Unmain Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to the Uncyclopedia,

40,970 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Donations

Categories · Featured content · A–Z index

Cnorrishead.jpg

Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris.

Recently a debate aired on ABC's Nightline pitting popular theists, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, against two reviled atheists from the "Rational" Response Squad, which is also reviled. This testifies to the growing number (30 million people) of fools who profess there is no God. Add to that what I believe is possibly three times that number of functional atheists, those who believe in a God but don't show it (as True Christians® do, by voting Republican, wearing little American flag pins and putting Jesus fish on the tailgates of their pickup trucks), and patriotic Americans in America are facing a new religious horizon in which atheism is becoming a formidable foe.

Shockingly, although the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered that forty-five percent of the population would support an atheist for President. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of our Christian nation is alive and well. Secularization, if you are not aware, will signal the end of America as we know it. For example, soon the secular government, blinded by their lack of common Christian decency, will (as they did with public schools) banish the Bible from the White House, before banning it in church and eventually outlawing it in your very own home! Will real Americans continue to stand for this outrage? I pray to the Lord, no. (Full article...)

Did you know...

Captainautofellatiocover.png
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
  • ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
  • ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
I burning your dog real.jpg
Captainautofellatiocover.png
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
  • ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
  • ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?
I burning your dog real.jpg
Captainautofellatiocover.png
  • ... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
  • ... that if we lose cabin pressure, masks will drop from just above your head? I always get the Richard Nixon mask!
  • ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless?
  • ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
  • ... that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?
  • ... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
  • ... that Big Pharma wants to get you high?

In the news

Norris4.jpg

Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein FilesWar Special Combat Operation in Iran • Saturn AwardsChucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports

Recent deaths: Miami Dolphins, twice • That guy from Boston. The band, not the city. But isn't the band from the city? • Chuck Norris doesn't fuckin' die, the hospital survived Chuck Norris • BuffyXander HarrisRobert Mueller

Upcoming deaths: Dancin' MaduroIranMahmoud AhmadinejadAtlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity

On this day...

Water? You mean like from the toilet?

March 22: World Water Day

Today's featured picture

Bass Player
Cliff Williams of popular music combo AC/DC seen here practising his scales on his custom bass guitar. This bass couldn't produce any tunas, or even any tunes.

Image credit: Col.swordman
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Articles


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,970 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Arabic!:
United States
Uncyclopedia
English
United States
40,970
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.