Babel:Nk

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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line
The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...


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Today's Party Column


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The Reich thanks you for tuning in to this special broadcast of the Nineteen Thirty-Six Nuremberg Rally! All the beer and sausages in Bavaria can't keep you from this great sport, we know. The proud sponsors of this unequalled event, Otto Eberhardt Patronenfabrik, Fokker, and of course Schuberth Helme GmbH, wish to formally convey their joy in being associated with such an occasion. It's Day Two. Let's join the action!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is your favorite official commentator, Irvine Lindenberg. Wow, have we got a race for you! It's a bit back from the front, where Mister Goring is off at his usual insurmountable lead, for fifth position. Yes, it's Erich von dem Bach in his trademark SS uniform, duking it out with Rudolph Hess. Look at those eyebrows! You could hide an entire armoured division in there! Hess is in a 1933 MechlebahnSchtop Roadster, 277 horsepower but prone to sudden breakdown; von dem Bach is suffering, you can clearly see it, under the weight of his two iron crosses as he sits uncomfortably at the wheel of his Überbungdenführer SA 18, manufactured in 1934. It's been back and forth as they burst through this last stretch to a High Command-approved watering hole somewhere in Bavaria. (Full article...)

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Our glorious history

'Till the going down of the sun...

November 25: Feel Vague Anxiety Whilst Examining A Tattoo You Got On A Drunken Impulse Day

  • 1622 - The toasted sandwich is invented in a joint venture by the Earl of Sandwich and the Duke of Toast.
  • 1901 - Ernst Schrödinger, inventor of the Uncertainty Principle, was born on this day. Or was he?
  • 1997 - Princess Diana dies in car crash after driver is distracted by the 'I love Charlie' on her right buttock.
  • 2006 - Europeans give thanks for the farsighted move of kicking Ayn Rand off their continent.
  • 2006 - Rush Limbaugh suffers great embarrassment after an assistant leaks information about his secret tattoo depicting two men engaging in immoral acts.


Complete, fully accessible party archives

Today's hangul word is
procrastination
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


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Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeene...


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

  • ... that people who "have their cake and eat it too" are 10 times more likely to die of obesity than people who only "have their cake"?

You cannot deny...[edit]


More wisdom

Party members of the month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

You only have 5 (five!) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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