Today's featured corpse
COEUR D'COEURS, USA -- Several circus performers at the local Barry Sonnenfeld & Bryan Fuller Shrine Circus have died under mysterious circumstances. According to one such victim, a mime who was brought back from the dead for 60 seconds by a local piemaker named Ned, a man named Bryce Von Deenis threatened to kill several clowns for making a dirty limerick about his last name. (More)
Yesterday's featured corpse
Uncyclopedia is proud to present an exclusive, never before published column by Chuck Norris.
Recently a debate aired on ABC's Nightline pitting popular theists, Ray Comfort and Kirk Cameron, against two reviled atheists from the "Rational" Response Squad, which is also reviled. This testifies to the growing number (30 million people) of fools who profess there is no God. Add to that what I believe is possibly three times that number of functional atheists, those who believe in a God but don't show it (as True Christians® do, by voting Republican, wearing little American flag pins and putting Jesus fish on the tailgates of their pickup trucks), and patriotic Americans in America are facing a new religious horizon in which atheism is becoming a formidable foe.
Shockingly, although the majority of Americans continue to claim to be Christians, a Gallup poll discovered that forty-five percent of the population would support an atheist for President. Such a survey is a clear indication that the secularization of our Christian nation is alive and well. Secularization, if you are not aware, will signal the end of America as we know it. For example, soon the secular government, blinded by their lack of common Christian decency, will (as they did with public schools) banish the Bible from the White House, before banning it in church and eventually outlawing it in your very own home! Will real Americans continue to stand for this outrage? I pray to the Lord, no. (Full article...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?

- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?

- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?

- ...the Cleveland Indians were about to become the Cleveland Clevelands?
- ... that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
- ... that The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that... uh, shit, I forgot what I was gonna say.
- ... You can do anything with creativity, determination, and the exploitation of the working class?
- ... that the average human male between the ages of 18 and 42 has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that silent radio (Pictured) existed before regular radio?
- ... that Witch-Hunting For Fun and Profit has mostly turned into Witch-Hunting For Fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
- ... that Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination A, the sister drug to Stupendous Tropical Meningitis Vaccination B, is very effective against Stupendous Tropical Meningitis?
- ... that the bow-tie is an aphrodisiac worn by male humans which instantly increases the sexual appeal of the wearer by 16%?
- ... that making drugs explode in your stomach is not a good way to make yourself smarter?
- ... that under Communism, everyone gets a C?
- ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
- ... that Thomas Edison was arrested on charges of pornography following the release of his short film, Woman Whose Ankle is Partly Visible?
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