User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 40,104 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article Reddit is a social media content aggregation trash heap populated by liberal college dropouts where anyone can (re)post links to things they find on the internet, and then refresh every five seconds in anticipation that their link will quickly become popular, only to get disappointed as their post didn't match up with the capricious whims and fancies of the all-important algorithm. Most content that hasn't been reposted to oblivion probably waits in squalor, only to be reposted several months later by another user to thousands of upvotes. Users that post original content are extremely rare on Reddit, and claimed sightings of OC are usually just stolen from 4chan, while alleged sightings of OC posters have been made, none have been confirmed, and to date 0 OC sightings have been confirmed. (Full article...) Recently featured: Clairvoyance among dinosaurs Reddit Obscurantism Internal Revenue Service Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries May 29: No Anniversary Day (U.S.) 1789 - Thomas Jefferson (Pictured) creates the "No Anniversary Day", in order to let people rest from Anniversaries at least one day in the year. 1790 - Some people decide to celebrate "No Anniversary Day" anyway, to Jefferson's unending disappointment. 1848 - Wisconsin bribes President James K. Polk with a big block of cheese to lower the sales tax on cow feed. 1932 - Unemployed veterans of World War I march on Washington, DC demanding owed money, Government agrees to give out payment as soon as World War II ends. 1989 - The Prime Minister of Iceland, on advice from his six-year old son, bans applesauce in the country, sparking a major riot. 2004 - The National World War II Memorial in Washington D.C. is converted into a commemorative waterpark: "They died, so you could wade." 2010 - The WNBA declares their way of playing the sport is about the fundamentals, rather than the skill. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day golf Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news "Real" Timothee Chalamet at 2024 look-alike contest actually Finn Wolfhard Qatar personally gifts Trump a plane Austria wins Eurovision (Pictured) MLB welcomes cheaters and pedophiles into HOF New cast and plotlines announced for longest running Filipino sitcom BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!! Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big." Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank PBS and NPR to lose funding Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Ongoing: Eurovision • The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, and Deltarune • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run • Night Court • Lopez vs Lopez • Jayson Tatum's Achilles and Boston Celtics' repeat hopes • George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1 • Rick Derringer Upcoming deaths: DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ...that "Rosebud" was his sled? Oh wait, everyone knew that. Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that less than 10% of the world's cactus population contains gold inside? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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