Today's Party Column
And then, from the corner of the room came a sound. A dreaded sound. The tortured changgg of a slightly out-of-tune guitar being lovingly stroked by someone whose ambition far outweighs their talent rang around the room, and as hearts sank in unison, the cry went up: Jesus Christ, who brought that guitar?
Now if you were a professional musician, or you and your friends were in a bagpipe band, that's one thing - and we'd almost expect that sooner or later there'd be an attempt at an impromptu rendition of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. But that's not the case, is it dude? You're not a professional musician - you're not even really an amateur musician, as that implies a modicum of talent. You're a self taught chord abuser, and that's where the problems start. (Full article...)
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Party members of the month
Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
For party-approved meetings among citizens, see this government declaration.