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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
 - ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
- ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
- ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
- ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
- ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
- ... that the populations of many endangered species can be increased with a simple Wikipedia edit?
- ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?
- ... that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
- ... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
- ... that Uranus is a gas giant?
- ... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
- ... that you can meet all sorts of interesting people when you're drunk? (Pictured)
- ... that sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from science?
- ... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?
- ... that wearing a Top Hat is not only a sound fashion choice, it gives you somewhere to hide candy?
- ... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
- ... that it is important to tune your Air Guitar constantly, as any dust particles that stick to the complicated arrangement of air will completely deform it?
- ... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
- ... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
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