User talk:Mordillo/archive14

rape!

Yay! I got an admin, wait till I tell teh boys about this conquest. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 16:33 8 May 2009

/me looks at the back door waiting for Sycamore ~ 16:44, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOT MORDILLO! YOU BASTARDS! DAAAAAAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:22, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

It was sycamore! He made me do it! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:23 8 May 2009

I've gone Black, I'm slower affecting my reaction times unless to run away from the white man, and I commit sex crimes randomly. It's working out better than I thought.--Sycamore (Talk) 17:29, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Damned you and archiving your talkie page when I'm at work being swamped with lunatics. I reserve the right to rape you on some other occasion, then! You'll never see it coming... ~_^ -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 20:21, 8 May

Hey guys, remember that one time Luvvy raped that guy and everyone saw it coming! That was awesome. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:54, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Umm... no. I think I might have been drunk at the time. Which usually doesn't happen. I blame whatever Ollie put in my drink for that time... O_o -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:02, 8 May

Finally

It's about damn time you whored it. Saberwolf116 17:31, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

You do know that you just added another line to my fresh talk page?! ~ 17:33, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

What do you expect? You're an admin, your talk page has it's cherry broken pretty easily. Saberwolf116 20:08, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

YOU'RE GAY TOO?!! ~ 20:11, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

No. It's a sign against the almighty god and our lord and savior Jesus Christ.

REPENT!!!!! Saberwolf116 00:25, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey Mordillo! I think another header is necessary.

Since this is both helping me, AND annoying you, I decided you are the man to talk to. Where's my feature for winning AotM Who can I blame for this? Can it be Orian? Please? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 17:37, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

There. I hope you choke on it. ~ 17:44, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Why would you want to blame me? It's cos I'm gay isn't it? You HOMOPHOBE! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:31 8 May 2009

YOU'RE GAY?!?! ~ 18:44, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I don't insult people by calling them gay. I do however sometimes insult gay people by calling them straight. Hey Orian, you want to go pick up some girls with me, you goddamn chick magnet you. You lover of Vaginas, and hater of all things penis-related. Yes, you Orian. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 19:03, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I can't help being a chick magnet. It's because I'm gay, you should try it sometime you big fag. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:04 8 May 2009

That's it Orian! I am never going to question your sexuality again! You are forever an incredibly heterosexual man in my eyes. When I think "Orian" I shall now also think "Wilt Chamberlain". Don't know who that is? He's a basketball player who allegedly had sex with at least 20,000 women. Yeah. You're that guy. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 21:28, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey... again.

I was just looking around this place (love it here, hate it at Wikipedia)... and I was wondering if you would spare the time to addopt a poor person like me who has yet to learn how to be funny and just not stupid. So what do you say? - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 19:20, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

No problem. How would you like to start? ~ 19:52, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I would like to learn just how to make a funny article. Ive read most of your articles and I cannot believe how funny they are... Teach me o' master!- - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 21:03, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

First lesson: Always log in. Also hello, I'm orian, nice to meet you! :) ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:59 8 May 2009

Lesson learned and Orian thanked. Nice to meet you. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 21:03, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Lesson Two: Always spell Orian's name correctly (don't think I didn't see you...). And never take any of us seriously, unless we're being serious. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:06 8 May 2009

Orian gives someone advice on spelling correctly? Hmm... Also: they all want to be adopted by the Jew. Why do they always want to be adopted by the Jew? --UU - natter 21:07, May 8

Shut up UIOOIO. I know how to spell my name. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:09 8 May 2009

Awww... no fighting, boys! And to my shock, someone asked to be my kid on my talk page not too many weeks ago, but they sorta failed to ever respond to my answer which I forgot what it was, so it never ended up going anywhere... :o -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:15, 8 May

Jews are nice and cuddly... and also

Dont know how I did it, but I finally got the hang of this template stuff.

And was it me who just screwed up the topic below this?- - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 21:19, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

A quick edit of the page, removing your award template, and clicking the preview button fixed the page, so I suspect it's something in the template that needs a litle tweak. Don't ask me what needs tweaking, mind, I don't do wikicode that well. My wiki-fu is weak. I'm much better at finding problems than fixing them. (Unless they're in Orian's spelling). However, on a scale of 1 - 10, I'd say it's not a very big problem, and you'll probably sort it fairly soon. So don't worry too much about it! --UU - natter 21:41, May 8

Fixety fix fix. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:51, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

So what did all you guys do when you were fairly new? Go beg acceptance from the common user? And UU, this award seems to fit you.

- - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 21:59, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Another fix. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:09, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Wht'd I do that time!- - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 22:11, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

When I was new, I got nominated for and won Notm. That's a good start, since then I've been mostly but not limited to whoring my way around on talk pages and doing minor spell checking and reverting some obvious vandals... :o -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:14, 8 May

Ugh, ill look around... Master, any ideas?- - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 22:23, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Best thing to do is to start writing, which is in the end what we're all about. Find something you like, write a pardoy about it. you don't need to do any fancy edits to begin with - templates and such. Plain text will do. Writing good stuff will always make people like you instantly. ~ 22:28, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

I will try... and can anyone see what is wrong with my user page, its acting retarded like my awards.? The top right corner? Thanks! - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 22:31, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Fixed. =) —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:34, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Hi, angel, I am Mahm00shA and pleased to meet you. Here is what you can do: Read HTBFANJS at least 5 times. Read the Beginner's Guide, too. Now, after you are done with the reading, you should be able to come up with a funny idea for an article, and if you dont, there is a corner here somewhere where you can find ideas for articles; titles of yet unwritten articles, you might like one of them and get to write it. Should you write an exceptionally good article, your NOTM award is guaranteed. Good luck :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:38, 8 May '09

Thanks... I might have an idea already but I need to do some brainstorming first. Wish me luck! And I bet I will loose count of the days and get nominated on my 34th day.- - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 22:41, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Just asking, does a HowTo count as an article? Because those have caught my interest. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 22:44, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

yes it does. Also, be careful, the late NOTM nom happened to me, got nommed a couple of weeks late. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:47, 8 May '09

Thanks for the tip. I have the beginning done on paper but need to expand. And Mordillo... when im done with this article can I have permission to expand the HowTo:Make your first HowTo page. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 00:50, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Your user space really is a dump, you know?

I saw the Loch Ness Monster on your user page!!! You're hoarding our random sightings, you know? :P -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 20:52, 8 May

I know, all sort of random ideas I'll get to write sometimes. Also, did you notice that official notice on the top? Also, I'm away for an hour and there's a whole damn party on my page. With gay sex and everything! ~ 21:46, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Gay sex? Eww! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:49, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Yes, I saw that notice. Makes it harder for me to get my sticky little paws (sportscar red nailpolish) on you for a real rape, since everyone's expecting me to do it, now... *grumbles and tries to look away in horror at the mostly male-on-male activities* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:08, 8 May

And now I saw bloody Elvis as well. What is it with those random sightings and your user page?! O_O -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:23, 8 May

AND ELVIS AGAIN! WHAT THE..?!! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 04:12, 9 May

HaShalom Alaikom wa Rahmat HaShem wa Barakatoh

Just dropping by to say hello to one of my favorite Jews my one-and-only favorite Jew. Also, evening Mordillo. Also also, PENISPENISPENIS, everybody must have one three penises on his talkpage. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:49, 8 May '09

At least three if not more, inshaallah!~ 21:50, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Actually, reinforcements are on the way, 17480 penises are expected to arrive by the end of this month Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:53, 8 May '09

All circumcised I'd hope. ~ 21:55, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

For sure ;) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:09, 8 May '09

I like my lollies better circumcised... *slurps* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:11, 8 May

my lolly was circumcised *ahem* with an axe. And the doctor was cross-eyed, too ;) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:17, 8 May '09

And trust me mate, size does still matter to me... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:26, 8 May

8 isnt bad, is it? ;) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:40, 8 May '09

All right, what's going on here?

That'll be just about enough of that! You two, I wanna see at least one foot of space between you at all times. And for god sakes Mamoosha, zip up your pants. -OptyChaperone 22:44, 8 May 2009 (UTC)

Yes, sir. Though, some heterosexual stuff was needed to balance the gayness of orian's (hi, orian!) /me zips up Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:50, 8 May '09

I dunno how hetero hanging out on Mordillo's talk page with your johnson out really is... -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:57, 8 May

that was for educational purposes; cons of circumcision :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 23:01, 8 May '09

Who said anything about me wanting to have anything to do with his johnson?! O_O Especially when he fails the "strategic measurement test" (If there isn't an article on that, one could write one about the vileness of female logics, right? ;D )... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 04:09, 9 May

Hey

There's a typo in VFD Rules:

if you are an IP or a user of less that 4 days "That" should be "than". Just thought you should know. Saberwolf116 00:27, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Also, what do you think of this? Saberwolf116 00:44, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, fixed. About that, I think I SHOULD GET SOME BUTTSEKS! ~ 17:08, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Adoption

I just wanna learn how to write, I read some of the articles around here and I have NO idea how to twist reality into humour like that. Just wondering if you had any tips? – Preceding unsigned comment added by CanadianNine (talk • contribs)

You can start off by signing your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. It's really easy, see? :) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 04:14, 9 May

Learning new things already ;) I thought it was automatic if i was signed in. LOOK -> CanadianNine 04:31, 9 May 2009 (UTC)

Start off by reading best of Uncyclopedia and then carry on to get some ideas from here. If you don't want to start with long articles, try to take a current piece of news and write an Unnews piece, they're usually a bit quicker and easier to write. Do you have any ideas you'd like to write about? ~ 17:07, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

I read [1] online today and was thinking about that, but I'm not sure if I would be able to make that into a joke that wasn't super offensive. CanadianNine 21:42, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

The worst thing about that is that it's not surprising. On a lighter note, offensive stuff is generally accepted, so long as it's funny. However I'd leave a subject like that alone while you're just starting as it's very difficult to do well. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:50 10 May 2009

Why is that every one seems to answer in my name? But in this case I partially agree with Orian, no problem with offensive at all, but these sort of items had numerous articles done about them in the past. Having said that, nothing wrong with trying another one as your first article. ~ 07:51, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I don't claim to answer in Mordillo's name, I just toddle around on your user page cuddling people (still can't ban you, so "morning Mordillo" as well) O_o -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 08:17, 11 May

THINKER

HI! My name is THINKER: you might remember me, I write hilarious shit, and you and I are friends for all intensive purposes (though in all sincerity, you are probably one of the coolest bastards to ever roll through this crackhouse, and because of that, I will actually yield to your word -- feel good about that, you fucking kike). I have to talk to someone in "authority" around here regarding my next masterwork (though obviously since we're still with this bullshit URL I use the word 'authority' with the the looseness of a Thai hooker's well-worn asshole). My next brilliant article is just that: fucking brilliant. however, it involves full-frontal male nudity. And while I know that that would normally be perfectly fine around here, the catch is that it involves video. Yeah, my cock, balls, and every other part of me. On video. Look, just fucking IM me. --THINKER 04:19, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh OK!!! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 04:28 10 May 2009

unfortunately, teh cabal sez no to homoeroticism-- uh.. I mean if they had existed, they'd have said no.. You know there is no such thing as teh cabal Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 07:10, 10 May '09

It's pronouced the. I mean not that I should be picky about typos but, yeah. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 07:31 10 May 2009

strange.. my ye olde oxforde dustey booke of meaninges of donkeye shites that art wordes sez 'tis teh Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 08:59, 10 May '09

Thinkerer, you are absolutely a raving maniac, which is why I love you. Not in that sense though, that's Orian's job. Whadaya need? When are you around IRC? ~ 17:05, 10 May 2009 (UTC)

Speaking of which, I don't think I've seen Mordillo in IRC since... since I thought I was pregnant, so that's... over a month ago. O_o -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 19:29, 10 May

I thought I'd missed my period last month too. It's always late! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:59 10 May 2009

Wow, man! So, where do you bleed from? Just asking Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:07, 10 May '09

I don't. Liek I said, It's always late. As in perpetually. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:09 10 May 2009

oh yea :) I got it now. Sorry for thinking that ye hath cut off thy balls and hacken off thy own phallus, and made yourself a vagina instead. My bad, bro, my bad. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:16, 10 May '09

Yes it damn well is your bad. Go home now. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:18 10 May 2009

You guys are odd. What shrooms did you find? I want some of 'em, too! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:21, 10 May

No shrooms, just various chemical imbalances. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:22 10 May 2009

na, I found a red-white spotty shroom. My boy scout guide sez its poisonous, but screw it, I dont care Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:24, 10 May '09

it's a clever double bluff, once you've died out he's gonna have sex with you. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 21:26 10 May 2009

Omg T_T /me runs home to mommy, crying Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:28, 10 May '09

Wuss! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 21:34, 10 May

Sorry to interrupt the bleeding vaginas up there, just wanted to tell you that I'm in IRC. I might get to bed though, so if I leave it open and don't respond, I'll hit you here when I'm around next.

And the cabal doesn't exist, we've established this time and time again. However, the mighty Think! Army does exist, and I'm standing in front of my nation's flag like general Patton, forging a bold new path towards comedic and moral indignation. Welcome to my tomorrow. --THINKER 04:26, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

A new THINKER article? About. Fucking. Time! --UU - natter 20:19, May 11

!!!

Why I oughta..... -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 20:10, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Quoting the old master of insanity is considered a crime now?! Sheesh. ~ 20:12, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Nah, I'm just kidding. I had a good laugh over this. But old master of insanity? I never knew I was considered one. -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 20:16, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Well, you're obviously not the new master of insanity are you? ~ 20:18, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

I........u've got me bugged. Hi, my name's Roman Dog Bird! I'm a new user and I'm ehre to tell you aboiut my gay friend named Michael, y'see *tells a boring story* -- Hi, hey! I'M A MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER 20:23, 11 May 2009 (UTC)

Woody's gone off his rocker.

