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Today's featured picture
Hand Grenade

The M822 Hand Grenade is an explosive device that resembles a hand. On activation, the device lunges towards the nearest throat or throat-like object and latches on tight with its five "fingers" exploding violently in a gruesome mess. Special care must be taken when activating the grenade. When activated, one should run behind the nearest wall or bush and squat down, so that the grenade cannot "see" you.

Photo credit: Mosquitopsu
Archive - Nominate new image

Today's featured article
MonkeyInFridge69.png

Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.

Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.

Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!

Hold on...

Why is my hair roller in here?

Wait...

This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?

Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.

Just a minute...

WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)

Did you know...
Rod serling.jpg
Silver surfer's family.jpg
  • ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
  • ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
  • ... that the Red Baron, in addition to being the deadliest ace fighter pilot of World War I, traveled through time?
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
  • ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
  • ... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
  • ... that homeopathic solutions are an effective treatment for thirst?
Word of the Day
defenestrate
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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"USA! USA!"

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Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

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On this day...
Justice for Han

February 23: Vin Diesel Saying the Word "Family" Day

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Writer and Noob of the Month
Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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