Forum:Vote to Op me! The Woodburninator!

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VOTING IS CLOSED: WOODBURNINATOR HAS BEEN OPPED.

Whelp, I've been here for a lot of years now. I've been a model citizen of this website, rarely causing issues or headaches where issues and headaches are undue upon the recipient. I would say I want this, but like all true leaders, it isn't about what I want. It's about what we need. So I lay out for you my campaign promises if lifted to the prestigious title of operating officer of this fair site.

1. I say why are we all editing here at 1, 2 or 3 o'clock in the morning? This is ludicrous. We need to stand up to big business and demand to go back to the standard 40-hour work week. 9 to 5 (EST) for everyone! Sure, that will leave the weekends a barren wasteland, but... Actually keeping the status quo there, so no biggie.
2. I promise to be a weekly drama muckraker. As drama is about the only thing on this site that actually gets people to edit, more of that please! And since, as an admin, I would have full ban immunity, this would be guaranteed to continue ad infinitum. Or until I get bored and pop off for months at a time. But upon my return, DRAMA ONCE MORE!
3. I will go undercover and bring down the once-mighty cabal. At this point I think it's just RAHB and a bunch of 13 year old Taiwanese boys anyway, so it shouldn't be even the least bit difficult.

• Bi-monthly witch hunts for sock puppets and evading IPs leading to mass banning of 95% of the community. But not you, my loyal subject voter. Almost probably not you.
• I'll probably write an article sometime eventually.

1. Good at formatting.
2. I get on IRC sometimes and lament whenever I don't see derpyy there. So you could come lament with me and we can become friends.
3. I just downloaded Rocket League for free with my monthly subscription to PS Plus on my PS4. It's a pretty fun game so far and you can play with me, and later you can tell your friends, like whoa! You played a game of remote control car soccer with an administrator of Uncyclopedia. And I'll even listen later as you tell me you lost all your friends.
4. I won't get too big for my britches like all those other admins who lord it over us like ASSHOLES! *Cough* Modus *Cough*
5. Nah, I'm kiddin. I probably will. This is too a mark of a good leader.
6. As an admin, I will have full access to both your password and home address. I won't use this knowledge for evil.

• • Vote for me!!!

The Woodburninator Minimal Effort ™ 19:57, 9 July 2015 (UTC)

VOAT!

Score: 5

• Against This guy is an asshole. The Woodburninator Minimal Effort ™ 19:57, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
•  For. I particularly enjoy your mass banning policy. Fuck people. -- Lost Labyrinth • (t) • (c) • (a) 19:58, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
•  For. First I have heard of this frankly genius drama-raking policy. ~EveryOtherUsernameWasTaken(dtf?) 20:02, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
• Zombiebaron. Zombiebaron - B@NZai k!tten (Meow?)B 20:03, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
•  Foreskin - Not particularly sincere, Sir ColinAYBCUNVFHWhoringMore Whoring at 20:06, Thursday 09 July 2015 -
•  For. On the condition that you break your nose again for us. -RAHB 20:28, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
  • Honestly the most important part of this entire forum is to get people to play Rocket League with me. The Woodburninator Minimal Effort ™ 20:59, 9 July 2015 (UTC)
• Strong For When I saw the title of this forum I was completely prepared to dole out one of my age old and completely predictable walls of text about how we don't actually need any new admins right now. I would probably have mentioned the fact that last year we opped approximately 23 users, most of which do nothing but sit around in IRC all day sharing pictures of naked men and farm animals. But then I read your campaign promises, Woody, and honestly I don't know what we've ever done without you. We have all grown too lazy and/or stupid to do the basic admin jobs you have promised to do. It is sad that our site has degenerated to the point where you have had to step in and say "Hey guys I'll do the hard work don't worry", but here we are. I'm sure you will do us all proud, -- The Zombiebaron 04:15, 10 July 2015 (UTC)
• Sure, it's not like anything matters anyway --Argylesocks (talk) 11:09, 10 July 2015 (UTC)

• :| wait.... Wut?! Am I honestly admin now? I made a joke forum in response to people making forums to de op people, and, more importantly, to play Rocket League with me. Which, I may add, no one has done. All in all I would call this forum an utter failure. You all suck. The Woodburninator Minimal Effort ™ 11:19, 10 July 2015 (UTC)
• Seriously, it's a really fun game, and someone should play with me. That is the main point of any of this. The Woodburninator Minimal Effort ™ 17:57, 10 July 2015 (UTC)
• I'd invite you to play Sims 4 with me, but it is a single player game. Oh well, there's always SimCity. But I play that about as often as anyone else these days. -- Simsilikesims(♀UN) Talk here. 19:08, 10 July 2015 (UTC)