So I got pissed earlier, and wrote this thing. I have a feeling going on a rant like this is the Uncyc equivalent of drunk dialing your ex (just without the exorbitant amounts of alcohol), and I'm not sure I'll remember (or admit to) anything tomorrow morning, but I dunno. I got fed up. I figure if someone should tell me how wrong I am/nobody cares, it should be you, as you have the most power on here, and should be the least-offended since I don't think any of this pertains to you. Also I'm wondering if I should just spam this on everyone's talk page, thus breaking one of the rules I actually mentioned being ok, and losing any credibility I may have now, with the added bonus of loosening myself up. I worry I've gotten too serious. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 08:19, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

I actually read it as soon as you posted it and I think it's very well written. There's nothing there that I think that will hurt someone's feelings (it's written in a friendly sort) and I agree with a lot of what it says. The only thing is - how can you properly send it? I think posting it on talk pages would be a bad idea, and posting it on the dump will cause, as always, a drama storm or an irrelevant discussion. So I think the best thing to do is to reference it anytime there's a relevant discussion or place a visual reference in your userpage. What do you think? ~ 08:56, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Or at least link to it in the USP, possibly have a small paragraph about it? Talk to gerry or UU about it. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 09:02 12 May 2009

Already on it... Just call me the newshound. --UU - natter 09:04, May 12

Ugh, Journalists... ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 09:05 12 May 2009

Well, I wasn't serious about spamming it on talk pages. Although I still think it would be hilariously ironic on my part. Also, I bypassed the dump for mainly those reasons. Downvoters would attack like wolves. WOLVES I say. Still i doubt people read links posted in conversations. Not sure if there is a good way to do it. I have two minds about this. On one hand I wrote this for me more than anything else, so if no one sees it, whatever. Then again, what was the point of writing it if no one sees it... I don't like getting pissed and going off my rocker. I would enjoy not doing it anymore. That article could help (though I doubt it.). Man, I don't know. I'm really tired. I would say.... I should think about how best to get people to read this a bit more. Maybe after sleeping a bit.

Well, I wrote that, then got edit conflicted by UU (for the second time in like 5 minutes). That would probably work the best for now. Or just go off my rocker, and start redirecting every Feature from the last 6 months to the article... hmmm... the choices...Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 09:09, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Could a template be made linking to it and the template be put on main page? Like when conservation week template was put on main page. --Docile hippopotamus 09:26, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Not really, as this is a private essay and not something that the entire community endorses. ~ 09:27, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

HEY! I never, EVER endorsed PLS! In fact, I now, officially, endorse PLS's evil twin brother, PMS. I disallow the PLS Template being put up on the Main Page. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 09:31, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

By the community I meant The cabal really O_O ~ 09:33, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh. Well in that case, we're cool. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 09:34, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Couldn't it be a template saying stuff like "rules Vs funny - The Wodburninators essay"? --Docile hippopotamus 09:36, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

No, because then we have to put up every essay that everyone makes. There are quite a few of them around. ~ 09:40, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

OK. You said "By the community I meant The cabal really O_O" There is no cabal. --Docile hippopotamus 09:43, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

That is correct and I encourage you not to claim otherwise. ~ 09:46, 12 May 2009 (UTC)

Aren't good Jews supposed to be in bed already? O_o

Or was that good Luvvies. I always confuse the two... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 23:02, 12 May

It depends with us Jews, being as sexy as we all are - basically, if we're not in bed by 11pm, we just go home. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:33, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

For the record...

I don't beat about the bush like that, I was just taking the piss out of the forums... don't ascribe some 'meanings' to comments I make - I can express myself fine. Peace:)--Sycamore (Talk) 13:51, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

For the record, you need to stop being paranoid about everything everyone says or not. The "it is you" just fitted there in my mind, so I just placed it there. ~ 13:54, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

I wasn't distracted!

Bans overwrite bans now, rather than warning that the guy is already banned. Also, I was distracted. By boobies. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 13:57, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Did you just say boobs? ~ 13:59, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Huh? I'm sorry. I faded out for a second there. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 18:33, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

...boobs? ~ 18:59, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

/me slaps each of you and tries to remember what the original subject was Here, have some icecream. :) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 19:12, 13 May

Strictly hetero man hug

Cuz I thought you might need one. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:04, 13 May

/me shuffles feet and blush :) ~ 20:11, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Strictly homo hug

Because that header has much better alliterative qualities. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:15 13 May 2009

/me looks dashing in my leather pants ~ 20:22, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh yeah, flaunt it, babycakes! ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:30 13 May 2009

Strut your stuff big boy, but I'm telling you now you had better keep your hands off my porn! -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:32, 13 May

I actually have far more reason to have that porn than you do. My page was a proper parody of your page, that's the only reason it exists. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 20:35 13 May 2009

Funny you should say that. The only reason I made that page was so you could parody it. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:38, 13 May

/me tries to dig her own eyes with a spork to get rid of the visual image of Mordillo wearing leather pants burned to her optic nerve. Bad, bad Dildo! -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 20:46, 13 May

On Porn and SSGP's

First off, I'd like to say I was a bit hostile regarding Cheddar's Pile of Shit. It did seem kind of arbitrary that you chose that page to say something on. But, after thinking about it, if you're going to fight porn, you need to start somewhere, and its going to make someone unhappy.

Despite having a super secret girlie page, I am generally opposed to porn on the wiki. If you'll look closely at my SSGP page, you'll notice that none of the images show naughty bits or are any worse than what one can find in at a check out counter at Walmart in the midwest. The only pic on there that is maybe porn would be File:Asia Carrera.jpg, because it came from a porn image set, as opposed to a magazine photoshoot. Unless you're going to call women holding their own boobs "porn", which is a rather broad definition. Oh course, I could live with that broad of definition, like I said on Cheddar's page, one can always find similar less naked that do the same job.

Also, if you haven't noticed, Orian's page is a parody of sorts of Optimuschris's page, my page is a parody of sorts of both of those, and Hyperbole's is a parody of mine. Of course, that is alot of porn for how much humor it generates, but there still is some humor in the series; both my and Hyperbole's ssgp's passed Hyperbole's VFG.

Anyway, I hope the cabal can work out a consistent policy on this issue. Having the issue in limbo is probably the worst state of affairs possible. --Mnb'z 05:25, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Trolls

My breath would not be put to any better use otherwise =P I actually rather enjoy trying to talk some sense into the idiots. I guess I'm a little sick in that I get a smile out of how dumb people are, but I am me.

Don't worry, I won't go picking any fights. I usually just point out how stupid their responses are and ignore them then on. Except for one time when a guy actually came back with an intelligent answer. It was funny to show the other idiots what it's like to listen.

I guess I'm just tired of how stupid our world is. Ah well. I won't try to talk some sense into them here on Uncyclopedia, if you wish. Just do your best to keep them out. ~Deadly-Bagel

No worries. This specific sod is a returning vandal and he's also banned indefinitely, so I wouldn't waste my time with him. While I'm usually very much for talking, some people are just not worth the hassle. ~ 09:18, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Huh. He did it again. I should put you in touch with someone who claims to know how to report someone to their service provider. Though I'm sure you'll forgive me for being hesitant to post someone's email/yim/msn address on such a dangerous playground. If you can get into my profile and find my email you're welcome to and send me an address I can give you his details with.

Nah, it's not worth it really. We have way too many idiots. He'll be gone eventually. They all do. ~ 14:12, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Tweet

Mr McElroy says thanks! his blog is teh funnies! 11:44pm May 14th from web tanks for teh voats! 11:45pm May 14th from web

~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 09:31 14 May 2009

Hey you filthy nigger jew

Why don't you find some cock to suck on already and leave this fucking site stopp fuckking with my shit, bitch. yeah, i've killed niggers before, and I'll doo it again. Filthy jew coon. --Roman "I'll accuse of you of being black since you reverted my funny and racist stuff since you can't possibly be of any other race since everybody hates black people" Bird 21:38, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

Suck my circumcized cock you fucking cocksucker. Your mother was a Jew and your father smelled of Gauda cheese. I fart in your general direction, and I hope you send my regards to your mother. She's nice. ~ 21:50, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

wow! Is this for real? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:03, 14 May '09

I'll suck it if he doesnt want to. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 22:08 14 May 2009

You fucking nigger bitch! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:09, 14 May 2009 (UTC)

KKK here. Somebody said nigger? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:12, 14 May '09

Huh. Reap what you sow. He killed, and now he's brain dead. Go figure.

Strictly hetero manhug for a filthy nigger jew

Faggot. I think I might love you. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:37, 14 May

UnSignpost May 14th

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

May 14th, 2009 • Issue 47 • And you will know our name is the UnSignpost when we lay our news upon you!

Wales Speaks Exclusively to UnSignpost! by UU It's the big one folks, the interview they all wanted, but we got: shy, retiring Wikimedia mogul Jimbo Wales has spoken exclusively to your UnSignpost. Wales (pictured right in happier times) took time out from his busy schedule of inserting further Liberal bias into Wikipedia to share with us his thoughts on the credit crunch, the Obama administration, the Pope's visit to the Middle East, and the future of Uncyclopedia, and the insight is literally devastating in its incisiveness. When pressed on these vital issues, Jimbo confided to us: "You kids get offa my pipe! Now, where's my lawn?" These are words that every user will interpret in their own special way - Jimbo, like all great orators, has the ability to make profound pronouncements that each and every listener will put their own unique spin on, so that it seems he is talking to them alone. Whatever pearl of wisdom you find in this oracular utterance, we are sure it is exactly what you were intended to find. Crowning Acheevement by UU UnSignpost co-editor, Imperial Colonization lynchpin and all-round star user Gerrycheevers has made Uncyclopedian history by becoming the first user ever to win all of the major monthly awards on the wiki: WotM, UotM, NotM, FPotM, and PotM. Plus RotM, although that's not really considered "major". This astonishing fact was pointed out by RAHB, proving quite conclusively that he must have no life whatsoever. When asked for comment, Gerry exclusively told us: "Well, I don't know what to say, really. I suppose my well-roundedness speaks volumes about my excessive amount of free time. My next objective will be to obtain a microphone and continue my quixotic quest to collect all of the awards". Rules < Funny: The Essay by UU Loveable Uncyc pyromaniac The Woodburninator, long known for his views on how "rules" and "funny" should relate to each other, has, in an alcohol-induced "moment of clarity", composed an essay on the subject. He encourages you to read it, and exclusively told us he questions the sexuality of everyone who doesn't. As a completely neutral wiki newspaper, the UnSignpost of course neither endorses nor doesn't endorse any of the views contained within the essay. It just agrees with some of them. Is it a Usergroup if there are no Users Grouped in it? by Joe9320 It has been about a year and a half since Uncyclopedia's once shining usergroup network stopped operating and became extinct. As ever in such circumstances, conspiracy theories have quickly sprung up to explain how this could have happened. Some say that when Chronarion left Uncyclopedia to focus on another project, he left it to the Wikia staff to do all the patrolling, which caused Uncyclopedia's domain name to be changed in October 2008, and the user groups were left to rot with no activity, like the Hittites did when they destroyed their own city and left. Others say that UNSOC killed off every other usergroup, from the Grue Army to UNATO, and had a monopoly on the usergroups. Whether the theories are true or not, the usergroups appear to have all but died. In January 2009, archaeologists from the Philippines dug through the ruins of the usergroups and found compelling evidence that there is still a small amount of activity in the UNSOC group, whose interim leader Necropaxx was heard to observe "UNSOC has about 3 or so active users right now; we just keep that gigantic list to inflate our numbers". The non-existent Cabal have not made any comment about this being a dastardly plan of theirs to ensure the "golden Age" of Uncyclopedia 2005-2007 remains sacrosanct. Because they don't exist, obviously.

Check out these pages! Rewriters, assemble! Confessions of a parody parodist Who needs publicity? From our logs: 18:42, 27 April 2009 Dr. Skullthumper (Talk | contribs) blocked I AM GOD (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(Zeus called. He wants his title back. Something about missing having an excuse for incest.) 21:58, 13 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 75.47.141.62 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎(seek the definition of life in the dictionary. Hint: it does not include so called venegance against humor wikis. Also, seek the definition of vengance. Creating wiki pages does not constitue as such.) 12:49, 14 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 82.41.56.104 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank pages, it's proof you have even less of a life than we do.) Biopic of the Week Colin "All your base" Heaney may possibly have the most annoying username to have to copy and paste into a Signpost biopic in all of Uncyclopedia. A mainstay in such helpful roles as VFD, Colin's accomplishments include contributions to the famed Al Gore colonization, having explosions in his sig that look rather cool when he signs a bunch of times in a row, and setting the record for most electrons used in a userpage and corresponding talk page. Go Colin! Cajek Sighting of the Week Co-founder of the UnSignpost Cajek was sighted this week in an alley behind his userpage, taking out the trash. He also updated his ban counter to a robust 117 and added electricity and magic to the iron fences surrounding the Cajek Mansion. Look for an exclusive fake interview with Cajek in next week's UnSignpost! Desperate Attention Seeker of the Week 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (The) 00:55, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (UnSignpost) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Had) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Better) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Run) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (This) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Series) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (of) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Bans) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Next) 00:56, 8 May 2009 RAHB (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 1 second ‎ (Week) (There were more. We got bored copy/pasting them. Find the rest yourself)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Hand-delivered by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 19:00, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Can I have some eye surgery? Saberwolf116 01:22, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Good one, especially considering the fact I had a Lasik surgery about 10 years ago O_O ~ 09:14, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

does this lasik thing really work? I mean, after you had it, you threw your eye glassess? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:49, May, 18 '09

Yep. It's coming back a bit after all these years but I'm still largely glasses free. ~ 11:11, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Good. I dont like my glasses, they make me look like the devil. Maybe I should have my Lasik in Israel so that I can stay with you for some time, drink some tea together and eat some hummus and falafel.. Oh, and bacon, we should have some bacon :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:34, May, 18 '09

Considering the fact I've been living in Amsterdam for a year now, that might be an issue. Also, I think eating a bacon might pose you an issue more than it would pose me :) ~ 11:38, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Hmm... I might also have it in Amesterdam so that I can stay with you... And we can smoke some legal hashish together too :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:48, May, 18 '09

Stop rubbing it in. Saberwolf116 11:56, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

:) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 12:07, May, 18 '09

Why?

