User:UnJetamo

Welcome to UnJetamopedia, the content-free enjetamopedia that anyone-but-you can edit. 23 articles in Jetlish

The Yellow Banana ZORKS! The Tubernet

Pro Bono PUBLICO??? Quaint? What does quaint mean? I don't understand this link

Science. You know. The stuff that makes stuff happen? The Boring Historie. Blouse

Today's featured article Mark Rothko (September 25, 1903 – February 25, 1970) was a Latvian born, American artist who became famous for his color field, abstract expressionist paintings. Since he personally rejected those labels to describe his work and even bristled at the word “abstract”, it’s fair to throw in pretentious avante-garde nutjob as well. The first achievement of anyone who wishes to become an artist is to break your parent’s hearts by becoming “the special child” who ignores the economic realities of life and forgoes a lucrative or realistic career for the sake of hanging out with other people just like him or herself. Rothko accomplished this pre-requisite during the American Great Depression of the 1930’s and left his mother crying “why why why” many years before the phrase would be popularized by Nancy Kerrigan. (Full article...) Recently featured: Foreign accent syndrome CaseOh Conspiracy Theory Generator Why?:Is there a monkey in my fridge? Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... ... that I hear voices outside my room? (Pictured) ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050? ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A? ... that Pennywise the Clown wants to entertain you? (Pictured) ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that I hear voices outside my room? (Pictured) ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050? ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A? ... that Pennywise the Clown wants to entertain you? (Pictured) ... that this is just a distraction while we take your car? ... that the song "Harder Better Faster Stronger" by Daft Punk is a giant "That's what she said" joke? ... that if I had to describe myself in three words, I would say "not very good at maths"? ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? ... that we must nuke the whales, or the hippies will win? ... that 100% of people who make good life choices die? ... that no word in the English language rhymes with the word flucumber? ... that I hear voices outside my room? (Pictured) ... that NASA will one day send sharks to space? ... that the amazing sensation of excruciatingly warm liquid on the genitals is just one of many reasons to pour boiling hot water down your trousers? ... that 100% of divorces start with marriage? ... that other people can prevent forest fires too? ... that male vampires are delighted when the female vampire goes on her period? ... that the Canadian government plans to convert the entire city of Vancouver into a giant marijuana farm by 2050? ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?	Some stuff i picked up. Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize (Pictured) Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump still really, really wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Privacy-infringing Nanny state officials enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein Files • War Special Combat Operation in Iran Recent deaths: Team Canada's pride • Some nerd named Robert Carradine • Warner Bros. bidding war • Neil Sedaka • Ali Khamenei Upcoming deaths: Donald Trump • Weed • Dancin' Maduro • Iran Undetermined: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad On this day... March 6: Roadkill Appreciation Day (North America & Australia) 3500 BC - In the first recorded instance of roadkill, Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses IV hits a small cat with his chariot. Shameful. 1869 - The first historical instance of so-called "cannibal roadkill" occurs when a horse-drawn buggy strikes a horse pulling a second buggy. 1934 - Hitler runs over a small ferret in his Volkswagen, precipitating his later invasion of Poland. 1962 - Julia Childs releases a groundbreaking roadkill culinary masterpiece titled Treadmarks and Tarragon. 1969 - President Nixon continues the Road Kill bombing over Vietnam. 1990 - Road Kill is officially the new Mystery Meat in school lunches. 1995 - Steve Ballmer runs over my dog after yelling at the top of his lungs "I'm going to fucking bury that dog. I've done it before and I will do it again. I'm going to Fucking Kill that dog."
Today's featured picture The future of proctology isn't in your hands, your hands are in it. Image credit: Serge Billault View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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