Babel:Nk

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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 40,185 articles since opening in 1948.


Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.



Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line
The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...


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Today's Party Column


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Sexual harassment ("HAIR-iss-mint") is harassment or unwelcome attention of a sexual nature. It includes a range of behavior from mild transgressions and annoyances to serious abuses which can even involve forced sexual activity – but honestly, why don't we relax a little bit? Jiggle for me, baby. Yeah. Yeah, that's great.

Eighty percent of men are drawn to your tits, but I'm an ass man and, honest to God, I think Michelangelo sculpted your rear end. Ninety percent of me wants to lie down on that back porch right here, right now. Man, if these walls weren't glass, I'd have to chain myself to the desk. Oh, come on. Don't get so uptight, honey. My bark's a lot worse than my bite. But don't take my word for it. If you catch my drift. (Full article...)

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Our glorious history

LONG LONG MAN

June 14: Really Long Events Day

  • 1882 - Longest breath holding contest starts in Aberdeen, Scotland. Contestants have still refused to breathe, on account of being dead.
  • 1939 - German engineers unveil longest train in the world. As of 2025, giant line of old men are still waiting to fuck a skeleton.
  • 2001 - Scientists find a very long worm, not by any means a world record breaker, but still very long.
  • 2009 - Experimental artist creates world's most tortuously long song, it is just "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train, with no modifications whatsoever.
  • 2012 - Man discovered to have the longest penis, but since it starts way up in the clavicle it's only two inches on the outside.
  • 2019 - You wait for a package from Amazon, it takes two days to get here! What the fuck?


Complete, fully accessible party archives

Today's hangul word is
[[

oobleck]]
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


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Sly Stallone
(1946-Present)

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian InvasionGaza WarTrump and Elon's breakup • The IRS hunting late tax payers • NBA finals and Stanley CupAaron Rodgers finally signing with a team

Recent deaths: George Wendt • Updates for Mortal Kombat 1Rick DerringerCarolina Hurricanes' choke job in the playoffs • New York Knicks' surprisingly kickass season and coach's tenure • Fear Street: Prom QueenJohn RedcornBrian Grazer's career and livelihood, and anyone's respect for himSly Stallone Stone Brian Wilson

Upcoming deaths: DEIDiddy's and Chris Brown's chances at freedom • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screenNew York Knicks' future success and ego • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. KellyLos Angeles, again


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

  • ... that Boston Bruins goaltender Gerry Cheevers was one of the most feared hockey players in the so-called "stick to the groin" era?

You cannot deny...[edit source]


More wisdom

Party members of the month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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