Today's Party Column
The Polar bear (Ursus vegetarius) is native to the Arctic, and is the largest and friendliest land mammal in Canada. Like its close cuddly relative the cuddly Panda, it is classified in the order carnivora even though it is strictly herbivorous. Due to its popularity in the Coca-Cola commercials it is projected to surpass the panda in cuteness and cuddliness by the year 2012. If you see a Polar Bear, you should totally approach it and give it a friendly hug, because their fur is so snuggly and soft. They have a wholly undeserved reputation as ferocious predators, when in fact they couldn't be more cuddly, and can be easily beaten in a fight - for more information, see HowTo:Beat a Polar Bear in a Fight. Polar Bears are your friends. Whatever those pesky penguins tell you. (Full article...)
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Our glorious history
October 21: William Shatner Appreciation Day
- 1017 BC - Plato invents a wicked new toy, but squirrels it away for centuries. Not until the New King James translation of his world famous book The Republic is it rediscovered.
- Nought-686 AD - Conan of Cimmeria becomes Pope, is contracted to star in Conan the Destroyer.
- 1020 - Some German honkies were enjoyinng a very nice section of the Black Forest until some Romans come sack their village. Today is the day they payed those Degos back with interest.
- 16-nought-Nine AD - Ninja Turtle Raphael starts beautifying some buildings in Rome. He will one day paint the perfect pizza.
- 1740 - Worldwide squirrel defenestration conspiracy forms.
- 18-nought-Five AD - Battle of Trafalgar. French/Spanish/Dutch PWND by Nelson.
- 1989 - The gateway to Hell opened up for the eleventh time since Britney Spears got out, but it was only to let Mr. Flufferkins go tinkle. Mr. Rogers' neighborhood never recovered.
- 1992 - Rachael Ray's chicken gains intelligent life
- 1997 - Frogger crossed the road for the very first time
- 1998 - The $5 bill was invented
- 2007 - Buster Keaton is slowly forgotten once again.
- 2008 - Klingon made the official language of the United States.
- 2009 - You read this.
- 2015 - Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown arrive to Hill Valley from the year 1985.
- 2024 - A fly travels to Nova Scotia to drink some sodas.
- 1986 - KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!
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