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Van Halen Eddie Van Halen David Lee Roth

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The Buffalo Bills are a "professional" football "team". Their home is in Buffalo, New York. They are widely regarded as one of the most successful NFL franchises to exist ever. Their only championships where in 1964 and 1965 when they won two AFL titles. However, the Bills have not won any championships since the AFL–NFL merger, a move that many now consider "a huge fuck up". They were owned by a 93-year-old zombie man who refused to die named Ralph Wilson. In 2014 Wilson finally kicked the bucket, fucking zombie! Buffalo Sabres owner, oil fracker, and resident idiot Terry Pegula bought the team. The Buffalo Bills are named after Buffalo Bill, a friendly man who lived in the woods all by himself. He would have guests over frequently where they would stay in a well he constructed in his home. They would stay for several days putting lotion on their skin. Bill then proceeded to skin them alive and wear their skin. The founders of the Bills felt this sort of behavior was admirable.(Full article...) Recently featured: UnGames:Garlic bread Orchid HowTo:Rearrange the deckchairs on the Titanic Biffy Clyro Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... the muffin man? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (Pictured) ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings? ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass? ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... the muffin man? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (Pictured) ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings? ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass? ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... the muffin man? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke? ... that former Australian prime minister John Howard once spent over 48 hours in session with his cabinet? (Pictured) ... that Minecraft developers are flat earthers? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that still lifes are the most interesting paintings? ... that solid, liquid, and gas all come out your ass? ... there's a ninja behind you but it left when you turned around? ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes? ... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia? ... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured) ... the muffin man? ... that 98% of Americans have no idea what they would do in a hypothetical situation? ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked? ... that a very large number of events, both noteworthy and non-noteworthy, occurred in 1993? ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit? ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once? ... you're so fat, that if you don't stop, within a month you're gonna have a heart attack or stroke?	In the news Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too On this day... March 30: International Cleavage Day 13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers. 1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps. 1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land. 1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her. 1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene. 1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition. 2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules.
Featured picture The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it. Image credit: Serge Billault View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month! Get voting!

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