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Intelligent Mathematics (colloquially Intelligent Math) is the assertion that "certain features of the mathematics and numbers are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as logic and reasoning." It is a teleological proof of the existence of God. The idea was developed by a group of American theological scientists who recognise the nature of absolute truth. They have determined that modern mathematical thinking is flawed, and that science is currently feeding us false information. (Full article...)

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*... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?

... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
... that there is a pipe bomb placed in your mailbox?
... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?

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On this day...
December 5: Unwanted Advertising Day (U.S.) 1897 - Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and he wants you to listen to Adele's brand new album, ready for the holiday season! Her lung noises make you feel sad, give her money! 1922 - The Coca-Cola Company debuts its famous Polar Bear mascot for the holiday season! The crisp, refreshing taste of our caramelized fizz water attracts even vicious arctic predators! 1998 - 100 billionth e-mail with subject line "Viagra is food for the soul" opened: Sponsored by Viagra: Penis Yours Big Penis Women Fuck™. 1970 - British funny-makers who are very popular with 18 to 34 year old internet income dispensers make funny skit about SPAM®! What a funny sketch! Spammity-spam! Hilarity! Buy our products. 2009 - Famous Chihuahua mascot of Tex-Mex food-service provider Taco Bell, Gidget, dies after one too many lines of cocaine. The fame went to his head! Commemorate this tragedy by buying one of our Doritos Locos Tacos (in cool ranch or fiery red spicy)! 2012 - Everyone decides that it's okay to put Twitter hashtags on commercials. Is this who we are as a species? Is this the reason why God has condemned use to die? View tomorrow – More anniversaries...
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For the glory of her majesty Help us clear the ivy of crap, and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Calvin and Hobbes was a popular comic strip during the 80s and 90s which discussed various religious ideas. Though he would later become known for his theory of predestination, John Calvin, shown here, was plagued by recurring religious doubt throughout his early career.

Image credit: Squiggle
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

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