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Today's featured picture The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you. Photo credit: Mosquitopsu Archive - Nominate new image

Today's featured article Doctor Who is a British TV documentary, with an associated cult of brainwashed followers. It is produced by the BBC and funded by the London Tourist Board. It follows a now-famous presentational format, in which the presenter, referred to as "The Doctor," covers such diverse topics as history, physics, warfare, cookery, art and sex, with an assistant who's usually a young, attractive, and promiscuous female. However, the UK's Danny La Rue Act of 1922 forbids women from the acting profession, so the assistants are actually queer actors in drag. What makes Doctor Who markedly different from other documentaries such as Horizon, The Day Today and Newsround Review is that the educational nature of the program is carefully disguised behind a plot regarding aliens, time travel, and the like, woven from the real-life adventures of Oscar Wilde. (Full article...) Recently featured: Rachel Zegler Terraforming Tenet (film) Finno-Korean hyperwar Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?" ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe?

Word of the Day redundancy Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. Recent News Clearly not Deion Sanders vouching for his son Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide (Pictured) Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans New Easter Bunny is a fascist 4chan hacked, nobody cares Vatican commits simony YouTube child educator Ms. Rachel detained and deported by ICE Steve's Lava Chicken shut down due to health code violations Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Kurt from Good Burger • George Foreman • 23andMe • Bruce Glover • Richard Chamberlain • Roger Daltrey's eyes and ears • Val Kilmer • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Your 401K • Jay North • The 1-game "playoff runs" of the mid-tier NBA teams • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Lincoln Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global Economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Gawr Gura • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room On this day... April 29: Annual Belly Button Lint Harvest (Peru) 1108 - Last of the Ancient Jizzlamists captured and killed by the Abbasid Caliphate, challenging their Golden Age's renowned tolerance. 1862 - New Orleans falls to Union forces under Admiral David Farragut. Union forces would later prove to be the undoing of the manufacturing sector, curse you commies! 1942 - Brave Peruvian ace pilot José "Speedy" Gonzales caricatured by shameful American cartoon. (Pictured) 1954 - On a dare, a group of drunken Oxford History postgrads build Stonehenge in just under five hours in the middle of the night, Oxford fabricates druids to save face. 1968 - The controversial musical Hair, based on an Oscar Wilde work, opens on Broadway. 1988 - Video kills the Radio Star: Video is promptly arrested. 1993 - Don DeLilo's biting surrealist novel, Jacomo's Belly Fluff, panned by critics as "bourgeois" and "insufficiently postmodern."

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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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