Babel:Pd

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the dead encyclopedia that Ned can reanimate.
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Today's featured corpse

Clown alledgedly threatened by Bryce Von Deenis.

COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)

Yesterday's featured corpse


MonkeyInFridge69.png

Ahhh. Long day of work over. Time to grab that big-ass bowl of vegetable beef barley soup in the fridge.

Bill, you better not have touched my soup again! Like that time you got so drunk you took a whiz in it. Twice. Come to think of it, it was shitty soup. That probably improved it. Not like this one.

Let's see, cake, milk, horse semen, ketchup, monkey, hair roller thingy, soup! Yes! My life is whole again!

Hold on...

Why is my hair roller in here?

Wait...

This horse semen tastes funny. Did you put your semen in here again, Bill?

Don't ask how I know what yours tastes like. We were drunk. Not my fault.

Just a minute...

WHY IS THERE A MONKEY IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE?!? (Full article...)

Did you know...

Chickenedited.jpg
  • ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
  • ... that you just lost the Game?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
  • ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
Commie eats children.gif
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
  • ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
  • ... that my mom's name is also Martha?
  • ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
  • ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
  • ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
Chickenedited.jpg
  • ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
  • ... that you just lost the Game?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
  • ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
Commie eats children.gif
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
  • ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
  • ... that my mom's name is also Martha?
  • ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
  • ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
  • ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
Chickenedited.jpg
  • ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
  • ... that you just lost the Game?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
  • ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?
Commie eats children.gif
  • ... that the Pope recently announced that the whole "Christianity" thing is a whole load of shit?
  • ... that many children in third world countries don't have enough to eat, but most have access to the Food Network?
  • ... that Rihanna's hit song Umbrella can cause rain to fall upwards?
  • ... that my mom's name is also Martha?
  • ... that goldfish are neither gold nor fish?
  • ... that in 1933, the US Supreme Court accidentally repealed the 19th Amendment instead of the 18th Amendment, causing FDR - who abused Eleanor while he was in a wheelchair - to be reelected three more times due to women being banned from voting in the 1930's and 1940's?
  • ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
Chickenedited.jpg
  • ... the IRS is asking what's love got to do with your taxes?
  • ... that you just lost the Game?
  • ... that those suspicious white spots on your professor's blazer are in fact mayonnaise?
  • ... that I just had sex, and hey do you got any napkins?
  • ... Altaïr has excelled in the tactics of fooling the mentally challenged?
  • ... that my girlfriend has herpes? Neither did I.
  • ... that contrary to popular belief, she never actually sold seashells by the seashore?

Latest murders

CHJpdmF0ZS9sci9pbWFnZXMvd2Vic2l0ZS8yMDIyLTA1L2xvY2dvdHRsaWViMTI1MDEtaW1hZ2UuanBn.jpg
"Come! Come support my tacky AI website!"

Ongoing: Nanny state officials breaching people's privacy rights via enforcing social media bans and digital ID under the pretext of "think of the children!" • Fallout from the Epstein FilesWinter Olympicsr/TheDarnold still having a massive field day • NFL fans experiencing withdrawal symptoms with the season now over

Recent deaths: LamontBrad ArnoldNFL season • Lindsay Vonn's legSome kid from some movie you probably forgot existed, but had a funny titleJames Van Der Beek (Not Dick Van Dyke, Ashley Roberts from the Pussycat Dolls!) • Robert DuvallKurt Van Dyke (not Dick) • Jesse JacksonYouTubeTom NoonanMcSteamy from Grey's Anatomy (if you're Gen X) or the dad from Euphoria (if you're a Millennial or Gen Z)

Not dead: Dick Van Dyke, who's 100, bitches!! (Not to be confused with James Van Der Beek) • Quinton Reviews

Upcoming deaths: Donald TrumpNYC's economy • WeedDick van Dyke, eventually • Dancin' Maduro • Aaron Rodgers' career • Iran's government • The careers of everyone named in the Epstein Files (cough cough Bill and Hillary Clinton) • Travis Kelce • the US government, again • Warner Bros. (?) • A Las Vegas hotel that no one's going to care about

Past murders...

Pictured: Your taste in music/television/everything.

February 20: Hot Garbage Day

Pie of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us bring back murder victims,
and plant the seeds of daisies.

Today's featured pie

KGB Stalin
If you don't buy their chicken, you might end up disappearing.

Image credit: Bezdomniy
View image · Nominate new image · View all featured images

Recent Pie Recipes

More recent murders | Most wanted pies | Requested re-dos | Short recipes | Lonely piemakers | Pie Review | Try reanimating... | Daisies needing a push

Detective and Piemaker of the Month

Writer of the month.png

Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!

So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.

Let us all clap for him because I said so.


BePrepared.png

Do not pull your pants up just yet. We got a Uncyclopedian of the Month award winner up in here! Give it up for Leverage!


Noobaward.png

Since there is no winner for the Noob of the Moment, you are all now noobs. There are a couple of long-running nominations, but they are stuck there, like foetuses in suspended animation, and I fear for their souls.


Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Moment | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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