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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 35,562 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column The Polar bear (Ursus vegetarius) is native to the Arctic, and is the largest and friendliest land mammal in Canada. Like its close cuddly relative the cuddly Panda, it is classified in the order carnivora even though it is strictly herbivorous. Due to its popularity in the Coca-Cola commercials it is projected to surpass the panda in cuteness and cuddliness by the year 2012. If you see a Polar Bear, you should totally approach it and give it a friendly hug, because their fur is so snuggly and soft. They have a wholly undeserved reputation as ferocious predators, when in fact they couldn't be more cuddly, and can be easily beaten in a fight - for more information, see HowTo:Beat a Polar Bear in a Fight. Polar Bears are your friends. Whatever those pesky penguins tell you. (Full article...) Recently featured: Vladimir Nabokov Roger Ebert Humphrey Bogart Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history October 21: William Shatner Appreciation Day 1017 BC - Plato invents a wicked new toy, but squirrels it away for centuries. Not until the New King James translation of his world famous book The Republic is it rediscovered. Nought-686 AD - Conan of Cimmeria becomes Pope, is contracted to star in Conan the Destroyer. 1020 - Some German honkies were enjoyinng a very nice section of the Black Forest until some Romans come sack their village. Today is the day they payed those Degos back with interest. 16-nought-Nine AD - Ninja Turtle Raphael starts beautifying some buildings in Rome. He will one day paint the perfect pizza. 1740 - Worldwide squirrel defenestration conspiracy forms. 18-nought-Five AD - Battle of Trafalgar. French/Spanish/Dutch PWND by Nelson. 1989 - The gateway to Hell opened up for the eleventh time since Britney Spears got out, but it was only to let Mr. Flufferkins go tinkle. Mr. Rogers' neighborhood never recovered. 1992 - Rachael Ray's chicken gains intelligent life 1997 - Frogger crossed the road for the very first time 1998 - The $5 bill was invented 2007 - Buster Keaton is slowly forgotten once again. 2008 - Klingon made the official language of the United States. 2009 - You read this. 2015 - Marty McFly and Dr. Emmett Brown arrive to Hill Valley from the year 1985. 2024 - A fly travels to Nova Scotia to drink some sodas. 1986 - KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!! Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is procrastination Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK "I liked Winter Soldier." Comcast moves TCM to sports package Mick Mulvaney admits quid pro quo Stanley Kubrick resurrected, asked his opinion on Marvel movies (Pictured) Joe Biden's plan for black people Sam Smith's family thank fans UnNews remembers Lord Zedd New Apple Watch to tell the time Boxcar Bertha to be Scorsese's shortest movie ever Forest animals seen singing, dancing after death of David Koch Illegal aliens to be deported back to Andromeda galaxy Coyote $21,000 in debt Florida man turns Spider-Man into John Carpenter's They Live Where will Muse be in fifteen years? Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from condom factory? You cannot deny... ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)? More wisdom
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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