote whoring in as well. If you are reading this, you should vote on VFH. VFH voting takes very effort and makes it, at the very least appear, that we have active users. So get down there some time today and vote on all the articles. Some might say you need to actually read them first, well this is (probably) a good idea, but do bear in mind that we don't actually know if you've read it or not. And unlike, when you didn't read Hamlet in your 9th grade English class there is not going to be a surprise test on the matter.[citation needed]
You should also go vote on Frosty's article(s) currently on VFH, it's the least you could do after he SINGLE HANDEDLY wrote this terrible newspaper for you. If you don't, the length of his e-penis will decrease considerably all because he didn't get another feature on a website with a userbase smaller than an Eastern Siberian village.
Biopic This week's biopic is the user named TheRealSexyFluttershy, which just goes to show how desperate we are for biopics that we are willing to write about literally anyone who shows a vague interest or presence in the site. TheRealSexyFluttershy can be found on The Internet Relay Chats discussing things that have relevance to ponies and poopdick on a disturbingly regular basis. However, he does occasionally make the odd presence on the Wiki and even more occasionally he makes useful edits to some page or another.
If you appreciate him go to his talk page and thank him for his noble contributions in the field of poopdick, if you don't appreciate him please feel free to spam his page with poopdick (although he may start furiously masturbating).
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week You Are Gay (14/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Frosty thinks all the other administrators are highly useless. Yeah, sorry guys but you are.
Chat Quote [21:19] <sleeptyper> RAHB dislikes niggers
~Sir Frosty (Talk to me!) 23:46, 1 August 2014 (UTC)
Does this look infected to you? It's the UnSignpost!
Not that much over a year ago, TKF left us with the classic "I'm quitting forever in a highly obnoxious and auto-fellating manor". For about 66 seconds Uncyclopedians everywhere were sad, we all fapped in sadness at the loss of our beloved TKF and things were never going to be quite the same again. Then we all thought to ourselves "good riddance, I hope he contracts Anthrax and dies."
No surprise, but he has come back under the highly illusive nickname "Argylesocks" which is obviously not somebodies sockpuppet because it contains the word socks in it. I mean, if you were a sockpuppet would you give it away so easily? Flawless logic! He can also be found on IRC chatting casually under the "dcik", showing his support for "The Dyslexia Support Foundation".
Head over to his user page and talk page to find out details about his awesome "Uncyclopedia Retrospect project" which is probably some grand social experiment documenting the life and times of hopeless losers on the internet, but hey it SOUNDED COOL.------------
Forum dramaz
By Frosty
Uncyclopedia has recently had an infestation. An infestation of drama. Drama is bad mmkay? Aside from the obvious fact users get banned, users quit and people proceed to hate each other to the point where you would rub hot English Mustard into their prolapsed anus if you ever saw them in the street, drama distracts you from writing. As does reading the UnSignpost. But reading the UnSignpost is more constructive as the constant not so subliminal messaging telling you to write articles is plastered everywhere. WRITE ARTICLES.
But drama can be entertaining when coupled with cheap scotch and buttered popcorn to the humble obverser. But mainly it's bad, so stop it. No matter how funny you think your drama mongering will never compete with Asperger's Syndrome is no laughing matter... ...and the sequel rest of the trilogy.
Biopic
This week's biopic is Chaoarren, which if you haven't meet him yet... You suck basically. He can be found on IRC, occasionally editing the Wiki and frequently reporting established users to Ban patrol because "they made fun of him in his pink skirt" or "he smells funny". Chaoarren has also done the highly laughable feat of running dead last in the most vote rigged admin election in history, where losers like Kip the Dip and Colin actually stand a chance of winning losing.
He's also a noob that hasn't buggered off yet. I wish more of them were like you Chaoarren... I really do...
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week What's-his-name off that thing (12/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Confucius say "Shut the fuck up and edit an article".
Chat Quote [20:17] <James_T> My dick is large
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) 
~ Fri, Aug 8 '14 12:21 (UTC)
thank you
For donating. -- 05:07, 13 August 2014 (UTC) (I still luv u bby)
- I still don't know if they really used my donation for legal expenses with the fisher price pic or whether it went to the server, but it's cool either way. Oh, and I have a boyfriend since last October. He isn't into humor writing though. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 21:38, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
- Server. We tried getting a lawyer with the cash, but only one would talk to us, and that was only to tell us he wouldn't spit on us for that much. (Spit was $400.)
