User talk:Paizuri/Archive 3

Archivo Numero Uno • Archivo Numero Dos

RAPED YOUR TALK PAGE!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  04:40, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Slut. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 04:41, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

You know you can vote on whether or not I'm a slut here. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:03, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Only I'm allowed to rape your page. Delete Why's post now. We were made for each other.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 05:10, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, son, you're too late. You'll have to settle for sloppy seconds. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:18, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Also, Pelargonium is a dumbass. Why? You welcomed a cyberbully. Good job.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 05:38, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Who's a cyberbully? I'm not afraid of no cyberbullies. They come after me, I'll just cry HELPME! That's how brave I am. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  05:41, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Ha, no, I meant Pelargonium welcomed a cyberbully. I suppose I could have phrased that better....—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 05:56, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

You are just so witty, HELPME. I'd say more, but the Kid's Choice Awards are on and OH MY GOD MILEY CYRUS JUST WON THE FUCKING BEST MOVIE ACTRESS!!!!!!!!!!!! —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 06:12, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

What...? How the hell....—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 06:18, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Oh I don't know...kids are just stupid. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 06:20, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Oops, I thought you meant something else.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 06:21, March 28, 2010 (UTC)

Heh. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 06:22, 28 March 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for your vote! Here are two items left over from the garage sale. Keep one and cook the other one, good eatin'! Al in chainy 23:02 28 3 mmx

Hey Yous there

add this to your shit collection:

ΥΣΣ Collaboration: Nintendo

This person was a principal contributor to the March, 2010 ΥΣΣ Collaboration, helping Upsilon Sigma Sigma create Top 50 Requested content.

---

congratulations on a first successful collaboration, hopefully there will be many more! --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 20:15 EST 29 Mar, 2010

Yay! Thank you! --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 00:20, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Upsilon Sigma Sigma March Newsletter

March's collaboration on Nintendo, our first as a group went really well. You can drift on over to check it out in mainspace. Now onto frat business and stuff. First of all, we need to determine as a group a few things in terms of our monthly collaboration; will it really be a 'monthly' collab, or should we not stick to such a rigid timeframe? Secondly, we need to figure out how we're going to determine future collab projects. Currently we're voting on April's project, but we need to decide if we're going to vote at the end of each month for the following month's project, or if we're going to adopt a rolling queue like IC currently has. I'm leaning more towards the rolling queue idea, but I'd like to get a consensus on the subject. In order to vote on this, go here. I would like to take the time to point out that we are not IC; in fact we're kind of the opposite, whereas they take crap and turn it into slightly better crap, we create the crap that people want the most. Along these lines, any member of the frat is encouraged to contribute to each months collab, not matter how big or small. There aren't really any rules in terms of how we tackle these collabs, so the structure will kind of just spring up.

Ok, the second part of the frat of course is the individual creation of pages from the requested articles list. None of us, myself included, have called dibs on, started, or created any of these pages. I want to stress that this is just as an important part of our group as the monthly collaboration. I hope to make an individual article of my own in April from the list, and I encourage all of you to do the same.

Third, the lesser third pillar of our group, pee reviewing. I would just encourage you guys if you feel like it to go ahead and do an in-depth pee review or two in April.

Well, I think the start of Upsilon Sigma Sigma has gone rather well considering most groups don't get off the ground too well here, and it's all thanks to Aleister in Chains and Pelargonium, who both contributed to Nintendo. Without them, I feel the group wouldn't have gone very far, so please pop over to Frat Bro of the Month at some point and give them a shout out. Also, please feel free to browse the various sections of the group (I spent a bunch of time creating the frat page), and be sure to check the news tab from time to time, I'll be updating that regularly. I'm really looking forward to working with you all in the coming months in making some quality requested articles! --Sir Skinfan13 Talk {< CUN RotM FBotM VFH ΥΣΣ Maj. SK >} 22:15 EST 29 March, 2010

Sigiriya

If you're planning on adopting the article and giving it a better start in life, I won't be at all bothered if you remove the ICU. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:37, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, I really don't know anything about the subject. I was just removing a bad part that kinda bothered me. --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 16:43, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Same here - so there's nothing I can do to help it, and I suspect that's going to be the case with everyone else that'll see it too. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 16:47, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

But...can't you use some kind of Jew magic or something? Y'know...cast "kaballah mazeltov shalom" and see what happens. --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 16:52, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

{{Mental}}

Hi, I just made a much needed template on mental illness. I hope you like it, feel free to add any mental illnesses I forgot to mention.

The reason I mention it is that I am unable to add it to a few protected pages that it links to. Could you please do me the service of adding it to Economics, Ikea, Liberals, Masturbation, Ugliness, Vegetarian and Wikipedia. I assume you have the awesome powers to be able to do this for me.

Thanks in advance. English peasant 20:24, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Done. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 22:10, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Cheers, I'm proud of it now. I've offended myself with it at least five times. Could you check over Dianamania to ensure it is offensive enough if you get the time. thanks English peasant 22:35, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Don't be calling me...

... mental! --nldr 22:14, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Oh, don't worry. At least I didn't point out your Frenchiness. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 22:17, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Où est-ce qu'on peut trouver un sérieux? --nldr 22:19, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know what you said, but I'm guessing it was something along the lines of "I surrender to your superior wit!" —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 22:27, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Non, non, you are not even German/Vietnamese/Russian/etc to my connaissance. Ca te dérange si je fume? --nldr 22:32, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Van a comer mierda, cabrón. Yeah, Mexican on yo ass, boi. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 22:38, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Ah, mi amigo. Soy Eli Wallach. Usted come caca, puta! Yes I know it's broken... --nldr 22:49, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Haha. You referred to me as a superior (Usted) but you told me to eat poopoo. Sometimes I love language barriers. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 22:53, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

What about the border barrier twixt Mexico and the unmentionable nation up north? --nldr 22:58, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

You mean Canada? —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 23:02, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, them. How about that 5000 mile long border between you and them, huh? --nldr 23:04, March 30, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, we need to get some border patrol up there. They seem nice now, but we'll see how friendly they are when they let loose the terrists into the states. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 23:10, 30 March 2010 (UTC)

I agree with Nach, go pick on someone your own size, you fat meat eating Mexican! /me gives you smug look—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 01:11, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, like the fat meat eating Scottish! They eat anything deep-fried! --nldr 01:34, March 31, 2010 (UTC)

Nintendo

Hi. I've put in a few edits to the lead to hopefully punch it up a bit, took out the "History" topic line (maybe not really needed, and to make the page look a little less crowded) and the wikipedia link (people will know that wiki has a page). Please take a look(stop me, stop me before I edit again), and let me know what you think. Thanks, Al en'chains 1:44 31 3 mmx

You two...

