Zombiebaron Zombiebaron,

40,980 Zombiebaron Zombiebaron Zombiebaron

Zombiebaron · Zombiebaron · Zombiebaron · Zombiebaron · Zombiebaron · Zombiebaron

Dead Dicks, besides being the enduring legacy of mythomaniacal former U.S. Presidents, Lyndon Baines Johnson and "Tricky Dick" Nixon, are also a numerical unit of one in Vietnam War "grunt-speak." The term was first used to describe a war stiff reported by the Vietnamese and American governments during the "body count" game. "Body-count" was a ghastly, albeit highly rated televised sport notorious for being imposed on the citizens of Vietnam and America by the captains of both teams. Essentially a dead dick is the complete opposite of a live dick, also known in Vietnam as a "Swinging Dick." From the onset both sides of the conflict agreed via negotiations that "the only good dick is a dead one." Accordingly the scoring system came into play and the game was once again a-foot. (Full article...)

Recently featured:

Archive · Vote for featured articles · Purge

Did you know...

... that solar flares are actually maritime distress signals launched by astronauts floating in the Sun's vast oceans? (Pictured)

... that Wikipedia contains millions of articles written by countless anonymous contributors? (Pictured)

... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
... that Earth is the best planet in the world?
... that my dad reproduces asexually, thus making me impervious to yo momma jokes?
... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
... that contrary to popular belief, popular belief isn't all that popular?
... that testicles are edible and a good source of protein?

... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured)

... that vaccinations and computer games combined make a deadly cocktail for autism?
... that anyone who dies at Disneyland receives a free lifetime pass?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?
... that your baby boy would one day walk on water?
... that Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the world's most intelligent and fastest-growing religion?
... that there is one imposter among us?
... that the comic strip Fred Basset is interesting but not in the sense that might be expected of a comic strip?

... that video games have been linked to aggressive behavior in teenagers? (Pictured)

... that while Pong! the Movie followed suit with the wildly popular video game genre, such as The Super Mario Bros. movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out as well in the box offices?
... that the police are at your door?
... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"?
... that if you laid out all of the nerves in your body end-to-end, you'd die?
... that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
... that at some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser?
... that Earth has 1 sextillion grains of sand?

... that a smiling Joe Pesci is never a good thing? (Pictured)

... that bipolar bears are not to be messed with, more-so than polar bears?
... that you... you should have gone for my head? Oh Snap!
... that many diseases can be prevented by washing your hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case?
... that the national pastime of Palestine is Stone the Israeli Tank?
... that there is a simple, easy solution to the fact that you cannot understand the foreigners who are sitting next to you?
... that originally, Hell was an acronym for "Happiness, Euphoria, and Lively Laughter?"
... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?

... that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (Pictured)

... that Osama bin Laden is actually alive and well and hiding in your closet?
... that the oozy, off-colored mound of bloody what-ever-it-is stretching its way out of what used to be a tiny hole is a baby's head?
...Jacking off to more exotic fetishes doesn't make you special?
... that the Rorschach inkblots all look kinda like my Aunt Gladys giving head to Satan?
... that The Oldest Trick in the Book was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
... that Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales lost his virginity at age 34, but he found it again at age 35?

... that 10 minutes of Super Bowl XLIII was mysteriously interrupted? (Pictured)

... that no true Scotsman sugars his porridge, while every true Irishman does?
... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
... that torture is better to give than to receive?
... that Robert Shaw won the Northeast Regional Dogfishing Open in 1974, the first sporting event to be broadcast on the new ESPN network?
... that sex in the ear canal is called CANAL (pronounced like anal but with a C in the beginning)?
... that this is why we can't have nice things?
... that the fictional droid C-3PO is fluent in over six million forms of communication, but only four of them are love?

