Babel:Fish

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Charlie Kirk's 'Smile'.png

Charlie Kirk was a right-wing political activist, master(de)bater, possessor of the world's largest non-equine set of gums, and penitent God-fearer. He was best known for being a follower of Christ, having a perfectly proportioned smile, and for founding Turning Point USA, a conservative advocacy group which sought to bridge the political divide wrecking our nation by browbeating and clip-farming America's most retarded liberals for social media clout. His viral debate clips garnered tens of millions of views, and his staunch defense of pro-life, pro-gun, and pro-America viewpoints earned him comparisons to the inimitable William F. Buckley Jr., minus the part where he was a closeted homosexual. An ardent supporter of President Donald Trump, he dedicated his life to spreading the Judeo-Christian values of free expression, America First, and branded hat salesmanship. (Full article...)

Day of which by the is known is the is
Punching Carrottop.jpg

October 14: National Hit an Annoying Person in the Head Day

  • 1066 - William the Conqueror punches an opposing soldier in the head at the Battle of Hastings.
  • 1922 - A man is punched in the head after he uses the elevator to ride a single floor instead of taking the stairs opposite the elevators.
  • 1999 - A PC spits a CD out of its CD-ROM drive, hitting Bill Gates in the head. This is the first confirmed instance of artificial intelligence.
  • 2003 - George of the Jungle was captured by a nearby tree, which promptly clubbed him in the head. Apparently the tree was meditating when George's distracting collisions occurred.
  • 2009 - Someone hits an annoying person with a stick 9 times.
  • Future - <insert name here> is brutally hit over the head with clubs for being an Uncyclopedian.
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procrastination
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In the news
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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas Cowboys • Pregnant moms taking Tylenol to give their babies "autism powers" • Democrats and Republicans throwing hissy fits in D.C.

Recent deaths: Terence StampThe Devil's Rejects Unrated 4K Director's Cut • Trump's pet slothJoe Burrow's toe • Robert RedfordBaltimore Ravens' morale • The U.S. Federal Government • Jane GoodallThe Yankees' World Series dreams • Diane KeatonGaza War (THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!)

Upcoming deaths: DEIR. Kelly and Bryan KohbergerIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • The flowers you bring Alan Bergman • Cowboys', Bengals' and Ravens' season • MSNBCLil Nas XDonald TrumpWindows 10 • Aforementioned Tylenol moms • Mark Butt-fumble's career and freedom


Of the precise fortune? Questionate Grunt!

Aknowledge of you...
*... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
  • ...that you actually didn't know?
Image of announcing is
Cthulhu's Vacation
"Hey, guys! Where ya goin'? I'm all packed and... aaaww, shit, there goes the bus."

Image credit: Some user
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Plus articles young by which | Very page of is the dear to some | Do write of which is wanted | Handicapped people plus | Single page | Look again urine | manuscript attempt of by subject...

Manuscript make of person and the and new people which the monthly
Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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