You two are hilarious. If I could make a TV show with both of you just bantering back-and-forth, I totally would. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 00:50, Apr 1 2010

Haha. We try... —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 00:57, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

<3—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 03:30, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

</3!!!!! —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 03:30, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

We're the new Orian and YTTE! Or something like that. I just express my feelings. Are they SEXY?!?!?!—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 03:32, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

YEAH, BUT NOT FOR YOU!!!!! [audience laughter] —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 03:34, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

HELPME, sexy? Haha, yeah, good one... • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Thursday, 03:58, Apr 1 2010

I know, right? —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 04:02, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

Serious for a second

"I'll try this" You're doing reviews? Great! But first, I have to make sure you don't write a sentence per box. The review on UN:PRG is a bit misleading. That might not be accepted by today's standard. How long do you plan to make it?—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 04:57, April 1, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I know. I'm gonna try to make it as in-depth as I can. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 05:06, 1 April 2010 (UTC)

And it was very good, thank you! You've pointed out several things I will change. I was a little uncomfortable with the pregboob graphic, I'll kick that and maybe find another for a tiny pic there. I also like the debate section, that was fun to write and edit. The fashion psychic's, an interesting comment and a correct one, I wouldn't have noticed, thanks. And I'll try to introduce the cave girl story more interestingly. Thanks again for the review. I'll work on it a few minutes now, want to get to some of my construction articles, and then more next week (another day and then I'll be off for awhile, vacation-time. Yay). Al en'vacation soon 12:29 1 4 mmx

Have done some editing, and again, thank you, your review pointed me in the direction of edit polishing which already has made me happier with the page. You were right on about some of the weak points. Al 12:48 1 4 mmx

Congratulations new sysop!

Who died and made you an admin? King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:00, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Fuck off

What made you think you could write on my fucking userpage eh? You fucking interfering bastard. That's mine, this isn't Wikipedia you know. I WP:OWN that page and all of the articles I have made here so why cant you just fuck off.

But seriously, thanks English peasant 02:08, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

.

You need to go buy a spellcheck—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 04:08, April 2, 2010 (UTC)

Tell that to the guy who wrote that part. Seriously, everything down to military part was written by me, and the shitty parts were written by jupiterfox. —Paizuri MUN (Talk • Contribs • Poll!) 09:07, 2 April 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1th April 2010 - Always on time

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Word to your mother.

Apr 1st, 2010 • Issue 82 • You'd better watch out, you'd better beware: if any news happens, the Signpost will be there

Nominally Humane! some time Friday, 04:49, Apr 2 2010 UTC

VFS

For your vote in VFS and as promised last time You have been awarded a Certificate guaranteeing you safe passage whilst inside those areas of Uncyclopedia under Zionist domination. Certificate also redeemable for one (1) free bagel at your nearest grocery - simply print out and present to the shopkeeper to claim your free bagel with the filling of your choice. Rabbi Techno

You are either brave or stupid...

putting your Facebook up here, Michael Iforgotyourlastnameandamtoolazytogobackandlook. (I'm betting on stupid :P) • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 03:06, Apr 4 2010

Meh. I don't really care who sees my profile, honestly. Besides, you're like a seventeen year old Mormon. What are YOU gonna do? ;) --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 03:14, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

18, actually. But yeah, you got me there. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 05:33, Apr 4 2010

18? In just three years you'll be of legal age in Monaco. Right now you're still a minor. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:02, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

I kmow two people who live in Las Vegas. One of them I don't talk to much anymore on account of she's dead. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  06:04, April 4, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, those prostitution laws can really getcha sometimes... --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 06:24, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

I went to Vegas a couple times. It made me meh. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 07:09, Apr 4 2010

And after I complimented your article! --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 07:20, 4 April 2010 (UTC)

I calls 'em how I see's 'em. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 08:17, Apr 4 2010

Paizuri??

WTF?? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Monday, 00:20, Apr 5 2010

I know, now nobody knows his gender.—Sir ¬_¬ | Banter HOMOPHOBE!!! NOTM 00:31, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Oh hush. Don't go making me think this was abad idea. I have no regrets! --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 00:49, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Welcome, initiate, to Uncyclopedia!

Father Why do I need to provide this? welcomes you to the wondrous world of Uncyclopedia!

Somebody has awarded you a cookie! Now go play in traffic.

Greetings, Initiate Paizuri, and welcome to the Temple of Uncyclopedia! (If you aren't yet ready to accept Sophia as your Holy Potato, see your alternate secular welcome).

Thank you for your current and future contributions, assuming, of course, you aren't possessed with the spirit of a vandal. I pray that you have a long, happy and productive life here. But if you really want to leave, you can pass through the door that says "Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here." But I wouldn't recommend it.

BEGINNING YOUR NEW LIFE

Want six fun things to read?

This series consists of six lessons designed to Uncyclopedically guide you, the new believer, to living the life that would be pleasing to Sophia. These lessons will show that Sophia has given the new Uncyclopedian specific instructions as to how to live the very best life here possible, which means avoiding getting ceremoniously fried in boiling oil. (We don't really do that. Honest. Would I lie?)

• Beginner's Guide
• Our Vanity Policies - why we sadly do not accept articles about your friends
• How to be funny and not just stupid

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I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date.

What can you do?

At Uncyclopedia, writing articles is not a requirement, but it certainly is a fun and easy way to express your Sophiacal creativity. To write an article, it's recommended that you start it in your userspace (for example, User:Paizuri/Article about stuff) so you can edit it at your leisure. If you decide to create it in the cold, cruel world of mainspace, make sure it is in accordance with the policies laid out above, and if you're not done put the "Work-In-Progress" template - {{construction}} - on the top of it.

If you want to write and don't know where to begin, you might browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid of the unknown depths - dive right in!

And speaking of the depths, there's Imperical Colonization, of which I am currently Buccaneer Admiral, which means I took over when no one was looking. There's also the fine community service.

Where can you go for help?

If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. I was an adopted noob, and it kept me out of trouble. Well, some of the time. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to apply to be adopted.

BEWARE!

One final warning is that there are some users here you're better off staying away from. Be cautious in general, but there's one I'd avoid entirely. That's Pelargonium.

