Babel:Nk

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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line
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Today's Party Column


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HOLLYWOOD -- People Magazine has revealed the Sexiest Man Dead for 2019... Hollywood icon James Dean. Born February 8, 1931, in Marion Indiana, James Byron Dean became a teen rebel in two Hollywood classics -- East of Eden and Rebel Without a Cause -- before dying in a car crash September 30, 1955, at the age of 24. He released one last movie, the posthumous Giant.

Now, nearly 65 years later, Dean is ready for his comeback. He has been announced to star in a 2020 movie about the Vietnam War. "Back in my day, it was impossible for a dead guy to get any work," Dean says. "Now with the futuristic computer whosits and whatsits and gizmos, I can play my old, unzombied self for all eternity. On the flip side, I can forgo computers and do horror movies. I'm talking with Greg Nicotero about guest starring on The Walking Dead." (Full news...)

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Our glorious history

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January 17: Kick Pigeons in the Face Day

Complete, fully accessible party archives

Today's hangul word is
procrastination
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


Hannity scrambles to interview Levi Parnas
Hannity to Maddow: Nope, not listening. La la la la la.


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

  • ... that if Mommy is willing to lie about a freaky old dude who sneaks into children's bedrooms in the middle of the night to eat your cookies and drink your milk, she'll no doubt be willing to deceive you about everything else?

You cannot deny...[edit]


More wisdom

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Party members of the month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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