Babel:Nk

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로동신문에 오신 것을 환영합네다! the official party-controlled newspaper of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

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Today's Party Column


Religious-police.jpg

Mutaween are the Saudi government religious police. The word Mutaween literally means “volunteers” in Arabic, while other translations render Mutaween using less flattering words, and the fashion-conscious just call them “Mecca Vice.” The Mutaween are a constant source of mirth and amusement to the local sand dwellers who wonder what those chaps will get up to next. The Mutaween are notorious for being staffed by murderers and ex-convicts, whose only job qualification is memorizing the title of the Quran, in order to have their death sentences commuted from being executed to executing others.

More recently, the term has gained use as a threat or swear word throughout the Arab-speaking world to indicate religious police in several Muslim majority areas like Saudi Arabia, United Arab Emirates, Qatar and Oman. The novel concept may have originated with Muslims themselves, based on a strict interpretation of Muslim Sharia Law, the entirety of which may be summed up in a single grand edict: Follow or die! (Full article...)

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Our glorious history

August 24: Punch-a-Donkey-for-Jesus Day, Gatesmas (United States), Lysdexiac Awarenses Weke Ends

  • 1456 - The printing of the Gutenberg Bible is completed by Steve Gutenberg.
  • 1463 - Portuguese discovered to be mispronounced Spanish.
  • 1561 - Willem of Orange marries duchess Anna of Sherbert.
  • 1853 - Potato chips invented. This is hailed as a triumph, as it will finally permit people to get rid of the vast mountains of dip that clog the streets of Europe.
  • 2011 - Barack Obama wins Donkey Punching award by simply sitting in the Oval Office. This is also how he won his Nobel Peace Prize.

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Today's hangul word is
procrastination
Use this word to awe your enemies.

Today in the DPRK


Forest animals seen singing, dancing after Koch brother dead


Rodong Sinmun, page 2


It is an irreputable fact...

You cannot deny...[edit]

  • ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?


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Party members of the month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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