Again, welcome!   Father WHY??? (confessions)  00:29, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Haha. Thanks a lot, Why. :P --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 00:50, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Important Notice on Name Change

Unlike my post above, this one is for real. As far as I know, to officially change your user name, you have to go through Sannse. I don't think even an admin can do that for you. I'd recommend doing it ASAP. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:18, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe you should check sannse's talkpage. Aysap. --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 01:26, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Glad to see you followed my wise advice. You may have followed it before I gave it, but I'm used to dealing with temporal anomalies. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:29, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

You mean like how you went back in time and stole MY Noob of the Month award for September 2009!!! You thought I forget...gehehe...*cough*...Paizu never forgets...gehehehe... --Paizu • Maj. • JStw • MUN • LOB • Crap • WHORE • (Talk) 01:41, 5 April 2010 (UTC)

Wait, that was last year? I thought I won that in 2011. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:47, April 5, 2010 (UTC)

Viking

Is it any better for you now?  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  07 Apr 2010 ~ 01:15 (UTC)

Yep. Good job. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:42, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Let's try to take it VFH??  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  07 Apr 2010 ~ 03:26 (UTC)

I dunno if it's that good; maybe VFG? —Pelozurian (talk) 04:03, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

HowTo:Be Extremely Annoying

Actually I did that because I wanted to see if the original author was going to fix it, or whether or not it would be qvfd'ed in a weeks time. If you're going to take over, then it needs a substantial rewrite in order for it to become redeemable, as it's got a million different issues with it. Nominally Humane! some time Wednesday, 03:24, Apr 7 2010 UTC

Yeah, I didn't wanna change it too much in case she came back to work on it some more. If she doesn't edit it for a few days, I'll go back and rewrite it. —Pelozurian (talk) 03:29, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Nominated for the Foolitzer

One fine day...

--Funnybony    18:15, Apr 7

Thanks!

And what do you want? You think that because you voted for Why?:Do I need to provide this? you'll get some kind of thank you from Necropaxx? Ha!

• • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 22:39, Apr 7 2010

UnSignpost 4/8/10 - Oh hi Signpost.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Just like Grandma used to make!

Apr 8th, 2010 • Issue 83 • News even an Uncyclopedian can understand!

We deliver on our promises By PuppyOnTheRadio As stated in last weeks edition of the USP, VFS is over, and we've run out of material to be able to fill this particular edition. Discussion about what to include in here has been vast and varied. Sockpuppet of an unregistered user suggested we write an article about how it's his birthday today, but how are we going to be able to write an entire article about his birthday? Especially when the bastard hasn't invited us to his party or shared any of his cake with us. Other suggestions included writing the value of π to the first 1,000 digits, or planting drugs on an admin. As none of the regular writers are able to do anything mathematical, and we attempted to plant drugs on an admin, but they mysteriously disappeared before we could discover them, those options were excluded. So instead we have gone back to suggestions for what we were going to do for the April Fool's day issue, where EMC suggested we have an article which simply showed someone being hit in the face with a pie. Working on the assumption that a picture is worth one thousand words, this seems to incorporate elements from most of the ideas we have had so far. If you are interested in helping to pad out contribute fine quality writing to the UnSignpost, or just wanting to bring up items of interest for our intrepid team of editors to report on, drop us a line at the press room and we promise we'll be polite when we ignore it. Spinning some new yarns By UU Another week, another new Uncyclopedia project, it seems. The latest to be launched is the Summit of Spin, which purports to be "an "office" that makes it easier and more organized to collaborate on article serials". It seemingly has no rules, but claims to provide "a series of tools to facilitate writing", which sounds dangerously close to helpful, if you ask us. Intrigued, your ever-alert UnSignpost asked the project's founder, Multiliteralist, for some quotes, preferably lengthy ones for the sake of padding. He responded: "You like the truth, don't you? But you don't like it the way it is now? Join us." Which is all well and good, but doesn't exactly fill this article out anything like enough. Fortunately, he added: "Our door is open for anyone with - in the words of Sir Humphrey Appleby - some moral flexibility." That was slightly more helpful for our purposes. Fortunately, however, he followed that up with: "Early this year, I felt something was missing in the world. That something was money truth - and it was specifically missing in my pockets the world of organised news reporting. Whatever is true in the world - like how wooden wheels are far better than tyres made of rubber and wheels made of metal alloys, or how fluffy bunnies are infinitely useful for all kinds of things - I felt I had to bring these things out for people to see. And you, if you are as greedy as I am love truth as much I do, can join forces with me by working for Summit of Spin for a ridiculously low salary, considering how much you have to lie love of truth! I cannot promise you anything else but prolonged court battles blood, sweat and tears in our constant fight for better-paying clients a more honest world!" And we think that just about sums it up without us having to do too much actual reporting, so we'll leave it here. Why not have a look at the Summit of Spin and get involved?

Check out these pages! Someone wants to be banned Oh dear God, is it still going? World Cup fever starts here From our logs: 14:26, 6 April 2010 Under user (Talk | contribs) changed block settings for 167.206.233.170 (Talk) with an expiry time of 2 weeks (anonymous users only, account creation disabled, autoblock disabled) ‎ (ooh, is this a game of "state the bleedin' obvious"? OK: you're a twat. I win!) 15:53, 4 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Starsky133 (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 5 seconds ‎ (I have no life and nothing bothers me more than people who don't know the difference between "your" and "you're." :-)) 01:22, 3 April 2010 Zim ulator (Talk | contribs) blocked 123.243.77.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Because I said so: Random insertion of the phrase "Monstrous testicles" into an UnNews article is not funny unless you're extrodinarily lucky, and you, my fine douche bag of a fellow human, are not lucky.) Biopic of the Week You'd think that, him having been on the wiki for over 4 years, having written a bunch of featured articles, and recently become an admin, we'd have done a bio on RabbiTechno by now, wouldn't you? Arguably Uncyc's second most notorious Jew (because no-one ever remembers TKF is Jewish), and UotM wayyy back in January '08, the good Rabbi now polices the wiki with his kosher banstick as part of the increasingly Semitic but non-existent Cabal. Old-School Featured Article of the Week I'm a dick. A private dick. That's like a private dancer but with a gun and dances cost extra. That's how we do it in the detective game. It's a game like Clue, but without the cards or the board. Just the dice. And they always come up snake eyes. The name is Gwendolyne. Last name's not important. All you need to know is my friends call me Gwendolyne. My friends are bourbon and ice and I haven't spoken to ice in years. It was a stormy and dark night. Not a dark and stormy night. That's an unrelated story, one that’s got little to do with this narrative. That somber tale has got something to do with Paul Clifford and I'd tell you about it, but the library revoked my card. Something about expositioning too loud last time I was there. Sorta-Comeback of the Week A wild Gerrycheevers appeared! Gerry used April Fool - it's pretty effective! Necropaxx, RabbiTechno, Mordillo and UU used gullibility - it's not very effective! Gerry wins!