- Also, you should dump that boyfriend. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:13 (UTC)
- No, I like spending my weekends with him, even though most of the time what we do is go grocery shopping and book browsing together, and sometimes watch Bluray movies in his living room. Still, he's much better than the last boyfriend I had, who would go out to fast food with me, with me paying the bill for the date, every time, even though he had a job of his own. I may have to choose between my cat and my boyfriend eventually though; he has three cats, one of whom belongs to his roommates, isn't fixed, and tends to mount female cats (like mine). -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:29, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
More {{Boner}}s than a ragged Playgirl: It's the UnSignpost!
It was dark times being without Uncyclopedia. Maybe if I got out of the dark and went outside once in while it would be less dark. But you know, lazy me.
I plan to visit Uncyclopedia and do my 'thang (wink wink) at least once a week. But I hold no promises because you can't trust me. I'm a hoe and 3!OH!3 told you to NOT TRUST HOES.
However, I'm sure you guys found out why I was absent from the site for a good 200 years 4+ months and it was because my old laptop KOed and I finally got a new one for school.
So that means I won't be uploading images of Madiq. (pictured)...
I missed you, just kidding, but really. However, I didn't forget you, maybe sometimes,
Is this a haiku or something? My grammar sucks too.------------
New admins for you!
By Sir Peasewhizz
Beware everyone, as a result of this there is now an additional 8 new sysops/administrators. They all expect BJS and prizes.
Kip the Dip
Leverage
Supergeeky1
Banzaikitten
Mr-ex777
Colin "All your base" Heaney
Lost Labyrinth
Cat the Colourful
They expect sacrifices. So chop, chop. Make haste.
Biopic This weeks biopic is on someone who doesn't read Uncyclopedia (but they will because we will make them through laughter har har). Her name is Elizabeth and she's from Australia. She showed Sir Peasewhizz her tits...
They were nice. And that is it for today's Biopic. What the fuck did you expect? A fucking biography on the Borgia family?
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week UnBooks:Holmes On Homes (16/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News This just in: Don't hit your children.
Chat Quote
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Fri, Aug 15 '14 20:11 (UTC)
We gave The UnSignpost an enema, so now it's regular!
By Banzaikitten
Welcome to another no longer sporadic edition of Unsignpost. Yes, the quantity of USP's being written has gone through the roof in the last few weeks and as such there is absolutely nothing to report- hence why people who have previously never written one of these are being roped in. One thing of note that has changed is I am now an admin and as such can block RAHB with impunity. God I love to block RAHB. There is nothing quite like the fizzy rush in the root of your penis and the dizzy thrill you get in your anus when blocking RAHB. I urge all who can to try it.
But anyway, I'm an admin now and I'm going to try and be the best admin that I can be, and judging from my recent attempt at changing the featured article, and all the admins reactions to my fuck up, the best admin I can be is one who does absolutely no administration work and just writes the occasional UnNews. Thanks for all your votes.------------
RAHBs Sexuality
By Banzaikitten
I know I've already spoken about RAHB but god help me I just can't stop. We all like voting and there is a very important vote occuring right now. You, yes you, could decide what sexuality RAHB is. Come the end of the vote RAHB sexuality will be decided for him and he will have to perform sexual acts of that nature for the rest of time. I'm hoping Ponies wins.
Shame on you By the curate
As the curate and the moral compass of this sinful land I must say that I have been appalled at the terrible news that my milkman brought to me. Although I don't remember his exact words, I'll try to reconstruct his speech from my memory, which - and for this I thank God - I am still honored to possess, despite my respectable age.
| “ | Now, I heard Mr What's-his-name talk to his son about something he heard in the neighbor's house, which I didn't hear, but Mr. What's-his-name-again described it so well that I am positive I can repeat it almost word-by-word. So his neighbor was giving his dog its food and commenced discussing our village's events with it, Mrs. Elizabeth soon became the topic of the conversation, and she, as you know, has a daughter... And a cat. Oh, what a fine Siamese cat! But it is of no relation to our current subject. So e man and his pet chattered on and on and, apparently, that dog ... oh, I mean the man (but, you know, from a distance you really can't tell the difference) uttered that "Mrs. Elizabeth's daughter once read an educational page on the Internet, which talked about homosexuality and how you cure it." And can you guess who the author its author was? Mr. Frosty, the man who lives next door to you! | ” |
These were the words of the milkman. However, this isn't all. I was not terrified when I heard this, because teaching fellow villagers to cure an abominable disease, which homosexuality certainly is, is a commendable act from Mr. Frosty's part, especially if it was done with no impulse other than to save good Christians.
