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The high-brow comedy website that only Gods can edit. 40,533 chosen articles; created by the finest writers alive.
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They tell you Mother Earth is special. They tell you she's the only planet known to support life, that we're alone, in the vast, indifferent oblivion that they dare call the cosmos, that all those expensive probes and rovers they keep thrusting towards Jupiter's moons are "just for research", that there's nothing lurking beneath the icy crust of Europa except a whole lot o' frozen nothing except for maybe some very chill saltwater.
Ah, but you see, my companion – it's all a ruse. A lie. A terminological inexactitude, even.
"Earth is the only planet to inhabit life"; why, that's what the feds at NASA want you to think. But they're lying. They're always lying. They lied about Area 51. They lied about Pluto. They lied about Santa Claus. They lied about the authenticity of the Moon landing.(Full article...)
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Did you know...
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*... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
- ... that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
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In the news
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Trump pictured holding up his project in front of his friends. They're all delighted.
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On this day...
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August 20: International Random Elvis Sighting Day
- 1971 - The rotting doppelganger corpse of Elvis is spotted shambling towards the still-living Elvis on stage at the International Hotel in Las Vegas.
- 1978 - A ghostly apparition of Elvis is reportedly spotted thrusting his hips at some unsuspecting Korean tourists in Times Square.
- 1986 - The face of Elvis allegedly seen inside a storm drain in Derry, Maine, asking unsuspecting young boys if they are "lonesome tonight."
- 2002 - U.S. Marines find a stash of peanut butter banana sandwiches and methamphetamines inside a cave in Kabul, along with a written note: "Only fools rush in, uh-huh huh."
- 2005 - The silhouette of Elvis, made out of seafoam and kelp, is seen lapping at the shores of Epstein island, singing, "I hunger for your touch..."
- 2020 - San Jose residents report seeing the fiery visage of Elvis amid the smoke of a wildfire, screaming, "Lord Almighty, I feel my temperature rising!"
- 2021 - What were once believed to be Elvis sightings at Burger King turn out to just be hallucinatory effects of alleged food-product Impossible Whopper.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 40,533 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Uncyclopedia page!:
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