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:18, April 8, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

Hey, thanks for your vote at wotm. I too like ties in as many categories as possible. Just having a quiet alone night, winding down from my time in Vegas. What do you think of the progress of Tim Burton? I haven't grabbed onto it as yet, and gotten into the total flow of the page. Lots of time left. I like your new name! Al sans chains 2:31 10 4 mmx

You're so nice, you know that? Unlike some people. As for Tim Burton, it seems to be goin pretty well, though I don't really know what I could contribute. —Pelozurian (talk) 02:34, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Pelargonium, you're right. You're also wonderful at formatting on award pages.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 02:39, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Shut up. At least I can spell Boogaloo correctly. —Pelozurian (talk) 02:41, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Nice, huh? Look at the large bottom pic I added yesterday at HowTo:Frighten small children and have NIGHTMARES, with me laughing in the nightmares like this HA HA HA HA HA HA NIGHTMARE! Al, a few minutes and edit conflict later

^(O_oO)^ —Pelozurian (talk) 02:46, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Dude, where's my page?

Yes, I checked it but I didn't see it. It is like everything was removed after a certain date (before the time I posted the said-material). Do you suppose it is possible it has been rolled-back? Shanoman 23:06, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thank you so much!

I don't know what you did, but whatever it was, many thanks! Shanoman 23:08, April 10, 2010 (UTC)

Happy to help. —Pelozurian (talk) 23:09, 10 April 2010 (UTC)

Your bitches need stitches

--141.149.79.155

Thank you very much, sir. Do I know you? —Pelozurian (talk) 06:01, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm ID 129-44. The man with a plan. Of course you know me. --141.149.79.155 06:03, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Nope...can't say I do. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:04, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Heh heh heh...It's all business. --141.149.79.155 06:07, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Are you trying to creep me out? C-c-cause y-you are... :( —Pelozurian (talk) 06:09, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

This is about what you did. To those kids. Don't make this about you. --141.149.79.155 06:14, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

I'm terribly sorry. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:16, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Sorry ain't good enough, junior. You're gonna have to pay the price for your sins...--141.149.79.155 06:19, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Okay. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:23, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

That's right.--141.149.79.155 06:26, April 11, 2010 (UTC)

Yep. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:27, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Well? I'm waiting. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:34, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Nothin, huh? Well, if you'll excuse me, I'll be moving this to the bottom where it belongs. —Pelozurian (talk) 06:41, 11 April 2010 (UTC)

Mutaween

Thanks very much for taking time to read and advise on this article. As an off shoot I think I made an even better article with a spoof on Miami Vice and the Mutaween, Mecca Vice that gives more humor because the comparison is so absurd. On this one I'll do as you advise and will let you know when completed, so you'll know your time wasn't wasted. Cheers!--Funnybony    09:38, Apr 11

OK, Mutaween is major revamp from less horrible to more silly, silly being much more fun(ny). Please take another look if you have time, and kindly let me know if it's better. If you see anything to edit please don't hesitate. Cheers!--Funnybony    05:40, Apr 12

Alright, I'll try to look at it after school today. —Pelozurian (talk) 14:40, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

Sorry!

You may like this pic, unlike HelpMe who, since gay, cannot appreciate the finer curves of life. Thanks for your vote on Sideboob, appreciated. Al sans chains

I got a bit carried away... but then I just came up with an idea based on it... Dang it. I was about to have the See also interrupt him, but that's fine. HurricaneMa§ter 03:25, April 12, 2010 (UTC)

No, I'm sorry, that was a rude thing to say to you. :( You can add it back if you want, but try to refrain from al caps and tons of exclamation points; instead, try to use italics when you want to convey yelling. Good luck! —Pelozurian (talk) 03:30, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

THAT'S VERY GOOD ADVICE!!!!! I AGREE TOTALLY WITH THIS FORMAT!!!!! ALEISTER IN CHAINS!!!!! 14:24 12 4 MMX

YOU'RE WELCOME ALLY!!!!! THAT ARTICLE ROCKED!!!! —Pelozurian (talk) 14:37, 12 April 2010 (UTC)

HEY GUYS!!! WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT!!!! I LIKE HELP!!!

YOUR A LITTEL LAET HEP!!!! I LIKE PAI!!!

YOU'RE WELCOME

made me feel like editing FOR NO GOOD REASON!!!! also, "horse wiener".  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  14 Apr 2010 ~ 03:20 (UTC)

Happy to help. Whatever it was that I did. —Pelozurian (talk) 03:34, 14 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh you know what you did.  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  15 Apr 2010 ~ 02:29 (UTC)

About Nintendo

I'm thinking it'll end up as a QFA.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 01:13, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, I know. Also, thanks for fixing Happytimes' speeling errer. I'm sure he'll really appreciate that. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:15, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

That's actually grammar, not spelling. Also, I fixed one of your mistakes as well. >:|--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 01:25, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

We can't all be perfect like you. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:26, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

IM NEW AND CONFUSED

omg, i made this account today, and until midnght im sitting here on my bed wondering how the hell this website works.

where is my page? why cant i find my page? WHAT is my page? :| why is this website so wierd? am i even supposed to post anything here? what can i do on here besides read + write stuff? is there a chat room with losers like me chatting right now?

please explain

Pacman-teehee 13:31, April 15, 2010 (UTC) [it said to do 4 of these things:~, lets just hope it works]

Well...yeah, there is a chatroom, but you don't have to worry about that. And to make your article, just click on the red link and write something. And finally, no, you don't have to do anything, the welcome message was just to help you if you wanted to get involved. Its perfectly fine if you don't do anything but sit there and shit yourself laughing at our articles. :) —Pelozurian (talk) 13:59, 15 April 2010 (UTC)

teeheeheeee! ok, well what red button? i was asking about the chatroom because it's about the only thing that's unblocked on our school laptops [yeah i know, of all things UNCYCLOPEDIA is unblocked, maybe the department of education is just as stupid as you guys]. if anyone actually stays online on the chatroom that'd be pretty cool ^^ i want to get involved, but i always seem to have writer's block... ==' sad face anyway, what red link ? :|

Pacman-teehee 01:51, April 16, 2010 (UTC) OH! and also, how do i make a signature? Pacman-teehee 01:51, April 16, 2010 (UTC) seems so lame + boring =='

Where is this chatroom you speak of & why haven't I wasted countless hours there?  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Π   ~  ~  16 Apr 2010 ~ 02:05 (UTC)

in the community thingo :P how do i change my signature?? Pacman-teehee 02:31, April 16, 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 15/4/10 - Yet another on time delivery.

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Not Secretly Controlled By Mordillo, We Swear!

Apr 15th, 2010 • Issue 84 • News? Where we're going, we don't need... News...

