W∑Łcøm∑ tø ∩c¥cŁøp∑∂ia,

the cø∩t∑∩t-fr∑∑ ∑∩c¥cŁøp∑∂ia that ∩ ca∩ ∑∂it.

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Tøda¥'∫ f∑atur∑d articŁ∑

WASHINGTON DC, USA -- As part of his transition to the White House, newly elected president Barack Obama has had a number of difficult decisions to make. One of the decisions Obama has faced is the type of furniture to buy for his new home. In past administrations, the selection of presidential furniture has not received much media scrutiny, probably because it's a rather trivial thing to write a news report about. But Obama's choices of furniture have been closely reported on since his November election to the Presidency.

Obama took several weeks to decide on what type of cabinet to buy for a small dining room off the oval office. He considered several choices, including a mahogany display cabinet, perfect for displaying small figurines and dolls, and a kitchen cabinet that would have stored spices magnificently. In the end, he decided on the same cabinet in which Bill Clinton stored the disembodied brains of his political opponents during HIS presidency. (Full article...)

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Archi√∑ – √øt∑ før f∑atur∑d articŁ∑∫

Did ¥øu k∩øw...

*... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"

... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?

... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"
... that The Great Toilet Paper Famine of 2020 was caused by Uncyclopedians?

... that if you put an ear up to a person's leg you can hear them say, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Archi√∑ – ∫ugg∑∫t ∩∑w ∑∩tri∑∫

I∩ th∑ ∩∑ws

Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom... and Hunter (Pictured)
- President-elect turkey pardons himself
Trump gets away with January 6th
Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix boxing match
Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue
The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon!
Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... only for him to pull out
Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA
Obama smears poop on daycare
Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality
UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump
Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America
2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow
TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs"

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump dance"
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Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Kate Middleton • Alabama football's championship chances • Noam Chomsky • Google as a monopoly • Coldplay • Joe Biden • Donald Trump

U∩N∑w∫ – Radiø Fr∑∑ Łu∩ch

Ø∩ thi∫ da¥...

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√iew tømørrøw – Mør∑ a∩∩i√∑rsari∑∫...

Tøda¥'∫ f∑atur∑d pictur∑

The famed Penus De Milo statue depicting Hermaphrodite, in the Temple Of Sheemayle.

Image credit: RadicalX
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Writ∑r a∩d ∩øøb øf th∑ Mø∩th

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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