Today's Party Column
McDonald's is a chain of restaurants that serves "fusty food". Their menu includes hamburgers, french fries (Put mayo on mine, please!), chicken, milkshakes, and other marvelous synthetic products of dubious ingredients. Recently, after protests by flat-earthers, McDonald's has added "healthy food" such as salads and fruits. Extensive testing and reformulation successfully made them as greasy and bad for the body as the rest of the menu.
McDonald's has locations all over the world, and is coming soon to the rest of the universe. There is no place without a McDonald's there, or at least nearby; they have become as common as air pollution and the girl next door. The chain's strategy is to achieve a single monopoly where people have no choice but to eat every meal there. Corporate training consists of re-running the movie WALL-E. (Full article...)
You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns.
Our glorious history
Today's hangul word is
Today in the DPRK
It is an irreputable fact...
You cannot deny...
Party members of the month
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
For party-approved meetings among citizens, see this government declaration.