Something Scary This Way "Comes" By Skinfan13 A recent infestation of glowing dildos has taken over the front page of Uncyclopedia. Many users were shocked on April 11th when they opened up their web browsers and were treated to bright green replicas of EugeneKay's penis. Everywhere. Even poor anti-Semite Mel Gibson couldn't escape the wrath of the glowing dick. And the reason for the Scream in Edvard Munch's famous painting was revealed - turns out to have been caused by a hoard of giant glowing EugeneKay penises - an understandable reaction. When asked to comment on the matter, users simply refused to acknowledge that they had seen the penises at all. "Well, I for one didn't notice anything. Glowing penii are so common around here that these particular examples of illuminated manhood really didn't make an impression..." said Aleister in Chains. HELPME had a different outlook on the whole matter: "of course I noticed, how couldn't I? They were everywhere!" he exclusively told our intrepid reporter. Random internet traffic took notice of the infestation as well, with 127.0.0.1 commenting" "Ballsack!!!11 alolololololololooll pasfsdkjfhaelkfjds PENIS PENIS PENIS." He was promptly banned. The infestation passed almost as quickly as it came and a sense of normalcy returned to the main page when the penises retreated into the dark and abysmal graveyard of unused image files. By April 13th, all traces of the Great Penis Invasion of April 11-13 2010 (as it is now being called) were gone. There are, however, unconfirmed reports that the menace still lingers close to the main page, just waiting to strike again soon. I See IC All At Sea By UU It has come to the attention of our ever-vigilant reporters (largely because Why? has been bugging us to write a story about it) that Why? has decided to stand down as Admiral of Imperial Colonization, the organisation that somewhat amusingly styles itself after British Imperialism, but uses American spelling. We didn't need to ask the outgoing Admiral for a comment, as he was falling over himself to give us plenty, so we randomly selected the following: "I'm anal for accuracy", he told us. Among other things. Anyway, if you want to follow in Why?'s footsteps, and those of his illustrious predecessors in charge of the Colonization project, you can sign up to be considered for the post here. If it helps, you may wear a nice hat (please provide your own hat).

Check out these pages! The seed of a good idea It's a surprise, it says so in the name... Tell Uncle Dex everything. Everything... From our logs: 17:54, 14 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS (Talk | contribs) blocked 204.185.215.1 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (On the charge of flagrant asshattery while in posession of an internet connection, I find you incredibly guilty) 20:05, 13 April 2010 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of infinite ‎ (I never gave you an inaugural joke ban? I blame you.) 23:03, 12 April 2010 Codeine (Talk | contribs) blocked 173.55.13.71 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (And the LORD said unto me: "Go ye, and smite the page blankers; they are as shit upon My heavenly sandal") 14:44, 11 April 2010 ChiefjusticeDS blocked 79.73.5.86 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (You sound clever, and therefore I am blocking you to ensure that your talents are not wasted on us.) 21:19, 11 April 2010 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked EugeneKay (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of a random ban time ‎ (chose your own adventure) Biopic of the Week Continuing our glorious occasional tradition of bio-ing people who haven't contributed for months and half the newer members of the wiki will never have heard of, let's have a look at Andorin Kato. An Uncyc stalwart since 2006, Andorin was voting on VFD, QVFDing stuff and writing good articles when most of today's active users were in short trousers (they're still in short trousers, of course, but it's been a while). In true on-the-ball Uncyc fashion, this hard work was recognised when Andorin was made UotM in November 2009. He was less than thrilled. The nostalgic return of Cajek Ban of the Week 11:39, 14 April 2010 RabbiTechno (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (About time I did this. It's been a good two weeks and I haven't done yet.)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

--ChiefjusticeDS 21:23, April 15, 2010 (UTC)

Nintendo

Hello. Thanks for the support at Giant Jew Band (in some countries it's "Ensamble Giaganticism Juden". The nom was a surprise. In an attempt to save the Nintendo nom I've done some edits on the first half, and will go back in in a few minutes. Please take a look at them and see if anything I've done has removed or evil-changed things you love, and if you approve of the changes. Your approval is important, as it was your page that you shared with Skin and me, and I would like to pull it out on VFH for you guys. It's got the most votes by far of any page on VFH, just has some anti's who I think we can at least ask to give it another read soon. The Mario pic I added a little while back was an idea of So So's, for example, in questioning why more Nintendo images weren't on the page. OK, I hope you like it, and I'll work on the bottom half and then let's whore it to the naysayers. Naysayers, naysayers, underneath a bridge, naysayers, naysayers, come look again and judge! Oh well, (and isn't it nice that Iwillkillyou has his feature up! Well deserved!) Al sans chains 22:04 16 4 mmx

Feature!

You and Skin should design one of those little feature boxes for the Frat, because Nintendo is featured starting at 00:00 on Monday! Congrats! Yay. Al sans chains 00:29 18 4 mmx

Yesssssss ^(>.<)^ —Pelozurian (talk) 01:06, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

I love you. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:07, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks, love you too bro. But your expression of love probably comes from an enthusiastic rush of chemicals at the news of a job well done (and you really brought this page along and then let us play on it), which you will have to watch out for later in life when some smart hustling girl wants to snag a husband to help raise her baby whose real father is serving 20-to-life. lol at this. Punch drunk. Almost time to sign off. Al sans chains 3:17 18 4 MMX

I like to count in the HoS, and I'm wondering, how is the credit split? Does Al get a .5 feature? If he does, I need to update the count.--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 03:31, April 18, 2010 (UTC)

Yeah, people who collab on an article that gets features each get half credit. —Pelozurian (talk) 04:59, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

Congrats! go ahead and replace your old, outdated, cruddy non feature box with a NEW and AWESOME feature box!

Featured ΥΣΣ Collaboration: Nintendo

This person was a principal contributor to the March 2010 ΥΣΣ Collaboration, helping Upsilon Sigma Sigma create Top 50 Requested content.

---

-- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 00:19 EST 18 April, 2010

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE —Pelozurian (talk) 04:59, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

Forum:Demographics

I find it hilarious that you've removed your Facebook link, so that now we can't go check to see if we actually knew your name, Sebastian. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Sunday, 09:55, Apr 18 2010

All part of the master plan of some sort. I'll put it back up eventually, provided I remember. —Pelozurian (talk) 18:36, 18 April 2010 (UTC)

Are you not Michael Ramirez? Who's Michael Ramirez, then? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 04:51, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

I don't know who Michael Ramirez is, but... Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 04:59, Apr 19 2010 UTC

Eeek! Stalkers! I'm gonna get raped by an Australian and a Mormon....... —Pelozurian (talk) 23:17, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

Fuck you

I wrote a paragraph response to a forum, and you edit conflicted me with the word "no."--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 02:05, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

Hahaha! Loooooser! —Pelozurian (talk) 02:08, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

It's okay hep - I've ignored his response anyway. I already know he's a Looooooser! Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 02:25, Apr 19 2010 UTC

Why does everybody call me "hep"? Did Orian make a nickname for me?--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 02:30, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

