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40,773 Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron
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Charlie Kirk was a right-wing political activist, master(de)bater, possessor of the world's largest non-equine set of gums, and penitent God-fearer. He was best known for being a follower of Christ, having a perfectly proportioned smile, and for founding Turning Point USA, a conservative advocacy group which sought to bridge the political divide wrecking our nation by browbeating and clip-farming America's most retarded liberals for social media clout. His viral debate clips garnered tens of millions of views, and his staunch defense of pro-life, pro-gun, and pro-America viewpoints earned him comparisons to the inimitable William F. Buckley Jr., minus the part where he was a closeted homosexual. An ardent supporter of President Donald Trump, he dedicated his life to spreading the Judeo-Christian values of free expression, America First, and branded hat salesmanship. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that I don't like them putting chemicals in the water that turn the frickin' frogs gay?
- ...that Elon Musk plots to monetarily obtain Madagascar for the industrialization of Tesla manufacturing plants, alongside having it renamed "Mada-electric-car"?
- ... that the keyboard you have been using has more germs than your toilet seat?
- ... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure aids?
- ...that you actually didn't know?
- ... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
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In the news
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One simply cannot piss until he scans this.
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On this day...
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October 13: International Paranoia Day
- 1792 - Cornerstone laid for the White House. Who lays stones? Masons. What organization did the masons start? Freemasons. Do I need to spell the rest out for you people?
- 1835 - Nothing of historical significance happened on this day in history... or so the Illuminati would have us believe.
- 1955 - The. U.S. Government does not begin top secret operations at Area 51 (wink wink).
- 1974 - TV personality Ed Sullivan passes away due to "natural causes". And just like that, the Jews are one step closer to global domination.
- 2000 - Preparations for the 9-11 attacks are begun by agents of the United Nations, the Jews, the CIA, and the Vatican.
- 2025 - Nothing apocalyptic will happen... or will it?
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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Uncyclopedia Languages
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This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,773 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Zombiebaron/Zombiebaron Day!:
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