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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 35,349 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution.
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Today's Party Column Mutaween are the Saudi government religious police. The word Mutaween literally means “volunteers” in Arabic, while other translations render Mutaween using less flattering words, and the fashion-conscious just call them “Mecca Vice.” The Mutaween are a constant source of mirth and amusement to the local sand dwellers who wonder what those chaps will get up to next. The Mutaween are notorious for being staffed by murderers and ex-convicts, whose only job qualification is memorizing the title of the Quran, in order to have their death sentences commuted from being executed to executing others. More recently, the term has gained use as a threat or swear word throughout the Arab-speaking world to indicate religious police in several Muslim majority areas like Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Qatar and Oman. The novel concept may have originated with Muslims themselves, based on a strict interpretation of Muslim Sharia Law, the entirety of which may be summed up in a single grand edict: Follow or die! (Full article...) Recently featured: You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device Our glorious historyAugust 24: Punch-a-Donkey-for-Jesus Day, Gatesmas (United States), Lysdexiac Awarenses Weke Ends
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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