User:Cheddar Cheesia/Superbowl Mainpage

Welcome to Uncyclopedia, Superb Owl Sunday edition!, the future Hall-of-Famer that Peyton Manning still can't edit. Jerome Bettis has inspired us to work on 38,754 articles since opening in January 2005. Mike Holmgren has posted his XL Superb Owl gameplan for both teams to read before the game. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five. Sports | Games | Madden | Players | Owls | Commercials History | playbook | other gay American sports

The Superb Owl XXXV. Vote for featured image

Today's featured article Hello and welcome to our one hour special on the American Man, brought to you by cool, refreshing, Coors Light! In the next hour, you will learn the ins and outs of being a true man according to our sponsor, Coors Light. Silver Bullet! Many of these qualities are (or should be) entirely obvious to any man living in America, sitting on his couch with his dumbass friends, a plate of wings on the coffee table, and a frost-brewed Coors Light in his hand to wash it all down with. However, for those wishing to study the subtle mannerisms of the species, for lesser men hoping to become less of a wimp (or straight), or for annoyed girlfriends/wives who are sick of repressing their rage for their beastly better halves, we present the following crash-course in manhood as our sponsor, ice cold Coors Light, would have us do so. (Full article...) Recently featured: Unfomercials:Coors Light Presents: The American Man Spider-Man Brain rot My Brawl With Santa Claus on Christmas 1978 Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries January 20: Act Like You Care About Politics Day 1265 - The first ever House of Parliament is convened, first item on agenda is, "Do the peasants have too much rights?" 1783 - Britain formally splits from the American Colonies after the Revolutionary War: Britain says, "you'll be back." 1789 - George Washington makes speech declaring himself eternal Godking of the 13 colonies, is brought back to his senses with a stiff drink and a good nap. 1953 - Senator Alfred "The Lorax" Ramsey introduces bill to Senate to save the endangered Truffula forest from the Onceler. 2017 - Donald Trump is inaugurated as the 45th President of the United States, satire dies a slow and painful death. 2021 - Donald Trump is expelled as Joe Biden makes his return as the 46th President, promising to reinstate the legality of satire but subsequently failing. 2025 - Robot Hitler is inaugurated as the 47th President, liberals immediately call for a hundred stern op-eds. 2065 - Barron Trump's floating brain becomes President, Americans wish for the simpler days of Mecha Hitler. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news 5202-6491 hcnyL divaD Time travelers protest Trump's inauguration, reveal we're stuck in a time loop Taylor Swift and Hailee Steinfeld set for Celebrity Deathmatch as Bills-Chiefs halftime show Who's performing at Trump inauguration? (2025) David Lynch dies, weird town to investigate (Pictured) Los Angeles Rams rest starters in playoff game to disastrous results Donald Trump given three Nobel Peace Prizes Donald Trump uses his get out of jail free card California's real estate market is on fire... literally. And in shambles. Steve Guttenberg comes to the rescue... without those goofy sound effects South Korea's president arrested for "accidentally" declaring martial law while ordering pizza, sentenced to play in the Squid Game Trudeau resigns after making a mess for a decade, Canucks rejoice Alcohol gets the Surgeon General's Warning for cancer; sparking "Dry January" chaos Jimmy Carter kicks bucket at the ripe old age of 100 Panama Canal faces ominous threats from both global warming and Donald Trump Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Luigi arraigned for gunning down health insurance CEO; pleads not guilty Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel–Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • College football championship game • Another Josh Allen/Patrick Mahomes playoff game. Spoiler Alert: refs rig game for Chiefs again Recent deaths: TikTok • A CEO who died peacefully and surrounded by his loving family • Greg Gumbel • Jimmy Carter • Liberal Party of Canada • Aaron Rodgers' career • Jean-Marie Le Pen • Peter Yarrow • Anita Bryant • Yoon Suk Yeol's presidency and freedom • Bob Uecker • Dame Joan Plowright Upcoming deaths: The Kansas City Chiefs Refs season • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Jay‑Z's career and freedom • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Your New Year's resolutions • Los Angeles • Israel–Hamas conflict • Laura Palmer More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that every time you fall asleep, you die? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ...that you actually didn't know? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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