Isn't why? On the front page? Under the "sista projects" I mean? It's just as established/popular as HowTo, so why isn't it there? I'm just curious, but I think it should be. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 17:44 18 May 2009

That's a good question. Also, why we're asking good questions - "why isn't there peace in the middle east?" /me waits for Mahmoosha to say something smart assy about the Zionists. (Also, I'll try to fix something about the whole Why thing). ~ 06:43, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

no, sir, I dont believe in those nutty conspiracy theories... Well, I used to do till a couple of years ago, then I got my head out of my ass and realized that I was being brainwashed. Therefore, I am not religious anymore, and I dont hate Israelis or Americans or any of that bullshit they filled my head with when I was young. So, no, I dont have anything to say about zionism. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 11:59, May, 19 '09

On a serious note, one day I'd like to go with my car via Syria to Europe and stop overnight for some good humus. I think that region suffered enough wars. Can't we all meet up in the Sinai and have one big party? ~ 12:13, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Seriously, I believe that an alliance between Arabs and Israelis is the only way out, and it will come sooner or later. I mean, we are neighbours, we cant go warring forever.. It happened in Europe, so why not in the mid east? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 12:18, May, 19 '09

Well, the bloody Europeans took about 600 years and destroyed half of the planet on the way, I seriously hope we can do better than that. We are, after all, the cradle of civilization! ~ 12:35, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

You lie! We only destroyed one eighth of the planet - we enslaved the other three eighths you refer to. --UU - natter 12:38, May 19

yea.. We were a part of that 3 eighth. Happy times :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 12:56, May, 19 '09

I think we were part of both! O_O ~ 13:19, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

I'm confused, what wars are we talking about? Where are we talking about? I though Mamoosh was egyptian...? What the fucks going on? why is it so bright? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 14:19 19 May 2009

yes Im Egyptian. Aiwa ana masri.. So? Whats confusing? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 16:39, May, 19 '09

Yay! I made an intelligent contribution! So are you gonna fix it or...? You know, while you're there, what exactly is the purpose of Uncycloversity? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 09:51 19 May 2009

I'll admit

I probably jumped the gun on the whole "new poopsmiths" thing. However, VFD is nearing it's maximum point, something that hasn't happened in a while. There are a lot of left over stalemate noms that need to be kept, plus some red links that need to be archived. We might not need another poopsmith, but the recent dissapearance of MrN and Dex have caused reprocussions. What should we do about it? Saberwolf116 00:42, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Not at all, you didn't anything wrong. The thing is, this is mostly due to long voting, not due to lack of archiving. I'll put an eye over VFD to make sure it doesn't get clogged up. I'm trying to keep the number of "official" users to the minimum to keep the bureaucracy at bay as much as possible. ~ 06:40, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Ahh, I see. Well, if you need another poopsmith, i'd be willing to help out;VFD and Pee Review are really the only places I go. But yes, we should try to keep the admins and poop jockeys to a minimum, I agree. Saberwolf116 12:11, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Did you ever think about...*GASP*...writing? ~ 12:34, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

I keep thinking there's something I should be writing, but I can never remember what it is... --UU - natter 13:06, May 19

Maybe if I knew how to write more than a VFD stub, I would write. I prefer maintanence and reviewing. Saberwolf116 13:08, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

I think that if you know how to review properly=you know what makes you laugh=you can try to create something that makes you laugh. Trust me, it's the best fun you can have here, and I'm pretty sad I didn't write anything new for a while. And UU, you sod, you need to help me with that collap we started back in 1993. ~ 13:22, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Or you could do what I did, Saberwolf, start off by finding an article in Category:Rewrite that you think has potential, and work on it - there's already an idea in place, and as you've done a bunch of reviews, you should have an idea of what to do to an article to fix it. Articles in that category need the work, so you're not really treading on any toes, and you can have fun with it. That was how I got the hang of this place. It was a while before I started my first stand-alone original article. And Mordillo, I will work on that collab, honest. Some time in the next 3 years, for definite. Probably. --UU - natter 13:30, May 19

I like men with definite answers. Not all men though, Orian, don't drop your pants yet. ~ 13:33, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for butting in again...

I was about to create the short version already on Sunday but I wasn't sure if it had looked like spamming with one and the same subject. And I'm serious, not trying to get any. -- Style  Guide 05:36, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

No problem. I think it'll do us good if it's executed in a manner similar to Wikipedia (by formatting at least). --~ 06:41, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Feeling better?

Are you still feeling fluey, or looking to ban people to feel better again? /me hides just in case the answer to the above is "yes"... -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 06:57, 19 May

ACHOOO! Yes, I'm at home today, trying not to infect too many people. What? Swine Flu? That's not kosher! ~ 07:04, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Bless you. /me hands you a box of kleenex and a mug of hot tea with honey. You were bound to get it at some point anyways (the flu, not the swines). How about if we claim it's an aggressive strain of the B virus that causes fevers and sinus infections in stead, and blame Shovav for it? -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 07:23, 19 May

What next...?

• is it OK if I and Orian57 ask around for people to run the portals (I don't know many, I think he does), and submit them to scrutiny and final judgment to you/someone else - or do you already have some in mind?
• I suppose it doesn't matter who makes the actual portals so I'll try my hand on a template

-- Style  Guide 16:54, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

As the initiator of the whole thing, why don't you create the first portal? ~ 16:56, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, will do. And I do need help as well. I also like the Wikipedia portal (your link) better - any place you know I could swipe one? I tried straight from Wikipedia but with all their templates and suchlike, it seemed I missed too much knowledge to make anything out of it here. -- Style  Guide 17:07, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

I think I'll give it a try with the front page source - it looks like the closest thing I've managed to find. If I paste it into my user space, there won't be any fuckups? -- Style  Guide 17:28, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Should be OK as long as you remove the various categories for now. If I'll see any fuckups I'll jump in. --~ 18:44, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

All right - I'll do it tomorrow though, maybe around 15-16 UTC I guess. I'll let you know before I start. I'll try to remove everything that might cause hasslerstrom before saving. -- Style  Guide 18:59, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Vandalove

(Block log); 17:44 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 217.160.16.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Hey Todd, you got recognition!)

Love those IPs. I must be doing a good job then.  :) Think I'll take the rest of the night off (or maybe just a couple of hours).

Cheers! --T. (talk) 22:50, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

You can't be a proper admin until someone called you a NIGGER BITCH MOTHERFUCKER! ~ 07:04, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

I'm sooo happy my odds of making admin are slim, with that criteria, practically nonexistent... I'm too cuddly for it... ;) -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 08:55, 20 May

My only regret is that it took so long. --T. (talk) 16:41, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Vandalove

(Block log); 17:44 . . Mordillo (Talk | contribs | block) blocked 217.160.16.169 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day (Hey Todd, you got recognition!)

Love those IPs. I must be doing a good job then.  :) Think I'll take the rest of the night off (or maybe just a couple of hours).

Cheers! --T. (talk) 22:50, 19 May 2009 (UTC)

Todd Lyons, so nice, he posted twice. ~ 07:04, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Oooop. :/ --T. (talk) 16:40, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

I SWEAR I was coming to talk to you

But then you banned me for three minutes, and I was all like "oh, ha ha, yeah, ha" but then my sister called and, wouldn't you know it, she's got cancer so I was all "oh cancer, oh no" and I had to fly down to Canada or something and cure her and by the time I got back I was like "Oh Mordillo he adopted the guy who adopted me I should talk to him" but then the microwave went off and my toaster strudle poptarts were done and I was like "oh tasty Mordillo won't mind" then I was banned by Todd LOINS when I got back and I was like "oh, oh yeah, that's funny that admins can do whatever they want and never get banned" and I wrote a petition, but my sister called again and she had lupus this time, so I had to fly down to wherever it was I said and I was like "oh lupus" and I flew back just in time to leave this message Hai MORDILLO YOU'RE AWESOME!   Le Cejak • <16:37 May 20, 2009>

I KNEW IT WAS LUPUS! also, ohai Cajek! ~ 17:04, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Got it

When I copy the portal from Wikipedia, I'll need to copy the templates as well to get the exact same layout. I won't need to go messing with the main page template. Gonna set up science portal probably tomorrow. -- Style  Guide 19:11, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

I've looked at the templates from Wikipedia and they seem quite complex, not sure they'll work properly here, but it give it a shot. ~ 19:31, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

True - will take ages to modify. Any ideas? An article that uses a similar layout to main page, or close, would be a good starting point. In fact anything with two columns and I'd have something to start with. I really don't know shit about the code. -- Style  Guide 19:44, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Use my userpage layout...which I stole from Dawg originally. ~ 20:04, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks, going with Dawg's, short, quicker to work. -- Style  Guide 09:05, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Sure, that lazy sod didn't write for ages, he was just busy banning people. Coming to think about it, so am I. Damn. ~ 09:10, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Relieve your conscience by adding some shit to Template:Sciencequote. -- Style  Guide 09:17, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Question

How does this whole "talk page whoring" thing work? It seems to be some huge joke that goes over my head. And if I want my talk page archived, how do I go about getting someone to do it? Saberwolf116 23:34, 20 May 2009 (UTC)

well, talk page whoring (like what cheddarbbq did a couple of weeks ago) is spamming as many talk pages as one can with a petition for a  For. vote for one's article on VFH etc. Some people find this annoying and some are cool with it.... About the archiving thing, you can do it yourself; cut-paste the discussions on your talk page to User:Saberwolf116/Archive 1 and put a link to the archive on your now-empty talk page.. And wait for someone to rape you :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 07:16, May, 21 '09

What that Egyptian bloke said. ~ 08:57, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

offence? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:24, May, 21 '09

Ha? ~ 09:29, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Looks like he just agreed with you Mahm00shA. Erm, in the last comment but one. -- Style  Guide 09:30, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

oh, never mind... I was kidding Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:33 May 21 '09

Ha? *hick* --~ 09:35, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh. Well, hm, PANTS! -- Style  Guide 09:38, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

and for that matter, PHALLUSPHALLUSPHALLUS!!Shift+1!!!Two1 Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:40 May 21 '09

Thanks for the help, guys. And why are you here, Mam00sha? I thought you said you were gonna be inactive... Saberwolf116 12:27, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

I cant fucking tear myself away from uncyclopedia.. Btw, my first final, physiology, was two days ago and looks like Im gonna fail and redo it in summer.. Who cares anyway? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 12:43 May 21 '09

Forget about the pants bit, I also have a question

How can I make the "featured science article" bit work so that some of it is visible on the left hand column, like on front page? I started looking but the front page is too advanced for me. I don't think a succession of featured articles is needed in the portals, so I just need the easy version. Other stuff about the portal seems to be decipherable by myself. -- Style  Guide 09:47, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh yes - and of course since this is a satire/parody site, I would like to add nonexistent (otherwise but here) subcategories as subportals in the science portal (in addition to the normal scientific stuff). It seems to me to be a point. "Mad science" is one anyway, but I figure it would be funnier if it were divided into nonsensical categories itself, like megalochemistry, VIP DNA research, a sploding Universe, etc. That could encompass some hard-to-place articles. Unless there already are enough or too many categories and subcategories. -- Style  Guide 09:53, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

How's the feature bit looks? For the categories you can use {{fakelink}}. ~ 10:12, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Looks good, thanks - now I think I only need to make the headline banner for the portal, introduction to what science is, the banners for the categories, link them, clean the rest... anything else come to mind? -- Style  Guide 10:37, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Fakelink? No, I meant I'd actually make some extra subcategories to for instance Mad Science, and add those to the science links. I never understood why Mad Science is a category by itself - this is Uncyclopedia. I would improve the condition by linking straight to the Mad Science subcategories from the Science portal main page. -- Style  Guide 10:41, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

How about we ask for a logo and some gifs in radx corner? ~ 11:03, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

I'll make some of them myself at least - I have some 3D software (Maya), I can make anything I know how to make. I'll try with the Science Portal logo first - do you think it's better if it parodies that of Wikipedia? Oh I had a look - it's pretty boring. Anyway, I can make a flashier version of that. Potatoes connected as in that one? -- Style  Guide 13:14, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Have a look at the introduction to science when you have time. I'm fairly proud of the flip I managed with it with such few changes to the original. -- Style  Guide 13:41, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost

Do we have anything from the desk of the cabal to put in the upcoming issue? There is no cabal of course, just asking out of curiosity (and because we really need more articles to put in the issue). —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:37, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, didn't have the time, let me know if you need one for the next post. ~ 17:20, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost May 21st

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Periodical That Is Too Sexy For Its Shirt, Among Other Things

