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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that you've just lost the game?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
- ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
- ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
- ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that you've just lost the game?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that Burger King briefly attempted to introduce traditional British cuisine in the US? (Pictured)
- ... that one person can change the world, but the admins will probably just revert it?
- ... that Santa sees you while you're sleeping, and he knows when you're awake?
- ... that you have schizophrenia and we're talking about you right now?
- ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings?
- ... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
- ... that the Virgin Birth is no longer considered a miracle? Women have been giving birth to virgins for centuries!
- ... that in Spanish, "¡Chinga tu madre, cabrón!" means "Have a nice day"? Tell your friends!
- ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
- ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know.
- ... that you've just lost the game?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that I am inside your walls?
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
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