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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Today's Party Column


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Morbius is a 2022 science-fiction antihero-based film based on an obscure manga, filmed in an underground cesspit, produced by Columbia Pictures "in association" with Marvel and distributed by Sony. Morbius stars everybody's favorite celebrity, alleged pedo, and clown (no, really) Jared Leto – acknowledged for acting in comparable pieces of film, such as 2016's Suicide Squad – as the eponymous Dr. Michael Morbius Morbin', a personality noteworthy for engaging in esoteric acts of manslaughter, in other words, morbing – a term that has since become to define thriving accomplishment, in honor of the film's performance and what Morbius does in Morbius. Alongside Leto, stars Matt Smith, who plays our main antagonist, and amongst others, John Doe, Man and other above-the-line pseudonymous individuals from Leto's alleged "cult".

Morbius came into fruition in 2019 following the success of Sony's Venom, the first film in a separate "universe" of films of their own constructed to further convolute that of Marvel's, almost as if the two franchises were divorced parents. This is overt given that Morbius has been claimed by Sony to be adjacent to another film thence. Furthermore, despite Sony's affirmation of this trilogy merely consisting of films regarding your perhaps-not-friendly neighborhood Spider-Man, Morbius lacks any clear interrelation thereof aside from in the marketing, but this was all just done to get the fans and commentators in on the unsuspected fever. Morbius, during production, was postponed some innumerable (read: six) times due to the spontaneous intercourse with a bat a pseudonymous actor on set engaged in during filming, hence the expanse of the COVID epidemic.

Upon release, Morbius has been largely alluded to by critics as "one of the films of all time", with many commending the film towards the facts that the writers wrote, the editors edited, the actors acted, the distributors distributed, the Morbiī morbed and the Milo had sex, and pooped his pants, his pants. The film grossed $163.9 million worldwide, which corresponds to roughly Ⓜ352,922,847,246,203 in Morbucks (a single Morbuck is worth $70,011,937, judging by what the big-shot mathemagicians presume). (Full article...)

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Our glorious history

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September 23: Take a Venomous Animal to Work Day, also National Australian Pavlova is Ours Day.

  • 1143 - Pope Innoocent II rejoins God after taking his wife to work.
  • 1554 - Francisco Vasquez de Coronado, Spanish explorer, dies after taking a rattlesnake to work.
  • 1774 - Pope Clement XIV (b. 1705) expires after taking a lionfish to work.
  • 1979 - Olympics held in Wigan for the second time.
  • 1986 - Ozzy "Ozzy" Osbourne catches a crazy train and is late for work.
  • 1989 - Songwriter Irving Berlin dies when the platypus he brings to work strikes him with its venomous leg spines.


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Today's hangul word is
procrastination
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


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Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

You cannot deny...[edit]

  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?


More wisdom

Party members of the month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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