May 21st, 2009 • Issue 48 • I've seen news you... people wouldn't believe

Glorious Cajek return story By Socky Something known as a "Cajek" apparently made some sort of return recently. According to eyewitnesses, he updated his ban counter, wrote a few articles, got some of his old articles deleted, did some nominating and voting stuff at VFH, and made several comments on user talk pages. This, seemingly, is about what he used to do, although few of our readers are old enough to remember his previous contributions to Uncyclopedia. Cajek exclusively told us the following: "Gotta go bye see ya". People disappearing, people reappearing, people with little time on their hands, bots unavailable By Socky & UU What happened to users like MrN9000, Dexter111344, GlobalTourniquet and DrStrange? Were they run over by a train? Did they suffer from a heart attack? Are they running from the law? Or are we just getting too worked up after a couple of weeks' absence? Whatever be the case, we here at the UnSignpost hope they are all right and will be returning to us in the near future. More recently, it has come to our notice that Gerrycheevers, Sonje and RabbiTechno have been missing for at least a couple of days. Perhaps there is a serial killer stalking and brutally murdering bright Uncyc talents? (Are we getting good at this whole "wild press speculation and fear-mongering" thing yet or what?) In the mean time, fortunately, several other users have made glorious returns to Uncyclopedia. As documented elsewhere, a Cajek is apparently back and doing stuff. MNM5150 has been doing some things around places, mostly the forums. Readmesoon has been spotted at VFH and a few talkpages. Yettie has been sporadically active. And Todd Lyons has been doing more stuff recently than he was doing less recently. A lot of users seem to be unable to contribute as their work/school requires them to spend their time on "useful" things. The more young adult users/little kids seem to be struggling with certain "finals", like Mahm00shA for instance. SysRq appears to be working on his graduation. Statistics show that Hyperbole's activity has been rather low, but recently increased dramatically. For how long this trend will continue is uncertain. UU has been here intermittently, but keeps proclaiming himself to be "busy". He commented "I don't have time. In fact, I may not even have time for banning and deleting today, things are going fucking nuts! [...] I have teetering mounds of work, and nowhere near enough time! Arrrrrgh! (I almost feel a second exclamation mark coming on, but nothing's that bad...)" He then proved himself to be a big fat liar by editing this story and various other bits of the UnSignpost. Additionally, while Wikipedia is being overrun by bots, they seem to have gone completely extinct on Uncyclopedia. This has led to our beloved Socky becoming partly mechanized in order to fill the role of paperbot. However, he is currently planning to get his bot operational so he won't have to tire his arse off every week. Porn! Porn! Pr0n! By Socky There has been somewhat of a controversy as of lately about the existence of supposed pornographic images on Uncyclopedia. Some support the view "Only if it's funny.", while others say "Meh." The controversy led Orian57 to put all his gay porn on QVFD. Optimuschris was quoted saying "I don't know what the fuss is all about, there's no porn on Uncyclopedia!" The discussion seems to have concluded in something like "If it's really bothering you and isn't funny in any way, delete it!" Mnbvcxz might also want to add that pictures showing prominent nudity could give rise to some legal issues, though he wasn't actually available for comment, so we can't really be sure. Usergroups! Usergroups! Usergroups! By Socky War is raging in usergroup land. IC, suffering major losses, has been grinded to a halt and was forced into defensive strategy, regressing to trench warfare. But UNSOC, with masses of new recruits, has declared an all out war against any potential competition. Meanwhile, a new powerful group has arisen, Der Unwehr, and they have established themselves as a force to be reckoned with. The Goa Tse Clan has gone into hiding and remains a mystery to most Uncyclopedians. "The End" is being foretold once more By Socky Since this UnSignpost issue almost didn't make it to the press, it was inevitable that there would be foretellings of "The End" and it being "near". On Forum:Count to a million, Orian57 was found stating "we could all die [...] then how stupid would we look?" A lot of users made somewhat eccentric speculations on how several issues were related to this "impending doom". Multiliteralist, Cajek and Optimuschris posted the following "articles" in response to a request to write something for the UnSignpost. Porn and the impending doom By Multiliteralist As we all know, the impending doom to all good things is caused by porn. This vile practice of drawing pictures of naked women has spread so wide among our young men that it is almost impossible to get them to do anything else. User groups and the impending doom By Cajek No wai, the impending doom is caused by user groups! Impending doom and porn By Optimuschris Our porn! The usergroups are coming, and with them...impending doom! Treasure these last few mumble with your porn for the end is nigh! First person article about porn and impending doom By Multiliteralist I was in a usergroup, watching porn. Suddenly I understood watching porn in a usergroup would do nothing against the impending doom. I got rather stuck, and forgot the reason. Later, I forgot about the impending doom as well. That's what watching porn in a usergroup will do to you. Suddenly I understood: if you are the first person in a usergroup, nobody can make you watch porn. My advice if you are in a usergroup and someone tries to make you watch some porn, avert your eyes! if you see porn, remember that the doom is impending. The perfect solution to problems with porn, usergroups, and the impending doom Form your own usergroup and make others watch porn!

Check out these pages! A "clever" forum topic? Has the world gone completely insane? What in the name of Sophia is a "clan"? Voting to close voting on a votey type thing? From our logs MOTHERFUCKING NIGGER LOVER SPECIAL: 21:34, 14 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Nevada" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 21:34, 14 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Why is the fucking nigger vandal back? I figured he would have killed himself by now, the little waste of sperm......) 01:38, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Anybody else here a nigger faggot? Oh, wait, we all probably are. *goes back to eating his god damn fried chicken w/ Colt 45 on the side*) 05:49, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.212.236.6 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Fucking one trick pony. And stop accusing all of us of being black, you worthless little prick. You do realise how gay that makes you sound when you tell us to suck your dick, right?) 05:55, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNDER USER IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, you're a clever little cookie, aren't you? I can't WAIT for you to do this me. Too bad I might not be up at the time...oh well.) 06:08, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "ROMAN DOG BIRD IS A NIGGER FAGGOT WHO SUCKS MY COCK 24/7" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, fuck it, I want to see what this little mongoloid can come up with instead, if anything. But seriously folks, in all seriousness, I'm as black as they get. A friend of mine told me this once.) 18:09, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Joseph Stalin" [edit=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) [move=autoconfirmed] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, Bill Cosby pounded me up my gay nigger ass last night. It was HOTT.) 20:27, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 89.46.52.10 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Please end your life right now. Go take one od your father's guns, load it, put it in your mouth, and pull the trigger.) 20:30, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (Oh God, first the nigger vandal returns, and then you're ugly ass shows up again to "torment" us with your worthless crap. You need to kill yourself as well.) 20:31, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" ‎ (No, really. Tie a noose, put it around your head, hang yourself. Simple.) 20:32, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Yeah, yeah, we know already, you little crybaby. What did we ever do to you? Oh, wait, all you can do is cry and moan and make pages with periods and then blank them. Speech is beyond you, I guess.) 20:33, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!" [create=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (And I've never been more serious about this whole suicide thing. I've been reluctant to tell you people to do so in the past, but I really don't care anymore. It's not like you're really going to do it. I'm sure you're having a blast doing this every day.) 20:37, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNNEWS SUCKS!" ‎ (I'm sure you're not as much of a lower life form as I think you are. You just love doing this, knowing how much it irritates us. Me especially, as I'm the only one willing to type out messages this long in response.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (I wonder what else you'll come up with. Are you just going to keep adding exclamation points? You must be one of the angriest people on the planet or something. You're worse than Idi Amin and God combined.) 20:40, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!" ‎ (And I'm sure shit like this has been done before. Originality certainly is dead. I mean, can you get any lamer?) 20:42, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (But really now, what if nobody deleted this shit? What if we let you and the nigger vandal just do what you always do? Would you assimilate the website so it's all the same shit? OH! What if you two got into a conflict?! That would be comedy bronze!) 20:43, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) huffed "Talk:UNCYCLOPEDIA SUCKS!!!!!!!!!" ‎ (God, just imagine you two going at it, two little twats who think they're the rebellious type going at it, with.....with......oh man....) 20:50, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 212.96.165.178 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yes it does. You're a real rebel aren't you? I bet you've murdered many blacks before and beaten up various others. I am TERRIFIED of you.) 20:51, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Kentuckistan" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (You're talking about how we're nigger faggots like it's a bad thing. Well, if you keep talking about putting your dick in my mouth, that clearly makes you gay. Don't try to tell me you like women. You haven't said anything to prove this.) 22:19, 16 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Ohio" [edit=sysop] (indefinite) [move=sysop] (indefinite) ‎ (Oh, so it's a domination thing, right? You can't possibly be gay since you're making me suck your cock, but I'm the one enjoying it since I'm a gay nigger, which is the type of person you hate. Right, okay, but do you like women? Y'know, with the vaginer?) 15:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked ZooZoo (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Your mother is a nigger. You are what you hate.) 17:43, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 85.94.198.122 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (TYLER LIONS!!! YOU KEEP GETTING BETTER AND BETTER!!!!! AND MORDILLO IS A JEW, MY NIGGER!!!!!!!) 17:50, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Maryland" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 17:50, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Tyler Lions? Never heard a more niggerish name then that! Let's lynch 'em!!!!!!) 20:27, 17 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Louisiana" [edit=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=autoconfirmed] (expires 20:27, 17 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Well, you're finally listening to me! But Hitler's been long dead! How the fuck is he going to take out Mordildo? Don't talk for my nigguh hitler, man.) 15:42, 18 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) protected "Work" [edit=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) [move=sysop] (expires 15:42, 18 May 2010 (UTC)) ‎ (Yo nigga, imma gonna break free from deese chains and fill yo cracka ass up wit mah dick, honkey bitch) Biopic of the Week MOTERFUCKING NIGGER BITCH LOVER is the token black admin. Known for his rampant homosexuality and love of sucking the cocks of racist vandals, he's forever spoiling the fun of innocent, hardworking vandals by deleting their masterpieces about their friends, and then adds insult to injury by banning them with excitable and lengthy comments. Bastard. He'll probably get lynched by the KKK before too long. Cajek Notice of the Week He was banned a couple times. No, seriously. See for yourself.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Brought to you by —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 22:33, 21 May 2009 (UTC)

Further questions...

• I only now noticed there's an actual article about science - but can I still, pretty please, keep the introduction? I linked the article to it anyway. Since these two co-operate to ambiguate the concept of science further, I cannot see it as a bad thing.
• which format is good for a dump for promotable scientific articles? Normal article, template, or something else?
• how/where on the page to link the rest of the science articles (links to subportals being a different thing) - or is the category link in the bottom of the page enough?
• I thought in this initial stage the subportals would only link to a list of articles in the category - otherwise the portal will never be running, with my speed of making it
• I would really love some wikicode jockey to make the portals in the same cool format Wikipedia has, but.
• what else did I have in "mind"?

-- Style  Guide 05:35, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

I don't if you are still about but can you help me...

Make the phoney username and the timestamp look 'real' on the Against vote bit on this please:)?--Sycamore (Talk) 18:36, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I wasn't in. What exactly do you miss exactly, formatting or wording? ~ 09:55, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

It's alright, I figuired it out, it was the time, I wanted it to look like a proper timestamp:)--Sycamore (Talk) 10:06, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Cool. ~ 10:10, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Stuckish

I'm trying to make the science portal header into something like front page has but haven't found a good way. If I copy Mnbvcxz's stuff, everything gets fucked up. Now it has too much space but works otherwise. Any ideas? -- Style  Guide 19:40, 22 May 2009 (UTC)

I'll try to get on it later on today. Got some IRL stuff. ~ 09:56, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. Another thing popped up, when you get there: the subcategories list. Is it easiest if I just copy them to the portal like I started, or is there a quicker way? -- Style  Guide 10:04, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

RAHB took care of the header, portal almost ready. Do you have people in mind to run portals? Orian said he'd run one. I'd like to run Art and Science myself when I get them done. -- Style  Guide 11:47, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Whoever volunteer I think should be OK. Looks good! ~ 14:02, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Yet another VFD rant

Well, not so much of a rant, but more of a suggestion:do you think we could put VFD in the "community" section of navigation, under VFP? VFD isn't getting much activity, and I think it's as notable as VFP and VFH. Saberwolf116 15:14, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Why is that you're obsessed with deleting rather than writing? ~ 15:19, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

I think it's cuz there are more articles worth deleting than ideas floating around worth writing. Maybe it's the natural order? Anyway, yeah, feature audios in the same box as the images on the main page! Sock's idea. HI MORDILLO!   Le Cejak • <15:22 May 23, 2009>

Well, Mordillo, I think it's because I can't write, and deleting articles helps more than writing worthless VFD stubs nobody likes. Also, what do you think? VFD on navigation? Saberwolf116 15:55, 23 May 2009 (UTC)

Cajek - let me check the feasiblity of it, we need to create a whole new system of featuring stuff, like VFP/VFH and I'll need help from Spang or some other technical wiz. Saberwolf - again, I think you never really tried? But that's your business, even though I think it's a shame. As for VFD, I'll give it a pass since I personally don't think that publicizing the deletion of articles is as important as hunting for good ones. I also don't see any problems with the way VFD is currently. ~ 14:04, 24 May 2009 (UTC)

Canoepolio

Hi, it appears someone has hacked into my original username (Canoepolio) and changed the password on me. Is there any chance you could fix that for me please? Im sure the IP addresses will confirm who i am. Also as regards the canoepolio page itself. It would be a shame to see it go. It has become pretty famous in the kayaking world. Just google it and you will see that practically every UK canoe club and several from further afield have linked to it at some stage or other. Its become a very famous In-joke among kayakers. Id appreciate it if it wasnt deleted. Thanks

Regarding your account, I responded to that already on Codeine's talk page and recommended you talk with Sannse. Regarding the article - it doesn't matter if the subject is notable, it isn't written well, it's a mess, and that {{Fix}} tag on it is way past it's deadline. Are you willing to put some effort into it and bring it up to the standards we're normally looking for? ~ 11:33, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

That is the whole point, whoever hijacked my account changed the password on me so I can no longer access the Canoepolio user account.

