Babel:Nk

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Nk:)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 41,062 articles since opening in 1948.


Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.



Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line
The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...


North Korea.png

Today's Party Column


Gingerbread Ed.jpg

Edward Christopher "Ed" [insert singular 3rd person subjective pronoun]eran (born 17 February 1991 - died NEVER) is a Canadian-British singer-songwriter, actor, owner of a bar in London, and Rupert Grint lookalike. He is also known as "Teddy" on Instagram. Additionally, he is considered to be the "one true god" of his home country, and even the entire world. Asides from that, he's known to the public as the "Ginger Jesus". Ed is arguably a fad of the year 2017 and also a British nationalist. Even though his career was meant to fade away at the end of the 2010s, he manages to still make music to this day, much to everyone's annoyances. He is known to have a lot of chart hits, especially in the UK, including "The B Team", "Untitled (Take Me Into Your Loving Arms)", "Nothing Happens After Two" and most infamously, "I'm Back & I'm Desperate". However, they are most likely plagiarized, but he still gets away with it. His private life isn't very well known, thanks to having no surveillance cameras in his home and the fact that the address to it is changed every day. Despite having a male given name, Ed somehow manages to have female pronouns as part of his surname, so, logically, he would've instantly became a "she" right away. Oh fuck, how do we go by them again? (Full article...)

You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns.

More of the best democratically-voted columns

Download our military mind implant device


Our glorious history

The British's very own version of Jesus.

February 17: Sheeranist New Year (United Kingdom)

  • 1991 - Famed British musician Ed Sheeran is born. Brits rejoice that their Messiah is finally with them.
  • 1996 - Gary Kasparov loses a game of chess to a computer, like that's never happened to anyone before.
  • 2008 - USA bombs some country after the military finds a few extra bombs hiding in an old pair of pants.
  • 2017 - Denmark is officially recognized as a mistake and erased from history.
  • 2026 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.


Complete, fully accessible party archives

Today's hangul word is
osprey
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


DawsonEmo.jpg
1977-2026

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter Olympicsr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

Recent deaths: UncyclopediaCatherine O'HaraLamontBrad ArnoldNFL season • Lindsay Vonn's legSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured)Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

Commie eats children.gif
  • ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation?
  • ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
  • ... that the brainrot is taking oveBRR BRR PATAPIM, IL MIO CAPPELO E PIENO DI SLIM! TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG TUNG SAHUR! BOMBARDINO CROCODILO!
  • ... that Afghanistan is known for its lush dirt farms, where dirt and dust are cultivated by villagers to enhance the scenic emptiness for which the region is known?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
  • ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?

You cannot deny...[edit source]

MaleNipples.jpg
  • ... that if you say peacock, no one bats an eye, but if you say poopcock, everyone blows their minds?
  • ... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?
  • ... that you actually didn't know?
  • ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
  • ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
  • ... that You have to be lucky all the time, but we only have to be lucky once?
  • ... that Uranus is a gas giant?

More wisdom

Party members of the month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 41,062 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Klingon!:
United States
Uncyclopedia
English
United States
41,062
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
50785
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
19194
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
Wikia 17766
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
Wikia 14423
Italy
France
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
Wikia 8936
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
Wikia 12400
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
6417
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
Wikia 6330
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7300
Finland
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.



For party-approved meetings among citizens, see this government declaration.

Protected by nuclear missiles, and an elite clan of fanatics.