User:Zombiebaron/VanHalen

Welcome to Halenopedia, the Van Halen-obsessed encyclopedia that can Jump! 1984 articles about Panama

Van Halen Eddie Van Halen David Lee Roth

Sammy Hagar Hot for Teacher You Really Got Me

Dreams Jamie's Cryin' Eruption

The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team. The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...) Recently featured: UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid HowTo:Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic Biffy Clyro Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that the police are at your door? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content? ... that the Gay Agenda is out to get you? (Pictured) ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit? ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives? ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless? ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that the police are at your door? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content? ... that the Gay Agenda is out to get you? (Pictured) ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit? ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives? ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless? ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that the police are at your door? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content? ... that the Gay Agenda is out to get you? (Pictured) ... that if you breed a Bulldog and a Shih Tzu; you will get a Bullshit? ... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives? ... that there is no consensus among experts on vice presidential history that Al Gore exists? ... that those actually were the droids you were looking for? ... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes? ... that Liechtenstein is completely pointless? ... that in 2007 the Department of Homeland Security released a series of informative pamphlets on surviving a terrorist attack? ... that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (Pictured) ... that spambots suffer from constant self-doubt and low self esteem? They have feelings too you know. ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that the police are at your door? ... that your car is rolling down the driveway right now? ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that someone reading Uncyclopedia has an erection right now, even though we barely have pornographic content?	In the news Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • DMV-based sitcom canned after people realize they can watch literally anything else • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too On this day... March 30: International Cleavage Day 13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers. 1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps. 1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land. 1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her. 1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene. 1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition. 2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules.
Featured picture Trump in peach, after getting in peached. Image credit: User:DoctorJones View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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