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White History Month, (also known as Caucasian History Month), is an annual observance for remembrance of important people and events in the history of the Caucasian diaspora. It is celebrated annually in the United States every September. Before the United States was established, Caucasians were a minority race outnumbered by Africans, Asians and even Indians; they were often negated to ghettos and inner slums in their native hometowns of Europe and the United Kingdom. The treatment of them were staggering, many of them were forced to panhandle for money because they could not find work from their black employers, many of them were also beaten up in a show of superiority from the police force of which few Caucasians were admitted. It was not until the beginning of the American revolution that the caucasians would see a massive rise in population, thus bringing them closer to their peers.

With the establishment of the United States, the Caucasians made a place for their own; however, there was a huge problem in that African masters would often venture into the United States looking for Caucasian slaves. While enslaved, they were forced to do menial labor such as harvest crops and clean up the bathrooms of said Africans and whenever said Caucasian would get out of control, they'd be whipped or much worse, killed in front of their peers. (Full article...)

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Did you know...

... that John Travolta (Pictured) isn't gay?

... that the toaster in Pulp Fiction is wanted in connection with at least 5 unsolved murders? (Pictured)

... that the light at the end of the tunnel is commonly reported to be a strobe light accented with techno?
... that the packets of silica gel that say "DO NOT EAT" are actually delicious?
... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
... that Abraham Lincoln was an accomplished skateboarder?
... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
... that, because of Anonymous' credibility, he has become a frequent source of information for news articles?

... cluck gawk cluck cluck cluck cluck bock bock cluck cluck B`gawk? (Pictured)

... that every time you fall asleep, you die?
... that there is a 9 out of 10 chance that New Jersey is actually a state?
... that being safe with guns is- *BANG*
... that there is one imposter among us?
... that those actually were the droids you were looking for?
... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period?
... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.

... that ‪Captain Autofellatio (Pictured) often gets distracted from crime-fighting?

... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?
... that a chicken-proof lawn is impeckable?
... that sheep shrink when it rains?
... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
... that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection? Sorry Candace...
... that when a suicide bomber dies and goes to paradise, he is given 72 virgins? But all of them are wiki editors?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?

... the secret to good advertising is to lie? (Pictured)

... that every time you blink, you get transported to another alternative Universe?
... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
... that Alexander isn't really that Great?
... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
... that recent advances in nanobiotechnology have led to advanced, implantable music players capable of holding up to three seconds of low-quality MP3 audio?
... that everything will become nostalgic due to everything being worse?

... that 9/11 (Pictured) was an outside job?

... that you're more likely to get struck by lightning twice than to discard an irrational fear based on a statistic like this one?
... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
... about Alliteration articulating an artistic approach aimed at annotating and arranging alphabetic accouterments as alarmingly asinine alignments?
... that the American Civil War was actually marked by many instances of uncivil behavior?
... that an umbrella is a magical object that is used in many cultures to discourage rainfall?
... that it takes a man about thirty-four months to cross the Atlantic ocean on a turtle?

... that the Deep-fried Mars Bar is responsible for the deaths of thousands in Scotland? (Pictured)

... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does?
... that Mercury is not a miracle substance and does not cure AIDS?
... God doesn't appreciate those who smoke?
... that every single day, we breathe enough air to continue living?
... that oxygen is a highly addictive drug, with 100% of all users becoming addicted with their first hit?
... that there is one imposter among us?

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In the news
World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • Impossibly long lines at American airports Recent deaths*: Buffy • Xander Harris • Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • DMV* - the TV show, not the actual DMV. It ended on a cliffhanger: Everyone was still waiting for their number to be called. • Mr. Strickland Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • TSA agents' bank accounts and sanity • Sora UnNews – Radio Free Lunch
On this day...
March 28: Turkey—the Country, not the Bird—Day 1453 - Constantinople wants to reinvent itself, changes name to Istanbul, but honestly everyone preferred Byzantium. 1784 - Benjamin Franklin proposes that the humble turkey be the national bird of the United States, since it's got a big juicy ass. 1871 - French revolutionaries form the Paris Commune, nascent leadership quickly devolves into squabbling over the finer points of Marx's Critique of the Gotha Program before getting skewered by French troops. 1979 - A nuclear meltdown in Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania actually mutates the population of Pittsburgh closer to normal. 1990 - George W. Bush gives the late Jesse Owens the Presidential Medal of Freedom, Bush now says he has black friend. 2018 - The traitor Gülen (Pictured) sits on his remote and changes the channel seconds before the climax to his favorite soap; God is with us brothers. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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