Would be good if you could leave it protected though. It is getting a bit annoying having people wrecking it all the time just out of spite. Thanks User:Canoepolio2.

You are not following me, this article has been in a bad state for a while now, and I will not be leaving it in it's current state. Are you willing to put an effort to improve it or not? I also suggest you read BGBU to get some idea of how to properly format in a wiki. ~ 11:40, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

sry.

About that - my brother put it on and used my Uncyclopedia account while i wasnt there. He's trying to get me in trouble • DoNotWant - [talk] •

And he will as well if I see links like that again. Better change your password. ~ 11:31, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Interview with the taxi driver

Say, mordy, would you mind working with me on it? You know, to get it featured and stuff.. A collab to be percise. What do you say? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 12:09 May 25 '09

Let me think about how we can improve it a bit. Might need just a bit of rephrasing, nothing too drastic. ~ 12:51, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

I am talking about expanding it "at least two folds" per what guildy said... Cmon, you know can do it today, you are awesome, and it has been ages since you last did a collab with an Egyptian :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:12 May 25 '09

Ever since my dad fought in the Suez Channel! :) Today is probably not going to happen, too much work, but I'll try to do something during the week. ~ 13:29, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh yeah, wars, I lllove them, its like because we never win them.. Ah, anyway, what do you do? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 13:57 May 25 '09

Well you did win a couple against Sudan didn't you? As for myself, I'm obviously working for the Mossad. Can't you tell? ~ 14:35, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

no we didnt. Our last victory was against the mammoth invasion 6981 years ago... Anyway, what do you do part-time, other than the mossad? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:44 May 25 '09

Support Zionistic conspiracies? Tell you what, if you get Modus to tell you what he does, I'll tell you what I do. Personally I think he works for the Canadian secret service, but he denies that. ~ 14:48, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Yea, I support Zionistic conspiracies part time, too. Like the fact that jews did the shoah to have an excuse to take Allah's land, and the other proven fact that jews did wtc so that the US invades afganistan and iraq so that iran is surrounded by americans so that in the future they cant attack israel because... You know, that kind of stuff :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 14:58 May 25 '09

Exactly. You got your history perfect. ~ 15:16, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

yea.. Still, what do you do? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 15:27 May 25 '09

Antigua-Barbuda

Hey im finally getting into writing that NOTM thing with 10 days left, here is the beginning Antigua-Barbuda - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 12:39, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Good luck! As long as you move quickly with it, you don't have long to be nominated. ~ 12:50, 25 May 2009 (UTC)\

Would it count if I made a series of small articles? Because there is only so much junk you can throw into two god-forsaken small islands. The series would involve MORE god-forsaken islands! Well? WELL???!!! - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 12:53, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Just to add this series would include Trinidad-Tobago, Grenda, Dominica, The Three Saints, Papua New Guinea, Samoa, Marshal Islands, Guam, Palau, and Tonga. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 13:08, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Well, we judge it really by quality, not by quantity...~ 13:11, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

I understand that, but what currently is in Antigua-Barbuda is pretty much all that I can get into it without starting to get boring. But I will have a fresh start with each of the other ones. Would that be acceptable? Im just going to stick with the series and hope that it will be good enough for a nom.- - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 13:18, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

All right, how about some pictures and perhaps try to make it less listy? ~ 13:30, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Ok, but I cant see how to make the lists anything else. I mean there is hardly any other way to represent History than a list. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 13:39, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Eh im just going to abandon the idea and think of something else. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 16:37, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey I got nominated... I dont know why I just did... so check it out!

Is this how...

...Template:FeaturedSci works?

• remove the text and link (current featured) from the upper part
• replace it with the beginning of, and link to the next featured one
• move the link of the current one to the list of previous related list
• save and go away

-- Style  Guide 12:35, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Exactemundo. Can we move the whole portal to the main space already? ~ 12:45, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

It seems like it needs one more thing - selected biography for instance. Could you do that for me? Probably far quicker. Pick one of the Notable scientists articles on the right side - probably the last, it's one of the best written - and format it similar to the featured article, but on the right side, like Wikipedia has. I'll fix the order first, wait a few min. Or, I can do it but it's gonna take some time. Just let me know. -- Style  Guide 13:20, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Spot for Selected biography is in place, if you want to go ahead and finish the job for me I think it's otherwise ready. If not, I'll do it later today - now I'll have to start painting (not panting, well, depends on what I'm going to paint) if I mean to do any of it today. -- Style  Guide 13:29, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Portal moved

I'll continue polishing it a bit and then move on to art. Thanks for help, I think I can manage the next one(s) just by copying stuff from Science portal. -- Style  Guide 16:53, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Talk paeg moved also

I moved my own talk page to archive1. What now, to get a fresh one? -- Style  Guide 17:11, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Good work on the portal! ~ 17:12, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks! Now, if I further want to change the Science news section into a running piece, I suppose I do this:

• make a template Template:ScienceNews (oops, I forgot I had activated it)
• make an article called ScienceNews as well, or ScienceNews1 to avoid any fuckups
• modify the template the same way the templates you made were modified
• add the template to the portal page (I think it's cleaner this way than adding the newspieces on the portal page directly, like they are now)

When news get added, edit the template so that the older news drop out of sight on the portal page

Also, when I start with the Art portal bit later, I guess I'll just copy everything and rename, right? I suppose that the Scienceportalheader or whatever I named it will work as an Art_portal_header if I just copy anything it has and just change the subcategories so that they correspond to the Art subcats. I further suppose the transit period (while I'm working the template) will not cause any fuckups either, since there are no back-and-forth directs, just one direction. -- Style  Guide 17:39, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Sounds good and I don't expect any fuckups there at all. ~ 17:45, 25 May 2009 (UTC)

Pancakes With Syrup

This user happens to be my brother, and has confesed to me that his sole purpose on this site is to vandalize and raps others articles... i would be glad if you would kindly remove him. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 01:19, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I couldn't find the user. Can you give me a link? Also, I can only block him for something he actually did, not for something he intends to do. We can't read minds. Yet. ~ 08:42, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Ill get you it... I hope... but he registered last night if that is helpful. Also I got nominated... I dont know why, I just did... so check it out! - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 09:50, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I saw it, but until you have at least one article, you're not eligible. What happened to that article of yours? I didn't think it was that bad really. --~ 11:00, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I agree, it was a good start at the very least. -- Style  Guide 12:02, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Funny.. The header sounds like ban kikes of syria. kthxbye. I was never here Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 12:06 May 26 '09

Ill put it back up I guess so that I can have the requirements, but I dont like it so its going bye bye after. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 20:20, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Lag Ba`Omer

Been too busy having the 'flu instead, besides I can rarely say which day of the week it is with any accuracy, nevermind count the Omer. However, I've recovered in time for Shavuot, which is a good thing because of the blintzes...my vegan recipe is better than any traditional type! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 12:09, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I doubt you can do better than my grandmother on that one! But Blintez is heaven, no doubt! Feeling better now? ~ 12:27, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Getting there - feel a lot better than I did a few days ago. It knocked me for six due to being asthmatic as well, had lots of trouble breathing but could be worse I suppose. I'll recognise your grandmother's superiority when it comes to cooking, since each and every Jewish grandmother manages to somehow be the best cook in the world all at the same time. Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 15:47, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Oh, and gut yom tov by the way. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 10:40, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Your Star

Looks shinier. Is it or am I imagining things again? ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 18:55 26 May 2009

If it gets any brighter I could totally follow it all the way to your house, bringing you gifts of perfumes and money. Probably not enough money though, since you are more or less poor for your entire life. Also you can perform Magic. Oh and you die in the end. Also you might accidentally start a couple thousand new religions... and they may or may not take from the book of your religion... sorry about that. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 20:45, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

I think you need a new pair of glasses. You know? Like Sir Elton's? That look like flowers? And no, I'm not gay bashing you at all. No sir. Also, I got tickets to see Sir Elton. How lucky am I? ~ 07:48, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

is it spinning faster then? Also I'm not overly fussed about Elton, I do however still cry at The Lion King. ~Orian57~ ~Talk~ 12:06 27 May 2009

Its back

My article Antigua-Barbuda is back... but only until after the NOTM competition, because I dont like it that much. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 20:25, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Oops

Sorry. I didn't do it on purpose. You can still ban me if you want. -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:35, 26 May‎

Sanks

Good job, old man, wiz za interbiew. You seem to know a good deal about Egybt. Just one sing, not many egybtians have za 11 children family, most egybtians have 2 or 3. Saudis are za one who have large families, not egybtians. Also, you were being moar attacky zan funny. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:48 May 26 '09

Attacky? ~ 22:50, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

yea.. Whatever.. Lets shift this conversation to the article's talkpage.. Your talkpage is lagging like a 1969 VW Beatle.. Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 23:07 May 26 '09

Are we allowed

To move mainspace articles into usespace like User:Silly Angel just did? Because that'd be a sweet endrun around VFD... -OptyC Sucks! CUN22:56, 26 May

Am I allowed to do that? Ill move it back but I would feel good if no-one edited any articles that I am re-writing. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 23:48, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Well, it's debatable. You can do a rewrite while its on the main space really. For this article I'd say, not harm is done - since it's not that notable. If you tried to move an article with high traffic, I'd probably spank you. ~ 07:46, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Mmm... spanking... say goodbye to all high-traffic articles if that's the prize! -- Style  Guide 12:32, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Politics Portal

I think its complete... Politics Portal - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 23:35, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

From a design point of you, it looks great. However, you placed mainly American politics articles/images in there and I think you need more content from other parts of the world as well. Other than that, good job! I think you can move it to the main space. Let me know when you do that and I'll change the links on the main page. ~ 07:53, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Ok, ill add some others.

I think its ready now, Portal:Politics - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 10:56, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Good job on that! ~ 13:39, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

A couple of thingies about portalsies

• I apparently made a mistake: We started Portal:Art with RabbiTechno and now I notice it's not a front page category at all. Grr. I was too mesmerised by the Wikipedia model to notice earlier. Would it be possible to kick out either Quaint or Coherent to replace with Art? RabbiTechno is the man to run it so it's going to be in good hands.
• Guildensternenstein wants to give Literature its own portal which is understandable, since we're in the literature business all of us. But now it occurs to me that we already have UnBooks and UnScripts, and Literature is a subcategory to art. I wouldn't know what to do if not add a few links to the top navigation bar. If three more could be added later and Quaint and Coherent dropped, we would have space for five more useful portals. What do you think?

-- Style  Guide 16:43, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Hey, kick out coherent if anything! Also, could you give me some guidance on Quaint, Multi or Mordillo?   Le Cejak • <16:49 May 27, 2009>

It was my understanding that we are not doing Quaint or Coherent... and speaking of portals here is the history portal for approval. Portal:History. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 20:50, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

We can take coherent off. As for literature, we can have that as well and linke UnBooks and Unscripts under it, while their main page remain as a separate entity. Quaint I asked Cajek to help with (let me know if you still need ideas for that Cajek). The history looks good, but a couple of things: What's the picture on the top? It's not much to do with history? Also, can you move all subpages under the portal? So it should be - portal:history/subpage. Otherwise we'll have tons of bizarre page that users stumble upon and have no clue what they are for. ~ 20:59, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

Ugh I will attempt it. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 21:07, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

/me scratches head Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:16 May 27 '09

Ok, it is done. All the pages are subpages now. Portal:History - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 21:20, 27 May 2009 (UTC)

I've been a bit lazy but now I found out templates work as subpages as well. -- Style  Guide 05:50, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Thanks Silly Angel. For future reference, place all the redirects that were created in QVFD so we can clear them later on. I took care of it. ~ 07:33, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

So you goin to place the link on the mainpage? - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 09:54, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Done. ~ 10:07, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Now off to work with the People Portal! - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 10:18, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

"History is written by the victors" would underline your joke with the logo Silly Angel. -- Style  Guide 10:25, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Further nudgery

I'm nudging you again since I'm so used to doing it. Can you give me an opinion on the frequencey of changing featured articles on portals? I think a week (or so) could be OK, not to run out of material on some categories. More than a week looks too long to me. -- Style  Guide 07:47, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, a week seems to be fine. Not a lot of hassle but keep the interest up. ~ 08:03, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

I noticed you had added 666 bits. I almost shirked off. OK, I'll go by that approximately, thanks. -- Style  Guide 08:07, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Foitermore...

I'm up to adopting a noob, it's been on my mind for some time but forgot to mention. -- Style  Guide 08:16, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Good one, we always need new adopters. ~ 08:16, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Templates

Hey there Mordillo,

I don't suppose you even recognise me. But I've been here in the shadows... and more crap like that. I've just released a few templates. Have fun with them. -Kjhf!- (feeling chatty?) 10:25, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

OH LORD! IT'S KJHF! HE'S BACK FROM THE DEAD! RUN! ~ 11:05, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

No use in running. I lurk in the shadow. And when you sleep, BANG goes the weasel. Or maybe POP. Maybe I should use another analogy.. *mutter* -Kjhf!- (feeling chatty?) 16:02, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Current Talkpage | Archive 1 | Archive 2 | Archive 3 | Archive 4 | Archive 5 | Archive 6 | Archive 7 | Archive 8 | Archive 9 | Archive 10 | Archive 11 | Archive 12 | Archive 13 | Archive 14 | Archive 15 | For Example.