It's easier to type than HELPME - and I think I saw Orian use it first, but more likely than not he didn't think of it - he's just a really lazy typist. Oh, and I just crapped on that forum again. Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 02:47, Apr 19 2010 UTC

i don't call you hep i type it aaaaaaaall out cuz ur my best bud —Pelozurian (talk) 03:05, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

I hate being called by my full username, actually. But I'm just wondering where "Hep" comes from...IT COMES FROM HEPATITIS DOESN'T IT?! YOU GUYS THINK I HAVE AN STD!!!--Sir ~HELPME~ ^{Count! Awards! Pee! Help!} 03:18, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

You probably do after all your cyber-sex with Orian. —Pelozurian (talk) 03:26, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

Wouldn't that make it a CSTD then? Nominally Humane! some time Monday, 03:41, Apr 19 2010 UTC

Since when was hepatitis an STD? SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 04:54, April 19, 2010 (UTC)

Cuz we sed so. —Pelozurian (talk) 05:27, 19 April 2010 (UTC)

Mexico

So you're Mexican? Actually, I knew that before Forum:Demographics because I visited your user page once. Are you aware that Mexico is in horrible shape? The only thing anyone does with it, lately, is layer on another layer of multimedia, focusing on the overuse of the Aztec language (?) and Mexico's links to Nazi Germany (??). A few months ago, I worked on the list of states, but despaired of scrubbing the article generally, and I think even that much resulted in an edit war.

My own take on the country is reflected in my article on Chihuahua, Mexico. I used to go there once a year, before the government on this side began to use border crossings as another excuse for data collection. Spıke ¬ 23:34 20-Apr-10

Yeah, I know the articles pretty bad right now. I started a very rough rewrite on it a few months ago here, but I never really got around to working on it that much. —Pelozurian (talk) 23:42, 20 April 2010 (UTC)

It's a good start. The existing article actually has a section on history that is somewhat based on real Mexican history. This being a wiki, you could either steal that or at least use it for inspiration, if you got writer's block. Spıke ¬ 00:29 21-Apr-10

Thanks, I might do that. That article will be whipped into shape sooner or later...! —Pelozurian (talk) 00:47, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

Those are the exact words I said to myself when I saw Mormons. It's 3 years later. Here's the progress I've made. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Wednesday, 09:37, Apr 21 2010

Yu-Gu-Oh! Review

Thanks for your vote on Giant Jew Band. They all thank you for it, and promise you that they will play at your wedding. Al des chain 21 4

Hi there Paizuri, can you just explain to me why you tagged the article for review a week ago and then failed to post a comment explaining why you failed to complete it? I'm not accusing you of deliberately leaving it, I'd just like to know as I'm trying to stop tardy Pee reviews (it is a pet hate of mine). Please let me know. --ChiefjusticeDS 12:47, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Sorry, i got caught up in school and forgot all about it. i'll remove it. —Pelozurian (talk) 16:45, 21 April 2010 (UTC)

No problem, try not to let it happen again though. --ChiefjusticeDS 19:39, April 21, 2010 (UTC)

Emo Thanks

You made an emo girl happy! Because of your vote you gave, you have earned a kiss from that happy emo girl, as well as being spared from an mean emo's wrath.Iwillkillyou333 is also happy he made this nice, depressed template as a nice thank you. Now go get that emo girl's number, and take her to watch a warehouse fire. Fun, isn't it?

--DirectorWILLYOU 333Talk IF YOU DARE 02:34, April 22, 2010 (UTC)

Keyboard commando

This user is one of the biggest retards on this website who just sits on the computer 24/7 jerking off to pages on this website be warned – Preceding unsigned comment added by B10 (talk • contribs)

... —Pelozurian (talk) 03:10, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

Oh, don't even try to deny it. You know the troll speaks the truth. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} Saturday, 11:27, Apr 24 2010

Don't judge me! —Pelozurian (talk) 16:01, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

I'm judging you... hmmm, so you jerk off to Uncyc pages 24/7 do you.... welcome to the fraternity! Nominally Humane! some time Saturday, 16:09, Apr 24 2010 UTC

How many points do I get? —Pelozurian (talk) 16:14, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

HELP

Ive got a problem makin pages. even when somethin i type doesnt have a page allocated i cant create the new page for that search entry???! Posted it in village dump but disaapeared – Preceding unsigned comment added by Hatertroll (talk • contribs)

QVFD

Please be careful what you add to QVFD, the Harry potter article you added was actually a vandalised redirect. Always check the history of an article before adding things as QVFD is only for new stuff, everything else should go to VFD. Thanks, now get out there and revert vandalism and/or write something brilliant. --ChiefjusticeDS 17:07, April 24, 2010 (UTC)

YES SIR! WILL DO, SIR! —Pelozurian (talk) 19:52, 24 April 2010 (UTC)

Ok

I'll let you adopt me if you want...you also seem promising and I want the help with writing and a guide around Uncyc in general want the fame

Once again I failed to sign the damn page..--Lifelonghate 22:17, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

Here that's like that dream where you turn up to school with no trousers on, so accordingly: lolololol. --ChiefjusticeDS 22:21, April 25, 2010 (UTC)

You have no idea how many times that's happened to me! —Pelozurian (talk) 22:28, 25 April 2010 (UTC)

Really?...I thought I was the only one who did that during class....wait..what are you guys talking about again? "Self-indulgence" right?--66.91.110.183 01:10, April 26, 2010 (UTC)

Once again I failed to sign the damn page, again.--Lifelonghate

Looks like I'll have to start with the basics... ;) —Pelozurian (talk) 01:36, 26 April 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for letting the ghosts romp on the main page. They scared the Magical Wizard too! Al des chain 22:34 30 4

Do the basics contain large amounts of phosphate?? I am highly allergic to that crap. Don't want to spread my boil-juice all over your desk.--Lifelonghate 15:21, April 27, 2010 (UTC)

Oh shit...looks like I'll have to get the bargain brand. Full of a safe phosphate substitute! —Pelozurian (talk) 02:37, 29 April 2010 (UTC)

You know, I heard that Panasonic and the Coca Cola Company both have several products that are considered phosphate substitutes. I dunno why you don't have some readily available.--Lifelonghate 12:39, April 30, 2010 (UTC)

It's because you didn't close your tags. Close them like this <tag></tag> with a backslash in front of the closing one. Any questions? ;) —Pelozurian (talk) 20:56, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

UnSignpost 1 May

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost: Special Weekend edition

The Newspaper 4 out of 5 Dentists Agree On!

