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Today's featured picture The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you. Photo credit: Mosquitopsu Archive - Nominate new image

Today's featured article The Mutant Mammoth of Mayhem existed around 12 million B.C., give or take a couple millennia. It was said to be extinct when the alleged Ice Age was being tested as a sort of Endless Winter event. Although many have come forward from the frozen wastelands to decry such an event. They were frozen by other means and claim that no such Age of Ice had ever occurred. When archeologists asked how they became frozen, they shrugged it off as being silly and messing with the sun dial located near the North Pole. But the mystery remained of how the mutant mammoth lived and supposedly died never to be heard from again. Many drawings made by Neanderthals are to be found on cave walls, showing a typical mammoth with several sets of tusks like whiskers on a kitten. It had large floppy ears that could perk up and create a sort of wingspan so it could fly. It possessed a shiny green-ish fur coat which enabled it to hide in the jungle and surprise passersby. And it ate everything in sight. If it was smaller than the mammoth, it was considered food. Except for kittens or cats. Or anything that is cute and adorable. (Full article...) Recently featured: Antonio Brown Freedom Unfomercials:Coors Light Presents: The American Man Spider-Man Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... that nobody can describe what a simile is like? ... that school is an asylum where they mentally and physically abuse you for seven cruel hours, all with your parents' approval?

Word of the Day up Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. Recent News only in ohio Taylor Swift, Kansas City Chiefs gifted win by "unanimous decision" over Hailee Steinfeld, Buffalo Bills Just give the Chiefs the 3-peat already, it's inevitable.. Smokey the Bear revealed to be cause of LA fires NASA headquarters explode as major star goes on break The Ohio State wins skibidi championship rizz (Pictured) In an alternate universe, Notre Dame wins and saves us all from this monstrosity Elon Musk "accidentally" does a tribute to.. y'know Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop TikTok gets banned and unbanned in the US within 24 hours. Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025) David Lynch dies, weird town to investigate Los Angeles Rams rest starters in playoff game; backups tush-pushed out of playoffs Donald Trump given three Nobel Peace Prizes Donald Trump uses his get out of jail free card California's real estate market is on fire... literally. And in shambles. Steve Guttenberg comes to the rescue... without those goofy sound effects South Korea's president arrested for "accidentally" declaring martial law while ordering pizza, sentenced to play in the Squid Game Trudeau resigns after making a mess for a decade, Canucks rejoice Alcohol gets the Surgeon General's Warning for cancer; sparking "Dry January" chaos Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100 Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI • Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • ICE actually doing their job and rounding up illegal immigrants Recent deaths: Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • David Lynch • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright Upcoming deaths: TikTok, for real this time • The Philadelphia Eagles Super Bowl win hopes • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer • DEI, for better or for worse On this day... February 1: [Insert Holiday Here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert event here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert overdone joke about certain desiccated religious figurehead here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert crude sexual innuendo here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert event involving France and one of two French stereotypes here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert appalling racist joke added by an anonymous contributor from 2007 here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert bad pun here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert what is either an obscure pop cultural reference or just some stupid random shit here] [Insert Year Here] - [Insert lame in-joke here]

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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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