Alas, I, we have been greatly deceived in our trust! Beware of the appearances, especially when they are found on the unholy Internet!
Ah, wicked men! I, your curate, willing to help your ungrateful souls, decided to try the so-praised advice of Mr. Frosty on myself and proceeded to accomplish it yesterday. I did everything he said to the very last phrase and - I swear by the Holy Grail - it didn't work!
Biopic
bakpak2hvy is a guy who frequently lurks on our IRC without saying anything. The other day he said something.
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week F4 (13/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News
Chat Quote
[17:16] <Banzaikitten> so I wrote the USP kind of
[17:16] <Banzaikitten> its entirely about RAHB
[17:16] <RAHB> Awesome
~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Fri, Aug 22 '14 2:13 (UTC)
Noluv4u
Get them over here! -- MagicBus Talk to me! 22:32, 22 August 2014 (UTC)
OMG! A WILD USP IS ON THE LOOSE!
By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop throwing tomatoes you assholes! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
Okay, so what is really going on, you may say? 'I'm about to fucking tell you. Enjoy.
Did you know that every ten seconds: another ten seconds kicks in? Yeah, mind equals blown right now, eh? Did you know that the return of one legendary user triggers other legendary users to return as well? When Argylesocks returned from his previous state (not Blue Mountain), it only was a matter of time until the legend named MadMax returned from his couple-of-months-long sojourn in the wild country known as Ethiopia. MadMax does not steal the few supplies of food Ethiopia has, you sick fuck! HE HAS A SOUL.
For those who have heard of the legendary Xamralco, he has returned to. He is an admin and a fantastic writer. We love him. You love. YOU LOVE HIM.
Okay? Okay.
Now if anyone sees Dawg, slap him and tell him to come back. And for Olipro... gosh. I can't even.------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.
By Sir Peasewhizz
We were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Biopic For this edition of your favorite paper, the USP, we had the chance to get the Biopic for one of the biggest badasses to ever live. That person/thingy/chatter was auror, whom we found frolicking in our IRC channel one evening.
When we asked auror if she would like to be Biopic'ed (did I spell that right? SPELL CHECK PLS) she gave a powerful speech.
| “ | no | ” |
Thank you! Give it up for auror!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Psychedelic Rosie and Her Coat of Many Colors (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News The USP will be delivered on Sundays now. (or around then)
Chat Quote
[17:42] <ColinAYB> Kippy is forever topical
[17:42] <ColinAYB> Just like the lotion he uses when he takes it to the hub.
[17:46] <Kippy> You don't even need to see all the nudity to take it to the hub.
SLENDERMAN talk (Currently following you) 03:16, 7 September 2014 (UTC)
Unsignpost delivery attempt numbr hideous implosion
By Sir Peasewhizz
Hi, My name is Sir Peasewhizz. Stop hurling babies at me! STAHP! READER PLS. STAHP.
It is days like these when I realize what a cruel world we live in. It seems that Pee Review has bitten the dust. For just a few minutes of your day and some cash you can help solve this crisis. Seriously, you hoes.
Piss on my review quests.
Olipro is gay.------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins.
By Sir PeasewhizzWe were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Yes, I copied this from the last issue of the USP, you boner goblins. That picture of gold? That was also from the last issue, as well.
Uncyclopedia App
By Anton199There has recently (a certain amount of time before the latest UnSignpost issue) been a lot of talk about creating an Uncyclopedia App as well as an Uncyclospecies. The idea consists in producing and selling the app which will transform all the human beings who use them into Uncyclopedians. The majority of the users (about 50% of those two who really participated) found this idea great (think that it is funny to talk about) and maybe even began working on it (asked someone else to think about it). Nothing else is known about them, as they disappeared soon after the first experiments were held.
The main problem this project has is that, in fact, nobody knows how to create an app. In addition to this, there is no money, as most of it was spent on Ferraris, that were supposed to bring more money but didn't. Finally, some people think that it might be harmful for the environment (nobody cares).
The project is currently being discussed (some users still post random spam on the forum) and with a certain probability the app is going to be created in nearby future (it is never going be to created but some people do think about it). Biopic Alas, an actual Biopic for SEPTEMBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Today, the Biopic will be on a man who carries the identity, MrC. He was doing some hardcore crunches while he was surfing the IRC and thus we gained a little more info this is a run on sentence fuk yea murica.