Thank you for making over 27,419 edits!

-Kjhf!- (feeling chatty?) Feel free to remove the templates ;) 17:02, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost! May 28th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Self-Proclaimed Greatest Periodical Of All Time!

May 28th, 2009 • Issue 49 • The kind of news your momma warned you about

Going Portal by UU Under conditions of great secrecy, a select group of talented volunteers has been slaving away at the wiki-coalface, dedicating themselves to the selfless task of bringing Uncyclopedia a dedicated selection of portal pages. And now their tireless efforts are starting to bear fruit, with the first few being linked on the Main Page by noted twirly star of David, Mordillo. He proudly flagged them up as "new!", until Bradaphraser, more accurately understanding the IQ of the average Uncyclopedian, flagged then as "newd!" instead. What, some of you may ask, are portal pages? Well, rather than have us explain it laboriously for you (because that sounds like, you know, effort), why not take a look at the following highly sexy portals: Politics; Games; Science; History and Art. And with more to come including the intriguing concept of a Quaint portal from Cajek, one thing's for sure: there has recently been an increase in the number of portals on Uncyclopedia. What? Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia! by Docile hippopotamus Actually, Nile and Nile related articles are not invading Uncyclopedia - we merely wanted to say that to see if you, the reader, were gullible enough to believe it. And you were. More like, "Nile and Nile related articles invade Uncyclopedia hoax!" Let's find out what Sir Edward Mahm00shA, professor of Egyptian history and archaeology at Oxford university exclusively had to say about this: "It is a lie. And Ra saw it was no good. And the band is with me. And they hath uttered not a word about invading Uncyclopedia. Verily! Ra hacketh off the phallus of he who lieth". See now? Undeniable proof from Sir Edward Mahm00shA that the band is chilling with him and have not even mentioned invading Uncyclopedia. We also asked the wealthy Egyptian and Babylonian antique collector Mr. Great Lung Sphincter of Nebuchadnezzar the 1st to comment and he exclusively replied: "Nile doesn't have any power. Now the Tigris-Euphrates, that's a different story". Not only does this tell us that the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists are cooler than Nile conspiracists, but that Nile could not invade Uncyclopedia even if they wanted to, and you should be afraid of the Tigris-Euphrates conspiracy theorists - very afraid. To sum it up, there is no Nile and Nile related articles invasion of Uncyclopedia, just as there is no cabal.

Check out these pages! A true Uncyc legend returns! Promise to make a vote, the whole vote and nothing but the vote Big audio dynamite From our logs: 19:47, 25 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 88.208.208.132 (Talk) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (Yep, you're really trying, I see. Great, keep the laughs coming, Mr. Funny Man.) 09:37, 25 May 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 209.146.77.35 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (You meant "make love to me, she dog") 20:43, 24 May 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 41.154.2.5 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (Vandalizing articles, smearing dog shit all over Todd Lyons's car, etc.) 10:48, 23 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 210.211.138.192 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (don't blank, I'm running out of insulting ban reasons.) Biopic of the Week Todd Lyons has been on Uncyclopedia forever. No, seriously, he started editing in 2005 - and he's still here! He cut his article writing teeth on Dwight Schultz, and went on to write a further 98 of the buggers, while nailing his first feature with Fecal E.Coli, which started a run of 18.5 front page appearances up to the recent Kinsey Report No. 3: Sexual Behavior in Hamsters. He's been an admin longer than most of our readership have been users. Put together. And he still has all his own teeth, he tells us! Blatant Filler of the Week This box here, which is blatant padding so the formatting of this issue looks about right. Cajek ban of the Week 22:16, 26 May 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked Cajek (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of 2 hours ‎ (Unacceptable username: ...too few recent bans for my liking....)

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

The only newspaper to be delivered by MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 19:38, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Bot for the portals

Hey, I am petitioning for the permission to create a bot that would automatically update the new portal pages every week. I have the program downloaded and set up I just need the rights to do so. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 22:38, 28 May 2009 (UTC)

Why do you need a bot to do that? • Spang • ☃ • talk • 01:55, 29 May 2009

Exactly. Also, I don't think you have enough experience here yet to run a bot. Why not do it manually? ~ 07:24, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

I was thinking that the bot could go in and take the assigned article then copy the intro paragraph and take an image and place it on the template... but ok we will do it ourselves. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 10:02, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Autoblocked?

Hey, when I try to edit the People Portal or any page for that matter, I get this message: Autoblocked because your IP address has been recently used by "Dragonfir731". I cant think of why I would have the same address as Dragonfir731... if you have any insights on this problem please share. And sorry for posting almost half of the posts on your talkpage. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 01:42, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Next time it happens, write down the block ID and give it to me. ~ 07:25, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Its still going on, I have to use a proxy to edit pages. The ID is #40569. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 09:59, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Try it now. Are you editing from a public location/school? ~ 10:06, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

No although I have before. Ill try again when I get home. - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 13:28, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

I APOLOGIZE!!!!

Please go here. Not to vote, this isn't about whoring, but IronLung brought up an issue and my response applies to you as well. Don Puttano cHeDDs 01:54,29May,2009

I generally don't hold grudges, which is not the case with you as well. The issue I had with you was not the whoring (even though I don't like it personally, but that's my problem not yours) it's the whole crusade that went in that pileofshit of yours, that could have been solved in a much nicer way were you to talk to me directly rather than writing that announcement there. I think you'll find me typically approachable when you talk to me or when you bring me pie. I do think it would do you good not to start an argument about everything anyone tells you. Having said that, I'm not here to educate anyone on proper behavior and as long as you don't disturb other users or my ulcer, you can do more or less what you like. ~ 08:08, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

K. I'm glad. I wasn't sure if you held grudges or whatever you said. In Italy, everyone holds grudges, and that's how the Mafia was formed. I remember things. And it's not a pileofshit. It's a GIANT Pile of Sihit. Don Puttano cHeDDs 16:58,29May,2009

Interbiew

Can you get UU to review it? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 10:09 May 29 '09

we pride ourselvs in the service we give. ~ 10:14, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, give me time. I need a good, uninterrupted half hour minimum to do a good review, and I can't get that at work (any more). I'll get to it right after I review Socky's article. Honest. --UU - natter 10:29, May 29

New Portal

I think im done with Portal:People - - - Silly Angel Speak Contribs 11:15, 29 May 2009 (UTC)

Hello grandfather!

I need some personal advice on matters of utmost importance and... eh... seriousness, perhaps. Could you meet me at chat one of these days? I'll be there on most evenings around I think 18-19 server time. -- Style  Guide 07:21, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Also, mordy, arent you gonna vote for OUR article on vfh? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 08:49 June 2 '09

Yes yes, sorry, I was away for the weekend. Also, Multi - that's a bit early for me. I can be there later on today. ~ 08:58, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

OK, I'll try to be in. If you're late enough for me to sleep already, let's make it friday next - my "wife" tells me I can stay up late then. -- Style  Guide 15:07, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Lovely, tell her to talk with mine, maybe I get to stay up late sometimes as well. ~ 15:12, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Erm - we seem both to be in right now. I'll go to channel, meet me there in about 5 minutes if you have time. It's not a long story I have - probably. -- Style  Guide 15:26, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I'm at work and I can't access IRC from there. The bastards blocked it. ~ 15:32, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

The dirty fuckers. OK, see you later then. -- Style  Guide 15:39, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Air France flight 447

Why did you huff the page, is it too early? Unmouwries 09:54, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Not necessarily, but you didn't put any construction tag on it and it seems like a random piece of something. Are you intending to work on it further? ~ 09:59, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah i am planning on continueing it especially as the news around it develops to make very funny (although a bit offensive) sort of conspiracy theory which will be confirmed by Oscar Wilde very soonish. Could you restore the page as i did not keep a copy of it? I will make sure to add the under construction tag. I thought the "current event" tag would also do it. Unmouwries 10:03, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

OK. Make sure you make a good one rather than "Chuck Norris killed them all". Also, I'd try to make is less offensive as possible at this time. ~ 10:06, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

I have expanded the article a little bit. Me and a friend will continue to work on it, though we don't mind suggestions, preferably on the discussion page so we have a more precise understanding of what may be found too offensive or not funny enough. Feel free to let me know if you have suggestions Unmouwries 10:57, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Let me know if the article is good enough to loose its under construction, its a nice article at this time which will still be improved of course. Unmouwries 12:23, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

OK, I gave it a quick over, and it's not good. You're mixing way too many themes in it, which by themselves are not the funniest. Zinadine, Al-Qaida and Guinea Pigs don't really work under the same roof. The concept of a conspiracy theory is good, but you really need to work the details somehow. I'd choose one theme and go with it, but none of those you have there. Al Qaida - is too obvious. The rest - too nonsensical. ~ 15:06, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Check it out now, it's somehow much better, glad others have contributed, it's turning out even nicer, let me know your review. Unmouwries 19:15, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

That vandal

Don't you just hate him? I do. Him and his stupid california article. Staircase CUN^t 23:46, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Hating him would mean he actually worth a promil of my brain dealing with him. He isn't. ~ 23:47, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

Ha good point. Staircase CUN^t 23:58, 2 June 2009 (UTC)

The dirt under your rollers

It amuses me that you find that experssion intimidating. Cheers! Rev. Zim_ulator (Talk) I am the dirt under your rollers 01:11, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

I don't find that intimidating. I find YOU intimidating. But seriously Zim, why are you not making audios? ~ 07:40, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Wyoming

I'd like to create a Wyoming article. Could you remove the article creation block? You can see the article on my user page. Milo4242 02:04, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Sorry, I missed the original notice. I'll remove the protection but you'll need to expand the article you wrote a bit. ~ 07:41, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks. I'll try to add some more content. Milo4242 21:27, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Hey

Just wanted to apologize for putting pone of Crablogger's articles on VFD. I figured because Daffy Duck was a noteworthy article, it might not count as stalking, but I guess not. I'll lay off of his articles for a while. Saberwolf116 13:33, 3 June 2009 (UTC

Better if you lay off him for good. ~ 13:44, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Alright, fine. I don't like getting banned, so I wanna do what I can to prevent it. Saberwolf116 13:48, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Also, you don't hold grudges, do you? My conscience never shuts up if someone's mad at me. Saberwolf116 14:14, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

I don't. Don't worry about it. ~ 14:32, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

That's good. By the way, where are these "MORDILLO = FAGGOT JEW MOTHERFUCKER" editors coming from? It seems that everyday the admins have been blocking a guy for replacing a page with something stupid. Saberwolf116 14:48, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh, just a returning bored fuck. This month it's me, last month it was RDB THE NIGGER MOTHERFUCKER. ~ 14:59, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

He turned his attention to me for about a minute, but my policy of always banning him with a reason of "yawn" seems to have left him without enough of a reaction to satisfy his vast desire for attention, so he's ignoring me again. Ho hum. --UU - natter 15:01, Jun 3

Ahh, thank you, all my questions have been answered. Only one final request: could you put {{VoteGOTM}} On MrN's userpage? Saberwolf116 15:05, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Cuddle time!

Why? Just a stray idea that hit my head and left it before I came up with a reason. -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 15:48, 3 Jun

Just for Mordillo, right? Saberwolf116 16:23, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Yeah, he pulls out his banhammer if I cuddle anyone else in public O_o -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 18:05, 3 Jun

How does he react to gentile huggling? /cuddles Mordillo. -OptyC Sucks! CUN21:29, 3 Jun

Mordillo! It's been so long! Hug me! —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 21:31, 3 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, if you don't feel like hugging people, that's alright. I'm afraid I do have some sad news to communicate however. Our beloved Luvvy has left! *starts crying* —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 20:39, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

I LOVE YOU MAN!

Hamboozoo Lawi Boozoo want to say sank you, ya otta!

You gived your voice to make za interfiew on za front page. So I want to say sank you... Want to see my brobelor? I also take you to za byramids and show you good time, and for you only 10 American dollars. No, wait! Come back! I want money! What do I tell to little Ahmad when he says ya baba, get food?...

Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 21:52 June 3 '09

UnSignpost June 4th, 2009

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

Now With 0 Trans Fat!

June 4th, 2009 • Issue 50 • I love the smell of news in the morning!

