Unmain Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to the Uncyclopedia,

41,046 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Aragorn-Action-UnPoster.jpg

Aragorn Arrowroot Elessar the Strider is a hero to all of Middle Earth, the royal king of Gondor by bloodline and the husband of Arwen the Lady of Rivendell, daughter of Elrond the Elf, Lord of Long Robe. Born in the Second Stone Age of Arnor which on everyone else's calendar was the period of time in the Third Age between 2931 to 3000. After that everyone was either looking for ways around the long thousand‑year ages and trying to cull them down to something that would fit on the kitchen wall or a journal even when journals during these times were the size of stone slabs or bricks.

Aragorn was trained to be a ninja and a cook. He was the ultimate firewood gatherer and he hated the Ringwraiths. He was also very skilled in the Elven languages of two different tribes consisting of the warrior elves and that of the regular, normal forest elves that just wanted to bake lembas bread and cookies, and do hobbit activities such as drinking and smoking a lot, making babies and getting drunk again, and eating more food, and making more babies and gathering more kittens, puppies, and ponies. Without the hassle of having to be dragged off to some nasty war, getting all dirty. Aragorn could communicate with both factions of elves but the latter was a bit more nervous whenever he'd bring up subjects like patrolling the woods for wraiths. Having a looksee at what's left of Moria. And going to Mordor to defeat a Dark Lord who lives near an angry and active volcano. Legolas and Gimli were really the only ones down with that sort of thing. (Full article...)

Did you know...

*... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
  • ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
  • ... that food is probably the most addictive substance known to man? Withdrawal symptoms include nausea, hallucinations and possibly death?
  • ... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Brothers movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?

In the news

Northsentinelislandfire.png
Those poor bastards.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 volume 2 and Spaceballs 2 • The Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich New Yorkers fleeing MamdanistanLarry Sanger's war on Wikipedia • The New England Patriots barely beating crappy opponents • Mike Tomlin screwing the Pittsburgh SteelersGiants fans hiding in a corner • Bears invading Tennessee

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • Nick MangoldJamaicaDonna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The pennyUdo KierJimmy CliffWarner Bros.

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpNYC's economy • Chiefs Kingdom's livers and kidneys after realizing they will probably miss the playoffs • Weed67% of people trying to understand why 6 of 7 news stories mention "6-7" • The MetroCard

On this day...

Description

December 6: International Day of the Jackal, Take Your Pants Off for Cancer Day (Utah, observed), Indifference Day (Finland), National Public Pooping Day (Denmark)

  • 1901 - Chicago woman gives birth to Walt Disney, who immediately sues her for copyright infringement.
  • 1935 - First known accusation of pedophilia made against Woody Allen when he is caught staring at a hot Asian infant in the next crib.
  • 1969 - Neil Armstrong becomes the first man to play Calvinball on the Moon, outsmarting opponent and fellow astronaut Buzz Aldrin by chanting an immunity poem and planting his flag, automatically earning himself 144 Elephant gnuts and claiming the Rank of "Duke of Ham Sandwich".
  • 1975 - William Herbert explains Reimann symmetry in a quasi-formatic manifold to sea lions at a Dutch park.
  • 1982 - A man from Denmark refuses to stop shitting in the carnival rides. Twenty-seven hour police standoff occurs.
  • 2010Bruce Willis is declared legally bald.

Today's featured picture

Vague
It's the Magazine for People™!

Image credit: PuppyOnTheRadio and Bizzeebeever
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,046 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Unmain Page!:
United Kingdom
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
41,046
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.