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Colin Rat Kaepernick is an American professional political activist, clown, police officer, and occasional football player. He played six seasons for the San Francisco 49ers in the National Football League (NFL). As a political activist, Kaepernick stopped standing during the national anthem (a song about the American flag and military) at the start of NFL games in protest of systemic disrespect for police officers in American culture. He also did this to draw more attention to himself in the wake of losing his starting job and being benched for Blaine Gabbert. Kaepernick played college football for the Reno Wolf Sack, where he was twice named the WAC Most Offensive Person of the Year. After leaving Reno, he was selected by the 49ers in the second round of the 2011 NFL Draft. Kaepernick began his professional football career as a backup quarterback to Alex Smith and became the 49ers' starter in the middle of the 2012 season after Smith did what he does best. Kaepernick then went on to promote himself as much as possible, milking his stardom for all it was worth. (Full article...) Recently featured: Colin Kaepernick HowTo:Become the President of the United States Rachel Zegler Terraforming Archive · Vote for featured articles · Did you know... *... tennis isn't just a game? ...the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes? ... tennis isn't just a game? ...the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes? ... tennis isn't just a game?	In the news BREAKING: NEW POPE ALERT!!! (Pictured) Trump: "You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big." Phil Collins comes out of retirement after wank PBS and NPR to lose funding Spain and Portugal experience a country-wide blackout Sportswriter Leon Sandcastle gives his two cents on NFL draftee Shedeur Sanders's draft slide Trump believes that 200 countries negotiated trade deals with him Man delivers profound philosophical speech about elephants during his sojourn at the zoo Upcoming South Park season will be Canadian World shocked as Pope Francis kicks bucket (This is not a drill!) Chris Rock will succeed him in new comedy Head of Church Trump Administration prepares to deport everybody except Native Americans New Easter Bunny is a fascist Ongoing: The wait for GTA VI, Silksong, and Deltarune • Eurovision • Russian Invasion • Israel-Palestine conflict • DOGE budget cuts • SWAT teams on guard for the "chicken jockey" scene of A Minecraft Movie • Trump and Xi's tariff games • The IRS hunting late tax payers Recent deaths: Jay North • SPOILER: Joel • Pope Francis • Shedeur Sanders' career, before it even started • Lar Park Linkin • Gawr Gura • Toxicity • Girl-kisser and Harriet the Spy soundtrack artist Jill Sobule • Ruth Buzzi • LeBron James' playoff run Upcoming deaths: U.S. and Global economy • Luigi Mangione • Kate Middleton • Laura Palmer • DEI • Google's ad monopoly • Cleveland Browns' locker room • LeBron James' career • Diddy's chance at freedom On this day... May 8: National Bad Hair Day (Estonia) 1359 - Pantaloons invented, could dainty wooden clogs be far behind? 1778 - Pampered aristocracy of Western Europe first stitch curly lapdogs to their scalp. (Pictured) 1914 - Errors in year length calculations result in three months of 1913 repeated. 1919 - Warren G. Harding molests his index finger before turning the page. 1924 - Holy 26th Crusade to Monterey, California is unsuccesful because of wrong navigation and ends up in Rio de Janeiro. 1945 - V-E Day, victory in Europe: France unconditionally surrenders to US troops, paving the way for the construction of EuroDisney. 1982 - Abolition of the fixed turnip/gold exchange rate endorsed by American government. 1989 - Bay City Rollers declare: "We're still mad for plaid!"
Today's featured picture General Cornwallis, after initial demands for T.P. for his bunghole, surrenders to General Washington at Yorktown. Cornwallis, however, refused to return Washington's hat, even after being called a 'fartknocker'. Image credit: RadicalX View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images
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Writer and Noob of the Month Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome! So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore. Let us all clap for him because I said so. Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage! Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

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