User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 41,122 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

The Superb Owl XXXV. Vote for featured image

Today's featured article Come here little grandson, and pull up a chair, ol' grandpa has to say something to you. What story am I going to be telling this time? Hah ha, no story tonight, Jimmy, I'm going to lecture you on something very important. It's time to learn about a little subject called filial piety. Don't start fussing now, it's a very important subject to learn about when squirts like you start to grow up. I was just about to get into that, Jimmy. Filial piety is a simple enough concept, often embraced by popular religions such as Confucianism and Christianity. Now, you're Christian but you don't know what filial piety is, right? That's because the heads of your religion decided to muck up the phrase and replace it with a simplistic platitude such as "love your mom and pop". But I digress, I'll talk to you about religion some other day. (Full article...) Recently featured: You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Osu! Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries February 9: International Tourette's Day 1884 - First case of tourette's is recorded, subject is originally not diagnosed as his tic was incessantly correcting people's grammar. 1942 - Daylight saving time is introduced in America after Congress is led to believe that that lightbulbs steal the sunlight. 1964 - The Beatles make their first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, scandalizes prudish American audiences with their protruding foreheads. 1971 - Apollo 14 returns to Earth after the third manned moon landing, brings back a shitload of sexually transmitted moon diseases. 1986 - Halley's Comet visits our solar system, leaves immediately after noticing the Earth starting to warm up. 2026 - You don't notice any symptoms of tourette's on this day, since all the tics were nonverbal, educate yourself fool. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day psychotic Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Too bad you can't customize this in the original. So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April (Pictured) Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Eurovision Green Room in danger of sexual harassment • The wait for GTA VI and Spaceballs 2 • Larry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • Non-Bears invading Tennessee • Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • ICE-y chaos in Minnesota • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • Seattle flooding the streets with Starbucks coffee to celebrate the Seahawks' win • New England Patriots fans hiding in a corner after being exposed • r/TheDarnold having a MASSIVE field day Recent deaths: The MetroCard • Stranger Things • the other Black guy from John Carpenter's The Thing • Bob Weir • Scott Adams • Kianna Underwood • Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • New England Patriots fans' insufferability, for now Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Netflix • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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