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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. Our Dear Leader has inspired us to work on 40,982 articles since opening in 1948. Before editing, please read the Manifesto and browse the Constitution. Korean Workers' Party | Military exercises | Military technology | Soldiers | Juche | Party line The Glory of Korea | ㅆ to ㅋ | Other...

Today's Party Column Private Eye, that's what the letters spell out on the glass to the door of my office. New York City is a tough place to make a living and if you try to sing the blues you'll quickly find out that you're not even good enough to be another voice in the choir. Down on Broadway, it's a dog eat dog world so I make a little money on the side selling milk-bone underwear to hungry tourists or anything else that makes a sound like money. Anyone who lives here can smell the rat in this cheese factory but nobody's saying anything because having morals on Broadway is like celebrating mother's day at the orphanage - It makes you feel good but everyone stares at you like a nun in a string bikini. People don't normally need a Private Eye but when their chickens come home to roost it's a little like being the only cabbage farmer in town on St. Patrick's Day. Eventually they all show up at my door with a sob story and a dirty job that'll pay the bills. (Full article...) Recently featured: Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can beg our leader to feature your favorite columns. More of the best democratically-voted columns Download our military mind implant device edit Our glorious history March 8: International Men Without Penises Day 4000 BC - God creates Eve, Adam celebrates that he doesn't have to keep stroking it by himself. 4001 BC - Eve forces Adam to sleep outside the hut after expecting free handies without anything in return. 1919 - Women marching on Washington, D.C. seeking the right to vote cite Oscar Wilde's play A Woman of No Importance as an example of misogynistic views. 1935 - Sophia blesses the women of the Earth by giving them the G-Spot, although men are cursed to never find it. 1978 - Your mother is born. According to statistics, she likely experiences 18-34 years of relative ease before you are born. 2026 - Losers on 4chan and Reddit rant about how they never got the girl of their dreams (Pictured), despite being "nice guys." Complete, fully accessible party archives	Today's hangul word is death Use this word to awe your enemies.
	edit Today in the DPRK Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei • Team Italy sled hockey Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad Rodong Sinmun, page 2 edit It is an irreputable fact... ... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured) ... that Joe Biden stepped in dog shit? ... that a camel's boobies are on its back? ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that genocide is a perfectly healthy response to any personal problems you may have? ... that this sentence is incomple ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join? You cannot deny... ... that Malcom X absolutely loved Kentucky Fried Chicken? (Pictured) ... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network? ... no, you didn't! Stop lying! ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool? ... that Crow war chieftain Old White Man was nothing like his brothers, Walks Over Eggshells and Sees No Color? ... that you can get great deals on Vietnamese clothing imports if you buy now? ... that it's been proven beyond reasonable doubt that 50% of modern marriages end in divorce because of arguments inside IKEA stores? ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards? More wisdom
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Party members of the month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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