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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 40,268 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.
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Today's Party ColumnCanadian baseball is a form of baseball played in Canada in which two teams of ten players take turns batting and fielding. Canadian baseball is played on a large field, called a camp, which is usually comprised of grass and dirt. The batsman (not a batter) stands on the faceoff spot. His objective is to get to a base (pronounced, as in French, bahz) and, if possible, go around all four bases which make up the iconic square (not a diamond). Due to the layout of the camp, it is much easier to get to first base than it is to get to the other bases, which is curiously not the case with French-Canadian women. The lancer (not the pitcher) is made to stand (not sit, unless the batsman does) behind the blue line in the centre (not center) of the camp. (Full article...) Recently featured: You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device Our glorious historyJuly 4: National Shoot Your Terrorist Neighbour Day in the United States
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Today in the DPRK
Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, TAWOG, Stranger Things 5, and Spaceballs 2 • Russian Invasion • Gaza War • Trump and Elon's feud.. make up.. no one knows anymore • Animal-related live-action remakes kicking Snow White's ass • Jaws 50th anniversary • Colorado Rockies game replacing Jaws airing • Israel/Iran "peace talks" • Pittsburgh Steelers adding old players way past their prime Recent deaths: Ariana Grande's Nonna • Canadian team's bid to win the Stanley Cup, again • PF4Eva's headphone cable • Jimmy Swaggart • Diddy's freedom for only 20 years • Michael Madsen • Diogo Jota Upcoming deaths: DEI • Tom Cruise's career of sprinting on-screen • New York Knicks' future success • Pittsburgh Steelers' locker room • Greta Thunberg? • R. Kelly • Iran's nuclear program • Oil prices • Dumbasses with fireworks in their backyards • Diddy's bank account after incoming lawsuits It is an irreputable fact...
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Party members of the monthHoly cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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