User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 40,291 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

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Today's featured article Mrs. God's blog is republished from Facebook with permission of the author. Hiiiii! Just a few words from me, Mrs God. I know you haven’t heard from me much over the years, but now that my hubby’s away… First of all, let me reassure everyone – “God is not dead”. We heard a lot of that in the 60s. It wasn’t true then and it’s not true now. Phew! It IS true that He picked up a bit of a coke habit – and I can tell you, God moved in some peculiar ways back then. But we’ve finally persuaded Him to face His issues and booked Him into Rehab – He said “No, no, no” for thirty years and when God says “No” it’s very hard to change His mind but He's finally checked into the Priory and we're hoping He can work through some of His issues and make a full recovery. (Full article...) Recently featured: Metalheads 9-11 Shoutbox Clairvoyance among dinosaurs Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries July 10: International Bathroom Stall Graffiti Day 1796 – Carl Friedrich Gauss discovers that every positive integer is representable as a sum of at most three triangular numbers, yet he remains steadfastly confounded by other number-shapes such as the octagonal numbers and the irritating square pi. 1821 – The United States takes possession of its newly bought territory of Florida from Spain. The state instantly becomes recognized for its oranges, old people, hurricanes, and other stereotypes, except for Disney World which was not constructed until 1875. 1938 – Diabolical billionaire Howard Hughes sets a new record by completing a 91 hour flight around the world in just 87 hours. 2005 – Microsoft decides to remove the "Undo" button from all its programs, "for customer convenience". 2006 – Realizing their mistake in the previous year, Microsoft tries to fix the problem, yet is unable to Undo the mistake due to the lack of a button enabling this process. 2007 – On the anniversary of its acquisition by the United States, Florida is flooded while ironically leaving Sea World above water (pictured). Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Trump sends condolences to tough-guy actor "Mikey Madison" (Pictured) Clint Eastwood announces plans to live forever Trumpman introduces Trumpmobile Diddy gets off easy, possibly due to bribing jury Musk establishes "Porky Pig Party" to combat Trump's "Big Beautiful Bill" United Nations Secretary General gives up on world peace, World War Three begins Netanyahu and Khamenei get it on Trump joins in for threesome, blows load Khamenei fails to follow up after dirty talk, taps out Elon Musk breaks up with Trump Trump sends condolences to "Sly Stallone" Trump celebrates TACO Wednesday by reversing course on long-held campaign promise THE ROCKIES HAVE WON A SERIES! Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime • Rock drummer exodus (not to be confused with Tom Hunting or Zbigniew Fyk) Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota • Texas flood victims Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits • The asshats who spoiled Squid Game More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ...that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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