His origin: "Some Uncyclopedians messed around in another channel recently. After hearing all the stories and rumors, I figured I'd like to see for myself."
So when we asked MrC if he could tell us how to get, how to get to Sesame Street, he said "I don't know... bribe Cookie Monster with a cookie?"
There you have it, words of wisdom BOOI!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Shirley Phelps-Roper (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Hi. This is a lazy edition of the UnSignpost.
Chat Quote
[21:46] Star651 has quit (Quit: Page closed)
[21:46] SirPeasewhizz: NOOOOO
[21:46] SirPeasewhziz: BAE
Brace Yourselves, The UnSignpost is Coming!
Previously, in the past, Uncyclopedia has done a project called Uncyclopedia:Imperial Colonization, which mimics is a battle against crap-quality articles. We recently have finished the colonization of Albert Einstein, because fuck we didn't need a good article on him before amiright?
Anyways I'm telling you this because it would be soooo sweet if we could get this running again... and I kinda need Xamralco or any other admin to combine histories again because I just found out I shouldn't have moved the project myself...------------
Vote for highlights, you giant boner goblins. (third issue in a row)
By Sir PeasewhizzWe were once surpassing the votes per article goal of 10 not much longer than a week ago. SHAME! HOW COULD WE HAVE LET THIS DROP TO NEARLY 5 OUT OF 10?! EVERYBODY, HEADS DOWN!
When I say you can put your heads up, you will all go and vote on the feature nominations. Okay? And no laughing or detention!
Wow a third week of using the same entry in a row? GEEZ.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Ludwig Wittgenstein (9/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.
Chat Quote
[15:07] bakpak2hvy is edible.
[15:07] TheFakeazneD525 chews on bakpak2hvy
The USP is coming for you! (and your little dog too)
By Sir Peasewhizz
So apparently, October follows September. As we all know, Halloween follows September. This means that I get to make a suggestion, amirite?
So I was thinking long and hard one day (which was literally five minutes not twenty-four hours) about something cool we could do for Halloween this year. No, I don't mean egg your neighbor's house... I was thinking maybe we could feature something on Halloween?
Okay yes, I know this is something we basically do every year, and I know you are reading this preparing to accuse me of filling space... and you'd be right.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week UnNews:Obama to outline IS strategy after consulting Stonehenge gods (10/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Please VFH, Colonize, etc.
Chat Quote
<ColinAYB> Actually his lips did sink ships
<ColinAYB> In the sense that he sucked e
Excuse me, sir, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the USP?
As we all know, a Texan man has brought the Ebola virus to the United States of America. And as country, we are all freaking out. Even Obama, who never freaks out, has freaked out. He now refuses to kiss Michelle because he has become a germophobe.
Anywho, we here at Uncyclopedia have determined that Ebola can be avoided by simple measures. We encourage everyone to wash their hands, especially after ferocious masturbation. Remember kids, diseases come for hookers. So stay away from hookers as well.
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it again!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week Firesheep (10/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Shabidoo's competition has begun.
Chat Quote
<Denza252> ephemey: am i trololololololing?
dicks lol: It's UnSignpost time!
By Sir Peasewhizz
Do u think we should cancel the USP
Anyone
Biopic
Nahhh. I don't really feel like it againnn!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week UnDebate:Should women rap? (10/0)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Shabidoo's competition has ended.
Chat Quote None
The UnSignpost is back, baby! (And also a little bit of front)
By Sir Peasewhizz
Before time began there was the cube. Wait, hold on... yeah wrong script. Okay, let's start again. Before the internet was cool, there was no Uncyclopedia. This is because before Uncyclopedia was a website, there was this awful site for information that anybody could edit called Wikipedia. There was also catfishes and cocks.
That all changed back in 2005. When Uncyclopedia was established/founded/spawned/born/emerged/created, the internet took off. Not literally, but metaphorically... or something. The fact remains that the world, with the introduction of Unyclopedia, began to gain faith in the internet. The Amish began to use electricity after Uncyclopedia was established!
And our legacy could fade away; not unlike my basketball trick shot.
All jokes aside, Uncyclopedia may be content-free, as one could say, but it is not free to run. Uncyclopedia runs on a server and this requires money. We don't mean like the billions Obama requires, but it still needs a bit of money to be a legendary thing.
