|
Archaeology, or archæology (from Αρχαίος, nobody cares, and Λογος, the study of not caring) is the study of really really old stuff. Many people confuse archaeology with archeology due to the almost identical spelling and the fact that they mean the same thing. While seemingly pointless, archaeologists assert that we can learn lots of new things by looking at old things, despite the immediate logical impossibilities. Most archaeologists are full of theories with their "carbon dating" witchcraft. As Archaeology for Kids! host Bryan Williamson once said, "I mean, carbon atoms don't have sex, do they? Why should they date then if they can't do anything freaky with electrons in the privacy of a high speed collision chamber? Ok now I have got that off my chest, I will return to imagining how dead people once lived."
The first reported archaeologist was a king of Babylonia called Nabonidus in the 6th century B.C. He was so keen at preserving old buildings that he neglected to look after his country and was overthrown by Cyrus the Great of Persia. Modern historians, who are to archaeologists as strippers are to losers, know this to be true as Nabonidus's discarded monogrammed shorts and trowel were found embedded in ancient ruins that belonged to civilisations much older than his. (Full article...)
|
Did you know...
|
 - ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
 - ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
- ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
- ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
- ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"?
- ... that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
- ... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
|
|
In the news
|
|
|
On this day...
|
March 18: World Happiness Day
- 51,000 BC - World Happiness Day is declared with a series of rhythmic grunts when two homo erecti discover fire.
- 1906 - Pope declares suicide a mortal sin, worse than butt sex, watching anime and murder.
- 1953 - Senator Joseph McCarthy briefly bans Kitten Huffing, but later retracts said decree, claiming he "was high off [his] ass."
- 1954 - Scientists fist discover the Moon, they later find out it wasn't really the Moon they discovered, but the Sun.
- 1985 - Australia's version of EastEnders premieres to the public, however, it made Aussies more happier than expected.
- 1993 - The Sun tells scientists it and earth should "Just be friends," the sun promises to call every few weeks.
- 2008 - After numerous requests by the American public, God finally damns It, It is never found.
- 2016 - A rerun of the smash hit TV show Full House is shown around the world, millions kill themselves, unable to stand the torture.
|
| Colonization of the Week
|
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
|
|
