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In Pasticle Physics, antipasta is composed of anti-ingredients in the same way that pasta is composed of ingredients. For example, an antiegg and some antiwheat with a bit of antiwater can form an antipasta dough. It is potentially life-threatening to consume antipasta without extreme safety measures and a bit of luck. This is because when an anti-food particle comes into contact with a positive particle (for example a human's tongue) the two particles annihilate each other releasing a tremendous amount of energy (the equivalent of 1,000,000 spurts of explosive diarrhea after bad Mexican food). This means the more antiparmesan you add onto a mountain of antispaghetti, the more likely your body will paint the walls and ceiling before you finish eating it. Whilst an exciting, even an arousing proposal, it is a little too dangerous for most people (even if you have a little chub just thinking about anti-tortelini) and seen as reckless and hedonistic by conservative foodies.With excessive care, one can enjoy anti-rigatoni and most likely keep their stomach intact, their head on their shoulders and not shit out anti-blood. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
- ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?
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On this day...
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December 23: Festivus
- 1402 - Frank Constanza invents Festivus, "a holiday for the rest of us."
- 1888 - Dutch painter Vincent van Gogh cuts off part of his left ear, sells it on eBay for three times the list price.
- 1938 - Immigrants from the Old Country bring over the Festivus Pole (Pictured) to America, get rid of the tinsel as it's "too distracting."
- 1954 - The first successful piano transplant is performed, following failed attempts on organs and harpsichords.
- 1970 - Ted Cruz molts for the first time! He eats the scaly residue for sustenance.
- 2000 - Competing holiday Christmas Eve Eve gets laughed off the room by good, correct people.
- 2006 - Your uncle makes a scene during the Airing of Grievances, makes the rest of the day awkward.
- 2007 - You and Your mom duke it out in the Feats of Strength. Your Mom promptly beats your ass.
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