Todd not Lionised by all? By UU Uncyclopedia's long-cherished status as the worst was given a massive fillip this week with the discovery that genial admin Todd Lyons has his own Facebook hate group. This considerable accomplishment has to be considered among the highest praise ever bestowed on an admin of this wiki. Kosher kvetcher Mordillo even opined that it makes him the #1 admin on the wiki, as "even Mhaille doesn't have a hate group!" Lyons himself was deeply touched by the tribute, exclusively telling the USP: "I'm a bit surprised (though not touched, like the WotM nomination this month), because I generally shy away from the snappy/nasty ban summaries that would guarantee me a spot in the UnSignpost. Really, RDB is my #1 pick for this, and richly deserves to have a hate group on Facebook (if not several dozen by now). :) Second, if I had any insecurities that I'd lost my touch with the ban hammer after being on hiatus, they're gone. The arm's feeling great. The surgery seems to have been a 100% success. I'm feeling good that I'll be able to finish out the season and hopefully garner some interest as a bureaucrat when I become a free agent this fall." The group's creator was unavailable for comment, probably due to being banned. Comings and Goings By Gerrycheevers As you may or may not have noticed, there recently seems to be a flurry of returns and hiatuses (hiati?) on this silly wiki that some of us like to call Uncyclopedia. This could be due to a number of things: the end of the school year and thus the end of studying and finals; the summer season causing new and strange emotions in internet comedy writers; the revolving door recently installed at the Uncyclopedia headquarters. Regardless of the reason, those returning have been 'welcomed', and those leaving have been warned that their userpages will be mercilessly vandalized should their vacation extend overly long. Popular aquatic creature user Finnius claims to have returned. His contributions since returning have thus far been limited to announcing his return in the forum (as required by Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435), but the Unsignpost is confident of a return laced with quality pee and other, less pungent useful contributions. The elusive Cajek, a mythical creature once thought to exist only in the surreal dreams of squirrels, has returned gloriously upon the back of a giant squirrel. So at least some part of the myth was true. Take that, science! Other returns include Dexter111344 after a brief hiatus and Gouncyclopedia!, who evaded a years-long block to announce his return in the forums (UB435 again). Perhaps the most noted of all, faithful new dog Dognewspaper returns from a one-month hiatus to appear in this story. Other users have seen a decline or all-out drop-off in their contribution level. SysRq remains on an indefinite hiatus. Gerrycheevers has seen his number of edits dwindle as of late. MrN9000 is still among the missing. Codeine is apparently gone as well, and Necropaxx will be losing his precious internet. We bid these users to hurry back, lest their userpages and works be smited with the hammer of pointless vandalism.

Check out these pages! Image spam Another one bites the dust Admin competence? From our logs: 01:08, 3 June 2009 TheLedBalloon (Talk | contribs) blocked 24.8.59.236 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (So far you've edited the pages 'your mom' and 'school'. Want me to try and guess your age?) 07:46, 2 June 2009 Mordillo (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.17.189.150 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 week ‎ (bored fuckes should go fuck boards. It's too early in the morning and I can't think of anything smart to say) 20:04, 30 May 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 174.117.160.23 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎ (Cyberbullying: we don't want to hear about people you know and why you want to suck their dick. I know that's not quite what you said, but something about what you said implied it) 20:38, 29 May 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked Da Wizard Of Oz (Talk | contribs) with an expiry time of Judgement Day ‎ (PLEASE MASSUH WHIP ME, OH MAH GOD, I'M GETTIN' SO HOT, I'LL SUCK YO DICK!!!!!!) Biopic of the Week The very Reverend Zim ulator is the undisputed, acknowledged, and slightly puce master of UnNews. As such, reporting about him in a newspaper may be an act of such metaphysical self-referentialism that it creates a negative feedback loop, destroying the universe, or at least this wiki. But, in the name of bringing Zim's name to our readership, that's a risk we're willing to take. We'd normally link to a bunch of stuff he's done at this point, but just take a look at UnNews - as we mentioned, he's basically the guy who keeps it all tickin'. Rats off to ya, Zim! Old School Featured Article of the Week In a week when Obama is trying to reach out to the Muslim community, perhaps it is an apt time to consider how far he is going to have to reach. Will he ever be able to bridge the gap all the way to the readership of American Fundie Magazine? "The magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist", and is just as relevant today as it was way back in 2006. VFD kept article of the week Plan 11 from Outer Space has been referred to as "amusing", "pretty funny" and "hilarious". Go see why people thought it worth having around.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

Delievered by Saberwolf116 01:55, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

I hate historical Uncyc!

How come Wikipedia gets to become a rich, advanced wiki while we are stuck in the past? Is it because we are the worst? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill | 10:47, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Indeed we are. ~ 11:09, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Maybe if we semi-protect Wikipedia, we'll suck slightly less. Saberwolf116 14:48, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Is this why we are listening to Cyndi Lauper, Michael Jackson and Madonna? Is this why we are completely stuck in the 1980s? |Si Plebius Dato' Joe ang Aussie CUN|IC Kill | 09:52, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Sorry Mordillo!

yeah, I got a little "brash american" as UU said with Romartus. Everything's okay, now though: Just wanted to assure you of that.   Le Cejak • <21:12 Jun 05, 2009>

Yeah, bloody Americans. You know I love you as though you were my sister, but sometimes you're too hard on noobs for some obscure reason. We were all nooobs once. ~ 21:26, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

You're speaking as though I'm not a noob! Check out my user templates: I'm still adopted by Led. But yeah, it's hard for me to be funny and relaxed when I'm not writing articles for some reason...   Le Cejak • <21:29 Jun 05, 2009>

Remember what anger is a sign of: fear. The angriest people you can think of were probably the most frightened. And, yeah, I'm always scared I'm not doing the right thing.   Le Cejak • <21:34 Jun 05, 2009>

Can you tell I'm studying to be a psychologist?   Le Cejak • <21:39 Jun 05, 2009>

I can tell you're off your meds. But that's a typical situation isn't it? ~ 23:12, 5 June 2009 (UTC)

Aren't psychologists those who later become mass murderers? I've always wondered if it really requires a degree. A degree of insanity, perhaps. -- Style  Guide 16:31, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

this explains everything (oh, and good morning in California, Mordillo!)  Le Cejak • <17:01 Jun 08, 2009>

A CALIFORNIAN EH:!?!?!? I SHOULD HAVE GUESSED!!! ~ 18:57, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

WotM and NotM

Noticed this earlier: WotM and NotM on the Main Page are from last month. You're the guy who usually writes those, si? It would do my heart a world of good if we were up to date. Thanks a lot! • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 00:35, Jun 6

mumbles somthing about lzy no good admins ~ 10:31, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

Question

Me and Cheddar are fooling around on LPTEW, and we've been bypassing the archive we've been imposing on each other to win. Is that OK? Saberwolf116 14:42, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

It's BHOP, you can do just about anything except humping. ~ 14:45, 6 June 2009 (UTC)

You don't understand

Anti Manchu lobby is a rasist who's been harassing me on wikipedia, youtube and now here, he's been continally attacking me on my talk, m userpage and a template i made on wikipedia, he got banned for his continual rasist abuse directed towards me but he just keeps coming back with tor sockpuppets and stuff, finally the admins who's been helping me had seen enough and protected my pages so that he can't harass me any longer, but that wasn't the end of it, he attacked me on youtube with a account, called [my username]isatraitor, and then he deleted the account, now he's harassing me here, I want you to understand that i attacked him because he's been harassing me for ages and ages, and i have enough of it, his username is aanist manchus, i am a chinese manchu, and he, rasist to my ethenic group, keeps harassing me, i simply can't take it any longer, just because he's barred from harassing me on wikipedia dosen't mean he can do it here. but he did. Btzkillerv 17:06, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, you Manchus are bastards for taking over China aren't you? What was that slogan? Death to the foreign Qing? O_O But seriously, I banned him for a week for harrasment and if he'll continue his behavior he'll get more. However, bear in mind that we judge people here according to their actions in this wiki, not according to other places. Wikipedia has other standards of behavior. Even though we don't condone harassment. ~ 20:59, 7 June 2009 (UTC)

I got an IP for you to ban

173.169.102.200

I caught him vandalizing Guildy's ftd. Trogdor page. He also vandalized the Superman page. Don Puttano cHeDDs 01:20,8June,2009

Done. Next time place him on BP. I'm not always around, even though I try to give the impression that I am O_O ~ 06:47, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

I did shortly after leaving that message. Don Puttano cHeDDs 17:59,8June,2009

hey

I can understand that File:Vietnam T-Rex is too black humour for you but you should not have called me heartless. --Docile hippopotamus 01:30, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

A. Please don't tell me what to do. B. I was referring to the picture, not to you. ~ 06:26, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

If you weren't calling me heartless than I wasn't telling you what to do. --Docile hippopotamus 07:44, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

Seriously, don't play that game with me. I'm quite short tempered lately with what's happening here and I don't react well to remarks like that. ~ 07:48, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

What's happening here? --Docile hippopotamus 07:56, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

"hooray for grammer nazis"

Somebody refer to me? Morning Mordillo. --UU - natter 08:29, Jun 8

Just call me The Man with the Thousand Spelling Mistakes. ~ 18:53, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

MORDILLO!!!

Why the f*ck did you buttrape the iCarly page? And just when That one guy and me were trying to fix it. Just please don't do that again... --Meganew (Crap I've Done) (Chat With Me) MUN IT 19:11, 8 June 2009 (UTC)

Thanks for whatever it is you did

Apparently one *ahem* from you is more efficient at getting a dairy product to stop tormenting someone they've got a vague suspicion of being female. I'm usually quite good at taking care of myself. Hey, you ever tried babysitting a baby boy? I could pin this little bugger on you for a few hours while I sleep and get some of my coherence back. Little Pink Sock 23:48, 9 June 2009 (UTC)

sorry, sir (ma'am?) but that ahem was for me, not for cheddar, and I appologize for what I said. And no ahems can stop cheddar, by the way :) Also, haShalom, Mordillo! Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 06:44 June 10 '09

You know you two are like halves of a siamese twin by now, Moosh? That is, you hang out so tightly on my talk page you could as well be the same person... Little Pink Sock 07:26, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

You're not the first to say that :) Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 09:37 June 10 '09

Mordillo is the admin other admins aspire to be when we grow up. --UU - natter 09:49, Jun 10

O_O Just a twat that can't spell with a short temper is all. ~ 09:55, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Sir is far too modest. --UU - natter 09:57, Jun 10

My mother says the same thing. Have you met my mother? ~ 10:03, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Based on what these gentlemen are saying. I believe I don't want to meet your mother. Just to be on the safe side. Little Pink Sock 10:08, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Well, you know, Jewish mothers. ~ 10:38, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Actually I don't, mine is a certified blonde. Little Pink Sock 10:46, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

I have a very strict catholic grandmother. But I think it's beyond the point. /me returns a magic cape to it's secret hiding place and wanders off again. Painkillers and sleep, here I come. -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:06, 10 Jun

A ruling, perhaps.

I'm questioning the votes of 71.135.57.215 on VFH (see his contribs). From his comments it seems he might have been voting based on the actual voting page? I'm not really sure. But they seem to be a bit odd. Should they be struck out, or is this too much power being placed into your hands, starting off an improbable sequence of events where you name yourself emporer Modillo and kill off all of the remaining jedi admins? Hmmmm.... maybe I should meditate on this. Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:18, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

I think he actually thinks he is in wikipedia. Odd. oh - and BOW TO THE PADISHA EMPEROR OF THE UNIVERSE! </dune> ~ 19:16, 10 June 2009 (UTC)

so my dad is a little upset...

idk if theres an actual place on the site wehre i can make a serios complaint but... when you google my father's name one of the things on the first page that come up is one of your uncyclopedia articles. My friend and i jokingly made innappropriate remarks on it a couple years back and my dad just saw it. he tried deleting that part but the article just got restored. i was wondering if you could help me out with this? 5:58 10 June 2009 (UTC)

Mr Winkler is gay? Colour Sig For Make Mahm00shA Look Cool 22:19 June 10 '09

it's on this article: http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Mordillo/Jew it includes the final paragraph in the section, What's That On Their Heads?

my dad already talked to the cops so its kind of important that it gets removed

Delete this page

http://en.uncyclopedia.co/wiki/User:Mordillo/Jew contains defamation, check the discussion on the page

Award

Rabbi Techno would like to honour you with the coveted

BLUE SCROTUM AWARD
Which is given to those who have demonstrated remarkably excellent judgement,
impeccable good taste and faultless, all-encompassing wisdom
(by doing something like voting for ME to win WotM).
Well done and thankyou, from Rabbi Techno.

---

PS - hope you didn't take offence at what I said about the front page thing yesterday. :-) is sometimes insufficient to convey intended humour in a statement. :-) Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 08:29, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Nah, it's all part of the grand scheme of Jewish humor. Good one on the WOTM and I will cherish this blue scrotum for all eternity! ~ 08:48, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

So I hear Tel Aviv is coming up for a hundred years old this year. That's never happened before - we need to invent a food traditionally eaten during the occasion, that being one of the most important aspects of Judaism. Any suggestions? How about hashcakes, why should the Rastafarians get all the fun when it comes to drug use sanctified by religion? Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 11:24, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

You missed it! It was in April when I was over. Hashcakes? Good idea, but not very Jewish. Gefiltehash maybe? ~ 07:15, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Damn it - just noticed a banner at the top of an e-mail I got a couple of days ago. Gefiltehash may work, but how about mixed with a bit of potato, onion, flour...fry it...Hashkes! Rabbi Techno kvetch Contribs FOXES 07:20, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Hashkes??! I like the sound of that. I wish it was Hanukah already! ~ 07:28, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Gram-papa!

Is that how you say that? Is this fiddler on the roof, or am I crazy?

First, you must archive, because my shitbox of a computer is scrambling to keep up.

Second, I want to reiterate that I'm sorry for being mean to Romartus for his review! We cleaned it up, I swear!

Third, re: your ministry of love post. Could we maybe get RID of a few awards to fix the problem you're talking about? I agree with what you're saying. We could even get rid of NotM, because that causes a whole shitload of drama. We could get rid of the ranks, too. If you win WotM, no promotion for you! no CUN, MUN, GUN, KUN, or any of that stuff.

