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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 36,267 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column I've tried to avoid writing these types of UnNews stories, as they are serious and not intended to be stuffed with fart jokes, dick jokes, bad puns that would make Mr. Freeze shiver in embarrassment, or basically anything that Webster (or even TV's Webster, Emmanuel Lewis) would define as being "funny." But the events, the insurrection, that transpired on January 6, 2021 went so far beyond... that UnNews had to cover the story. With as few jokes as possible. (Full article...) Recently featured: UnNews:January 6, 2021 Among Us UnPoetia:Triste et malum est UnBooks:Moohammed's facemask Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history January 12: Politically Incorrect Bedtime Stories Day 1528 - King Gustav I of Sweden, after a Danish armchair of his breaks after only two hours of use, declares that all furniture sold outside of Sweden must be sold unassembled. 1907 - A baby Sergei Korolev, Soviet rocket scientist, is found hidden inside a stalk of corn by a poor farmer. 1966 - Lyndon B. Johnson declares America must stay in Vietnam till that whole Communism fad blows off. 1981 - The NAACP removes the "I have black friends who are okay with it" loophole for people without N-Word privileges, twenty-something white dudes riot. 2010 - An earthquake in Haiti kills over 100,000 people, wait, you already forgot about it? That's cold. I don't even think you donated. 2015 - Eighty-nine year old comedian Boz "Yellowface" Trillman cancels his long belated comeback after uproar at a joke about the differently abled. Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is procrastination Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK UnNews editorial about the January 6th attack (Pictured) 2020 refuses to concede, vows to continue one more year Trump sues Coronavirus for infection fraud Jesus is given a one-year ban TV series Glee responsible for all the problems of 2020 Girl bleeding everywhere gets white water all over her slide The Seven Wonders of the Ancient World got updated by COVID-19 Thanksgiving is cancelled (again) Trump urges Van Helsing: STOP THE COUNT! Joe Biden wins, CNN calls it "fake news" Dewey defeats Kanye Dollar Tree shit smear mystery solved Anti-maskers ignore Halloween Facemasks are a conspiracy by Silver Shamrock This week's horoscopes! UnNews remembers Eddie Van Halen Mr. Krabs's tax returns released Trump has the hoax virus CDC recommends eating boogers Kanye West talks about Rolling Stone's new 500 Greatest Albums list Joe Biden to remake The Mask Middle Eastern journalists cannot wait for the 9/11 20th anniversary Biden being controlled by Dark Shadows Conways take political break in order to watch Urkel reruns Satanic heavy metal drummer becomes born-again Christian Trump's vocabulary reaches 50 words Van Morrison's brain dies of COVID-19 Trump attacks derpy pony US replaces SATs with CAPTCHA Q announces peace between Q's and Q Biden announces dead wrestler Kamala as running mate Biden selects Strong Woman as running mate UnNews remembers Ennio Morricone Supreme Court to David Byrne: "This is not your beautiful wife" The Big Bang Theory pulled for being pizza-face Your favorite show is renewed for 9th season The Police shorten band name to "The" over controversy TV's Cops cancelled 25 years too late Pink Floyd killed by coronavirus Kalifornische Beamte erklären das Ego von Elon Musk für wesentlich Trump declares COVID-19 a terrorist organization Your cat's gonna kill you Christof from The Truman Show dies aged 74 Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... that Michael Jackson should have had more apples to keep his doctor away? You cannot deny... ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores? More wisdom
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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