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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 36,633 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column Alternative medicine is a broad term describing those things which differ from actual medicine, which is hopelessly unhip and square. There are many fields of alternative medicine. None of them are quite as healthy as you putting the bong down and getting some fresh air and exercise, but what are the odds of that happening? An offshoot of acupuncture, inacupuncture differs from its parent discipline in that acupuncturists believe in lines of invisible force called chi which flow throughout the body, whereas inacupuncturists believe in jabbing people with sharp objects. Many people swear by this technique, saying that after people have finished jabbing them, they begin to feel much better. In recent years, some inacupuncturists have experimented with long distance inacupuncture, using high powered needle guns with telescopic sights. The results have been described as "disappointing". (Full article...) Recently featured: Principality of Sealand UnDebate:Should women rap? UnDebate:What does the fox say? UnDebate:The UnPresidential Debate Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history USS Enterprise (NCC-1701) no bloody A, B, C, or D! September 16: Talk Like Scotty From Star Trek Day 1903 - While investigating the breakdown of a prototype airplane engine, Orville Wright exclaims "Mah bairns! Mah poor bairns..." 1912 - When urged by Captain Edward Smith to increase engine power to aviod an iceberg, the head engineer of the RMS Titanic replies, "I've giv'n her all she's got captain, an' I cannah give her no more." 1962 - After John F. Kennedy says "I am a doughnut" in German instead of "I am a Berliner", the mayor of West Berlin whispers to him, "Laddy, don't you think you should be rephrasing that?" 1970 - While preparing for reentry after their journey back to Earth, Astronaut Jack Swigert informs mission pilot Jim Lovell "The energizer's bypassed like a Christmas tree, so don't give me too many bumps." 1972 - After hilltopping and getting into general mayhem in Hazzard county with the General Lee, Uncle Jesse warns the Puke boys that "She won't take much more of this." 1988 - Soviet Premier Mikhail Gorbachev defeats President Ronald Reagan in a game of Pac-Man. Tension brews between the two nations as a result. 1993 - During the O. J. Simpson trial, Judge Ito declares, "This jury-rigging won't last for long, Captain." 2000 - Osama bin Laden tells Saddam Hussein about his plan to hijack planes, to which Hussein responds, "Are ye daft lad?!" 2005 - When asked by the United States to return its diplomats to the Six Nation Talks, North Korea's Kim Jong-Il replies, "Diplomats! The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank." 1993 - Nick Jonas, the bane of teenage existence, is born. Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is procrastination Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK A*Teens reunite 40 years later UnNews' exclusive interview with God (Pictured) R.E.M. members reunite, sign gigantic deal Patrick eats SpongeBob O.J. Simpson to make triumphant return to acting Citizen Kane sucks John Kerry comes out as a horse Supermarket thief: "Donkey Kong told me to" Mike Pence turns into a pickle It is all happening Lady Gaga's dogs stolen, returned Björk responds to Anti-Asian violence Stan Marsh presents: 2022 FIFA World Cup sucks ass Biden responds to North Korea's "Stink" complaints BMI songwriters (but not ASCAP) to receive vaccine Governor Cuomo from New York is screwed Grodin Museum reopens to public Old movies are suddenly offensive Northeast getting another blizzard Just another dead doper and a dirtbag dies Marilyn Manson removed from New Radicals hit Biden will recognize Hillary as 45th President Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join? You cannot deny... ... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers? More wisdom
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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