Anyway, I mostly wanted to stress that I'll be nicer to new folks! I'm sorry.   Le Cejak • <15:40 Jun 11, 2009>

I read the Miniluv post too, and i'd like to give my own opinions. Quite frankly, i'm getting sick of people telling me I have to write. Here's a news flash: I cannot write. Period. I simply can't. Which is why I employ myself on other tasks throughout the wiki. I don't have any "goals" of becoming a poopsmith or admin, though it would be nice. I devote my time to PR and VFD simply because I enjoy it. I don't enjoy writing because I suck at it, and I enjoy reviewing because i'm good at it. I agree with you on the whoring thing; frankly, I think there should be a rule against it. But my point is, don't go hating on the users who don't write: writing may be the central theme of this wiki, but cleanup is just as important. /rant. Saberwolf116 15:45, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Did any of you see any specific names in the post? Did I say "Cajek has been mean" or "Saberwolf can't write"? I didn't criticize anyone in particular (and Cajek, I have no clue what you're about, but I'll be happy to ban you for it). As for you Saberwolf, before I see a serious attempt from you to write something you'll keep hearing that from me. SO GET OVER IT OR WRITE SOMETHING! /uncle Mordillo ~ 15:57, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Two things: 1. No. 2. I wasn't saying you were targeting me in particular, but we maintenance users are not the problem: rather, it's the maintenance users who both cleanup the website and try to suck up to admins for special priveliges. There's a difference, just sayin'. Saberwolf116 16:01, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

an admin-only thread? who do you think you are, some sort of higher-up in some sort of secret cabal? anyway, you bring up many good points which i have been pondering lately as well. i've always thought of awards as sort of dangerous...if you look at the winners, they tend to stop doing the thing they got the award for immediately after receiving it. mostly to move onto the next award. i think writing is important, very important, but we do need our madmaxes and his general type to do the dirty work. did famine or flammable ever write anything? they were before my time (and i've been wasting time on here for ages). in conclusion, it's good to see you actively taking interest in the future of the site, and you do a corking good job of making it fun for us lowly proles, so: thank you. SirGerrycheeversGunTalk 16:11, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Can we also agree to the idea that a few red-links are ok? Woody On Fire! Talking Woody Stalking Woody 16:25, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

First thing first - Saberwolf, I think you're one of the good guys, relax. Second, I never said that we don't need maintenance, we certainly do. In fact what I do most of the time these days, is maintenance. However, maintenance is just a by product of writing, which I have a feeling we sometime forget. Awards - I don't think we need to get rid of, just put in the right context. Famine - actually had WOTM and he was a good writer before he became....well....Famine. Red links I think are just fine, as they encourage writing new articles. And last Gerry, thanks - it's nice to get positive feedback every now and then :) ~ 19:32, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

GRMPP

I never axed you about collabortion. How about it some day? I have more ideas than I have the energy to rite alone. -- Style  Guide 20:24, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Unless I'm badly mistaken, it's my understanding that Mordillo doesn't like writing or anyone who does it. He's mostly just concerned with maintenance and awards. -OptyC Sucks! CUN20:34, 11 Jun

BEEP. BEEP. MUST. MAINTAIN. CAJEKOPEDIA.   Le Cejak • <20:35 Jun 11, 2009>

Exactly. I'm aiming for the "Jew who control Uncyclopedia of the month award". Or - JWCUOTM. Multi - be happy to, if you have any idea I can connect with. I'm trying to pick up my writing pace anyway. ~ 21:24, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Chatroom schmatroom might be a place to chew that out quickly some of these days. I visit almost every evening, see you there at sunset. Bring your own pistol and secondant, and two accountants and a box of rusty whatchamacallits. -- Style  Guide 04:53, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Hang on - what about that collab we're supposed to be doing, Mordillo, you haven't done anything on that in ages! --UU - natter 21:28, Jun 11

Explosion! ~ 21:42, 11 June 2009 (UTC)

Oh, you do remember! --UU - natter 21:48, Jun 11

Sneakety cuddledy tiem...

I'm not really back back yet, I don't know if I want to be so anytime soon, since I still feel like I'd like to wrangle the necks of some of the people around here, but thought I'd let you know I feel inclined to agree with you on the whole rant about things that outright suck here. I can say I'm mightily annoyed by whoring and general asshattery on this site. Maybe it's just that I'm back from work where people regularly call me, a disembodied, anonymous voice on the phone, by all sorts of nasty and derogatory names and that I'm cranky. I deal with enough shitheads, twats and general prime arseholes at work to just want some time off when I get home.

Lately, I've gotten the feeling that whenever I even vaguely express any dislike for whatever some teenage cunts who lack any respect for the disembodied string of letters on their screen that is me think is the norm or normal, or dare utter a words against them, the lot of them teams up against me. So after having had a 14" probe stuck into my vagina and from there up to my uterus (and based on the pain and blood and nausea, a little beyond) not too many days ago and having returned to being at work part time... I just can't take that same petty bitching over here.

Apparently I'm not the only person who's noticed that it seems like there are people whose target only is NotM, VFH and possibly even making admin (essentially a big red target smack in the middle of their foreheads going "VANDALISE ME NEXT!" and some minute perks). Some of us who have focused a lot of time and energy to giving random articles tweaks here and there and working on the so-called overall quality improvement of the WRITING here just feel redundant, when no-one ever seems to remember we're here for something else than just the occasional "banter" on talk pages that gets dirty in the non-sexual-innuendo-kind-of-a-sorta-acceptable-but-utterly-useless-waste-of-energy way. And I'm not sure if I'm going to ever submit an article to the formal Pee Review ever again. I'm getting tired of little cows trying to put me down without any constructive criticism to give.

Am I ranting? Yes, and I bloody hell think I might some more... I have no idea as to why and how I can find enough inspiration in my spare time to show up here if I'm only going to be ridiculed and treated like I'm not worth a thing by kids who are half my age. Really, all in all, I think it's good someone voices some of the concerns on my mind, even though I couldn't put them quite as eloquently and coherently as you did, as I've been emotional and very bitter as of late, partially because of medical, hormonal and work related stress, but also general annoyance...

So essentially, I wholeheartedly agree with the most of what you said. Oh, and I love you gramps, especially if you'll give me a little extra pocket money this month... ;) *curls up in grandpa Dildo's lap* -- Luverly - (Contribs) (Talk) Grammar Nazi, Mum , BFF & NotM, CUN , GMP . - Perkele! 22:45, 11 Jun

Famine has reincarnated?

In my view, that must be good news. --Rataube 05:25, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

P.S: enjoy today's Tel Aviv gay parade.

I miss him too. I think he was one of the good guys. And as I'm in Amsterdam, I'll probably miss it :) Heard it's going to be good though. ~ 07:13, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

It was fun indeed. --Rataube 20:27, 13 June 2009 (UTC)

UnSignpost June 11th/12th/whatever

The Uncyclopedia UnSignpost

The Newspaper Made Entirely From Recycled Internet Memes

June 11th, 2009 • Issue 51 • Also available in convenient suppository form!

"Uncyclopedia Worst, Boys Smelly" Declares User By Gerrycheevers In a move that shocked the Uncyclopedia community, female user Kamikazewatermelon09 this week posted a topic in the lovable Pancake House of Benson. The shocking part of the incident was that an actual girl visited Uncyclopedia. Hooray! Our numerous virgin users can now cross off 'make contact with a woman (without giving a credit card number) over the internet, phone, or via smoke signal' from the list of steps towards achieving manhood. Though we can't help you with that face-to-face stuff...we hear that genre of contact is terrifying. The content of the post was too lengthy and riddled with cooties for the male, attention span deficient UnSignpost editors to actually read. Furthermore, the UnSignpost Executive Board refuses to add cootie insurance to the UnSignpost employee health plan. However, resident awesome potatochopper and known girl Sonje was recruited to read the message and react as if she had been asked a clever question by a hypothetical handsome UnSignpost reporter. From her exclusive comments, it seems that the topic poster was disappointed in the vulgarity and immaturity displayed by many of our gentlemen users. "I find the crassness rather endearing," Sonje responded, "in moderation." So, the moral of the story is: the users who really count will forgive us our occasional desire to cuss a blue streak or upload some boob-related images. So...go nuts! Cabal Criticism of the Week By: Gerrycheevers This week, lead Cabalist Mordillo blocked The Wizard Of Oz with an expiry time of Judgement Day, and did not provide a reason for the epic pwning. We here at the UnSignpost would like to call out Mordillo on this lack of explanation. Not as a courtesy to the user, which he certainly did not earn through his insertions of a weird version of a California article into several unseeming places. No, we would like to know why Mordillo did not take advantage of an opportunity that was ripe with comedic potential. Surely this poor soul's username could have resulted in a ban reason referencing shiny red shoes or flying monkeys? A statement concerning the location of the user being a place that is not Kansas? We would have settled for a measly 'looking for a brain' line. But instead, you left us hanging, Mordillo. We'd like to officially call you on it, and we take comfort in knowing that though you can ban the editors, and you can ban our freedom, you can never ban the UnSignpost. Though, on second thought, you could delete it.

Check out these pages! Invisible Forum! Happy Birthday Sonic80! Happy Birthday Woody! Happy Birthday Modusoperandi! FREAKING LIAR! From our logs: 15:19, 7 June 2009 Mhaille (Talk | contribs) blocked 94.192.116.120 (Talk) with an expiry time of 3 months ‎(How To: Fuck off for 3 months) 17:49, 7 June 2009 Roman Dog Bird (Talk | contribs) blocked 92.1.87.74 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 month ‎(one two fuck you!) 10:00, 8 June 2009 Under user (Talk | contribs) blocked 203.190.33.94 (Talk) with an expiry time of 1 day ‎(comedy website. all football clubs get equal treatment here - ie a merciless slagging. mind you, chelsea really do suck.) Biopic of the Week Of all of the writers enshrined in the Uncyclopedia Hall of Shame, Electrified mocha chinchilla has the highest number of featured articles without having ever been profiled in the UnSignpost. Whoops, not anymore. Anyway, his list of works reads like a what's-what of awesomeness. The entity known as e|m|c also organized and ran several Poo Lit Surprise competitions. Worshipful notes and pie can be sent to his talk page. Retraction of the Week In last week's exceedingly humorous edition of the UnSignpost, we referred to Uncyclopedia Bylaw #435 was requiring all returning users to announce themselves in the forums. This is actually Bylaw #453. We apologize for the mistake, and also from the confusion resulting from the real Bylaw #435, which states that every 94 days a user's dog must be sacrificed to the Rancor. Sorry Led, and get well Fluffy! This Week in Uncyc, 1215 The Magna Carta was signed by King John of England, granting certain rights to serfs, peasants, slaves, farmers, and servants. This was immediately parodied in Ye Olde Signeposte, Uncyclopedia's bi-weekly periodical of the time. It was depicted as a document that forced King John to admit he had the power to tax servants, control every aspect of farmer's lives, and shoot serfs in his Royal Preserves for sport.

UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox

I think I'm going crazy. —Sir Socky (talk) (stalk) GUN SotM UotM PMotM UotY PotM WotM 13:49, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Archive your page already, dammit

You broke my phone's browser six times when I tried to load this page while at work. Fix it by making an archive outta this one. Now! *GRRRRRRR* -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:12, 12 Jun

10 more messages. And they better not be "ARCHIVE YOUR PAGE DAMMIT" O_O ~ 22:18, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

Why not? How about if we make <insert name here> bend over for you? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:26, 12 Jun

It's not that long... • Spang • ☃ • talk • 22:34, 12 Jun 2009

Nishbar li ha'zayin mehachara ha'ze! :(

Be'vakasha? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 22:41, 12 Jun

Well, since you asked so nicely...~ 22:44, 12 June 2009 (UTC)

"Nicely"? I thought I said something quite obscene... :) -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 23:09, 12 Jun

Badger

Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:12, 13 Jun

Mushroom

Mushroom? O_o -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:12, 13 Jun

Badger

...badger badger badger badger badger badger badger... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:12, 13 Jun

Badger

...badger badger badger badger badger badger badger... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:12, 13 Jun

Snaaakey snaaake

Oooo it's a snaaake... *shrugs* O_O -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:12, 13 Jun

Thinly masked attempt at making you archive your talk page...

Please? I'll give you a blowjob? One time offer... -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:12, 13 Jun

Too bad...

...the one time offer expired! Now please archive your user page before you have to ban me for vandalising your talk page? -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 11:12, 13 Jun

Thanks!

FROM THE DESK OF GUILDENSTERNENSTEIN

Thank you for supporting my recently featured article.

I, like, appreciate your support, or something.

—Guildy

---

Sorry...

...for putting that guy on BP. In hindsight it was a rash course of action. I will take more care in future. --^Dame 23:32, 14 June 2009 (UTC)

No worries. ~ 08:19, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Alright, Mr OCD "I won't archive until I've got 100 messages"...

Be'vakasha?! -- DameViktoria - (Contribs) - (Talk) - (Block log) 23:43, 14 Jun

Yo Dill-O

I get the feeling you're talking about me when you talked about non-admins threatening with a ban. Which is fine, and I totally understand your position. I did do that on Staircase's talk page that time. I want to sort of explain myself.

I had been trying to prevent Staircase from getting a ban for a while, reverting some silly things he did; Cajek was doing the same (or at least, I think he might have had the same concerns?). Basically, I couldn't seem to get through to him to do things the right way, and I thought uploading copyright works to this site was seriously bannable. I was just trying to scare the fear of God into him, so to speak. But yeah, I apologise for being like that, and it won't happen again. I've been trying to help other noobs and I've done it nicely, honest!

Part of my frustration with Staircase was that he was becoming a part of the "fuck about" clique that you so abhor. You're right that this is a problem. You are also right that there is no apparent solution. IronLung 08:21, 15 June 2009 (UTC)

Of course there is - "ban all the unhappy people!". Also, congratiolations - you are the 101st visitor to this page, you get...er....I'll have to think about it. But seriously - it's OK. You were one of the examples I was referring to, but I saw other people do the same. Just try to talk with him next time, and if that doesn't work call to one of the boys with the hammers. ~ 08:25, 15 June 2009 (UTC)