How does Wikipedia stay up then? Well, we're not Wikipedia. We're run by no employees and we're instead run by dedicated users who spend their time editing/fucking with the site that they love. Uncyclopedia is nearly ten years old, so it's not like the joy of "uncyclopediating" isn't real. It's in the Webster Dictionary.
Not every one is rich either, in fact, we're all kinda bland. Money doesn't grow on trees. Now we're not gonna hold you for ransom and we sure as hell aren't going to guilt you into donating to our cause... but think about the children that would starve without us!
Basically, read more about it here. Thanks for your time.
If you can't donate, don't. We won't force you to do something we can't ourselves.
And another thing you could do besides donate is spread the word or buy something from our store.
Anyone
Biopic
You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it! You a fool? I wouldn't do another biopic if I felt like it!
From The Logs
Top VFH Competitors
VFH Highlight Of The Week President Hoover (11/1)
From The Forums
UnSignpost News Donate to Uncyclopedia if you can.
Chat Quote None.
Vote, Vote, Vote
It's that time of the year again! We're going to be showing off our Top Ten Articles of 2014 soon but so far, very few people have voted. It's all up to you to decide what's the best of the best! Go to Forum:Top 10 Articles of 2014 and vote now! --
02:23, 30 January 2015 (UTC)
Signature test
The link to my talk page should work here. Sir SP1 06:17, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
- Yes, it does work here. Looks like you're good to go! -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 06:24, 8 April 2015 (UTC)
False broccoli
False broccoli is visible. Did you know it is? I see nothing. But the false broccoli. Someday, those indefinite blocks will expire. Someone, sometime, somewhere will see the broccolini fnord. And that appears to be it. 202.142.129.178 (talk) 04:43, 28 May 2015 (UTC)
- In the meantime, try Illogicopedia. You'd fit right in. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 00:47, 6 June 2015 (UTC)
- Yep.
XY007 • talk • contributions 01:20, 16 June 2015 (UTC)
- Yep.
Mr-ex777 jumped on me what did I do wrong
Mr-ex777 told me to stop here. Can you tell me what I did wrong? 
DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:52, 3 July 2015 (UTC)
- You disagreed with him in a way that made sense. Hyperbole explained it pretty well, I think. Mostly, you aren't on IRC enough, so you don't have the status to publicly disagree with an admin - and neither do I. That's why I haven't put my 2 cents in on that forum topic, nor will I - I wouldn't be listened to, & probably would be banned. That's another reason I've stopped contributing at both sites - I'm tired of all the bad blood between the sites tainting everything. An admin active on wikia is viewed here like an enemy & threat to this site. And guess which I might be. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 09:25, 8 July 2015 (UTC)
PS - If you know me, you should know its the former, not the latter. My point is that just because someone has a life outside this site, they shouldn't be viewed as an enemy or a threat.- You just edit conflicted a massive wall of text I just wrote and I cant be bothered to do it again :(. The long and short of it was- Mr-Ex777 just disagreed with Miley and never threatened to ban anyone. He is chinese and his english is not perfect- he can be misconstrued. There is no sort of "status" gathering you have to do in order to disagree with an admin- thats a ridiculous thing to say and just not true, anyone is allowed to disagree with an admin (more of the constant unfounded IRC bashing we see from wikia admins). Romartus was banned not for disagreement but for the hypocritical way he has been coming to this site and linking wikia pages and arguing about the split- which are behaviours we have seen many banned for on the wikia. I have no problem with people doing those things really, its just the hypocrisy of it that's the problem, for me anyway. No one is seen as a threat- both websites are pretty much dead there isn't a lot to threaten. I dont think you you would be banned, Simsie, for putting your opinion down on that forum- though I don't suggest getting involved. Also Miley, it's a bit weird you spread this issue to so many talkpages of unrelated people- did you want to start a bit of your own drama? - B@NZai k!tten
(Meow?) 09:55, 8 July 2015 (UTC)
- Sorry about the edit conflict. Mr-ex didn't threaten to ban Romartus before he did either, he just banned him, no warning. Yes, this kind of thing happens on the wikia site, but I don't like seeing it happen here so I want to call it out like I see it. Zombiebaron told me the matter was discussed on IRC before the ban happened. What I see happening here, is that people who do not lurk on IRC are viewed as second class citizens here, just a step above an IP. I haven't seen Romartus harassing anyone on here, though he did confront someone about apparent plagiarism of someone else's article to make sure they had done it with permission from the original author. Just like if I copied your article onto the wikia site, Zombiebaron could visit the wikia site to ask me if I did it with permission from you. Don't worry, I wouldn't do it without your permission, this is just an example. I don't think Frosty should be de-adminned because he wasn't on IRC when the discussion about the banning went on. True, he should've put a note on Mr-ex's page, but I also think that when one admin goes too far, another admin should be able to reduce the ban. I have done that to Spike on wikia when I felt he was being unreasonably excessive. Another factor to look at before infinibanning someone is their record of prior bans. Also, when banning, a reason should always be given. no reason was given in the block log. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:57, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