April 22nd 1st May, 2010 • Issue 85 • Insert penis joke here

The launch of a new and exciting weekend edition. Maybe. By PuppyOnTheRadio "Where is my signpost?" was the cry heard from the world wide masses this week. "There should have been an issue on the 22nd and on the 29th, and nothing seems to have been done about it." Fear not, gentle reader, for the signpost will not go gentle into the good night. We have instead taken a brief hiatus for no reason that we could conceivably come up with, and now we are back in a blaze of glory. For those who are unaware of our proud history, the next issue, coming out this Thursday, will mark the (roughly) 2 year anniversary of the creation of the UnSignpost, the unperiodic periodical started by Dr. Skullthumper and Cajek. The good doctor, at the time of the first issue, was asked what his feelings were towards creating the first formalised forum for spam within Uncyclopedia. It was from this that we now have the immortal words "Those assholes better appreciate this. They'd BETTER." Now, two years on from those words of wit and wisdom, the UnSignpost is still struggling going strong. There have been varied reports as to why the USP has not been released. One suggestion is that regular contributors just "couldn't be bothered writing." Others have suggested that it comes down to the unwillingness of the head editor, who was recently heard to say "I'm so against... this... again... (E)xistence is far more than (it) deserves." One of the more probable reasons for the lack of issues may be that the news has now gone viral, and is available more readily through facebook then it has been previously. One facebook semi-regular, who bears a remarkable resemblance to a Silent Bob inaction figure, has said of this development "Excuse me, but I think your geek is showing." Dexter111344 supported the move to the social networking site by saying "I won't be joining as I don't intend to ever make a Facebook." Another possibility is the number of users now communicating via UnSkypelopedia. When asked for a comment, EMC said "OH FUCKING CHRIST I'VE CUM" Dr.Skullthumper, however, said "I started both of them.", and then wished to make reference to some forum or something. Ethine, however, was somewhat more constructive, informing this reporter that "Since it's getting close to summer, we'll likely have more calls, as most people's schedules are slowing down. As well as calls, we have the neat little chat thing at the bottom, where everyone sexually harasses each other when calls aren't going." Despite several attempts, I still haven't been sexually harassed. One reason why users have not been as distracted recently is due to the enormous amount of work going on at PEE review. At present there are articles waiting for review which have been there for over three weeks. For all those who are looking to get the review process back and alive, please pick up an article for review today. Your time and investment into this proud tradition can create the next great article, like the recently featured A wizard did it or the recently nominated UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out, hailed by some as "the most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years" Another reason why many users may be distracted is the number of collaborations that are currently in progress. Of those there is Tim Burton, being cleaned up by the team at ΥΣΣ, lead by the fantastic Skinfan13. Also starting to make some ground in the spread of reliable information is the team at Multiliteralist/Summit of Spin, lead by the wonderful Multiliteralist. And of course, coming out blinking from seeing the light of Discordianism is the ever faithful Imperial colonization, lead by everyone's favourite canine, RDB PuppyOnTheRadio. And of course, another reason might simply be that the team here at USP are all running around arranging bake sales to assist with Poo Lit Surprise, the bi-annual competition that actually gives prizes to the winners. The most likely explanation, however, is that nothing newsworthy ever happens on Uncyclopedia

Check out these pages! UnNews:Windows 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 came out Looks who's out of the closet. The most profound and groundbreaking article to hit Uncyclopedia in over 50 years From our logs: Flammable blocked 86.171.18.85 with an expiry time of infinite ‎(YOU ARE SO COOL SO COOL AWESOME LOL) ChiefjusticeDS blocked 91.195.183.211 with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(Ah, that may be true, but you are a wanker, so it evens out) Olipro blocked 92.4.117.223 with an expiry time of infinite (YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED IN THE ARSE WHILE WATCHING A YANKEES GAME?) Mordillo blocked 217.28.207.226 with an expiry time of 1 week (time's up! you need to go to the toilet to do some poopy!) RabbiTechno blocked 91.195.183.213 with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(Cyberbullying. Matthew R. would like to point out that while he may be gay, you are banned) Olipro blocked YOUR TOO SLOW! with an expiry time of infinite ‎(your spelling is shit, it's spelt "YOU'RE" ... so that means you're a fucking retard) ChiefjusticeDS blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 days ‎(Blessed be the Uncyclopedia admins for they shall lead us to the promised land, also bye bye!) Mordillo blocked God-Is-Cool with an expiry time of 40 years (It took them 40 years not 40 days you bloody heathen) Biopic of the Week What can anyone say about Maniac1075. There are rumours that he is not an individual, but rather a multinational conglomerate of authors who do nothing but write quality articles on an extremely high rate. Or at least on an extreme high. However you look at it his contributions to date have been fast and furious. There is definitely something odd with him at least. If nothing else, he has a scarily in-depth knowledge of the world of professional wrestling. In fact he has been nominated as both Writer of the month and Potatochopper of the month. There is a particular school of though that says that these fields here should be filled in with any old garbage in order to ensure that both the left and the right hand sides of the USP are of the same length. While we appreciate this sentiment, the truth is that the USP is known to be constantly at bursting point with information that we can't fit into one column, and so this right hand column is essential for the stuff that we can't fit elsewhere. SCROTUM The above section is not a prime example of the statement in the section above. Please feel free to ignore it.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by fucking magic. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 11:42, 1 May 2010

Thanks

Sorry if i placed this in the wrong place, i don't know how to respond to your message, please tell me if i have (i'm that stupid) i just wanted to say thanks for the help + one thing, i uploaded a picture, how do i add it to a page?

if a picture shows up then i got it right (if its wierd then direct me on what i got wrong please)

‎Image:This_is_world_war_2.jpg|thumb|240px|if this picture doesn't show up please help --Shoreyo 13:57, May 1, 2010 (UTC)]]

thanks for the help --Shoreyo 13:57, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

You have to place two brackets around the beginning and end, like this:

[[image:This is world war 2.jpg|thumb|240px|Image caption here]]

Which would produce the picture on the right:

Image caption here

It's okay if you're still having issues with this; I had a lot of trouble with this when I first started too. ;) —Pelozurian (talk) 17:53, 1 May 2010 (UTC)

April collab

ΥΣΣ Collaboration: Tim Burton

This person was a principal contributor to the April, 2010 ΥΣΣ Collaboration, helping Upsilon Sigma Sigma create Top 50 Requested content.

---

Thanks for all the hard work last month! -- Sir SF13 (Talk) GUN WotM RotM FBotM VFH SK Maj. ΥΣΣ 22:05 EST 1 May, 2010

You're welcome! Sorry I couldn't do more though... :/ —Pelozurian (talk) 02:45, 2 May 2010 (UTC)

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recent UOTM campaign.

Your support is greatly appreciated.

—Unführer Guildy Ritter von Guildensternenstein 02:12, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

---

Mecca Vice will skip your home

"Much thanks!"

