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Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.
Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.
Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!
Hold on...
Why is my hair roller in here?
Wait...
This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?
Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.
Just a minute...
WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
- ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
 - ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
- ... that Kilroy was here? (Pictured)
- ... that colorless green ideas sleep furiously?
- ... that Alaska's principle exports include snow, ice, frozen water, and permafrost?
- ... that the rumors that you are paranoid were started by someone who's out to get you?
- ... that I get knocked down, but I get up again, and you're never gonna keep me down?
- ... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that neither cows nor foxes can run for governor in Wisconsin?
- ... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
- ... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
- ... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
- ... Nautical knots are not knots that can be knotted into knots (most likely not)?
- ... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
- ... that the French Revolution was just a rip-off of the American Revolution?
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