- Some of the things you've said here make me pretty sad Sims. I'm not sure who you think views Wikia admins as enemies, but surely we are all capable of seeing that everyone at Wikia is an individual with a unique opinion. So far the only people I have heard talk about bad blood between the sites are you and Romartus. We have tried to explain the role that IRC plays to the non-IRC-users, but I guess maybe you still don't fully understand Sims, because it's not about having "social status", it's about having friends. We all hang out and talk about our jobs, our schools, our lives. These days we barely ever even discuss anything that has any bearing on the site. Long gone are the days when IRC was the "faster better QVFD". I personally want to hear opinions from every member of the community when it comes to important things like deop votes and what have you, and the opinions we don't hear literally every day are actually the most important to hear. I honestly don't know what we did to make you feel like we thought of you as an enemy, but I'm here to tell you that's not the case. Also, I can assure that if someone ever copied content from here to Wikia without proper CC BY-NC-SA, I would not be the one showing up at Wikia to complain, that is the job of the original author.
PS- Banzai: I know we don't get edit conflicts much these days, but you should be able to just hit the back button on your browser, copy your text, then hit forwards and paste it. -- The Zombiebaron 03:22, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
- Some of the things you've said here make me pretty sad Sims. I'm not sure who you think views Wikia admins as enemies, but surely we are all capable of seeing that everyone at Wikia is an individual with a unique opinion. So far the only people I have heard talk about bad blood between the sites are you and Romartus. We have tried to explain the role that IRC plays to the non-IRC-users, but I guess maybe you still don't fully understand Sims, because it's not about having "social status", it's about having friends. We all hang out and talk about our jobs, our schools, our lives. These days we barely ever even discuss anything that has any bearing on the site. Long gone are the days when IRC was the "faster better QVFD". I personally want to hear opinions from every member of the community when it comes to important things like deop votes and what have you, and the opinions we don't hear literally every day are actually the most important to hear. I honestly don't know what we did to make you feel like we thought of you as an enemy, but I'm here to tell you that's not the case. Also, I can assure that if someone ever copied content from here to Wikia without proper CC BY-NC-SA, I would not be the one showing up at Wikia to complain, that is the job of the original author.
- Sorry about the edit conflict. Mr-ex didn't threaten to ban Romartus before he did either, he just banned him, no warning. Yes, this kind of thing happens on the wikia site, but I don't like seeing it happen here so I want to call it out like I see it. Zombiebaron told me the matter was discussed on IRC before the ban happened. What I see happening here, is that people who do not lurk on IRC are viewed as second class citizens here, just a step above an IP. I haven't seen Romartus harassing anyone on here, though he did confront someone about apparent plagiarism of someone else's article to make sure they had done it with permission from the original author. Just like if I copied your article onto the wikia site, Zombiebaron could visit the wikia site to ask me if I did it with permission from you. Don't worry, I wouldn't do it without your permission, this is just an example. I don't think Frosty should be de-adminned because he wasn't on IRC when the discussion about the banning went on. True, he should've put a note on Mr-ex's page, but I also think that when one admin goes too far, another admin should be able to reduce the ban. I have done that to Spike on wikia when I felt he was being unreasonably excessive. Another factor to look at before infinibanning someone is their record of prior bans. Also, when banning, a reason should always be given. no reason was given in the block log. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 01:57, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
- I banned romartus to test everyone's reaction. I know someone will unban him. and it has no relation to do with IRC, it only has to do with romartus being hypocritical. If we would had been trolling spike on uncyclowikia saying he is a furfag and a cretin, i guess we would be banned in less than 1 second. Romartus starts trolling here, and he gets unblocked instantly and sympathized by a bunch of friends. It has nothing to do with social status. Simslikesims is simply trying to twist the situation's explaination in their own favor. And wikia admins are NOT viewed as threats, if they don't disrupt the site. Too bad most do.--WELCOME TO UNCYCLOPEDIA HELL!!!!
