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Edward Christopher "Ed" [insert singular 3rd person subjective pronoun]eran (born 17 February 1991 - died NEVER) is a Canadian-British singer-songwriter, actor, owner of a bar in London, and Rupert Grint lookalike. He is also known as "Teddy" on Instagram. Additionally, he is considered to be the "one true god" of his home country, and even the entire world. Asides from that, he's known to the public as the "Ginger Jesus". Ed is arguably a fad of the year 2017 and also a British nationalist. Even though his career was meant to fade away at the end of the 2010s, he manages to still make music to this day, much to everyone's annoyances. He is known to have a lot of chart hits, especially in the UK, including "The B Team", "Untitled (Take Me Into Your Loving Arms)", "Nothing Happens After Two" and most infamously, "I'm Back & I'm Desperate". However, they are most likely plagiarized, but he still gets away with it. His private life isn't very well known, thanks to having no surveillance cameras in his home and the fact that the address to it is changed every day. Despite having a male given name, Ed somehow manages to have female pronouns as part of his surname, so, logically, he would've instantly became a "she" right away. Oh fuck, how do we go by them again? (Full article...) Recently featured: John Marshall You Rob Gronkowski Kirkification Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed. ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill? ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured) ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about... ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable? ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity? ... that I am Batman? ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads? ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman? ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed. ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill? ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured) ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about... ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable? ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity? ... that I am Batman? ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads? ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman? ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed. ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill? ... that Hans Helmuth Saltzman's collection of Camera Obscura images is the best preserved of the Renaissance era? (Pictured) ... that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience? ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about... ... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable? ... that much like your cancer-stricken Grandpa, the United Kingdom would rather shit the bed than accept its fate and fade into obscurity? ... that I am Batman? ... that dyslexic farmers wear catflaps on their heads? ... that the life of Jesus Christ contains many allusions to Superman? ... that the Easter Bunny must kill every 100 years? (Pictured) ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that Earth, Wind & Fire have produced a multi-season autobiography? ... that the Japanese have a saying: "A man cannot read the same Wikipedia page twice"? The pages are constantly being edited, and the act of reading it will make you a different person. Therefore, when a man goes back to re-read it, both the text and the man have been changed. ... that Billie Jean was not Michael Jackson's lover but Macaluey Culkin was? ... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted? ... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die? ... that Hitler killed himself out of fear of Soviet capture and torture, not because he saw the gas bill?	In the news 1977-2026 US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters So.. about that Super Bowl.. Bad Bunny and TPUSA offer equally heathen, equally crappy halftime shows GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL!! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Next season's Super Bowl revealed to be on Valentine's Day Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Buffalo Bills owner Terry Pegula proven to be clueless, fires the wrong guy Denver Broncos quarterback Bo Nix accidentally curses himself in playoff win Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • Winter Olympics • r/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over Recent deaths: Uncyclopedia • Catherine O'Hara • Lamont • Brad Arnold • NFL season • Lindsay Vonn's leg • Some kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny title • James Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) (Pictured) • Robert Duvall • Kurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse Jackson Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • NYC's economy • Weed • Dick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again On this day... February 17: Sheeranist New Year (United Kingdom) 1991 - Famed British musician Ed Sheeran is born. Brits rejoice that their Messiah is finally with them. 1996 - Gary Kasparov loses a game of chess to a computer, like that's never happened to anyone before. 2008 - USA bombs some country after the military finds a few extra bombs hiding in an old pair of pants. 2017 - Denmark is officially recognized as a mistake and erased from history. 2026 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder.
Featured picture When it was invented, the lance with a brick on the end was considered a marvel of contemporary medieval war technology. The lance with a brick on the end made it possible for unexperienced, n00b knights to defeat 1337 knights using the old-fashioned, brick-free lances nine times out of ten. The vast superiority of the lance with a brick on the end led to its near-universal adoption within a period of less than two decades. Note that the n00b knight on the right also has an Apexi "Cat back" muffler system on his head, which is first evidence that riceboys existed as early as the 14th century. Image credit: Sunsneezer View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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