--Funnybony    06:44, May 3

UnSkype

Hey! Just saw your addition to the UnSkype page, and I figured I should let you know that you need to adjust your privacy settings on Skype to allow your online/offline status to be visible on the page. Thanks,  

Okay. —Pelozurian (talk) 04:42, 8 May 2010 (UTC)

Discordianism and Paizuri

You may know that, while Discordianism got 13 for votes, it didn't pass VFH. I'm asking all those who voted no for suggestions for improving the article. I know you said as written it confused you, so any suggestions you have would be greatly appreciated, and other formal talk. Thanks! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  23:04, May 10, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks for posting comments on Talk:Discordianism. If you have more ideas, that would be great. King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  01:17, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

You're welcome, though I don't really have any ideas for the article :/ —Pelozurian (talk) 01:20, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

Pokety Pokety Poke Poke POK

Hi, Michael! SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 13:43, May 11, 2010 (UTC)

Heya, Mohammed! How's the wife and kids? —Pelozurian (talk) 22:26, 11 May 2010 (UTC)

All dead, thank you. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 06:39, May 12, 2010 (UTC)

How about the other set? —Pelozurian (talk) 22:15, 12 May 2010 (UTC)

Haha, you got blocked.

Nub.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 01:26, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Ironically, you posted that right after my block expired. LOL N00B!!!11!!!1!11!11!1!. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:29, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

I did that on purpose so you could respond. UN:FAIL.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 01:30, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Are you sure you weren't just dying to hear from your only stright dude friend? UN:GAY —Pelozurian (talk) 01:33, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

Heh, I was just reading that. And anyway, UN:Paizuri sucks assbarf proves my point.--Sir HELPME Talk (more? --> CUN ROTM NOTM Pleb USS Pees SK ) 01:36, May 14, 2010 (UTC)

Really? Because I think UN:HELPME eats cock for breakfast proves the point much better. —Pelozurian (talk) 01:37, 14 May 2010 (UTC)

A day in Uncyclopedic history - Christian Bale has been featured!

Matfen thanks you for your vote! His article could not have been featured without you...

Thank you brother, although you'll notice the next pack of fucking M&M's you eat will only be half full. Mwahahaha... --Matfen 12:24, May 15, 2010 (UTC)

Regarding Your Message about my article

I give much thanks to your suggestion: I did the article thinking of Alexander the Great :P but did you have problems with the non-Romanized spellings? What should I trim out? Romaioktonos 00:13, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Reply to the second message

Ok... then I might need to trim out parts... Which parts do you recommend that I trim? – Preceding unsigned comment added by Romaioktonos (talk • contribs)

I hate to sound rude but, well, everything. Most of the sections are walls of text that could be a little more simplistic. Not to say that you should dumb it down, but try to make it a bit more accessible and easier to understand that you're comparing her to Alexander the Great. :) For some examples you could read Earth, which is written from the point of view of an alien, or Printer Ink, which is described as an extremely valuable commodity. —Pelozurian (talk) 00:34, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

That's no problem, but the problem lies in my inexperience. I submitted my article on Pee review and it hasn't received any review since the last time I checked. I will probably need more thorough analysis to take effective action. --Romaioktonos 21:21, May 16, 2010 (UTC

Demystification of Humor

Boukephalos is a joke about Alexander's Horse Bucephalus (or Boukephalos in Greek, meaning Bull's head), and the 300 is the reference to the Theban Sacred Band (which was also sized at 300 men). Alexander did send a expeditionary force which was shot down by the nomads (hence the section about the campaigns against the Skythoi (Scythians)). Britannia campaign is purely fictional. I also set the nationality to be Macedonian because many people erroneously believe Alexander to be Greek :P

Wow, I can tell you're putting a lot of work into this. :) I hope that my suggestions help to improve it. —Pelozurian (talk) 00:34, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

Almost forgot, the less obvious joke was about Crete/Krete and GTA, which makes sense when the reader knows that Cretans are famed as liars and brigands. Perhaps one of the more obvious joke is about Sudo (the superuserdo that overrides security) --Romaioktonos 20:05, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

I was walking by on the road of "Recent Changes" and saw an update, so I stuck my head in. I believe that there is a template for articles that are funny but require a good knowledge of the subject to get. I don't know what it is, but I've seen it before. If your article is still a little too esoteric for the common reader, perhaps you could put that template on there.--Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 20:11, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Thanks! I think it belongs to that section :) Romaioktonos 21:22, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Alright then. After a bit of searching, this is what I found:

It seems to apply to more Scientific Theory articles and such, but I suppose it could be applied to your article, or you could copy the template over into your userspace and edit the copy to apply a bit more to your article. The code you want to put at the top of you article, should you want to use this template is {{Template:AOC}}. --Sirrah CatshirE Chess the Striker2117 22:00, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Oh yeah, that would fit in pretty well. —Pelozurian (talk) 22:40, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

iCarly

I'm sorry, but I don't see how all attempts to alter the current version are deemed inferior vandalism, especially when the current version was the biggest vandalizing attack of all. It's not even a parody (I doubt that shameless promotion of a show falls into that category). And it has a terrible rating, so it can hardly be considered the best verision possible. It seems like iCarly fanboys and girls are trying to disguise their biasedness toward the show as attempts to stop commotion by settling on the RANDOM VANDALISM version over the original one. HowdidIgethere? 00:53, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

I understand how you feel (I don't really like the article either), but what you're doing is kinda replying to the article's content...in the article itself, which is a big no-no. If you like, you could try to rewrite it, but discuss it on the talkpage first please. :) —Pelozurian (talk) 00:41, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

kk.HowdidIgethere? 00:53, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

ICU

Make sure you add the tag in accordance with the deletion policy and the commandments of tagging, the article you recently tagged with the ICU was only four minutes old, let's give the author a chance to get going, if they are going to get going; it's probably a QVFD candidate rather than an ICU if they don't. Now pedal faster; the bubbles in my jacuzzi are growing weaker. --ChiefjusticeDS 16:59, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Maybe I don't wanna, huh?! What are you gonna do about that! FIGHT THE POWER!!!! —Pelozurian (talk) 17:43, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

Check thy inbox.

FB. SIRE FREDDMOOSHA AMUSE ME 17:49, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

MAybe I dont wanna, huh?! What are you gonna do about that! FIGHT THE POWER!! —Pelozurian (talk) 17:51, 16 May 2010 (UTC)

Pissing downwind

Hi! Thanks a ton of sand for voting for Warm piss Sandstorm. The winds blew in from the mountains (hills) around Vegas to bring warm sandstorms to the strip. Appreciated. Meet you around the chicken coop. Al des chains 15:47 21 5 MMX