09:50, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
- Mr-ex, I do not see the hypocrisy in what Romartus did. Please explain. And yes, if you had been trolling Spike on wikia, he would ban you, and I wouldn't reverse the ban because Rule 2. He was assuming authority he did not have here, true, but he did not insult anyone that I noticed. Also, considering that Romartus banned someone who trolled me with death threats in the forum for only a week, before the split, infiniban is too long for a first offense. You say you did it to get a reaction. Frosty thought that wasn't a good enough reason for a ban, apparently, and those who disagree with him now think that Frosty shouldn't be an admin. Was this your intended outcome? Please learn from this and don't ban just to get a reaction - that causes drama. I am not trying to disrupt the site, just to give my opinion. I thought that is what talk pages are for. But if I express my opinion in the Dump, then people can accuse me of disrupting the site or causing drama. And if they do not like me, that is what they will do. Most people here dislike Wikia, and many have extended that same dislike to Wikia admins just for being associated with wikia. This is what I see happening. I no longer go on IRC here because my n key does not work (I have to copy and paste the letter every time I type it). So I have not been able to be friendly to people on there lately, nor do I have any way of knowing what goes on there recently. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:30, 10 July 2015 (UTC)
- You know, if you were here (or I were there), I could probably fix your 'n' key. Got lots of experience fixing 'n' keys. They seem to break all the time, those 'n' keys. I got a funny story about an 'n' key breaking, actually. I should share it sometime. ~ BB ~ (T) ~ Mon, Jul 13 '15 7:05 (UTC)
- I often find my W key breaks, but that is how you walk forwards on many computer games. - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?) 13:20, 13 July 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks guys, I have also bee busy getting stuff out of my condo. That's how I've bee spending most of my days off, actually, & I've bee only working oe day a week ow that its o longer tax season. The wedding is i just a couple weeks - August 8th. I thought I'd ever use spell check but it helps ow that I ca't type a key o my keyboard w/o cutting ad pasting it. You get the picture from how I'm typing ow how it would look i that, oly w/o spell correct. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 02:50, 21 July 2015 (UTC)
- I often find my W key breaks, but that is how you walk forwards on many computer games. - B@NZai k!tten
- You know, if you were here (or I were there), I could probably fix your 'n' key. Got lots of experience fixing 'n' keys. They seem to break all the time, those 'n' keys. I got a funny story about an 'n' key breaking, actually. I should share it sometime. ~ BB ~ (T)
- Mr-ex, I do not see the hypocrisy in what Romartus did. Please explain. And yes, if you had been trolling Spike on wikia, he would ban you, and I wouldn't reverse the ban because Rule 2. He was assuming authority he did not have here, true, but he did not insult anyone that I noticed. Also, considering that Romartus banned someone who trolled me with death threats in the forum for only a week, before the split, infiniban is too long for a first offense. You say you did it to get a reaction. Frosty thought that wasn't a good enough reason for a ban, apparently, and those who disagree with him now think that Frosty shouldn't be an admin. Was this your intended outcome? Please learn from this and don't ban just to get a reaction - that causes drama. I am not trying to disrupt the site, just to give my opinion. I thought that is what talk pages are for. But if I express my opinion in the Dump, then people can accuse me of disrupting the site or causing drama. And if they do not like me, that is what they will do. Most people here dislike Wikia, and many have extended that same dislike to Wikia admins just for being associated with wikia. This is what I see happening. I no longer go on IRC here because my n key does not work (I have to copy and paste the letter every time I type it). So I have not been able to be friendly to people on there lately, nor do I have any way of knowing what goes on there recently. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 03:30, 10 July 2015 (UTC)
- You just edit conflicted a massive wall of text I just wrote and I cant be bothered to do it again :(. The long and short of it was- Mr-Ex777 just disagreed with Miley and never threatened to ban anyone. He is chinese and his english is not perfect- he can be misconstrued. There is no sort of "status" gathering you have to do in order to disagree with an admin- thats a ridiculous thing to say and just not true, anyone is allowed to disagree with an admin (more of the constant unfounded IRC bashing we see from wikia admins). Romartus was banned not for disagreement but for the hypocritical way he has been coming to this site and linking wikia pages and arguing about the split- which are behaviours we have seen many banned for on the wikia. I have no problem with people doing those things really, its just the hypocrisy of it that's the problem, for me anyway. No one is seen as a threat- both websites are pretty much dead there isn't a lot to threaten. I dont think you you would be banned, Simsie, for putting your opinion down on that forum- though I don't suggest getting involved. Also Miley, it's a bit weird you spread this issue to so many talkpages of unrelated people- did you want to start a bit of your own drama? - B@NZai k!tten
