User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

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Today's featured article The streets of Laredo are a collection of avenues, boulevards, parkways, and other thoroughfares in the city of Laredo, Texas, USA. They are known for their grid pattern, flat nature, and proximity to the city of Nuevo Laredo in neighbouring Mexico. The streets of Laredo are paved with asphalt, while some outer roads are mere concrete or gravel-like paths. All registered vehicles in Laredo ideally drive on these streets, as do segues, blood donation trailers and ice-cream carts which have differing licensing schemes. Pedestrians use these streets for going from one place to another in Laredo, although they usually keep to the sidewalk. Most streets have two lanes while bigger streets have multiple lanes. Notable thoroughfares in Laredo can even have up to eight lanes, and are considered among the most consequential streets of Laredo. Most of the streets of Laredo are fronted by buildings with street addresses. Some, however, are fronted only by vacant lots. All the streets of Laredo are at surface level minus underpasses, dug-in roads, overpasses and tunnels. (Full article...) Recently featured: Bill Clinton Buffalo Bills UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries April 5: National Bullying Day (Scotland) 1614 - Pocahontas sells life story to Disney for a handful of plastic beads 1640 - King Charles I of England disbands the Short Parliament because "Who cares what happens to short people?" 1945 - USSR deploys troops in Yugoslavia to act as security at TATU gig. 1955 - Winston Churchill gives up politics and goes into insurance. 1979 - Robin dies of Bat-AIDs, a grieving Batman later patents the first Bat-Condoms. 1992 - Several hundred thousand abortion rights demonstrators march on top of babies in Washington D.C. 2000 - Global warming is first linked to the phenomenon of climate change. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day ban Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. Trump talks to America on Iran, Chuck Norris, the Moon, March Madness, and firing Pam Bondi World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Final Four Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • UConn ladies' basketball season + Jordan's Furniture customers • Jesus Upcoming deaths: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too • Holostars JP More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... I could absolutely kill for something to eat right now? (Pictured) ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously? ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say. ... that George Washington was an avid heterosexual? ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices? ... that you actually didn't know? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that President Hoover (Pictured) was an actual hoover? ... that Uranus is a gas giant? ... that Deus ex machina is Latin for "cop out"? ... that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand? ... that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great? ... that in some parts of Europe, glory holes are preferred to bidets? ... that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost? ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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