User:Sawblade5/Main Page For The Hard to See

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“Fools make a mock-at-sin: but among the righteous there is favour.”

THE COLOR OF THE GODS • THE HUE OF SALVATION • THE SECRET TO IMMORTALITY • THE BEGINNING AND END OF ALL THAT IS INSANE • THE FUCKING OF THE BATS (#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)


MOCCASINS ARE BEIGNESS AND BEIGNESS IS MOCCASINS • MOCASSINGS PROTECT ALL THAT IS HOLY AND YOUR FAMILY HONOUR • LIVE FOREVER IN YOUR MOCCASINS • THE MOCASSIN IS ALPHA AND THE MOCASSIN IS OMEGA • MOCASSIN EXCEPTIONALISM IMPERMEATES THE FABRIC OF TIME AND SPACE • (#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)(#ffe4b5)
(Full article...)

Did you know...

*... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?

In the news

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moccasins.

Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Stranger Things 5 and Spaceballs 2 • Russia-Ukraine "peace talks" • ICE/Antifa clashes • Trump and Elon's couples therapy • Jerry Jones screwing the Dallas CowboysThe Andrew Formerly Known as PrinceRich people fleeing NYC

Recent deaths: YouTube player's old design • the guitarist and a security guard from KISSJune LockhartNick MangoldJamaicaToronto Blue Jays' World Series dreams • Donna GodchauxDiane LaddDick Cheney • U.S. Government shutdown (finally!) • Tatsuya NakadaiSally Kirkland • The penny

Upcoming deaths: Eurovision Song ContestDEIIran's nuclear program • Diddy's bank account • MSNBCDonald TrumpMark Butt-fumble's career • Coral reefsCapitalism in NYCBills Mafia's livers and kidneys after losing horribly to the Miami DolphinsWeedStranger Things

On this day...

Stylish.

November 15: Rock Your Mocs Day

  • 1491 - Christopher Columbus arrives at the New World, only to be told that he is a year early.
  • 1533 - Francisco Pizarro arrives in Cuzco, Peru. He notices that the iguanas have unusually piercing stares.
  • 1726 - Shenandoah, Chief of the Oneida Indians, invents a new type of footwear, made of deerskin leather stitched into a soft shoe. (Pictured)
  • 1727 - A group of unscrupulous Europeans, led by Leon "L. L." Bean, steal the secrets of the moccasin, and send Shenandoah a paltry 1.5% royalty fee for each pair sold.
  • 1800 - Napoleon Bonaparte establishes the Fashion Police and makes it illegal to wear any shoes that are not moccasins.
  • 1941 - Heinrich Himmler orders all homosexuals in Germany to be sent to concentration camps: the Wehrmacht, once the most fashionable army in the world, soon find themselves poorly groomed and wearing fatigues that clash with their boots.
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Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Jesus on Raptor
Some modifications have been made to the newest translation of the Holy Bible. In this scene (often called "Palm Sunday"), Jesus is now riding a raptor. While this was partially made to help make Jesus more accessible to Today's children, the decision was also made because certain Christians didn't want people to be able to say that Jesus was "riding someone's ass" that day. Both scientists and fundamental Christians question the historical accuracy of this account. From the New Cooler Edition: "And Christ touched the Velociraptor, and the Velociraptor was tamed." Luke 13:37 (NCE)

Image credit: Tshell
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Writer and Noob of the Month

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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


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Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


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Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


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