A note to you, my bitter enemy
So now that I'm a mighty admin man with powers that are both great and terrible, it would seem that we are mortal enemies. We should fight! What do you want to fight about?! I'm up for a wide swath of insults that both demean and degrade the very fiber of our beings, real personal shit that we say are just words but actually hit home and make us do a lot of crying and some soul searching... Or we could be petty, and combatative with one another, constantly voting the opposite way of the other out of spite rather than how we actually feel about the subject bringing scores of others into our blood feud by association... Or we could just launch some kindergarten insults towards one another from time to time.. I don't know. I've never really had an enemy like this before. The Woodburninator 
The vote was legitimate! ™ 01:59, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
- Congrats on your adminship! I suppose we could fight about the usefulness of the letter "n", or whether porn on uncyclopedia should be censored "for the sake of the children". I'm borrowing my fiance's computer right now, by the way, and I recently had a bachelorette party without a stripper because my 13 year old niece was there. So instead of going to a bar, we went to Red Robin, and we went wild at mini-golf and laser tag. At least it was fun, but not the normal idea of what a bachelorette party is like I guess. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 17:41, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
- *sigh* Nevermind :( I guess we can be friends again. The Woodburninator
The vote was legitimate! ™ 15:01, 6 August 2015 (UTC)
- *sigh* Nevermind :( I guess we can be friends again. The Woodburninator
Questions
I recently got banned from the other Uncyc for adding stuff to featured articles, so I came here. I'm curious: what exactly separates this site from the Wikia one? Does it allow shock images? Are external links not blocked? Are users here allowed to go wild with racist/sexist/homphobic/tryhard humor? Are any articles vastly different? Will mods block you for adding a few things to FAs? etc.--EpicWinner (talk) 20:19, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
- Probably the major difference is the weekly orgies. Admins might go wild with the banhammer from time to time but as with most online community projects its an ever-evolving violent clash of personalities that produces the spark for the funnies. Did I mention the orgies? -- Sir Mhaille
(talk to me)
Photoshopping
Can you help me with the Sega Mega Drive article? I think it would be cool if someone were able to photoshop the cover art of Genesis' Abacab onto the Genesis console, considering the console and the band share the same name and ABACABB is the blood code for Mortal Kombat. Maybe add a picture of Phil Collins or something? I'm not good at image manipulation, do you know someone who is?--EpicWinner (talk) 23:06, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
- Zombiebaron used to win Potatochopper of the Month/Year all the time. You might see if he has any time for it these days. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 23:07, 18 September 2015 (UTC)
Congrats
On the marriage. Hope you are all full of marital bliss and whatnot. The Woodburninator Minimal Effort ™ 03:34, 19 September 2015 (UTC)
- Thanks! Do I get a free t-shirt or something as a wedding present? ;) -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 20:00, 24 September 2015 (UTC)
Helping a Noob
Hey thank you for fishing a noob out of the barrel and adopting him as your pet goldie. Ive read the comments and sections of the website you sugested. Hope to God not to need much admonition. Cya. King of Fakes (talk) 17:14, 14 April 2016 (UTC)
Thank you for voting for Noble gases
DAP Dame Pleb Com. Miley Spears (talk) 01:58, 1 October 2016 (UTC)
First They Came
I don't disagree with the sentiment behind this at all, but it needs a little something extra for it to be funny. For the time being, it's just the rewording of the original poem. What if it ended with: "Then they came for me, and by that time there there was no-AAAAACK!", implying that They came for the author before she could finish the poem. Maybe put one of these banners at the bottom on the page:
Or something similar to that. The main satirical point is the same, but with a little bit of metahumor to bring it home. These are my suggestions. -- Kippy the Elf 
Talk Works ☃ 04:42, Jan. 29, 2017
- Sounds good, I think I'll steal that banner. It turns a chilling prediction into something more light-hearted. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 05:05, 18 February 2017 (UTC)