Archive – Suggest new entries

In the news
Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad UnNews – Radio Free Lunch**
On this day...
March 7: Talk Like Caveman Day 11,000 BC - Grog think very hard and make up number coming after two, called like "tree" but dumb: Grog pummeled with many rock for wasting everybody's time. 9800 BC - All the mammoths are burned to death by Grog, his friends pelt him with poop since they have no food, but now there is no poop to eat either. 2580 BC - Grog's best friend Enkidu seduced by city-slicker propaganda, play dress up as civilized instead of sucking on rocks and eating bugs like good old days. 2500 BC - Grog sandboards down the slope of the Pyramids, is detained and put on cave arrest. 1309 AD - Grog is happy and healthy in cave, while stupid civilized people die of Cholera and Plague, at least until Grog eat juicy rat. 1995 - Unabomber say modern gizmos bad for soul of humanity, but Grog have smelly green leg and must punch antelope to death everyday for breakfast so what does he know. View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Today's featured picture

The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter.

Image credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

edit
Recent Articles

Writer and Noob of the Month

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.

Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects as well as some foreign language Uncyclopedias and Illogicopedia.

UnNews
News on crack
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary
Best left unsaid
UnTunes
Noisy things
UnGames
Ways to waste away
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures
UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable
Useless misquotes
Uncycloversity
No student loans
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant
UnScripts
We ruin stage too
Why?
Because
UnReviews
Hack frauds
UnVoyage
Armchair travel
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation

Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,980 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Klingon!:

	Uncyclopedia English United States 40,980	Desciclopédia Português Brazil 50785	アンサイクロペディア日本語 Japan 19194	Nonsensopedia Polski Poland 17766	Nonciclopedia Italiano Italy 14423
	Désencyclopédie Français France 8936	Inciclopedia Español Spain 12400	偽基百科正體中文 Taiwan 6417	Uncyclopedia.de Deutsch Germany 6330	Hikipedia Suomi Finland 7300
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.

Other Uncyclopedias

	백괴사전 한국어 South Korea 6303	ไร้สาระนุกรม ไทย Thailand 3132	Pekepedia Tagalog Philippines 275	Bodohpedia Bahasa Melayu Malaysia 105	伪基百科汉语 China 8269
	איןציקלופדיה עברית Israel 2187	קיינציקלאָפעדיע יידיש Yiddish 46	Tolololpedia Bahasa Indonesia Indonesia 6054	Ikkepedia Norsk Norway 4563	Ikkjepedia Norsk (nynorsk) Norway
	Yansiklopedi Türkçe Turkey 762	اللاموسوعة العربية Iraq 976	نانشنامه فارسی Iran 943	ანციკლ ოპედია ქართული Georgia 4	Uncyclopedia.km ភាសាខ្មែរ Cambodia 1
	Spademanns Leksikon Dansk Denmark 9095	Psyklopedin Svenska Sweden 2497	Անգրագ իտարան Հայերեն Armenia 4	ວິກິພີເດຍ ລາວ Laos 8	আনসাইক্ল োপিডিয়া বাংলা Bangladesh 17
	Φρικηπαίδεια Ελληνικά Greece 2812	Celwyddoniadur Cymraeg Wales 103	Scotypedia Scots Scotland 10	Frithchiclipéid Gaeilge Ireland 19	Kengencyclopedia Lëtzebuergesch Luxembourg 7
	Нециклопедија Српски Serbia 456	Neciklopedija Bosanski Bosnia 27	Neciklopediju Hrvatski Croatia 303	Butalopedija Slovenščina Slovenia 31	Википедија Македонски Macedonia 175
	Oncyclopedia Nederlands Belgium and Holland 2807	Kwatsjpedia Limburgs Limburgs 21	Necyklopedie Česky Czech Republic 3530	Necyklopedia Slovenčina Slovakia 1888	Unciklopédia Magyar Hungary 1731
	Оксипедия Български Bulgaria 234	Neciclopedie Română Romania 167	Uichipedia Молдовеняскэ Moldova 4	Інциклопедія Українська Ukraine 1117	Абсурдопедия Русский Russia 4466
	Ebatsüklopeedia Eesti Estonia 96	Neciklopēdija Latviešu Latvia 159	Juokopedija Lietuvių Lithuania 267	Neciklopedio Esperanto Esperanto 3176	Unsaiklopedia 𐌲𐌿𐍄𐌹𐍃𐌺‬ Goths 14
	Desgalipedia Galego Galicia 5009	Oisquipèdia Occitan Occitania 33	Necyclopædia Latina Vatican City 279	Hatsiklopedia Malagasy Madagascar 8	Zombiepedia Zombie Chapel 7
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on November 1, 2016.