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Today's featured corpse

Clown alledgedly threatened by Bryce Von Deenis.

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

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Did you know...

... that the history of Great Britain (Pictured) is greater than Frosties?

... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?

... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured)

... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?

... that the history of Great Britain (Pictured) is greater than Frosties?

... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?

... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured)

... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?

... that the history of Great Britain (Pictured) is greater than Frosties?

... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?

... that Elvis is NOT dead? (Pictured)

... that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?
... that in a world where movie trailers are crucial to a film's success... one man will provide his voice in innumerable trailers?
... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
... that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory?
... that if you were to stack up all the elephants on Earth, those elephants would die?
... that the sky is up and the ground is down, except in Australia where the opposite is true?
... that the entire world rightfully belongs to Albania?

... that the history of Great Britain (Pictured) is greater than Frosties?

... that the A-bombs dropped on Japan were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize?
... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
... that air is a fictional substance that was once believed to fill the space above the surface of the Earth? While this "air theory" was once used to explain various phenomena, air theory, at last refuted, has joined the gene, the atom, Antarctica, and the free lunch in a long list of scientific red herrings.
... that the moon is not made of cheese, but magnesium of milk powder, which explains why everyone that ever goes there feels sick when they come back?
... that the great Wall Street Crash of 1929 led to many opportunities for great photography of homeless people and farmers covered in dust the following years?
... that Ram Ranch really rocks?
... that Heaven has met its quota, and your dead granny has just been waitlisted?

Old pies – Suggest new pies

Latest murders
Chuck Norris didn't die, Death got Chuck Norris'd. World shocked as Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks the bucket (Pictured) Trump launches war with Iran, is given another Peace Prize Iran kept barely alive by Cardboard Ayatollah Team USA sweeps Canada in Olympic hockey; Trump renews "51st state" banter Want to know the next big investment? CLICK HERE! (this article is not sponsored by A.I.) The Andrew Formerly Known as Prince BUSTED FOR EPSTEIN CONNECTIONS! US Department of Health declares we should all become junk food eaters GEQBUS SAM DARNOLD HAS WON AN ACTUAL SUPER BOWL! VERY NICE! Take that, Josh Allen and Lamar Jackson! Uncyclopedia servers shit themselves for two days straight Tomodachi Life sequel to be released in April Donald Trump *still really, really* wants Greenland Alaska to pay for damages to Exxon Valdez Ongoing: Fallout from the Epstein Files • ~~War~~ Special Combat Operation in Iran • Chucky McGoo's jawline being gradually destroyed • March Madness Elite Eight Recent deaths: Robert Mueller • Transgender self-identity in India • Mr. Strickland • C.B. Buckner's carreer as an MLB ump • Duke's basketball season Upcoming deaths: Iran • Mahmoud Ahmadinejad • Atlanta Falcons • Streetsigns with Cesar Chavez's name • Sora • Tiger Woods' driver's license and career.. fuck it, his life can go too Murder News – Free Lunch at the Pie Hole**
Past murders...
March 30: International Cleavage Day 13B BC - God creates the Milky Way after squeezing stellar matter out of her insanely big knockers. 1692 - Twelve women are burned at the stake for inciting men to sin with their exposed bra straps. 1867 - America buys Alaska from the Russians because of its stiff Mountain peaks and vast tracts of fertile land. 1945 - Woman wears clothing that shows cleavage. The husband beats her. 1950 - The first film in Indonesia gets released, known for having at least one uncensored boob scene. 1977 - Marvel Comics designs a bra with a nipple window, claims its a proud Kryptonian tradition. 2012 - Big butts are now in! But you still can't be more than 120 pounds. Hey, I don't make the rules. View tomorrow – More murders...
Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty Help us bring back murder victims, and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

Cliff Williams of popular music combo AC/DC seen here practising his scales on his custom bass guitar. This bass couldn't produce any tunas, or even any tunes.

Image credit: Col.swordman
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.

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